Should Sons Be Raised Differently? Fathers vs Daughters | Middle Ground

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[@mollybrown8361]

to call young girls a tease...that made me extremely uncomfortable.

[@Rundvelt]

No, he said that young girls like to tease. And they do. What he was saying that is those actions can be misinterpreted by boys. Which they almost always are. And if that boy is a piece of human garbage, bad things may happen. It's not saying that you're responsible for what the outcome is, but it's saying be careful and avoid pitfalls by being aware that boys are running on testosterone and are more likely to be criminals. Because they are.

[@skylerwhiteyo5467]

And that’s on sexualizing women😗✌️

[@lylaabogoda8166]

@@Rundvelt no they don't.

[@wxvycombos6999]

@@lylaabogoda8166 yes they do😭they will wear certain clothes flirt just to flirt “for fun”, that’s leading on/teasing

[@valbuilds5764]

@@wxvycombos6999 No. She's not asking for it. A 15 year old wearing a crop top for fun is leading on/teasing?

[@metaloopa6907]

This conversation would have been very different if they weren’t related.

[@mysticstrikeforce5957]

Then there will be no point to this video then.

[@metaloopa6907]

@@mysticstrikeforce5957 this video is about expressing differing opinions, and the fact that they were related hindered the daughters from expressing what they were truly feeling in fear of what their fathers might think.

[@qwertyasdf4081]

@@metaloopa6907 yeah true, I wish Citlalli spoke more, she seemed very apprehensive and nervous. She clearly doesn’t have the greatest relationship with her father and that greatly hindered her ability to speak her mind.

[@vaibhavmukherjee9830]

@@qwertyasdf4081 my 14yo self was also awkward with my family and I dont think you need to have a bad relationship for that. If you're a teenager who doesn't have any problems with family relationships, you're an exception.

[@qwertyasdf4081]

@@vaibhavmukherjee9830 I mean she decided on her own to live with her mom all the time, I think it’s safe to assume some things.

[@nana-wb2xh]

woman: *exists* brian: “she’s such a tease”

[@amelias642]

Brian enRaGeD me

[@amelias642]

And ben

[@areyamirinbruv]

@@amelias642 why Ben you mug

[@amelias642]

@@areyamirinbruv Cus his daughter was clearly really uncomfortable around him and he kept tryna gaslight her and be all over the top with being nice to her to get her to go back to him but clearly she was happy with her decision to stay with her muk

[@amelias642]

*mum

[@tam0964]

"Don't 'protect' your daughters, educate your sons." I love this saying, but of course you need to protect and educate both.

[@maxpowers4436]

You love the saying yet its completely wrong. Righto.

[@synlion]

It’s like saying “advise people to not wear expensive jewelry in high crime neighborhoods? nah, just teach criminals not to steal.” It’s completely removed from reality. You don’t have to teach boys not to rape. They aren’t born rapists that have to be trained out of that mindset. Make girls and women stronger and less vulnerable instead of denying reality to protect their naivety.

[@vampire_bat2762]

@@synlion people need to learn to keep themselves safe, as well as learning not to abuse people. A lot of rapists dont think they’re wrong, so something needs to change in the way these people are raised and taught. In the same way murder still happens but we are actively taught not to do it, and if we do we are punished, we should be taught that for rape and abuse and it would reduce it. Coming from experience some people are allowed to get away with their bad behaviour early on and it leads to them severely hurting others, but if they were taught early on that those actions are hurtful it might have not happened.

[@anoria6739]

@@synlion teach both.

[@synlion]

@@vampire_bat2762 Do you have any examples of normal people murdering others and thinking they were perfectly justified? "Coming from experience some people are allowed to get away with their bad behaviour early on and it leads to them severely hurting others" Yes, immature, antisocial, violent, abusive or generally "bad" people tend to produce those kinds of tendencies in their offspring. We can't change that though. It's a constant. We can only ever influence the people within our reach.

[@dulapeep1450]

Ok so the dad wouldn’t let his 20 year old daughter live with her boy best friend but if he had a 20 year old son, he would let him live with his girl best friend. What kind of logic is that?

[@montewilkins279]

Right and he said it with such confidence too as if it wasn’t hypocritical at all 😂

[@MsDudette21]

right? as if her not living with a dude would stop her from having sex. to me when men have this mentality it says that it's ok for the guy to have sex risking having a baby cuz they won't have to deal with it. but the girl does and she will be stuck with the baby. to me the double standard encourages that its ok to be a deadbeat dad if that were to happen. men need to stop seeing ther adult daugthers as innocent little girls. it never really occurs to them that maybe they want sex too. and ik this girl said she is just friends with the boy. im not saying she wants to have sex with her guy friend. but this dad clearly sees her as innocent but in reality she is an adult. women have sexual feelings too. shoot, we might even initiate the sex ourselves!

[@RaNd0mGaMeRzZ]

Fathers are really overprotective with daughters but want their sons to be complete chads (for the most part). They know what guys enjoy (from their own lived experience), so they try to encourage them to pursue that. They also know what guys can be like, so try to protect their daughters from that also. Its counterintuitive but unless the masses change (which is very unlikely), they're achieving their goals.

[@chill6445]

@laura facts

[@lani9294]

@laura thank you!

[@jadarogers4892]

Citlalli seems like she needs a big sister hug

[@girlybrainrot]

honestly 💔 she seems to be quite oppressed by her father. It doesn’t seem like she’s allowed to express herself often, without reprimanding. He is very sweet and understanding to her here but it sounds like they don’t get along and argue a lot. She said she doesn’t know how to handle her anger with him, and that what she gives is reciprocated, which sounds like they can’t talk about her emotions without his escalating with hers. This whole interview he kept bringing up how she left him and went to live with her mother. How much it HURT HIM, and hes essentially making her feel guilty for leaving a situation that gave her a lot of anxiety and stress. She said herself she feels better with her mom, and he keeps bringing up how much her decision hurt him.

[@xfairyskyes]

We have the same name and yes I feel that too, she reminds me so much of myself

[@maliahmae4758]

i got you to 1k likes ur welcome shawty

[@ale-dl2tl]

@@girlybrainrot yea, i got the same vibe and it just seems so childish and egoistic to behave like that when your own daughter is telling you she cant be with you anymore. i hope that with this video, they open up a conversation and come to terms.

[@wellmindyourbusiness4409]

Exactly I wish I could hug her and tell her she is beautiful 🥺

[@cinnamonsugarroyale]

I don’t know why fathers are so obsessed with their daughters sex lives. It’s borderline pedophilic. And also assuming a woman would sexually hook up with any man ever is pretty demeaning, they aren’t just going around sleeping with every man they see. They can have platonic relationships??

[@cinnamonsugarroyale]

@@micahhumdinger7473 And no decent woman wants a dude that would think less of them for having sex. I definitely wouldn’t want a guy that wouldn’t be with me or be respectful to me due to me having sex, a basic human nature. Plus, men are praised for having a ton, so why can’t women? Because men need to control them? People need to realize women can do whatever they want. It’s not other’s jobs to decide what makes them “respectable”, or what they can do.

[@cinnamonsugarroyale]

@@micahhumdinger7473 literally quoting my original comment, “And also assuming a woman would sexually hook up with any men ever is pretty demeaning,”. I’m not saying I want to or any woman wants to hook up with anybody. If they want to, they can, it’s not my place to say anything or judge. But it’s also definitely not their fathers place to be involved. It’s creepy. But women still deserve respect no matter how many people they’ve had sex with. Everybody deserves respect. Glad we’re able to have a civilized conversation.

[@cinnamonsugarroyale]

​@@Viewable11Men are just as responsible for pregnancy. The child is still theirs if the woman is pregnant. Plus, there’s also abortions. Stop thinking men are on a higher pedestal. And even with all of that, there’s no reason fathers should be that obsessed with their daughter’s sex life. It’s disgusting that ANYBODY but the woman is concerned about her sex life. It’s NOBODY’S place to talk, especially people who see women as objects to just have sex with and throw away with no consequences. Like you.

[@Viewable11]

@@cinnamonsugarroyale Of course a man who impregnates a woman is responsible for the pregnancy and child they fathered, but that does not automatically make him _fulfill_ his responsibility. Ever heard of involuntarily single mothers? Ever heard of fathers which cannot financially or emotionally support the family? Also, abortion is a traumatic event which should be avoided if possible (e.g. by contraception). Of course a father should _not_ be obsessed with the sex life of their daughter, but it's irresponsible to claim that a parent _must not_ be concerned about the sex life of its child. Sex contains dangers: sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy, rape, emotional abuse, unwanted binding to the newborn child's father (because he is not a good partner), overburdening by the child because of immaturity of the mother or father, loss of education, financial stress, etc. I do not think that _"men are on higher pedestal."_ And I do not _"see women as objects to just have sex with and throw away."_ Nothing I wrote gave the slightest hint that I had this opinion. I wrote about the reality that women enter risks that men do not because they can evade potential effects of sex, which women can't or don't want to evade. It appears that you refuse to accept the _message_ and instead attack the _messenger._ You impute viewpoints onto me that I do not have and you make harmful false allegation against me, which *reflects very poorly onto yourself* .

[@jullyantoniassi9012]

@@micahhumdinger7473 Who let you speak on behalf of "decent men"? Because to me it's very clear that a decent man is not going to use a woman's "sexual background" to classify her as respectable or not, so by your opinions I don't even consider you part of this group of decent men, let alone like the representative of them. lol I also think that no one should be praised, male or female, for being sexually active, but neither should they have any negative labels placed on them for that. Someone's sex life is something very private, and as long as it's not used to hurt someone (such as intentionally transmitting a sexual disease, raping or when it's adultery), that person's sex life should never be used to hurt them either. (like saying that men are less men because they are not sexually active or that women who are sexually active are not decent). I think men who care so much about other people's sex lives have some problem with their own sex life, so they should try to resolve their personal issues rather than meddle with others.

[@gabymur19]

Kinda hate hearing when parents say "we were close when u were young but when u became a teenager we aren't close anymore" I just hate it cause u should have raised ur child to depend on you and rely on you and it should have never gotten to the point where ur kid feels like they disappointed you by being themselves. It really shifts the blame on them growing up instead of how the parent raised them. Makes you feel like u were wrong to grow up into the person you are instead of taking responsibility for not being a trustworthy parent.

[@rojgun6669]

Exactly!

[@yourawaffler3886]

Nah

[@palesa8777]

I hated the fact I went though puberty and I still kinda hate it

[@yourawaffler3886]

@@palesa8777 congratulations your like every other person ever

[@arbitrarylib]

Exactly

[@dulapeep1450]

I would liked it if the daughters and fathers weren’t related so they can freely talked about their perspective of their relationship

[@TheOneTonHammer]

I never got the feeling that they weren't speaking freely.

[@diegocloroxx]

It’s a video on a big channel, so I don’t think the more delicate topics would have been brought up either way.

[@TheOneTonHammer]

@@diegocloroxx but the questions we did see, certainly seemed to be honestly discussed. I don't know if they air every question they ask, and I don't think this is intended to be a public therapy session.

[@MabelRD08]

I thought it was gonna be that way; random people

[@samrawittesfai5468]

Yeah I agree, I felt like the girls wouldn't be completely honest with their dads

[@v4lentiny]

the amount of tension between citlalli and her dad is insane

[@JulieStardoll]

i felt it in my being it made me cry

[@kalenakien8036]

@@anti.bctards7376 you’re so obsessed babe, seek a therapist.

[@spacelatte4834]

i know this is totally unrelated...but.... rollingggg thunderrrr😂😂 i love nishinoya

[@v4lentiny]

@@spacelatte4834 aaaaaa yes he is best boy

[@cupcake3215]

@@anti.bctards7376 Maybe you didn’t ask but you chose to watch the vid & read it & respond to it.

[@daijaaki]

Ugh I hate when parents say “ We were close when they were a kid but once they became a teenager, our relationship diminished” or “ I miss when you were such and such age” ….why is it not your job as a parent to keep the relationship open with your child no matter what age they are and what stages they are going through? Its almost like a sense of blaming when a child can’t control the fact that they grew up and their personality changed like what

[@tangyblueberry5013]

It's less a sense of blaming and more of a sense that the parents can't keep up. Especially in these times and parents who grew up with far less than what their children have. There is a disconnection that happens as people get older. She's 14, there is still plenty of time to patch things back up, it's not always about keeping the relationship the same as it always was, but rather of learning to let go and build trust. Relationships between parents and their children change just as any other relationship if not more so when it comes back full circle when the child takes care of the parent. The worst case scenario for either of them is that 1 leaves and never comes back. A parent is let with no one to care for them when they get older. A child is left alone in the world doing their best to keep going. Uncertainty kills people slowly on the inside.

[@radioactivebeverage]

this is so weird to me! my parents always mention that while I was a cute kid, they love it much better that I'm older, because we get to talk about a lot of things, hang out and just discuss stuff, as if they are just my friends. They are super easy to get along with and they never gave me vibes that indicated anything like "im your parent, you're my child and that's all"." They always treated me like a human being and I see them as actual people instead of just parents...

[@loverneverend12]

tf kinda world u live in?

[@nolol7693]

Fr like ooooh noooo ur older now I can't believe you have your own opinions now 😨😨

[@daijaaki]

@TJ Aw thank you so much!

[@rawaa774]

“If you raise them equally they will grow to see each other as equals” THATS THE MOST ACCURATE THING I HEARD TODAY

[@manuel4340]

its not at all men and women are different and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that we can embrace it and move on and live in peace together different but in peace.

[@usernameisusernam]

@@manuel4340 there aren't many differences, just physical and small mental differences but that doesn't have much to do with how you raise them

[@alanshellykoshy112]

women are not intereted in men activities like going out or sports or drinking or stuff. Some are but the majority of women like stuff such as reading, cafes, singing, dancing etc. so its doesnt matter how much u try, they will never be equal

[@rawaa774]

@@alanshellykoshy112 They don’t need to be perfectly equal. Just treat them the same when they’re growing up, so they don’t see each other as different when they’re adults.

[@rawaa774]

@@alanshellykoshy112 Also who said the majority of women aren’t interested in “Men Activities”, and the majority men aren’t interested in “Women Activities”. Like- how is reading a “women activity”

[@katherinedelafuente6030]

did he really say that a woman cannot live with a man without there being any sexual tension yet a man can live with a woman without any romance? make it make sense. 💀

[@deobimoomoo]

It’s creepy asl bc his daughter lives with him- it’s not adding up.

[@fatboibrian9047]

the only way I think it'll make sense is if they said the opposite sex was lesbian/gay

[@dom.rockchalkjayhawk.8990]

He contradicted himself

[@boothorse512]

Like sir that's literally the same thing 👨‍🦰

[@aleksandrdostoevsky6621]

@@deobimoomoo Exactly. Disgusting.

[@poppyseed1058]

A lot of fathers raise their daughters to distrust men but then raise untrustworthy sons.

[@adbc1f72]

@PoppySeed Now that’s a very true statement of fact!

[@noor-tb8ue]

AGREED

[@zegsi364]

Parents arent to blame for a female distrusting a male... Its human nature to do so... If u trust any stranger, ur gonna have problems that u couldve avoided.

[@thefamilymealgaming]

sometimes its the mother as well tho

[@lalithrao1035]

nice fallacy lmao

[@Kalleballe3596]

The dad that said “girls like to tease” is such a creep

[@_Https.maddie]

REAL

[@crazymusicgrlcheesecake]

A lot of guys are creeps. Inadvertly proving the point, men are dangerous

[@miricalewhite7231]

Did he just say that a girl literally just sitting down and looking pretty could be considered teasing??? I’m so glad I wasn’t raised by a father like him 😭

[@Liz-abeth]

Yep, that's how victim blaming starts...he needs jail..

[@BESTEHSTUBA]

Rihanna and Beyonce would beg to differ

[@ValadrienLeonhart]

He needs to be clapped

[@IhaveALLtheavocados]

@@BESTEHSTUBA Fair enough

[@green_hedger_68]

Atleast he isn't Abusive like mom

[@elmo9991]

Teach your children to respect people. No matter the gender. Just that. Edit:Yo people chill a bit in the replies. Here, have some cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[@OzTheMexican]

The only thing we shouldn't respect is the mosquito that bites us despite the argument they're actually useful

[@chrishanks9261]

@Scarecrow 7 This is the only comment that matters that I've read.

[@jaeg3581]

Women mostly are already BEEN taught. Its just an overwhelming majority of men and women who are parents feel like they don't need to tell their sons that. Any time mom asked my brother anything, he reacted so angry and violent and I find that many guys don't wanna be told what to do and are more likely to listen to their fathers

[@OzTheMexican]

@@jaeg3581 it's both, everyone's experience is different so the only way to not make it an argument is say both. In your experience it's the guy that needs to be taught, for me, you described my sisters lashing out except they didn't listen to mother or father and if told anything would threaten their own parents with the cops and lies of abuse so Boy and girl alike need to be taught it and if not get their asses kicked till they're taught it, as simple as it can get instead of it being argued who's to blame

[@Tabby112]

@@OzTheMexican I agree boys and girls both need to be taught respect but when we look at our society as a whole it’s women and girls who receive an overwhelming amount of disrespect. Just like how one of the fathers was saying. He raises his daughter differently because of how society treats women and girls not because of anything she’s done herself. Your example is one but we can see the difference in how society treats girls in boys in simple things such as dress codes. A lot of schools and environments tend to be stricter with how girls and women dress in order not to “distract/tempt” the boys and men. While we’ve normalized the saying “boys will be boys” So where I agree with your initial statement that both should be taught respect I don’t see how anything will change if we don’t acknowledge the fact that while girls are being taught “don’t make urself a victim” and “it’s your fault anyway” while boys are being taught “boys will be boys”.

[@gaja44]

sorry but the girl is 20. Even if they wanted to hook up, she's 20 and capable of making her own choice?

[@inchw0rm]

exactly!!

[@rucha4293]

oml exactlyy

[@sweetie_babie]

Louder for the people in the back!!!!!

[@Boristien405]

If he's paying for her college or she's still dependent on him or something, it makes sense. If she's filing as an independent and lives separately from he sure, but that isn't the case for most 20 year olds and it doesn't seem like she's a disconnected adult.

[@whocares92yes18]

Why tho? Why does that matter?

[@jessicading5480]

the way these girls can’t even meet their father’s gazes sometimes during this video had no reason to hit me as hard or hurt me as much as it did

[@zakiyahmccullough2670]

For real!!! I kept wanting them to make eye contact and the lack thereof makes me get a sense of uncomfortableness from the situation bc I do the same thing

[@yrnkevinsmithC-137]

@Zakiyah McCullough Nope... that's because women feel more emotions than men

[@nymfic]

@@yrnkevinsmithC-137 aint no way

[@lilymikaelson671]

Mike was the only dad who seemed even the least bit normal. The way Ben treated his daughter raised so many red flags and the ancient dad who said "girls like to tease" that was disgusting of him. Obviously Mike should be supportive of his daughter and not try to control her sex life, she is 20 for god's sake. But at least she didn't seem as uncomfortable as the other girls. And the amount of misogynists and incels in the comments is just🤮🤮

[@lollll4004]

i agree

[@Rebekasss]

I agree with your last term so BADLY like There is a reason why I don't go to comment section about dating woman, gender equality, etc. because the comment section is always filled with guys who think that women are some kind of aliens It makes me want to puke seriously I want to kick their asses so much

[@diyahrain]

Mike is the guy with the accent lol

[@abrahamalvarez9214]

What misogynists this is jubilee ain’t no misogynists and incels here lol.

[@diabloakland]

Mike was abusive and creepy too.

[@youmadornahhh]

“I wouldn’t raise my son differently” “I’ll allow my son to have a female roommate, but not my daughter a male roommate.”

[@anti.bctards7376]

didn’t ask femmie

[@juanasoler4749]

Yes this made me so mad

[@youmadornahhh]

@@anti.bctards7376 nothing wrong with being feminine

[@serasilva8214]

Ikr? There are people in the comments being like "well a girl can get pregnant and that's more difficult" ????? Are they suggesting that the dad is assuming a son would abandon a girl if he got her pregnant? Cuz if not there is NO DIFFERENCE THERE IS STILL A POSSIBLE CHILD

[@essy404]

@@serasilva8214 that’s exactly what I said

[@toni897]

I feel like the daughters and fathers shouldn’t be related because people may be more reluctant to speak out.

[@diegoanimations9504]

Yes especially with the 14-year-old girl

[@noor-tb8ue]

Ok

[@pardalita]

Totally!!!

[@ninanano]

absolutely

[@Glory-Compass]

Good Point🤔🤔

[@charisday3846]

I have a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, pathologically lying father. Citlalli’s dad speaks to her in the exact way that mine does to me. I hope she’s ok

[@ankursachan4805]

I hope you are ok.

[@ItssssTaren]

@@ankursachan4805 same

[@Megadeadpeople]

In public he states his love but in private he’s manipulative.

[@BESTEHSTUBA]

Stop projecting

[@ellaleppanen2394]

@@BESTEHSTUBA This was the 12th comment from the top, and 5 out of those 12 pointed out he was showing signs of narcissism. I don't think that many people would be projecting, they would be picking up on red flags they see from their own experience.

[@KAMIIKAZEExx]

I feel Citalli's pain so deeply. When she cried, I cried. Daughters need their fathers, and the disconnect that often happens hurts so so deeply. You want their love and acceptance and emotional connection but they don't know how or dont want to let their walls down enough to allow a connection to form. I hope she learns one day that she is perfect the way she is, and her dads ability to show and express love isnt a reflection of her.

[@HAPPYPERSON147]

This is so well said ! I completely agree

[@jocelynschneider4172]

me too i started sobbing when she cried because i feel her pain

[@Grandmaster_Dragonborn]

Don't say that; no one's perfect, ever. Always room for improvement.

[@KAMIIKAZEExx]

@@Grandmaster_Dragonborn some men don’t want to improve. It shouldn’t take 26 years to figure it out. It’s not rocket science. It’s a choice.

[@thaliacheung653]

@@Grandmaster_Dragonborn yes, as a living person.. everybody is bound to grow, and develop. Everybody is constantly on a growing path, no matter which direction, but what they mean to say is nothing is wrong with her… you take away the main point of that message

[@AnonymousKindOf]

I can see Citallis already dreading the car ride back with her dad.

[@Wazupimanntaylor]

ikr he sounds like he puts major guilt on her for every little thing and just makes her feel bad

[@loubiebo0bie]

Me to the way she's acting and this is just speculation but I don't think he acts like this when it's just him and his daughter

[@samreenkhan8243]

Getting weird vibes from them is she like ok in the beginning atleast she looked abused

[@David-ix8fz]

So you’re just demonizing this guy based off a feeling? Who knows you might not be wrong but I thought people didn’t do this.

[@blacksheep9144]

@@David-ix8fz It was obvious he was gas lighting her she didnt even want to look him in the eyes

[@camillev9280]

I want to take a second to recognize how brave Citalli was in showing up and being so vulnerable

[@jada_sanchz]

right she’s so brave i could never

[@Rundvelt]

She was brave if she was that anxious. Although I'm sick of people calling her strong.

[@camillev9280]

@@Rundvelt I’m confused how is she not strong?

[@Rundvelt]

@@camillev9280 Do you always look at someone who's shy, meek, quiet and uncertain of him/herself as being strong? That's the opposite of strong. The problem is that people use the word "strong" to validate their own weakness or other people's weakness. If your boyfriend/husband was acting like her, you wouldn't call them strong.

[@bellyspit]

​@@Rundvelt i don't think they're calling specific qualities like being 'shy, meek, quiet and uncertain' as strong, they're saying the ability to be vulnerable is strong. which is a different thing.

[@ej9618]

As someone who grew up in a narcissistic family, Citalli’s energy and behavior strikes me as someone who has been through the same thing. Narcissistic parents often pose themselves as supportive when in the public eye, but are ABUSIVE behind closed doors. Thumbs up so there’s more of a chance of Citalli seeing this! P.S. R/raised by narcissists is a great resource for someone who relates to having a traumatic/toxic narcissistic family environment.

[@melo6005]

i agree! theres so much tension between them.. you can literally see the way she would look at him every time he would talk.. it just doesn’t sit right

[@vhxynh]

I thought I was the only one who noticed. i see myself so much between citallis relationship with her dad, her dad reminded me so much of my own and it just saddened me so much to watch them.

[@penguin5268]

Glad I’m not the only one who noticed. Her being so soft-spoken and her mannerism (ex. looking down) and the tension between them definitely brought up some concerning red flags… this is coming from someone who has experienced this type of abuse.

[@munchilvesyou.6592]

The way her dad introduced himself gave off so many red flags for me.

[@d.tt.wilding7740]

I don't want to assume anything bad about someone's dad but I too was raised with a narcissist, and this is similar to how I may act. She is just a little shier than me so where I would often rebel she seems to cower.

[@jayde8252]

Citlalli's feelings and the anxiety she feels around her dad honestly made me lose some tears. I am also 14 like her, but I'm growing up without a mother and I'm really close with my dad and I can't even imagine how she feels, but it makes me so sad..she was the only one who stepped forward when the struggled to communicate question came up.

[@DavidKume.]

Citlalli saying that she gets extreme anxiety when she's around her dad rly hurt me. I hope she's okay

[@animemangaluv13]

Me too :(

[@tjglosser5433]

She’s a weirdo

[@sandeater3098]

@T-hope hernandes she is

[@saidmohamed2940]

She is okay she is just shy

[@neema5156]

@@saidmohamed2940 it you can’t look at your parents there is obviously a problem

[@user-gz8uq3gq2g]

I don’t think men realize the way they raise they’re daughters plays a huge role on the relationship they have with them.

[@ooplsoveya4383]

so true

[@melissa4380]

Exactly they teach us to be cautious of men, so we’re taught to also be cautious of the men in our family

[@mirandachen8189]

@@melissa4380 THIS IS SO TRUE

[@user-kz8wu8yk8c]

But women do? What

[@rose-jo1dx]

I think this was stupidest comment I’ve read 😂😂

[@JKnight1316]

It’s so crazy how ppl who have experienced narcissistic abuse can immediately pick up on it like a spidey sense and everyone else is just clueless to it

[@amelias642]

I think Gabi and Mike were the healthiest father daughter relationship. The development in communication through the video was great and although Mike was a bit hypocritical and said a couple questionable things I still think he’s the best of the dads. A couple of their conversations really touched me. Citally and her dads relationship didn’t sit right with me- I think we were missing some things about why she decided to live with her mum and she was very clearly uncomfortable around him and he pretty manipulative of her. Even at the end she seemed to struggle to say something nice about what he had done for her and also seemed to have trouble telling him she loved him, the hug also seemed quite awkward. I may be reading too much into it idk. Brian and his daughter I also didn’t feel were as healthy as they were acting like- the daughter seems to feel such a sense of gratitude towards him due to him saving her from her mother that she feels obliged to take care of him and do everything for him and she is possibly sacrificing things in her own life for this- not to mention Brian having some very strange ideas about women and raising daughters vs sons. Ofc I don’t know any of these families real situations so I can’t say anything for sure but this was just my thought process watching it

[@rush_amanda]

I agree with everything you pointed out here. I also found it strange that Brian has a son 3 years older than his daughter yet she is the full time caretaker. Especially how he said the thing about, "I just say I'm hungry and she feeds me." I was like..... That's a lot

[@IhaveALLtheavocados]

Yes, I agree with everything you've said. Citally's dad especially definitely gave me some really bad vibes, and a lot of the things he said reminded me of my dad.

[@elliegrace1769]

“what if she’s just sitting there and she looks nice?” “depends” WTF??? IM SORRY WHAT SIR??

[@Magda666]

I cannot talk for him, but I'm guessing he is meaning that for some men, that can be reason enough to assault that woman. You should definately not blame the victim at all if anything like that happens, but as a parent who knows how the world is like I can imagine that you might worry about your daughter. If someone breaks into your house because you did not lock it, the other person is at fault because they had no right to break in. But knowing that there might be people around who will try to break in regarless, it will be better to lock the door. Educate your daughters but also boys about the dangers that they might face and try to protect them. Don't tell them they are not allowed to look pretty or that looking pretty is the fault in that, but tell them to be careful with strangers and teach them what to do if they feel uncomfortable in any situation.

[@filidolphini]

@@Magda666 i agree with this. girls should be taught to take care, but never shamed for being themselves or being pretty. i strongly believe boys should get way more educated about the topic as well.

[@summerbrotman4925]

For real

[@cumsock9000ontarkov]

we also have to realise that he was raised in another generation from us, where sexism was ok, and men were always seen as the breadwinners and dominate, and told to get what you want no matter what, persistence is key and no means try again.

[@queenvictoria833]

@@cumsock9000ontarkov that does not matter. there aren’t any excuses for thinking that’s ok. he needs to understand time has changed. my father was raised the same way but he is nothing like that. he’s grown he can educate himself he knows better.

[@iloveguineapigs5473]

the guy who said that "girls like to tease" and "its dangerous for chicks" is such a creep, it scares me that men like him exist and i feel so bad for his daughter.

[@stephanczapla1343]

His daughter was the happiest

[@tink6225]

@@stephanczapla1343 doesn't change anything

[@agfromdai.e3806]

He’s prolly has an incel mindset

[@deobimoomoo]

@@stephanczapla1343 that’s your opinion, and it sadly doesn’t justify what he said.

[@aleksandrdostoevsky6621]

@@stephanczapla1343 Trust me, as someone who’s had an abusive father, sometimes being happy is the only way to trick yourself into being happy.

[@queenmonty4779]

Why do parents treat sons nicer than they do their daughters

[@priscillawilson2634]

That's your opinion. I for one spent my life in a world where women were involved, educated and fun and the boys were for taking out the garbage.

[@acommonman7950]

Umm... they literally send them to die in wars.

[@sagwan6991]

My mom hates me and loves my sister so not entirely true.

[@queenmonty4779]

@@sagwan6991 is your dad on your life?

[@sagwan6991]

@@queenmonty4779 yep

[@kimpatel6478]

I love that when Gabi was talking about her hospitalization and didn't want to disclose a bunch of details her dad respected her decision and didn't reveal too much about the experience either.

[@CahyaSeptiyani]

Think it is ed

[@MissKateKatie]

​@@CahyaSeptiyanied?

[@CahyaSeptiyani]

@@MissKateKatie eating disorder

[@memeju1ce]

that 14 year old girl needs to be listened to more in her life, she’s obviously shy/anxious but she is so intelligent! she makes really strong points, i wish i could tell her how much her voice means

[@beetle-juice]

Yes!! I have a niece who is similar. Very quiet, but very wise when she talks. We need to encourage these people and give them a voice.

[@Ak-rb1vj]

I feel like a lot of her intelligence comes from observing situations, and listening to other people instead of pushing her point across all the time. Plus she is soo young, her confidence will only grow when she gets older

[@rosiesflowers6158]

I was a lot like her when I was her age and till this day I'm still a little like that i would say that anxiousness goes away just not completely i think she needs how she said space i got it and now I have a better communication with my dad and am less shy

[@zwebackshyper9307]

not really let's be honest

[@nagasaisrikarpathuri6167]

I agree but her father seems so open and living if her and she completely ignores that.

[@starshine3173]

2/3 girls barely making eye contact and keeping their heads down when talking is a huge red flag but idk....

[@rvnna]

They are teenagers, most girl teenagers are shy. What are you trying to imply...

[@avokiwicado8477]

citlili and rianna did not look like they liked their fathers comments..

[@tink6225]

citlili obviously doesn't feel safe around her dad. she said she's afraid to be angry because she's scared hell reciprocate and alarms just blared in my head. she wouldn't do something so extreme as completely leaving him if she felt ok around him

[@iheartfm2458]

@@tink6225 um yea u can totally tell what she feels from a video...she was shy and seems like she has bad anxiety that doesn't mean she doesn't feel safe around her dad??

[@ivyfrost7308]

@@WowWow-kh1rh dude. Not cool to throw out guesses like that. You could say the relationship looks strained, they girl seems anxious. But to say serious accusations like that with zero evidence is awful of you. She could be reading these comments and feel bad about such stuff

[@that1kidfayad279]

“If you treat sons and daughters equally they will see each other as equals” -Citlalli

[@abasha4356]

Sure, why have gender segregation in toilets, on the sports field, etc.? They're equals and should be treated equally.

[@that1kidfayad279]

@@abasha4356 🤓🤓🤓

[@songbirdoftheesea_21]

@@abasha4356 no not at all, you completely missed the point

[@J040PL7]

​@@songbirdoftheesea_21explain the point because maybe I missed it too.

[@hippopajamas]

Proud of Citalli for choosing to stay full time with her mother and sticking to it. A lot of the time, custody fights only benefit the parents, and that isn't fair. I wanted to be with my mom full time and my dad would NOT allow it. It was an absolute detriment to me. I hope she can heal with distance.

[@diegoanimations9504]

if a 20-year-old girl moves in with a 20-year-old guy you have a problem with it but if a 20-year-old guy moves in with a 20-year-old girl you would be completely fine WTF is that kind of logic

[@SolbreakerFinal]

RIGHT?! That was the most back-assward thing I heard in the video!

[@jaydon232]

Probably because girls can get pregnant and its hard to escape but if a boy gets a girl pregnant, he can run away. Just what I think he was thinking

[@yande_z]

Girls have more to loose

[@sigh7767]

@@jaydon232 but why not talk to your children about consequences and prepare them to avoid making mistakes?? they just don't want to deal with actually coming in to being a parents when your children need you most. what kind of father would be okay with their son getting a girl pregnant and running away? (not an attack just furthering discussion lol)

[@jaydon232]

@@sigh7767 yeah i agree with you, i think society is scared of talking about teen pregnancy even though its a very important topic that causes many young woman to throw away their education. But I think its been improving because in my school year 10(grade 9) we learn all about it and how to use protection and how not to peer pressure others.

[@sradrvr]

Dad: "I'm not letting you move in with a boy because he will want to have sex, boys and girls can't be just friends" Same Dad: "If I had a son he could move in with a girl, because boys and girls can be just friends"

[@shantaeforsmash8287]

liking your own comment PogO

[@florencedcl5095]

Same dad that was saying he wouldn't raise boys and girls differently, too smh

[@Glory-Compass]

I think he's right,I think he knows how Some of us Men are like because he grew up as a boy and knows what's in some of our Minds

[@sradrvr]

@@Glory-Compass in my opinion it's not up to a parent to decide whether or not their adult kid chooses to have sex. icky. if my parents ever questioned me about my sex life or tried to control what i did, i would've moved out even sooner lol.

[@assholebyginger]

@@Glory-Compass what is he right about? You're missing the point, it's about how he's adhering to a double standard. If you wouldn't want your daughter to be roommates with a guy, you shouldn't let your son be roommates with someone else's daughter either.

[@suraiyas2035]

Citlanni’s father is guilt tripping so hard! Like the whole thing about crying when she told him she wanted to move in with her mom. Also he didn’t really acknowledge the faults she spoke about. It was very surface level trying to save face.

[@mia-qg3im]

Definitely

[@jayangeles9461]

citlali’s dad set off so many red flags. the way he speaks to her is so demeaning and manipulative. like he said “when she made the decision it hurt me. it hurt me a lot. hurt me to the core” to try and make her feel bad about her decision and then followed it up with “but that’s what she thought was best” just makes it sound like you don’t agree with it and you wish she never made it but he doesn’t know why she would’ve done that

[@BESTEHSTUBA]

Thank you for confirming women are the only ones allowed to have feeling and please stop projecting your daddy issues

[@prolozaloser4461]

I was also hoping that he would connect the dots that his relationship with his awesome CItlali would also benefit while theyre apart just like Rianna's with her mom

[@moonchild8480]

"boys have testosterone and girls like to tease." & "what if she's just sitting there and she looks nice?” “depends” this is what leads to victim blaming. i cant believe no one objected to what he said

[@Rundvelt]

It's not victim blaming. You're not thinking about this and had knee jerk reaction. He's a father. He's saying that when you mix testosterone with youth, that things can be taken the wrong way. And they are, almost all the time. He's not excusing the behaviour, but illustrating that women need to be so much more careful because men overpower them and can put them in dangerous / horrible situations.

[@umbra014]

@@Rundvelt And that's sexist against men.

[@Rundvelt]

@@umbra014 It's also true. Things don't stop being true because they're sexist. Women are physically weaker then men is also sexist. It's also true. Now, individuals can of course be anything, a single woman can be stronger then a single man. But the worlds strongest woman isn't as strong as the world's strongest man.

[@SomeLad12]

@@Rundvelt agreed, finally someone sensible in the comments

[@skendzo4901]

Stfu m8 you have no clue about life

[@crisemmavarela7013]

citalli is so mature for her age and she’s so insecure , especially when it comes to her father and that’s so sad :(

[@najmanmahbouba3310]

If she’s insecure then how is she mature? Being mature entails knowing and being confident in yourself.

[@z72219]

@@najmanmahbouba3310 no???

[@laurafdss1578]

@@najmanmahbouba3310 no, being confident its not being mature. And being insecure does not mean youre not mature

[@Niya-gv4cf]

@@laurafdss1578 Exactly

[@jasonedwards3123]

I feel like she had a lot more to say but she was just too scared to say it. I wish I could give her a hug she seems like such a great person

[@bellawhite9094]

Personally, I think both boys and girls should be taught about the other gender’s things like puberty and reproductive systems. It doesn’t have to be weird unless you make it weird we should normalize understand our bodies and understanding each other…

[@delwarabegum2391]

Preach!

[@JuliaSoe03]

They Arent??? How? Do they spil up boys and girls, in your country, when they learn this or something? Genuenly want to know😁

[@eleanorwatson8565]

Thiss omd had this conversation w my mum in the car people make things like sex weird because it’s not normalised when it’s quite literally the only way to continue life

[@macaroni_ee]

@@JuliaSoe03 in america, boys and girls are usually split up to learn about the reproductive system and don't learn much about the opposite sex.

[@RacingPepe]

"Nothing you do will ever disappoint me" Nice one, and nothing you say will ever change her mind on how you're going to react. You don't have to sit there and defend yourself and call her behavior strange. You need to take a hundred steps back and wait for her to make those 100 steps towards you. She may never do that, and you'd have to accept that outcome as well.

[@ocean6828]

Not letting kids hang out with other kids of all genders makes no sense. If you had a bisexual kid, would you not let them have any friends?!? It’s just nonsensical

[@multi__simp2391]

Same with pansexual

[@y2kgabi]

Exactly.

[@noor-tb8ue]

Agreedd

[@AlisonL520]

Yepp not everyone has feelings for whoever. It's so annoying Besides surely if the daughter did have feelings for her best friend then that to me would be amazing, they would have a much better relationship together then a lot of couples

[@JesusPerez-pe8vk]

Their attitudes are a reaction to the opposite sex who are cisgendered. This is because of their mentality that theres a physical difference and lets be honest their anxiety goes through the rough because they're parents.

[@xmartimichellex4325]

i feel like Ben really isn’t genuine. she wouldn’t feel the way she feels if the things he’s saying in this video were actually said to her behind closed doors. i feel so bad for her.

[@layan-ox9ug]

his daughter seems like shes so sad and hurt.

[@ayeshar9290]

She’s so young too. He must have really damaged her😕

[@tink6225]

she seems terrified

[@TGShunai]

As long as you don't know the actual story between the two I don't think you should judge too much. It could just be years of miscommunication between the two that made her feel things that aren't real. Maybe he is emotionally abusive, but from this video we can't tell.

[@TGShunai]

@@deobimoomoo I can see, and I still don't know the full story behind the two. Maybe he emotionally abused her, maybe he didn't. This video isn't conclusive on that. She looks visually distressed, so she might be feeling certain pressure. But that doesn't mean that he purposely puts her under that pressure. There are so many parents and kids that don't communicate properly which leads to kids feeling pressure or parents who feel like their kids are lashing out simply because they don't understand each other.

[@BlueComputerpaper]

09:05-09:29, 12:36-13:04 You can tell Gabi has learned so much through her hospitalization. Her humility, respect for her family, and self-awareness were improved through her experiences. Mike's responses were well chosen, and gave Gabi the balanced mercy/courage she needed. We need to remember to fight for each other.

[@mirandachen8189]

gabi and mike definitely had the best relationship

[@vonnejvr4540]

I think they might have the best relationship here tbh, even though he had that little roommate double standard going on

[@adongakot4480]

How you raise your children and speak to them is SO important notice how the girl in the purple shirt sits up straight and speaks loudly and confidently and the connection she has with her dad vs Citlali who slouches, has low self confidence and cant look her dad in the eye. The parenting styles are EVIDENT and truly sad to think about.

[@briannafaagutu2434]

omfg the white dad legit said if they are sitting looking good they would be teasing wtf

[@keepinitkawaii]

Then he called them "chicks" lol sounds like maybe hes found himself looking at underage girls😂

[@oneirataxia666]

@Chapatis-01 Chapli no, girls need to be able to dress how they want to without people treating them different. If you treat someone different because of their appearance alone thats not somethung good. Also you sound like youre justifying rape, and rape can't be justified.

[@oneirataxia666]

@Chapatis-01 Chapli Some people like to dress for themselves, they don't do it for you so you shouldn't treat anyone different for finding a different way to express themselves and feel good in their body.

[@oneirataxia666]

@Chapatis-01 Chapli You do know that it doesn't matter what someone is wearing, if they're raped it is not because of what theyre wearing its because of the dirty scumbag that couldn't keep their hands of someone. Men(and some women) need to learn to control themselves and keep their hands to themselves because clothes aren't permission and no one is "asking for it." There is enough proof for my statement to be true not for yours. Clothes aren't the problem. People like you are.

[@briannafaagutu2434]

@Chapatis-01 Chapli what? Omfg. There is no way to sexualise yourself sexualising comes from the predator or person sexualising the women. Women should be able to wear whatever they want and not be expected to get cat called or raped period. The fact you think that clothing dictates men’s behaviour instead of the actual men is disgusting. Y’all need to take responsibility of your own predatory behaviours and stop blaming women for how they dress. Men are able to wear whatever they want and not be sexualised by women so why can’t y’all?

[@cole6589]

Gabi is literally 20 so why is her dad acting like she’s 15, legally she can do whatever she wants.

[@jones2277]

my parents wouldn't have been cool with that at 20 either, not unless a ring were involved. maybe expectations are changing around that. few universities had coed dorms when i was a college student and that was only 20 years ago at a public university.

[@Rundvelt]

Legally yes, but not all children become intellectual adults at the same time. Some it's 16, some it's 42. It really depends on what you're faced with and how you mature. You know nothing about the relationship and what mistakes the father or the daughter may have made. That's important for context.

[@jdragon622]

Its because she respects him

[@jones2277]

@@jdragon622 exactly!

[@idk1175]

Because she’s living under his roof, she’s still dependent on him.

[@Misseggy24]

This episode made me feel absolutely disgusted. The misogynistic values of some of these men…

[@commanderoom-9269]

Seeing those fathers be misogynistic makes me feel a little happy, but I know it’s not true happiness because there’s only one thing that could fill that void. It warms my heart. My existence and purpose in life is to spite all the groups and individuals I hate.

[@ignaciorodriguezdiaz104]

@@commanderoom-9269 you must be fun at parties

[@otisg3812]

Misogyny is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. Do you think they hate their daughters or they have some sort of contempt's against them? OR OR do you think they have more lived experience than their daughters and know better and only want what is best for them? They have a better grasp of reality? You have to first look at yourself why do you think that? what's your own experience with your dad/other men, that you feel that.

[@r.r.l.s.5538]

@@otisg3812 literally watch the video, ofc it’s different for their daughters they aren’t gonna openly hate their daughters that ridiculous but they expressed a lot of misogynistic views in almost every question.

[@otisg3812]

@@r.r.l.s.5538 I watched the same video as you. "...openly hate" How did they do this? I need you to quantify it in words so I am able to dissect it for you. "expressed a lot of misogynistic views" again vague, quantify it, as they did not by definition do this.

[@ppoottaattoo5693]

I just want to give Citalli a big hug, she's such a smart and strong woman.

[@kaya2356]

Why is nobody talking about how stylish Gabi and her dad are? 🤩

[@junenye]

They're pretty cool people

[@justjo510]

Yes! 😻

[@liltimer6149]

Because this a serious discussion lmao 😂

[@animered9575]

Or that they look completely alike. No question who the dad is with that one

[@sagetifft2864]

fr 🤩

[@TechWithShon]

Citlalli is really wise, she talks less but when she does, wisdoms rains.

[@luxannacrownguard836]

YES PERIODT.

[@Willy72070]

I wish they didn’t have her on I feel like she doesn’t really explain herself but her dad is super chill and I’m sure she’ll turn out to be a great mom someday

[@idasoderlund1030]

@@gutz.z whats your insta? :D

[@hi-tz7sh]

@@gutz.z 🥺🥺 honestly you did amazing, I loved how you portrayed your feelings and everything, ilysm

[@idasoderlund1030]

@@gutz.z i followed you! ^•^

[@patriciaespinjurado602]

I really resonate with Citalli. It’s really difficult to have a relationship with your father when he constantly has two sides. One that seems like such a people person and so relatable. The other, manipulative and saying things like “I’ll just reflect what your emotions are”, like it’s my fault that I have emotions and I’m not exactly happy every moment. I never felt safe to express my feeling because whatever I did I was always scrutinized for. So if Catelli or anyone like Catelli ever reads this I want you to know your not alone and it’s ok to have a break or separate yourself from your parent. Believe in yourself.

[@user-mt4jx1lx3g]

The end hurt me quite a lot, I can tell Citlalli must have felt alone and probably missing out when both girls could compliment and thank their fathers so graciously. I admire Citlalli for her bravery for coming up here to talk about her relationship with her dad on a big publich channel and I do hope she does find some solace from what she's been through, I heavily relate to her and still finding my own.

[@MrBLUGOLD09]

Citlalli hit the nail on the head for me " if you raise both equally than they will grow up and learn that both are equal" case closed next case.

[@ghostdrew4887]

Have to disagree. It just doesn't hold up.

[@blackpyxy9583]

@@ghostdrew4887 how?

[@tarkamlokar9709]

How can you equip your children for the different challenges that they will probably face depending on sex if you do not raise them with some differences?

[@ghostdrew4887]

@@blackpyxy9583 it doesnt because when things such as physical power dynamics come into play who and how some one is to be held accountable changes. If a man were to attack a women he would and should be held accountable as the one who was in power in that situation, if a woman were to attack a man she is not held to the same critiques as that same man would be. Simply because men are typically stronger than women and thus are held to more harsh responsibilities for it.

[@blackpyxy9583]

@@ghostdrew4887 you did not give me a valid answer because just because people are bias doesn’t mean they should be raised different and we’re talking about equality here and physical strength doesn’t make one superior. One question why do you thinking the situation you just stated is a thing in the first place?

[@marielcolley5656]

“We were close until she became a teenager.” There is something wrong about that statement. It’s like it’s her fault the relationship changed because she grew up. She can’t change the fact that she is growing up but I feel like as a parent you expect them to grow up and would then change the way you communicate with them.

[@Hamless_Kiwi]

Yes exactly, don’t expect your teenage daughter to feel comfortable cuddling her dad anymore. It’s about boundaries too

[@juliabarrow174]

My issue with the statement is that we stopped being close cause 1 I began to notice your hurtful tendencies 2 you change and decided that the only way to handle a teenager is with punishment and no rewards

[@kalidameri4631]

@@Hamless_Kiwi Yes, I'm so glad Mike corrected him. He's not perfect (like w that thing about seeing a guy staying with a girl differently than a girl staying w a guy thing) but he at least seems to try to empower his daughters.

[@jeb250]

@@Hamless_Kiwi I mean it’s ur dad... that person literally exists for you and u gonna say “ hey since your my dad I don’t want you touching me no more” but it’s ok if ur mom touch u right? Like tf?! Don’t be mad that ur parents love u, the only reason they have a job is so that they can provide for you and see you succeed think about how much it probably breaks their heart when u don’t wanna hug ur dad. I understand like u don’t always wanna get touched but like your parents love you and will die for you

[@jeb250]

@aena mustafa that is true, when u get older u start to realize how the world truly works.

[@lunarbubu]

Can we talk about how great Mike, Gabi's Father, is? Out of these 3 dads he is easily the best in my opinion, and it shows just based off how confident Gabi is even when saying certain things around her father. Such a great duo.

[@sabrina-td2sy]

i can’t wait to treat my daughters how all daughters deserve to be treated

[@yannolove1335]

We are different

[@J040PL7]

And how is that? Every daughters parents would love to know 😂😂😂

[@th1rt3]

i felt bad for citalli, it felt like there was a lot of tension between her and her dad and it seemed like she wanted to say something but didn’t

[@yande_z]

I think they haven't gotten to really understand each other well, and I hope they do...

[@thecherryontop3251]

Honestly this might be a stretch but the vibe I got was she was too scared to say anything that her dad would later recriminate off screen.

[@Pee5Ma]

Ikr, he seemed a bit strange. He just kept saying phrases and quotes about love and parenting, but his own daughter seemed scared. It's so easy to look like a loving parent in a 20 minute video.

[@Name-jf2bu]

@@Pee5Ma it's much easier to seem like a perfect and vulnerable daughter for 20 min

[@adelinelacroix6743]

@@Pee5Ma but why would they both agree to even do this if there was something really wrong with their relationship?

[@ziraydejesus8108]

“Girls like to tease” “sitting there and looking pretty Can be teasing” BRO WTF?! I hope this man learns that that mindset is toxic and sexist. It leads to victim blaming.

[@harveen1422]

that was so disgusting. his ego is so big that he thinks that girls like to look pretty FOR HIM and are asking for it. he just exudes toxic masculinity

[@alaina4396]

I was so disgusted by that comment. I couldn't believe he said that in front of his daughter

[@Ray03595]

@@harveen1422 Yup, toxic of him to save his daughter from an abusive mother. Toxic of him to ask for her help in taking care of him every day. So toxic... I mean, we all know there are never women who dress up for male attention. If women want to dress sexual that is entirely their prerogative. It shouldn't be shocking that it gains the attention of men tho.🙄

[@lilcupc4k3s]

What he said is kinda true tho. Some girls like to tease and some will even do it knowing they’re not going to get with the guy or girl they’re teasing. And anything anyone does can be a tease or someone else, whether intentional or not. People just need to know how to control themeselves

[@ziraydejesus8108]

@@lilcupc4k3s if a man is believing that they are being teased by a woman just existing then it means that they are sexist and misogynistic. A woman can wear what she want, and a man should learn the difference between when it’s okay to sexualize a person and when it’s not okay. We’ve allowed this “boys will be boys” behavior for too long and let them hide behind this excuse when sexually harassing women. So no, a woman is not being a tease by just sitting there.

[@l.a.b.chimmy866]

The other day my brother talking with my mom thanked her for all the support we had when we were growing , for all the things she said and did to make us an independent adults etc etc . I was in shock. I couldn’t believe my memories about those times were so different !! I grew up with fear, fear to go out because I was a girl and outside is unsafe , a woman can’t go out alone because it is not look good. People would think she is a wh… I couldn’t work because I was better on my house and I didn’t need to. I just remember myself as a scary young adult with no social habilites . It was sooo hard to me to got out of that shell !! My brother was raised to conquer the world and what about me ? To be some kind of doll?? 🙁

[@apple_piethief9750]

I’m so sorry your mom did that to you, I hope she see can see reason one day after knowing she’s been proved wrong by you

[@iremnur4413]

Dads shouldn’t try hiding their emotions around their kids. It sends the message that feeling should be kept to ones self and that unintentionally makes communicating so much more difficult. Let’s teach kids to embrace and acknowledge their feelings, boys and girls alike!

[@yunidai16]

It's more like, men (and women) should not let only anger and happiness be their default emotions. They should express sadness and tranquility as well.

[@isamash112]

*Should daughters be raised differently?* *Mothers vs Sons* Edit: so many of you guys believe this would be like 'group therapy' and things like that. Maybe they should use a mixture of different mother and son groups, like mothers who left and came back or mothers who really struggled to get a wide perspective.

[@noor-tb8ue]

PLS I NEED THIS

[@mcpheefan21]

Ooh yes I need this conversation.

[@Emo102938]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[@DaraXGolden]

I want to see that like crazy ‼️

[@XavierXibalba]

Cool idea but what would be disagreement here? It'd just be group therapy

[@alexiswilliams5321]

the fact that a lot of male beings feel like they aren’t the problem when sexualizing females is so disgusting. we are forced to cover up rather than a male being taught that what he is doing is wrong. just because a female is sitting and minding her business or just being confident and wearing what she wants doesn’t give consent or permission to sexualize, touch, or talk about her in that way.

[@alyssatran3710]

Period.

[@squidwardtentacles7144]

idk what so hard for ppl to understand 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@berendacz7662]

I feel this goes both ways, I wore a revealing shirt once at school. Where you could see my muscles. There where a few girls that teased me and started touching me all over. I pushed one away and told her to stop and I got punishment for pushing a girl. Great.

[@alyssatran3710]

@@berendacz7662 yeah, i know it happens with a lot of guys but it's more normalized when it shouldn't be :/

[@bleepbloop7039]

unless male libido significantly wanes through further evolution seeing our libido is no longer required to the same levels as propagation of the human species has been fulfilled, such idealized wishes as having men not look at women at sexual objects will not happen at least in the next few hundred or perhaps 1000 years

[@Blueberry-popcorn-loves_cats]

This one had me crying especially with the 14 year old. I relate to her so much. I hate that Brian started to talk about how females “like to tease”. People like that are terrible, and I dislike it so so much. (My father is also like a mix of a three fathers)

[@priscilalopez8957]

When Ben said how him and Citalli were so close and then puberty changed everything it hit so hard for me because my dad and I had a similar situation. I always saw him as a source of knowledge and the one that would know all of the answers, but when I became a teenager I understood that there are different points of view other than the ones my dad expressed, but he gas-lights me into believing that his point of view is the "real and objective one" so my opinions become invalid. Citalli probably went through something similar or worse, either way, I just want to hug her and tell her she is not alone.

[@someone-bt5lu]

Same.. but it took me like 10 years and a health condition more than you to realize that.. lol. Wishing you all the best, and that you will form/have formed the family you wished you had

[@angie-sk4mx]

why is no one talking about the father that said 'boys have testosterone and girls like to tease' that's literally what people use as an excuse for sexual abuse. i was shocked when he said that, an no one is talking about it? wtf

[@abhi-wi2mj]

Ikr that was creepy aff

[@JulieStardoll]

very creepy but also he's ancient maybe that was the attitude back in the day... gross tho

[@aaronmoise8261]

I think he worded himself incorrectly, but his daughter seems to respect him and trust him a lot. So I won't judge off one comment on an edited video.

[@gwendolyn1003]

@@JulieStardoll Doesn't matter , he's an adult , and he's old enough to educate himself

[@gwendolyn1003]

@@aaronmoise8261 I definitely will , because what he said is wrong , disgusting and victim blaming . It may not be that deep to you but it is to me because that mindset is a huge reason why rape culture is still a problem todat

[@mundain8818]

“she hides about 20%” me: hides about 95% of who i am

[@mivri2023]

I hide 99%

[@poocrayon4588]

I hide 0

[@imogen792]

I hide 100%

[@katexoxo250]

@@imogen792 same😪🤚🏻 They don’t know me AT ALL 😝 Hell, I can’t even be myself around my friends. They are too judgmental, so I feel like I can’t be myself around them.

[@l0v3lyniaa]

literally me ; my family think they " know me like a book . " 💀🤚🏾

[@meganlee2896]

“I wouldn’t let my daughter live with a guy but I’d let my son live with a girl” “If we raise them as equals they will see each other as equals” Which is better?

[@squishybee0629]

okay ben is exactly like my father. i have brothers and i get treated differently, i’ve dealt with so much emotional manipulation and zero recognition of my feelings. and when i do speak up, i get shut down. i can see familiar traits in myself in her and i can see my father in Ben. i feel for Citalli. i’m sending her lots of hugs and hopefully she has someone who listens to her and acknowledges her feelings.

[@squishybee0629]

also i want to add, my dad is not a bad person, and i don’t think ben is either. but he needs to look at himself and understand her feelings are valid and that maybe there’s a way to fix things between them. acceptance is key :)

[@NOOBPROGODHACKER]

@@squishybee0629 agreed

[@sgracem2863]

Fathers raise their daughters to hate/fear men, to never trust them and to see them as sexual predators and then at the same time men wonder why feminism goes over the top and women say they hate men.

[@TheBdjx]

And these same father's (and mother's too) don't raise their sons to control themselves resulting In them becoming sexual preditors giving women horrible experiences and creating even more over the top male hating feminism. Sad world.

[@migueljuarez6788]

@@TheBdjx Lol that's not how it works but ok. Most people aren't taught to sexually control themselves yet they do. If someone is abusing someone it's bc someone abused them. Simple. You have no evidence for your argument. You made it up to fit your narrative.

[@juliabrooks8396]

@@migueljuarez6788 huh? What’re you talking about lmao I think the original comment was referring to the fact that women are always told to protect themselves, cover up, not be “slutty” or give the wrong idea etc. in order to protect against sexual harassment, which in turn creates a culture of victim blaming and a patriarchal society. Men, on the other hand, aren’t ever told NOT to sexually harass or rape women

[@meganclouse7423]

@@migueljuarez6788 got a mansplainer here

[@vibez2806]

@@meganclouse7423 just cause someone disagree with your opinion don't mean that it is manspaining.

[@sophia.j1107]

I just wanna hug Citalli, I can feel her energy all through this phone and it hurt my heart

[@itsannesworld_9156]

Same but why didnt her father tho...

[@ph0nguy]

@@itsannesworld_9156 how did her dad not feel for her? I heavily respected her dad for everything he said. He reassured her that nothing she has done/will do disappoints him. He was vulnerable in front of her and everybody else when he spoke abt not living w him anymore and supported/respected her choice. And he apologized for making her feel how she did and reassured it was ok when she cried. I feel the same way as Citlalli abt my dad and i wish my dad told me the things Citlallis dad said to her

[@FirstNameLastName-xp3pb]

“i can feel her energy through this phone”😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@katie1588]

@@ph0nguy I think because of the way she reacted (started crying) that he doesn't normally act supportive to her, as that phrase wouldn't make someone who knows that emotional. I could be wrong but that's what I think

[@ph0nguy]

@@katie1588 yea thas true and ur def right abt why she was crying but i was jus talking directly abt what he said. Its good that at least he apologized and has said those things to her now.

[@thehomieliz4330]

i can immediately feel Citlali’s reactions/emotions because i’m currently dealing with similar things my anxiety is so bad i don’t know how she did it i want to give her a hug she’s seems so sweet :3

[@clarisseiz1277]

7:22 look at her reaction after what ben said. Or idk

[@assholebyginger]

I think it says a lot that Citlalli gets intense anxiety around her dad.

[@matthewstreacker7402]

Exactly. I think he’s emotionally abusive and puts on a friendly face outside the home. Typical behavior of a narcissist. My dad is a narcissistic alcoholic (went to rehab but now drinks again after divorce and leaving). He was emotionally abusive to me so I always feared him growing up, and he would act like the nicest person in front of strangers. Citlalli’s dad is speaking in lots of platitudes, and also brought up Citlalli wanting to have full custody with her mom which is toxic and personal to bring up in front of strangers.

[@carlotalorenzo6701]

I agree. Theres definetely something weird there

[@paulinelopez2865]

I get intense anxiety around my dad and I’m not sure why yet... it doesn’t feel like he’s abusive but I just feel really anxious and try to avoid him

[@kc-uv7sb]

@@paulinelopez2865 same he is just really unpredictable and i don’t always now how hell react when i respond with what i truly feel

[@mrmacky4584]

right

[@justcallmeandy5180]

Parents should go to a psychologist to not project their mental issues on their kids

[@nathan6858]

@Jeremy A nah I don't know about that

[@LiquidSunshine22]

💯💯💯

[@LiquidSunshine22]

@Jeremy A curious if you’re vegan

[@snakearekat2634]

@Jeremy A you hate the breeders too?😂

[@snakearekat2634]

@Jeremy A u listen to girl in red too?

[@mynamehood8353]

When the prompt came up "I have had moments I felt like I failed my family" came up. And only 2 of the daughters came up. That's exactly what's wrong with society. Children made to feel like they are the ones who need to step up and are failing. While the "adults" lack every bit of introspection.

[@jellybean_18]

Gurl when Citalli, her dad was talking about him never being disappointed in her I feel like she knew he has said he is dissaponted in her.

[@manuel4340]

You know nothing about its kind of risky assuming something about someone you nothing about.

[@christina7321]

@@manuel4340 that’s why they said feel.

[@manuel4340]

@@christina7321 makes no sense how would you feel anything about someone you know nothing about. She or he literally watched a 15 min video and felt that way come on lol.

[@M24478]

What the dads don’t realize: when you raise a son and daughter differently, you are indirectly creating the son that you want to keep a daughter safe from. Edit: Ya’ll I’m taking about the dads in the video in regards to the specific points they made.

[@copyrightcentral6567]

Well what my dad taught me is that as a man it’s my duty to protect people that are vulnerable and I’m pretty sure he didn’t tell my sister to be scared of people that will protect her when she needs it

[@FeverFo]

Exactly. I legit don't understand why they think that's good logic.

[@poocrayon4588]

wrong - they're teaching the truth. Its simply a fact that men will always be seen as more "responsible" for women sexually than vice versa. Thats why even today you have "independent" feminist women who think its r*pe of women when men and women have sex while drinking or that talking women into having sex is r*pe - or that "power dynamics" mean its impossible for a woman to say no to sex with a man who is somehow "higher" than her. Women struggle with seeing themselves as responsible parties in sex and men are simply reacting to that

[@EC-jd9ej]

@@poocrayon4588 Thank you for your nuanced and sophisticated political opinion, FART MOUTH DONG DONG. I'll definitely be sure to consider everything you just said seriously.

[@ameya6967]

@@poocrayon4588 ......what? honey, i think you are in the wrong century. lemme bring you a time machine so that you can time travel back to the 1700s. sheesh, i can’t believe people like you exist.

[@mochikook7570]

„If you raised them equally then they will grow up and see each other as equals.” - Citlalli

[@Rundvelt]

Mindless garbage. It's not about equals and misogyny. It's about reality and that men and women are in fact different, and that women need to protect themselves from men by realizing their actions may cause a bad situation to develop. And that's not blaming them, but giving them the tools to recognize and avoid shitty actions by criminal boys.

[@ienjoydrpepper5938]

While there is truth to that in some regard, even if you raise people while holding them at the same value, many factors can change how they percive each other.

[@Ichigo-dh9rd]

Words 👏👏👏

[@miu__m]

@@Rundvelt nah or maybe we are all human. Chill

[@maxpowers4436]

Men and women are equals but thats completely irrelevant regarding raising them.

[@millacabral9475]

Props to everyone involved in this video, it's so personal and must be incredibly hard to admit these things about your relationship with your dad/daughter in front of a crowd.

[@anne_abrams]

Watching Citlalli sit there is like watching myself back when I was 14. I’m glad she was able to live with her mom sooner than I could. I love my dad, but it was better for my mental health and it changed me for the better. Even my dad gave that back to me and told me he could see how different I was when I started to live with my mother.

[@carsyn6273]

I’m honestly so glad that Mike didn’t put Gabi down for struggling with her mental health. He made it so clear that it wasn’t her fault and that she was strong.

[@imwaijba778]

Mike seems like a good dad he really understands her

[@anthoula-4284]

that's the bare minimum

[@weirdface7262]

Yes but it’s better than nothing I think that’s better than being below the bar

[@sen-cher]

@@anthoula-4284 it should be the bare minimum but we live in a world where it's not the norm and majority of parents from different cultures including mine don't typically show up like that

[@katykat978]

@@anthoula-4284 we live in a world where what should be bare minimum is not common. So to try support and talk positively about parents like these. 50 years ago, mental health problems were laughed off and put down. We are still growing to accept these things into our society, let alone the hundreds of other cultures around the world.

[@yes-sk6xh]

Citlalli is a gem. So softspoken, yet so intelligent. A very sweet child.

[@grassblock5254]

A gem. That’s the perfect way to describe her

[@dc66]

agreed :)

[@mantabsekali920]

Her father should change his mind before the gem broken 😂

[@earth2fatima578]

i swear

[@anthonyberruecos9866]

Citlalli means moon in old Aztec language. You saying this reminded me of my ex Citlalli. My first love, thank you for putting your words in that amazing way

[@hollythomson9427]

i really want to give Citlalli a big hug, she actually made me cry cause relate to her and that's all i wanted was a big hug.

[@alrightoksurethingyoubetmm2121]

Sending hugs to Citalli, she’s so strong and wise and an inspiration to women of all age ❤️

[@UMLGxPr0s1]

"boys have testosterone and girls like to tease." & "what if she's just sitting there and she looks nice?” “depends” She gotta get her dad checked out that guy is definitely a creep. He should've been arrested right after the show LMAOOOO.

[@synlion]

Arrested for being right?

[@imperialbagel]

In my head I was hoping he’d respond “ no I’m only referring to the girls that do it on purpose.” But no, this dude just flat out victimized all attractive women.

[@synlion]

@@imperialbagel I don’t think that’s what he was doing. He was pointing out, how easily women can become victims of harassment or assault, for relatively innocuous actions.

[@imperialbagel]

@@synlion no, he was saying it was the women’s fault.

[@UnAnonKnown]

@@synlion Nope. Sitting there and looking nice isn’t teasing - it’s existing. If any guy looks at that and thinks she’s teasing him, that’s on him. Also, even if she is teasing him that doesn’t justify anything. She may be teasing you because she’s hoping for a date, to hold your hand, a single kiss... teasing shouldn’t equate wanting to have sex.

[@tsurello9479]

Citlalli has such an open and kind soul. And she‘s so brave for opening up in front of her father and being vulnerable.

[@katya.g524]

especially since she's fourteen. i hope she's doing okay.

[@poocrayon4588]

She was very disrespectful of her fathers wisdom and I think most fathers would be disappointed in their daughters if they acted like that

[@toricox6331]

@@poocrayon4588 you don’t know the whole story. I personally wouldn’t call it disrespect.

[@sammysabo]

@@poocrayon4588 what the fuck ? How ??? That’s really rude , she’s being open, honest, and vulnerable and you can tell she’s never talked to him about any of that in front of her dad and it seemed really beneficial for them

[@justinjaeger1554]

@@poocrayon4588 daughters do not need to conform to the “wisdom” of their fathers. Adults are not oracles of wisdom, they are flawed human beings. He wanted her to be something she wasn’t comfortable with, and when he realized that, he backed off. It often hurts people to have expectations placed upon them like that, as we see here. It’s not disrespectful for her to do what is right for her. If the dad didn’t hit the brakes, and if she didn’t take space, that discomfort may turn into resentment

[@shirleylee5034]

"If you raise them equally, they'll grow up treating each other as equals." The accuracy of Citlalli's statement is scary. Men grow up not being protected enough which often ends up with them having a lot of negative feelings. And when they don't get taught enough, it negatively affects women. Women grow up a lot of the time being overly sheltered which results in them having a lot of negative feelings, such as the anxiety Citlalli felt around her dad. How you protect AND teach both males and females as they're growing up, is a big part of what makes them who they are. I feel like parents don't realize just how much of what they say sticks to us.

[@BestBetterBestest]

Citlalli definitely reminds me of me. I just wanna hug her and tell her that she's amazing.

[@lalitsharma1453]

That man is treating his 20 year old daughter like she's 12.

[@noire9601]

Be Specific! FYI: 3 men in this video.

[@uhJoshh]

@@noire9601 probably the one that’s 20

[@azaleamcpeanut484]

@@uhJoshh theres too daughters that are 20

[@lalitsharma1453]

@@noire9601 the Jewish dad

[@ghog4792]

Not true

[@dashingtherouxthesnow4017]

'If you raise them equally, then they'll learn and grow up to see each other as equals' - Citlalli Probably the best point made in this video

[@donbebe6092]

Yes I agree you should raise them equally but not the same.

[@donbebe6092]

@2020 is the worst year ever I disagree, I don’t think that either should have privileges over the other. But at the same time what that one father said about the difference in sending your daughter or son to the store is true. Also I would have my son help me with work that involves labor more so than my daughter.

[@JesusPerez-pe8vk]

Unfortunately you cant be responsible for how others taught their kids and that's where their anxieties lie

[@KaushikBala333]

@2020 is the worst year ever because god did not make both genders equal. I hope you understand that much. We work differently. U cannot force them to be same

[@KaushikBala333]

@2020 is the worst year ever okay so you can ask a girl to deadlift 1000 lbs which by the way has been done by a man. No matter how hard you try to reason. The truth is both genders are different and they have different hormones and character. U cannot make them same. And if you do it won't be ideal

[@amandasquires9358]

I’d love to see sons and daughters having this conversation about how their raised differently

[@deceptionxx]

I would love to be one of Citallis friends, she seems so lovely and open