How Your Trauma Explains Your Coping Mechanisms - Part 1

Part 3 of Tim's Complex Trauma Series. Part 1 of his Coping mini series.
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TEACH
🎓 COMPASS Facilitator & Coach Training is offered to LIFT Online Learning graduates who would like to facilitate our programs or further their education as Complex Trauma coaches. Our coaches and facilitators help those living with addictions, process their trauma and assist them in developing techniques that lead to better decision-making and healthier lives. Learn more here: www.timfletcher.ca/teach
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ENGAGE
🎓 Workshops are being made available where you, a group or organization can attend to learn about Complex Trauma. Workshops are specific to Complex Trauma and vocation themes, and offer detailed information about how Complex Trauma creates dysfunction and offers tools for healing.
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🎓 SEMINARS & WEBINARS Contact us to book a webinar or an in-person seminar with Tim Fletcher. Email: [e-mail]. Topics include: Trauma-Informed Care, Anger, Shame and Codependency.
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[@elesig2]

I’m 67 and have seen umpteen therapists, psychiatrists and counsellers over the past 40 years or so and this brilliant man has taught me why I have struggled all my life. Shame on the mental health profession. Nobody even suggested I had complex trauma or ptsd….if they did, it didn’t hit home like it just did now. Thank God for pastor Tim.

[@pinargeneci2537]

💯. I was in therapy my therapist was dumb as f***. I had more awareness than she ever did. I probably helped her more than she helped me.

[@georgiehughes4858]

So far, Pastor-counselor Tim Fletcher has described in clarity. He truly has a gift from God to comprehend & communicate these things.

[@kimberlymccracken747]

Same at 60 - Tim and many others are awake, aware, educated, and many times, have survived it. Thank God 🎉

[@World-Sojourner.22]

Me too!

[@sloth6247]

Same here. They’re not interested in the cure.

[@growsomethinwild]

Ive been jumping aroind the videos. This man is a genius. He's the missing piece from all the therapy, AA, OA I've been in since I was 15. Im 65 now and lost my son to fentanyl laced heroin in 2017. I completely shattered. I laid down to die. Walking dead. I then lost my Mother and Father. Its 2021 now. I got up and took a shower today.

[@js2010ish]

💟

[@hajeralanazi8379]

Hope you continue to get better carry on

[@valeriepatterson9278]

💞🙏💞

[@nsmarine2074]

I know how you feel, seems like just getting a shower deserves a gold medal.

[@gretchenburton7184]

Prayers Yes. Devastating. All the loses. So sorry. Sending condolences and compassion.

[@Helena-to9my]

It is inherited. For most of us, parents themselves are victims of unresolved complex trauma.

[@ancaatanasiu1014]

Generational curse 😥

[@denisegreenhoe1758]

No excuse

[@susannluckmann7705]

​@@ancaatanasiu1014 But now you watch Tim Fletcher. You got information. YOU can break the spell!!! Dare to life your live and be free and the real you. ❤

[@zaram131]

I don’t know if this is true or not.

[@sun-xue-ren]

Traditionally transmitted. Not inheritance.

[@haleyrose3054]

Every school should have this in their curriculum. If there was a psychology class in high school kids would change drastically... this can relate to anyone and I'm 100 percent sure the kids would pay attention. I know I would have.

[@nancybaumgartner6774]

Haley Rose you are correct . I am and have been a social worker since 1984. I have worked in alternative schools , a prison , and a public high school . Back in the 80’s , this used to be the work we did with kids . Over time , the medical model absorbed services because hospitals have the best grant writers and lawyers to secure funding. The focus shifted from dealing with context and defense mechanisms to treating symptoms . Parents often prefer to blame their child’s “mental illness” rather than look at what happens in their family . That is why schools will never touch this - they will not want the threat of insulted parents suing . A clever counselor could pull off doing individual sessions and small groups , though.

[@baileygregg6567]

This would save a lot of time and anger for a lot of individuals... Uff people just hate to talk hard topics...

[@jonathanogrady4854]

Too late. !

[@samanthajune6815]

Agree 100%! This, banking and budgeting in general, and oh I don’t know possibly taxes. 🤷‍♀️ Drives me crazy they do such a disservice by not preparing us for real world things. Banking is usually done in some way every single day.

[@christineferguson845]

Amen.

[@sandymarie921]

He is a absolute genius. Fantastic ability to explain. I have never in my entire life met anyone who taught me more about my life. I am better because of his work. I thank God for him

[@moiraeastman1997]

Yes. Thank God for Pastor Tim. I too have benefitted greatly from his wisdom.

[@johnpoynton4193]

Yes, me too ! X

[@lumisis1943]

41. Years of therapy and he and Crappy childhood fairy aka Anna Runkle have made lifechanging changes for me.

[@susannluckmann7705]

Yes, so true. Anna is so cool. She and Tim put it together so well and understandable. They give us tools to work with so we can become who we were meant to be in a healthy way ❤❤❤ God bless you.

[@denisegreenhoe1758]

He is by far the best, and I have listened to every video and podcast available on ctpsd, shame, trauma, etc. I could name 6 other "experts" on these subjects, but they don't hold a candle to Tim Fletcher. I don't know where he came from, but I am grateful I somehow stumbled across him. EXCELLENT!

[@Crazydoglady.]

This man is BRILLIANT

[@Narrowway7]

I feel validated and understood for once in my life after listening to this.

[@kaygenio2129]

i'M 68. I have a BA in Sociology (couldn't decide to major in psych or soc. , so lots of extra classes). Do you think I heard anything so practical, comprehensive, or personally life-changing in all those years? Subjects were so isolated from each other. I am so grateful for Tim's lectures. Although I'm not addicted to the 'classical' definitions of addictions, I think it's safe to say, we are ALL addicted to something in one way or another. There is hope here. Thanks.

[@commitinsurancefraud]

I absolutely agree as a fellow sociology major. I think my CT birthed the interest in observing others, so it's been complex resolving how much of that is hypervigilance, how much is core personality and natural interest. Regardless, TIm's lectures in combination with that knowledge, training and theory in sociological frameworks has become an endless educational source to me in addressing my CT and my future.

[@lordfuzi7168]

This series is so underrated. Thank you for this.

[@MrJimbissle]

Hmmmm . . 17/17. Guess Ill watch the next one. . . . IMHO, this is the most complete, understandable description of C-Trauma Ive seen yet. Well Done and Thanks.

[@paulaokane5088]

This talk is the missing piece of the puzzle. I am so gratitude for this gem. i attract shameless people that disown/dump their shame on me and then I walk in their shadow thinking there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Anyway, enough about my toxic dysfunctional family dynamics. thanks

[@lawrencedavis5459]

When we have our own issues it pulls people to us with similar problems. Like attracts like.

[@janwisz4070]

So you must know my parents! 😂

[@josephinebrew3788]

Your videos are a gift of understanding. Wow

[@livelifewithkindness9035]

Josephine Brew amen!

[@lisarenshaw1554]

At 62, I'm just now understanding the impact of the sexual abuse I endured. Thank you

[@Healinghearts8]

God has given you a gift to help people in this way. Thank you for utilizing it.🙏

[@oregonwoman1290]

I just found this channel and I think I'm going to watch every one of his videos.

[@musicmamma]

Me too

[@twobytworescue9366]

Me too!!

[@MadCupcake38]

I am so so so grateful for this man! This is the most coherent and true description of patterns and behaviours from traumatic experience.

[@jimmurphy9904]

21:00 when things are going well I internally sabotage everything. It always feels like it’s too good to be true even when it’s no big deal and many are used to that level of good things happening to them.

[@maritrnning5357]

I relate.. ruins everything- " Im not familiar to things going well..Have never learned that... sort of: it will get negative anyway, so lets just help it..

[@janwisz4070]

This is so me.

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

Your clarity and easy way of explaining is a blessing .thank you Tim

[@nadineo1983]

This is so true. I have complex-PTSD. I'm 36 and only recently diagnosed. My whole life has been completely derailed because I did all of this. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong. And then it all came crashing down. And now I am like a fizzled ball of frayed nerves that make me dissociate st the first glimmer of stress. Tracking down a qualified specialist to help me unravel this is like searching for a needle in a hay stack.

[@jimmurphy9904]

Nadine H same here, fighting hard to overcome

[@janwisz4070]

This is me

[@lv5584]

Start watching Dr Gabor Mate! And research Psychedelics for mental health! So much research now being done As someone with c-ptsd , I can say mushrooms recently helped me and working with a shaman ! & neurofeedback!! This is how we change the Brain! Talk therapy DOESN'T HELP

[@katebcoaching]

This was/is me to. Whole life detailed at 37 ... Had no idea that most of it could be attributed to CPTSD

[@Michelina22]

This video just explained so much, and I am that child who grew up with complex trauma, you did a great job explaining something so complex, in an very understanding way.... I am looking forward to the next 5 parts. I’m almost afraid ! ... SEE ! I just did it... I went to the negative... I have severe PTSD as well... God is the only thing that’s saved me and will continue to save me as I learn the tools 🛠 I need to change my thinking 🤔.... God Bless everyone ! I pray for peace to alllll. 😇🙏🏼😇🙏🏼😇

[@stanley1771]

As a kid I would listen closely when dad pulled up from work. If he was whistling, there was a good chance we could make it through the night without too much commotion. Unless mom was looking for a fight.

[@JaredCosgrove-gg3xj]

I remember my dad yelling at me and when I told him I was scared he just said gooooood. There was nothing behind his eyes. It messed me up.

[@lauraelzey6371]

This whole issue has completely blown my mind. My therapist told me I had cptsd (not in the dsm) and when I researched it I was like, I thought this was most people and that I was being “too sensitive” or being a “drama queen”. Is this rare? How many people think like this?

[@DarkMoonDroid]

More and more common.

[@katiflanagan8534]

It sincerely feels so odd to me that there are folks out there who don't have all this!! They can just live life. That's wild.

[@lindastewart8115]

my parent locked me in a closet if I was upset or panicking. I feel better, there's only 50 things wrong with me. I thought there were a lot more.

[@karmamarshall5543]

You are amazing and have saved my life tonight

[@abbywoolfson584]

I’m 65. Thank you for helping me understand. It’s been torture for me. A lot of work. It’s amazing to me how I fit into the descriptions you describe. I wish I knew this when I was much younger. I have been in therapy for the longest time. I needed help navigating through challenges, liking myself, unfinished projects. I leave trails of what I have been doing. I do give up , it’s exhausting. Thank you again continue to learn .

[@ievgeniagodynskyi1049]

I don't know how to describe my excitement and admiration for Mr. Fletcher's mission of enlightenment and education!❤ The explanations of trauma are precious. I picked several videos from this series randomly first. But each episode rang bells within my mind so profoundly that I started watching this Trauma video from the very beginning. Thank you so much!🙏

[@iw9338]

As the 10th child, I do sometimes rock myself to sleep.

[@vonniemichelle3670]

This is a gift. Omg. Thank you.

[@DogsReignSupreme]

In recent years I have become aware of the automatic lies. Instead of going with it, I stop the conversation, and start again. A chapter in a family therapy book was titled , The Family With a Secret. So appropriate.

[@chop7370]

Had a knife under a pillow for a year. I wear my clothes to bed.

[@mcadams518]

my mother had my sister and I and herself sleep in our clothes on many occasions. She knew she may have to go on the run in the middle of the night. it was terrifying once I was old enough to realize we were in danger.

[@coxvigy6]

I did too. When I got married it amazed my husband.

[@passinthru4788]

May God bless you, Mr. Fletcher. You are an instrument used mightily to enlighten and heal the multitude. For those who seek awareness, you are a gift. Let the healing begin among the populace.

[@Yousually_Me]

Dam! This is a life saver, im in my 40s, you should've been my 2nd dad, he was a college professor @ 1 point back in the 70s an 80s no lies & thank you Tim, no suck up & thanks for the philanthropy and humanitarianism

[@DeeDeeOrr]

You teach very well on a dynamic topic for living skills.

[@syzygyfarm]

6:41 -- My brain has been my biggest hurdle. The reactivity I have because my frontal lobe takes a spontaneous hiatus is most difficult to address. The result often adds to my shame. ☹

[@deniseporter5143]

Blam, first person in my life that has me down! 🤔 amazing

[@joanmcmullin8971]

Wow,excellent videos explained so well,thanks so much!

[@smalltv459]

I have allergies because of my anxiety. My mother was an abused narc. The rest of the family doesn’t want to see it for what it is, I have to do this on my own but it’s nice to know someone is educated. I’ve never even heard these things from my therapist😩😩😩

[@user-rp5lm8yn5t]

Wonderful video's, Wouldn't it be nice for everyone to watch these video's, for understanding and purpose.

[@eliseta4232]

last ones are purely what's considered to be ADHD symptoms. I do hope there's more research done cause I have no doubt lots of people diagnosed with ADHD also suffer from Complex Trauma symptoms.

[@Narrowway7]

He’s linked adhd to be a symptom of cptsd. He mentions that amongst other “mental illnesses” in some of his other videos that they’re actually linked. It’s neural pathways you build as a child in efforts of self preservation/coping/dissociation

[@depressica3430]

ALL of my ADHD symptoms are 100% aligned with CPTSD. I'm so torn on whether I have both or if everything is just from trauma.

[@jimmurphy9904]

23:39 yeap you better believe I’m afraid to get my hope’s up cause they always get crushed. I clearly remember not knowing how I would be treated when greeted at the door was constantly not certain that I did something wrong. Then 2 plus years of very specific set of trauma from someone and never knowing what each day would be. Then when that ended you better believe anything felt too good to be true which made me feel guilty when things went well and that guilt led me to trying to be perfect so then becoming a born again. Then the toxic job for 8 years that I never knew how my boss would feel everyday and got anxiety everyday to even check my cell from from boss’s texts. Felt so weird to have a new friend like my buddy K to be someone I see that doesn’t treat me different and never know if will be mad at me for no reason when I see him. I’ve lived almost all of my life from elementary school childhood to present waiting for a friend, peer, boss, family, partner, tell me their mad at me for something I did wrong.

[@mcadams518]

good God. I remember that. I finally got tired and said Frick it. i started being me and if someone got mad, oh well. crossed that bridge IF it came up. Stopped giving SO much of a damn.

[@janwisz4070]

How can you know me so well given that we have never met? You are not alone

[@shinegrowldove1110]

thank you for your videos

[@tracylstuan]

Great series of videos! Thank you pastor Tim Fletcher for your sharing.

[@danmalone5365]

Severe emotional trauma causes lasting changes in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex region of the brain that is responsible for regulating emotional responses triggered by the amygdala. Specifically, the region regulates negative emotions such as fear that occur when confronted with specific stimuli. Then what happens. Learning disabilities

[@DarkMoonDroid]

Yep.

[@reginaarnone4845]

Dan malone that's what Bessel Van Der Kolk discovered.

[@danmalone5365]

Double empathy communication differences that cause communication breakdown between Neurotypical and Neurodivergent simply have two different ways of communicating. But it is in the Neurotypical world that labels Neurodivergent people's having the deficiency the inability to efficiently communicate effectively. The basis of the theory double empathy the mismatch between two people can lead to faulty communications. This disconnect can occur in many levels depending on the individual experiences or survival styles adapted in order to survive the environment growing up. A Neurotypical person may be able to navigate reasonably well in a variety of unsatisfactory environments just because they have mastered the communication tools that are required and accredited in the neurotypical educational systems to survive in a demanding environment. A neurodivergent person who struggles with communication skills because the way they are presented along with social emotional developmental skills, it would be like having both hands tied behind their back in a boxing match. Only because they are already at a disadvantage position in the neurotypical accredited educational system. This is likely to be exasperated through differences in language use and comprehension. The greater the divide the more difficult people have communicating. Setting the stage for a hypervigilance atmosphere creating a stress response to the neurodivergent person only because the criteria has been design by the minds of the neurotypical educational system, excluding the neurodivergent community the necessary tools needed in the educational system depriving them of critical communication tools. Basal cortisol elevation causes damage to the hippocampus and impairs hippocampus dependent learning and memory. Chronic high levels of cortisol causes functional atrophy of the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis the hippocampus and amygdala and the frontal lobe of the brain. So with all that bull shit said how is it that a person with a spectrum disorder going to communicate or execute his or her executive function to a higher functional ability in a world that has been designed for the neurotypical singular minded approach, not accounting for the neurodivergent communities learning differences. For me my learning difference became the lesser of the two disabilities, the one I was born with, the other being the environment that I was forced into, a hostile stressful environment. Unable to effectively integrate socially the ability to interact efficiently invited verbal, physical abuse, shaming, name-calling, bullied labeled as a retard creating a hypervigilance stressful environment that was so hostile I just shut down. When children miss these critical developmental markers at the sensory motor level, the physical foundation is not in place to support the emergence of their emotional and rational capacities, easily victimized, unable to effectively protect themselves, basically your fucked. Now as the mind continues developing basic developmental markers that were missed, being Connection, Attunement, Trust, Autonomy, Love and Sexuality, have been compromised altered. So when these developmental markers have been altered or missed as a child, the mind continues to develop only now in a altered survival style, fragmented from the original developmental markers. Now the neurodivergent that is already at a disadvantaged vulnerable stage, has now entered the twilight zone. Based on available resources, God's good grace, and a whole bunch of luck go forth my son and build your empire. At this point you have been hoodwinked in to believing the tools provided were top-notch or acceptable not knowing anything else. Basically set up to fail providing inferior tools. Ushering in the likelihood of physical and mental health issues. Setting the neurodivergent up for failure, creating the inability to adequately process information in stressful environments. Over time, that can cause hypervigilance stress related illnesses such as addictions. So like a circuit breaker that's been stressed one too many times as a result of inadequate tools to navigate a stressful world. Now the hyper-vigilance conditioned mind dominates emotional stability, causing hyperarousal a triggering condition, causing a fight, flight, freeze, fawn or highbred a combination of those categories as a result of mental abusive brainwashing techniques. Where was my parents, another story. Besides that what difference does it make. Those days are long gone. So back to cortisol. If your brain is being constantly triggered, resulting in a saturation of cortisol your pretty much doomed. So it wasn't the disability or learning difference I was born with. It was the environment the labeling that became the obstacle to overcome. The spiral of shame was learned early on by a brainwashing environment that is triggered by stress by not adequately processing real time information presented within a certain timeframe. That's the problem with hidden disabilities, there just that hidden, not necessarily by choice because you learned to mask because you were conditioned to feel ashamed for the way you were born. So because shame lives in darkness. The two interact with each other. So shame and it’s co-conspirators guilt, anxiety, fear, depression, they all feed on each other causing a spiral into hell. That was my experience in the so-called educational system. So as a result of that type of brainwashing on a daily basis for 12 years reduces neurodivergent peoples ability to think critically or independently. Setting a person up for exploitation throughout life. So in order to keep from being overwhelmed triggered. It requires a hypervigilance default. A required hyper vigilant analytical assessment of your environment is required, studying everyone and everything around me, mostly people on how they reacted. This allowed my scattered mind to bring into focus the missing pieces that provided better understanding focus, time to think a better understanding of my environment.. This requires shuting down masking, hyper focusing in a world of full color into a world of black and white. No longer a free autonomous human being. Human beings are born with essential adaptive abilities. The capacity to disconnect from painful internal and external experience. We are able to disconnect from experiences of pain and anxiety that accompany the lack of fulfillment of our primary needs. To the degree that any core need is chronically unfulfilled, children are faced with a crucial choice: adapt or perish. Conditioned to survive their environment, now a slave created by the single-minded Neurotypical educational system. There's a Million Spinoffs from that theory. I have first-hand experience I lived it. Just my opinion, life as a pack mule with blinders. But keep in mind if your intention is to deliberately confuse me through rhetorical rhetoric semantics for personal gain. I'm pretty much doomed. Only now through those types of experiences I have finally learned to walk away leaving no answer for my reaction. What was the question executive function. I have no idea what you talking about. Just kidding.

[@danmalone5365]

All of dad's children have one thing in common. Executive brain disorganization. Executive function is a broad group of mental skills that enable people to complete tasks and interact with others. An executive function disorder can impair a person's ability to organize themselves and control their behavior. Then add dyslexia a language learning difference that requires a different approach to language-based learning systems. It may take someone a little longer to master those types of communication skills but overtime will improve. The younger the student is the better chances of mastery will come in communication skills. ADHD happens when children grow up in stressed environmental conditions. A wide variety of those types of environmental conditions can vary from mild to extreme. CPTSD is a result of developmental trauma and shock trauma over a period of time. Definitely has an adverse effect on a child's ability to transition through the different developmental stages that all children go through. Only because the developmental stages were never available forcing the child to adapt purely for survival, The child has no other alternative completely reliant on their caregivers forcing children into a survival style. That is uniquely developed for their particular environment. With all of these differences that I have just barely touched the tip of the iceberg on have disastrous effects on our children and our society. No wonder children who grow up in these types of environments struggle throughout life.

[@danmalone5365]

@@reginaarnone4845 Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent. It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. Thomas Sowell

[@psycherevival2105]

I’m so grateful for your talks!

[@agiejones7651]

Incredible! I'm so glad I found you, making sense where there is none, thank you for shining the light where it's needed the most,,🙏🙏🙏🙌👌

[@elaineandrepont]

I went into cognitive shut down but struggled through it. I’m calm, more open and I’m sharing my feelings when I can with controlled patience for the reveling. I built these new brain circuits for sure. My future looks bright and I am learning self care along with self love. Triggers Happen. I know it’s counter intuitive. The 50 characteristics is new to me. Quite intriguing. Yes, I have been diagnosed with chronic long term on going stress. Powerless, overwhelmed, vulnerability, threatening, (environmental too), conflict, separation, abandonment and loss, problems with focusing not anxiety and no sleep problems. Meditational music, fear of change, unknown and success. Not afraid of change by welcoming it. Disfunction and abuse, yes. Insecure about money -limited mindset. Familiar set back. Self Sabotage, but always have hope. Hurt but not crushed hope even through family tries to crush it. Totally relate to this. Abuse and emotional pain felt this and it’s real. But I’m more stable now not wanting to please others in family I’m gaining momentum on keeping my hopes alive. Relapse is not going to get me down. Chaos and risky behaviors hurt. Reasons: severe ups and downs not normal to me. Used to stuff emotions and yes need some excitement to feel like I’m living. Not into chaos. Trauma-trust issues. I’m fortunate to have family. Totally get this but it’s mild. Afraid to jump. Cut yourself off of help and positive people. In control so I can trust myself. Manipulating people overt way. Silent treatment. Don’t talk-punished or gossip. Learn to be dishonest (Do not relate). I tell the truth and am totally honest. Authority issues, yes! They do abuse that power. I handle criticism very well. I welcome constructive criticism . I think through it and work it out. Hyper sensitive focused on negative; on road to relapse. No obsessions on this. Instant gratification grabber. Delay gratification. Take it because this opportunity may not come up. Self medicating guilt and pain-go to a counselor is not a good idea to meditate. I like self work. Treat me with respect and an adult not like a kid. But act like a kid and a victim. Coping strategy.

[@ingrid536]

every episode he just keeps calling me out like I've had 5 "Aha!" moments already 😭

[@randyrice854]

So much truth ringing so true for me. Thank you so much for the videos. I’m listening to you

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

my so-called "best friend" maliciously violently brutally viciously raped me. he raped and tortured my soul. left me. without warning. abandoned and betrayed me. discarded me, like garbage, for another. may he suffer for what he's done to me. now I am traumatized and suffer major PTSD. I have constant hyperventilating debilitating paralyzing panic attacks. I'm being buried alive. 999-trillion layers of rage and grief suffocate me.

[@majapiraya1057]

Thank you so much for charing these videos. What a wake up call. Thank you!

[@karenwilliams1389]

So far...these videos are very helpful....but I had a happy childhood....haven't drank, smoked or done illegal drugs in almost 30 yrs. But I had 2 abusive marriage...(1)17 yrs...2 children (2) 22 yrs ...1 child.....who at the point where he was living his dreams.......took his life in NYC by running out in front of a subway...he was 25...his type 1 diabetes played a part..but he had a plan.....I understand everything you're saying...but now I just hide my light under a bushel basket....so I'm listening..In the last 6 years I've had 2-3 traumatic life events per year......and I'm scared of more to come!😣

[@avinandac]

Wonderful.... Tim... You are explaining my life so far to me..... The roller coaster ride..... Can't say how much I owe you... Thank you so much ❤❤🙏

[@rogerhiebner8540]

I believe that we all suffer from some form of complex trauma our parents did the best they could for us or so they thought and we try to do better for our kids but also fail in the process. Let's not blame fix but take ownership and remedy this terrible cycle in our lives. Thanks for this wonderful and great counseling may God bless us all in our endeavors to strive for perfection and to love Him above all and our neighbors as ourselves.

[@honoryourself2098]

thank you! very validating... so scared of success... it's annoying, people insist you're fine! yes need to (try to)sleep with the a lamp on

[@DarkMoonDroid]

Right? I'm past the self-shaming stages, but I've moved on to honest self-awareness. Flattery doesn't help me. It only reinforces the idea that if they knew the truth, they'd be gone. So sick of being told that I'm wonderful and that everything I say about myself which is honest and just self-aware is wrong.

[@jacksonmiller6679]

This is why I'm a born again gnostic. This guy is totally brilliant.

[@mcadams518]

what in the world is a born again gnostic? I thought a gnostic was neutral. didn't believe or disbelieve.

[@jacksonmiller6679]

@@mcadams518 that is an Agnostic. Adding an "A" to the front of a greek word is to negate something. Gnosis is knowledge. Gnostic and agnostic are not the same thing.

[@daveco4781]

Thank you for this series.

[@hey_lilz]

This is amazing …explains so much.

[@veronicameraz8781]

Thank you for these videos

[@donnag.3611]

This info. goes along w/ Dr. Caroline Leaf re: the brain!

[@debbiecrist8731]

So much great information. Thanks

[@Frank-qs5tb]

Excellent!!!

[@honestandfair1572]

Awesome thank you so much for the awareness

[@sarahjmount9221]

Thank you, again, Tim. You break this intricately confusing matter down to a comprehensive affliction in a way that does give me aspirations that I can change/heal. Incidentally, along with other resources I have acquired-your videos are saving my life. I’ve had (still have a great deal of) all of these symptoms and more at 55 yrs old. More than half my life squandered, misdirected, living in utter agony. Your list so far has me 17 for 17. However, the explanation w/the trust issues doesn’t quite match how I felt. I couldn’t trust myself at all, either. So, I never relied on myself. So, I never cared if I lived or died. I never even had the slightest sense of who I was, how I felt, what was real and what wasn’t, or what I needed, and forget what I wanted: That’s a joke. I never felt good enough to be alive for as long as I can remember. So, I was an addict, a follower, risk taker, thrived on chaos, sought out any type of (what I thought may be) love from all the users and losers. Every intimate example I gave all ties in w/many or all of your 17 symptoms at the same time. I suppose we’re all like that. You spell this stuff out so I really get it, the most, out of all the great teachers out there. Now like you say, we don’t like to have hope…I finally do have a lot that I will recover from this and have some semblance of a peaceful, joyous, conscious life. I look forward to watching the next video continuing on to your 50 CPTSD characteristics. ❤

[@AnaNas-bm2uv]

So good. Also persinally dr. Dispenza's meditation are extremely helpful to me. They really help me with maintaining the calm trough the day.

[@irenerush5106]

Very well done good things to think about when you have the complex trauma should be taught in schools

[@jimmurphy9904]

But I keep hearing “addict”, I’m not an addict but most of all of these 17 things are screaming out to me as ME. Do most complex ptsd sufferers end up addicts?

[@DarkMoonDroid]

He's looking at the percentage of addicts who have Complex Trauma. Not the number of people who have Complex Trauma who become addicts. This makes a difference. It bugs me too to keep hearing it, but he may be speaking at a special meeting for Addict/Alcoholics. Can't know. But if you're not an addict, join the club. I'm not either. I don't have substance abuse problems. But I've got alot of the other stuff!

[@jaereed7029]

Look at his Bio, his expertise comes from working with addicts. I was an addict and struggled 17 years after I got sober when abused by a narcissist, but I had a hard time with people focusing on the relapse when I was trying to work on what caused it. This has helped me bridge the gap, because the focus is not really the addiction but why it exists or what causes it to be such an issue. What may help here is to realize that while addict has the drug or alcohol connotation, that is not ONLY what defines an addiction. You can be addicted to working out, to shopping, sex, hobbies, food, etc... Is it possible you have developed addictions(even if evolved over time from one to another, like working out changed to gardening) that you do not categorize as an addiction? Just an idea to look at, no harm or judgement intended.

[@mcadams518]

exactly 💯 I'm not an addict either. how does this help?

[@hautecouture2228]

You don’t have to be intravenous drug user to be addict. You could be addicted to work, exercise, negative thinking, complaining, food etc

[@C-Span222]

Thank you!

[@mcd5478]

Thank you

[@chateaumojo]

Does anybody NOT have this?

[@pearlhall3787]

This was very enlightening. Thank you. So far, you have described my husband to a T. I guess he must have suffered from this as a child. He did come from a broken home & his father was an alcoholic. I was thinking he may be a narcissist, but I've been reluctant to put him there, because it's a hard thing to face, & he's fine, unless I say or do the wrong thing,. But, I never know ahead of time what that may be, to cause him to become so disagreeable (to put it mildly). Most times, it's something quite innocent & not meant as a criticism at all. We've been married 10 years, & I've felt like leaving numerous times. It's so hard continuing a relationship with him, but I keep trying. For years, I haven't known what to think. Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde came to my mind. I didn't really get to know him well before our marriage, as it was a long distance relationship. Knowing him better, I would now have kept him as a friend, but not married him. That's how stressful the marriage has been for me. He's a very good person though. I believe that & having heard part 1 of this video, I intend to listen to part 2. My question is, how do I help him become the person he is meant to be? Hopefully, part 2 will answer that question. Thank you. He is almost 70, so hopefully it's not too late.

[@sassymango9369]

Thanks!

[@MGLweareonlyone]

Everything you said is what my therapist said, it took a while, but I did find someone that clicked with me and hearing from youbthe same things he us teaching me has boosted my confidence in my therapist's ability to properly guide me, that and the power of prayer.

[@baileygregg6567]

Legal blind, STILL listing to doors... from afar and I cant help it... I care, I dont want to cause issues.... *sigh* Embarrased to hear what I think but I want to learn still... Still trying...

[@honestandfair1572]

Smart man

[@elsewherehouse]

21:53 -- If you dont get your hopes up, you wont be let down !!!

[@Star-dj1kw]

❤4:26 the limbic system response to perceived danger 5:20 what the limbic system does in extreme danger ⚠️ 5:56 contrasting the child from a dysfunctional home

[@denisestanley2087]

Wow. Just wow. Yes

[@truthministry7462]

Powerful

[@grumblekin]

My parents used the “here’s something to cry about” coping mechanism. It turns out that isn’t a good mechanism

[@lauraormsby1387]

Truth! 💜🙏🏻💜

[@dawnrobinson4299]

At 42 I have complex trama and been trigger childhood through last 2 years of my life and all I property him daughter taken from the laws were exist. ,my birth mom covert born by Vickie t hatton age 66 she had master security for federal government courthouse with her son who is covert. He is the one run the federal government security for 14 years. She has some other overt narcissistic soliders to protect her. She keep one son to do this and adused from birth to know my brother and me. I have been wiped out the government and she makesy live hard after stealing it legally away. This is the anti-christ and my dad didn't make it died suddenly heart failure by wolf. He served her like a slave 32 years. Today I'm the target and unstable in life. I wish there was a place to home

[@mcadams518]

children are a gift I truly believe. But, I experienced some children that I felt were absolutely life draining. maybe I just didn't know how to cope and those little boogers manipulated my weakness.

[@NenneN...]

So many overlaps between this and ADHD. I know ADHD and CPTSD are neurodivergence but apparently there is more of a biological component to ADHD (as opposed to environmental). So why such massive overlaps?

[@reemalovesmusic]

Genius

[@cjennings6179]

Hope SABOTAGED. Happens in entire life. HARD WORK HAS NO REWARDS. NO BETTER ACCEPTANCE. NO better PAY$$$$$$ in jobs Careers sales management or be your own boss. Hard WORK out put equals shattered dreams. No good CARE in REWARDS to come as a RESULT. EFFORTS SABOTAGED RUINED HOPELESS WORTHLESS. NEED Miracles Blessings of plenty of GOODWILLED People with ability skilled to provide LOVE.

[@nishasankaran]

Excellent ty💕

[@maritaandersson9394]

I have Diagnosd whit Complex ptsd and Atypiskautism 1 and koncentrastionstörning 47 år are know 53 ❤

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

(Is he an empath? Or a narcissist? I don't know, anymore. Could he be both?) My soul is raped. He raped me. Oh the anguish and the agony!! Fucking hell. I'm in hell. Hell with no escape. He fucked me up. Ruined me. Destroyed me. Raped my soul; shattered my heart; fucked with my mind. I am debilitated from the trauma. Paralyzed frozen. Living in constant terror and panic. I DIE INSIDE. THE PAIN IS UNCEASING AND UNBEARABLE. I LIVE IN A STATE OF PERPETUAL TRAUMA AND PANIC. I CAN'T BREATHE. I DON'T BREATHE. I could die from the pain of missing my best friend. Or, actually, not really my best friend, but they guy whom I thought was my best friend... He betrayed and abandoned me, discarded me like garbage!!! (HOW THE FUCK COULD HE?) Replaced me for another. My mind can't fathom, my heart can't comprehend. I live in perpetual panic and constant longing... How could he not miss me? How could he do this to me? Did he just replace me, really, just like that? I'm dying inside. My soul is truly raped and my heart is shattered. REMINDER TO SELF, SWEET SOUL: This was a karmic friendship, meant to be there for a limited time (17-months-ish) to teach you, about yourself! About boundaries, about self-love, about self-respect, about self-worth, etc... About a whole plethora of magical, juicy, alchemical things! The universe, God, your guides, your ancestors, are pushing you, lovingly, in the right direction: into your own magnificent powerful magical freedom! When you let go. The universe will catch you. It’s talking to you. Let go of everything and trust the universe. It’s within you. ✨💫 Jesus said to her... “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out, in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher) - John 20:16💖 NOTE TO MY TWIN FLAME: Dearest twin flame, I’m working on myself, I am being 100% healed, on every level, in every way. This is my purification process. I am doing this for me, for you, for us. I’m proud of myself, and I’m getting ready for you. I love you.

[@Molllielynnpauuce275]

Sir have you ever had a child who endred 42 years.. thnks today you awoken something.. I understand..✝️🙏😢

[@amberstiefel9748]

"The devil you know" My life in a nutshell

[@warriorsoftheheart]

16/17 ... I'm okay with authority, but boy some of the others.... It's going to be one hell of a journey.. I'll do update videos on my channel... pray for me..

[@rochellebroglen4155]

I started a healing journey about 5 years ago. I didn't realize that's what it was for at least the first couple of years. Although I can say I still have a lot of ground to cover, I know I have come a long way from where I once was. This is an excellent video series. It's definitely the most comprehensive that I have found. Some other resources that have helped me are "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw, "When the Body Says No" by Gabor Maté, and many videos by Lisa Romano. They are all available on KZbin. This isn't an easy journey. Have patience and compassion for yourself. Two thoughts that have helped me again and again are "If shame and guilt have gotten me here (or where I once was), more shame and guilt will only accomplish more of the same" and also to remember that our brains and bodies can literally become addicted to guilt and shame. They stimulate the reward center in the brain. We become so accustomed to making ourselves feel like crap, that when we stop doing it, our body craves the chemicals we generate when we feel that way. We then will begin to generate thoughts to start trying to trigger the feelings. This is mentioned in the book "Upward Spiral", the video "What the Bleep do we Know", and in numerous talks by Joe Dispenza. Knowing this has helped me stop spirals of shame and to actually do something productive instead of just beating myself down for my humanity. Good luck to you. Remember, the wounds you have weren't created in a day. They take time to heal. If you think you aren't moving fast enough, you are doing just fine. Just take it day by day. You matter. Much love.

[@lucylee198]

He is amazing! Is there anyone who knows his name and where to find him?

[@TimFletcher]

Tim Fletcher

[@lucylee198]

Thank you. Does he live in Australia? I looked him up on Google but there is only one psychologist Tim flicker in Australia. Does anyone know his website info?

[@TimFletcher]

He lives in Winnipeg, Canada findingfreedom.ca

[@lucylee198]

Someone dear to me who has many of complex trauma symptoms are looking for a therapist. I'd like to know if it would be possible for him to get some counselling from Tim.

[@TimFletcher]

We offer online counseling [e-mail]

[@raphaellavelasquez8144]

My mother enjoyed scaring me more.

[@cjennings6179]

Shatter dreams. What am i missing ?

[@nikkic83]

Wonder why Mom was never addressed.

[@bearifiablepau2095]

this is heavy. sometimes I wonder whether listening to this sort of content is beneficial or there is a sort of 'trauma by proxy' effect, kind of like second hand trauma you get when someone shares a detailed traumatic experience. I'll keep watching because it's interesting to me in hopes that curiosity does not get the best of me. In any case, Lord bless this man's work.

[@bonnieyuse5876]

I just assumed everybody slept with pepper spray in their night stand! 🙄