Shallon: Drug Safety - SNL

[@M.Elizabethe]

"I will play a drug dealer..." *_The hero of our story_*

[@KanawhaCountyWX]

Allow me to introduce myself.

[@dreamygray3337]

His voice is everything

[@markmagician2471]

NO NOT A HERO!

[@markmagician2471]

NO NOT A HERO!

[@yourlocalentertainmentchan9153]

BAD GUY!

[@brian554xx]

"Quit playing games, Doug! Be a man and put a ring on it!" was when I knew I had to like.

[@sharone6077]

**sings "put a ring on it"**

[@leyla8227]

That’s literally my family yelling at my cousin’s boyfriend.

[@brittanyhonaker9087]

I felt that my sisters boyfriend put a ring on it but they are still not married yet

[@potatoesforlife1234]

Bobby Moynihan had incredible lines in this one.

[@ananyanyan]

For me it was "I will play a drug dealer.." "The hero of our story"

[@suzihoude]

Exactly how my 6th grade DARE class went. The officer teaching us tried all year. At one point, we had a guy come in to serve some community service time talking to the school about his "bad" experience with LSD. He described his psychedelic dreams so vividly the kids gave him spontaneous applause. The faculty actually made him come back a second time to apologize and try to undo the damage. Such a fail.

[@anureet123]

This reminds me of the episode of Community where they were putting on an anti-drug play for kids and Pierce ruined it 😂

[@darklightmotion5534]

the war on drugs doesnt work

[@grafknives9544]

@karmadah hard truth is... You can safely do drugs without much harm. No differt than legal substances.

[@Bruno-gj4jj]

@karmadah It's true but very difficult for most illegal drugs and legal drugs only things like legal clean weed or psychedelics can really be used in responsible way

[@nastasyushkapetrovna5023]

They made him come back and apologize hahahahaha!!!!!

[@FrFrijole]

This is an accurate representation of how well the D.A.R.E worked

[@boppob1343]

Dare actually recently stopped their anti-marijuana campaign. So its actually kinda improved as a program apparently

[@devinreis5811]

Scare tactics don't work. That's why it was a total joke since day one.

[@tree479]

Devin Reis I have a shirt still of it

[@blacklegacyentertainment5757]

We all did the d.a.r.e swear for nothing ( as I pour water into my bong)

[@thecoloredphoenix7218]

Uni Frog true

[@allyrowe487]

I will play our drug dealer.. *THE HERO OF OUR STORY*

[@depressedfujoshi7025]

True

[@honeykermit3162]

MOVE SUPERMAN

[@christofferjenzen78]

Seems someone has seen the first purge.

[@lawrencemactavish7868]

YAYYYYYAYAYAYAYAYAY

[@mikedow6302]

Wearing a cape with a D on it. White powder all over your face and nose..DA DA DA DAAAAA..DRUG MAN

[@jolinalukose1424]

Shallon: "no thank you I only do crack" 😎 Priceless

[@santino86k]

ok

[@yourlocalentertainmentchan9153]

Aw, Man! She was so close! 😫

[@lizmacleod5523]

What do you say when someone says “wanna get high” Shallon: *Thanks for the opportunity!*

[@_Myrhl]

Uhh, i can get high myself, just climb to the roof, i dont need druogs

[@Mundwasser]

No thanks... People say I already act drunk

[@PhSilentMew2]

What do you say when someone says “wanna get high” Shallon: Thanks for the opportunity! Am I funny now? I copied someone

[@Memelord007]

Lets go to the moon!

[@simplypuppy6047]

I laughed so hard when I watched this skit! Lol 😂😂😂

[@elana6915]

“If these grown-ups in alleyways who sell crack don’t find me how can I find them?” I’m dying 🤣🤣🤣

[@Baruch.Goldstein]

You can find them in jail

[@sgtpepper5435]

666’th like lol

[@peterl.104]

“First come first served.”

[@rohan750]

Clubs and pubs are usually your best bet to find them! Hahaha

[@Max-me9ol]

remember kids, if someone offers you drugs you say "thank you" because drugs are expensive yo.

[@Kanycmka]

unless its rogan. fuck rogan, dumb piece of shit “comedian”, get some dirt in his eye

[@kingjewels8682]

@@Kanycmka what did seth do 😂😂

[@sabrinavelezzzzz]

what about the dementors

[@MassivePonyFan]

If only people offered free drugs

[@Davidscomix]

@@Kanycmka gonna cry?

[@ayeemmaperson8030]

Shallon is going places. Probably to jail. But somewhere.

[@Athenstrainman]

Hahaha.

[@theeberrybest]

LMAO

[@fnaf_love4rp402]

Not college

[@beholderv]

@@fnaf_love4rp402 no were near college.

[@ureezy]

Jahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[@brianward7550]

LOL Seth Rogen as a DARE officer that's hilarious

[@AriGoldFishing9136]

just letting you know you got 200 likes

[@almightyhypnotoad]

Just letting u know u have no likes

[@AriGoldFishing9136]

Jackson Smith lol

[@rannielaayumi2445]

Yeah ironically

[@almightyhypnotoad]

They came back and liked themselves just because of that...ouch.

[@skinlesswater6730]

“Want some ecstasy pills?” “No thanks I only do crack :)”

[@brryfc]

I read this as I heard it.

[@mollywilson683]

"Quit playing games Doug! Be a man and put a ring on it!" I died 😆😂

[@cassandramartinez7050]

😂😂

[@robertstewart9071]

Almost pissed myself laughing at that line

[@gary1409]

I literally read this exactly when he said it

[@amandarogers7046]

Molly Wilson 😂😂😂

[@razarthornxxx6338]

Molly Wilson Dayummmm Niggaaaa lol

[@RandomGameplayVideos]

My favourite lines are: -Cocaine. Cocaine lines are my favourite lines.

[@luvmj32]

I see what you did there a❄👃 Bump.

[@selfawareness4916]

@@luvmj32 i see what you did there Bump

[@luvmj32]

@@selfawareness4916 lets be clear. I don't like cocaine, I just like the way it smells😝

[@tracy_748]

You got 420 likes

[@Cvonnorrr]

@Anonymous Anonymous DAMN YOUR picky

[@sissyofFreemont]

Her comedy is so underrated. She's excellent.

[@jonhohensee3258]

Gee, another "he/she is underrated" comment. How unique.

[@semiophile]

@@jonhohensee3258 It's not that unique really, a lot of people comment the same thing.

[@jonhohensee3258]

@@semiophile ReALLy???

[@dustin_echoes]

"No thank you. I only do crack." I died.

[@xBlackKnightx]

subject_17 Hahaha 😂 Same

[@zaddy1014]

subject_17 lol

[@Me-pe8eb]

subject_17 I died

[@nothingthere9626]

subject_17 same lol

[@sexymans3084]

subject_17 I was just about to comment that 😂

[@maple-leaf8816]

“I’m sorry I think your kids like crack now” 😂😂😂😂 IM CRYING

[@chloee.s5128]

SAME HERE GURLLLLLLLLLLL

[@TheKorfish]

The DARE program in a nutshell

[@chloee.s5128]

@@TheKorfish Omg ima do that on gacha now

[@chloee.s5128]

@Brooke the killer oki XD

[@wil_bee4934]

Same Here 🙋🏼‍♀️ 😉😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DancingBlueMLBCatGamer]

How ironic that out of literally all the people they could have chosen, they chose Seth Rogen.

[@BLACKOPSKING96]

What I thought too

[@canaisyoung3601]

The irony scale has short-circuited and is currently on fire.

[@mademax1]

No way it was irony

[@ImNotaRussianBot]

Preeeeetty sure it's exactly why they chose him.

[@c0ffyy767]

LMFAO I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT

[@kaitymccoy5081]

Nasim Pedrad is one of the most underrated cast members of all time

[@Woodruff70]

I totally agree, I really miss seeing her crazy characters.

[@TonyMackSays]

Facts

[@elliehaynie9932]

I thought she was hilarious on Scream Queens

[@ryansmith9104]

She does the best Kim Kardashian.

[@JB-lc7fu]

Thanks for the oppurtunity

[@jackbelden3851]

*QUIT PLAYING GAMES DOUG, BE A MAN AND PUT A RING ON IT*

[@merc5333]

This is such... I freakin' love this!😂😂😂😂💙

[@hecksagon]

“No thanks i only do crack!” No joke that “crack”ed me up

[@ily2cc]

"If someone asks you to get high, you just say..." "Thanks for the opportunity!!!"

[@VazzVegas]

Best Line.

[@amandarogers7046]

“Thanks for the opportunity” 😂😂

[@owenx3502]

Your welcome 👌🏻👍🏻

[@JasonDelarosa2000]

I like her when she holds up her finger ❤

[@PuffyKat]

Having Seth Rogen as the dare representative makes this a whole Nother level of funny

[@jazmyn130]

LETS TALK ABOUT THAT!!! *i like ur profile picturr

[@PuffyKat]

@@jazmyn130 thank you comrade

[@patrickd8654]

"Drugs are OK, as long as you're responsible about how much you do." "Drugs are kind of like a fun treat for a special occasion." These kids aren't wrong.

[@jordanthejq12]

Drugs are a sometimes food.

[@theringsragingflameinciner3901]

@@jordanthejq12 those are called vitamins

[@eilido4928]

yup

[@arimcbeth6890]

Patrick D big brain

[@markdouglas1601]

Well not crack but ya

[@AlyssaFajardo17]

Honestly, this is an accurate representation of middle school DARE classes

[@lilbert3713]

No Just no

[@colleta2400]

Nasim Pedrad is really under rated comic...She is hilarious

[@gSlover4reel]

She was so great. They didn't use her talents enough on the show

[@jonhohensee3258]

Gee, another "he/she is underrated" comment. How unique.

[@JIF882]

​@jonhohensee3258 don't be a hater

[@JasonDelarosa2000]

And is hot

[@user-rs2li9cc8y]

“I be like, SMOKE THAT CRACK!” Lol I died of laughter!

[@jaimerodriguez5005]

I wish snl did more of shallon on the show. Freaking hilarious!

[@chaoticbailey4171]

Me to, me to

[@rainbowpearlvlogsandanimations]

They don’t do them anymore... I wish they did!

[@sofiapetro7819]

Jaime Rodriguez yes

[@totally_mundane3608]

Jaime Rodriguez me too

[@maeve572]

I agree with you, but the main reason i liked your comment was cause it made it a solid 400

[@abdulmohtishahine3194]

Its so poetic that Seth Rogen is the officer warning others about the dangers of drugs.👍👍👍👍🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@trevorphilips5252]

That’s Super bad

[@LexandKayYoureGeye]

Shallon is the best recurring SNL segment. And she makes a good point about the pacing herself part.

[@mrspettitt1984]

"Officer Sir,I am straight up addicted to Chips Ahoy cookies! I don't eat cookies all the time! I have learned to pace myself and that's how ill treat my crack!" I DIED AND AD A HEART ATTACK! XDDD

[@countingsnowflakes6800]

ARMYYYYHYH

[@mar2d258]

Army!!!

[@jackysky1139]

I mean she aint wrong

[@milascave2]

Jam: Oh my God! I'm so glad you swruvived that horrible expereince. You know, eating all those cookies and smoking all that crack may have led to that problem.

[@accidentalmadness1708]

The heart attack's from smoking crack

[@jeremycooper8599]

Shallon is one of my favorite characters. These are HILARIOUS.😂😂😂

[@joseesparza3312]

"Im A Drug Dealer..Ah The Hero Of The Story"😂😂

[@blancarose6826]

"THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!" best line ever

[@celestus87]

I actually have said these very words to a drug dealer.

[@robertjonsson684]

LOL me too, less than 6 months ago....

[@dtdimeflicks6708]

I loved that the audience laughed at the irony of Seth Rogen playing a DARE officer.

[@asoulwithnoking]

Wow shallon CRACKS me up😂😂

[@chaoticbailey4171]

I got the joke! Ur hilarious.

[@ropeadopaderp]

I love her pointing and thumbs up lol

[@bellamae9536]

sHUT YOUR EVER FLAPPING GOBTALKER

[@ItsEliza5]

THIS IS THE COMEDY POLICE Weed need to take you down to the station

[@letsparty3106]

Ha ha ha 😂😂😂

[@AdonMaster]

"QUIT PLAYING GAMES DOUG, BE A MAN AND PUT A RING ON IT!" - Random kid

[@OldHumbleDistillingCompany]

Shallon’s lines and inflection reminds me of the late great Mitch Hedberg

[@TsetsiStoyanova]

Dare was in force when i was in high school

[@TheTurkaderr]

Me too, I don’t think I got that damn t shirt though

[@gator9339]

They dared me to do drugs

[@TheTurkaderr]

Senior Batman hey don’t drag us into that !! No way the DARE program was run by the local cops and DEA, which is why the acting was always so bad! If they HAD gotten real out of work actors, then the kids would have stayed off drugs ! Lol

[@tabletennisrubysuet]

I don't think the program ever worked

[@bubblepop1009]

They did dare in middle school for me

[@thenightengaleworld9576]

My favorite lines: "So far so gooood!" "Wait, hold up, So you're saying if Iget high I'll feel like I got an A on my spelling test even if I got an F? Sign me up, man." "Smoke that crack!!" "Sir, I am ADDICTED to Chips Ahoy! Cookies. And I don't eat them all the time. I've learned to restrain myself from them. So I'll do the same with my crack." "Wow! BIG day for crack!"

[@globedrifters1049]

No thank you, I only do crack. - best line ever

[@theSemiChrist]

The actual effects of the D.A.R.E. program.

[@cl759]

Truer word has never been spoken. The schools should do what it says on the tin - get education.

[@coolbrett]

Of course. Seth Rogen doing a sketch about drugs..

[@JRM_-yq5ed]

Brett Wilson I don’t get it

[@BreakTheBeat852]

Julian Games and More he frequently smokes weed

[@JRM_-yq5ed]

ShadowPT oh

[@tiocfaidharla4256]

@@BreakTheBeat852 look at his profile pick, he's clearly around 10😂😂

[@susiezienko8219]

shallon: you are one adorable cop man officer: *concernd smile* ok then...

[@TheKorfish]

This is really on the nose satire on how the dare program has created more drug users than prevented them from using them in the first place.

[@bstmeg5237]

David Sadowski how so ?

[@bstmeg5237]

My dare program was great never touched drugs except weed and made my own decision about it there is a reason drugs are illegal not just because the government is corrupt believe it or not corrupt governments keep you safe to make you think they have your best interests in mind if you wanna do crack go for it rott your brain and insides

[@JamesSmith-vk2ky]

David Sadowski Yup.

[@Jason-fb6jo]

David Sadowski Yea the dare program was a fail.

[@christopherayettey4390]

What?🤣🤣

[@kev68ify]

I died at "No thank you, I only do crack!"

[@kawaiipotato7841]

LOL me too

[@tenpenthouse]

Bobby is really underrated - he was so good in so many skits (and as Panda)

[@jonhohensee3258]

Gee, another "he/she is underrated" comment. How unique.

[@JIF882]

​@jonhohensee3258 don't be a hater

[@NelliKuukeriful]

Shallon rocks. So funny. Also very good in the sketch where Edward Norton warns the class about talking to strangers.

[@jonhohensee3258]

Edward Norton?

[@derrickpatterson2195]

"The hero of our story!" lol part always makes me laugh

[@christineferreira2181]

Kate can play a broken teacher for just a couple scenes and still be great. 😃

[@olliesweirdworld]

Kate is always great

[@mandohernandez6039]

Student: Miss Finley? Can we take recess early and go find crack? Miss Finley: ... *Sure just follow the line leader*

[@Itsgabbycoster]

i dont think seth rogen has ever said "dont get high and dont do drugs" ever in his life

[@drivewaystar6485]

That's the irony of the sketch

[@marleneg7794]

Irony.

[@bjrns.saaiman6293]

This was probably torturous for him to do.

[@skinsey85]

But... I just heard him say that lol

[@tarampryce1372]

This is one of the best SNL characters to come out in I don't even know how long

[@matthewb9241]

“Woooooowwww, this is a big day for crack!” LMFAO

[@theredball]

I love how I always scroll past a quote as its happening

[@Im_gonna_blow_up_your_house]

Just saying now do crack wow this helped me with my alcoholic problem

[@zero-op6wq]

"No Thank You! I Only Do Crack!" BAHAHA :D 😂😂😂😂

[@solastacey127]

the irony of *seth rogen* playing the dare cop is incredible

[@elmirseyfullayev93]

"The hero of the our story " lmao

[@gorkie6998]

that cracked me up

[@xBlackKnightx]

buchapkns m X lol 😂😂😂😂

[@vegetables1593]

Ur bad

[@stephenhildrew7362]

No!!!!!!

[@carlosvazquez5836]

buchapkns nice play on words

[@A-_-A.]

buchapkns Goddammit I was gonna say that 😂

[@ArtemisCaine]

“Crack’s the new ice cream!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ryvverrayne9113]

"Oh, crack's the new ice cream!" Heh, i think i'm going to die XD

[@emmettraphael7540]

D.A.R.E. : Drugs Are Really Excellent.

[@maple-leaf8816]

Emmett Raphael 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@eseabner2154]

Nah, It’s stands for: Drugs, are, Really, Expensive

[@mtcabral2]

Underrated comment

[@dbdmskxn1525]

Yes

[@szafan777]

*_yeet_*

[@Matty.B]

This was literally the D.A.R.E. program irl. Aaah the 80s

[@TheLovelySheri]

Cracks the new ice cream 🍚🍦 😂😂🤣🤪

[@seanvti]

Literally read this as it was said :L

[@dlo2048]

⚬+🍦=🍧

[@durotimimafe8984]

Captain Apollo so...?

[@seanvti]

Durotimi Mafe it was a funny coincidence to me, if you dont care move on, simple as lol

[@petecarroll9492]

Hi Sheri

[@maxlol6336]

"I'll play the drug dealer-" Other dood- "the HERO of our story." im ded XD

[@darrenaspinall3481]

"No i only do crack" made me burst out laughing

[@gametime8284]

I laughed so hard when she said "no thank you I only do crack"

[@c.z.johnson3266]

"Quit playing games Doug, be a man and put a ring on it!" 😂😂😂

[@cocogach1408]

I can’t even 😭☠️

[@MovieManOfPetersham]

I'm sorry but I want Shallon vs Gilly!!!

[@TheCstar07]

Matthew St Vincent Dont be sorry just say now... to crack

[@seanvti]

....what?...

[@benkeystone5696]

I want them to meet

[@Evilsaint1022]

haven't watched enough snl to get that

[@seanvti]

ok lol

[@rappers6331]

This class would be lit😂

[@re_sushi5695]

I agree bro

[@Silverdiamond22]

Rappers I want to be in this classroom. 😂

[@randomuserudidntknowexisted]

This is my class at school

[@_galaxyeliza_3595]

It looks like the background is girl meets world

[@maggiee639]

LITERALLY!

[@IDDQDSound]

Nasim Pedrad is one of the most underrated cast members of all time!

[@stephanieburgess9012]

1:48 made laugh my head off and the girl behind her, “she gets it!”

[@bernsteinficklesmith493]

No Thank You I only do Crack

[@rage_of_aquarius]

"drugs are okay as long as you pace yourself!!" Shallon has a very similar philosophy to my sophomore health teacher 😂

[@dielaughing73]

I mean, it's a more useful message

[@swaypaul763]

Look at that smile, you are one adorable cop man. 😂 lol 😂. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@l0litsl3x65]

Favorite character: *Shallon*

[@waynej2608]

A big day, for Nasim!

[@krooked_kraken9976]

Mine is the teacher

[@montanaelkwhisperer1744]

It's absolutely awesome how they do this sketch by the exact same formula every time.

[@thegreaterg8r148]

"UNWIND with crack" She is clearly very confused

[@pigeoninapeartree4107]

I guess it has different effects for everyone... 😂

[@hxneymon7415]

“OK I PICK MY MOM’S BOYFRIEND, DOUG!”

[@andypan5396]

This is the first SNL Skit I have ever watched... Gotta come back every year.

[@sterlingarcher2187]

Shallon is Louise from Bob’s Burgers IRL.

[@Sassynbluntaf]

Sterling Archer with a little Mabel thrown in

[@leighannachizmarik907]

Hes talking about smoking then i see your profile pic lol

[@robbieredrum5953]

🤣

[@BobbySacamano]

Everyone seems to like saying "(this person) is (so and so) from Bob's Burgers." This one isn't even close.

[@angelstime3895]

She is

[@Fuliginosus]

I miss Nasim Petrad.

[@MelanieLaurentFan]

me too she was too short

[@arturoherrera2836]

+Seba Sea she was a Madtv level too much for this show

[@badfoody]

+frost muse she quit voluntarily though

[@mikaylaquon3005]

frost muse is being MadTv level good or bad? When you say she was too much for SNL I think you mean she's too good for the show? I love her ! She's great in scream Queens and I forgot where I knew her from because she was so believable the crazy secret villain. Also of course she would have left voluntarily. The other option is her getting fired That's another thing that threw me off was the "though" at the end of that sentence.

[@SkylarPro]

Mikayla OMG I had NO idea SHE was the same chick villain from Scream Queens! I'm overly excited because I'm obsessed with SQ and she looks soooo different there and here that I had doubts even after googling everything o_O I can hardly believe it's just a matter of blond vs brown hair, it's so strange!

[@devans2254]

"thanks for the opportunity." 😂

[@genevieve_anne]

Nasim is so freakin adorable

[@waynej2608]

She's pretty sweet.

[@obask232]

“WOW BIG DAY FOR CRACK”-😂😂😂😂

[@ms.frizzleee4360]

"QUIT 'PLAYIN GAMES DOUG, BE A MAN AND PUT A RING ON IT!!!"

[@oo-tf6cl]

"she get's it," XD

[@rebecca436]

Ikr!

[@findlayrobertson4985]

I will play the drug dealer *THE HERO OF OUR STORY*

[@tiffanysweetness4678]

The Shallon sketches are some of my favs.

[@jstark1992]

Crack isn’t the new ice cream. Cuz Meth is!😂

[@Katie-mw7pd]

Checking in from Boston... heroin is the new ice cream!

[@davidbasa9985]

But shallon only does crack

[@lust4Iife]

Kati e omg hi Demi Lovato

[@galacticscholarconsciousness]

Nasim Pedrad.....BRAVO! I felt "Mitch Hedberg" channeled and well expressed.

[@insertclevername4123]

My first thought. "I used to do drugs. I mean, I still do, but I used to, too."

[@thingsifind1310]

Kenan is such OG! hope he stays forever 😀

[@solarflare157]

"Sure just follow a line leader*

[@ShubhamRajdhar]

Did everyone miss the ending "Sure, just follow a line later"

[@johnindigo5477]

Sounds like ms krabappel

[@rqiniixx9344]

She said "Sure, just follow a line LEADER."

[@patrickbutler2391]

"So drugs are kind of like a treat for a special occasion!" No...... no

[@_galaxyeliza_3595]

“ I FEEL LIKE IM ON TOP OF THE WORLD BABY! “ same 🤣🤣

[@ZaynBrando]

MORE SHALLON!!!

[@marimbasolo8306]

EmziiZemzii yess she's so funny

[@twhalen25]

EmziiZemzii Hell yes

[@Kira-bo2lq]

Book Snake what do you mean acting black? Just out of curiosity

[@freakenjew]

@Book Snake ima throw you a shovel.

[@freakenjew]

@Book Snake yeah you can go ahead and keep that shovel.

[@oy_1175]

Thanks for the opportunity🎉😊

[@jagpauldhillon]

Man I miss Nasim Pedrad on SNL, she was hilarious, especially as Shallon! 😂👏🏽🙌🏽

[@almostagamer_ttv5085]

"If i finish my timestables and i release a little bit of watching a half hour of tv and a little bit of crack" HOW DO U DO IT SNL.😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘