Are You the A**hole 2 - SimplyPodLogical

On this episode of SimplyPodLogical, Cristine and Ben read podcast audience submitted “Am I The A**hole” posts and offer their opinions.
0:00 - Hey what’s up holo everyone
0:35 - Cristine is a pro-gamer
1:53 - Are you the a**hole?
4:38 - Are you the a**hole for not letting your boyfriend snack while you’re making dinner?
10:22 - Are you the a**hole for not wanting your boyfriend to work at night in the living room?
17:15 - Are you the a**hole for expecting your roommates to clean up after themselves?
24:57 - Are you the a**hole for dating your ex-boyfriend’s dad?
29:16 - Are you the a**hole for tipping less than 20%?
35:25 - Are you the a**hole for lying to your dad about your mom giving you money?
42:43 - Are you the a**hole for keeping cardboard boxes for your cat?
46:20 - Are you the a**hole for not wanting your friends to be more successful than you?
52:19 - Are you the a**hole for wanting your boyfriend to stop being friends with someone?
57:06 - Cristine has nightmares
Form to anonymously submit Are YOU the A**hole situations to SimplyPodLogical (incase we do this again!): forms.gle/QMSiDYLsWvz5y1fc6
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[@simplypodlogical]

Spoiler: None of you are assholes you are all the absolute best, thank you for submitting😜 - Cristine

[@erkinesengeldiev3839]

so ben think of us as assholes anyways….

[@ayaattal2046]

Omg I'm crying they read my submission. I'm the Syrian girl that learned English through watching Cristine's videos and I'm improving my English by listening to their podcasts. I'm so happy and I love you guys so much. 💓

[@eoz27]

Good job with learning English!! You’re awesooome

[@chelseagomez2455]

❤️

[@huyentran20242]

So do I 🥰🥰

[@spider_leooo]

omg congratulations!!!

[@RaeneTheFaerie]

I'm so happy for you! Your English seems very natural so keep up the good work! d(Ow O

[@Nicollemily]

My husband had a female friend who didn’t want to meet me. She worked with him and he would go to coffee with her, help her move, build furniture, hang out with her kids etc. he told me I was being jealous and crazy for being uncomfortable with her. Turns out they were having an affair for 4 years when I finally found evidence. Trust your gut!

[@rchltrrs]

Yeah, that's the only reason i can think of for not wanting to meet your friend's SO. If it's all platonic I can't understand flat out refusing to meet your friend's partner.

[@SomeBody-ce3gq]

I hope he's your ex husband now, girl 😩 you didn't deserve that, that's horrible 😩

[@PotatoRed148]

I mean, normal friends don't do all of that, especially if they are of the opposite sex.

[@sweetpea9191]

Yeah.. the issue here is that the friend doesn’t want to meet the girlfriend? But why.. what’s a good reason why that shouldn’t happen? If nothing weird or suspicious was going on then why not meet each other? You don’t have to be friends but at least meet. Say hi, be friendly. The friend is super suspicious and so is the boyfriend. I don’t think the girlfriend is overreacting at all.

[@yumiinky]

@@sweetpea9191 yeah same! I feel like it's just common courtesy to at least introduce yourselves to each other. I can't imagine not wanting to meet my friend's partner(whether the goal is to become friends with them or just know OF them a little bit)

[@TaviaShadowstar11]

That last dude for SURE has 2 girlfriends. He’s feeding them both the same lie. He’s the one that doesn’t want them to meet.

[@Snazzy_L]

Roommate scenario. Buy yourself a pot, pan, plate, bowl, cup. Use them, clean them and keep them in your room. Doesn't solve the garbage, but at least you aren't hunting around for clean things and acting like the maid for others.

[@seofra8252]

Label them and make sure they have a different pattern or color than the other dishes. That way people are less likely to swipe them from your room

[@dianaandreia]

I did the exact same. There was someone from another room that washed their dishes for some time until she got annoyed. I mean, we were 8 and if half doesn't wash it piles up.

[@matchybea7994]

and if you have your own food cupboard you can keep them in there too if you don’t want to label them! I had those “paint your own crockery” ones so it felt less agro about labelling too!

[@kaitlynh6089]

I also have had to remove all my own dishes because my housemates either broke things and didn’t tell me or would never clean them. So everything is cleaned, packed up and I used only 2 sets and always ensure my things are clean and put away. It’s not what a home is meant to be, but it’s the way I’ve had to survive until I can get out of the situation. I really feel for that poster.

[@vykepp5709]

I just moved out for the first time, I have all my cooking stuff in my area, even got a mini fridge/freezer, and microwave, so people can't take my stuff and I don't have to go upstairs if I want to heat something up late and not disturb others. If I cook upstairs, I clean right away and bring my stuff downstairs.

[@girlwithalaptop5690]

Justice for the last girl!! No way the boyfriends friend isn’t trying to get with the boyfriend. There is no reason for her to outright refuse to meet her. Poster has a point and should confront the boyfriend

[@in_99]

Maybe the friend doesn’t want to meet her because the boyfriend has told her that the girlfriend already hates her and is jealous or mad or something. Idk what to think, I’m just playing devils advocate lol

[@myerklamb8529]

Honestly Ben is pretty clueless (and sometimes maybe a little sexist) when it comes to women in these aita scenarios. He tends to give men a pass for their actions and be harder on the ladies imo. And yes, the poster should be very concerned if her boyfriend has a close female friend that has no desire to meet her

[@BubbleBunnyy]

Glad I’m not the only one who disagree worth them

[@rachelshaferly5524]

The gift is totally suss. I believe the friend of boyfriend is totally trying to get with boyfriend it definitely sounds like the friend is trying to tell the boyfriend "everything your girlfriend does I can do better"

[@BubbleBunnyy]

@@rachelshaferly5524 or he is dating both of them at the same time

[@tchaugn]

I think it's verrryyy weird the boyfriend's good friend doesn't want to meet his girlfriend, and he doesn't have any interest getting them in the same room. And she got him the same gift after GF got him one, etc. It's weird.

[@cmsbcarneill2591]

I agree it was very strange, however if she is concerned, she should focus on discussing her relationship with boyfriend and her feelings of trust. Maybe he is the one who doesn't want them to meet....

[@kiarimarie]

I also have to wonder if "R" is one of those girls who "hates other girls" types.

[@boobooismine1]

@@kiarimarie Ah yes, a “pick me”.

[@kiarimarie]

@Stine Agerskov Oh I totally agree. She shouldn't be that person. She is perfectly in her right telling the boyfriend how the situation makes her feel, but the convo shouldn't conclude with "therefore you need to stop being friends with her".

[@tchaugn]

@Stine Agerskov She shouldn't, but I also think she has the right to leave bc of it! I agree don't tell them what to do. They can live their life on their own terms, I'm/she's going to live our own on our own terms.

[@Zurflu]

Regarding the female friend who doesn't want to meet the girlfriend... more than likely the boyfriend made that up and he's the one who doesn't want them to meet. They might even both see themselves as his gf and the other woman as the "female friend".

[@elenpena42564]

Yeah that was literally my first guess, the other girl probably doesn't even know the gf exists

[@Zurflu]

@@elenpena42564 they really glossed over the part where the boyfriend was acting kinda sus about it 😬

[@IkeMike8]

This is exactly what I was thinking! I’ve been through this situation. It’s weird that a best friend male or female of your SO wouldn’t want to meet you. No need to say who they can or cannot be friends with but friends not interested in meeting their friend’s SO is sus first off and weird that your SO is “fine” with you not meeting them either.

[@struckanerve88]

right like either he's lying about the other girl just being a friend (which seems most likely to me) or he sees her as one of the guys but she WANTS to be his girlfriend and that's why she doesn't want to meet the other girl b/c she doesn't like that he's got a girl friend? That's the only reason I could understand why his female friend would be buying the same shirt in a different color for the boyfriend after his girl friend already bought him one.

[@Zurflu]

@Nope rightt like I wonder how many people heard the story and were like oh I’ve heard this one before 🙋‍♀️

[@whitneyellison]

I’m sorry, but I disagree with you guys on the last one. If my husband had a woman friend who explicitly stated that they didn’t want to meet me, I would find that sketch as hell.

[@amethystfeathers7324]

Yes, because it's a major red flag. Pretty obvious what's happening there.

[@Ariplaygames]

Yep. Already a couple of commenters (including myself) who pointed out that they were in a situation like this and the bf was cheating.

[@chayafaith710]

Yep!!! I also think the guy should be questioning why his friend doesn't want to meet someone who has such great importance in his life...wouldn't someone who's friends with you want to meet your girlfriend...yall don't have to be besties and hang out but I find that super disrespectful towards not only the girlfriend but even of the boyfriend. Definitely not healthy.

[@myerklamb8529]

Ben can be somewhat misogynistic and sexist when reading some of these aita scenarios. Men seem to often get passes while women are viewed as crazy or manipulative. And yes, it is very sketchy if a close female friend of your boyfriend has no desire to meet you

[@TheVecInd]

@@myerklamb8529 gonna need that sources cited page there champ

[@uribove]

Tipping culture is highly problematic tho... Here in belgium people AT MOST tip by rounding it off to the next euro, because our waiters and waitresses get paid an actual wage XD

[@paulamartinez3314]

Yea, like im not tipping to the workers in a store or to any other type of employee i encounter because i asume they are getting payed fairly. In spain tipping is lose change nothing more.

[@michellewhitlock2453]

@@paulamartinez3314 I wish the majority or America was like Spain or Belgium. I get “appreciation for good service” but how is it my primary responsibility that someone’s WILLINGLY WORKING THERE getting paid 1-3$ an hour then plus tips from customers??? I didn’t make them work there so how is it I get bashed for not ‘tipping properly’

[@rchltrrs]

That's why tip is often automatically included in touristy areas here in the states. It's very confusing for a lot visitors. I honestly think it's ridiculous that the customers are directly paying part of the waiters salaries. I would rather pay more for my meal, have the staff paid a decent wage and just avoid tipping all together

[@silviaponce3848]

This is super interesting to me. I'm from Mexico and here tipping is expected EVERYWHERE but only around 10 - 15% tops at a restaurant. Giving 20% at a restaurant is, like, a SUPER GOOD TIP. However, with delivery I only tip around $10- $20 pesos, regardless of how much I spent on food. If it's pickup, then I will tip the normal 10-15% but I do know so people won't tip because they weren't really offered a waiting service, like, asking if you we're OK, if you wanted anything else to drink or eat, etc. Now, I must say that waiting staff here in Mexico see tips as part of their wages, like, it's a pretty good percentage of their earnings. However I did live in Australia for four years and, yeah, like Ben said, it's uncommon to tip. Same thing happened when I lived in London. So... I don't know. I am a chef and have a food delivery service from home and am always happy if people tip me, but never expect it because I do not own a restaurant and... probably because I have travelled and honestly don't agree with tipping if they didn't earn it. I don't know if waitressing wages have become fairer since 2014 but they weren't when I was in Australia (Gold Coast) nor in London (2017). Is is a cultural thing, a first/third world country thing, a personal choice? Meh, but I also agree with Ben. I would prefer to tip ONLY when I considered the food or service was outstanding and the business or people deserved more money because they exceeded my expectations.

[@LilDinoGuy]

I don't get why people have a big issue with tipping culture, as someone who worked as a waitress. For one, waiters and waitresses are guaranteed to be compensated up to minimum wage if their tips don't get them there, and some nights, depending on the restaurant (and your customer service and the area- I concede that once I moved to a big city, I made less than in the suburbs), you can make a hundred- or even several hundred in tips. I found that waiting tables made me a good amount of money, definitely more than if I was working a non-tipped job of the same caliber. Obviously, though, it's different for everyone.

[@Marie-id9do]

For the gf/friend one.. Since the boyfriends "female friend" went out and bought the exact same item as the gf, came over privately/separately after the group gift his friend group already gave him AND refuses to meet OP.. it makes it sketchy. I suppose I still wouldn't try to forbid the friendship, I think I'd try to voice my concerns to my partner and let it be on him to correct it.. or I'd end the relationship if I wasn't happy with the result??

[@rchltrrs]

Yeah, completely agree! This would bother me too. Why would you be against meeting a close friend's SO? I can't think of a good reason. The gift alone probably wouldn't bother me but in conjunction with not wanting to meet me, it would seem sketchy. I also agree that forbidding the friendship is overkill but I would def want to talk to my SO about my concerns and I would expect a meaningful response to my concerns. Aslo, is OP not ever invited when bf goes out with his friends or does this beastie just not show up if the gf is hanging out? 🤔🤔🤔

[@esmeraldagreengate4354]

@@rchltrrs yeah that's not a friend that's a partner in waiting.

[@amila_]

I think i would establish MY boundary. I know it would eat at me so I would remove myself from the situation. I really dont care if that crazy or extreme. I’d rather be crazy than played 🙂

[@ryanfire4176]

i think he’s lying and having an affair

[@jasmine-ruff-puff9951]

If I wanted to meet my partner's friend and they said "they're not interested in meeting you" I'd think that's weird. I wonder if the friend actually said that, or is it something he's just saying to avoid having them meet? Either way it's weird.

[@commanderwaddles3483]

To closet office girl & pacing bf, I've learned this the hard way, but when you have a self-managed job, it is key to draw boundaries of what YOUR time means to the world. Have a set time for responding to email or sending em out, have a set time where you unplug from work stuff for the day, you can even have scheduled time to spend with your girl. Just like you don't owe her all your time, you don't owe your job or your extracurriculars all your time either. Planning & scheduling is your friend. Having that on a shared calendar where you both can be aware of plans & boundaries would be even simpler!!

[@thenopedetective]

It sounds like he works at a virtual call center (maybe some kind of international sales position) on shift work, so not a work boundaries time issue but a home office environment work issue. (Though it's a bit unclear and maybe I missed where it said it was self managed?) Being in a tiny room while doing a thankless job is a tough combo. A mix of him using the closet during the last couple hours and her using earphones might help. If it is self managed (unless it is an international position and there's much more money to be made) it's nuts to invade the living area with work like that. The living area should be peaceful before bed! He could even use the bedroom while she's in the living area then move to the living area when she goes to bed, so that might help.

[@VivianArthurs]

For the dirty roommates one: i did this thing where i didnt clean anything except what i wanted to use and then left it dirty, stopped taking out garbage etc. Basically keeping the same energy and then I saw how everyone started to smell the maggots in the trash and freak out. Then i locked my room and pretended to not be home for a week. It required a lot of sneakiness and planning but people got clean real quick Edit: omg I've never gotten this much likes 😳 mom I'm famous lol

[@lusitanianightshade227]

I tried the same thing, actually had a separate dish tub set aside for the dirty dishes roommates made so the sink could actually be usable... They never cleaned up their act, though, and that dish tub would get full of moldy dishes 😂

[@poonywooon]

I did the same thing, stopped cleaning their shit, started keeping basic pots and dishes in my own room only bringing it out to cook and then putting back in my room after washing up. I even started using small grocery bags for my rubbish so I could take out my own trash daily and leave the group mess to them. But this didn’t motivate them one bit, I don’t think they even noticed 😂

[@PotatoRed148]

Nice move! I don't expect others to clean my shit so shout anyone else.

[@cecethedawg3711]

I don’t understand the “if you want it done then clean it yourself” mentality with dirty roommates. No I shouldn’t have to be your maid or do extra work to have a livable apartment why should I be forced to clean not my mess? I will absolutely play the passive aggressive and petty game to get my roommates to clean

[@brookelouise8765]

My old housemate and I did this with our other housemate at the time who never did any house work. We would only wash our dishes and always leave hers, we let the empty toilet rolls build up until we had a toilet roll mountain (about 20 rolls) and a carpenter who was doing work in our house at the time said he threw them out for us (we were so embarrassed so explained the situation to him and he just laughed), we stopped taking the kitchen rubbish bag outside because we were fed up of her never doing it and when she finally did there were maggots in it (I ended up starting my own trash bag in my bedroom which I would take outside as it got full) and she was horrified, she constantly left her washing on the clothes airer in the shared lounge room space until long after it was dry and I was constantly putting it in a basket and putting it in her room (which would stay there for even longer and I’d then need the basket and couldn’t use it because her clean clothes would still be in it a week later), she never cleaned the bathroom, toilet or kitchen and always left half empty glasses of drinks around the house (the last one I counted was TEN DAYS before she finally got rid of it). I think eventually she understood what we were doing, but also just didn’t really seem to give a fuck too much and moved out not long after. Housemate from hell 👿

[@BekaLei]

Hi, friends! Cristine, those curls are looking LOVELY

[@avr7120]

my family emigrated from russia to germany. often when i had a friend over and they saw that dinner was soon to be served theyd try to leave but to us it was a given that the guest eats with us so my mum would get super confused on why theyd go home hungry and pack them the food in plastic containers to eat on the go lmaoo. similarly when i was at a german friends house and the parent was like "when are you getting picked up? were eating dinner soon. do you want me to call your home??" i used to get so offended (till i was 10 or so) cause i knew they werent so poor that they cant share some food. one time i was at a friends and had to wait for my dad to get off of work to pick me up and THEY MADE ME WAIT IN THE KIDS BEDROOM WHILE THE WHOLE FAMILY ATE DINNER TOGETHER. i just sat there playing with her legos so it wasnt bad but brooo... I swear this wouldve never happened at another foreigners house, it was SO STRANGE.

[@sarahe.1159]

Wow yeah that sounds awful. I kind of feel the mentality shifts though. I am from Germany and I know exactly what you mean but I feel my generation is more welcoming of other people. Maybe also a reason is that Germany puts a lot of attention to their children and most of them are kind of high maintenance resulting in most people disliking other kids than their own or kids in general.

[@sarahe.1159]

Also many kids are on some food restrictions so people don’t wanna mess with that or their parents AND in conservative households eating together as a family is a massive thing. Because the week is getting organized or ups and downs are discussed. So on the one side it was kind of considered rude back in the day to feed another kid and they would not take part in the family dinner at their home and also another person disrupts the intimate family meeting or personal talks

[@juliacary7013]

I lived with dirty ass roommates for over a year and I was actually on the brink of a mental breakdown because of it so I feel for the girl in uni. The relief I felt when I got my own place was immeasurable.

[@kianna270]

i feel you. lived with three roomates for two years and it was great and awful. loved that we were all friends but jesus they were all so messy. using my pans and not cleaning them, so when i woke up early for lab i had to clean to make breakfast, then getting texts at 8am that im being too loud. then dont USE MY PANS??? they would also never take out the damn trash omg. they would literally have another trash bag open with a still full trash container next to it. once i came back from visiting home for a week, and the trash can was so bad. completely full & had hella rotting food and maggots. had to buy a whole new trash can that day. will never forget the gross ass shit that happened living with three girls. i remember i was the only one cleaning the kitchen and living room routinely, and when my roomate was having a fling over she wanted me to help her clean, and i told her i would try, im busy today, and she legit got upset even tho it was my first time seeing her actually clean the kitchen. sigh roommates are such an interesting experience.

[@juliacary7013]

@@kianna270 Yeah my problem was I was never actually friends with any of my roommates and a few of them were actual hoarders so I literally felt like I was living in a world of trash that I couldn't touch because it was their stuff. A whole bunch of other terrible stuff happened there just because of the neighborhood but that experience absolutely wrecked having roommates for me.

[@NinaBobina3]

I went a year without internet just so I could live alone (could afford rent and internet). I've lived with dirty and also manipulative roommates. Never again

[@agni760]

Tipping culture itself is ridiculous. Employers should pay properly

[@Josette274]

It is really interesting and weird to me that you have to do that in America. Technically you don't have to there is no law but at the same people gets really offended that you didn't like it's your duty not the government. I am living in a country with no tips so this thing is something new to me

[@Robin-ladybug]

Many people would not do that job if they made a wage paid by the restaurant. You put up with far too much bullshit. Once you become a server and see what it is like then you should formulate an opinion. People already complain about cost of food, which will skyrocket if the restaurant has to pay each server and then all of the people that the servers tip out at the end of the night.

[@ggottiii]

@@Robin-ladybug right people aren’t understanding we’re making $3-$6 an hour serving people not knowing if we’re gonna make money or not. On top of that (at my restaurant and others) tipping out 3-5% or your SLAES, so if I sold $1000 worth of food and only made $100 I could be tipping out $50 of my money.

[@cryptidsunflower]

As someone who works in the service industry, the minimum tip I give is 20%, but not tipping more than that or tipping 15% does not make someone an asshole. Not tipping at all (in north America at least) absolutely does make you an asshole though. Edit: I love Ben's point about just paying employees livable wages. It all comes down to that, doesn't it Great podcast Ben and Cristine! Sending love!

[@celloafterdark4173]

When my fiancee and I first moved in together about 5 years ago I had a similar situation as the last one- this woman who had helped out my now fiancee with some vet bills- really saved my sweeties cat when he was sick before we had started dating- which was so kind of her. Shortly after we moved into our first place together she reached out wanting to visit the cat and see how he was doing (this was maybe a year after he'd been sick). Not only did she not want to meet me, but she wanted to come over when I wasn't there and visit with our cat. She wanted me to leave my home so she could visit with my partner and their cat at my house. Sorry, but no! 😂

[@LoveCrumb]

I LOVE these AITA episodes, and I would also love to see a podcast episode where Cristine and Ben talk about gaming and discuss Cristine's thoughts and feelings about why it has become more appealing to her. It's something I never would have expected from her, and I love seeing it!

[@tianna1116]

Me too! I don’t think they need a whole episode on it but I’d like to hear what changed her mind

[@seofra8252]

Yes please!!!

[@mygoldenwitch]

Pretty sure it's her discovering more story-driven games. I've generally noticed that people who don't tend to be into gaming much, or at all, can often still be pulled into a classic RPG and the like. Anything that's purely action-based is out, but I even managed to get my mum into the first season of Telltale's TWD, and she loved it. I named her newly-adopted cat 'Clementine' back when the game originally released, and she's gotten a whole new appreciation for the name now she understands the origin, haha.

[@TeresaMarie_]

I never understood why tipping was based on a percentage of the bill. Why isn't it just dollar amounts? (Hypothetical examples: $5 for average basic service, $10 for good service, $20 for outstanding service) Who says the person working at a pricey place to eat is working harder than the server at the mom and pop place? 🤔

[@tchaugn]

wow good point! My mind just connects "more cost = more food/dishes brought out" but you could get 1 $200 bottle of wine lol vs $80 full meal at Olive Garden

[@ashleyapolinar481]

Also depending on the restaurant the servers have to tip out a percentage to the buss boys and bartenders witch can easily add up, but usually its only like a total of 7% of your total tips for the day

[@HinderGirl1221]

I tip $5 minimum. If 20% is $3, I’m still tipping $5. Anything above that, I’ll use 20% as the base. I rarely go less than that, only when the server is legitimately a grade A asshole. I think time is also a factor. The longer I sit, the more I tip.

[@kiarimarie]

I've thought about this also, but also always wondered if being a waiter or waitress at a nicer place is more labor intensive because you are held to a higher standard and expected to do more. I have no idea, personally.

[@jamie7398]

Also you can factor in waitstaff that gets a pay check vs. waitstaff who don't and have rely on tips.

[@CDN_Bookmouse]

Last post, something I think a lot of comments are missing: boyfriend SAYS it's the friend who doesn't want to meet girlfriend. Girlfriend can only take his word for it that friend doesn't want to meet her. I suspect that this unwillingness to meet isn't as straightforward as friend "not being interested." Could be sus, could be some other weird dynamic. I want to hear all three versions of this situation.

[@cristinadaponte5332]

I think the "not being invited to have dinner when over at your friend's house" discussion actually started with Sweden. In Sweden (according to that one famous twitter thread), you're expected to clear out. People from almost every other country commented that things were different in their culture (and dogpiled Sweden, which tbh was kind of hilarious). I can say as a fellow Canadian that in my experience, while you might hope someone might clear out, you'd never actually suggest it, and would always offer to let them stay anyway.

[@Doalizb]

Latino culture- you’ll always be offered drinks, snacks, and food while in someone’s home. It’s considered rude to not at minimum offer a coffee and if person is insisting on leaving before a meal it not uncommon to give them food to take.

[@xime321]

@@Doalizb yeaah, when i heard that bit it was so bizarre, even if someone just picking something up i always invite them in, offer coffee and sweet bread

@@Doalizb yeah. Here in Brazil we offer a several times, several different things, and usually think "she/he dont like me. Or think my house ir dirty" when the answer is always no.

[@fishndchick2228]

Same goes for Netherlands/Belgium, except for a few very small villages where you would be expectrd to join the next meal, you are supposed to leave before dinner. I was grown up with my mom always cooking for 5 when there was Just 3 of us "in case someone Stays for dinner, or it's leftovers for tomorrow". People would hop in sometimes Just to Stay for dinner and tea and then leave, but that was quite far from the norm in the Netherlands.

[@elalonna5126]

Listen! I am Swedish and I’ve certainly heard people claiming this but this has certainly NOT been my experience growing up. But dinner was usually either discussed beforehand between the parents or you would call and ask. BECAUSE both parents work! Almost no exceptions. So if your parents work all day and then come home and make the effort to cook you a nice dinner it seems really disrespectful both of the friends parents and you yourself to fill up to the point where you don’t want eat at home. Also in our culture it kind of implies to the parents that you are not able to feed your own child. Rude! And yeah, you are sort of supposed to go home when dinner is served because it’s expected that it’s family time, time to eat, relax, talk, maybe homework or bathtime after and you should also go home and eat. Still if a child asks or the parents do you do normally get food even if we don’t have the tradition of cooking big meals since we are very careful with how much food we consume at one time.

[@brackencloud]

I got a vibe from the Ex's Dad story, that there was already issues between dad&son, or him knowing what sort of boyfriend his son is/was.

[@inkstainedgirl]

On the doordash one, if its someone doing a task you dont want to do, its a real job. I have trans friends that are discriminated against by office work, and other jobs youd deem a "real job," so they do doordash and grubhub, because they dont care who does delivery, and its not that easy. Finding peoples apartments in massive complexes, rain, heat, snow, it sucks. They also are expected to go up to strangers houses where they dont bother to turn on any lights, and it can be generally scary. It wouldnt be hard for some violent person to get food delivered to an abandoned house, and abduct the person delivering it, using a prepay visa that cant be traced to them.

[@elyon192]

I could never be a food delivery person: a friend’s mom get killed delivering a pizza..scared me for life.

[@bumblebunny1120]

I’ve had friends physically threatened/assaulted doing food delivery jobs. It really changed my perspective

[@isabellairon8420]

Yeah. Think about what crazy assholes will say/do in public retail scenarios. Considering that, what would they be willing to do in their home to someone they don’t consider to have a “real job” 😬

[@darkangel012299]

When it comes to dirty rommates, either you have to decide to be the one that cleans, because the messiness is too much for you to handle living there, you have to get used to the mess, or you have to move. No amount of telling people to clean will make them do it unless THEY want to. Messy roommates never even think about the mess, it's like it's not even there in their mind. Holding out until it gets disgusting is only hurting the clean people who care.

[@SomeBody-ce3gq]

My heart fluttered at the correct use of "their" and "there" 😁

[@TheGinaChan]

I'd say I agree.. except I know that I can be that person, until I decide to clean lol (really hoping my future house mates are the same way :'))

[@MandeePeace]

The 8th story really hit home for me. I am someone with a pretty severe inferiority complex. So whenever I see one of my friends doing what I perceive as doing better than me I feel the need to compare myself and wonder why I'm not doing better than them. HOWEVER I would never tell anyone that I hate that they're successful or happy because I'm not successful. For many reasons including the fact that it's not their problem that I feel this way. It's my own problem and my own complex that I need to work on. So I do think that person is the AH because of my own personal experiences with an inferiority complex.

[@cc1526]

I also have an inferiority complex. I am currently an unemployed stay at home wife and I just feel trapped cause I’ve been out of work for so long and no one is taking a chance on me even though I have a college degree. I feel like I’m starting at ground zero even though I put in four years of work, time, and money and then had to take a few gap years due to health issues. With that being said, I feel like the friend messed up because she talked in “you” statements instead of “I/they” statements. For instance, she could’ve opened up with the friend and said “I feel like I am falling behind. I feel like everyone is moving up in their careers and while I’m very happy for them, it affects me because it makes me feel inferior and like a failure and I don’t know what to do to improve my situation.” As opposed to “I don’t want *you* to take that job *you* earned because it’ll put *you* ahead of me in my own mind and I don’t like *you* making me feel inferior.” She may have said it a little less straight forward than that and with more nuance but that’s basically what the friend heard due to how she approached the discussion. I think if she had opened up about her own struggles without almost blaming her own issues on her friend, the friend would’ve been more receptive. I do think kids nowadays confuse immaturity with toxicity though. Like is your friendship actually toxic or are you both just immature teenagers/young adults with a lot of life left to live and lessons to learn? Doesn’t sound like either party was meaning to come off as rude or unsupportive - they just lack good communication skills and this will just be one of those lessons that hopefully lead them to be better communicators in the future. I know I lost some friends due to immaturity and saying things I shouldn’t have and that’s kinda why they say some friends are for a reason and some friends are for a season. Some friends I kept for life and some taught me a valuable lesson. If the friends I lost and I had met today, maybe we would’ve been great friends, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the hard lessons that losing those friendships taught me. It sucks to lose a friend but as you get older, you start to realize that life is busy and you only really have time to maintain a good close relationship with a handful of friends so it’s okay to let certain friendships go. Some people just have very different personalities or you outgrow each other and it’s not always a bad thing. It’s just life. This was a long comment rant on a 6 month old comment so I’m sorry for that but I just needed to share cause your comment spoke to me. Lol hope you’re doing well!

[@shootingcomet082]

Vulnerable Friend Story: There are some things that its okay to tell your therapist but not your friends.

[@jacqweee]

when cristine said she’s messy but knows where everything is and ben called her “organized messy” I F E L T T H A T

[@catherineliu06]

I was like the person living with a bunch of people in college and unhappy with their level of cleanliness. One night after I got home from studying they ambushed me in the kitchen and told me to list what I wanted...I'd been studying all day, how do I have these things on the top of my head? Years later, my therapist taught me to always ask for some extra time when I've gathered my thoughts. That was helpful

[@missmatch9058]

The last person never said they thought something was going on or that was the reason. I feel like you guys weren't being particularly understanding of this person. Shouldn't a good friend be curious or interested to at least meet your new partner? For me, if I had a good friend and they got a new partner, I would be so interested in meeting them! I think it would be hard not to get bad vibes since the boyfriend says their friend isn't interested in meeting you... And yeah, the gifting thing..... I can understand that feeling weird for the partner. It's an unfortunate coincidence. I don't think I would dictate who my partner should be friends with of course, but I would definitely feel weird about it and get suspicious vibes.....

[@merlt8238]

When i was at Uni we had the same problem with no one cleaning the common areas (bathrooms & kitchens) we had six of us in the house and we created a rota where each common area had to be cleaned once a week to stop things getting too gross. This meant with six of us you only had to clean the bathroom and kitchen once every six weeks. We agreed when it was your turn to clean, it had to be completed by 6pm the Sunday of your week. We had a couple of people who were crap, but it generally worked out ok.

[@BRhymesss]

The thing with the divorced parents situation is, even if the kid does choose for himself that ultimately might still fall on his mom if his dad no longer wants to help out. It is different since he’s an adult. But I know from first hand experience that anytime my mom did well and was able to do more, my dad’s thought was now he can do less/none at all (aka completely stop paying child support knowing my mother is too kind to do anything about it)

[@Hypn0p0mpic]

On the tipping thing: Yes, there is absolutely a correlation between the expectation to tip and the salary. I can only talk about restaurants and not takeouts but waiters here in Belgium (and I would assume in other European countries as well) earn a reasonable amount of money so that they do not depend on generous tips to pay their bills. That being said, we still tip in Europe but it's usually nowhere near 20%. When I was working as a waitress myself during my university years, I would usually end up with tips amounting to around 10 euros because we waiters shared all the tips among us and with the kitchen staff.

[@vickihodges7177]

The point about being invited to eat dinner if at a friend's house was that the person actually WASN'T invited to do so, they were actually told to wait there while the kid went downstairs to eat dinner with their family. So not asked to go home & not invited to eat with them either is completely bizarre by American standards & is incredibly rude.

[@daryatrafimava]

Tipping in Europe is so different! I know it is, but just hearing 20% tip being standard in USA/Canada is WILD. Pretty much no one ever tips this much in Europe. People usually leave some change and up to 10%, if the service was outstanding and it’s a group maybe more, but that’s not common. And I know a bunch of people who hardly ever leave tips although I don’t agree with that. But it’s just different when service workers’ livelihoods don’t depend on tipping.

[@folded_pizza]

Yes it's insane. From my experience everyone tips delivery people, maybe except students who can't afford it. In restaurants however the standard is not tipping. The tip is meant to be an extra thanks for great service, but also it's more common to tip servers at cafes and small taverns, rather than in expensive restaurants because the assumption is that the place is expensive because the wages are fair.

[@RoKer13]

I’ve been in Europe and seen this. It makes sense though bc of how messed up the system is in North America where the living wage is below the average, where then the customer has to tip to make it living wage.

[@daryatrafimava]

I think it really depends on the country but overall tipping 20% in Europe is unheard of

[@crunchyoats1862]

​@@RoKer13 The US allows servers to earn below minimum wage because the expectation is they'll be tipped. In my province servers make minimum wage which is more than $15 and not only do we still tip here, it's expanding too. Now you get asked for a tip when you go to Subway or the corner store.

[@akarikinjo8551]

I was kinda shocked when they said that, I live in Mexico and most people do 10%

[@peacechickification]

I have some advice for the student with roommates! A couple tactics I’ve had that have worked well is having my own personal dishes, so that I have dishes to use even if no one’s done their dishes. Like, a way to individualize things in a shared house can make a word of difference, because then everyone has more leeway to live how they like. For things that can’t be done like that, charge people for labour. Either set a schedule and have a financial penalty for not doing chores, or just outright offer to be the house’s maid for a discount on your rent. Say, be the only one responsible for taking out the garbage, but your roommates each pay you $5/week for the work that you’re doing, that they’re not. And if they don’t want to pay? Then they can do the work. Those are the main 2 solutions I’ve found make cohabitating the best for everyone. Then no one’s nagging, but responsibilities are taken care of in a way that’s best for each individual and their lifestyle.

[@weonlyusepencil]

The eating while cooking thing has never even crossed my mind! My boyfriend and I eat a LOT because he’s a soccer player and I’m a distance runner. One or both of us is usually snacking while dinner is being made, then we still sit down and eat a whole meal together. I don’t see why it’s rude to be hungry 🤷‍♀️ especially if you’re still going to eat the meal.

[@peacechickification]

So many people seem to be forgetting about the existence of appetizers…

[@weonlyusepencil]

@@peacechickification true!!

[@meikusje]

Yeah, I'm an intuitive eater and I can't stand when people try to micromanage my eating, or make remarks about how or when I eat. I would understand the frustration/annoyance if his snacking led to him not eating the dinner she prepared, but he's still eating everything she makes for him, so whatever 😅 let people eat when they want to eat.

[@peacechickification]

@@meikusje for real. if i dismiss my hunger cues, after a certain amount of time i not only won't be hungry, but i can't even eat if i wanted to. if someone tried to stop me from snacking before dinner, they may have just made me unable to eat their dinner whenever it's ready.

[@rachelaureenb6]

Viciously refreshing to find something to listen to while working from home! Thank you!

[@StephMacDonald1031]

Same

[@MandeePeace]

I work in the office but I agree

[@izzymmendez]

Kp ooo i

[@tsumichama]

Totally unrelated but yours is the only comment I can see 😆 Edit: ok not anymore 😅

[@rachelaureenb6]

@@tsumichama my youtube was doing that yesterday too 😅

[@neitan6891]

I think your boyfriend should want you to meet all his friends, though. It does seem a little suspicious to me

[@hollyj4529]

The Mom and Dad apartment discussion - I am a firm believer that the truth always eventually comes out. Maybe not today or even this year, but some day the truth will come out. And when it does, there are usually consequences because someone usually gets hurt or angry. Don’t lie. It’s never worth it.

[@ckee8437]

I think he doesn't need to lie but it's none of his Dad's business so he should just not discuss it. My money is none of my parents business and theirs is none of mine.

[@TheLibraBookworm]

Story #1: I agree with the boyfriend. I get pretty hangry if I'm hungry for too long so I regularly will have a snack before a meal so that I can actually enjoy the meal instead of just inhaling the food lol

[@zoe-gs5cb]

Wanted to see if people were talking about the first one. I had the thought the first few time I cooked for my bf, but thought, didn't say. The third time he got a snack I just asked if I did something wrong, and explained that I feel I did something wrong or didn't cook soon enough.(making sure to say I thought I had an issue not he did something wrong) I had just gotten out of an abusive situation that was going on since I was 15 and just was panicking over nothing. He told me that he's always hungry but when it comes to him making food or me making food he just wants to have a snack so he doesn't get hangry. This was around 3ish years ago, hearing this story now I'm just like "oh God that brought me back to when I was worried" just cause of the tittle, I didn't think it was going to the point she was actually upset at him. And thinking even back to the thoughts I have I feel silly. Even if he wouldn't of finished it he puts it away for later, he wouldn't just ask me to make food if he wasn't gonna eat it. And knowing that made it better. It's always communication at the end of the day I guess

[@anastasiabuscho5194]

@@zoe-gs5cb yay yay u😅

[@YandereDay]

Second to last story: I had two people in my past tell me that they were quitting art because my work made them feel bad. Those friendships didn't last long after that because I was working on painting professionally and I couldn't talk about my work, a new technique I learned, etc without them guilt tripping me. Plot twist: I wasn't even that good and they weren't far behind anyway, they just took it personally when I was showing faster improvement.

[@KatjeKat86]

To me they sound toxic, your decision to quit or not a profession has nothing to do with somebody else and how well they're doing in it. As an artist, I'm a Metal Smith, who has the best technique is not necessarily who does the best professionally or who gets the most recognition.

[@janelle3513]

Canadian here, I rarely remember times where I would go to my friend's houses and not stay for dinner. It was always presumed that you would stay for dinner when you were invited over. Same thing when I invited friends over to my house, everyone would stay over for dinner. This stayed the same from elementary school through high school.

[@alicehargest]

It's funny I swear I commented on a video recently saying this, but in the UK or at least where I'm from, you're taught to offer to leave before dinner if it's not been explicitly stated, but equally parents/friends are usually as keen to offer you dinner - so the onus is on both parties to be polite

[@curlierthanthou]

We are chuckling at the story re kitty’s love for cardboard boxes 😹 Sounds like home! Also, a friend married the love of her life and they were together for 20+ years till his death; her husband was her ex-BF’s father.

[@Dbk416]

I feel like the last poster should do her part in letting him know how it makes you feel. It seems like a fairly simple thing to at least meet the friend. If he doesn't want to at least compromise, then that would be a red flag to me. However, once you meet the friend, you really wouldn't want to try to control who he can and can't hang out with.

[@crunchyoats1862]

I'm Canadian and when I was growing up I was invited to stay over for dinner at my friends houses... but most of the time I think they asked with the expectation that I was going home to eat. Also the dinners were always awkward so I never wanted to stay anyways. I think it's part of that passive-aggressive niceness Canadians have: when people "ask" if you want to stay for dinner, it's actually a way to let you know it's time to leave.

[@sandrafilot3399]

It's similar in the Netherlands, you are ought to leave before dinner is served, unless you are invited to stay for dinner by the host (way before dinner starts)

[@SomeBody-ce3gq]

Useful information, I didn't know that!

[@zodiea5289]

wow this is different from my experience living in the U.S. I lived mostly in the southern so when people ask me if I wanted to eat I usually take it as "they're being nice and inviting me over to eat" not "It's time to go home". If it's getting too late then they would directly ask me to leave or call my mother/father.

[@thenopedetective]

I never picked up on the passive aggression as a kid! But I'm from the east coast, so maybe different with small town culture?

[@iyawakarehen]

@@sandrafilot3399 it was my experience as a kid in france too, if i was invited to play at a friend's house for the afternoon, while i'd be fed for the ~goûter~ (small meal of sweet snacks or cake), i was also expected to piss off by dinner time unless it was specifically part of the invitation (it's also implied that i was awaited at home for dinner anyway). on the other end, if it was a party/sleepover, it was implied that dinner was part of the invitation, whether it was a family style sit down 'proper' dinner or pizza/snack meal/takeout that we'd likely eat in front of a movie.

[@Ariplaygames]

My ex bf was "friends" with all of His exes (some, he didnt even tell me they were his ex untill over a year of dating). One of them did the same thing, didnt want to meet me and always wanted to go out just her and my bf. She even told him the only reason she didnt want to meet me was that she was purposefully trying to make me jealous. I wasnt jealous or suspicious untill I heard that, my bf didnt listen to my concerns and thought that was normal. A while later I found he was writing to his "friends" (his exes) about how much he regretted not having sex with them and all the things he would do to them.

[@grrrlinde4351]

Interesting what you said about finding roommates online and how you find that's insane now, because in The Netherlands I feel like that's pretty much the most common way of getting a room. 😅 But the residents usually pick a handful of candidates and invite them all over to see who they like best

[@thenopedetective]

I feel like it's more of an age/funds thing than 2022 thing if that makes sense. I (Canadian) still know people who do that of all ages, but luckily most of my friends in their 30s no longer need to do this (low COL area) due to advancing in their career.

[@meikusje]

That was my first thought as well! I'm Dutch, and I've always lived with strangers as a student, until I got an apartment with my sister. There isn't really another way to do it, unless you and a group of friends manage to rent an apartment together, which can be very difficult.

[@grrrlinde4351]

@@meikusje exactly, like it's just a known thing, once you become a student you find a room online. I don't know anyone who lives in an apartment with friends, especially with the housing crisis now I think thats near impossible.

[@jampsonn1826]

I empathize so much with the kid of divorced parents. My parents are just like this - hate each other, dad got remarried and had other kiss with stepmom, my mom only has me. Difference is I chose to live with my mom, so i never had to lie to my dad about anything. He just saw my mom providing for me and stopped doing so after he was legally obligated to (child support, which he also fought to pay less of). It's so shitty bc these types of parents put YOU as the child in the middle of everything bc they're too immature to talk and figure shit out themselves. That person is deff not an asshole, their parents are. I mean good on the mom helping to pay for the apartment, but bad for encouraging secrecy bc it puts you in such a conflicting position as the kid. And bad on dad for exhibiting childish behavior - the fact that they're worried this dad would choose the other kids over them is sad AF but I relate to it so much.

[@MathPiHanan]

I defended (and passed) my PhD dissertation today, which is the only reason why I didn’t watch this episode the minute it dropped 😅🫣 I’m sharing because Cristine has always been supportive of education 💕

[@katherinecornell9982]

congrats!!!

[@MathPiHanan]

@@katherinecornell9982 thank you! I mentioned it because Cristine is always supportive of education 😅

[@prettypolitics3384]

That’s amazing!!!

[@emiliarain7269]

OMG! Congratulations!!! 🥳

[@acinom714]

congrats!

[@jacobbolin5065]

I’m a male from Alabama. I’m definitely part of the 0.01% of the demographic that watches the pod/ the main channel. I absolutely love the discussions had on this channel. I absolutely love these guys!

[@tianna1116]

Wait we’re only 1%? I’m only a couple minutes into the video so I haven’t got there yet

[@sam56677]

Are people really blatantly ignoring the actual problem? That girl, gave the boyfriend a separate gift and he chose that gift over the same thing that the GF gave, in a different colour. That seems to have triggered the issue and that is definitely suspicious lol.

[@siri3208]

35:15 this is litterally the situation here in Norway.people get paid an actual living wage, and pretty much no-one tips. If you tip, its usually 5-15% for OUTSTANDING service

[@in_99]

The rocky friendship/job promotion one was tough. I have a lot of sympathy for the op because I get what it’s like feeling inadequate and feeling left behind 100% but I also feel like there should be sympathy for the other friend too. I get that op was trying to have a vulnerable moment, and obviously we were t actually there to hear the full context of the conversation, but I’ve had those friends where I am trying to share a success or a happy moment with them and they turn around and make it about themselves or can never have a positive/happy moment, which can be really draining. You still care about that person, but friends are people who should fill your bucket, not pour it out. I get that they didn’t mean it maliciously, but them getting a promotion had nothing to do with op. Instead of getting encouragement, the friend got negativity and felt guilty for their achievement. Idk it’s just hard, but some people need to learn that not everything is about you and that it’s ok to feel jealous/not so great/sadness without bringing other people down. Hopefully they’ll be able to work through this! It would suck to lose friends over something like this.

[@julianafrost5999]

In Germany tipping is pretty uncommon unless you're in a fancy restaurant for dinner...maybe youre gonna round up so you dont get sm change but usually you just pay for your stuff...maybe if its very great service or a family owned little business...having the tip already included in the bill or you having to pick 20% or 18% would be crazy...the server taking your card to the back or anything like that would also be insane and youd immediatly say no

[@cadancekerber1050]

I really felt that good vives message in the end. Tomorrow, I start a new job with the Canadian Gov (PCO) via FSWEP and I'm super nervous and excited! I'm bringing all the taco tuesday positivity with me tomorrow. Cristine (and Ben, too), you've been a huge inspo to to me to start my degree (I'm at Carleton!) and set myself up for the kind of life I want to live. Sending you all the best vibes right back!!

[@lynnevetter]

On the last one, I agree, that you don't want to be controlling, but it seems to me that the "friend" is a little sketchy and that the boyfriend is willing to let his gf sweat. Not very nice. Like the "friend" goes out and buys the same gift for the guy that his girlfriend did, ick. And they are not allowed to meet? She doesn't need to be friends with dude's friends, but they should at least meet.

[@Sauti_science]

As a 20 year old student, I try to keep my kitchen clean cause my roommate keeps it clean and I feel bad if I don't also help, but we currently don't have a recycling bin, so we have a chair that we pile the paper and plastic and cardboard on until it gets picked up

[@Meelameels]

For the dirty roommates thing get everything separate from your roommates. Pots, pans, trash cans, plates. And just use ur own shit and store it in your room. Hopefully you’re not sharing a bathroom also

[@slelamafou]

I can't comprehend this tips system. Just pay your workers a decent amount. Don't make them beg to customers to earn enough money to pay the rent. That's how it feels to me. Where I live, this doesn't exist. The prices on the menu are the ones you pay at the end. No tips, unknown taxes, bread and water you didn't know you had to pay until you ask the bill. Just put higher prices on the menu, it's easy. It's only when you find the place really nice, or when you really enjoyed the service that you give a tip. And you don't do math, you just give what you feel like it. When I went to the States, I found that so annoying. At the restaurant, you are expected to tip 15 or 20%. This I get. But then, when you buy a coffee to go, do you tip ? There is so many different situations where the rules are not the same. At the hotel, we were expected to tip for the cleaning services, not a percentage but something like 3-5$. Same for the shuttle bus driver. And if you didn't know you should have paid a tip, everyone think you're rude. Come on ! I don't mind paying, just tell me upfront how much. We expect waiters to be polite, and they usually are. No need to bribe them with this tip nonsense 😁

[@Lanoira13]

The second to last story also honestly strikes me as more of an "Is this a relationship worth keeping?" issue than the 4th story. At least in the 4th story it had already been 4 months and things were going really well. But 15 years or not, if most of your relationship has been toxic and on/off, then that relationship just might not be healthy and it might be time to move on.

[@Octobris]

I've been in a similar situation and I felt very similarly to OP. For me, among other reasons, those feelings came from the fact my friend was the first real connection I formed in 25+ years and despite the relationship becoming toxic pretty quickly, I was terrified of losing that connection, because "without that person I am nothing and I have nobody". So this is another argument for what Ben said - OP finding their self-worth may be the key in this situation. Hopefully it could help them heal and make letting go of a relationship that clearly didn't work a bit easier.

[@erican4255]

The cat with the cardboard story! LOL I do the same thing and I've started building a mini greenhouse for my cats out of the boxes I've acquired so I can reduce the number of loose boxes and also give them something cute to play in

[@fedepereiraa]

Cristine should play before your eyes on stream, the game will sure spark some deep introspection and conversations topics from simply 😉. It’s also, in a way, a kind of interactive movie. So it might be a good way to make movies more interesting for Cris 😂

[@Anemone_Productions]

I had a roommate in college dorms bc those were the cheapest dorms my family could afford. I had a mini fridge and she'd keep her expired yogurt among other foods that she'd never eat. She kept fruit and bread rotting in her closet shelves. And I couldn't even tell her anything because we never communicated, which I admit is partially my fault for being awkward, but she never so much as said hello to me when she walked into the room. For half a semester I cleaned up after myself while the other half of the room was a dump, then midterms came about and we got an email from the RA that said we were having inspections before the break. From one day to the next, every disgusting thing in her side of the room disappeared. I almost thought I was hallucinating everything before that point. I don't clean my apartment very thoroughly very often, but I don't keep rotting food. I take the trash out twice a week, and I at least sweep even if I can't mop so the dust doesn't accumulate. I decided very early on I'd never have another roommate.

[@mariaj7322]

22:29 I am living with 3 other people in college and we never have this sort of problems because everyone has their own things, like, own fork, own plate, etc. that we brought into the house and everyone is responsible for theirs. This creates less problems because if other person didn't clean their things it doesn't affect me, I can still cook. The only way this can become problematic is when there is to many dishes to do, but it can't get to wild because when you only have 4 plates you can't let them pile up hahaha. Of course, we lend eachother things if needed, no problem with that, but it's not the usual because everyone has his own things. One thing is also helpful but particular to our situation is that we eat very different: one celiac (can't mix anything with us), one vegetarian, one athlete (eats a lot of food) and one "normal" eater. So this means that we hardly ever share food and everyone makes his own particular dinner

[@zaraandrews600]

I completely understand the anxiety of someone walking around your workspace. I used to work in a private library and it was really anxiety inducing to have people continuously coming in and out of the room I was working in (all of the books were located there). It felt like people were always watching me work and I could never fully relax.

[@mckinneypassios4273]

I was always taught to invite people for dinner. Or at the very least to offer a drink and snack

[@shuurrre]

The tipping story brought up an old memory. I’m a stay at home mom with a partner. We only have 1 income coming in. We also only have 1 child. But as we’ve gotten older and his position has gotten better we’re living I wouldn’t say comfortably but also not exactly struggling as bad as others. Anyway, this was when our child was maybe 2 or 3 we were struggling at this time. I had taken my daughter out to eat after running errands bc she was saying how hungry she was. I didn’t have the money to buy us both decent meals and she was so little so we shared a meal. Which was fine, we did often. The meal was less than $5 and I left a 3$ tip which I though was enough. The server was nice. She took our order and brought our food, nothing spectacular. She never asked how it was or if we needed anything. I was fine with that. I cleaned up our plates and table, which I always do. My family has always told me to stop doing that, that’s their job, that’s what they get paid to do. Even as a little girl, I saw how busy servers were and how they were rushing around, it made me feel good to help them out with something little and a mess we make. Anyway I leave the tip, my daughter and I are walking out the door and I over hear our server complaining loudly to another server about how it pissed her off, what a ridiculous tip, it was insulting I should have just left nothing. Which I felt so upset about. I felt maybe I should have done more for her but I knew I didn’t even spend 5$ so did she expect me to give a tip that was larger than the cost of my meal? I understand that’s their income, I get anxiety after that paying tips. I’m always worried if I didn’t tip enough which my partner always complains because most times I walk out giving a tip at least half the cost of my bill. I understand the struggles of being a server and it gives me so much anxiety and pressure like I have to help make up for their income just because. It has gotten to the point where I have to walk out of the restaurant first and my partner will leave a tip and I just have to block it out because it makes me panic.

[@rattusprime1578]

Tipping culture is so different around the world- in the Uk where I live everyone tends to tip but it’s usually just whatever spare change you have on you or rounding the cost up. When I went to America everyone looked at you so weirdly if you didn’t tip or gave a small tip but when I visited Japan, it was considered rude to tip. It’s seen as you believing the waiter isn’t paid enough and tipping undermines some of the cultural norms of having good service. It’s very interesting to see what it is like to tip when you travel :)

[@pilarrodriguez5133]

I totally relate to crazy anxiety about things happening to my pets 😂

[@vykepp5709]

Wtf I swear whenever in this series some crazy relationship shit is happening, or just petty arguments, it's straight people 😂

[@timetraveler878]

You guys have to charge a "pet tax" for people who send stories about pets, they should have the option to attach pictures of their cute pets!!! (Only if they are comfortable of course)

[@JaazBegonias]

I love your hair like this Cristine! Looks great.

[@marko-ox2pc]

First time watching an episode this early! Thanks for doing these fun podcasts, I really like hearing your opinions on these stories

[@mawithaxdd]

Y’all should do this fan submission but with confessions like you have before on Reddit. I have some juicy things to confess.

[@hannahms3029]

Thanks for the good vibes Simply, definitely need them rn!!

[@polianarchy]

Thanks for treating your audience with so much care 💖 y'all are both such sweeties

[@blackthornbark]

34:00 i'm polish and i was always told that 5-10% tip is the "standard" one. 15-20% was for the outstanding places. i probably never tipped more than a 20% :0

[@karijaure8434]

Big hug, Cristine for your non nice kitty dream. Hugs for Zyler and Menchie. Good vibes to you, Ben, and the kitties, too.✌💜🍀

[@Sherri84]

I DoorDash because I need the flexibility. If someone were to tip 20% off of a $20 order for example, that's $2. Base pay is $2 ish for most places. Between miles to restaurant, to customer and possibly needing to drive back to the area where food is, $4 isn't worth my time. I'll decline that order.

[@alicehargest]

Yes uploaded right when I start my workout!!✨

[@iansmith2013]

Monstera on Beyyyyyns left hand is AMAZING. Also pairs perfectly with his sweater. A+++

[@blackanne]

thank you for the good vibes, I needed them. actually it made me a little teary-eyed 😂 good vibes to you too! ❤

[@aprilharwig]

Yay been waiting all morning for this 😍

[@anamia9905]

Thank you for the good vibes... I sure need it 🥺 Loved the podcast 🥰

[@RukiaChan15]

thank you cristine & beyyn for these podcasts and everything else you do! I truly appreciate all your guys hard work. I usually keep to myself & I get really lonely but listening to y'all keeps me going 🥰 just wanted to share some love 🌸

[@collyflower6623]

Really appreciated the chat up top about how much care you both put into these discussions. This type of tactful conversation is so valuable to younger viewers when it seems like everyone just wants to dunk on people for Internet points

[@aquanitemare]

Another great episode. I remember it the same way as Cristine, it was 15% tip when I was growing up. I think it was in college in the 2010s that I found out about 20% being more standard.

[@MandaSBSP]

I love the way you have deep, intellectual conversations about seemingly nonsense life issues. 😂❤😂

[@larla03]

"You can snack while YOU'RE cooking" is sublime as I do not enjoy cooking right now.

[@lilypad4612]

DoorDash and Uber Eats is PRETTY expensive! Those companies take so much from their drivers. But I can completely understand why they don’t want to tip more than 20%, seems pretty standard.

[@christinefitzhugh8669]

both of you are great together and give good advice. Thanks

[@fredpembleton1917]

Minimum wage in a lot of states is still pretty low, and if someone is in a fortunate enough position it’s kind to tip a lot. If I buy food for $10 I’ll tip $3 because it’s only 3 dollars, so what if it’s 30%? I think that the poster is right that you shouldn’t be expected to tip a lot, but I think the boyfriend is right in saying that the girlfriend shouldn’t be so against tipping

[@nidiamaria1981]

Yayy. After a break so exited to dive in. Cristine you look beautiful!!!

[@natalieharding5463]

Love these episodes. Also Cristine’s hair looks so cute ☺️

[@Priya-ti4fe]

Simply saying 300$ was her rent makes me want to cry. Even an absolutely unliveable place is at least 500$ these days with roommate - a current Carleton student

[@_bebeboudeur_]

Me at the start of university vs at the end, felt that rising rent 😭

[@seofra8252]

#1 Personally my husband is diabetic and I am hypoglycemic. We both eat when we need to eat. And I actually prefer if he has a snack if needed so I'm not rushing dinner.

[@susurr1954]

Same!