Signs You Might Be A Woman

[@TheBabylonBee]

Are YOU a woman? How do you know?

[@democratpro]

I is a women, i have the surgery receipts for proof!

[@yup6730]

I can have babies…pretty sure I’m a woman…lol

[@realrickyshea]

Oh I know I'm a woman from my plentiful facial hair. Like, what else could I be?

[@transparentglazier]

Gets hysterical if you forget to put the seat down If involved in an argument, repeats the same faults 10x times and remembers all the dates Complains if you fold her dainties incorrectly, Ill stop there for my own safety

[@democratpro]

@UCqv-hzFnIYtiKhV16KBT79g unfunny jokes almost never make it through the algo

[@michaelshubr4084]

“I too was once a man trapped in a woman’s body, and then my mother gave birth to me!”

[@taramiller3236]

So? That's not definite.

[@annetteglass2006]

Very funny. This deserves far more thumbs up!

[@AB-fv8qm]

Underrated comment

[@samthing4thetrack806]

but... you literally were a female first, and then that massive release of testosterone changed you... biologically(

[@roialvarez7542]

Hahaha very witty And I agree with them, UNDERRATED comment

[@TheSpicyLeg]

You’ll know you’re a woman if you can never decide where to eat, but you ALWAYS know where you don’t want to eat.

[@KayElayempea]

Haha, that is true!

[@gbonkers666]

Or if you let your husband choose, but eat off of his plate...

[@cannedlaughter2535]

@@gbonkers666 Guys be like: "Just order some fries, already. I want ALL the fries in my order and do NOT want to share!"

[@kareng9376]

Bahahahahahahahahaaaaa....well, you're not lying🤣

[@kareng9376]

These comments🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@michaeldavid6284]

#14: You can take boiling hot wax, pour it on your upper thighs, rip the hairs out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

[@shareeburbank2836]

🤣

[@MasaroZilian]

Just pour the boiling wax on the spiders

[@douglascooper1987]

GOLD!!🎯

[@13o13o]

credit goes to bill burr for this one

[@hogfarmer]

Now that right there is funny 😂

[@carinarampold6071]

If a guy askes you to find something they swear isn’t there and you find it there

[@BoughtByTheBlood]

Women's purses are like Santa's toy sack. They are gateways only they can access that lead to an endless number of different dimensions. THAT'S why they can magically reach into their purses & immediately pull out stuff a dude just spent 15 minutes searching for.

[@blackdragon796]

That's more like a mom and grandma super power. They just pull out the non existing objects out of their ash😹

[@blackdragon796]

​@@BoughtByTheBlood Fr, I can fit a long diving knife in one of my purses.

[@gavriel2005]

You don't realize how terrible it is to be a man who lives alone because of that problem, maybe I'll end up getting those tags that allow you to find things with your phone and tie them around things I know I keep losing (I lose my phone as well, but when I do I can tell it through my tablet or TV or computer to ring and then I can tell it's right in the place where I looked at 3 times already, so it's not a big deal to find the phone).

[@josephthomas2226]

this is backward. I can NEVER find things and my wife always sees what I am looking straight at but don't see.

[@ScaryBaldMan]

You might be a woman if you are "not hungry" but then proceed to "have a bite" of everything a man has ordered.

[@SensSword]

It's a shit test. Don't let her get away with it. If she persists, start wearing her socks around the house. Use every argument she used for sharing food, but apply it to socks.

[@eliadaballazhi2982]

it’s just a craving at that point. Like i know I'm full and i don't want to eat but somehow it looks too good to resist that one bite. In my country we have a specific word or phrase for that, and craving would be closest i guess.

[@TheJwbooth]

Bite, as in, starving wolf

[@Noperare]

When she says she is "not hungry", you buy extra large fries because she will eat half of yours but will be offended if you buy her own separated fries.

[@emmanuelmicron3685]

oh yeah. first time in my life i had to growl like a dog to defend my food.

[@pursuingpurity596]

My favourite thing about the ridiculous response of the supreme court justice is that by saying "I'm not a biologist", she pretty much agreed that our biological make-up determines our gender. I love it when people trip on their own nonsense.

[@road_king_dude]

Yep. Insanity

[@hunhsintze]

One astute observation...

[@davewissel4932]

How she should have answered: "Senator, my job is to sit in judgement of the laws YOU write. Do you have a specific law or definition in the present federal or state definition

[@road_king_dude]

@@davewissel4932 yep. But she punked out

[@stradlinggary6878]

Great insight!: She capitulated her position: She should have said: “I am not a psychologist” or “I am not a sociologist”. A biologist is pinned on chromosomes, DNA, and physiology. That being said, there are many people (though a very small subset of the population) who are mentally at odds with their biological state. This is a major barrier for them to lead normal lives (Here “normal” is a scientific term), and to fully benefit from the social structures established (by God) for the benefit for most individuals and for society as a whole. That is genuinely tragic for them and those who love them. But it is not a reason to dismantle a wholesome and rewarding social structure.

[@silviagregorowicz4786]

Thank you for this public service! I was so confused even after pushing out three humans. Now I'm 85% sure I'm at least 60% woman!

[@icallmysugarcandy]

I’m jealous. I’m sitting at 50/50. 😕

[@Mr._Anderpson]

Should anyone need help pushing them back in, I've been waiting for this opportunity to shine. As a man, it's all I have to offer. Might have to do a little Han Solo action on a frozen tauntaun to get the little bugger to fit, but where there is a will there is a way.

[@surfersilver6610]

I question your assessment of yourself, your body your choice and all, but I feel (Fu@K facts!) that your conclusion is possibly only 30% correct based on 50% of what you wrote making you 20% woman. Very possible your Trans-something.

[@sophiateague1739]

Gold

[@DekkarJr]

At least all 3 were humans! :D Would be wild if you pushed out the 3rd one and it was a whole litter of kittens. I'd have some question for the obgyn for sure!

[@Pedro38627]

If your car is a mess but your bedroom is spotless

[@momdad5368]

I am a woman and I approve of this message.

[@ajs96350]

But how do you know you are?

[@fluffysheap]

Going by the username, you might not be sure 🤣

[@hollowhelmet13]

really ?

[@momdad5368]

@@fluffysheap my kids set up this account, not me

[@Golfnut_2099]

I know I am NOT a woman... and I approve this message... (Just do not tell my wife how hard I laughed, because then the 8 pillows on the bed will stay there and I will have to sleep on the couch...)

[@pslgreg]

I remember Ben Shapiro saying to a guy who thought he was a woman and said he felt like a woman; How can you know you feel like a woman when you've never been one?

[@mikicoal]

The whole thing is bonkers. Everybody is an individual with no experience being any other person than themselves. Why not just say, "I am ME" and leave it at the spectrum that it is. Leave male and female descriptions for biological traits.

[@krdiaz8026]

Thankfully, with this video, that guy can prove he really is a woman. "I'm a woman because I have a lot of pillows!"

[@chenanigans]

Right? This always makes me think of how like right now for instance I'm a few days away from my cycle. I already know because I already start getting fatigued and sleepy and hungry and down in the dumps and then sore in certain areas. Once it starts I have full on debilitating cramps that leave me curled up in a fetal position with a heating pad wrapped around my abdomen and a bottle of Ibuprofen by my side. It is absolutely miserable. All the symptoms from beginning to end take about a week and half. And I still have to go and work and continue to function and smile and push through it because that's just life. Once a man has to go through this then they can talk to me about feeling like a woman. 😒😒😒. They will never experience what we do. To say they do is insulting and an absolute slap in the face. I respect men and appreciate their roles and contribution to society. If these kinds of ppl really respected us they would stop tryna erase us and our realities. It is rude.

[@48956l]

@@mikicoal I agree with this. Anyone should be able to adopt any gender role they’d like, dress however they’d like, speak and act however they’d like, and still be treated with basic human dignity.

[@HakaiKaien]

They feel and behave like women, even though no women behave like that

[@leftmikerightmike]

Thank you for this, I already thought my girlfriend was a woman, but this confirmed it and gave us both some much needed peace of mind.

[@kobusg7460]

Fire in the hole...

[@crazyvvirgoactions2416]

😂😂😂

[@davidduncan3365]

I'm not sure unless I hear that one question only a woman will ask. What are you thinking?

[@mikelisteral7863]

do you believe in the 'patriarchy' conspiracy theory? you might be a woman

[@orange_cat]

Confirmed. Your girlfriend and I agree.

[@cybercriminal3110]

OMG I had suspicions that I might be a woman, but after watching this video and failing most of these, I'm so relieved! Thank you!

[@MaxBelcher-wv2vy]

I thought I was a woman my whole life, but I started to have doubts after the first one: "Always cold".

[@droth1031]

That awkward moment when a satirical video speaks more truth than our current society

[@stephenleonard5612]

Sadly, there are a lot of those moments these days. Most headlines about the administration make me think, "I hope that's the Babylon Bee." It usually isn't. 😱

[@margaritakleinman5701]

Yup!!

[@plasticlawnchair7197]

it's satirical because its truth

[@eviea6897]

Not all of our society. Just a small faction of far left radical extremist idiots with big mouths, bad attitudes, and a complete lack of common sense and morals.

[@monkfishy6348]

That is most satire.

[@teresav2475]

After having 3 kids and having the bleeding thing, I still wasn’t convince that I’m a woman. But OMG I can totally tell the 2 shades of white. I am so happy 😅that this has confirmed that I am a woman!

[@bettytigers]

I wouldn't be surprised if you turn out to be a comedienne! 🙂

[@sammann3577]

Yeah bro you might be women bro

[@pommiebears]

I stopped at two. It wasn’t the kids, or giving birth that I didn’t like…. It was my ex husband lol. I knew I was a woman when I reached a certain age, and I’d have a bath, stand straight up…. And my boob was still under my foot! 😂

[@zizio960]

😂😂😂

[@mattiacenacchi726]

Yeah but if you're american technically you act like a man and so this confused you

[@JNETHollyday]

Listening to this while wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket surrounded by an assortment of pillows. I embrace my womanhood proudly.

[@hippy1002]

Embracing women is one of my favorite pastimes 😃

[@blackwater7183]

Those pillows.🤣

[@smythharris2635]

Me too, or is that a hash tag thing?

[@1014p]

Its alarming you both have a blanket and multiple pillows. But its hilarious at the same time.

[@michaelsparks6084]

Lol, good one!

[@ajmittendorf]

My new favourite term: "Femalian." (1:40)

[@Nicronomicon_The]

I am a femalian feline trapped in a Femalian body and ugh it sucks bro...also I'm freezing because I changed the thermostat by 1 degree...truth.

[@ajmittendorf]

@@Nicronomicon_The I'm pretty sure you're human, but I understand the thermostat thing. I'm just the opposite: burning hot in the middle of a January blizzard with no heat in the house.

[@grantbarnes3678]

< femoid

[@HisWordisLife4U]

One big one you forgot: When you tell someone about a problem you don't want a solution, you just want them to listen and agree that it is hard/stupid/difficult/messed up, etc.

[@grahamleupp]

That should go right after 'being cold' !!

[@tomgreene7942]

Hey, you just described my significant other. You just confirmed that her pronoun is she and she is a woman? Golly!

[@annerolls444]

Bingo!!!😁

[@HisWordisLife4U]

@@annerolls444 We just want to hear them say: That must be hard to deal with honey, can I do something to help? Can I draw you a Bubble bath and take the kids to the park so you can have some peace and quiet? Can I make you a cup of tea? Can I rub your feet? Can I make dinner tonight? Ii am sorry that is happening, let me know when you are ready to pray about it and I will pray with you. I love you, you are strong and you can handle this.

[@Mr.Ekshin]

If you can't count the personal hygiene products you need in the bathroom on your fingers... you might be a woman. And if you need all your fingers and toes, plus those of several friends to count the products in your bathroom... then you're DEFINITELY a woman. And if you're now wondering what anyone would ever need beyond the basic 5 (soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, electric shaver and deodorant) then you're DEFINITELY a dude.

[@jac7309]

Birthing a human and the fact that “I bleed” didn’t totally convince me but realizing why I can’t follow simple movie plots or make up my mind on what to eat has finally helped me realize that I am a woman. Thank you for this.

[@o0GrayMatters0o]

i'm glad you're "fine" with that

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

@@katherineprice96 Fun fact, you are also a woman if you are unable to detect obvious sarcasm. Congratulations, I think you might be a woman.

[@katherineprice96]

@@TheStraightestWhitest haha...that was actually my husband that you must be replying.

[@draculauraxox]

@@TheStraightestWhitest No way, as a woman who uses sarcasm for humor, I guess I am not a woman since I am completely able to detect sarcasm!

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

@@draculauraxox Correct. You're a man. Women don't have sarcasm.

[@kevinogill6726]

Been married 30 years and that "I'm fine" quote is spot on. The only time you can be certain she is not fine is when she says she is.

[@phamquang7885]

"When they ask you how you are, you just have to say that you're fine, but you're not really fine..."

[@icallmysugarcandy]

When a woman says “Fine”, it’s your cue to respond, “My beautiful sweetheart. I can see something is bothering you. I want to hear what’s on your mind. Please tell me. I’m listening.” I’m totally joking. When she says “Fine”…RUN!😂

[@MS-ye9tg]

Really? All this time I thought my wife was fine. I better ask her again.

[@julietmurphy8637]

My husband pointed at me when the "fine" thing was mentioned. "You! When you say you're 'peachy', I know you're not!" 😂

[@fredstjohn7165]

@@icallmysugarcandy But then her reply is, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

[@YohielSpeaks]

"Always cold!" You nailed it right out of the gate. Perfect!

[@stephenkalatucka6213]

They can wear a sweater, but would rather you set the thermostat to "Surface of the Sun."

[@TheMaan2008]

🤣🤣

[@patricktobin1388]

Until menopause... NOW I'M the one wearing sweats inside when it's 95 outside!

[@davidmason7093]

Until later on in life.

[@TheDennyWoman]

“Always cold”…….until menopause.

[@perryjohnson6461]

This should be mandatory viewing for all gender studies majors.

[@russs7574]

It should be mandatory viewing for all Woke Warriors and SCOTUS justices.

[@surfersilver6610]

ALL Politicians too, with all the Dems/Left/Liberals put in the FRONT of the room and sent home with extra homework.

[@Squee_Dow]

I want a huge bag of popcorn and a large coke to watch the leftists go into convulsions from all the triggers contained herein.

[@ruthietreselan]

Lol

[@LeelooMinai]

It's not funny, because it's based on ignorance and naive simplifications - it's funny only for simple-minded people who think that making fun of nuances makes them look good.

[@northernzeus768]

Thank you Babylon Bee. Being 6’3”, covered in hair and never having had a human pop out of me I was confused about my gender. However…I have not hit a curb in several weeks and have no extra pillows on my bed so I can confidently say that I am a man. A sense of relief has washed over me.

[@rmp7400]

But are you always cold!?? This is a real phenomenon because women have at least one pint less blood in their bodies (more fat, but less blood).

[@Tawadeb]

So insightful

[@glanni]

Can you tell what shade of color things are?

[@foryousten]

I often feel cold, and I’m bleeding regularly, I’m carpenter,

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

I am grateful for your drive and astuteness, as a woman, myself. You have my sincerest apologies, on behalf of the majority of women, for the confusing oppressiveness of feminism.

[@tracy4aminute376]

I am a woman and I am fine with this message, really just fine, yah don’t EVEN worry about it . I SAID I WAS FINE!

[@slatsgrobneck7515]

LOL!! :)

[@surfersilver6610]

Here have a pillow 👐🏻💊+low or 4. 👐🏻💊+low 💊+low 💊+low. They may be filled with Valium or filled with down feathers, anyone's guess. Either should work though. I think the color scheme is hideous but I'm a guy so what do I know.

[@sepandghanouni7741]

But I think your body language says otherwise

[@jamesmckane1205]

Okay Okay I believe you. 😫😫😫

[@khill4053]

😂😂😂😂

[@WhatIfComedy]

It's a problem that this is so hard for people to comprehend.

[@homesteadnurse]

My husband is a college biology professor. I'm going to suggest that he use your insightful video as an additional teaching tool, just in case some of his students aren't sure.

[@WastedTalent83]

ahhahaha nowadays, this could really be an eye opening considering how tarded are kids xD

[@Kornknealious]

I'm sorry to say, but I'm willing to bet at least one or two of your Husband's students might honestly be literally confused over this issue. Please let us know when it does happen. And please let us all know their reaction after they've watched this well researched video. :P

[@itsallokay]

I'm curios to find out the outcome, please keep us posted!

[@taryncornelius548]

He will get fired !!!

[@morpheus6749]

Is your husband even allowed to differentiate between man and woman in the classroom, let alone describe the differences in specific terms? I highly doubt it.

[@blujay9191]

When I moved out of mom's house a friend gave me perhaps the best piece of advice I ever got. "Don't spend any real money on furniture, dishes, or any other kind of home furnishings or decorations. Sooner or later you will meet a woman and all that stuff comes with them."

[@lizh4933]

Hahahahahahaha!! That's true and when you get married more shit comes in the door.

[@simplegospel692]

That was good advice. 🤔

[@payaj2815]

Hahahahaha right

[@surfersilver6610]

Taking notes....📝 "Buy IKEA....or Walmart...or Cracker Jack box."

[@NibsNiven]

And even if she doesn't have her own furniture, she'll shame you into throwing yours out and making you pay for crap that she likes.

[@pabrowncoatbrewer7154]

If you can turn a compliment into an argument, you might be a woman.

[@MrAbeAllen]

you look so nice today

[@sidwhiting665]

​@@MrAbeAllen , are you saying I didn't look nice yesterday? Are you?!?

[@edmoody2920]

OH THATS HOW ITS GOING TO BE, FINE!

[@did_I_hurt_your_fee_fees]

Me: My God baby, you look amazing! Her: What? I don't look amazing all the time? Me: Of course you do but you just look really good now in that dress! Her: So you think I look ugly most of the time. Me: :/ Tonight is going to suck, isn't it?

[@mindless2831]

This definitely should be one of them

[@AuntBBrett]

OMGoodness - thank you for this video, I am still cracking up!!! Also love all the comments, all are soooo true!!!!

[@TheSpicyLeg]

One of the first lessons I learned after marriage (besides, evidently, not being a woman) is that those 8 pillows on the bed are not to be used as pillows. She put 8 pillows on the bed, so I throw 6 of them off on the floor. I mean I need one. One pillow got me through 2 deployments to the Middle East. I think that suffices, but no, we have to have extra ones to take off and put back on but never freaking use. 20 years later I still don’t get it.

[@cornpopishuntersrealdaddy4690]

Thank God I'm not alone 😆

[@daviddechamplain5718]

My wife puts one in the crook of her legs at night. I have no idea what the other four are for.

[@mercyp7151]

As a woman who requires efficiency in house chores, I will say that I hate those extra pillows. I also know pretty fast what I want to eat.

[@vax20051]

I love pillows. You all need at least 6 pillows on your beds or my world view will be shattered.

[@jackalenterprisesofohio]

The most I can presume is 1. "Decor" 2. The irrational fear someone will show up as a guest and see how "horrible our bedroom is" 3. Makes the nest look bigger for like....... reproductive reasons...... 4. Decor 5. _Decorations_

[@canonen100]

If you’re strong and independent but can’t change a flat tire. You might be a woman.

[@ExWEIMan]

So true. My middle management wife doesn't even know where it is stored in the car! I asked her what she would do if she had a flat tire-her answer-she would call me. I should add she expects me to put her four winter tires on by mid-November. She KNOWS they are kept in our storage locker AND she expects me to change her floor mats from the summer cloth mats to the winter rubber mats at the same time.

[@saltycreole2673]

My daughter can kick my ass now. 😒 Is mistaken for a boy, tough as nails. Can fix anything thanks to me! She even likes men, not women! Don't be jealous please.

[@cornpopishuntersrealdaddy4690]

😆👌

[@goldiefatale]

we can change the tire but don't want to

[@LarryDMitchell]

@@goldiefatale you don't HAVE to!

[@calvinmurphy5037]

My mother, OBM, told me, "Men have outies, women of innies, and that's how they make babies." I think I was five, maybe six, but it occurred to me even then she wasn't talking about belly buttons. That was the first of my sex education, and mom, was not only not a biologist, but she, despite having only an eighth-grade education, has been proven right ever since.

[@joanmoody447]

Good one. I’m going to remember that!

[@terrykelly6113]

I am 70 and always thought the reams indies and outies referred to my belly button.

[@rogerreid5925]

She should have been nominated to the Supreme Court

[@CoffeenSpice]

@@rogerreid5925 and she would probably make a better job

[@blue-fj9ky]

Your mom is smarter than a Supreme Court justice and I am not being ironic I mean it!

[@cameronpike1513]

The pillow one is sooo accurate! 🤣🤣

[@billaveda6408]

You might be a woman if you can still remember that time 20 years ago when your husband annoyed you for not buying the dry oregano that you had put on the shopping list but instead brought home dry parsley, and you never forget to mention it to him when you get into an argument about how he doesn't take your needs seriously.

[@daveeyes]

Grudges last forever.

[@anneb889]

Omg, that one seems extreme. I thought bringing up the time my husband forgot to pick up our daughter from daycare was a little mean to reference. But, you’re still together after 20 years….so that’s something. I’m such a pest I would probably buy some warehouse sized huge thing of oregano and say I don’t want to hear about it anymore. 🤣

[@00Recoil]

Well, obviously. You mistook one dried green leafy herb for another. That's not going away any time soon. That's not something you just "get over".

[@raymundhofmann7661]

It is just that "parsley" is a code for a long history of not serving your master appropriately.

[@54fighting5]

That seems pretty specific Bill. You have my sympathies🙏

[@rickintexas1584]

Wow! My wife is a woman. Thanks guys! BTW, it was the 6 pillows thing that gave me the final clue. You guys are awesome!

[@did_I_hurt_your_fee_fees]

Do you throw 5 of them on the floor when you go to bed at night or do you have to keep them on the bed when you sleep and have your feet dangling off the bed?

[@GrassPossum]

That's the only one I doubt. Having had stable angina for years, I had seven pillows, and if a doctor suspects heart problems in a man, they ask "how many pillows do you sleep with". It's standard procedure. However those useless fluffy pillows, are a tell. At least my pillows had a use. I am a no on all others though so remain confident I am a man.

[@mburke285]

Polite people don't talk about what the extra six pillows are on the bed for. But it's not for sleeping.

[@timopper5488]

When you married her, how certain at that point were you that she was a woman? And how long until you finally received the 6 pillows clue?

[@mikelisteral7863]

do you believe in the 'patriarchy' conspiracy theory? you might be a woman

[@kraevinmoorehed1776]

You know you're a woman when you're angry at your significant other after a dream you had .

[@fritzmiller9792]

Ok, full confession (being completely secure in my manhood)....I have done that before. I was mean one day, ALL DAY, to my wife and at the day's end I suddenly realized the cause of my anger it was an impossibility in real life and must have been a dream. We ( mostly I haha) still laugh about it. So guys can do that too.

[@brantdanger]

Oh hell yes. I get in trouble every few weeks because of a dream my girlfriend had.

[@zac3392]

“Honey, I don’t even LIKE ur sister…”

[@o.r.j3213]

@@fritzmiller9792 hate to break it to you bro. It appears you were a woman all along🫢

[@michelemarino3579]

I got mad at my daughter a couple of months ago for something she did in my dream. 😂

[@BretJ-r2n]

God knows I needed a laugh like that! And so did you guys, Thank you for clearing up the perplexing mystery. F'n awesome!!

[@officerahmo]

Going through this comment section is literally therapy. What you hear in the media nowadays and the weirdness that's expected from both men and women, seeing someone recognize who they ACTUALLY are is very calming.

[@traddymom4368]

Consoling. Definitely consoling that there are other human beings who get it.

[@creationisntgood942]

@Russell Phelan What?

[@JohnSimpson-r5d]

Right on!

[@guillermoperezsantos]

If you can´t remember were you left the keys just 5 minutes ago... BUT you can perfectly remember what you boyfriend said and make you cry 5 years ago

[@brentfreeland5834]

Why are women so good at archeology? Because they live for digging up the past. 😄

[@mrs.torres7035]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MrBootneck3027]

Like elephants, they never forget.

[@fred8174]

Ypu hold a grudge longer than an Irishman; which is forever.

[@blackdragon796]

Before we started dating, he said he was gonna kidnap me and play basketball. This always make me cry🥺💖

[@romans1229]

You know you’re a woman when : You have a closet full of clothes and “ nothing to wear”

[@zoebaggins90]

Nothing appropriate to wear for that particular occasion.

[@mlokole254]

I'm a definitely a woman, thanks for confirming

[@jacquesmerde3282]

We had two walk-in closets full of her clothes and shoes. She could never find anything to wear.

[@kendrawalker5863]

That's right!

[@gusloader123]

@@jacquesmerde3282 Probably because she blimped-out within a month of buying the "Twiggy" sized clothes.

[@matthewjohnson9317]

Whoa you guys figured it out!! Amazing!! Good work

[@chaplainand1]

You might be a woman if you clean the whole house when you're angry because the "not the woman" in your life failed to read your mind about..something...anything. You might be a woman if you say something like, "If you really loved me, you'd know what I wanted!". Thanks for the list. Oh, and you might become a single male if you show this to any women in your life and expect them to appreciate it, even a little.

[@skeinofadifferentcolor2090]

Fact!!

[@democratpro]

Watch ur tone, boomer!

[@House_Of_Cards_]

You know what man, I have learned to read her mind based on previous experiences dealing with her behavior. I avoid arguments around 70% of the time. But sometimes I am just distracted 😂

[@17h127]

It's easy to forget males don't come with mind reading software. Have to remind myself sometimes lol.

[@themazemaster1]

Great advice Neil, but I am still tempted to send this to my wife, I mean it was all so true. How could she not like that, I love to be right and am sure she will agree. See now I need to send this to her, for science. If I don't respond please report me missing :)

[@Gandoff2000]

If your husband has been looking for something for 15 minutes and you just pick whatever it is up and hand it to them, you might be a woman.

[@davebeech236]

And it was probably you who put it where it didn't belong instead of where the husband left it.

[@gunblade7610]

That is because women are magicians. My wife produced something I swear right in front of my eyes out of no where when i was literally looking in the same area for a couple min.

[@fredneecher1746]

This is true when in shops. Women have special shopping powers.

[@jasonknowles5362]

My dad and I have found that if a woman puts something away we can't see it, even if they tell us where to look, but if either of us put something away we can find it immediately.

[@michaelnash2138]

It's the other way around for us. She can have her key lanyard around her neck and ask me where are her keys...

[@soc8581]

While out with a group of friends, if you have the uncontrollable "need" to go to bathroom as a group, you might be a woman.

[@plectro3332]

Or having beers with the boys. Either or

[@roul4842]

saftey thing

[@mohammedcohen]

...can you IMAGINE a guy asking his friend if they all want to follow into the MEN'S room???

[@mesamom62]

Given the state of public bathrooms these days, we go for herd protection. Seriously, some of us have been traumatized and can use the company.

[@palaceofwisdom9448]

I've never actually witnessed this. Are we sure it's a thing and not an invented trope to advance the plot on TV shows?

[@rockkitty100]

If you give directions by saying "turn right at the blue house and then left a ways down when you see the pretty garden on your left next to the yellow house" vs. "go west on 5th and turn north on H ave."

[@TheWilferch]

Compass directions...won't work with the so called fairer sex.

[@davidpitchford6510]

Or turn left at [some ridiculous department store I never heard of]

[@jennifergirling6850]

True😂

[@cvn6555]

You know you're a woman if you regularly turn to your spouse and say "I was thinking..." and that phrase is always followed by an idea that will cost him thousands of dollars. This video was very well done, not just for content but for concept, writing and acting. High production values. Even the cheesiest of backgrounds was perfect.

[@Zak6959]

That’s a good one

[@calmdown.384]

I’ve been known to do this. 🤔

[@abrareads]

This has me dying because I do this too my husband 😂😂

[@egrogan6482]

Agreed! See also "Honey, I have an idea..." every male I've ever known suddenly becomes very quiet and apprehensive. btw, I'm a 67 y.o. woman, I have lots of experience with this.

[@yazpistachio4901]

I can’t back into a parking space…does that make me a woman?

[@darrenclift6704]

if she wakes up from a dream, beats on you because you cheated on her in her dream

[@waynebunyan1195]

Been there, done that and she was mad at me all day for it.

[@svenjansen2134]

Vague remembrance of that..

[@TLK22]

My ex would say that sometime when she woke my up at night I would get mad at her. I would hold a conversation with my eyes wide open. The next day I didn't remember anything and she would be mad at me and not tell me why. Luckily it never happen with my wife.

[@TheCaptainP1]

Broooo why is this so accurate

[@Average1212]

I woke up with a bruised back once from being kicked because I cheated in her dream......... Then I got yelled at when I asked WTF.

[@andrewheffel3565]

You know you might be a woman if you say, "nothing for me" at the fast food joint, but eat half mine after I get my food.

[@ppumpkin3282]

We went out to dinner with a women who said she was "nut hungry" so we only ordered appetizers. Then she ate our appetizers. Or she needs to know what your going to order before you decide to order.

[@RESISTAGE]

happens with my wife all the time. I think it's because she's a woman. but I may be wrong.

[@PhxLawBall]

This is SOOOoO true!

[@nihilistic7840]

That's her way of being close to you

[@andrewheffel3565]

@@nihilistic7840 Yup, and I make sure I order enough to share.

[@HappyFencers-dj2pz]

Love it, from Dublin Ireland

[@markgrygielewicz8047]

I am always cold, and I thought I was a woman, but seeing this video, I have realised that I am in fact dead, and that I have been dead for a number of weeks. Thank you The Babylon Bee for clearing up this problem that I have.

[@evelyneself4938]

Funny, made me laugh.

[@bartman59laj55]

At least you can look forward to voting in the coming election......

[@chuckintexas]

@@bartman59laj55 - Yeah , but ONLY as a Demoncrat .

[@-..l]

I love my body pillows cold and partially decomposed.

[@alisabundrick4707]

I thought I was a women until this video - how many of these criteria must I fit.... I am always hot and I can figure out how a movie will end usually within the first 30 mins and I can smell sarcasm a mile away....so.... I guess my pronouns are ummm.....Her/him?

[@robynguinn8941]

Being female, this resonates 100% with reality.

[@mikelisteral7863]

do you believe in the 'patriarchy' conspiracy theory? you might be a woman

[@DekkarJr]

yep girl its so true

[@monkey6207]

Why do you get involved in scammish pyramid schemes? I'm a woman and I'd never do something that dumb.

[@sparkles999rose2]

All but hitting the curb, my husband does that

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

@@sparkles999rose2 He's clearly a sigma, testing the lengths of insurance to strengthen society. We should all thank him.

[@truthforthought9241]

I love what my professor told me "nonsense is nonsense even coming from a smart person" just because you have five or 10 phds doesn't give you the right to make up nonsense and call it logic.

[@Tridd666]

If you have more than one phd you're not smart

[@relaxation-Corner]

🙌🙌🙌

[@steviewondek]

Peer reviewed studies of respected medical professionals are hardly "nonsense" only to someone who doesn't grasp the subtleties or have the cerebral capacity understand the subject.. Luckily for you peer reviewed medical studies aka "nonsense" will one day save or prolong your life.

[@Tridd666]

@@steviewondek gamma male detected Depart from here and return to worshipping your false idols

[@relaxation-Corner]

@@steviewondek 'experts' also once practiced blood letting and touted smoking as healthy. We measure medical success by statistics of how it saves lives bu how come Trans people have the highest suicide rates after transition? And is it surgery and hormones the only option for them to lead a good life compared to say, intensive therapy etc

[@TempestKrimps]

1:29 as soon as he says "period" a period appears at the end of the word "bleed". absolutely brilliant

[@joymahiko]

#15. You shop for 7 hours at the mall, and return everything the next day.

[@LaceandArmour]

Good one! Or shop for 7 hours and bring nothing home!

[@williamkoppos7039]

Good one.

[@andrearace1168]

​@@LaceandArmourYou beat me to the punch! That's literally me 😹

[@LaceandArmour]

@@andrearace1168 - Always happens to me, never can find what I want and I’m never satisfied! 🤣👍

[@ninjaunderdog7758]

I gave birth to 5 children and breastfed 4 of them. So yes, I am a woman 🤗♥️

[@dianna-ms.d.cluttering]

That poor 5th child had to survive on fake baby formula?

[@onepunchman6165]

@@dianna-ms.d.cluttering Probably. Or she has a sister and they are a joint family

[@felipegoles7619]

Nowadays, people say "people who get pregnant" or "people who breastfeed".. Man, some people are truly ignorant.

[@Rogue_Sniper]

​@@felipegoles7619What?

[@snowecaddel9454]

moms are the best women 💖

[@dougsholly9323]

I love how the whole list is basically stereotypes, sneaks in the 'period' and then drops the '2 X chromosomes' bomb. The Bee is just fantastic!

[@Zealwind]

And birthing

[@johnvanegmond1812]

Jokes involving menstruation are not ever funny! Period!

[@surfersilver6610]

​@@johnvanegmond1812 Says the man/person/them/they/you while making a pun. #periodichypocrite

[@OffGridInvestor]

Stereotypes are still true

[@Le_Sourpuss]

hmm stereotypes? You mean facts? I understand hard facts are a "stereotype" to liberals though so if that's the case... :D

[@amjesla]

Oh, and this one: 8-9 out of 10 times, you can't open a newly bought jar or bottle!

[@gypsyrosesoap3021]

This made me laugh! I am so sick of people not wanting to define a woman. I am also equally disgusted with the "gender appropriation" that is currently goin on!

[@Patrick-zn1pc]

"Gender appropriation". Dude, you are going to trigger so many people saying that. It's like, their heads might explode or something.

[@sarahrobertson634]

Men are not allowed to appropriate my gender.

[@gypsyrosesoap3021]

@@Patrick-zn1pc The truth hurts!

[@Dawn737]

I appreciate you calling it out. How come the left is so concerned about every type of appropriation except gender appropriation?

[@pepesfangirl9594]

They are phasing women out and it's time we got loud about this. Targeting our female children is top of list for us to be angry about.

[@auniversalwoman]

Thank you for helping Supreme Court justices who have a hard time with biology. This was excellent.

[@robertthomas5906]

I couldn't believe that. It was like watching children on a primary grade school playground. "Oh yea, do you even know what a woman is?" Then the kid says - "Nah nah, she's so stupid she doesn't even know what a woman is." Joke's on us, they confirmed her.

[@sharjo52]

Maybe this man needs to be a judge,he can answer the most important question!

[@jaysky2000]

@@robertthomas5906 When I watched the hearings and heard her answer I thought that would be the end of her. Sadly, I was mistaken.

[@george40nelson4]

You don't have to be a biology major these days to know what a woman is. A woman is a creature that wants to be able to kill her own child while a man is a creature that just wants to be able to have sex with it. See , that was easy !

[@tonygreif4931]

I'm no biologist but I think a woman could have two or three X's, a Y or two, maybe even a Z. Who knows?!

[@DRibic]

This guy deserves honorary doctorate in women studies

[@miker252]

He can get that without having a huge student loan?

[@ronaldfharring7326]

Forget honorary. He deserves a real doctorate in gender studies.

[@Ehtbhtbrjjd]

tbh when a lot of people are wrong about basic biology and simple concepts such as gender I just laugh it off and move on, but I honestly have a lot of respect for the speaker for admitting to not being a biologist, I mean, sure, we could all already tell based on the video, but I really liked that detail despite it likely being unintentional

[@reinisdravnieks]

😂😂😂 love it

[@TheRealJellyBomb]

It's called a "shameful doctorate" in women's studies, and they each get one, just for participating.

[@ServeGod1st]

❤❤❤❤ LOVED THIS !

[@lordofnothing255]

It turns out my wife happens to be a woman. I’m not gay so it is a big relief. Thanks for the help.

[@warpspeed8305]

What if you are a woman?

[@charlieruisseau2476]

What do you mean? It's wonderful to be gay! (... appart from the butt sex thing.)

[@Mary-fn5rl]

If a man isnotsure what he is we need more Loreno bobbitsthat will remind him

[@ichoppabroccoli3670]

I'm completely sure my wife is a woman now! She has like 10 pillows, is picky about what she eats, is cold from September to May and has a curb mark on her fender right now. I was already pretty sure she was a woman because I learned a long time ago how it all works watching Kindergarten Cop.

[@malbowz1257]

"Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina."

[@singingstars5006]

Lol 😂

[@turkeybaby98]

I finally figured out I was a woman when I gave birth to 5 children. What is even more amazing is that all of them have xx chromosomes so we now know they are female too. It's a relief to know that I'm not a man. Unfortunately for my husband, he has to deal with 6 women in the house.

[@i.g.l.z.9215]

Or perhaps not so unfortunately ☺Though surely demanding for for of you sometimes 😆- just a guess, myself having grown up with 3 other women in the family. Very fond memories, pretty wild sometimes 🤩

[@jeremyboynowski3784]

Maybe get him a male dog so that at least there is SOME form of brotherhood for your hubby 🤣🤣

[@jammin3858]

All at ONCE?! What an epiphany that must have been.

[@splatten8597]

😂😂😂😂

[@JesusRodriguez-zy3wj]

If anything like me, daughters are a superb blessing.

[@basementhobgoblin]

You have made several good points sir!

[@amygodward4472]

I can confirm. I am due to push a human out of me in a few months. I've stopped driving because my spacial awareness has gone out of the window, and when my devoted man companion asked me the other day if I was ok I said yes, meant it, and thirty seconds later burst into tears for absolutely no reason and then laughed at myself because of how silly i was being. Looked up afterwards to see husband's horrified expression. He's the best.

[@pepesfangirl9594]

Good luck with a safe push of a human and excellent awareness of how the spatial ability is worsened by hormones of pregnancy. Congratulations mama

[@turdfurgeson517]

You made me 😂

[@oplars6487]

Devoted man companion lmao

[@PlanetWomble]

Course

[@FarmsVilla]

Tell your husband he is not the only one with a special wife. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MSSoftwareGuru]

I laughed so hard that my gum fell out of my mouth, because I hit a curb at Chili's today after deciding I would rather have us eat at Cheddar's

[@michelemarino3579]

I hit curbs way more than I care to admit. When I do it I'm stupid but when my son does it it was for a legit reason (or so he says).

[@jasmith1867]

If that gum landed in your lap and you grabbed it and put it back in you mouth and then got out and picked up your hubcap and put it back on in the middle of rush hour traffic and then went to Sonic? You're probably a real man.

[@roseh3085]

😂😂😂

[@gallinoreansaber6181]

Cheddar's is pretty legit

[@jasmith1867]

You think your day was bad? My dog stepped on a bee.

[@derekthehalfabee7942]

You might be a woman if you give backstories when giving directions. "Then you turn left at the house with the cute porch, the one that Rick, Tammy's cousin's ex boyfriend who wanted to be a musician but wasn't very good even though Tammy was really supportive and we even went to see him at a bar that one time, and the floor was really sticky, anyway, Rick once delivered an Amazon package to.... honey you missed the turn."

[@popjaw1andOnly]

Nice. And you're definitely a woman if you *ask* for directions!

[@carlrood4457]

My wife will tell me about something she saw on the side of the road and will literally begin the story at least a mile before the thing she wanted to tell me about.

[@mh1290]

That’s my pap!!!

[@KipdoesStuff]

Read an article once where they said women give better directions than men because women use landmarks and mean are so stupid, these say street names and addresses. No women has ever given me directions that made any sense.

[@rodneyspider9452]

Mans directions Drive 250 miles turn right at the house with the red roof (All true) Funny thing was I got there no problem 😂

[@TrangNguyen-vc3yk]

This is gold. Enjoy it every time.

[@jackbakken4536]

"You might be a woman bro", I just absolutely love that

[@mkosmala1309]

You can send three successive men to find something in the fridge, watch them all fail to find it, and then walk over and magically materialize it in the front of the fridge where no one could possible have missed it and it WASN'T THERE until YOU SHOWED UP! If this happens regularly, you're probably a woman.

[@Bigfoottehchipmunk]

Or any other item in any room of the house, for that matter. LOL

[@peggygilmour8905]

On the other hand, when you call a repairman to fix something, it fixes itself when he is there in front of it.

[@mytreasuredcreations]

Woman power!!! 💪

[@LilyGrace1990]

Well crap, maybe I am a man after all! I'm always on the opposite end of that scenario!

[@ksfarmmom]

You’re a woman if you can actually look behind things and lift things up to look under them😂

[@memelissa2]

Even though I don't have a lot of the stereotypical female traits, except those pesky biological ones, I still know I'm a woman. Amazing, isn't it!

[@Mr._Anderpson]

Amazing that a person could work overtime to fool themselves these days? Not really. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Bub.

[@wuffos]

I think you meant "except", not "expect" ?

[@mariaijebd1637]

@@wuffos probably just a typo

[@memelissa2]

@@wuffos LOL.. yep! I'll fix that. Thanks :)

[@pramodabandaru3566]

Same here:)

[@Volunteerballoons]

I approve this video… right on! And proud too!

[@davidhowling5889]

If you have the irrepressible urge to talk about non-sports subjects whilst watching sports; you might be a woman!

[@robbarnes9047]

God, yes!

[@muxion]

or to discuss how people have treated you in the middle of a compelling show/movie

[@jonesjermaine4387]

Agreed, I've been reading Tropic of Cancer except I like to pretend the character Van Norden is like a Bailey Jay, mite write my own book think I'll call it "Beyond the Valley of Penises"

[@chanilerner6410]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@TOEC]

#10 is so true sometimes. When she says "I'm fine", it could mean anything from "I'm fine" to "I'm quietly plotting your demise"

[@chuckintexas]

Broad - but CLEAR - spectrum there 👍!

[@lauracorriss9538]

No. If a woman says she's "fine", she's pissed as hell. And most likely, with very good reasons to be so.

[@marc5279]

everything is about body language. Even the door you just closed that for whatever reason happenned to make more noise that it usually does, will get her to say "hey what's up?", or will become angry at you because she'll think you're angry at her

[@notsureyou]

Usually when a woman says that she's "fine" It means...... YOUR F%$#*D.......

[@O.O.O.K999]

It can also mean "You've made it clear you get pissed off and don't want to know when I'm upset about something"

[@TransConservativewaifu]

some people are now calling women 'bleeders" now. wow, we went from 'respect women" to 'what is a woman?" so quickly

[@eristicfreethinker2098]

Just what feminists have worked for for 60 years. Yea!

[@baggiemaggie3832]

That is insanely dehumanizing...and yet they say they advocate for the rights of women..

[@knowyourlove5613]

I had a hysterectomy 17 years ago. So I am no longer a bleeder, nor can I birth anything, thus not a birthing person. don’t complain. I don’t fit the criteria for anything anymore. 😉

[@carlrood4457]

It's a case of trying to reconcile two conflicting ideologies while claiming to be on the same side.

[@matthewmorrisdon5491]

Men bleed too. It is called shaving.😂

[@peggybruening4415]

Love you, Babylon bee!

[@villainrack]

Living for the Matt Walsh shout out. He was actually the one who diagnosed me as a woman

[@margaritakleinman5701]

"Diagnosed" lol!!

[@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986]

@@margaritakleinman5701 it is an unfortunate untreatable condition that affects about half of the population

[@spocksvulcanbrain]

What?!? Your doctor wasn't able to do so?

[@margaritakleinman5701]

@@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986 That's a matter of opinion, I think it's the other half.

[@ShadeofGaz]

Actually started coughing laughing reading this

[@lb1203]

I'm now even more confused! I birthed a child and I say "I'm fine" when I'm not. But I've never been in a car accident and my "male life partner" has more than once. Does this mean I'm married to someone who is half a woman? Am I only half a woman?!!! I wish I was a biologist so I could know for sure!!!

[@WritingfromAnywhere]

I love this. And I am a woman. Who does not use throw pillows, or MLM, or white paint, but I still love this.

[@breezybest6064]

Spot on! I'm definitely a woman since 7 human beings have popped out of me. Thanks for this timely reality check!

[@merbearlorelei]

Good on you, I couldn't imagine having to manage all those little ones!

[@wolfsden]

Dear God! LOL. God bless you for all your labors.

[@rebekahmontesdeoca565]

They may not have exactly "popped" though 😂

[@cindybailey465]

Was "spot" on a pun? 🤣 I'm definitely one because I had five little humans pop out of me!!! ❤️

[@sacrafyce7969]

SEVEN?!

[@robtinkham1663]

You covered it in less than 5 mins. Can you believe some people have whole college majors on the subject and still can't figure it out?

[@wingsclippedwolf]

They should have majored in biology.

[@raymundhofmann7661]

You are mistaken, these majors are not for people who want to figure it out but to obfuscate and deny it because they have a problem being a woman, usually a repelling one. Mostly obviously physically repelling but sometimes only mentally. This major also educates and authorizes them to denigrate the not so repelling women.

[@rizkyadiyanto7922]

@@wingsclippedwolf and still wrong.

[@noblekitten336]

I figured it out through normal people like family members who didn't subject themselves to surgery over a hunch that they were born in the wrong body.

[@machinemaker2248]

Covered in 3 words: adult human female.

[@williamfriar6295]

Remember to carefully consider voting for the party that assures us men can get pregnant. We need people like that in charge of critical decisions that impact every corner of our lives.

[@machinemaker2248]

Which might lead to the question: why does a government restricted by a constitution impact every corner of our lives?

[@williamfriar6295]

Because power-hungry politicians, in both parties, go to exquisite pains to circumvent the constitution. The daily question on the government official’s mind is, “How can we get around that annoying Bill of Rights?”

[@karenrenfro6961]

@@williamfriar6295 They can't get around the Laws of God & Nature or the Self-Evident Truths, though.

[@catherinehenry6762]

Right you are!

[@InfoNathan]

How do I ironically like this comment?

[@southrnlvingsc]

He's channeling Thomas Hayden Church in Wings and Sideways. Love it.

[@klfanderson2491]

Okay... I admit it... I'm a chronologically-challenged human being with two X-chromosomes who has never watched the B-Bee before. Then, tonight, I stumbled onto an old interview you had with John Stossel. Intrigued, I looked up your videos, found this gem, and honestly? I think I'm hooked already!

[@rodneyjaynes2485]

Welcome to the Clan!!

[@staceypost7282]

You forgot, "If you know that cleaning a bathroom requires more than just hot water, you're probably a woman."

[@naomijo8736]

Well that just made me question the identity of my four daughters! 😄

[@zyxxhig]

wait..what do you mean?

[@davidrhodes6016]

If you never clean under the toilet seat you are most definitely a woman

[@pgpizzaboy]

what do you mean cleaning the bathroom requires more than just spraying a hose?

[@nighlektolmn5390]

whoa whoa whoa now, you use hot water..you like to breath in your piss and shit fumes. That's sick.

[@TheHealthyAmericanPeggyHall]

BRILLIANT -- and Yes, I am a woman!

[@michelekelpin7424]

Yay Peggy's here! 😃

[@theeasternfront6436]

How many years have you been a biologist ?

[@guidedmeditation2396]

Guess it takes one to know one. :O)

[@sage1d590]

Another simple test: real women believe in, and demand, ABSOLUTE equality…..but still insist that putting bins out, picking up her dogs sh1t, mowing lawn, doing the diy, changing tyres and oil, cleaning anything smelly/rotten, amongst many other tasks, are men’s jobs!!!

[@craigmooring2091]

#14 You are probably a woman if you think saying "Are you hungry?" is a straightforward expression of your own desire to eat soon. Corollary to #14: When asked what sort of restaurant you want to go to (or what sort of food you want to order in), you might be a woman if you answer I don't care; YOU pick and then proceed to veto the next 12 suggestions. #15 You're most likely a woman if you answer a yes-or-no question with "All right." #16 You might be a woman if you have an innate Inability to recognize that there is more than one acceptable position in which to leave the toilet seat. Nobody ever heard the complaint "Dammit, honey you left the seat wrong again, and I almost peed on it!", because men know the hinge works both ways for BOTH sexes. #17 You could be female if you think having to buy new shoes (or any sort of apparel) is a fun opportunity, rather than an annoying necessity.

[@earnestbolton5022]

love #16

[@trucid2]

If she says she wants you to pick where to eat and then vetoes the choices, don't let her. It's a shit test. Hold her to her word.

[@WillCamx]

Re Shoe shopping. You might be a woman if you visit five shoe shops, spend over two hours and then end up back in the first shop and buy the first or second pair you tried.

[@DUMBDUDEGAMER]

This very accurately describes me... and I'm a male. But I guess I am trans too so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@SirLurkington]

#17 hurts my soul. I hate shopping for clothes and shoes. Mind you, I wear large clothes so nothing I want ever fits, and my shoes are stupid. Try 6E on for width. And my feet aren’t even freakish!

[@jamesbooth3360]

A big difference: She goes into a cleaning-frenzy panic attack because her mother is visiting. His Mom visits, and he is guilt free, but inconvenienced that he can't find anything after she cleans everything.

[@hossg.7217]

Oh isn't that the truth. Happens every time my wife does one of her "cleanings". I knew where everything was when it was scattered, now you put it where it belongs and I can't find anything! LOL.

[@draufganger620]

True

[@Joe-sm9qj]

Throwing everything in random drawers is not cleaning

[@nobuddy2012]

Or, you spend all day cleaning, because the cleaning lady is coming tomorrow.

[@todorkolev7565]

"Guilt Free"? More like: "Sorry the house is such a mess, we haven't had time to clean (spent the last week scrubbing the underside of the coffee table)"

[@danielbowden2401]

Best advice my dad told me when I was getting married; Son, for the rest of your life you will have two choices, you can be RIGHT, or you can be HAPPY. You almost never get both.

[@Kingeptacon]

My dad told me the same thing before I got married but was much less articulate. He basically said, “bitches be crazy.” I said, “I know, dad. This is my third marriage.”

[@ag7620]

Yep! My favorite...reads the menu from top left corner to bottom right corner, then orders the same thing as always.

[@draighodge6039]

My wife and Grandma, who shared our home, were both incessantly cold and subsequently turned up the furnace again and again. Eventually, I was sweating and removing clothes until we discovered their choices included wearing more clothes or accepting my nudity whenever I was in the house. Apparently, no one wanted to look at me without clothes, talk about body image insecurities.

[@lizh4933]

Wait till they hit menopause. Then we need to sleep in a meat locker, naked with just one thin sheet on top. Once old age sets in it's back to whining about the cold.

[@michaelsorensen7567]

I've always said you can put more on but there's only so much to take off.

[@gscurd75]

That is my house. Me shirtless and in shorts while my girlfriend is has on pants, a long sleeve shirt and is under a blanket. If I really need to cool off I just have her put her ice cold hands on my back.

[@dianedow5056]

The bad news is that women don't like to look at naked men. That's so annoying.

[@michaelsorensen7567]

@@dianedow5056 comments on any love and thunder trailer would disagree

[@BillSchimmer]

I am a man, white, Christian, home owner, fully employed, have off-spring, conservative, heterosexual. So I can't answer.

[@KipdoesStuff]

Shut up you mouth,

[@kpd3308]

And if you did answer it would be wrong.

[@machinemaker2248]

We can't even have an opinion. Not just neutered balls, but neutered mind, too!

[@dallinbeck1683]

"You might be a woman, bro."

[@southernmocha7571]

But are you good at maths ? 🤔

[@TNT9182-j1e]

Thank you for breaking this down in a way for someone without a PhD in biology to understand. Could never understand the concept before.

[@12vscience]

Someone had to bro science it for the masses.

[@1940limited]

That's OK. Natanji Jackson doens't understand it, either.

[@erikbudrow1255]

This guy was truly the chadest of bros, brosef.

[@lemming573]

Oh thank God, I was really worried I was a woman. Your helpful checklist really helped me out.

[@CoolCaliforniaMom]

I am a WOMAN & I am laughing HYSTERICALLY! and I have 6 SISTERS! That was a lot of Women growing up- with my Mom 8 Total Woman!!! My Dad was the Ultimate Survivor!!!

[@georgeharvey3062]

Cudos to your father. He must be a very patient man. We have 7 daughters and 2 sons. Without the boys I know I’d have lost my sanity.

[@ryan-heath]

@@georgeharvey3062 I’m out numbered in my family but I love my girls, the small ones and the big one. Hmm that didn’t come out as I wanted … 😅

[@bobbimurray7664]

Sitting wrapped in blanket as listening to this, and just this morning my husband was ONCE AGAIN, tossing my pillows around while saying they SERVE NO PURPOSE. 🙄 You nailed this!

[@IAmLeePeace]

😂

[@sonclearbrahman-ar1461]

The pillows do serve a purpose... driving men round the bend through their purposelessness!

[@hdcordes6299]

Just wait till he addresses the towels hanging in the bathroom that no one is allowed to actually use!!

[@tinmaddog7]

They are for sitting up in bed to read, tell them...lol

[@kms7012]

When you end an argument with “oh, forget about it”…. The argument is not over and you will not be “forgetting” about it.

[@winstonhewett6679]

Gallagher's line on this was fantastic! "I have sometimes wondered if I have a woman's sprit trapped in my body & I don't know it because she's a lesbian! Kind of puts everything into perspective!