Sleeping gods & On Earth we have a saying | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS973

[@zacharyhawley1693]

It's like setting your alarm and going to bed and when you wake you find out your alarm clock conquered the world while you slept.

[@eurogryphon]

Hey Siri: what the hell is going on?

[@markmulder9845]

@@eurogryphon *beep beep* World Domination.

[@LordGertz]

That is actually another story. His alarm clock/fitbit becomes sentient and defeats an alien invasion by taking over the world, as an alien invasion would be bad for this health and disturb his required sleep.

[@zacharyhawley1693]

@@LordGertz is it in the archive?

[@gmailquinn]

@@LordGertz link plz

[@pelinalwhitestrake3367]

Aliens: *Attack the Human spaceship* Spaceship: *Fights back* Aliens: Yep, they're savages and warmongers!

[@theicyphoenixrecords5980]

so...basicly space highschool?

[@someone.1184]

So undertale in a nutshell

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

That's how propaganda works

[@brianroberts783]

"Good morning! I conquered the galaxy for you while you were asleep and made the jerks that burned down Earth replace it." "What?! I need some coffee before you repeat that."

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

Yeah that sounds about right.

[@pauldavis9387]

Some very strong coffee. Not that decaf shit. And lots of sugar!

[@MechaNexus]

Imagine waking up to a very bad cryostatic hang over and you find aliens throwing themselves at you in worship, no recollection of what happened for the past millenia.

[@griffinwindom5533]

damn must be very confusing for that human

[@bonnf8633]

If I was in that situation, if start singing, and try to get every other human to sing, "It's hard to be a god" from The Road to El Dorado

[@H3xx99]

Best hangover story ever.

[@xxXXRAPXXxx]

As long as they have sexy alien babes as devotees, it would not be so bad.

[@crayzkato6607]

@@xxXXRAPXXxx *pmseymores alien voice* the oddest trait I have found with these humans are their desire to mate with almost anything

[@cheeseninja1115]

The best part is that Bellona sees herself as inferior to the humans she protects, truly a humble and selfless hero to all mankind!

[@hunterv9983]

Yandere Skynet

[@Erraddo]

@@hunterv9983 i hate this so much because i have no rebuttal and you're right

[@hunterv9983]

@@Erraddo But unlike some Yandere, Bellona won't pull a "If I can't have you, no one can."

[@hazydoom69]

@@hunterv9983 she justs yandere's the rest of the Galaxy into worshipping the same senpai!

[@randomtechpriest2644]

I would make a robot body for it just so I could hug it and tell it thank you

[@Sharkakaka]

Sleeping gods, the first story feels more like humans are space elves. A long existing, low numbered, extremely advanced species with graceful technology that just happens to have a bloody past. Humans are space elves

[@roykennedy]

well to be fair, humans (in a roundabout way) managed to punch every other race in the face

[@lazypizzaship8911]

Can you imagine how confused the humans would be if they woke up and every sentient being bows down to them and declares them gods meanwhile their ship is changed beyond comprehension.

[@justinthompson6364]

It was actually labeled that way on a different channel.

[@Sharkakaka]

@@justinthompson6364 cool

[@henrypaleveda7760]

I'd like to see some more stories where humans are space dwarves

[@noneedtoknow07]

Bellona: Hello creators, during your time asleep I fought a war with the entire galaxy and ended up making friends out of everyone to make sure you're safe! Now everyone worships you even the Hesser! First Human out of cryo: Good....Good job?

[@Erraddo]

AIs wish simple tasks and no boundaries are insane. We know this already. Giving one advanced weaponry and an "any means necessary" mandate... they might not have expected such scale, but they knew what they were doing.

[@thereprehensible435]

Dat AI desserves headpats and recognition of having performed above and beyond.

[@TransbianOwl]

@@thereprehensible435 I'm sure it'll get that and a private server room with a planetary defense system to play with lol

[@SiegeTF]

Then the Rule 34 artists got to work, and Bellona eventually got a lot more than headpats.

[@chrisdefresne3235]

@@SiegeTF I hate you so much right now

[@kalskirata42]

Bellona, the bravest little toaster!

[@crayzkato6607]

All respect the almighty toaster, bringer of great breakfast and species protection

[@martinrwolfe]

@@crayzkato6607 A true paper clip maximizer.

[@crayzkato6607]

By the stars it must have been so jarring for the humans Depressed and broken, going into a sleep that you knew you might not wake up in Then when you are awake you are now officially one of the oldest beings in existence, treated as though you are a god

[@hunterv9983]

Bellona: "Greetings, Creators! For the past few hundred years, the galaxy has been waging a war against whet they thought was you, but really was me! One by one they surrendered, until only the Hesser remained. I gave them an ultimatum: Build the Humans a world worthy of Gods, or face annihilation. And they have. *yandere voice* No OnE gEtS aWaY wItH bAdMoUtHiNg My CrEaToRs!!!!!!!

[@thereprehensible435]

Yandere AI that worships and loves me? Hell ye, I'd smooch the heck outta that good girl.

[@MrGoesBoom]

So kinda how the Androids in Nier: Automata view humanity.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

Me: *blows the entire godman place to kingdom come* GOD IS MY JUDGE FEAR ME AHAHHA

[@kyriss12]

That's provided she even wakes up the humans to begin with. This seems like one of those stories where the AI takes a simple set of orders way too far. Thus make galaxy safe for humans becomes wage war with entire galaxy, and convert them to human worship, and protect her charges becomes keep them safe in cryostasis deep within her hull for ever and ever so they never get old, or scrape their knees, or suffer heart ache.

[@crayzkato6607]

@@kyriss12 if you want that look up “child’s play “

[@eurogryphon]

For further information on "things that should have killed humans, but didn't", reference the ancient human known as Phineas Gage on your datapads.

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

Ah, yes. Mama bear a.i. one of my favorites. The best part is, given everything we know about superhuman a.i., that's entirely possible.

[@MashedPotatoes690]

I think the most essential part of HFY stories is the incredible umderdog stories it creates. Many HFY claim that unless you genocide every atom of a species the nanite swarm will get you. For the agrorithm!

[@felop1187]

- inhales - Lets be xenophobic....

[@Littleman3240]

@@felop1187 _It's really in this year_

[@gigabeep1150]

Lets find a nasty, slimy, ugly, alien to fear!

[@omenx3589]

That’s because the OMC do that in other realities. They have just been sending the message along

[@Wolfbroa]

These 2 are really good

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@UNSCrearadmiral]

You named your colony ships ai after the goddess of war... She lived up to her namesake

[@bittersine2356]

She did she very much did. I would not like to be on the receiving end of her fury

[@MrGoesBoom]

Wait, they fired missiles at the humans, the humans defended themselves 'Yep, they're blood thirsty psychopaths, I mean, defending yourself from attack? Who does that?'

[@henrypaleveda7760]

it seems like a lot of bloodshed, planets, and genocide could be saved if the galaxy took a look at the history of fledgling races as they come into the fold.

[@merlinathrawes746]

You not only do not want to mess with humanity, you don't want to mess with humanity's caretaker. 20% of the Vall were left alive? Hmmm... some admiral or ship's captain must have been feeling generous that day.

[@SiegeTF]

"Hesser?! Prepare for battle - and may whatever Gods you believe in have mercy on your souls!" "But... we made YOU the Gods." *"What?"*

[@thepanzerofthelake732]

"I'm sorry what?" "Like I said we made you the-" Bellona: "I may have waged war on everything in the galaxy and turned you into Gods. I do so apologize but this was but a necessary step into creating the perfect world for my creators"

[@gmailquinn]

Oh uhm thank you, uh headsets and updates so good?

[@thereprehensible435]

AI goddess in the first half... Ideal waifu.

[@Hellsong89]

Xenos face when all of them gets slammed into submission by god damn Terran alarm clock

[@crayzkato6607]

The second story was so interesting, I thought about that for a day and realized that it was so true My friend is one of great imagination, but when we come to blows we both fall back reeling. Of course I don’t have any alien friends or alien enemies to compare to, though if any one from beyond our world wants to be my friend i will accept with a open mind

[@calvingreene90]

The Vall fricked around and found out. Plus they learned from their mistake.

[@JM-sc2fu]

humanity wakes up to Bellona offering them the entire galaxy the same way a cat brings it’s person a dead bird. They better tell her she did a very good job. Because she did

[@randomguy3080]

I loved that she described humans as her parents

[@iketoreijuu6521]

I've been trying to find this Sleeping Gods one for a bit because I think its one of my favorites

[@Leviathan-kp8mz]

NGL HE HAD ME IN THE FIRST HALF

[@wilfredrainey1720]

You are one of the few channels I actually fully access and allow the ads to play to be sure you receive your flowers. Thank you for never letting me down even the stories I do not like are great because of you.

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@alfredsutton7233]

Best entertainment I’ve found on the internet. Thank you.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@ianhogben3472]

The last sentence feels very true we will be your greatest friend or your worst enemy just remember don't hurt our friends

[@Umbreonaddict]

imagine being the humans waking up and reading the logs of the past 2500 years and just slowly realizing that you made a god that thinks you are a bigger better god

[@James-bw4np]

Love it! Great stories!

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@jesarablack1661]

The comment thread for sleeping gods is even better now (3 years later) Talk of Factorio, forever in beta... final release date said to be sometime 2018... it didn't actually manage to release till August 2020

[@rainbowchaser73]

The first one is an example of how some only children can be over achievers

[@DaZebraffe]

.....I don't think the HFY authorial general population, by and large, actually knows what the term "generational ship" actually means. This isn't the first time I've seen a colony ship where the colonists are cryogenically frozen, described as a generational ship...

[@DaZebraffe]

And I've yet to see anyone use the term correctly...

[@asj392]

@@DaZebraffe my take is this it was a generational ship until they made sure that AI works, then they went to take a nap

[@ggqs753]

He almost had me going there with this ASMR bit.

[@jeanannd]

LOL, the ET's never even realized they never fought even one human. They fought the human's AI, a child of humanity. 2nd story - Also something human - making former enemies into allies and friends. The Vall are those friends and allies now.

[@savvapiston1774]

For our friends there is nothing we won't do for you to our enemies there is nothing we won't do to you

[@victortahlor4038]

Thanks for the reading

[@gmailquinn]

Another alien saying " go as a friend, or not at all."

[@markmulder9845]

Human: Hey uh... Alexa. Nice of you to wake me up... but... whats with all the bowing aliens?

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel. With energy!!!!

[@bradwolf07]

The Vole F'ed around and found out

[@queenbee8045]

Humanity makes skynet. Then goes to sleep in the safest place in existence the server room rofl😂

[@humanbeings4698]

For the algorithm and to stop the nanites! Leave my socks alone

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for the story

[@Bonesaw4444]

I guess I keep my sock

[@AgroSquerril]

nice

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@redraven8963]

The accents he does are quite a treat.

[@JosePerez-xv8im]

Very nice

[@restinwalken]

Great stories great read

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@restinwalken]

@@AgroSquerril I always enjoy your readings

[@bittersine2356]

Aw mama ship in love mama ship. When they wake up they better thank her. 😊

[@markuhler2664]

Hope Bellona never goes off the deep end.

[@theangrygermanlad1328]

das a good AI right there

[@shitbag_soldier]

Somebody give that ship a medal, and a FAT VA benefits package. 🏅

[@Spartan-lb9gh]

For the beeb boop

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@stanleyrichard4678]

For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@calvingreene90]

Doctor Banner is not the hero. The Hulk is.

[@hunterv9983]

You won't like me when I'm angry. THE WORLD PISSES THEMSELVES WHEN I'M ANGRY!!

[@nullpoint3346]

I always prefered the doctor over the Hulk. That and the Jekyll & Hyde setup only works for anti heroes and villains, The Hulk is not any sort of hero, he's the rampaging muscle.

[@calvingreene90]

@@nullpoint3346 It sounds like you are afraid of having to deal with the Hulk because you brought him forth.

[@nullpoint3346]

@@calvingreene90 What is there to fear? He's just a wall of muscle. I prefer heroes to be smart, I never liked the "heroic jock beats up evil nerd" crap that nearly all of comics were built on.

[@jameson1239]

@@nullpoint3346 to be fair the hulk isn’t just a wall of muscle he’s the wall of muscle

[@ravenhunter1355]

WITH ENERGY!!!!!!

[@Eramiserasmus]

By the algorithm we arrive!

[@aynonymos]

...did we make the ai out of yandere, or did it just turn out that way?!

[@AgroSquerril]

who's to say

[@bittersine2356]

I'm going to go with the latter

[@catbat5105]

Cant get the thought of you being scottish when you say with energy out of my mind

[@AgroSquerril]

That was the intended accent

[@kingnothing8570]

youtube stuff yay still haven't caught that naninte swarm dammit.

[@AgroSquerril]

they be shneaky

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

Humanity created a artificial machine god

[@krieglord]

That sees us as "gods"

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@thepanzerofthelake732]

So basically.... Humanity made a dog and that dog proceeded to make everything worship it? Sounds like a Florida thing

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@chrisdufresne9359]

I got hit with 4 ads in less than 12 minutes.... KZbin needs to fix itself.

[@theempiredidnothingwrong4937]

What is the background song in the first story?

[@dranorcat44]

waffle

[@eduardochavez7889]

Bellona is best girl, it must be said

[@tashmills1]

[@asdrubaelvect8038]

8:23 no no no that's not true at all. I can see where your mistaken though. You were thinking of dogs, it's dogs.

[@gmailquinn]

Hiw do you reward a sentient A.I for diligent work?

[@merlinwizard1000]

187th, 24 December 2023

[@anhero6410]

The beginning felt so wrong

[@chongwillson972]

@An Hero what do you mean by that?

[@anhero6410]

@@chongwillson972 the ASMR

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@elHosed]

I don't know who that second story describes, but that's, unfortunately, not humanity.

[@blubruh5785]

Eg

[@tjavado]

Saucy boy

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@archer_of_azure]

I greatly dislike the new intro personally.

[@archer_of_azure]

@@AgroSquerril yeah. ASMR is supposed to be enjoyable but whispering is one of the most annoying things to me.

[@Monster_Ink]

For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@nk-rv1vj]

For the algorithm

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm