Signs of Emotional Repression | What is Emotional Stuffing?

[@TimFletcher]

💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.

[@En_theo]

Thank you so much for all these videos, it does help...

[@janny474]

Ok, so what can we do about it now?

[@En_theo]

@@janny474 He talks about it in many other videos, relaxations techniques and meditation mostly.

[@MarciaDeCastro-z9r]

Be compassionate to yourself. Allow yourself to feel but be kind to yourself as well. I'm learning to re-parent myself. Addressing myself with loving kindness.

[@GiftsAmimalsGiveUs]

As a kid emotions got people hurt or killed. Showing love for something would be used against you. Showing ager would be used against you. Always stay calm and in control. No emotions were helpful in that time. I used to tell my therapist I just wanted to be treated as a human when the sad part is I wasn't even looking at myself as a human. I'm able to cry now but still trying to teach myself how to breathe without holding my breath. Letting myself feel is still new and uncomfortable but it is helpful. Thank You Tim.

[@TimFletcher]

Keep showing yourself and your inner child the love that you need now, today.

[@maurition49]

Stay unseen and unknown.

[@jennytaylor3324]

@@maurition49 Why?

[@maurition49]

@@jennytaylor3324 Because like this you don't become an easy target.

[@Callie-joe07]

Grew up being told I had to harden up and handle the bs! Learned how to just survive through life, became emotionally numb from an early age…. Coasted through things and was told I’d never amount to anything important. Been trying to cope, and through therapy am working on acknowledging my feelings

[@TimFletcher]

There are so many people who grew up being told to 'deal with it' and be tough. Being strong is important, but acknowledging how you feel is also an indicator of strength. It sounds like you've done some great work so far.

[@wrenpalmR]

This is so timely. I just recently became aware of this within myself, and have been going through a grieving process, allowing myself to feel EVERYTHING I have been running from, and hiding from for years. It's so challenging to allow myself to just cry, and weep, without judging myself for it. I have to consciously shut down the negative voices of my past that creep up, mocking and belittling me for being overly sensitive or "throwing myself a pity party", and just sit with it and let it out. No more self harming to escape. It's been very healing.

[@KatI422-r3m]

Being groomed as a child by a narcissistic parent you want to please unconsciously trained me to put myself away. Becoming aware that I was “allowed” to actually feel and not turn all my concerns (emotions) to focus on what others demand is still a big step for me. I now stop and consciously consider what is going on in situations. It was uncomfortable at first, but now I no longer need approval to feel what is mine to feel.

[@vixter28]

I did that with alcohol drugs & sex when I was younger Couldn’t cry for a long time until I went to therapy when I was late 30’s

[@albertskoczylas2233]

Can't heal what you can't feel

[@TREBLEBOOSTER65]

@@albertskoczylas2233 Love that

[@karazor-el3466]

😢

[@edsal26]

But you only think you can’t feel it. The pain can be locked away but it waits…sometimes a long time before it returns to haunt you. You must face it to shed that pain.

[@amyproudfoot6611]

Profound words

[@lindamceachern5467]

​@@edsal26true! It will erupt if suppressed. It needs to be released. You are human. Think about rage and aggression. Big boys don't cry bs.

[@ScottBecker-c1k]

Bingo, Jack!!! Growing up, my mother told me that kids don't have emotions. Kids don't have feelings. Kids don't have rights. Basically kids are just robots that do what parents, teachers, and other grown-ups tell them to do without question. Kids don't need appreciation. Kids don't need to be apologized to if somebody does something to them. Kids aren't suppose to think, they are just suppose to do.

[@victoryamartin9773]

Wow, what a denial of your very existence. How incredible that you were able to survive all that and now be able to voice it. You are alive! You are a real boy!

[@love.JESUS.2day]

@@ScottBecker-c1k 😥

[@faye6459]

'Children should be seen and not heard' was a regular in our house. I never felt 'seen' even. I can relate mate. We have permission to feel now.

[@helenenorman3598]

Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪

[@shannonadler5479]

TY. And my smile shows it. 😊😢 I will overcome 😊

[@johanna006]

Listening to Tim's lectures is always gut-wrenching.

[@ssummers9541]

Initially learning about everything you missed out on that you should have had is gut wrenching for sure. But if you get the help you need you can learn and grow so much from the pain and find ways to make a lot of good come from it.

[@wonderingheights]

Thank you

[@Ilovethebush]

hardening their heart and causing hardening of their arteries and causing high blood pressure, leading to heart attack and stroke.

[@juanitamccarthy1112]

hi Tim thanks 4 all yr teachings. bless you. my childhood was very traumatic + i wish i could say my marriage was better. i am busy healing, however i am becoming whole, praise God Almighty.

[@DanielBepunkt]

Thank you...

[@Radiantwarriorwisdomkeeper]

Not sure how well this message truly resonates with me… Emotions will come and go very very true… They however, do not get the final vote as to how I will live my life.

[@TJ-bs4wv]

I try to heal. But part of me saying, why even bother. Everytime I show my feelings, no one really cares, or turns away. As a man, I only feel that my worth is what I give, and what I show to the world. Bottom line I feel I don't matters. I guess many people feel the same way

[@clairecarlia-jones5979]

Thank you, Tim. You're a remarkable man. I dont know you but you just explained my entire life😢

[@anaisabel5773]

This was (is) me, thank you Tim, for expressing here all the ways I have dealt with “emotions” throughout my life. Wish all that understanding of complex trauma and addiction on one’s life would have been there for me while I was still young. But back then, I think my parents were convinced that me, a kid, did not have true emotions, like only adults could know what true emotions are, so better stuff mines deep down or pay with….whatever was depending how they were feeling. So laughed at and canceled when they were in good mood to physically abused if they weren’t doing too good. Lucky for me I had the perfect childhood tv hero from whom to learn how to control my emotions, yes, that Mr. Spock from the 60’s Star Trek, no laugh, from my new logical perspective, my parents were the inferior species by getting angry, erratic, neglectful, etc, etc. I, on the other hand, was superior for knowing how to stuff my emotions to the point of non existence. Kept me half functional during my teens and young adulthood. Some of us have to use anything available to survive, including a silly tv show for direction, lucky it was the 60’s.

[@vixter28]

Yup My ex boyfriend totally Stuffs down emotions with alcohol

[@jacksonvance-op2pd]

Thanks for your help and blessings for sharing light on the darkness in hurting people. The Holy Spirit helped me so much on my path. You awake and help so many who are looking and seeking truth for healing. Let our light shine to help others. Hang in there family and be good to yourself 😊

[@SherriJ-nl9ng]

Such great information Thank You!!🙏💕✝️

[@maja761]

Thanks

[@tharandtermountain]

Hi Tim, Obviously your content is incredible and you have helped thousands of people. I am wondering if you can make some content relating to bullying: being victimized by a bully in childhood, and also becoming a bully as a result of being bullied in the first place. Thank you!

[@dg2517]

This was my dad.. then he opened up later.. he was like a waterfall of emotions once the floodgates opened.. I had no idea how traumatized he was.

[@weightlossandwellness]

I started being able to numb myself when there was physical abuse in my childhood home, I used the same method for the emotional and mental abuse. It takes time to undo these habits since they start in childhood, and as a child you don't know any better. All you know is that you need a defense mechanism of some sort because you can't just walk away. Then as an adult you feel confused about how to handle your emotions. The effects of abuse and trauma are so much worse than people realize, I think. I agree though, we have to try to heal.

[@connorholmes8786]

thank you so much you guys for putting this together. I am 19 very blessed but still have heavy heavy stuff that I'm going through and trying to be understanding w myself during. really trying to be more compassionate but for ex. tonight I put in 11 hours along w a kinda stressful market day and didn't get as much as I wanted to out of interacting with this girl I'm kinda deeply into

[@Ali76564]

I used to get shouted at don't talk don't comment when I was hurt as a child

[@LadyJpraise2024unbound]

What do I do with this after I've identified this is what I do? I repress and sit too much in my emotions. It is troubling. I think I feel too much but I don't want to address the emotional feelings

[@TimFletcher]

Everyone has a different way of confronting how they feel, but many find that journaling or automatic writing is a healthy way to let things flow and explore. Finding a person you can talk openly with and trust is also a good way to go, but starting on your own can be easier if you're not used to sharing.

[@mbw6785]

🤷‍♂️ I just feel like giving up on everything

[@amyproudfoot6611]

I am praying for you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 do not give up !!!

[@desiree2086]

Me 2 I want to be dead Life is useless Love doesn’t exist

[@Wendyj55]

Yup

[@maja761]

Most brilliant explanation ever ❤️. Unfortunately, the emotional suppression is taught and proven as the main survival skill and exactly what our society stimulates and normalises. And then, we all get to walk our masks both outdoors and indoors as the only way of successful social interaction.

[@teddyboef2821]

So true. I disowned everything from the neck down. I was a floating head.

[@lonesome273]

I'd rather be a robot any time than be an emotional wreck. Emotions made things worse always. Man up and move on is the best advice i got. In the end, nobody cares

[@jorgmuller3110]

@@lonesome273 Sorry, but a real man is in touch with his feelings

[@victoryamartin9773]

You bought the lie. We all did.

[@lonesome273]

@victoryamartin9773 doc got some good points, but it's super idealistic. For me, emotions will not make you rich, powerful, or respected. If you want something, you have to be ruthless in these times. Why bother with emotions when you got God and the gym on your side. No body cares in the end. Move on.

[@helpfulbitsandentertainment]

​@@lonesome273 The why comes down to a few things: They are still in your subconscious negatively affecting your behavior when you suppress them and they can even cause physical illness in these cases. Also, because you cannot ENJOY whatever success you manage to gain while suppressing them because the capacity for enjoyment is shut down at worst and turned way down at best. And God cannot be on your side when you are shutting down your emotions because HE created them in you, his image-bearer which means you are literally denying a part of God's image and also not living in truth (and the only one who advocates living in a lie is Satan). That, and being ruthless just ensures you hurt the next generation, too and then it's on them to break a cycle you could have broken yourself if you applied your strength in the right place. Also, the gym is not likely to be on your side as long as it could be either if you repress and suppress stuff because you are more likely to either weaken your immune system and therefore your body befire its time or end up with an addiction that will ultimately weaken your body befoee its time (you may indeed still train and be strong for a time, but that time would be longer and possibly strength greater as well if you did deal with your stuff).

[@ewadziatkowska1059]

But to live around this kind of person can be horror , there is no communication because there is no consious , they dont know that they arę doing ,and what they feel ,to be a human they pretend that they feel.something but obviously they stealing ,observing emotions from others to look like human in social. situation . They have no introspect ,its a not good thing ,We arę created by God ,we are not robots,our job is to face emotions which is the most difficult job

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

Yes, but there needs to be a viable alternative. Explaining the downsides of a coping strategy doesn't remove the need for it.

[@victoryamartin9773]

True, but the hope is that you will grow and individuate to a point where you won't need it anymore.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

@victoryamartin9773 I'm trying to get to a point where I can afford to stop blocking emotions, but the majority of the information out there seems to be "this is a bad thing" with no explanation of how to stop or what to replace it with. It gets frustrating to look for help and get a dozen different versions of "that problem you have is a problem, you should probably fix it."

[@KorinEats]

I think in other videos Tim suggests accepting the emotions you feel particularly the fear and avoidance! I suggest his lecture about adaptations as well! I found that to be super helpful! God bless 🙏

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

@KorinEats just accepting the emotions doesn't address why I have the need to block it, though. It's saying to drop the thing keeping me from being ostracised and/or hurting people (mostly emotionally) and/or losing most of my self respect, etc, etc. It's not that I'm suppressing things for no reason, it's that I've never been given an alternative method of dealing with the emotions which actually works sufficiently. So no, I'm not simply dropping what's slightly working in hopes that "nothing" will work better. I'll look up that video, though. Maybe with enough obscure hints around the edges of the topic I'll figure out what people actually do with emotions they're not able to handle in the moment.

[@KorinEats]

@@Isaac-hm6ih​​⁠hi Isaac, I’m sorry if I didn’t express myself clearly. Accepting your emotions is not the same thing as dropping them altogether! Absolutely not what is helpful. People like us have been ‘stuffing’ them down our entire lives out of fear or judgment and fear of abandonment. What I DO mean is we have to accept that we are afraid of our emotions and once we do we have the ability to process them. God bless you always 🙏

[@kathleenhillier6765]

My ability to compartmentalize emotion has got me pretty far in the workplace. But it made me an atrocious leader, lacking a lot of emotional intelligence. I'm working on it though, but it's hard when I get positive reinforcement for being such a good robot.

[@faye6459]

Thank you Tim, I think I am in the process of feeling all of the repressed feelings. It can be quite overwhelming. I just realised while watching that I do actually expect people to find me 'unworthy' and I fully imagine that they are slowly realising that I'm hopeless and soon they'll leave me. It is where RSD comes from? I think. (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) How do you re-program that mess of feelings? sigh.

[@mimijacobson5522]

I can so relate to what you said. Don't give up and trust in the Lord as he will direct your path. That's what I am trying to do. But... last night my lab stole my rib eye steak sitting on the counter waiting to go on the grill. He ate the whole thing in just seconds. At first I quietly sent him for a time out. But later that night he came over to me and I pushed him away and sent him out of the room in an unexpected rage that came out of me. Then I cried and asked for forgiveness. The anger is always just at the surface. But we can't give up. I think the more we realize what is happening, the more can start to control it. The shame is the worst part of it as it lingers for quite some time. Even this morning I haven't as much as looked at my dog, and my guilt is overwhelming. Stay strong

[@faye6459]

@@mimijacobson5522 Don't feel bad he was a naughty boy! I also think animals are a good mirror to how we feel, by how we treat them. When I was being impatient with my dog it made me recognise that I wasn't feeling good. (I think I may have alexithymia) Perhaps your dog will now think twice before he steals your dinner? Be kind to yourself x

[@teddyboef2821]

The moment you close off your heart the world loses its color.

[@LIVE-SAGT]

This.

[@Reperanger7]

I don't have time to feel. I work around narcissistic and being emotionally available is harmful when those around me are so vile