Shame and Guilt: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Рет қаралды 53,990

Күн бұрын

June Tangney, professor of psychology at George Mason University, delves into shame and guilt by looking into various facets of our society such as the criminal justice system, children, families, incarcerated offenders, teachers and parents. Shame and guilt are often mentioned in the same breath as moral emotions that inhibit destructive, socially unacceptable behaviors, but how similar are these two emotions? Recent research indicates that guilt is the more adaptive emotion and can motivate people to behave in a moral, caring, socially responsible manner. In contrast, feelings of shame (about the self) can easily go awry. Discover more about this intriguing research, what it reveals and how it relates to our society.

Пікірлер: 51

@AlexandriaRohn 9 жыл бұрын

14:50 What is the difference between shame and guilt? Shame: Feel bad about themselves. "How could *I* have done that?" Guilt: Feel bad about a specific behavior. "How could I have done *that*?" 16:26 When people feel shame they want to hide. They're thinking of what others think of them. 16:50 When people feel guilt they feel a sense of remorse over a certain event. In contrast to hiding, people who are guilty want to take action to remedy their guilt. 19:12 Five different areas where shame and guilt are not equally moral or adaptive emotions: 1) Motivation 2) Empathy 3) Anger and Aggression 4) Deterring Immoral Behavior 5) Psychological Symptoms 25:25 People describing a shame experience don't seem empathic. They don't talk about other people's feelings. But when they describe a guilt experience they describe other people's emotions. 26:00 Shame has a connection with anger and aggression. People prone to shame are more likely to blame other people. Shame is really a defensive response. It's a way to get out of the shame response and put the blame on others. 29:48 Proneness to shame is completely unrelated to how one behaves. Those who felt shame didn't live any more moral. Oppositely, those who felt guilt lived a more moral life. 31:35 Does proneness to guilt come with a psychological cost? No, not really. People who felt guilt about something without generalizing it to the self are pretty resilient. Proneness to shame is linked with potential depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc. 33:19 How do people develop a guilt prone style and how do they fall into the pit of a shame prone style? 35:00 Correlation of proneness to shame or guilt between parent and children: .10 Practically no correlation. 37:20 Children who were shame prone were less likely to apply for college, less likely to engage in safe sex, more likely to use drugs, and less likely to have been in jail. Children who were guilt prone had opposite effects. 47:45 GMU Prison Study. Primary questions: 1) Can shame and guilt help predict recidivism? 2) Can interventions targeted at shame and guilt help improve recidivism? 52:06 Initial findings from prison study: Shame and guilt can be validly assessed in an inmate population. There's a lot of variance in inmate's capacity for shame and guilt. 59:23 Shame plays no role in post-release recidivism. Guilt played a modest but statistically significant role in improving post-release recidivism. 1:05:10 Practical implications of this research on guilt and shame 1:05:30 Parents: Minimize shame and humiliation of children. Call children's attention to the harm they've done in an attempt to spur empathy. Induce guilt wisely. Help develop plan for children to make amends. 1:07:37 Teachers: Minimize shame and humiliation of children. Promote Carol Dweck's "Mastery Orientation". 1:11:13 Three final take home points: 1) There are good ways and bad ways to feel bad 2) Guilt is the moral emotion of choice 3) You don't have to feel really bad to be a good person

@trinidivasd2829 6 жыл бұрын

thank you sir... here's your cookie for being awesome!

@ericross5048 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you very much!

@rockysingh9979 Жыл бұрын

your awsome!

@devidaughter7782 Жыл бұрын

"you don't have to feel really bad to be good" (1:11:25) - it's only in the last minute of this presentation that she brings up religion, and to me this is one of the most important factors in creating shame - eg. "for all have sinned . . ." and all the songs about being 'wretched' and 'undeserving'... it is religiously induced shame that I'm most interested in learning about, as well as shame that comes from early experiences of abuse; I guess I'll need to keep looking....

@TrueNorthGuidance1 3 ай бұрын

How are you doing with your journey as of today? I hope all is well.

@devidaughter7782 3 ай бұрын

@@TrueNorthGuidance1 thanks for asking - so kind of you! I found a good therapist who is able to hold space for conversations about shame and religion. I go to see him tomorrow in fact, and having this space is tremendously helpful!

@2brunhilda 2 жыл бұрын

She’s explaining my shame

@Midnightdarkness-jr2yz 4 жыл бұрын

I'm a 15 year old girl here came here to watch this because of the guilt I have carried for past week, I am willing to forgive myself I just want to be able to go to that person for forgiveness.

@devidaughter7782 Жыл бұрын

did you do so, and if so, how did it go?

@JamesPaulWhite 12 жыл бұрын

The study tested whether where the parents fell on the shame-to-guilt scale predicted where their children would be. The lack of correlation is a bit surprising since children are so good at adopting their parents' behaviors, regardless of what the parents say the children should do. She didn't talk about any research showing what actually does lead to one orientation or the other. That the parents' measure on this scale has so little influence suggests innate temperament is a big factor.

@potugadu5160 9 жыл бұрын

What a great lecture. You will get more out of the lecture if you, while watching the video, relate/apply what Prof Tangney said to yourself and other persons from your life. I found out, not surprisingly, that I am a guilt prone person & not shame prone --I am happy about it. Thank you for uploading the lecture.

@cybermone 10 жыл бұрын

very touching, highly interpretative, not unlike cloud watching, and completely ignores that the justice system has to get somebody, rooooooooooooooaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

@berber4753 4 жыл бұрын

27:39 and I'm convinced. I was very skeptical of the suggested correlation between shame and blaming others, because shame is such an internalized, self destructive emotion in my experience, but hearing it described as a defensive response to shame- it clicked. I bet that your more self- aware shame-prone participants would admit that in that moment, the desire to rid themselves of that overwhelming, toxic feeling supersedes all else (including empathy). The ones with emotional dysregulation will be the ones to bury it with anger.

@tinaa140 3 жыл бұрын

That might be what happens with narcissism and abusers

@berber4753 3 жыл бұрын

@@tinaa140, that could be. I was thinking of my own past behaviors, which were attributed to borderline personality disorder rage (BPD rage). So not Narcissistic PD, and I was never physically abusive, but there's a lot of overlap between the two, and I was mentally and emotionally abusive. I longer experience BPD rage, and I'm considered recovered from the PD, but it doesn't erase the pain I inflicted.

@emmyboo90 2 жыл бұрын

Well said- that’s spot on.

@achimkoenig 11 жыл бұрын

My father all my life tells me things like he should have wanked me into the brook, I felt so terrible I've hidden from life all my life, so now I speak nine languages, because its easy to just read the dictionary all the time its not really complex when you're depressed. I'm so glad I'm becoming aware that the cause is this perpetual shaming. I am a total recluse, avoiding nearly all contacts. I wish I could communicate with someone who has an interest in this.

@devidaughter7782 Жыл бұрын

thank you for sharing! you are not alone in pulling inward to self-protect, and finding the intellect a safe space while interactions with others can be triggering; I can totally relate to this! oh, and btw, speaking 9 languages is AMAZING!

@frv6610 6 ай бұрын

You have symptoms of toxic shame, everyone has it to some degree but not everyone is aware of it. I knew about the term but didn't how bad its effect is so today I watch specifically videos about it. Hope you become free from the toxic shame.

@frv6610 6 ай бұрын

@@devidaughter7782 Nice reply. Who is devi?

@devidaughter7782 6 ай бұрын

devi means goddess in Sanskrit, and Sanskrit-based languages@@frv6610

@portlandgeek 12 жыл бұрын

No clear simple answer that parenting skills have no connection with shame? Is that what she said? I'm confused. I'm looking at the shame within me and how it has affected how I deal with relationships and other people. My adopted mother shamed me on a daily basis. I like what Alexiytag wrote...'shame is humiliated pride'. While I like what Tangney says and her research, I was actually stumped when she said this.

@emmyboo90 2 жыл бұрын

Incredible talk. Brilliant. This gave me such insight.

@JamesPaulWhite 12 жыл бұрын

The way I think of the difference is simple. Shame is feeling that I am a bad person. Guilt is feeling that I did a bad thing.

@iindiar 4 жыл бұрын

I've had deep shame all of my life and am tired of it.

@tinaa140 3 жыл бұрын

Try a CoDA meeting

@elizabethtorrence1186 2 жыл бұрын

Such good information.

@potugadu5160 9 жыл бұрын

What % of population, at least in USA, is shame prone? Is it possible to get that kind of data from Internet about any countries or any demographics? My strong guess is collectivist countries like India, China and other collectivist countries in Asia and other continents are overwhelmingly shame prone.

@okiown2 11 жыл бұрын

i watched the entire thing and found this very interesting , i walked away from it realizing that I am a very shameful person.... i feel horrible for being a shameful person ..... anywayz nice watch

@devidaughter7782 Жыл бұрын

thank you for sharing; I can relate! feeling shame can make us feel more ashamed of having shame - a vicious cycle!

@fevvral 2 жыл бұрын

0:10 track ID??? Banger

@RipTheJackR 10 жыл бұрын

If you liked this, check out the paper of Robert Trivers which touches on reciprocal altruism. Im just 1min into this video though, but I have an idea of what the subject will be.. moralistic aggresion and emotions linked to social interactions. Edit: as someone with some degree of competance in biology Id have to say that shame and guilt is certainly not uniquely human, and doesnt need any "societal standards", just "strategy standards" in individual organisms which MAY emerge as a collective "societal standards", she sounds too much of a sociologist imho. Primatologists may be able to tell you the same. Shame: When you display emotions to repair a social relationship Guilt: When you worry about being a target of moralistic aggression or just pure aggression from fellow bipedal and hairless apes.

@v838monocerotis9 4 жыл бұрын

So basically since I'm shame-prone, then I really am a piece of shit

@TheCerberusInferno 5 жыл бұрын

Lol lol i wanted to see a spaghetti movie and now i'm here by mistake

@justmadeit2 10 жыл бұрын

Guilt and shame are such shitty emotions, they are the worst, they can lead to massive depression, shame is a certain trigger for depression. I suffer it and i hate it so much, ive not done anything bad like killed anyone or anything really bad like some sickos out there do, but theres an over exagerated guilt over some stuff, and i know its illogical.. So i try and avoid certain things. Am i the only one like this ??

@S_alva 10 жыл бұрын

Buddhist idea of dealing with guilt seems to be very close to truth. It goes this way. first of all, separate your present self from that self which committed the mistake of hurting somebody.. let's call that self as Mr. A. And let's call the third party which was hurt as Mr.B. Now stand back and observe Mr. A and Mr. B. And suddenly you realize that the one who needs our kindness is Mr. A because he is the one who is suffering now. Mr. B is not in the picture at all. Now all you need to do is to forgive Mr. A. The repentance has washed away the sin.

@justmadeit2 10 жыл бұрын

wannabe withgod That sounds good in theory, not always so easy to do, though i agree with the sentiments.

@S_alva 10 жыл бұрын

yes, I agree, not at all easy. you will have to postmortem the incident to bits. never try push the matter under the carpet until your conscience understands your misery and gives the verdict.