Show Him You Have Class...Do This! | Relationship Advice for Woman by Mat Boggs

[@matboggs]

Join the Manifest Your Man Program and get coached by Mat Boggs today! www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session?div=lr&KZbin&Social&MYM_EVG&CNT_video

[@Mayfloweralways]

I do think much of this is true, but ironically, and people may very much disagree, she was only successful with a man that she wasn’t initially crazy about and found less attractive. Therefore, she was able to stick to her standards. Had he been “smoking hot” she may not have managed the situation the same way. The biggest take away isn’t just about honesty and standards. It’s also about self awareness. The more you want someone, the more you act like you reeaaally want them to like you, and it shows in your choices and how you act with them. It’s “pick me” energy. It’s your ability to still stand your ground despite all those feelings and hoping he likes you that make the difference. You have to honor what you want from a relationship more than you chase the butterflies you feel.

[@lynnita321]

Bingo! I agree with you on all points here. I had a coach tell me that when looking at online profiles to read them first, and if what they said matched my standards and resonated, then go ahead and look at their photos.

[@catche85]

So you've pretty much just described what Chris did I think. Hot, fit woman who wasn't attracted to them then put him in a situationship but it was okay because she was "honest", and he just kept agreeing to her terms. At no point did this story include Chris saying "that sounds good and this is my standard". I dont think this is as feel good a story as it's being made out to be simply because it had a happy ending.

[@Mayfloweralways]

@@catche85yes, Chris did act this way. And that’s unfortunate. It’s hard to say how nice of a story it really is because all we really know is that she wasn’t that attracted to him and he agreed to anything she wanted. And he also lost weight. For his own happiness or because he felt insecure- because he knew she was disappointed in his weight and trying to look past it? I didn’t really get warm fuzzies with this story.

[@Zoroastrian88]

I agree 10000000%%%%% because otherwise this story would had ended otherwise 😂

[@juditedeschi4436]

So true

[@pamelawright3253]

Chris sounds like an amazing, patient man

[@arlenelovelace18]

I do believe that honesty is the best policy, and taking your time to get to know the REAL person is critical for a forever relationship. 💕

[@TheJessicagardner]

Lovely how he was patient and caring while she took her time and did not rush things ...

[@trainkeenpilates5227]

That’s what happens when a real man comes into your life. You fall in love because he treats you with respect and kindness and waits for you. ❤ Congratulations you two! So sweet!

[@aras.relationship.support]

its true! that kind of treatments

[@trainkeenpilates5227]

I need to add that a real woman is open to receiving this type of treatment from a real man. ❤️

[@ek8928]

I never give hope to a person I am not into him and I see that he has feelings for me!!! I have friends to hang around!

[@deliapasqualini970]

Actually, me neither. I don't see the point. The same when I am into a man who doesn't correspond and only wants to catch up, I immediately take distances.

[@BetterTogether300]

It's a diff way, she told him she wasn't feeling romance for him but they still hung out and were friends got too k ow each other . ...he celebrated her n showed love toward her they enjoyed the level of love friends love,..n she included physical touch hugging n dating,..he understood the limit n still stayed with her..she eventually fellin live with the love he gave n the comittment he showed to them. She knew him n opened her heart finally fully. I get it n he was physically fit finally in the end he lost 60. pounds

[@Mayfloweralways]

@@BetterTogether300 the way he went all out for Valentine’s day….he was way more in love with her and hoping to be more. Her own dad even spoke up that everyone could see he was into her and not to tease him. The only reason it’s not a bad story is that she happened to develop feelings for him. I think it’s hard for most people to risk breaking another person’s heart.

[@BetterTogether300]

@@Mayfloweralways ur right, u don't want any hearts broken, being honest n upfront us imp. Finding a different way that worked for kthem was OK too as long as both ppl weren't getting

[@ShopgirlNY182]

Kudos to her for speaking her truth and knowing what was right for her and following her heart and kudos to him for respecting her enough to let her follow that truth and not giving up on it but being patient with the process and knowing he really wanted to be with her.

[@marthatowler3057]

I am only 5 minutes in and I am LOVING this story 😭 OMG!

[@joannguzzo185]

In my experience most guys don't appreciate a classy " speak / stay in your truth" gal ..

[@Mayfloweralways]

Here’s what is hard when dating- realizing that more guys will leave than stay. Or guys that want to use you, they stay in orbit but never commit. I can only say that when i found a wonderful man, i had been burned so much that i was rooting for the wrong ones to go- even if i liked them. There’s immense peace in being happy yet open- and knowing only a great guy is going want to make the effort to fit himself into your life. Other than being kind and interesting, you’re kind of a spectator- observing who hasn’t run away or tried to manipulate you.

[@tradingrichmom]

Exactly chat-call b4 meeting, still going strong, even tday - asking 4 what I want...

[@BetterTogether300]

She was honest from the start, n said so. He kept on..Valentines da special cd be to honourher as a woman and as a woman he wd like As long as he wasn't being hurt, maybe he didn't open his heart u til later. He just liked her, she was his idea of a woman he'd want. It's nice to be wanted loved as long as the ppl aren't hurt. It cd go 2 ways,he cd find another or they cd go somewhere. He put in the right efforts n she got to know who he was in friendship, no pressure.

[@brooklyn4721]

Please thank Mel for sharing her story IT was beautiful and resonated with me deeply.

[@MsLilac88]

Hello Mat, I always feel enlightened by your amazing relationship advice videos, these words of wisdom are so true. 💜

[@joannguzzo185]

I did something similar to this situation/story with someone recently... stating my truth and the guy left never heard from him again

[@lindac974]

Because most men are immature/insecure and/or just looking for a hook up.

[@juliafisher5844]

That's good 👍

[@mariellegrant6248]

Thank you Mat, for such a wonderful story! A great lesson!💐🙏❤

[@Ange-gt4ym]

Interesting. I do feel for Chris though, its a lopsided narrative that omits what Chris also ‘owning his truth’ looks like. Found myself concerned for him listening to this. Probably projecting my own experience, waiting to be loved through the process of the other persons changing affections is never easy

[@laureenm4878]

Fabulous story!! Thank you for sharing!! GREAT advice and inner peace!!

[@fromrussiawith4734]

Congratulations!!! Powerful story!❤❤❤

[@lidiacherviakova6790]

Thank you for the video! Exactly what I needed to hear!❤

[@karen1946-o4b]

Hi Matt! Thank you for your video! I always love your content BUT this "Mel" sounds like a jerk taking advantage of "Chris" with low self-esteem that put with her dating with others while he was dating her and doing everything to get out of his way to please her, and get her to marry him only when he looked the way she wanted. I saw the story without passion and with eagle eye, and that's what I saw.

[@Mayfloweralways]

Yeah, i wasn’t looking at Mel in a nice light. The guy was into her and she wasn’t into him. But yet she liked his company and the fact that he was into her. Despite having a great time and “wanting to kiss” she wanted to date around. It sounded like she was looking for the safe bet. There’s nothing wrong with making sure to invest in a guy that is into you. But to even add that he “lost that 60 pounds”- didn’t sound romantic to me. It sounded like she picked the guy she could wrap around her finger. But it’s ultimately about her. I hope I’m wrong, though.

[@karen1946-o4b]

@Mayfloweralways I wonder, if the situation would have been the other way around, that the guy says "I Wan to keep dating while dating with you" would be seen as nice and romantic? 🤔

[@Mayfloweralways]

@@karen1946-o4b I was just thinking this exact thing! If i guy showed up to a date and thought “wow, she’s heavier than i thought. I let her know i wanted to kiss her but still date around. By the time we got married she lost weight and was hot’ how romantic would it be? There was something off with it for me. Being honest, having standards- all great. I just didn’t find the story put her in a good light. Even her dad said it was not nice to flirt, which means she told everyone she wasn’t into him. I made the first move with my boyfriend. And it might have gone to his head. One night he said "i know how into me you are.” I couldn’t tell if he was teasing or being arrogant. I looked him up and down and said “funny, I thought we were interested in each other. i have no interested in being a fan." it was such a brief exchange. But he froze. He eventually found his voice and said "i'm sorry that was rude." i didn't hear anything in Mel's story where he let her know his standards or even gave any pushback to anything she said or did.

[@catche85]

I agree. Didn't like this story at all. She sounds like she did what most guys do, and strung him along. The part about "let's just be friends but here are all the DIYs I can think of" just reeked of using him. Her truth would have been "I don't find you attractive", but it doesn't sound like she ever admitted to that? Chris in this story is basically painted as an overweight simp. But we're expected to enjoy the story because she fell in love with him in the end. Oh and btw he's not fat anymore.

[@marthahardie]

Not interested in purchasing coaching because life ISN'T a fairy tale and people are more complex than YOU TUBE videos display. Cookie cutter techniques are NOT the best agenda in the long run.

[@dianesisler7175]

This is such an amazing story. I love this.❤😊

[@jdel2272]

Thank you so much for these videos I’ve learned so much

[@carolinareaper8089]

I would die from feeling guilty 😮 maybe its her truth but i would horroble knowing someone is developing feelings for me , getting used to , get into me by touch, intimate conversations and investing in me while I date other people and tel him to wait , wait, wait … it’s not classy to me . What if she left him ? Would he gain 100 kg? Would he kill himself ? It’s a happy ending but it could have been a case that would broke him for life !

[@Mellie726]

I agree, this has to be the exception not the rule. If this guy was really attractive he would have told her to take a hike, I think he didn't have enough self esteem to say no and for that I feel sorry for him, and I am a woman.

[@ojala5555]

​@@Mellie726 So true, exactly! Thanks for your comment!👋

[@mbere1]

What a beautiful love story ❤

[@jasmineb5697]

Great loving story ❤

[@purejoymirai]

What a great story and I love it💕 Thank you for sharing this with us, Mat✨✨✨

[@bronx452]

Beautiful story ❤ thank you

[@primerdimers]

Hmm, as a girl if I hear a the guy I am keen on say he wants to still date other girls, it makes him sound like a player ??

[@oanamunteanu4744]

Yes 🥺😬just ignore him, you deserve better ☺️🤞😅

[@amyali9945]

I just think it worked out cause Chris was willing to play the long game and put up with this cause he really liked her.

[@Liz-id7hd]

She's lucky he didn't leave. I'm glad it was a happy ending!

[@Veradoo001]

First to comment Thanks for Sharing

[@kmp12091]

Positive Assertiveness!!

[@emilyprater1695]

The way I like the video before I’ve even watched it because I know it’s going to be good 😊

[@lisayoung2641]

excellent story!! Gracias Jefe Mateo

[@crystaldance5731]

What a beautiful story such a romantic ending beautiful ❤️😊

[@TheMoore38]

It does seem that people are still quick to dismiss others who are overweight even when they know that they are a great catch otherwise. I’m glad she realised the wonderful man he is but I’m wondering if she was secretly wishing that he would loose weight too, which he did.

[@lauraz2896]

She’s lucky that he was in it for the long game.

[@beluasmr]

Thank you so much

[@monicagreschner8257]

I like your shirt. What is the brand?

[@babyneveranycorners1113]

Beautiful. 😢

[@smilez4us]

This was not a classy move that he's talking about where she wants to see what it's like to kiss him, and lets him know that she's feeling like doing it

[@littysavior9181]

I agree with some comments that this mainly encompasses the importance of self-awareness and willpower. In contradiction to a different comment, I do believe Mel did well advocating her needs, yet it is important to remember that relationships are a two-way street, which in this case means that Chris chose to stay. They both could've left, but they didn't. Also, about the dating-other-people thing, they still came back to eachother, even after trying it out with other people. [In response to another comment:] I also want to say that maybe Chris lost the weight out of his own volition for Mel and himself. It would positively affect his self-perception, which would positively affect the relationship. I'm glad they were able to have a healthy relationship. :]

[@juliafisher5844]

Is it classy ? Idk. Chris went along with it because of low self esteem ? Because he already fell in love ? I agree with another on here I found the I want to kiss you to see how it is icky .. as they said if she didn't like the kiss and said no just friends wouldn't he have gone on a downward spiral having been "used" albeit honestly ?

[@tiripoe5908]

He had low self esteem that’s why he put up with her

[@catche85]

Truth. Her own need for what she wanted and felt like at the expense of Chris' feelings was portrayed as a "classy" way of living your truth. The kissing part was especially awful. If she'd kissed him and not liked it I don't think the end of the story would have felt nearly as "classy".

[@tiripoe5908]

Yeh very wrong explanation of “classy”

[@Slovnet]

What did she achieve by dating other people? So, she liked him...but she was having intimacy with others? Such a screwed up beginning. I would never date a man who is dating other people.

[@Why19501]

I’m soooo tired of your videos…please stop.

[@juliafisher5844]

Why watch ?!!!!