The Dude Map | Late Night Tumblr Posts

[@joda7697]

Actual teenager Jotaro is a blursed image. He looks like 17 now but not like Jotaro anymore.

[@littlewolfyzapling8810]

Joot looks like he’s 30 or something in part 3, then he looks 20 in part 4

[@joda7697]

@@littlewolfyzapling8810 "He's evolving, just backwards" (or aging, i guess)

[@illusionist1872]

Joseph: "Jotaro? What happened to you?" Jotaro: "L'OREAL, BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT"

[@bloodakoos]

looks like a female

[@archie57]

Am i the only one that thought he looked like a lesbian(sorry if thats offensive, just my honest opinion)

[@erinmacbeth3738]

As a Canadian I can attest. To give you the whole story, Bieber was transformed from our national animal, a beaver. It was a failed experiment, something which haunts to this day. The combination of bad hair and permanent baby face was concocted after a scientist reportedly listened to nickelback for too long. Bieber was put in a facility, he was never meant to escape. But he did, and to this day, people say they still see traces of beaver Bieber. We are sorry.

[@w_nder]

Facts i lived in the town where the lab was, the town hasnt been the same since...

[@ItsHimBro]

It was a goose not a beaver. I can attest as one of the lab assistants helping to perform the experiment.

[@BlooSquared]

yeah, now we can't preform the ritual as well as before and we are forced to be extra brutal during our sacrificial hockey tournaments

[@privpi]

Fun fact: Bieber is the german word for beaver

[@danielkeys8974]

SCP Foundation = Canada: CONFIRMED

[@theclodofclods]

One-time-i-dreamt has some type of ability to make you unable to read their url until you read the post

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

*_ITS THEIR QUIRK_*

[@theclodofclods]

@@AverageEldritchEntity It's their superpower. I don't watch that anime, and therefore will not use that word.

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

@@theclodofclods nor do I. I just use it to give people who do flashbacks.

[@davidegaruti2582]

It's the ability of their stand : LUCID DREAMER

[@theclodofclods]

@@davidegaruti2582 I do not tolerate jojo references. It is a superpower.

[@driveasandwich6734]

Fun Fact: if everyone starts saying "meese" on the internet, dictionaries will recognize it as just as valid as "mooses".

[@butchbabytoaster]

I remember when that happened with "problemo." Haven't actually heard anybody say it since then.

[@theworldsmostforgottentown]

@@butchbabytoaster Wait, that happened with problemo?? Did I miss something??

[@hrgrhrhhr]

This comment and its replies make me want to s t a b

[@lucifers.morningstar3805]

@@hrgrhrhhr get in line.

[@elijahpadilla5083]

@@theworldsmostforgottentown Problemo was said often enough to become an official word in the dictionary.

[@Last_Person]

The dude map is so accurate, cause nobody in Florida really has friends

[@XxBloodied_Lambxx]

.....I have friends.

[@sangrihoe935]

I DIDNT WANNA BE CALLED OUT LIKE THAT.

[@fryingpanman1250]

Neither does north Georgia

[@YaMexicanBoy]

What about the Florida man who broke into a prison to chill with his buddies

[@XxBloodied_Lambxx]

@@YaMexicanBoy Yas

[@andordimeny6130]

„You should shut down the us and start it again" Consider: The year is 2982. At least... It WOULD be. However, somewhere around the 2030's, the world got so messed up, the apocalypse happened at least three times in a row. However, the world DID manage to recover. We just had to restart society from the basics: agriculture, the evolution of society, it all had to happen again! No one even remembers how the apocalypse happened in the first place. „Old" technology still exists, but most of it is quite weird and people have trouble understanding it. Some even think it's magic. In America, currently it is the late 1800s. There are cowboys running around with laser guns, traveling together with mutant herds of cows. No one understands why, but there are these HUGE ruins no one dares go to. Sometimes people find ancient relics, such as the „machine horses" (motorcycles) or the tiny silver screens (TVs, phones, monitors). There is a legend going around that somewhere, somehow the legendary treasure of Musk is hidden. One day, a small gang of lightslingers takes off to search for it, in hopes of fortune and fame.

[@blackeyefatlip7045]

I'm taking notes for purely educational reasons

[@WateverWatever04]

Start a Patreon and write this book I WILL PAY YOU _PLEASE_

[@whyamideadindiscord3081]

History is oh so dense and not all knowledge would be lost.

[@edatthegovernance]

Op, when's the book out? Op? I wanna buy it!

[@lonewolf97]

But is Queen Elizabeth still alive

[@slug8039]

Horror game idea where you’re a Canadian in a cult and you have to summon Justin Bieber like he’s some sort of demon

[@christopherhelps1227]

But that's already how it works

[@slug8039]

khloe helps Yeah but now you can experience it for yourself if you’re not from canada

[@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967]

And also Henry is đere for some reason.

[@mercwiththemouthsnewphone6798]

I'm going into game design for collage, so expect this to possibly be in a markiplier video at some point in the next few years

[@nobodyishere00000]

As a Canadian, I can totally confirm that "we perform a ritual to purge ourselves of our rudeness"

[@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967]

Ah, so đe modern version of ancient Hebrew Passover?

[@nobodyishere00000]

@@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 lol wow didn't think of that one, nice

[@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967]

@@nobodyishere00000 Þank.

[@AbadonXXX]

Always remember: orca is the natural predator of the moose, thank you pm

[@mme.veronica735]

And ticks, due to their expanding range from global warming, are becoming a larger problem for moose because ticks will literally gather in hundreds on moose and drain them of their blood while the moose are so itchy they scrape the skin from their bodies

[@Scrubjay457]

@@mme.veronica735 I wonder if moose will start having a mutualistic relationship with birds after a while.

[@Dinoman972]

@@Scrubjay457 Cattle egrets already do that, though I'm not sure if they do it with mooses. The only other tick-eating birds I know of are oxpeckers, which are endemic to Africa, and ground birds such as chickens and quails, which I can't picture riding mooses in order to eat their ticks like other birds would.

[@amirulamani1487]

@@Dinoman972 but just imagine, a rooster, riding a moose. Is it not the most glorious thing you could imagine!

[@mme.veronica735]

@@amirulamani1487 Kanuk-y fried chicken

[@lazarus9165]

every millennia the Canadians must create a vessel to absorb their rudeness, Justin Bieber is just the current vessel.

[@absolutelegend69]

nickelback was the previous vessel

[@paladinboyd1228]

@@absolutelegend69He was a jerk?

[@TheLegend2T]

Tfw you show the “didn’t read the url lol” response while simultaneously cropping out the url before we got to read it

[@kimberlymarino7344]

True story...starting in the late 80s I worked for the great city of Philadelphia's police department. We are a big city with a poorly funded police dept. The district I worked in was were they sent those officers that they could find no other way to punish. So we were on the bottom when it came to resources. We quite often did the human barking like a dog trick and then would say you have 10secs to come out or we are going to release the dog. It. worked. every. single. time. A few years later I moved on to a different part of the country and was shocked that they would actually wait for a k9 unit to arrive. So thinking I was being helpful I showed them how we did it in Philly. It worked but I was nicknamed k9. Not what you want to be called when you are a 25yr old woman. I did not stay long and never shared my secrets again. I work in federal LE now on an internet crimes against child task Force. I mostly work from home and can no longer embarrass myself. Until now.

[@arnerademacker8548]

That is _amazing._ Also, they way you wrote "never shared my secrets again" sounds like you are hiding that you are actually a were wolf.

[@kimberlymarino7344]

@@arnerademacker8548 who told you Arne?

[@arnerademacker8548]

@@kimberlymarino7344 Oh, er..... This is awkward. I mean of course, I know nothing. Please don't eat me.

[@kimberlymarino7344]

@@RejectReef wouldn't that be true if most people? I'm not a bitch nor am I a fool. There is a happy medium. 😁 and this was a name used among other officers not meant to be intimidating. Just meant to annoy the crap out of me.

[@kimberlymarino7344]

@@arnerademacker8548 no worries...at least until the full moon then I cannot promise anything. 😉

[@JohnnyTyrant]

“Smol hamilton” was 5’7”(170.18cm) and George Washington was 6’2” (187.96cm). It wasn’t so much that Hamilton was “smol” but rather that George Washington was a freakin giant of a man for the time.

[@basilabbasi]

As a Canadian, I can agree I have never been more confused with anything other than American English and I took calculus for Jimminie's sake!

[@kimberlymarino7344]

Jimminie should have done his own calculus! Shame on you for depriving him of a terrible learning experience. 😉

[@basilabbasi]

@@kimberlymarino7344 I am sorry but as a Canadian, we don't let people suffer here. We're too polite to.

[@FANGZ-s3k]

Agreed. The American alphabet is so freaking confusing, seriously wtf.

[@gentlemanmadness607]

The American why of spelling stems from old newspapers where it cost them for each letter. That is why in amarica we sell colour like color and cheque like check. It became so common in the newspaper that generations fallowing have accepted it to be the "true" wway to spell things. And lots on amaricans are ignoramuses about it and act all indignant when someone trys to correct them. I personally try to learn the true spelling of words that have been changed. And so too do other amaricans, not alot, but some.

[@thetwilightgamer]

Xx Grey xX I think you mean the American Dictionary, the alphabet is the same as any other English speaking country

[@scenearadia6901]

PM's vids are the ONLY thing stopping me from sleeping 20 millenia

[@cheddarcheezit2647]

Crowley?

[@mikey_m114]

I hope everyone has a wonderful day today - each and every single one of you deserve it! you’re all lovely people and I care about all of you! stay safe! ❤️❤️❤️

[@kimberlymarino7344]

So much kindness here! You have a wonderful day as well!

[@marsnatale3184]

No u

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

*slight blush* good day to you too! Stay safe, all.

[@erinmacbeth3738]

You know ur words are very nice but ur profile pick is threatening. I'm not sure how to deal with this. BTW I hope you have a good day too.

[@aint.responsible]

0:41 _wow!! Hamilton: the musical was so popular that they made statues out of it!!_

[@SnooSnoo503]

DOnT bE STUpiD ThE MuSICal CAMe OUt AFtEr thE STATUeS WEre BUilT

[@jatziberoja04]

Mr Burr sir.... (I'm actually a girl)

[@Nothing-yf4ks]

I thought the first one was real omg I wasn't even phased I accepted it Oh no

[@demi-femme4821]

Welp, you've gone to faar to the Dark Side, time to meditate on Ashla.

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

Time to raid an SCP site for amnestization!

[@meltypapyrus]

"You can guess who is ugly but it never will be the truth." ~ An inspirational quote from myself. You're welcome.

[@eastia7518]

My brother and I keep terrorizing my sister by chanting the "Im screme Youm screme We all screme for DIRT LEAF" While we're playing Minecraft and she hates it

[@funwithchristina563]

3:08 I like how, as someone who doesn't quite agree with the overly-detaild Jojo art, I understand what is wrong here, but find it to be an improvement.

[@IrvingIV]

I like both, but prefer smoooth. It's how I think of anime.

[@funwithchristina563]

@@IrvingIV agreed

[@captainhuntank7963]

So does this mean Justin Beiber is actually an SCP

[@borbybrob5638]

Can confirm the dude map is completely true

[@MrGrayMan1]

5:09 he was never MENT TO ESCA-

[@desmolboi4049]

1:49 (clears throat) Canadians are born with the trait "Phrasing", this trait lets the species talk to others in a code that only other Canadians and a few people understand. They have used this trait for centuries to let off steam by saying mean things to non-canadians while making it seem nice. This trait is key to understanding how Canadians are so kind to others all the time.

[@cheshirecat7819]

0:40 *guns and ships playing in the distance*

[@tieflingcorpse9817]

There’s three kinds of tumblr channels: robot voice, human who is also a voice actor, and regular human who isn’t a voice actor. You know what channels I’m talking about

[@IrvingIV]

fedora guy, seymour, and giggle friend?

[@tieflingcorpse9817]

@@IrvingIV I don’t know who fedora guy is, but I’m assuming by giggle friend you mean logu?

[@IrvingIV]

@@tieflingcorpse9817 Yes Logu

[@tieflingcorpse9817]

@@IrvingIV oh, who’s fedora guy?

[@tieflingcorpse9817]

@@IrvingIV i know this 5 months late but i remembered who fedora guy was

[@bizzybeans9833]

The best thing about remote learning is that I can literally just watch youtube while I wait for my next class to start when I've already finished the shit i needed to do. I still have another 37 minutes.

[@SomeDemoMain]

1:24 *dirt leaf*

[@drumbhoohoo]

1:15 The homestucks are back at it again

[@squeaktheswan2007]

4:00 Pavlov is laughing his ass off in the science afterlife right now.

[@godricktheminecrafted3113]

Did anyone else think the PM Seymour mini drawing thing’s moustache was actually teeth before it was coloured?

[@McEmerald8811]

I thought that it was his mouth wide open for some reason

[@marsnatale3184]

@@McEmerald8811 same

[@zadok1337]

1:49 Suits Also, way to show your true COLOURS! Canada represent!

[@innocentsouluwu1157]

I watch one of these vids whenever im sad, and they make me laugh so much that I end up forgetting why I was sad.Thanks Pat 🥺💖💖

[@MayyaK11]

Smol Hamilton is smol

[@theseagull4805]

I watch your videos when I feel sad. Thank you for doing what you do.

[@Zander2212]

2:10 That's pretty much the reason for any and all strangeness between similar wards (goose/moose, ox/box, etc.). Word A is like this because it originated in dead language B, while Word C originated in Dead Language D.

[@eastia7518]

This is the best late night Tumblr video in that there's only like 2 jokes that I don't get

[@thesillygoofer]

i have an obsession with dirt leaf

[@cagedcoco1681]

1:23 Marking because this has been in my head for the past 12 hours

[@aspenh011]

I’m here and I know it’s gonna be a good video because it’s PM

[@ettamaemartin9627]

I love the endings so much TwT

[@fionag8945]

I can confirm, in Seattle we don’t have friends. Only Starbucks and acquaintances, oh and rain, lots of rain.

[@lydiahahnert7566]

This was an amazing way to waste time that I should have been using to take notes for class... thank you

[@remyviv1995]

I love the first post lmao

[@Rampy470]

Objection to the Jojo image, his chin and neck were also made smaller in addition to the removed crosshatching.

[@PhazonOmega]

1:07 There's actually something like that built into the US Constitution. The Convention of States organization is working to reset some things and dial back many problems facing the country.

[@moonscape0430]

sure, you'll think that the plural of moose will be meese but allow me to present this option: moosen e.g I saw a flock of moosen.

[@andrelee7081]

Therapist: Smooth Jotaro isn't real, he can't hurt you Smooth Jotaro: 3:14

[@madafaka2666]

You've been hit by! You've been struck by! Smooooooooth Platinum!

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

@@madafaka2666 you ought to be starry.

[@RIPRYUZAKI]

Hi yeah, I have a friend on xbox who is from Canada-land and we play borderlands together. He will purposely drive off the nearest cliff and say "Welcome to Pandora!" He also wasn't afraid to kill all of our dino's in ARK Survival when our other friends, who might not be considered as such now I don't really know haven't been on Xbox in a hot minute, all because they used a mass whistle command, affecting all the dino's nearby, instead of going up to just one and activating it. I wasn't playing with any of them at the time, but when he told me this I supported him.

[@luissantiago5163]

That first one. Man this is going to be a funny one.

[@godricnecro]

3:14 the Jojo face lines one... to the left, Jotaro Kujo to the right, post-white Michael Jackson.

[@indigo3395]

I clicked at the speed of pansexual

[@kimberlymarino7344]

Wait...do pansexual people move faster then others? Is it a super power? Was the flash pansexual? So many questions!

[@indigo3395]

@@kimberlymarino7344 and of which none I can awnser

[@demi-femme4821]

Same.

[@marsnatale3184]

@@kimberlymarino7344 lgbtq+ people mive fast so we can get here in 1 second while heteros can get here in 12

[@indigo3395]

@@marsnatale3184 hehe yes

[@leviphipps2462]

1:50 also it's really hard to do much of anything until it's back up. ya just gotta anxiously run to the objective.

[@eggduck2881]

Thx for making me smile and laugh pm ur great 👍

[@Astr1d_Jp3g]

EXCUSE ME WHY HAS THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE CHOSEN THE FACT THAT COLONER IS PRONOUNCED KERNEL LIKE WTF I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE PRONOUNCED CO-LO-NEL???

[@ballcockfiend]

Ever heard of lieutenant in British English? What about forecastle? Leicester? I know you've probably heard of Worcester. And I know what you're thinking, and no, it's not pronounced that way.

[@sillyking1991]

you mean....colonel? there's no R in the word

[@yyb6512]

If it wasn’t for the response to the one-time-i-dreamt post I wouldn’t have just accepted the fact the police where barking at furries to pull off a drug bust

[@yetravellingsonc8372]

Jotaro without the shady marks looks more accurate to later seasons and is in fact NOT cursed, but rather unconditional.

[@inspiration4249]

1:34 As someone from the PNW...this is painfully accurate.

[@ethanbenner6995]

Welcome to the cult

[@gaysatan4990]

Please. Don’t refer to this as a cult.

[@gaysatan4990]

Cults get documentaries of their existence

[@gaysatan4990]

We got memes

[@ethanbenner6995]

But what about the binge compilation intros.

[@gaysatan4990]

We are not a cult. We are a pit stop for shits and giggles with cool as shit free memes

[@MicahCoon]

We would have also accepted "there are nice canadians, there is Quebec"

[@theworldsmostforgottentown]

What happened in Quebec?

[@arnerademacker8548]

@@theworldsmostforgottentown It's better nobody knows.

[@reneholly7994]

As a person who's from Seattle I can confirm, we don't friends.

[@tootsie_]

As a seattlite, yeah i agree with that friend post

[@4orks976]

We use all of those in Seattle

[@honjkz1899]

As someone who is from Seattle....... No. We don't have friends...... We don't need friends..... We have coffee.... That's all we need

[@tigertrainerxd9190]

He was never ment to escape.

[@healerofthewaters6508]

Marquis De Lafayette... George Washington... Alexander Hamilton... (My Hamiltrash self) THE TEN DOLLAR FOUNDING FATHER GOT A LOT FARTHER BY WORKIN A LOT HARDER BY BEING A SELF-STARTER BY 14...!

[@thetwilightgamer]

We can end this war in Yorktown, cut them off at sea, but for this to succeed there is someone else we need! I know, HAMILTON!

[@Squishy2531]

I started singing Lafayette's bit in Aaron Burr, Sir as soon as I read his name. God help me!! I'm new here!!

[@thetwilightgamer]

Dee Wheatland Oui oui, mon ami, je m'appelle Lafayette!

[@Squishy2531]

@@thetwilightgamer Dont encourage me! I need to stop! Ahhh!!!!

[@thetwilightgamer]

Dee Wheatland well I just text-sung the entirety of Stay Alive (reprise) to my friend so I’m kinda on a roll

[@greywhite2784]

The posts keep getting better.

[@snarfymcsnarfface2323]

He was never meant to escape

[@HunhowsShadowStalker]

The plural of Moose is MOOSEN! I saw a flock of MOOSEN! There are many of them, many much MOOSEN! Out in the WOODS, and the WOODES and the WOODSEN!

[@fatcat1414]

The "bro" map is extremely concentrated around Texas and Wisconsin and I don't know how to feel about that.

[@pokefan213]

As a Canadian I apologize once more for Bieber's escape- the guards we used got distracted by politely telling someone to fuck off that day Again we Canadians are sorry he was never meant to escape.

3:13 me being the cursed person I am and actually liking the after picture as well

[@dalikaeor]

Perfectly cut scream! ❤️

[@nekoill]

1:23 - the absolute fucking best

[@water2205]

The funky thing about english is that you can spell any word any way you want and still have it be correct, thats how flexible english is. Now the problem with this sort of system is **esplosin**

[@Luc-jc4dl]

I thought Canadians purged all their anger into their geese

[@Takisan111]

So that's why they come down here to the States and raise hell.

[@calamiti7095]

.......I am the child at work. I rode my bike to work or walk, or have my mom drive me, and most of the delivery drivers are like’you need a ride? I’m headin that way?’ Or ‘it’s raining, you aren’t going out in this, I’m driving you’. I’m kinda scared to tell them that my mom doesn’t have a car right now lol

[@シシ-f7o]

:48 The Hamilton fandom

[@trizegard]

as a canadian, bieber escaping was an accident, one that we cannot recover from

[@jeremytung1632]

Everyone knows the plural of goose is sheep.

[@healerofthewaters6508]

Hjonk hjonk... Am goose.

[@DisasterEnby]

The singular of sheep is now shoop

[@crabcakes1408]

I'm watching this when I'm supposed to be doing school work

[@yellowblue_tt]

1:24 dirt leaf is best

[@oxythemoron8396]

All we need now is a highly blurred image of moose’s with the word MEESE

[@bumblebeebozo]

2:03 Ahem... Didn't you hear him? He lives in CANADA. They polite as heck-

[@nolongerusing7430]

1:12 They want an entire country to start over?

[@jojovibe1562]

This episode taught me a lot about Canadians

[@danredacted4630]

Hi there!

[@Mire-Drive]

Dan Olofsson Jacobsen you are speed

[@christianfyffe2209]

That last one reminds me of Angra Mainyu. Or at least what Fate/Stay Night calls Angra Mainyu...

[@mwolfe1486]

In the seattle area it's a mix of bro and dude

[@MsVilma1970]

The worst part about the first one is that I can definitely see that happening irl

[@nimuedamon1936]

*DIRT LEAF*

[@AshleyIsTrying]

Okay but Joot without all the lines and stuff make him more hawt then he already was

[@Zadanoire]

*I mean.... calling tumblr the “internet equivalent of a McDonalds play place” is like calling Star Wars and Star Trek the same thing.*

[@azurehorizon4485]

2:03 what do you expect. The guy's Canadian

[@zendakon8299]

Early morning for me by the time I watch this.

[@Gummy_Pop.]

pigeon prank has me cackling XD

[@prophecynewt2250]

The way you pronounced oo and ee led me to the discovery of the *forbidden w's*

[@aromanticfranziskavonkarma]

Smol Ham-And-Eggs

[@yunamchill9169]

Along with Large Baguette and a Washingmachine.

[@aromanticfranziskavonkarma]

@@yunamchill9169 ... *Help-my-son-got-shot-in-the-chest-nuts*

[@yunamchill9169]

@@aromanticfranziskavonkarma Oh no, you're mean!🙀 I'll do you one better then. Laurenswreath-who-died-boyfriendless!

[@turboidiotsandslowsmarts4496]

being someone from Seattle i can confirm