Not a sacrifice, childfree by choice | Why I don’t want to have kids and such things - Part 1

[@lasyaborra766]

@Sourabha Rao It's so refreshing to see Indian women having a different perspective on having kids. As a fellow nature and wildlife lover, I totally agree with you on promoting equal life prospects for all living beings, you've said everything that I ever wanted to say. I've always known that I don't want kids in my life. As a 25year old single woman, I find it really frustrating to make my parents understand my perspective on being childless. Though I try to explain my rationale to them, they just disapprove it thinking I'm mad or selfish. This has been a barrier for me to find a good partner who also want to be childless. Anyways thanks for the video!

[@SourabhaRao]

Dear Lasya, I’m so moved to see someone who has not misinterpreted my points of view to their convenience and their context and their choices. And I’m very sorry that you have and still are subjected to unpleasantness because of others’ lack of depth in accepting others’ choices as equally valid as our own. I sincerely pray for better response towards your thoughts from people you’re surrounded by and who matter to you. You are so young and so full of possibilities, and you sound so much more composed than I could ever be, that I have faith you’ll navigate through this with an unflinching integrity until it all becomes more pleasant. May all good things waft into your life. And how utterly amazing it is to find someone who can go beyond the human world and understand the equal right that a WORLD of non-human life exists on this planet. We’re still so worried only about our species as if only we exist. Breaks my heart, this blindness, this ignorance. May you live by your choices and my you always be happy whether or not others agree with you. I’m with you, always, in spirit, whatever it is that you choose. Stay in touch. I wish you beauty, light and joy. Always.

[@melindaharrington6632]

Lasaya - I’m glad you are sticking to what you want and don’t want. Your parents need to respect your wishes and life. To them you are childless. To us in the Childfree Community your Childfree by choice. There is a difference. I wish you well on having a partner that also is Childfree for life. 7.12.22.😎

[@lasyaborra766]

​@@SourabhaRao Firstly, thanks for your kind words! I've not checked that you replied to my comment. I think you're the only person until now, by far who's understood my thoughts. I cannot say how relieving I felt after reading your comment. I know right, the audacity of us, humans to think that only our species is superior to all the other billion species and only care about human suffering. We're here to co-exist with the nature, all other species and damn clearly we're not doing it. Only if animals and trees had their voice, we'd understand the tragedy they're going through because of us. It breaks my heart too, so I've turned into a vegan and trying not contribute to this madness. Yeah, being childless is everything but selfish, humans are no where near to extinction; it's rather the opposite. But when we see some news about a bird being extinct, we don't give a damn shit. And in the end, being childless doesn't mean you'll die alone, there's always an option to adopt a child and give the poor kid's life a meaning, which is so much better. I hope people understand this and stop bothering about childless people. Yes, let's please stay in touch, I already see a friend in you. Thank you again for making this video. Please don't bother about any hateful comments that you might get.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@lasyaborra766 Such wise words, and spoken with such composure, Lasya. Thank you so much for your kindness. I agree with everything you’ve said, especially about our ignorant apathy towards the non-human world which is much, much bigger than our little human trivialities. And how sweet of you to say what you’ve said in the end. Nothing connects people better than honest conversations and I guess that is what has brought so many of us together, albeit virtually. Take care and be happy. Wish you immense beauty and love. 💗💗

[@the_browneyed_wordslinger1625]

Mine also disapprove saying that is it only your responsibility to save the environment. And i just roll my eyes🤕

[@BeingHumane173]

As you said, it's so sad to see so many girls even in today's date and age literally forced into marriage by their parents and marriage given primary precedence in a girl's life over everything else. I think it should be criminal to force a woman into marriage.

[@SourabhaRao]

It's inhuman to force anyone into marriage, man or woman. And you are very right about marriage being made the most important thing in life as if there's nothing else to living. Haha. So sad and even hilarious. I guess every individual has to stand their ground strong and choose to do whatever makes them happy. Let's just hope that it begins with financial independence, which is very important to carve out one's own path. Thank you so much for watching and responding. :-)

[@theemotionalremix]

Man it's hard finding a woman like you as I too am surrounded by people who have adopted conservative views of living. Women like you are heroes.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you very much for your time and response. But May we find the strength to not succumb to the conservative, limiting ways of life. I wish you the best. 🙏🏼🙏🏼😊

[@orchid3611]

I'm 19F. It's so refreshing to see people with same thoughts as me. Gonna be childfree and explore the world. More power to you.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you, dear not-so-stranger heart. More power to you, too! 😊🙏🏼

[@BeingHumane173]

Motherhood is a choice, Not an Obligation. Women don't owe this world or anyone any kid/kids, no matter what. Society must stop bugging women for kids. Its every woman's personal choice. I am a man, and i don't want any kids. There are many reasons, but one of the most important one is childbirth is just horrific and I am scared of childbirth. I do not want to reproduce at the expenses of another human's pain. Anyways, thanks for the video !

[@SourabhaRao]

I understand your fear, but I guess some people find it beautiful, which I hope is their truth. :-) But it is amazing to hear from a man that he does not want to reproduce at the expenses of another human's pain! So rare to hear this. And yes, a woman has to go through so much whereas it's only about depositing sperm for a man. May more men realise this and respect the woman's choice about birthing not birthing a child. Thank you again for your positive interaction.

[@love__and__hope__]

What is point of having girlfriend if man don’t want kids or she is selfish and don’t make them for him?

[@SourabhaRao]

@@love__and__hope__ A girlfriend does not exist to “make kids for her man”. We are not living in Stone Age. Also, there are so many women who WANT children. May you find one of them. Leave those women who don’t want to have kids alone. Thank you.

[@swiitdoll]

@@SourabhaRao men make it their mission to try to change my mind to want kids. Then lament I used them when I break it off. They don’t want those women who want kids, but make it their mission to try to bully childfree women into having kids. Something about our choice bothers them. I wonder why

[@SourabhaRao]

@@swiitdoll Thank you for writing, dearie. Perhaps it’s better to discuss these things before hand. It’s easy for men to talk about having babies, all they have to do is deposit sperm! Besides, even if there was equal work in having a child, it is still an individual choice. No one can force us to have OR not have a child. I’d simply stay away from anyone that pushes their agenda down my throat, either way, for that matter. I guess their lamentation is their problem. It takes a lot of humility to exercise humanity in such cases. Let’s hope for the best and continue to stand our ground strong in our choices. I wish you all the best. Love from India.

[@mistersingleoutlaw859]

I am a childfree guy from Senegal, West Africa. It's very hard being childfree here as having babies is considered as a norm. Anyway I will never change my mind just to cope with social norms.

[@SourabhaRao]

So happy to see this comment! Thank you so much for your strength and sensibility! I wish you all the peace and happiness no matter what your choices are.

[@SHEETAL0405]

So refreshing to listen to your video...i am 36yrs old happily married. We both as a couple have also decided to be Childfree, but the society in India is still not open to this concept n thought. When i listen to people like you speak on this issue n choice feels so good 💗

[@SourabhaRao]

Dear Sheetal, thank you very much for watching and responding so warmly. There’s only one life and it’s too short to not have a good time no matter what personal choices we make. Let’s make the most of every day, child or no child, single or married. May the hypocrisy around us never have the strength to deter us from being who we are. Love to you from Bengaluru. 😊💗

[@SHEETAL0405]

@@SourabhaRao more power to us n everyone who is like minded ...let's live to the fullest n enjoy each day ... Love from Namma Bengluru too 💓💓

[@JaySingh-ju9fd]

Society in india is hypocritical. Ppl can stand to force you to get marry and get children but will not stand for the person( one who got married on their force or advice) if he or she faces any problem in life Gyan dene sab aayenge but madad koi ni karega and then we say we worship god.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@JaySingh-ju9fd Correct. Let’s do our best without crumbling under pressures. Wish you the best, always. 🙏🏼🙂

[@PrincessVybz]

I’m a 27 yo African woman and I have the same exact sentiments as you. I sometimes waiver back and forth but regardless if I do have children I know I want to wait until I’m in my 30’s. People in my community just don’t understand this way of thinking but honestly I don’t care. It’s my life to live and I’m going to do it how I see fit 🤷🏽‍♀️ the comments do get exhausting though.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you so very much for sharing your experience, love. Yes, the comments can be exhausting but I love, love, love the conviction in your voice about living our only one and glorious life as WE ourselves deem fit. I’m with you on this. Always. Stay in touch. Love from India. 😊💗

[@neverdowifeydutiesatgirlfriend]

As a Ghanaian my self...am 31 and I don't want kids nor do I want to get married..( I know am a very "selfish "person that dont like to answer to anyone and always want to do what i want )and thats every Africans nightmare...I told my dad he's got almost 14grandkids from my siblings so he's not missing out on mine

[@SourabhaRao]

@@neverdowifeydutiesatgirlfriend Haha, like that word selfish in double quotes! With you on this, sir. And thank you very much for watching the video and responding. 🙏🏼 Best wishes to you from India. 😊

[@swiitdoll]

I’m Nigerian and 27. The pressure to marry is crazy. I don’t wanna marry or have children. I want to travel the world. 11 countries so far. Travelling again in 5 days. I’m going to start lying to people I have infertility issues so they can leave me alone

[@neverdowifeydutiesatgirlfriend]

​@@swiitdoll tell them u are a widow and you and your husband didn't have kids..😂

[@danielshadowens9063]

To having a child to have someone take care of you when you get old: 1. Most kids disrespect and care little for their parents. 2. There are a lot of 40 yr olds relying on their parents still. 3. Most of us will not see old age before we leave this earth through, nuclear war, famine, pestilence, civil war, etc. I love children so much I don't want to see them suffer in this horrible world.

[@SourabhaRao]

That last thing you said, Daniel. It breaks my heart. And yes, although there are exceptions, I agree with you on the other things, too. Thank you for watching and responding. 🙏🏼

[@danielshadowens9063]

Thank you. Came from the heart.

[@samyuktaashokkrishnan6986]

It's so nice to see a fellow Indian woman express a similar view about the childfree life. I've come across more than one childfree channel and know feel reassured that I'm not alone and that there's nothing abnormal about not wanting kids. All my life, growing up, I was told that getting married and having children are "part of life" and "normal", which they are but I've just never believed that they are the only way to go. There are different paths in life, and they all have their place in society. I'm 29, single and childfree by choice.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you so much for watching and responding so warmly, Samyukta. I’m glad we’re indeed not alone in our seemingly unconventional choice(s). We are all told to be a certain way in life, especially us girls, and especially about marital relationships and birthing children. But you’re absolutely right about all the paths being valid; to each her own. 😊 I wish you all the very best in your life and send you my best from Bengaluru. 😊

[@samyuktaashokkrishnan6986]

@@SourabhaRao Thanks so much! Same to you.

[@arunshankars8398]

There is nothing wrong in going childfree. Congratulations!

[@Businessesofbharat]

i have recently made a concious decision to not have kids . i just dont want them . i dont have the kind of energy and time they need . i have better things to do

[@SourabhaRao]

Amen to that. And I’m with you. That’s all I am trying to share with some people - for some, kids are a better choice and for some of us, other passions and loves we have for other things are a better choice. Nothing is bad or nothing is good. It is what it is. Thank you for resonating with this. 🙏🏼😊

[@sscgbr73]

I loved the part around 5:50. I’ve always thought it was so hypocritical to be so comfortable openly talking about something that’s a result of sex, but to have a problem talking about sex itself.

[@SourabhaRao]

Exactly. It’s as laughable as it is hypocritical. So glad you could connect. 🙏🏼😊

[@JaySingh-ju9fd]

I am 32 and still don’t hv child and don’t want , in next 10 years we gonna face too much problems in terms of basic needs n natural resources

[@SourabhaRao]

With you on this, Mr. Jay Singh. Thank you for watching and responding. 😊

[@mikafiltenborg2291]

I'm 50 yo and have No Kids. And I like to be alone.!!

[@SourabhaRao]

Love from Bengaluru, India. Thank you for your response. 🙂

[@KateeAngel]

👍 I am 28 years old and childfree

[@SourabhaRao]

Respect your choice, Kate. And thank you for responding. 🙏🏼💗

[@gukakmakuk]

you are absolutely right about an overpopulated planet with a gloomy future around the corner, I am 70 years old, married to a woman who didn´t have the slightest intention to have children, we are happy and don´t regret not having had children

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you very much for reaching out. For your time, that must have scandalised a lot of people because it still is a choice that does so even today, unfortunately. So glad to have heard from you. Wish you both more happiness. Love from India. 🙏🏼

[@gukakmakuk]

@@SourabhaRao i f you are absolutely convinced (as I was)You don´t want children in your life, don´t let others influence you othrwise, greetings from Colombia ,south america

[@SourabhaRao]

@@gukakmakuk Of course not, sir. My love for nature and wildlife (I work for wildlife conservation) is far too greater than any temptations of the human world. Thank you so very much for your support. 😊🙏🏼

[@gukakmakuk]

@@SourabhaRao that is great(your job), you are a very good looking woman and your english is outstanding

[@SourabhaRao]

@@gukakmakuk Thank you for your kind words, sir. 🙏🏼

[@dibbyo456]

I’m 25M single decided not to have child although I do wanna get married someday if I find the one. What you told are the same reasons for me too.

[@SourabhaRao]

Wish you the best, Harry. May you find a partner who shares same dreams and values.

[@oceania4681]

Reduce world population, reduce worldly problems!

[@SourabhaRao]

Amen.

[@leokoshy4585]

I'm 34 single and continue to... last sat I saw a man who was standing with a kid that was crying and on the other hand his wife constantly arguing with him for some reason poor man just gazed at me with as if he wanted to scream from within: Why the hell did I get married. Man I could make out from his facial expression what's he was going through. Me on the other hand thanking god that I choose to remain single and went to buy some beers😂

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your response, Leo. Unfortunately, I’ve actually heard from some parents that they have indeed regretted having a child and in some cases, more than one child. That breaks my heart. To see a child that was not wanted is one of the saddest things. I respect your choice. 🙏🏼 Have a great life! Enjoy an extra beer for me! 😊 Cheers!🍻

[@kanikagaral7637]

I know close friend and family and coeorkers who have same feelings but some of them will still ell u get married its the best what else will u do when r old.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@kanikagaral7637 Such selfish reasons to do anything at all in life. Sad…

[@kanikagaral7637]

@@SourabhaRao tell me about it. I mean i can see that you are clearly u happy and miserable but u still suggest i should do the same is just sadistic not selfish

[@SourabhaRao]

@@kanikagaral7637 Haha. Amen. I am totally with you on this. 💗

[@ssg5649]

I decided to be childfree 5 yrs back and instead of bearing a child i'll go for adoption.But in this stigmatic indian society even the educated men think and afraid that if they were childfree this society will lable them as infertile or abnormal beings.I'm a woman and i find it hard to find a life partner who would match my interest of not having a child.When this society will normalise being childfree too is a normal thing like any other woman who wants to have kids?For this decision so many people called me as selfish.I love kid but that kid doesn't have to share my genes and blood to be loved😢.I feel relieved on watching this video atleast someone is thinking like me.Thanks for the content and bless u a good life ahead

[@SourabhaRao]

I have immense respect for those who wish to and do indeed adopt. It’s sad how so many of us remain so backward in terms of humanity no matter what we claim to be as a society. But I truly hope you don’t let these useless people deter your kindness and generosity, stranger friend. And I hope you find enough strength to adopt a child whether or not a partner agrees to it, so many women do this on their own, especially when they are financially independent. I’m sorry I don’t know much about your situation, but whatever it is, I wish you great strength to live the only life we have on your own terms and not care about whatever the hell “people” have to say about it. We can ‘normalise’ this for ourselves and not wait for someone else or random people to do so. Glad you could relate. Thank you for watching and responding so kindly. Wish you the best, always. 🙏🏼💗

[@parulgupta788]

So amazing to see Indian women making this choice!!

[@SourabhaRao]

Not easy in hypocritical situations, but we only live once. Thank you for resonating with this, Parul. 😊💗🙏🏼

[@suebotchie4167]

Not surprised, considering the way most men treat women :/

[@raquel7123]

For Indians and Africans, it has to be tough to choose a child-free life coz of your culture.

[@SourabhaRao]

It is because of the rather “misinterpreted” ideas of culture and hypocrisy. Unfortunate. Thank you for watching and responding though.

[@harshsaini761]

Kudoz to all childfree and antinatalist couples in India , People here judge a lot, I always thought about it why people make babies from a very young age and as a 20 years old I decided to not have my own biological children's, Such videos make me happy and I don't feel like I am the only one here.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your time and kind response, Harsh. Always glad to meet people with similar understanding. Kudos to you, too, and I wish you the very best. And yes, I guess so many of us are not really alone no matter what experience or vision it is. We just have to find our tribe.

[@muffettuffet8253]

having kids doesn't guarantee they will care for you lol

[@SourabhaRao]

Haha, so true! It’s just a delusion some parents seem to have. 🤦🏻‍♀️😁

[@drc4168]

You found a guy who doesn't want kids?? Keeper!!! And yes, the guy should also take an active role in safe, healthy sex, its 2022, couples do stay together for life when they enjoy a happy life of intimacy and fun. I knew at 20 I didn't want kids, at 40, I never changed my mind, kudos to you. PS I'm also Indian :)

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your response and time. It’s not a guy’s choice to “expect” his woman to want a child FOR him. 😊 It is great that I found a guy who never wanted a child, yes, but a man does not get special credit for not wanting a child. 😊 Neither should a woman. I mean, the whole point is to make being childfree a “normal” choice that no one makes a fuss about “finding” someone who wants or does not want something. 😊 If he is a keeper, so am I. 😊

[@drc4168]

@@SourabhaRao that you're a keeper is a given, hun! I'm saying, I and my generation women (around 8 - 10 years older than you) achieved adulthood and independence before social media and Internet liberation. Many horrible men tried to take advantage of me, hardly any cared for contraception, they all wanted to find a woman to marry to please their parents, give them grandchildren etc. A man who doesn't do that to a woman is rare that's all I'm saying, certainly in my conservative small minority religion in early millennium India. I'm a feminist but without feminist men, we are less better off!

[@SourabhaRao]

@@drc4168 Totally agree with you. He for she, as they say. I am sorry that you indeed had it worse than us. But it is still a long battle I guess. May more women AND men join us. Thank you again for making time to watch and respond, that you found this conversation worth your time. Means a lot to me. 😊🙏🏼💗

[@drc4168]

@@SourabhaRao I loved every minute of it. You're incredibly articulate and clear - and spirited. Keep on speaking out on behalf of those of us who couldn't/can't/won't xxxx

[@SourabhaRao]

@@drc4168 I still dream of a world where everyone of us learn the humility and grace and love to respect one another’s choices just as we would our own. 💗 Could sound like impossible hope or blind optimism, but with humans like you around, I do dare dream so. 💗

[@curvycalories9428]

There is no talk about mental health, there is no talk about financial health, there is no talk about personal growth and passion of life. Its just sad.

[@SourabhaRao]

Totally agree. So many of us are hypocrites and sadly, one day, life ends that way and so many of us would not have lived half of the true life our inner voice keeps telling us to live. Hope we try our best not to fall under that category. Thank you for your response. 😊🙏🏼

[@laylarahman11]

I've never heard this one reason, but the reason for me is, I don't want to be bound to one man for the rest of my life. No, not because I wanna sleep around, but because today's culture is highly psychopathic and you literally should not trust people. I wouldn't wanna be bound to someone just because of a kid. And divorce is not an option.

[@SourabhaRao]

I understand. And I wish you happiness no matter what choices or what reasons behind those choices are. Thank you for watching and responding. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@Lilaliba88]

You make good points here. Bottom line is that every woman should have a choice and no one should be forced to marry and have kids because other people think "it's time". And it's absolutely selfish wanting kids to be our caretakers when we're old. My perspective (as a mother) is rather the opposite: I wanted my kid to be able to take care of someone as long as I live. I can say I have a dream career as a classical musician and it has truly fulfilled me, but I am also aware that I won't stay young forever and when I am not on the peak of my abilities anymore(probably after my 50s), I still want to keep creating a meaningful life by supporting my own kid in achieving a fulfilling life. As for global overpopulation, sadly it's true. Yet as China also knows very well, less offspring means less financial support potential for the elderly: if every couple decides to remain childfree or to have max. one child, there is virtually no possibility to fund the retirement of old people on the long run. These are some counter arguments not to convince anyone to have kids, but to look at things as complex as deciding whether to have kids or not (and why) in different perspectives. Lastly, it's not that hard to travel with a little kid/baby, it just requires a bit more space. What is really hard is to travel with multiple kids. Having a single kid is some sort of compromise, to be honest. I still have most of the freedom of a childless person, yet I have still experienced the endless and unconditional love a child brings into the family❤️ DISCLAIMER: these are only my opinions based on experience. Being a parent is great. Not being a parent is also great. But we all have to be reasonable. Social pressure is real. And it's bad.

[@SourabhaRao]

[@palakjain1099]

You spoke my thoughts exactly. I cannot say these words without getting angry because it’s so frustrating to explain it to every other person who gives unwanted advice. Next time I’m going to show them this video. I know I’ll face difficulty in finding a like minded partner but this choice is uncompromisingly staying. I’m doing this for the wildlife, for the very reason I’m going vegan but no one would understand. Thanks for making this video. ❤

[@SourabhaRao]

So glad you could relate, Palak. Thank you for your time and kind response. I wish you a rewarding, joyful life no matter what. And I send you immense strength to remain true to your choices. Love, S.

[@satan9487]

omg finally another cf Indian woman! There are so few of us around, happy that I found your channel!

[@SourabhaRao]

May our kind find one another and add to the collective strength. 🙏🏼

[@abhisheksing8379]

Well, nobody consented to being born, so life is an imposition. Moreover, there are no altruistic reasons to have a child. No wonder why teenage/student depression is so common nowadays. The education system is highly toxic, and the competition is reaching inhuman levels. No amount of improvement in the education system is going to help, as with an ever-increasing pool of students, such competition is only natural. Nonetheless, a high degree of thoughtfulness is needed to be childfree, especially in our country. A huge respect for your choice.

[@SourabhaRao]

'No altruistic reasons to have a child' - you had me there, Abhishek. Thank you for your time and response. And yes, so many of us are appalled by the very idea of being childfree, let alone choosing that choice for ourselves. Sad.

[@artisingh9251]

You spoke my mind ❤I am 36 and children by choice.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you very much for your time and response, Arti. 🙏🏼💗

[@shruthiramappa5153]

It’s so nice to see another person from my country is also thinking this just like me. I was thinking if it was only me and now I see there are people around 🤗❤️

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you so very much for your kind response, Shruthi! And yes, you’re not alone at all in this. 🙂🙏🏼

[@seastorm1979]

8.0 Billion people on this planet with finite resources, how much is enough? Raising and educating a kid costs about 8.0 Billion.

[@SourabhaRao]

Haha, I swear. :-D

[@satabdisg9763]

There is no guarantee the child will take care when you are old.If they had taken care of their parents then the number of old age home should have decreased.I know few of children other than this keep their parents in old age home as they had no option if they are living aboard.One should respect one's choice by not criticizing others .More power to you..

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you very much for responding. You are so right, and sadly, it is all true. And I have had some crazy women telling me to have kids - woman whose kids have left them or even killed themselves! I mean, what a silly, utterly selfish expectation to have, and the stupid assumption that every child WILL take care of their old parents. So sad, these assumptions are, and their consequences. So unpleasant to everyone involved.

[@anandteerthrparvatikar5359]

Thanks for speaking where some people lacks to speak out... This is be bookmarked forever.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your kindness. And so glad you could relate. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@anandteerthrparvatikar5359]

Always! When something needs to realised and understood, should be respected and supported

[@SourabhaRao]

@@anandteerthrparvatikar5359 Amen to that, sir. 🙏🏼

[@iamfire869]

Well First of all being childless is not selfish But planning for childr3n for support in their old age is selfish . People Plan kids then they regret it when children become Liability and it takes years for them to turn into asset . Even Children live and unhappy life when parents are not capable for their responsibilities. I hope this education changes people perspective of having children and first rather be independent .

[@deepa1605]

God bless you ❤️ May you achieve everything that you want. Wish you a lot of happiness. You look like you did not give the power of keeping you happy to another person and you are mature enough to be inherently happy and contented.

[@SourabhaRao]

You are too kind, Deepa. Thank you very much for your time and response.

[@deepa1605]

@@SourabhaRao I just see myself in you. My social conditioning was so strong that I couldn't do it in 2001. I am 42 and mother of 2 but I am also someone who always wanted to go on a solo world tour, explore Himalayas alone, work in best lab on brain research.. nothing of which happened as I got busy raising two kids in a not very supportive environment. I still believe I can make a difference by giving my kids their right to be "free" in the truest sense of the word.. free from religious or social conditioning. I am sure they will explore and discover truth in their own way. 🙏 More power to you.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@deepa1605 Oh, this breaks my heart, Deepa. I truly, sincerely hope you still find a way to pursue some of those dreams which aren't really impossible for someone who seems to have the mental and emotional strength that you do. I wish you the very best and perhaps one day, you will return here to tell me which trek you did alone in the great mountains and which country you travelled solo to. May life make it happen for you. I am so happy for your kids, on the other hand. More strength to you, too. And a lot of love...

[@deepa1605]

@@SourabhaRao Aww.. thank you so much! Yes, it's not impossible. I will have to start preparing my family for that 😊.

[@wduprevil]

Your message is very important. In my 43 years on earth, the degradation that I've witnessed is scary and will only get worse before the population stabilize.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your kind response. Let’s hope we do our best collectively to not make it worse. 🙏🏼💗💗

[@anushahegde6369]

Thank you for speaking this out. Needs to be told!

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you so very much, love. 😊💗 And coming from you means the world to me. I’ve lost some friends who are mothers because I hold this view. And this, despite respecting their choice. Why can’t they respect my choice is what I used to feel, in that initial period of grief over a severed friendship, but now I just couldn’t care less. So yes, thank you again. 😊💗

[@prasadb8030]

All your points were very logical and you addressed it head on. But more thankfully you were so non judgemental and polite about the people on other side.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you so very much, Prasad. Your warm and kind response made my day. I guess there’s nothing to be haughty or proud about any choice. Also there’s nothing to sulk about one either for the sake of those who disagree. Thank you very much for understanding the spirit of this conversation. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@aglimmer8699]

Ahhhh! The video itself was a therapy for me🤩🤩🤩. Glad I found you!

[@SourabhaRao]

That’s so kind of you to say. Thank you very much for making time and responding. You made my day! 🙂🙏🏼

[@darshank1571]

Women who choose to be childless by choice should be awarded !! We live in a age where the population is skyrocketing and pressure on the planet is too much , guys get some cue there is already enough problems let population not become another problem !!

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your support. 🙏🏼 And yes, so many people refer to the decline in the ‘rate of growth’ of human population as if that were enough. For the love of Earth, how can it still be enough, just look at the number of humans on the face of this planet. Where must other forms of life go? Your allusion to the pressure on the planet is so true. Hope we all do whatever we can in our might to let the planet save us.

[@annewilkinson9611]

I"m childfree by choice but believe overpopulation is a stupid myth.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@annewilkinson9611 It is not a myth at all if you consider for a minute how SO MANY other living creatures have gone extinct and are going extinct as we speak because of us. I work with wildlife conservation organisations, and for the past three years, i have seen how morbidly over-populated this planet is with humans, there is simply no space for other animals that need more space to survive. They DESERVE to be here as much as us, not everything exists for only us humans. Our empathy needs to go beyond just other humans to other animals, too. We are 8 billion and to say overpopulation is a stupid myth is also stupid and I am sorry about this fact!

[@annewilkinson9611]

@@SourabhaRao So how many people do you think should be "allowed" here? And animals are nasty and hateful towards each other I could do with a planet with zero animals thankyou.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@annewilkinson9611 One: You did not get the point of this video. Two: It's hilarious AND sad how you think humans (who are also animals) can exist as a species with "zero" other animals on the planet. There's no point in arguing with you further. All the best and goodbye.

[@DavesArtRoom]

The bottom line is; I either want kids or I don’t. For me, I do not and never did want kids. And I never went around having sex just to have it, because like many things in life, people put sex on a pedestal. Each of us is responsible for our own actions, and what we do, has consequences. To have kids when you do not want them is doing nobody any good.

[@SourabhaRao]

With you on this. Thank you for watching and responding. 🙏🏼

[@shwetapatil6804]

How amazing this video is! I spoke my mind .. keep positing such videos

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you so very much for your warm response, Shweta. 😊🙏🏼

[@suparnapsabhattaacharya7924]

MORE AND MORE CF PEOPLE SHOULD MAKE SUCH VIDEOS, BRAVO DEAR.. LOVE YOU.

[@SourabhaRao]

You are kind. Love to you, too. 🙏🏼💗

[@RR-fe8yt]

So many marriages broke in 2020-2021 just bcoz emotional healing was Missing...

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for watching and leaving a comment. I’m no expert on numbers and statistics or even marriage for that matter. But it is indeed true that most relationships fail because of a lot of unhealed trauma from the past. And bringing a child into the world in which so many of us adults (?) are still not completely emotionally sound and strong seems like a bad idea.

[@santigris]

Excellent points very well made! Glad to see these things being spoken about! Who better than you to speak with clarity and boldness about topics mired in taboo, dogma and narrow, cloistered thinking! I’m in complete support and agreement over everything you’ve said in this video! Hope to see more men standing up for this too, and encourage women in their lives to think independently on this matter. Look forward to more of these, my pet!

[@SourabhaRao]

Hee! Thank you, partner!

[@robynr3130]

@Santosh Saligram Oh wow, how did you two child-free Indian people find each other? When I was young, I found it almost impossible to find a Black American man who does not want children and even fewer who want to marry but forgo having children.

[@santigris]

@@robynr3130 You're apt to wonder at this confluence of attitudes, Robyn, for even though there is a growing number of individuals even in India who want to go child-free, it does take some degree of Providence for two of the complementary sex to come together. Since we worked together for a few years before we got together, during which we had many interesting and honest conversations on a range of topics, I guess we knew each other's disposition to some extent on various matters, which no doubt helped. Ultimately, though, I think we are just fortunate! 😊

[@SourabhaRao]

@@santigris Hugs! 🥹😘😭😊💗

[@santigris]

@@SourabhaRao 🤗🤗

[@abhinavsinghal5600]

More power to you ms Rao!!! Fellow childfree here✌️⚡

[@SourabhaRao]

That’s nice to know, Abhinav. And thank you for your kind response. 🙏🏼😊

[@preetiprabhakar8102]

Many of the couple's are blaming their parents or in laws that they are not supportive or not much cooperative to take care of their grandchildren in future so is this a valuable reason for not having a child

[@SourabhaRao]

That’s sad. Any reason is valid to not have a child if one simply doesn’t want to. Thank you so much for making time to watch the video and responding. 🙏🏼🙂

[@SourabhaRao]

That’s sad. Any reason is valid to not have a child if one simply doesn’t want to. Thank you so much for making time to watch the video and responding. 🙏🏼🙂

[@SourabhaRao]

That’s sad. Any reason is valid to not have a child if one simply doesn’t want to. Thank you so much for making time to watch the video and responding. 🙏🏼🙂

[@vikramrghanekar]

Having a child is an individual decision or actually the couple's decision. You don't even need to explain yourself irrespective of what every one around you is saying or commenting.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you, you are right. I appreciate the spirit in which you’ve said this. But I don’t think we are so evolved where we can live without explaining a few things now and then. It is sometimes very important to explain, because if it makes at least ONE person pause and not give an unsolicited suggestion, there’s some good that has come out of an attempt. There’s no harmful effect anyway. If everybody kept quiet about everything, I don’t we can learn and grow collectively. Besides, I’m overwhelmed by the response I’ve received from women that I’m more convinced to talk about such choices more. We women have it much more difficult than we’d like to keep mum about it.

[@Childfree334]

African American woman here. I have to say that people don't bother me or pressure me about having kids because they know better. I am a strong personality and will curse anyone out and tell them to mind their own jealous business. Whatever they choose to do with their bodies is their decision, but don't be getting in MY business or MY life. Indian women are raised to be docile, quiet, and respectful. That is why you care so much about what other people think. No so for us black girls. IDGAF!!!

[@SourabhaRao]

@@Childfree334, I am glad people around you know better. 😊 May it always stay that way. 💗 But I guess it takes different societies different stretches of time to get there. And some of us have to GAF a little to at least try to have a constructive conversation. Not that we are actually caring for what others are saying. And also, even if we are caring, perhaps this is a sincere attempt to say something so that maybe we reach a stage where we don’t have to care. 😊 Also, not all Indian girls are raised to be docile and quiet and respectful, things are changing for the better, but of course, it can be a faster change if a lot more of us learn to respect others’ choices as equally valid as their own. 😊 Thank you so much for responding, means a lot. May your grit and strength affect us positively. 🙏🏼 Love.

[@melindaharrington6632]

Hi your video popped up. I enjoyed this video and topic. It’s nice to see CF people from around the world 🌎 talking about choosing to be Childfree. Hope to see you in the comments or video for the Childfree convention online on July 30th and 31st 2022.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your kind words, Melinda. Glad to have crossed ways virtually. :-)

[@michellemendes1038]

Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel ❤ *subscribing*

[@adwaitvedant3297]

*Even if couple want to give birth to child , take time , become financially independent , live your life to the fullest , gather enough wealth so that you don't have to work intensively anymore after the birth of the child. Because A child needs lot of care , investment and time in order to become a human being with all wisdom and skill and only parents can give that if they really love the child. So post 40's , couples can think about taking child if they wish ever.Look for generating second stream of income through stock market or somewhere else so that child's future can be made secured.Test Tube baby and surrogacy are the best way post 40's to have healthy kid .Even one can think about adoption*

[@ranjitharanju2642]

Wonderful video, these kind of videos are needed. Whatever you said is absolutely true and even I think the same as you have thought, we all have our own priorities, just an amazing video by an Indian

[@SourabhaRao]

You are very kind, Ranjitha. Thank you for your time and response. 🙏🏼

[@Mental_Health11]

Very very very Good decision. I like each and every word.

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for your understanding and kindness. 😊🙏🏼💗

[@Dilkachor5360]

That was a great video mam 🔥🔥🔥. Earlier i thought I'm the only one with this kind of thinking. Felt good after watching your video. You have explained all the things on point. But this Ultra legend Conservative pro+ society still don't understand such things. This people don't understand personal space , privacy and most important that is to respect others decisions. They are living in their own world and forcing their views on others. Great Video it was and looking forward more on this topic from you 🔥🔥 . Wish you all the very best. 🙂🙂

[@SourabhaRao]

Such a kind response. Thank you very much. Let us live as sincerely with ourselves as possible no matter what. I wish you the very best, too. 🙏🏼😊

[@trishalaashok9010]

On point! I feel the same way too!

[@SourabhaRao]

That's nice to know, Trishala! You're one of the most level-headed, sensible human beings I know. And so much FUN! Thank you for being.

[@kanikagaral7637]

I am thinking about stuff parents and relatives slight be telling u after u told them about ur choice. Coz i have heard so much nonsense I can write a 3 hr netflix special worth of comedy. We should start a club and have weekly meeting like the AA and other addicts do. Hehehheheh a secret hideaway for us to vent.

[@SourabhaRao]

Bahahahahaha! I LOVE this comment, Kanika! Netflix-worthy special! Hahahaha! Can’t stop laughing! Thank you so much for connecting! 😊🙏🏼💗

[@kanikagaral7637]

@@SourabhaRao thank u for sharing ur views. It is important to know ther e rmore people like u out there. It gets lonely and scary.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@kanikagaral7637 I understand. Completely. It’s not easy, to be honest. And sometimes the frustration can erupt in unpleasant ways. But if we are to witness positive change, it’s perhaps very important to keep our integrity grounded and not forget politeness and basic humanity in a conversation, without giving way to anger, rage and other destructive qualities. So I’m indeed moved and inspire to know that we are not really alone and there will always be a tribe out there for those of us who don’t make choices owing to societal constructs and norms. Perhaps it’s about finding them at the right time, and we have. I respect you for living a life you want and hope to send a message from here that you’re not alone after all. 😊 Love, S.

[@kanikagaral7637]

@@SourabhaRao love k

[@frangipani.19]

Same! Childfree by choice here! Hi5! ✋

[@SourabhaRao]

Haha sweet. Nice to meet you virtually, Ms. Daydreamer! 🙏🏼😊

[@vijay449]

ಪ್ರತೀ ಬಾರಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ದೊಂಬರಾಟ ಆದಾಗ್ಲೂ ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳು ಇವೇ ಇರ್ತೀದ್ವು.. ಆದ್ರೆ ನಮ್ಮಮ್ಮ ಕೇಳ್ತಿದ್ದ counter question ಗಳಿಗೆ ನನ್ನತ್ರ ಉತ್ತರ ಇರ್ತಿರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.. !! ( I had answers though,but it's humanly impossible to interfere their conditioned minds) Samples of my mom's answers. 1. Speaking about Sex - Human can put that in words, so you want to TALK. no animals in the world talking about it, but still they know what to do ! So why you want to talk about it? 2. Making babies - No animal in the world uses contraceptives, and why you want to? ( Then there was counter question from my side - No animals get married, and why do you want me to get married !! - Social security was the answer) 3. Threat to freedom - if our generation had thought, having kids takes away the freedom, human species would have been extinct by now) 4. Support for the dusk - As you mentioned my mom also said, you need someone to support you in the evenings of your life. How can anybody trust that their offspring will look after them- I asked Don't you look after us, when we are old?- my mom asked. This question literally took away all the fun in the discussion..!! I can't say No, but saying Yes, will get her an extra mark..!! ++ ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಬೇಡ ಅನ್ನೋ ನಿರ್ಧಾರ ದಂಪತಿಗಳಿಬ್ಬರೂ ಸೇರಿಯೇ ತಗೊಂಡಿರೋದಾದ್ರೂ, 99% of the time, ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನಲ್ಲೇನೋ ದೋಷವಿದೆ ಅಂತಲೇ ಸಮಾಜ ತಿಳ್ಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತೆ ( including the close and known circle). So ಸಾಕಷ್ಟು ಪುರುಷರು, ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ it's a conscious decision ಅಂತ prove ಮಾಡೋಕಾಗದೆ ಭಯಕ್ಕೆ ತಂದೆಯಾಗ್ತಾರೆ !!!( You may ask - why the hell he has to prove anybody- valid question, but no logical answer) ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಇದೆಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಗೆದ್ದು, don't care attitude ಬೆಳೆಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೆಂಗೋ ಬದುಕ್ತಿದ್ರೆ , ಯಾವುದೋ ಘಳಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆಚಾತುರ್ಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಬಿದ್ದ ಬೀಜ ಮೊಳಕೆಯೊಡೆದು ಬಿಡುತ್ತದೆ !! ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಹೆಗಲು ಗಟ್ಟಿ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಹೊರಬೇಕು.. ಮೊಳಕೆಯನ್ನು ಚಿವುಟುವ ಕ್ರೌರ್ಯಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಇದು ಮೇಲು ಅನ್ನೋ ಸಮಾಧಾನ !!

[@SourabhaRao]

Yappaaaa! doD namskaara to those mother’s perspectives. It is precisely the “I couldn’t care less” attitude I have towards these limited points of view. 🙏🏼🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ Life’s too short to get worked up about these things. 😁

[@the_browneyed_wordslinger1625]

Thankyou for this ma'am🙌

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for watching and responding. 🙏

[@kujayasinghe9199]

Well said ma'am, thank you!

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank YOU for watching and responding kindly. 🙏🏼

[@22_ahanachakraborty58]

More power to you 💞💞

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you very much for your kindness. 🙏🏼🙂

[@alphaomega1351]

I don't know what world these people are living in, but adult children have their own lives and won't have the time or money to care for elderly parents. 😶

[@SourabhaRao]

I don’t think ALL adult children fall under that category. It’s too sweeping a statement to say so.

[@alphaomega1351]

@@SourabhaRao The vast majority of adult children in the USA 🇺🇸 will not have the time or money to care for elderly parents. That's a fact. 😶

[@randommoments9266]

Very well explained :)

[@richa1810]

Love this video.

[@SourabhaRao]

Very few people seem to be patient enough to even LISTEN, Richa ji, let alone being patient in RESPONDING. I bow to you in respect for your patience and affection. Love. 🥹🙏🏼💗

[@manjunathcv9146]

If every human being think like you on this planet, earth will be heaven for other species in just 100 years 😁🙏

[@SourabhaRao]

Ummm, this is not about expecting something like that to happen at all. We are all equal inheritors of life. This is just a request to respect the choice of being childfree as one would respect the choice of making a child, that's all.

[@lizb4156]

I agree with you.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@lizb4156, not sure if this reply is for me or for Mr. Manjunath CV. Either way, thank you for your time. My video has been totally misinterpreted by him. No one is “preaching” anyone to think a certain way like he has suggested. I’ve only requested everyone to respect one another’s choices. So I hope we don’t waste one another’s time by vaguely taking the discussion off course and digressing with our half-understanding and misunderstanding of this humble, human request. 😂🙏🏼

[@lizb4156]

@@SourabhaRao Manjunath. I agree with him. We can think that if we want as well.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@lizb4156 Sure! We’re all entitled to our opinions. You can of course think whatever you want. Let’s agree to disagree, respectfully. EVERY choice is valid as long as it doesn’t harm others.

[@davidnichols1568]

Your parents had you. You didn't have them.

[@SourabhaRao]

If they did not have me, I would not even know. Hahaha. Of course I did not have them and that IS the point. I did not ASK them to birth me.

[@mathmatemathmade8985]

Thanks for these words♥️

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you for watching and responding. 🙏🏼💗

[@nithinv]

Sourabha every research and prediction says that the population of the India and the world is decreasing and fertility rate continue to decline as well. By next century India's population decrease by 1 Billion and Japan has reached 2028 population prediction in 2021 itself. Overpopulation by itself should not be the reason to not have children. I commend you on your decision. Hello and cheers :)

[@SourabhaRao]

Nithin, decline in the “growth” of human population is not enough. We are still THE most populated species on the planet hogging all the resources. 😁 And it is and will always be a significant reason for me until all other forms of life have equal rights to resources as the rightful inheritors of life. It is not just about humans. Also, the point of this video is not that at all. Please not that the ask of this video is that we not poke one’s nose in anyone else’s business. I’m not preaching anyone to NOT have kids. 🙋🏻‍♀

[@PrincessVybz]

@@SourabhaRao You displayed your points beautifully in this video. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for other people to comprehend.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@PrincessVybz I don’t understand either. But I certainly hope that we don’t impose our notions on one another. Thank you for your time in watching and responding to this. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@BeingHumane173]

Women don't owe this world any kid/kids, no matter what. It's every woman's personal choice, if they want to have kids or not. If women are choosing not to have kids, then let it be, accept it, nothing can be done on that. Forcing women into having kids for the sake of 'world population', or for whatever reasons is a serious violation of basic human rights and is Unacceptable. Women are not breeding stocks or incubators, they are Full Human Beings with Inalienable rights to life, liberty and pursuit of well-being and happiness. Any violation of that in any direct or indirect means for the sake of whatever reasons, is Unacceptable.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@BeingHumane173 Amen. Thank you for your time and response. We are so many “people” on this planet that any “decline” is so negligible when you see how we have pushed and have been pushing populations of wildlife to extinction. No “research” about human population will bring back those other animals that are extinct or going extinct. What delusions we are lost in, is humans, it’s really sad.

[@Pruthvikajaykumar]

It's population collapse not overpopulation that is the problem. Be smart in your decisions, take care.

[@SourabhaRao]

I guess your sheer arrogance shows in the way you order someone to be anything at all! We’re a species that has driven so many other species to extinction! This “collapse” you are referring to is so negligible that it IS a problem. If your smartness may be humble enough to learn a bit about wildlife, you’ll probably be humbled for real. This is a place for humble humans, not arrogant ones.

[@ambientwishwalker8908]

You live in India and then comment about 'population collapse nonsense' . The thing is not about population. It's about free will , it's about CHOICE which dumbheads like you won't understand. Stop acting like Elon Musk . At the end people like you want to marry just for sex .

[@CrazyDiamond16]

This video is a joke, you are going to be a lonely and sad woman in her sunset years. Unfortunately when this will truly hit you it may be too late. We don’t have children merely to “take care of us”. Children are the the most perfect personification of unconditional love, sacrifice and selflessness that one can ever experience.

[@SourabhaRao]

You already sound sad. It’s a joke that you have assumed I’ll be alone without knowing anything about me. Hahahaha.

[@CrazyDiamond16]

@@SourabhaRao your parents will not be with you in your 50s. Your friends, siblings, etc will most likely be married with children living their own full lives. Men have a different biological clock so if your partner realizes later, he can still move on and have children with another woman. Traveling, eating out and watching movies sounds fun now, but when you have no one to share with. It’s a lonely road ahead for childless women. Believe me I’m one of them and have many friends in the same boat. We pursued careers over building families and now have no one to share with. You still have time on your side. Don’t waste your fertile years on foolish ideals

[@SourabhaRao]

@@CrazyDiamond16 You don’t know anything about me. This is where I draw the line and let you rant on. Wish you happiness. LOL.

[@Live_and_Let_Live6270]

​​@@CrazyDiamond16 I visited an old aged home a couple of years back and everyone there has an average of 3-8 kids. I am definitely not here for an argument, but just mentioning that you have no guarantee even if you have kids🤐

[@CrazyDiamond16]

@@Live_and_Let_Live6270 That's true, there are no guarantees in life. However one thing is certain, if you pursue the childless path you will be lonely in your sunset years. Also humans are biologically wired to propagate and reproduce, but the fertile window for women is not that long. The regret of not having your own child is deep and irreversible. If you are fortunate there may be someone else in your life that can partially fill the place of your own child, perhaps a friend or a niece/nephew. Again this is a universal truth for humans but there may be the 1% exceptions. The stereotype of the old cat lady - the one who has no one and surrounds herself with pet cats is rooted in reality. What I detest is people like this creator spewing and upholding these foolish ideals without having even the smallest inkling of the true impact of such a decision. In fact it seems like a disturbing trend among Indian women. Mark my words, they will regret it heavily.

[@harishreddy8523]

Whoever comes on vlogs think they're genius. Wasted 9 minutes of time. I don't get it if you don't want to have child then why to have sex? You can do meditation or yoga when gets into mood, LOL. Why to get married or live with opposite partner if you don't want to have kids? Come on your hypothesis of funding some stranger kid to study and in return expect him to take care of you doesn't work practically. If you want to sponsor an orphan, sponsor them but don't expect any returns.

[@SourabhaRao]

LOLOLOLOL! Bahahahahhaah! Bahahahhahahahaa! May you get to live as a free human, if you ever can. LOLOL. I wish you the best. Bahahahhaha!

[@orchid3611]

Are you the one who is going to give birth?

[@SourabhaRao]

@@orchid3611, it’s a waste of our precious time picking a useless argument with people who think THEY are funny and smart. We need more empathy and kindness than cleverness. Thank you for participating in the conversation. 🙏🏼😊

[@sganjam]

Sourabha sorry I guess you don't know me, but I am a good friend of Santosh (may not be in the future after you read my comment 😉). I must say its a brave video and your choice to have no kids is your choice and I totally respect your and your partner's decision, but I don't feel your reasons stand much merit. While your description to the video is good and valid with us accepting the decision to not have kids as normal the video unfortunately lacks. I mean deciding to not have kids because of population is like saying I don't want to drink water out of the river because its water will reduce and hence the fish living in the river will die. What you do personally on this front will have absolutely no consequence on the population what so ever. It will make a difference only if a significant portion of us decide NOT to have kids which I believe will not happen. And given the very statements you make later on about travelling and reading and enjoying life I am guessing you are happy to be born on this wonderful planet and I am sure you say I am happy to be alive more than crying out why was I ever born. So why would you be afraid of bringing a person into the world fearing the bad things and instead spread the joy of being alive. And coming to hiring a help when we get old to look after us. I have no faith in the system you are proposing of giving the care taker something (money) in return for looking after us. I would have loved it if you had said "adopt" a baby because that "will" make a difference to both the parties, but working this on "something in return" model is a sure shot way of dying lonely and poor. And about SEX I am sorry I did not understand how that related to your decision of not having babies. Yes we need to have sex to make babies but there is no link between sexual education and deciding if you want to or not want to have babies. Its purely for increasing our awareness about the risks and consequences of indulging the activity and not about if you should have a baby or not. Again I am not saying you have made a wrong decision. It's your and Sant's choice and I respect you both for that but you did not need to make a video about it educating us on your choice. It would have been better if you had instead said how you are filling your life with joy and adventure "by" deciding not to have children. And finally as a father myself, I must say there is no bigger joy than seeing our little ones inherit our passion and our memories beyond just our genes. The true joy of of being a parent unfortunately can be experienced only when you are a parent. It's true I too was petrified initially, with all the responsibility and poops and the school fees. But the minute I was born as a father they vanished. Is it difficult? Yes it is very very difficult, but so is travelling to far off lands under the sweltering heat and freezing cold to photograph tigers...

[@SourabhaRao]

The experience of life is very subjective. The decisions and choices we make cannot be analysed and discussed and judged objectively. The point of this video is each person or a couple has a choice depending on their priorities, willingness to take up a long-term project like this, and what they want to do with their life. Now this choice is an inherent right of each person and nobody else has the right to call it right or wrong or interfere or manipulate anybody EITHER WAY. However, what we find in society is that, while there’s complete or almost complete acceptance of people who choose to have children, there’s a lot of negativity and speculation and manipulation attached to people who decide not to. There’s also this belief that becoming a parent is the ultimate and only way you can “fulfil” your purpose. So it’s these matters that I address. It is NOT an attempt to claim or test the validity of ANY choice. P. S. About you being friends with Santosh after this comment - haha, we don’t want a child but not childish to break off a friendship over a mere KZbin comment. Haha. Always open to constructive discussions.

[@PrincessVybz]

Sir, are you ok? 🤨 please understand that what works for YOU may not work for someone else. Try to be more understanding of different opinions and outlooks. Also, when it comes to someone else’s body and life your opinion holds no weight at all. The world actually needs more people like Sourabha because it shouldn’t be a big deal for someone to make the conscious decision to NOT have children.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@PrincessVybz Thank you for understanding the spirit and soul of this conversation.

[@robynr3130]

@@SourabhaRao "The experience of life is very subjective. The decisions and choices we make cannot be analysed and discussed and judged objectively. The point of this video is each person or a couple has a choice depending on their priorities, willingness to take up a long-term project like this, and what they want to do with their life. *Now this choice is an inherent right of each person and nobody else has the right to call it right or wrong or interfere or manipulate anybody EITHER WAY.* However, what we find in society is that, while there’s complete or almost complete acceptance of people who choose to have children, *there’s a lot of negativity and speculation and manipulation attached to people who decide not to. There’s also this belief that becoming a parent is the ultimate and only way you can “fulfil” your purpose.* So it’s these matters that I address. *It is NOT an attempt to claim or test the validity of ANY choice."* ^^THIS!!!!!! You phrased this so beautifully! Thank you for your video from a Black American child-free woman, age 62! (edited to add emphasis to sections)

[@SourabhaRao]

@@robynr3130 First things first - immense respect to you for choosing to do something which is still not considered a “normal” or a “conscious” choice. And you mentioned one thing I did not stress on enough - the speculation and manipulation part. Thank you for bringing it up. It’s easy to get lost in rhetoric and dry, wry logic, but to rise beyond that logic to simply respect one another’s choice. Thank you very much for your patience and grace. Immense love to you from India. 🙏🏼🥹💗

[@MosesShabalala]

Society is to blame for people who don't want 2 have kids, we provided contraceptive methods, abortion methods, condoms etc. Also unlike back in the 1800s many women in society are no longer groomed to be mothers or good wives at all, in fact they're starting to live and act more like men.

[@SourabhaRao]

Wanting to be a mother or not is an individual choice, not something one can impose on others. And it’s got nothing to do with “acting like men”. That’s the earnest request in this video - to not impose our notions on others and respect one another’s choices. Thank you.

[@MosesShabalala]

@@SourabhaRao We gave them that option, that choice as medical practitioners

[@rarejewel9678]

@@MosesShabalala Look everybody. A right wing misogynist in the comments as usual, threatened by women who have autonomy and think for themselves. Spoken like a male who doesn't have to be pregnant, go through childbirth, or do the heavy lifting when it comes to actually raising the kids. According to him, we should all run right now to sign up to be domestic slaves and incubators. That is the only way us women can be happy in life after all. (Extreme sarcasm intended)

[@AngelDeed]

In the 1800, women were forced to have children. As in nobody asked them when/if they wanted to have sex, have kids or how many... So you mean you want to force women again?

[@MosesShabalala]

@@AngelDeed who forced women, are u saying your great grandfather forced your great grandmother? you see you're using few incidents to explain what happened throughout history which is terrible and stupid. Many people were poor back in the days but both men and women worked together to care for their children. That's why we're here.

[@gurudathshenoy6478]

ಕಳಿಸಿ ಕಳಿಸಿ family whatsapp groupಗೆಲ್ಲ ಕಳಿಸಿ.

[@SourabhaRao]

Already sent, Mr. Shenoy! Please rest assured that whatever I say is not for a conveniently selected group or two. There’s only one life and it’s too short to be a hypocrite!

[@gurudathshenoy6478]

@@SourabhaRao I understand the seriousness Sourabha. What you said in the video needs takes courage to say. This is one single answer to innumerable questions you keep hearing throughout your lifetime. By the way, we are all selfish in one way or the other. I had heard this somewhere, even when parents were producing number of children their logic was selflishness - Who knows which kid will survive to take care of us, so better produce more. This might be decades ago but the reason is same - Selfish.

[@SourabhaRao]

@@gurudathshenoy6478 EXAXTLY, Gurudath. If not having a kid is selfish, then having a child is, too. You nailed it. That’s all I’m saying, there’s selfishness in both ways of being, nothing is better or worse.

[@gurudathshenoy6478]

@@SourabhaRao I am seeing responses of others. It is all interesting. Makes up for a long session. We will do it when we meet as a group next time. I am certainly missing our coming Sunday meeting.😕

[@SourabhaRao]

@@gurudathshenoy6478 There’s always a next Padayaatre! 🤓🙋🏻‍♀️

[@arunshankars8398]

There is nothing wrong in going childfree. Congratulations!

[@SourabhaRao]

Of course not. 😊 Thank you for your kind response. 😊

[@michellemendes1038]

Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel ❤ *subscribing*

[@SourabhaRao]

Thank you very much, Michelle. So glad you could relate. 😊🙏🏼