Sleep Training FAIL... and why I don't care.

Sleep Training FAILED... and why I don't care.
#sleeptraining #momblog #8monthsleeptraining #8monthsleepregression
Blog: www.heyshayla.com/sleep-train...
We failed at sleep training and I don't mind.
This video is all about how we tried to sleep train and how we failed.
00:00 Sleep training FAILED, and why I don't care.
00:48 How I feel about sleep training courses
2:00 Sleeping through the night
3:33 If baby can put herself back to sleep
6:06 What I wish I'd known
I hope this was helpful and if you also are a "softy" I feel you, we're in this together.
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[@stephaniedorval5856]

I’m laying in bed nursing our 7.5 month old fella for a nap as I watch this! My husband and I are fellow go-with-the-flow softies. We pretty much have the same exact mindset about this - we’re just not worried about it. We bed share. Like most things, it wasn’t planned but it’s working out great for us. My husband and I sacrifice our alone time for the time being but we all sleep so great, which allows us to be happy, present parents during the day. Also, I’m constantly reminded that kids have sleep issues at all ages. I have friends who had perfectly “sleep trained” babies and now that they’re toddlers, it’s back to square one. So the way I see it, why stress about it now? We’ll deal with each phase as it comes. Thank you for being so open-minded and non-judgmental. I wish mommy world was filled with more women with that mindset!

[@biancaneculai9961]

Indeed! Most of us moms are 'busy' judging other moms, instead of showing support. We are all different, our kids are different, we like different things. And this is the best approach, take one step at the time.

[@ashleybeazley]

My amazing husband reminded me what you’re saying - it has to work for us and whatever is working for our life is fine. I thought I needed to stop nursing her to sleep because that’s what I was reading and it WAS NOT WORKING. I would sit on the stairs and cry and cry and listen to her scream. My husband read me an article from Kelly mom about how it’s biologically normal to nurse to sleep and after I accepted that we would do whatever the hell we liked and what was working beautifully then we had a much more peaceful life.

[@oranjmusemeyer968]

Good for you! 🙂

[@kimberlylois4855]

Yes Ashley!!!! I read so much about how nursing to sleep was “wrong” and had so much guilt if I did nurse my baby to sleep. I had never nursed him to sleep and then the 4 month sleep regression hit and all hell broke loose 😳 lol the only thing that would settle him (and me) was nursing. So that’s what we do. And it works. And we are all happy! He doesn’t NEED nursed to sleep anymore, he’ll totally go to sleep being rocked by me or my husband, but I really enjoy our time nursing and cuddling 💕

[@ashleybeazley]

@@kimberlylois4855 I had been nursing her to sleep since birth and figured it was time to stop and it just wasn’t working. She’s 21 months and she can go to bed on her own but she still falls asleep nursing for her naps! She sleeps 3 hours during the day and 9-10 hours at night and we are a happy family and she’s doing amazing so I figure that’s all that matters

[@clarajo6932]

We have done cosleeping with all of our kids (on #5 now) and love it. They all fell asleep nursing, everytime too. They stopped night nursing at about 14 months old and that's when we transitioned them to their own beds. Works everytime for us. And I'm happy with it. P.S. the way I always thought about it: I dont like sleeping alone, so why would a baby?

[@lucyharris1622]

Great comment, makes total sense.

[@heyshayla]

Did they take a bottle? What was it like when they stopped nursing at 14 months? I feel like she'll never stop and a girl's trying to get her period back!

[@clarajo6932]

@@heyshayla No, no bottle at night either. They would nurse before bed and in the morning. Some of my kids accepted the bottle when needed during the day, some refused everything but the boob. I got my period back usually between 8 and 10 months postpartum (with exclusive nursing, starting solids after 6 months).

[@ylime133]

My 4 month old also nurses to sleep always, and I feel the same way! I'm so not concerned with meeting a "sleep standard". As long has he is getting the amount of sleep he needs to grow and be healthy, I'm a happy mama! Thank you for sharing 🤗

[@whitney3258]

Was at the pediatrician today for my daughters 4 month check up & we are talking about sleeping ect. I asked her about nursing her to sleep & the fact she's sleeping with me & she said "It's only a problem if it's a issue for you." Basically if I don't mind nursing her to sleep, then it's fine. If I don't mind co sleeping, then it's fine & I don't need to worry about what everyone else has to say. I felt such a relief lol. It works for us now and when it doesn't we'll figure something else out lol. As parents we are all trying to do our best. And if you don't agree with someone else's methods KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. We're all already stressed/worried enough without someone else adding to it.

[@PNWlover]

I needed this today.. I’ve been stressed about sleep training and all the stuff google says :( Thank you thank you thank you

[@ASMRKay_]

Your videos bring me so much joy ❤️

[@katherinehazen4154]

Failed with the first, not even trying with the second and I have never felt more free 😆

[@heyshayla]

Bahahaha amazing

[@MultiDaisy1995]

I really appreciate how you put the information out there that you’ve learned, what has worked or not worked for your baby, etc.... all while maintaining a very non judgmental uplifting attitude towards other parenting methods. ❤️

[@heyshayla]

I’m so glad it’s helpful!!❤️❤️

[@kerstinpeters7831]

We’ve had the same sleep journey! Loved everything you said! I’m at peace with not sleep training too. We will get to longer sleep stretches 💗

[@jessicacrane5553]

Bless 🙏 low key I’ve been so nervous for the newborn phase and your chill laid back attitude brings me immediate peace.

[@heyshayla]

It’s gnarly. But it’s also beautiful and temporary and all about your perspective❤️. Some days will be shit shows and others will be bliss, ride the wave🙌

[@borednessize]

AW frick thank you Jesus… so glad I found this channel. Keep posting girlfriend I am now a full supporter

[@heyshayla]

👏👏👏👏👏

[@brittsandie9121]

I needed this. I love this video, I needed it so bad. You have given me the confidence to trust myself and stop worrying about all the other shit

[@IMprintpress]

Yup... pretty much my story! Thanks for putting out there that it's okay to fail and to do what works for you! I am sure there are so many parents that need to hear this! You're an awesome set of parents!

[@erikas3264]

I really learna lot from your video's! Also your forgiving and accepting messages are what one needs to here these days with so many other voices strongly stating how things should be done :)

[@mrsa8170]

I can't love this blog enough 😍. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[@mrsa8170]

*not blog but you know what I mean 😅

[@Sam-qt5ff]

This video is absolutely fantastic. I’m so sick of seeing “how I got my baby to sleep through the night at 1 month old!” And other bologna videos. Finally. Finally. Finally...Someone who follows maternal instincts and just lives day by day and enjoys it every step of the way. Why is it not socially acceptable to not sleep train? The question parents are usually asked is “when are you going to start sleep training?” Which implies you are a failure of a mother if you don’t do so or that your child will never get enough sleep. Sheesh. Newborns are animals. Have to get in an animal mindset to look after them. Parents must adapt to their needs. Not the other way around.

[@heyshayla]

Newborns are animals 😂🙌 love this

[@Sam-qt5ff]

@@heyshayla You saw my comment! I feel as if I’ve been noticed by a celebrity or perhaps the real Jesus himself. Love you! Happy parenting and cheers!

[@hadasgoldfarb5571]

Your videos are such a breath of fresh air! Love your perspective. I am doing what works for us with my two month old and we are so happy! I love being able to be laid back about what we’re doing now and knowing that we can change things up if they stop working for us in the future. I don’t have to worry about the future now. Trusting your instincts as a mother is the most important thing. Listen to your inner voice!

[@heyshayla]

Blog: www.heyshayla.com/sleep-training-fail/

[@pinkyslippers]

I am here as a fellow sleep training failure.

[@emilystrukoff7545]

Thank you for saying this! I wish I found it sooner! My sweet boy is 6 months old and we’re much too soft for sleep training. It just feels good to have someone validate that it’s okay that we nurse to sleep and that we’re not setting up our child for a life of insomnia 😂

[@imnice003]

Yes girl!! Thank you for the words of encouragement✨✨✨🥰💙 baby boy will be here in two months!!!

[@megrandall7767]

Your sleep journey is exactly the same as ours right now! Loved this video, so encouraging. Thank you 💖

[@falongreen350]

This video is what I needed 👏👏👏

[@ashleyw7718]

Sleep training is awful. I can’t even imagine leaving my baby to cry like that, it feels WRONG… it’s also so antiquated and was written by some dude who thought babies should be seen and not heard :(( makes me so sad.

[@stefaniasvalaoskarsdottir738]

Trying to relax a little sounds like a good plan. I've been feeding my little one to sleep lately and have been feeling so guilty about it, but I think it's just what he needs right now. Let's see what happens...

[@Housewifeforhim]

I always nurse my baby to sleep ❤️ don’t feel bad, Mama!

[@darianalexi]

I’ve also got into the habit of feeding my baby girl to sleep AND have been feeling guilty myself.

[@kerstinpeters7831]

I’ve resorted to this too lately and I’m just accepting it! This won’t last forever :)

[@elvirazeb4113]

We do the same! Honestly I feel heartbroken for the babies that are left alone in a room to CIO. I could never do that. However I did try the pantley method: nurse the baby but don’t let her fall asleep completely on the boob. It worked but then our lo started teething

[@elysificated]

THANK YOU! "I support you." I love it. As a mom of a little 5 mo old, I feel you! Yes, so much goes into sleep, including temperament (baby's and yours). Sleep training is so trendy right now, it's easy to get a little down about going a different route. I have to remind myself often that I'm ok with how we're doing things. BE A PROUD SOFTIE, lol. But yes, here's to space for all mama styles!

[@pienkunicorn]

The books name is Bringing up Bébé. It was a very interesting read

[@ekatrinya]

You have excellent content 👌🏻😘 I always learn something.

[@JasmineAvril]

Definitelyyyyy needed this! Baby girl will be 6 months on Monday and we don’t have a routine or anything. I simply follow her cues. Everyone has their “oh you definitely should (insert unsolicited advice here). I’m working from home right now and I don’t see the need to implement things that won’t work for us.

[@LuxiWang27]

Thank you!! We do the exact. same. thing. LO nurses to sleep and wakes up for comfort and wet diapers every few hours. I'm so grateful for this video because it normalizes our experience.

[@dawnforlife]

I sleep scheduling fail and I don't care too! hahahah! Her sleeping time got pushed back from 7pm to 9pm to 12am to 1am. You know what, I'm a stay at home mom, so be it because when she sleeps at 9pm, I was in the room from 7pm with her alone; missing ALL chill out time with my husband, no tv, no conversations, fussy baby, I think I almost burned out. So now, she sleeps at 12/1am and I DON"T care, she wakes at 10am anyway and I"m fine. Whatever, I'm happy and chiller this way. She wakes every 2 hrs to feed and goes back to sleep. She just hit 4 months last night thoughhhhh...so...the question is...does it get EVEN worse from now?

[@dawnforlife]

@@michaelavanhamel2627 omg I FEEEEL you mama!!! hahaha! I'm also slowly inching it slightly earlier. It is so much less stress. Plussss babies who sleep at 6pm wakes up at 6am. Come to think of it..not ideal too. Now she sleeps late, I'm home, we sleep in. Rather than stressing and wasting 3 hours E.VE.RY night! 😆

[@dharmadharma3960]

Absolutely! My child is a night owl. He's 14 months now and he does so well at night time playing independently. He goes down between 10 and midnight and sleeps well. I'm just happy he sleeps at all! He had a rough start.

[@deborahmontgomery7881]

👏👏👏 not judging other mothers. I was against cosleeping pre-birth. We did it because that’s what worked for us. He wouldn’t sleep anywhere else. He woke every 3 hours to be fed. And we fed him. We share the burden because I couldn’t BF. Just within the last month he started sleeping 5-6 hours straight. He’s 5.5 months now and sleeps 10 hours straight in his crib in his room. We never did a method. I’m a teacher. Methods ignore reality. Go with the flow and be your best. That’s all. Basically…what matters is what works best for you and baby. Be open!

[@kimberlylois4855]

SHAYLA!!!! I *wish* I had watched this video when my baby was so much younger (he’s almost 6mo ❤️). I stressed so much about sleep training the first 4 months and I feel like it really impacted bonding with him bc I was so frustrated that my baby wasn’t doing what the course said he SHOULD be doing 🙄 so I nurse him to sleep as well. He’s happy, I’m happy and nobody’s stressed ✌🏻 for any other new mama- just roll with the punches and do what is best for YOUR BABY and YOUR FAMILY. Thanks for the video!

[@heyshayla]

Ugh it’s so stressful and soo much pressure!! I agree, whatever makes everyone happy!!

[@KelseyThielmann]

I love how amped up you are about 'just do what you want' at 4:30 and I think that's important because there isn't a right or wrong. Certain methods work well for one person and are hellish for the next. What works best for you and your lifestyle is what you should do. I think that's a great way to go about it!

[@michellesorenson1292]

Shayla... you are a mommy goddess! My kids are grow and gone, yet I would have loved to have your input back then..... You are WISE beyond your years sweet girl!!! You should have a TV show for other moms! I love watching how you grow as a mother and share in such a unjudging way. Moms of today should be grateful.

[@cutiebm]

Breaks my heart sometimes listening to KZbin moms because I know that I can't be with my baby as much because I have to go back to work.

[@heyshayla]

This is the reality for most people! Don’t feel bad, soak up your baby. The grass is always greener, sometimes I wish my baby was around more people than just me and that I was too! We’re all doing the best we can ❤️

[@annabelle42688]

Thank you, just thank you.

[@heyshayla]

Yeah girl, we’re doing the best we can. And getting waaaaay more info than we need lol. I support you🙌

[@sofirebora22]

It's mindblowing to me that 5 pm could be considered night time, of course this is mainly cultural. I'm from Argentina and I'm trying to start putting my baby down to sleep at 9 pm because we were doing it at 11 pm and we figured that if we did it earlier we could eat dinner more peacefully

[@memenhuneebs]

I have four children and Alllllll of this was excellent information and spoken like a pro!!! I agree with all of this!

[@WorldOfNicky]

These have been so helpful. I’m only on week 15, but I’m trying to be as prepared as possible. I’m 34, and this is our one and only miracle baby. ♥️ So I’m trying to be prepped as I can, and ready!

[@erikalu3583]

Very helpful!

[@HLDlove]

Thank you for this! I am due with baby in May and I was always confused about the idea of sleep training. I get the whole self soothing thing and it's a great idea in theory, but I think about even as an adult sometimes it's hard to self soothe if you're really upset. Sometimes it can make the world of a difference to have someone nearby with you, even just their presence, versus trying to "cry it out" and hope that you fall asleep. I know the cry it out method and other methods work for people and sometimes as parents you are forced to try different methods, but right now my mentality is, well we probably won't sleep much anyway so we might as well get up and not try to stick to a rigid schedule.

[@SoMuchAnna]

I’m not even pregnant, but I love you and your videos! So I literally have an entire playlist of mostly your videos/recommendations for when I need them one day!

[@Bilisjourney]

amen mama!! 🙌🏽🤍

[@ashleybeazley]

Yaaas the pause is what I have learned and will do differently with the next baby. I learned about wake windows around 4 months old and it changed everything!! I was able to lay her down awake and she would fall asleep on her own. (I nursed about a half hour before I figured she would need to sleep). Lol then the 6 month regression hit early and we had to figure her out all over again. That’s when I started co sleeping I think too. If she woke up after midnight I would just bring her to bed with me. Had to stop that when she started crawling though and almost smashed her face falling off of our bed.

[@brosiaaa]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 love you for all you have said! Also, my baby won’t take a bottle or pacifier but yea I like nursing it’s all good. It’s fine 😁

[@savagecabbage7781]

My baby won't take a bottle or dummy. She will feed to sleep but then I move to put her in her crib and she always wakes up but she normally talks herself to sleep at night. She is only 3 months and she wakes every 3 hours but she has problems with gas and wakes squealing early morning and I have to sleep her on me on the recliner.

[@lyssabyers4912]

Wow, this was so encouraging and things I needed to hear. Thank you SO much for sharing

[@IDGAFks]

How can someone dislike this video?? Its literally the least problematic video out there haha you tell everyone to do what works for them

[@brodyszone157]

Watching this at 7am trying to not think abt morning sickness. I can't believe I'm doing this at my age it still blows my mimd.

[@sarahroberts7374]

How far gone are you? Morning sickness will pass! I found (vegan) greek yoghurt to be a godsend when i couldnt stomach real food! I also found being to empty stomached or full up made it worse so just getting a few spoonfuls of yoghurt in really helped! Suppose we are all different but its worth trying!

[@andbeeyou1465]

I’m at 4:12 of the video saying out loud, “f^ck yeah mama! F^ck yeah mama!” I’m so proud of you, And now I’m crying. Needed this video and many many others that you’ve shared these last few months. 5 months pregnant and constantly coming back to your channel for more !!

[@heyshayla]

F*uck yeah mama!!!!! Hahaha love this and congrats!!

[@shannonfoster5509]

You might also like stuff about Aware Parenting developed by Aletha Solter who to me gives a good middle ground on the crying (if you ever need another option). She offers the option of supported crying where you stay with the child rather than having them cry on their own which was so much better for me as a Montessori-trained nanny trying to follow the child. I just can’t stomach cry it out myself!

[@biancaneculai9961]

Yesss!!! I totally love this! I also believe that you gotta do whatever works for you and your family and not to feel ashamed for it or to feel the 'urge' of explaining yourself and your choices to others (however, they always know best 🤣). And yes, there is a huge huuuge difference between feeling that your baby doesn't sleep if they wake up every 2 -3 hours to nurse, or feeling that they sleep all night long if they nurse every 2-3 hours, it depends how we respond. It's hard when they are fussy all night... :))) It's just a phase, it won't be like this forever .. they grow up waaay to fast, and the frustrations only steals our joy of the moment.

[@joannamalak1772]

I nurse my baby to sleep every night and in the middle of the night. Hes 6 months old. He doesn't take a paci or a bottle. They don't stay little forever so im enjoying every moment.

[@heyshayla]

Saaaame. But also if they did and slept through the night, I could embrace that too. Always gotta try and keep it positive 😂❤️🙌

[@t204]

Love this so much. Wish I saw this when I was sleeping training my now toddler. Long story short: she still sleeps with me and we both love it.

[@heyshayla]

Seriously whatever works!! I love sleeping with her too ❤️❤️

[@ThePhoopsie]

I wish I could like this video 1000 times 👍👍👍

[@meagangalvin6219]

I'd also suggest checking in with any other caregivers (other parent, grandparents, nanny, childcare center, etc) what they are *willing* or able to do for nap times and possibly coordinate with them. Less of a worry with anyone who can stay home, but that's not always an option.

[@DarzRojas]

My daughter would not use a bottle for the first 6 to 8 months, but now she drinks out of one no problem. We didn't force it on her or anything, we would just rest it randomly and one day she was like, ok.

[@heyshayla]

What?! Great to know!!!

[@Emivibes96]

I wish more sleep training videos were like this! My daughter slept with us until she was 3 months and then slept in her crib but it was a journey and emotionally draining on my end because I put so much pressure to get her to sleep through the night but once I decided what worked for US and not what the doctors were suggested it went so much better

[@heyshayla]

🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@CBullman163]

Love love love your videos and style. Could you please say what age your baby is in your videos at the time you shot it? I go back and watch some of your older ones and it would be great to have that point of reference. Thanks 🙌🏻💗

[@heyshayla]

Great idea!

[@evirosy5531]

Nice and honest video:-) I just follow my babies needs-each of them is different. My daughter was very independent baby, outgoing, she slept with me for first three months (much easier and natural for me) and later I realized, she really likes to be in her own bed. I just put her down, kiss and that was all and she slept the whole night (since she was half year old). And she loved to be in her bed. With my second son I found out, he really needs to be with me in the night and he didn't like to be separeted, he loved breastfeeding not just because of milk, It was because of this bond with me, he needed me to falk asleep. Both of my kids are very sociable, like to be with other people and kids, they are independent. My son still sleeps with us, but he doesn't mind to stay over the night in his grandparents house, attend his kindergarten etc.. Now we gonna have a third baby and we will see:-) My experience is - you don't need to train anything, just keep in mind you should cooperate with your baby and at the same time establish some boards(for example-I brestfeeded my son until he was 3years old, but when he was 14months old I told him ok, you can eat any solid food now, so mummy will provide breastfeeding just at home, no more in the he public, outside of home) and It was ok, I would never let him to pull my clothes off and scream for breastfeeding. The same thing with pottie training-I offer them pottie, but don't force them. Ones they are ready,between 2-3 years thay just switch to pottie and over nigh we stop diapers at all. Independent play-I play with them a lot, but after that they have to find how to entertained themselves (or be bored:-), I don't let baby cry, but It doesn't mean I am in stress anytime they cry-If I need to drink, eat, go to the toilet,I just do it:-) So no books, no courses, no stress, minimum crying and no spoiled kids:-). And If you onece say no to any behaviour issue, keep it, because It is the most powerful thing, be consistent.

[@heyshayla]

This is GOOOOLLLLLDDDDSD

[@thepurplehorse]

My journey is so similar to yours! I’m a little bit granola, but have a PhD so seek out the science. The Beyond Sleep Training Project helped us so much.

[@heyshayla]

Omg I love that!!!

[@marycomstock6098]

You have tapped into the greatest parenting secret!! STOP stressing about everything your baby is “not” doing “right”! It took me waaaay too long with #1 to figure that out! Stress will never change anything. And, probably, whatever it is doesn’t actually need to change! These are tiny humans for Pete’s sake, they’re as different as we are as adults. Every baby is different and they desire to thrive, lean in to their natural tendencies! Thanks for being such a refreshing mom presence in this internet world!!

[@TheKennyjaaay]

This makes me feel good my baby only slept in a crib till 4 months. Now we co sleep and he’ll be a year soon. He doesn’t put himself to sleep. I don’t mind. It works for me as a single mom. But it’s hard when so many people tell me what I should be doing.

[@julieh4747]

Great video! So refreshing to see someone who enjoys being a parent and just adjusts as necessary. My oldest slept with me for 12 months. She wouldn't sleep otherwise. My other three were in no way interested in being in bed with me. I also absolutely loved the ease of breastfeeding. I worked full time with my first at a "town job" and she was in daycare. It was so much harder to exclusively breastfeed, but I went to her on my lunch hour and she took an ounce of pumped milk before I picked her up. When she got older she would just wait for me to come feed her. With the other three I was a self employed farmer. My MIL watched them if I was on a tractor with no where for them to ride, otherwise they were with myself or my husband. Much easier to meet their demands. The nursing will slow as more solids are introduced. For a while I was sad because I felt less useful, but when I realized how much it freed me up, I enjoyed it. I changed their schedule when they reached a year and only fed 3 times a day. Morning, nap time, and bed time. With the oldest I weaned her cold turkey because everything I read said I had to get her away from me to get her to self soothe and go to sleep without nursing. That was a big mistake. She fought so hard and my husband struggled so much to get her to calm down. With the other three I reduced feeding over the course of a few weeks until they only got to nurse right before bed time. When I weaned I made sure they were full of a snack and had a cup of milk and I rocked them to sleep. Yes I still soothed them, but it was so much easier on me physically amd emotionally. They also understood that they couldn't nurse but still wanted me to comfort them. I did have to then wean them from a cup, but like you said it was my choice and I was fine with it. I introduced a cup at 5 months, even if I had to help them. They took water with their meals, and it never interfered with their nursing habits. Anyway this isn't supposed to be about me, but rather the fact that you present your information in a way that makes people feel they are doing it right because it is what works best for them. I wish I had been more that way from the beginning, but I did learn it and it was a tremendous relief once I did. As long as the child is healthy and happy and so are the parents, then just do what works.

[@LaurinGuad]

I'm currently experiencing the 4 month sleep regression, and the only way my son will fall asleep is by nursing 😩 This mama needs some sleep. I'm 40, I'm tired and I'm cranky. Oh well. I know all too well that this time is short-lived.

[@heyshayla]

Ugh the 4 month is soooo hard!! Sending you all the good vibes mama

[@LaurinGuad]

@@heyshayla ✌ Good vibes received.

[@lexijackson4428]

I nurse my kid til 2.5 years old and I rarely covered in public especially when it’s hot out cuz we live in Texas and that’s so uncomfortable.

[@reason998]

I feel the same way! My baby girl is a little younger than yours, but when I went to the pediatrician for her 6 month appt, they asked me if I had any concerns about sleeping. I said "Um, she wakes up a couple of times during the night, but I'm not 'concerned' about it." I don't really mind nursing her back to sleep, and your the first mom I've heard say that same thing! Thanks 👍

[@heyshayla]

Right! What did the doctor say?

[@reason998]

@@heyshayla "ok!"

[@danaansell1383]

Love it

[@valisesgourmandises2571]

Pause is basically pronounced like pose, so "la pose" 😁 Baby sleep is such a tricky subject. We're mostly lucky and she will put herself to sleep but we always have days where it just won't work and then we have to put her in her Baby Björn until she's almost asleep and then transfer her. It's not ideal, but we all have to find what works for us as you said!

[@sarahroberts7374]

Great video & like you i am just gonna wing it! Im gonna be a single Mum to a little boy very very soon he will be here in less than 9 weeks am just gona go with the flow & be prepared to adapt! Also, love that top on you 😀👍! I cannot wait to get back into clothes like that 😀!!!!! 💕

[@heyshayla]

Ahhh congratulations!!! Snuggle the heck outta that babe.. if he’s into that sort of thing 😂😍🙌

[@GM2.0]

I agree with you, but did yoy come to a phase where your child had to go to creche? How did you prepare them for that? I'm currently going through this, and I found this video after crying myself out the whole day while listening to my baby cry. I cannot handle this CIO method and I don't know how other people can. My daughter will be going to creche soon though and I don't know how else to make her sleep independently.

[@colebelly]

i'd like to see an update on this video! my baby is 4 months old and the advice to "NOT breastfeed to sleep" haunts me because its what i do and what i like to do, but i feel like i shouldnt. Wondering how that progressed for you as your little one got older

[@heyshayla]

Check out my weaning videos. It honestly worked out perfectly until it didn’t. Then we adjusted. That’s it! Do what works :) FULL transparency she still cosleeps at almost two and wakes up a couple of times but that still works for us 🤷‍♀️

[@0osqueakso0]

I honestly hate hate hate this whole "sleep training" thing seriously. I dont mind if you sleep train, you do wth you want with your baby. BUT these tons of sleep training videos and courses really gives pressure on new parents, and make them think that a baby HAS to sleep through the night, if they dont then they're doing something wrong. Seriously its A BABY and there is NOTHING wrong with a baby not sleeping through the night, it is in fact perfectly NORMAL for a baby to wake up and not fall back to sleep on their own !

[@timberdoodle2]

When my baby was 6 months when we went back to daycare, she wouldn't take a bottle. We needed her to use a bottle because she would literally refuse to drink milk at daycare and then be up all night to nurse, which wasn't great for me. We introduced a straw cup and she took like a duck to water. I think the bottle nipple was just to similar.

[@marissas.2225]

We did do sleep training, my baby hated cuddling at two weeks old so she was crying herself to sleep in my arms or in her bed anyway. It worked for us. Breast feeding didn’t so now we’re on formula. Here to say you do you mama! I always say if everyone is getting sleep then you’re doing it right!

[@heyshayla]

Could not agree more!

[@alynnewenglnd]

Fret none - “Nurse-to-sleep” worked out THE best

[@noxolondlela8843]

Nurse is sooo relieving . . Im never worried about feeds . I just nurse my baby anytime anywhere .

[@nicoleandersen3411]

The hardest thing for me was I am a planner. I have an idea of how I want things and how they should go...motherhood quickly knocked me on my butt with that. Wanted to nurse, he wouldn't latch. D idnt want pacifier, one of the only things that he finds sleepy comfort in. Wanted go sleep train....big fail for we had a fussy baby that prefers to be sung to and rocked. Then as soon as things feel good and life gets easier for just a moment...4 month sleep regression. Same, new routine, life gets better, 6 month sleep regression...i don't know where it goes from here. We are currently in this stage. Basically any advice I've got is do not try and be a control freak, it rarely will go how you want so just make sure babies needs are met and that's the best you can do

[@Farmerk3547]

I nursed to sleep with my first until around 9 months he stopped going to sleep. I freaked out, he'd cry, I was so at a loss because I had no other tools for getting him to sleep, my magic boobs weren't working! We discovered a sleep training technique we were comfortable with and did it and we have no regrets. Of course my second sleep trained herself, she'd never fall asleep while nursing so I had to put her down awake, she never fussed, she was the easiest. Can't say I had anything to do with it though, it was all her. It's amazing how every baby is different and you change what you are or aren't willing to do. Nursing to sleep was great but can't imagine how I'd do it with second or third, I'm glad I had that experience with the first though.

[@ashb2404]

This is pretty much how it went with my first 2... It was all fine and good until they were hitting ages they should be able to fall asleep on their own lol... Which is different for everyone is say... But, both of mine got to where they'd lay down but I had to be in the room... I used to army crawl out of their rooms every night lol, it was a sight, after several failed attempts to just walk out like a normal person when I thought they were asleep... But, it did eventually work itself out, but it was a bit of a struggle. My son nursed way longer than my daughter did and he did not want to give it up, he knew exactly how to get to what he wanted... With this one coming in March, I do plan on attempting sleep training around 3 months, but not during any sleep regression periods... We shall see how it goes lol.

[@brenna533]

I have an 8 month old now and do the exact same sleep things- I am so curious to know where you are now with sleep!

[@heyshayla]

She’s a year and we bedshare and still peacefully nurse to sleep for naps and bed. Who knows how long that will last but... it’s working for now 🤷‍♀️ sometimes it’s stressful to be the one who can comfort her best. Blessing and a curse

[@gloriasilveira5332]

I’m a first-time mom on pregnancy week 37 and am so lost in this video…what even is “sleep training”? It sounds like someone’s trying to train a dog or something. Welp guess I’ll be googling this. 🧐

[@naomitrollopeillustration]

This is great to hear but I’m still so stuck. My baby sometimes wakes up like… 10-12 times throughout the night. On a good night it’ll be 4-5. We’re cosleeping because it gives me marginally more sleep. She does go back to sleep BF but does not just ‘pop-off’ the boob like other babies, she stays latched on while asleep so I can’t fall asleep with her latched on unless I want to wake up forty minutes later with sore nipples because she’s still half-latched. She won’t nap for longer than 40 minutes during the day… ever (no matter what I do). She scratches her ears to self soothe which is backwards AF because she hurts herself and wakes up! 😅 I’m trying to ‘go with the flow’ but also crying with exhaustion, I’ve literally tried EVERYTHING but sleep training (because I do not have the heart to do it). Posting this on here in case anyone has any advice… I’m desperate.

[@heyshayla]

I hired bedrocksleep.com to sleep train Aliya. I HIGHLY recommend. You do a free initial call with her to get an idea of what she would recomend so you can see if it’s a fit. I thought she was amazing and I can’t believe how well it worked. @Bedrocksleep on Instagram

[@naomitrollopeillustration]

@@heyshayla wow thank you SO much for your reply. I absolutely love your videos. Apologies for my rather desperate comment… I will definitely check her out. I’m confused tho, just to clarify - you said in this video you didn’t sleep train, but you hired a sleep trainer?

[@naomitrollopeillustration]

@@heyshayla I’ve just seen your testimony on her website which has clarified that for me - amazing! Thank you so much Shayla.

[@jodeemapoe9032]

I literally am struggling with finding what works for us. Bedtime is becoming so stressful for me.

[@heyshayla]

Oh no, I’m sorry!! It’s hard, if babe takes a bottle asking someone else to help some nights and then asking what worked for them is great! One night I sat in the room which Seth put her to sleep just to watch. He always did better and I learned a ton

[@ashleywells3274]

Have you tried a bedtime ‘routine’? Same every night and for naps too? We play white noise for our daughter and put her in her sleep sack, she instantly gets sleepy. She needs it completely black to sleep though so once it’s pitch black dark she knocks out all on her own. We never sleep trained just continued to do the same thing every day and eventually she took to it. She’s 6 months now and sleeps 11 hours in her own room

[@nonophat]

Yes! Thank you. Do what works for you... we as moms do not need to be bashing one another's choices. 99.99% of us love our babies to death and only want do do best for them. Let us support one another.

[@tiffanyp8951]

Hello ! I really like your Chanel and what you share. The only thing is that sometimes you speak suuuuuper fast. I’m French so English is not my mother language and sometimes I struggle a little. 😘

[@khy3946]

my daughter refuses to sleep away from me. We have to wait until she’s in deep sleep and even then she’ll most likely wake up crying for me ):

[@rebekahhilfiger5055]

Babies aren't supposed to sleep through the night it biologically doesn't make sense. I understand that some people need sleep training or it works for them, but we have this messed up idea in our society that babies should sleep like adults and it's just not possible!

[@brodyszone157]

My husband has a slow cooker cooking and the smell of the food has me so.sick I'm abt to throw it out the window ughhhh! I hate meat! I'm not a vegetarian but I am while I'm pregnant no by choice I just can't stand meat while pregnant.

[@heyshayla]

I was the opposite! I hardly ate meat before and after but during I wanted STEAK and hamburgers. So strange lol

[@TheHerothief]

Ive always liked your videos, and i still do, even though im not even close to having a baby. But now the algorith is going to think that i am 😂

[@PNWlover]

I agree so much with the easiness of breastfeeding... Whipping out the boob is just so much easier hahah

[@chloevallance9474]

Yes I love this 👍 my 3 year old still asks for boobie, but they are for baby sister now, unless he gets on them in the middle of the night 😂😂

[@jaclyn4098]

I was not sleep trained. My mom coddled me and co slept with me until I was way too old, and I developed severe anxiety as a child because of it, and I still have anxiety and insomnia as an adult. This doesnt happen to everyone, but it happened to me, so this is my word to others! In a similar vein, I know someone who never weaned her child off the pacifier, and shes 2 now and screams unless she has it.

[@mattcleech]

Watch some videos on parents who lost their child to SIDS. Cosleeping isn't safe. There's no reason for it.

[@heyshayla]

It’s how most of the world does it. Most babies don’t want to sleep alone