Sex Positivity is Dead.

Let's talk about what killed it.
Watch This 👩🏾‍💻 "Why the Girls are Giving Up on Sexual Liberation" kzbin.infoGGQ3l_WtygA
Links 🖇
Sex-positive feminism had its moment - and now it has been replaced by voluntary celibacy
[www.theguardian.com/commentis...]
The “feminist” case against having sex for fun
[www.vox.com/politics/24134852...]
Sex Positivity Was Fake, But We'll Miss It When It's Gone
[moiradonegan.substack.com/p/s...]
[www.nytimes.com/2024/06/13/op...]
This video is sponsored by The Black Girl Blueprint. Bring beauty and charm to your space with the BGBP’s unique, affordable wall art, home decor, and stationery. FREE US SHIPPING! www.thebgbp.com/

[@KimberlyNicoleFoster89]

1. Watch this on 1.5 speed. I'm a slow talker like Barack Obama 🤣 2. Video begins @ 04:00

[@jadehooper3889]

What you lack in speed when it comes to talking, you make up for it with your reading aloud to us. It’s all about balance! 😂

[@anjejackson2253]

Actually 1.25 is perfect 😂

[@jess5909]

Good looking out for us ADHD girlies 😂

[@anissa2361]

​@@anjejackson2253 Yeah 1.5x was too fast, but 1.25x was perfect.

[@destined2bebossy]

Personally (and I think this is what Moira was getting at) I think sex positivity failed at the only way it could have been successful. Women are the "losers" when it comes to sex biologically and socially. We get pregnant, we're more prone to UTIs, etc. Yet we know women enjoy sex. The only way for "equality" would be socially and that didn't happen. If we stopped looking down on single mothers, stopped slut shaming, and decreased male violence on women then the movement would still be strong. The studies show that women enjoy sex but we are also able to find joy in other aspects of life. Thats the difference with men and women. Men took "sex positivity" as more sex instead of less shameful sex, so now women are like how about no sex.

[@milesfurther4395]

So true. The goal was to have sex for fun but while maintaining social structures that punish women for having sex for fun.

[@svmto]

Love this analysis! So true. I've never been able to orgasm with male partners...so what do I gain from sex nowadays?? Nothing!! And I can find pleasure and happiness in other aspects of my life!!

[@chayo4537]

If you're not even getting off how are you Enjoying sex.... sounds oxymoronic. Like enjoying the idea and fantasy of something and getting aroused. But when its actually time to get off. Its anticlimactic

[@kwhodostuff5504]

@@svmtosex is about more than just an orgasm, this is a dangerous idea to hold

[@lotusjumpingspider8761]

Great point, might i add causal heterosexual sex will always feels better for men on average based on our biology

[@Iamjustherek]

My first boyfriend tried to go for choking while we were intimate like it was so normal! No conversation or anything! I had to be like wtf are you doing?? Having porn be your sex Ed is messed up!

[@candyDREAMER]

I had a partner would choke me when we weren't being intimate. I tried to share with my friends that the choking was making me uncomfortable. My female friends would be like "choking how???" with a smirk on their face bc choking has been so normalized.

[@brownjaded]

Nah I’d rather be single ..

[@roxywyndham]

It’s not the choking that’s abnormal it’s the lack of consent and communication that’s abnormal and continue to be normalized.

[@leichaurellelux7547]

This the stuff right here and spitting into woman’s mouths and passing on HPV because they were not vaccinated as young teens.

[@leichaurellelux7547]

@@candyDREAMERwow 😢

[@338holly]

Ignoring sex education has consequences. Porn is not education, but people are scared to allow young people to learn age appropriate sex education. People are refusing to let kindergarteners learn consent because it makes adults uncomfortable. Collectively we've prioritized women and children being taught obedient over being safe.

[@338holly]

Sex positivity requires education. In this climate it was always going to fail because the authority wants control over autonomy and safety.

[@ladybug3380]

It seems like it’s easier to teach girls to be obedient than it is to teach boys self control and discipline.

[@leichaurellelux7547]

Facts, sex is a part of life and to shelter common sense as they age have them delayed. 😮

[@Jamhael1]

​@@ladybug3380 no - the problem is the MYSTIFICATION of sex. Just use the Dutch methodology, and stop the puritanical nonsense on sex and sexuality...

[@tretolien1195]

Bro why would you want kindergarteners to have sex education, it's completely irrelevant for them and they will forget and ignore everything you teach them anyways. If anything wait until the kids are in early/mid puberty, I believe most places at least in Europe have this mandated anyways.

[@kahlilbt]

Conservative thinking has left all our sex education to porn, ads, and movies smh.

[@UPPITYUNICORN]

I'm so personally proud of For Harriet. Braided up, big green chair kimberly, was so TINY, lol. You are an absolute thought leader, its an honor to have been on this journey with you for over a decade.

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

I’m so glad that you make content because I sincerely sometimes feel like this world is going crazy and there’s no one sane left. Then you go off and I’m not alone anymore. This country is sick.

[@chayo4537]

THE WORLD. BABY. THE WORLD.

[@jameel.world_]

She gathers me, cus phew this place, this world phew

[@AlitheaJ]

Congratulations on 14 YEARS!!!! Thank you for all the work you do and have done!!!

[@jjamerican93]

The Bumble ads were interesting to me, because the behaviors people exhibit on dating apps seem to have turned a lot of daters off to wanting to engage in intimacy with each other. You don’t know if someone is genuine, a scam artist, or a murderer. It’s something!

[@SapphicKnits]

I felt like the ads were very obviously playing off the half-joking conversations people, especially young women, have about being celibate. It was in poor taste, but I was surprised by the outrage because I've seen and had those types of bantering type conversations with the verbiage they used.

[@CadillacBoss30]

"You don't know if someone is genuine, a scam artist, or a murderer." That's literally offline or online. There is no venue in which that isn't true. That's the reality of touching grass and being outside.

[@jjamerican93]

@@SapphicKnitsI understood why women trying to date men in this day and age were outraged. Because now a lot of more articles, TikToks, etc are coming out now about the poor treatment they’re experiencing at the hands of men they’re just trying to get to know via dates that may lead to sex or longer-term romantic commitment. Certainly, dating has always had its ups and downs, but more people are speaking up about perpetual disrespect and mistreatment, and that will turn people off from the process. Bumble chose to put out the ads after they let men “make the first move” on their platform, and had no such ads aimed at encouraging them to be more respectful. So the company got caught reinforcing that their product is not acting within the best interest of women. Actions have consequences.

[@jjamerican93]

@@CadillacBoss30that doesn’t change the fact that dating apps exist to connect people, but don’t care to vet users at all. But they will gladly take your data and arrange the algorithms in such a way that people will feel compelled to keep swiping. Then they hold up the relatively small amount of users who do meet and delete them as “proof” that they work, when the majority of their users have no such luck. Feel free to carry the water of these corporations if you’d like, but a growing number of people are waking up to their nonsense. And fun fact: Bumble’s CEO met her oil exec husband on a ski trip with friends. 😉 Meeting in person has its pros and cons, but those unions tend to happen among people in similar circles. With the apps, the majority of folks tend to be genuine strangers, so the dynamic is undoubtedly different and likely more dangerous (especially for women trying to date men).

[@IshtarNike]

I've always wanted to know if the "murderer" angle is really as bad as people make it out to be. Surely the online sphere is no less safe than any stranger you meet at a bar, but somehow we act as if it's far more dangerous.

[@bonnieinlove]

$600 apartment almost took me out. Imagine!

[@user-z98lw4fm8t]

YES A ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT IS $500

[@ladygrey4113]

Gonna watch soon and I’m really hoping compulsory sexuality is brought up. Edit: I highly recommend reading the book, refusing compulsory sexuality

[@brandymercedez]

I just borrowed this book on Libby, thank you so much for the recommendation!!!!

[@ladygrey4113]

@@brandymercedez lucky! I had to borrow a copy from a friend. My library still doesn’t have it and I think I’m the only one who’s requested it

[@125loopy]

​@@ladygrey4113just pit it on hold in Libby. If you have a library membership, the app is super useful!

[@MISSMADISONMEDIA]

Learning that you graduated at 23 is so awesome!! I also took two years out of school and went back (plus switched my major) and I’ve been feeling so old and nervous I missed my time (silly I know but it’s real lol). It’s so crazy how American society convinces us that we should all be in a salary job with a house and a marriage by age 21. Thank you for sharing!

[@chayo4537]

Here we go name dropping america

[@Mariah203]

​@@chayo4537if the US is the society in which she resides, why would she mention another country?

[@izahra1997]

I'm in the late 20s, have not sexually explored much, which you said you didn't recommend, but hearing about the choking trend is like WTF, disheartening, and discouraging. This is infuriating

[@lauraigla6319]

You say you were getting off track with the choking commentary but consider this... the people in their mid 20s and 30s who are vowing celibacy were once teens who may very well have been participating in choking. Its no surprise people are opting out when violence is a prominent theme in sex

[@CamilleGrundy]

The choking to celibacy pipeline 😭

[@tripleb1960]

Lol ​@@CamilleGrundy

[@ladygrey4113]

2:29:11 now hold on a second. One I think folks are misunderstanding what sex positivity even is, people asserting they don’t want or are choosing not to have sex is not sex negativity. Sex negativity would be saying that you deserve consequences for sex or making negative comments to someone who says sex or some act isn’t for them. Also maybe read what compulsory sexuality is because “compulsory sex negativity” afaik isn’t a thing but compulsory sexuality is which I don’t think most folks who aren’t ace have actually learned about. Again read refusing compulsory sexuality by Sherronda j Brown or Watch some ace podcasts like the ace couple. Also there’s been plenty of smart aspec folks who have written about how purity culture is not anti-sex it’s pro-compulsory sex they approve of. If purity culture was anti-sex, asexual folks from religious communities wouldn’t have gotten the treatment they have including as severe as conversion therapy attempts

[@jjamerican93]

This! My sense is not that more women are choosing celibacy because they don’t want or desire sex, but rather the people they’re meeting that they could hypothetically have sex with are treating them poorly outside of the bedroom. Like even if two people met at a bar or club and ended up having a one night stand would be trying to act in openly seductive ways that would make sex a desirable next step. But ghosting, catfishing, outright sexism, etc is going to be a clear turnoff. It’s basic logic that seems to confuse people for whatever reason.

[@birdiewolf3497]

⁠@@jjamerican93right whatever pleasure you are getting from sex is not worth the degradation and dehumanization that you experience with male partners. Men still don’t see women as people. Sex positivity was about removing the shame and stigma surrounding female sexuality. The problem was that we were free to have sex with people that don’t see us as humans. There is a severe empathy gap. They have no problem lying and using our bodies. The issue overall is that as we got more rights and more freedom, we sort of forgot to address our material conditions. And we did not put enough emphasis on deprogramming thousands of years of patriarchal programming in men. Choice feminism and girlboss feminism was running a muck. And now we are finally arriving at a point where we are asking ourselves why are we engaging with men. What are we actually getting from this? And the answer is not much.

[@lilgorgo]

​@@birdiewolf3497 why aren't more women choosing to try out relationships with other women if the issue is being treated poorly by men?

[@birdiewolf3497]

@@lilgorgo This is a bizarre question that presents sexuality as something people can pick and choose. It also centers romantic relationships as the pinnacle of all relationships. As if people can’t live full lives without it. Meanwhile romance just recently became the dominant organizing principle of which partnership is formed.

[@lilgorgo]

@@birdiewolf3497 sorry if it's bizarre, just a thought. For context, I've always considered myself pansexual but have recently been reconsidering compulsory (hetero)sexuality and thinking about how much of sexuality is socially influenced and centered around cis men. I think everything is a lot more fluid under the surface and I understand women who say they choose to only have relationships with other women (romantic/sexual, platonic, business, etc). I support celibacy and unpartnered life, have been celibate for years and don't imagine myself entering a romantic partnership ever again. I'm used to being alone. But currently trying to piece out in myself whether this is rooted in possible asexuality, uncentered lesbianism, unhealed c-ptsd or general social relational issues and isolation. Wasn't trying to be weird. Just asking a sincere question, maybe projecting my own internal struggle here. Sorry again! Only curious and thinking out loud.

[@nhvkuy4675]

It's strangling, not chocking. And it's never ever safe!

[@lelz0394]

So sad, online many men commented saying how almost every girl they've been with enjoyed it. So many women love it :/

[@ambriaashley3383]

@@lelz0394seems like a p*rn fantasy for men. Like was she really into it, or did you just do it & she accepted it? It’s like how I heard men were just hitting women randomly during s*x a while back, to mixed results :/ insane

[@SamM32727]

@lelz0394 Men also think their female partners are not out here faking orgasms. Some studies found that up to 80% of heterosexual women fake orgasms with their male partners, so why would we just assume it’s true if a man says his female partner enjoyed the choking he did to her? So many more women report having been choked during sex non consensually than report enjoying being choked during sex. Men assuming they have consent to perform very dangerous acts on their partners and assuming women just love everything happening in the bedroom is a much bigger issue than the fact that some women enjoy a certain sex act.

[@MISSMADISONMEDIA]

Choking *

[@idk-ill-figure-smn-out]

Choking may not exactly be 100% safe, but feels REALLY good. Like, I damn near o'ed after being choked unconscious, though that experience also scared the shit outta me lol. Of course, I wouldn't recommend everyone do it, nor would I want to be choked/smothered too frequently or unprepared. It's one of those risky activities some people are just willing to do, like skydiving or doing 250ugs of "lakeshore drive". My point is that it's not for everyone, and what could be considered a fun experience for some might be a nightmarish scenario for others.

[@roxsie]

Getting het up is a colloquial British term. We've used it since the 14th century, and het is a shortening of heated.

[@sharonbaker3007]

Holy crappppp I’m folding my laundry at 2am…that Vox article! My poor kitty was wondering why I was repeating “NONONONONO!” The article’s content was justifying the far right’s talking points about what women are “supposed” to be/do/think/have rights to….absolutely infuriating. The problem is WE NEED SAFE LEGAL ABORTION AND CONTRACEPTION and there are ultra conservative people that want it to be 1934!!! We have to wake people up to the dangers ahead if the ultra right get what they want. TRANSWOMEN ARE WOMEN. Feminism requires abortion and birth control access, fertility care, as well as healthcare (mental health, addiction care too) generally, fully recognizing racism and educating everyone about how to reckon with its damage, REPARATIONS, paid parental leave, child/elder care, rights for Transwomen, Transmen, LGBTQIA people, full buy-in from masc-presenting people to end rape and sexual assault, equal rights in education, jobs (sex work is WORK), housing, retirement, and how about an end to capitalism while I’m at it! You know, FEMINISM. Ughhh it is 2024, not 1934!!! VOTING IS HARM REDUCTION. Happy Channelversary!💙💙💙

[@zainmudassir2964]

Derick Varn has pointed that on Federal level the Democrats have given up on abortion and immigration to appeal to conservative suburban voters. Vote Joe Biden out to stop Genocide in Palestine

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

Omg I just got to that part and I am SHOCKED! Like saying women enjoy the fear that a condom broke???? WHAT! It’s like they forget that AIDs is a thing and pregnancy isn’t the only risk from sex. Even people on birth control wear condoms! This is just shocking

[@yasinradee]

Interesting that all this revolves around pregnancy and not disease prevention. It seems that pregnancy is more of a concern than dis-ease. You're grown when u turn 40. Something clicks and the realization of years past and years ahead.

[@milesfurther4395]

At this point in history getting an untreatable disease is way less likely than getting pregnant

[@91toinfinity]

I'm from Canada and grew up in a traditional Indian family. I was conditioned to avoid men until it was time to get married. By the time I was ready to have sex in my mid-20s I knew so little about it I had sex with men that I shouldn't have. Reflecting on it years later, I had so much shame around having sex (I still do despite enjoying it...and I'm 32 years old). After a casual sexual experience, I will go into a depressive episode. Why? Because I was told a woman's only value was if she got married to ONE man. My hope with any potential sexual partner is that it will be long-term and when it doesn't, I feel "used". I know it's silly but these notions don't go away overnight, especially if you've been taught from a very young age what is expected of women. I should also say that any girl/woman who was having sex with multiple partners when I was younger was spoken of in a negative light (called a whore, slut, etc.). So that definitely had an impact on me too. I understand why some women avoid sex because there aren't reproductive rights and access to birth control, but there are just as many women who avoid it because of shame. All of them are rooted in a patriarchal belief system and need to be thrown out.

[@k.a.2241]

I love these terf arguments that use evo-psych and economic/wage gap agruments to describe why women lose when we engage in contraceptive use. 1. EVO psyc assumes that the same people who were clever enough to build whole societies, laws and structures are too stupid to control their impulses enough to use condoms, get vasectomies, or come up with technology to temporarily sterilize themselves during their horniest periods (20-30s). 2.The wage gap argument assumes that women step out of the home COMPELETELY. That is only an option for the 1% . Middle class and poor women have never been able to step out of the home and have always worked the second shift in the home. The opinion writer mixed apples and oranges in assuming that most women only valued wage labor in the workplace. I can't tell you how many women I know never remarried and remained single citing the labor of housework as one of the reasons.

[@sisuka6505]

It tracks as terfs having such a voice in the UK has been said to be a class thing. And evo-psych in general is just, oof. From the beginning, the first studies on flies where they made conclusions about men's biological need to spread the seed vs. women's choosiness, in fact if they would have looked at the data better, they would have found the first biological justification for female promiscuity.

[@user-bq2ko2tb2w]

But contraception can be harmful for women and is an issue in feminism. Its not about being transphobic to point out the disadvantages women face having the burden of contraception

[@CamilleGrundy]

I genuinely don’t understand the joking nature of the Bumble ad and was quite enraged. And now I feel like I/ we as a collective overreacted, but minimizing our response as an overreaction does not feel validating. Trying to level with this and I can’t help but to be annoyed by the ad 😭

[@jaluv42]

I don’t think the ad was that deep. They’re simply trying to keep women on their platform and thought addressing the “celibate” hyperbole that some women do joke about would help that.

[@measrala]

"More access to ideas dangerous to women & ppl with uterus, and less institutial ability to push back. " 38:35 !!!!! So important. It feels like a whole generation is being groomed to normalise extreme violence, as were we but in a different way

[@tinamenon1593]

👏

[@chayo4537]

People with uterus?

[@mickiemallorie]

As a parent it's not that we don't believe in our kids...it's that we fear for their safety and want what we think is best for them. Often this is what we deem is the safest route, the surest bet, the most common/tread path - we know we won't be there forever and so just want to KNOW they will be okay. It takes a lot out of us as parents to sit quietly as our nerves burning hot watching our kids step out of a limb...regardless of any one individual's success, failure is most common. You stuck it out, but many break down and fall apart. So much of success is based on God's blessing (or what some may call luck). When I was younger I might be like "yeah, you go girl"...but as a parent now, I feel like I get the Mamas and Pops out there. Its nice to be there when our kids fail...but honestly, we don't want them to fail...we just want know they will be okay. Congratulations!

[@deborahbell-theobservantch3759]

Bravo for 14 years of hard work! You're an inspiration, thank you for your channel, please keep on keeping on❤ I'm trying to read more efficiently, but usual suspects (modern distractions!) do not help! Could you please share tips that could help some of us with that? Thanks a mil, cheers to the next decades of fabulosity!!!

[@Tuvella1]

As an European I'd like to add that UK is fucking weird compared to the rest of Europe. UK's history around feminism is also pretty strange and completely alien to me as a Northener (Though obviously every country has its own culture, Northern Europe also has indigenous Sami and East and West Europe can have a pretty complicated relationship since West Europeans can be pretty full of themselves nd even exploit the East)

[@chayo4537]

Yes it is. Yall should get to the bottom of your history and figure how you guys are instead of focusing on America and what got going on?

[@chayo4537]

A lot of you guys FOREIGNERS. Especially the british have a disconnect and ignorance when it comes to your own history. Its really strange. But you have all this energy for america as if you're us! 😂 🎉❤ its incredible and stalkerish

[@weightedtraininggear]

​@@chayo4537 Why are you so bitter in the replies of random people just saying they're watching or agreeing with her?

[@mahastover]

I think the difference in the US about unmarried parents not staying together is…. There are more protections for people in Europe, healthcare etc. I think kids can really stop your productivity which is an important in a struggling economy/ system in general… if you choose to be an absent parent then you’re increasing your chances of being more successful. Europeans don’t have as many hurdles to jump to simply survive. Not justifying anyone’s actions though…. Abandoning a child for your own personal gain is nasty work.

[@selenadesanti4920]

Wow.. you talking about how you got here in the beginning of the video was so inspiring!! As someone who just started her own business, I really appreciate you sharing. Especially the part about knowing when you started that you would be successful. That’s powerful!

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

Moral: gotta get paid before you can get laid

[@ladygrey4113]

29:12 or the more likely idea in my opinion as an ace woman is more when women are realizing that they’re asexual and faulter having a problem with it because people always have a problem with whatever sexual decision a woman makes even when she is just saying I’m not interested

[@leichaurellelux7547]

33:04 I can understand clearly why this generation is holding out on being sexual liberated. A pregnant woman is more at risk of a high risk pregnancy due to stress and conditions. At risk for baby having mental illness due to not knowing both family history of ADHD or spectrum and the support it takes to raise those types of humans. Society policies in the school system and social media mess. The male may be ordered to pay child support however, he is not forced or may not even have what it takes to co parent properly. Or deny the child and cannot afford out of pocket DNA testing and can give a pregnant woman a traumatic experience the entire duration of the pregnancy. So many obstacles and variations due to not choosing knowledge and marriage before having a kid should you live a regular life vs trying to do what celebrities or very affluent single people are doing because they live above the average income and have above average RESOURCES to help support a child as a single parent. Most young adults are delayed in maturity having education does not make you a responsible parent because you read write and recite. Most young adult cannot comprehend or have cognitive dissonance and too much family, religion and social dictated indoctrination. And severely, uniformed on about 80% of reality fact base life skills and resources in their states. ❤ Perhaps!

[@Frosting1000]

it seems like the failure of sex positivity and the overturn of roe vs wade is leading to culture turning back to some weird neoconservative movement

[@takishaedwards273]

Congratulations!!!! Thank you for all the wonderful work that you do! Your channel has always been a wonderful place for serious discussion and thought

[@ishaw500]

I’m locked in with my morning coffee, from London ❤ 😉 So glad that you continued with For Harriet, I remember when I came across the platform and then others came up too

[@chayo4537]

The british stay watching 😉 i thought the world doesnt revolve around america. And yet it kinda does!

[@robbiep.5497]

Listening while on my morning walk. Your content and contributions are soo appreciated Kim ❤️

[@JourneyWoman11]

Involved aunty life is extremely important. I support your decision and appreciate this think piece.

[@Jgotmilk555]

I think your content is absolutely brilliant!! Thanks for the great content! I always feel a little more enlightened after each video! Cheers. :)

[@e-freind]

There can be both a culture/society that values care and caregiving whilst still allowing birth control like wtf are these British ppl talking about ??!? 🥴🥴 Also when you’re a college graduate and a low wage worker 😢

[@siako8112]

i could be so wrong, but my understanding of griswold was that it was a matter of contraceptives to married couples.

[@luxquaesitor]

Both women and men caused this situation in which we are in but it always seems to be blamed on men instead of both parties taking accountability for their flaws

[@justjess6636]

I appreciate all of your hard work.

[@justjess6636]

You're bringing up so many good points.

[@ladygrey4113]

34:02 many of these women talking about voluntary celibacy give me the impression they may be on the ace spectrum and just never learned about asexuality. Some of these women I’ve noticed said something to the degree of “I never really enjoyed sex much” or “I’ve never been happier” (might mean you’re an ace Harry). Another thing is folks don’t get romantic attraction isn’t the same thing as sexual attraction

[@katfujioka212]

I think a lot more women than it seems don’t enjoy sex as much as they could, or don’t feel a need to have sex. Hypersexuality can also be a trauma response!

[@taii_chii6782]

I don’t think so. The orgasm gap in cis het couples is quite high indicating a lot of women aren’t engaging in enjoyable sexual activity. The rise in celibacy is due to that and other factors. It’s not that difficult to refrain from sexual activity when men aren’t that great in bed or in general

[@julin8597]

There are people who want to enjoy sex but don't for one reason or another. I attended a tantric sex talk and it was aonderful; it addressed shame, body image, health, past trauma, heartbreak, trust, I felt like a weight was lifted. There is also a health expert who helps women who have pain, discomfort, inflexibility during sex and with time have gone on to enjoy it, again this is something they wanted. Also boundaries, consent, safety and aftercare is so important. I am learning so much and so grateful.

[@chayo4537]

​@@taii_chii6782if there's an orgasm gap. Than why are women contradicting THAT by saying they enjoy sex. Its an oxymoron/contradiction. How do you enjoy something you dont get any relief or achievement in. your orgasm!

[@EyesOpenLegsClosed]

@@taii_chii6782 It is probably a bit of both. Asexuality exists and could stand more awareness, orgasm gap exists and could use some awareness. 30% of straight women reach orgasm and 83% of lesbians do, so there is a lot of room for men to be better lovers. "both men and women reported that men are typically not concerned with women's pleasure in hookups, but both reported that men are very attentive to women's pleasure in relationships" Refraining from hookups looks very rational with the risks of pregnancy, STD's and dating violence as they are, the orgasm rate and attentiveness so low, plus they way men gossip about and shame women who have a lot of hookups. That is why I am not surprised casual sex has decreasd so much more than committed sex.

[@MrTwentington]

Ok I’m so glad you asked wtf is up with British feminists being very conservative! Because I’m a British white cis gay guy who supports feminism and is interested in topics surrounding intersectionality- it’s why I am subscribed to this channel. And you can’t not notice that trend of white feminists in the uk who have conservative views about sex and gender (and a hatred of trans people). I don’t even want to waste time with “not all!” Because while it isn’t all… there is enough for it to be noticeable overseas and for us to have a reputation for it here. So I wondered why? What is it about white people of a certain age who use some kind of progressive label while spouting conservative ideas? Like it’s not even just women it’s pretty common for white middle age middle class British men who were aligned with punk in the 70s/80s to now buy into conservative standards and admonish criticism from younger people on the basis they call themselves punk still so therefore what they and do must always be the hard truth. And to throw it back to Rowling she has very recently spotted a t shirt on her twitter that says “terf is the new punk” Finally I got to talking with a friend in America who is a trans woman about this topic- she frequently asks wtf is up with your country? And between the two of us we looked up some thinkpieces- the general conclusion seems to be that *white feminism* as we know it does exist most everywhere in the west often buys into conservative ideas- it is in America too. But it flourishes in the UK, more than in the US because of the lack of diversity. It’s not that we don’t have racial diversity here but it’s treated different to how it is in America. Like the UK really loves to pretend it’s not racist when it is and this can be in a dismissive and divisive way by design. It ignores our undeniable part in anti black racism as if it’s more of an American issue, it separates Asian people as if they are other to white British people or conditionally British and dismisses their religions and traditions and views as inherently anti lgbtq and anti woman (ignoring anyone who is both Asian and lgbtq/a woman/a feminist). So the middle aged Lisa Simpsons of the uk get to believe they are the most progressive learned leftists who have nothing new to learn no other sides to consider beyond what matters to them. And they do this by dismissing and ignoring whatever may complicate their views that serve them. And that’s how this little island gets known as terf island by… some of the worst subsections of radicalised white British feminists.

[@chayo4537]

Why are you british people always watching us? 😂 i thought the world doesnt revolve around us? And yet- YOU OUTSIDERS just cant seem to stop watching us if you tried. Try 😂 lol. Youre a white guy british guy watching black women and american culture 😂 typical. Get in line with the rest of them ❤😂

[@chayo4537]

Ive always known the british aint shit. But you have the audacity and entitlement to be so attached and fixated on america and what we got going on but nothing to say about your damn self. Its very weird. You have bigger fish to fry

[@user-bq2ko2tb2w]

I think because a lot of women find trans rights arent always compatible with womens rights which is a fair opinion to have. Also women are being fucked over by society and are allowed to put themselves first.

[@user-bq2ko2tb2w]

There is also a huge amount of misogny within liberal politics and the lgbt community

[@charlie0319]

Congratulations on 14 years! You have been one of my favorite KZbin channels for year now. :)

[@darkshines81]

Thank you for all the work!

[@monsefma8023]

I forgot how great your content is

[@JDuece2009]

Congratulations! You still look amazing and your content is awesome and #Needed

[@Slm99]

I still don't know how much impact the 4b movement is having since most Koreans don't know about or haven't talked about it so I have issues with the first article.

[@fionadebrah3308]

Congratulations Kim🎉🎉

[@Lucismyname]

After all that, the answer is to leave your life in health in someone else's hands.

[@floortjepeace]

I think birth control is actually part of anti-capitalist thinking, considering women were seen as breeders tasked with generating the future workforce (Federici writes about this).

[@AnnyKeyz]

❤

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Louise Perry is just Phyllis Schlafly with an English accent and slightly modernized.

[@charlybrown5264]

💯💯💯

[@Chulita1935]

No audio

[@ladygrey4113]

2:32:08 also that’s a fault of countries wanting to refuse immigrants.

[@goddessnoir290]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@MyTruth1771]

So why not have Harrington on and grill her?

[@ForHarriet619]

I’m not interested in grilling her. But after I read the book, I will reach out to her and see if she’s interested in a conversation.

[@MyTruth1771]

​@ForHarriet619 I'd love to see it. You're the first Black person I've seen to engage any of these popular British reactionary feminist.

[@SamM32727]

Im sorry but what? The choking conversation is ridiculous. I have been in kink spaces for almost a decade and choking is widely regarded in kink spaces as edge play where the advice is basically to not do it. Also, all of those communities are 18+ and most are 21+, so exactly does education on the topic apply to teenagers? Come on now.

[@ForHarriet619]

It applies to teenagers because teenagers say they're doing it.

[@SamM32727]

@@ForHarriet619 yes! Of course. I meant that comment about education on the topic. I think it’s ridiculous to say teenagers are receiving education on safe choking practices. Apologies if my original comment wasn’t clear.

[@keepingitkianatural]

Porn normalizes niche sexual behaviors and teens and younger people are watching it.

[@catchinzzs7022]

24:31 - THE BIG THREE

[@catchinzzs7022]

23:49.- Video starts

[@lindsaylindsay4884]

So y’all are still saying porn is still a net good ?

[@miriammm1312]

4b is a small fringe movement in korea, its also extremely transphobic

[@MyTruth1771]

The British femenists understand the destruction done to the social fabric and how that destruction actually harms society including, ofcourse, women and children. Ive listened to 4 or 5 of their lectures at length, and they bring up important insights.

[@shizzlemywizzle1]

Yeah but I mean a man’s perspective on what does and doesn’t constitute as feminist means very little lol

[@MyTruth1771]

@@shizzlemywizzle1 it does if it means you need men's votes to enact feminist legislation or prevent counter feminist legislation and politicians from being elected.

[@keepingitkianatural]

​@MyTruth1771 that's just patriarchy baby. We don't need to be reminded that we have to appeal to our oppressors for our rights. We know.

[@MyTruth1771]

@keepingitkianatural no, that's democracy. Men get to vote also.

[@chayo4537]

British women don't understand a damn thang! Thats why they convalute with us american women and our energies. But hey .... america and england are best friends. Always have been in cohoots

[@purrcatharsis]

Federici is now a full-on terf and sadly even her older work has all the flaws of 2nd wave / radfem.

[@lindsaylindsay4884]

Human being will find reasons to be unhappy about things that’s not the fault of marriage that’s people. Do you genuinely think women as a whole are happier than women 50 years ago ?

[@ranbummerz729]

Yes...

[@MISSMADISONMEDIA]

I genuinely think we are. We won’t ever reach a point where EVERYONE is happy, but generally speaking, yes I do think women are overall happier nowadays

[@lindsaylindsay4884]

@@MISSMADISONMEDIA out of interest what are you guys basing that on ? I’m not disagreeing but just interested ?

[@lisa-lisa-lisa]

@@lindsaylindsay4884 just in my own family - my great grandmother couldnt get a divorce because her husband was the judge. my grandmother was preyed on in HS by a grown man who got her pregnant and no one thought it was that bad as long as she married him. my mother always felt like a failure because she got divorced. none of these women were happy or free.

[@chayo4537]

​@@ranbummerz729youre lying to yourself. Youre clearly not satisfied and something is missing.

[@user-z98lw4fm8t]

DEAR GEN Z....DO NOT GET NEW TEETH! THAT IS ALL....

[@08Davis2]

❤