Retirement & What Humanity Saw | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS975

[@Theminecraftian772]

"We went to space, and found nothing for a while, and then we found god!" "Oh, so you've decided to join our church?" "No, I mean, God is a really tan looking dude enjoying his golden years of immortality, making planets, art, and people."

[@GabrielHellborne]

Really, some hyper-advanced bored dude could easily be our god. Or Dad. Or whatever. We're not that big and special....yet.

[@t.j.7347]

@@GabrielHellborne what, dad’s need a break from work sometimes

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

@@GabrielHellborne just be happy they met that . . . Moms name is Karen and tried to take dads project when they split out of spite.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@GabrielHellborne any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic and any sufficiently powerful magic is indistinguishable from divinity. If we are the product of some hyper advanced civilisation, I'd like to think that we are some form of hands off terraforming equipment, that got slightly corrupted.

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 that or the half finished project of some guys retirement.

[@shadowhenge7118]

1) we're in The Sims but the player just likes the building aspect. 2) Stoners write HFY too, ya know.

[@GrimpakTheMook]

still dude, mfkin' DRAGONS

[@Techischannel]

1st is basicaly me when playing the sims. I give my sim a job, set them on high independance and then just build and design. From the sims view ... a house is growing and changing in thier neighbourhood. Like some kind of beneficial SCP that, once its done, starts with the next house. Then the next, and then the next.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

Yeah, the author of the second one messed up slightly, they needed to add three more lines, so the last part could have been "The book of humanity, 69:4-20"

[@Amongusaurus]

And god looked at what humanity did and said "that was pretty cool"

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

God’s flexing his 3 day long creation on humanity

[@krel7160]

@@craftysmithkeith3653 "I did this in 3 days, now I want to see what you do! Just don't touch that fruit." 'we touched the fruit' "Congratulations, you passed the tutorial, now get out."

[@samuelevans738]

@@krel7160 X million years later... Humans: We're back! God: ...Why? Humans: we're hungry, and the fruit was delicious. Got any more?

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@samuelevans738 given how spite is one of the greatest motivators of all time, I think it would be less us asking, and more kicking his door in, pointing an anti-deity gun at his forehead and demanding he hand over the source code for the universe.

[@crwlermadsin1191]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 Then he might say "Gotcha", turn to the big red lever that was definitely on the wall this whole time, and pull it to open the trapdoor beneath our feet.

[@robertschumacher2707]

As a programmer friend once said, 'I believe the universe is just an immensely complex simulation. All I want is 5 minutes with the source code and a quick recompile.'

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@Allantitan]

And a bit of help fixing the “bugs” in the source code causing things like cancer and disease…..and the bug that causes people to do horrible things to each other Edit: oh and to make it so kids are immortal up to a certain age

[@kaliascythes2454]

@@Allantitan I feel like that would probably have very bad side effects ie cancer results from damaged dna (as far as I am aware) I have a feeling wars will be fought with child soldiers due to their immortality and humans would probably kill themself without anger and bad emotions

[@novastar6112]

@@kaliascythes2454 You have morbid thoughts. Yeesh.

[@kaliascythes2454]

well i mean if everyone was immortal but wars were still fought with humans wouldn't we be likely use child or bred soldiers for that task as we wouldnt want to sacrifice someone thousands of years old to war? and if we could come back from death people might be unreserved when it comes to violence as nobody really actually gets "hurt" would they?

[@bobsterclause342]

That 'dad' was still paying our rent. Every story almost has it's golden nuget or full blown gold bar.

[@calvingreene90]

I hope the engineers that created the dragons were smart enough to not make the dragons lust after our mothers.

[@Amyante]

Nope, just young maidens from the local village.

[@XxTaiMTxX]

it's humanity. We built the dragons to lust after all of us. Because our typical first thought when we encounter a new species? "Can I sleep with it?" We are a strange race, and I hope we never change, because it is endlessly amusing.

[@ravenouself4181]

@@XxTaiMTxX I mean... it would be nice if we can stop destroying Earth for once.

[@kurtismiller9544]

Wow story one... Wake up call for that race...plus a push to actually think outside the box. Story two let there be.... DRAGONS!

[@Crazylom]

Arrival of dragons one way or another is inevitable, as it is due to our nature

[@AgroSquerril]

Dragons!

[@erushi5503]

Dragons!!

[@logangraham2956]

@@Crazylom i would not be surprised if we eventually create dragons in a lab or something. because really there is nothing stopping from from existing other then simple they have not evolved into existence. even their fire breathing is technically possible using methane gases which are produced in the digestion of biological matter, they'd just have to store the methane somehow for later usage as fire breath. flying might be the biggest hurdle depending on their size. also ... they'd have 6 limbs if they had wings so... would that classify them as insect XD.

[@georgeemme4483]

i would definitely like a full "Book of Humanity" please

[@KroMagnum4]

Lol when I retired a few years ago that's just what I did. Built a greenhouse in my backyard. Can't do dragons yet though😁

[@revengeneutral8164]

Don't bother they burn everything and you wouldn't believe the sheer amount of shit.

[@J0hnB09]

@@revengeneutral8164 also they collect *EVERYTHING* that is even a tiny bit shiny or metallic.

[@knightgeland4987]

The second story is just the Bible 2: Electric Boogaloo

[@elitecompany1019]

Make us some Mfing dragons! 😂

[@Allantitan]

Uplifting dogs cats fish and than making dragons….yeah sounds about right 😂

[@skyfan98]

If the nanite swarms steal my other sock then it saves me from having an unmatched pair

[@xtime3542]

But then if they steal your other other sock you’ll be back at square one with one less pair of socks

[@GenStallion]

GASP!!! You actually said the F word, at the end instead of substituting it. Its about time.

[@ninekindzo3569]

I'll bet a trinket that Agro hits 20k by the end of the month... For the algorithm!🖖✌

[@jacobgutwill7802]

What Do you mean with 20k doesnt He have like 500k already?

[@jacobgutwill7802]

....... Yeah no forget what i just said

[@ninekindzo3569]

@@jacobgutwill7802 what did I tell you about fuckin' around with time travel?! Now look at what you've gone and done... Damn time travelers, time-jumpin' around with their fancy time gadgets, forgetting when they are, causing weird butterfly effects and shit... So, does this mean you won't be taking me up that bet? 😜🖖✌

[@jacobgutwill7802]

@@ninekindzo3569 nö i wont mate sorry

[@jacobgutwill7802]

@@ninekindzo3569 and i dont know what you are talking about with time travel, such mediocre bullshit

[@beingsneaky]

Dragons ARE fricking awesome.

[@rayzorwood905]

I had to listen to this three fricking times to be sure I wasn't mistaken, and that this was actually the first time I've fricking heard our dear narrator not frick around about how fucking awesome Dragons are.

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

GOODEST BOYS.

[@AgroSquerril]

yarp

[@randomrant3886]

Book of Humanity verse 13 is awesome!

[@UNSCrearadmiral]

Nav officer is just looking for "dad's" password to his personal stash

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo Story 1: So God is a science fiction writer, apparently Story 2: And in this case, a fantasy writer

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@prestonboord4873]

Love the storys man keep it up

[@kennethhummel4409]

Let’s make some Dragons!!!

[@A.Couteaud]

Jokes on you, I'm already wearing mismatched socks.

[@AgroSquerril]

variety , should keep the swarm happy

[@samuelevans738]

@@AgroSquerril does the swarm accent donations? I have a lot of socks that are too small, but also stretched out a bit.

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@user-zv6th8fh8v]

Where are parrots? Where did you hid crows? And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting just above my chamber door; So pets Shall be uplifted Nevermore!

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@thunderbird4636]

Wow God is so.... Not what I pictured but exactly like I pictured. And that last one was fucking perfect.

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed

[@danijellino1921]

If we uplift every animal we got and create Dragons and shit you better supersize them and make it so they can live in the Void. I want my Space Whales/Dragons damm you.

[@jameswhite8133]

14 And then some basement dwelling weeb with a noticably bigger right arm crawled out of his dungeon and giggled while saying a single word "C-Catgirls..." 15 Humanity shrugged, pondering the question, then finally stating "yeah why not? Hans, Lassie, Tom, Bruce, Shamo, Nemo, Dory, Smaug, Blue Eyes White Dragon, let's make anime real!" And thus, anime became real, but still didn't want to talk to basement dwelling neckbeards.

[@erushi5503]

That's basically my vision of the one above, its nice that im not the only one that views him as such

[@Eramiserasmus]

Reminder that nanites swarms don't return socks.

[@jdtheone]

I like to listen while I clean house and I'm running out of things to clean 🤣👍👍

[@AgroSquerril]

nice

[@Hellsong89]

2nd You can clearly see points where humans enjoyed more than just social trust... Never ever let Keltech engineers anywhere near bioengineering tools and since its humanity, dont let anyone that has been anyway in contact with the keltech engineers near the bioengineering tools.

[@5peciesunkn0wn]

Fuck yeah! My story! :D glad so many people enjoyed the shitpost.

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed , thank you for the permission

[@rainsbloom939]

I was waiting for something really deep and philosophical in the second one but I’m not complaining that I didn’t get that

[@KatrinaLeFaye]

Okay, Dune was being told by the Imperial Historian Princess Irulan Corrino Atreides, so of course the Bene Gesserit should be playing a major role in the first story of Dune. The Fremen were down played, and for the most part the Princess being left without touch would be bitter against Chani in particular down playing important parts of the history, aka the book Dune. Jessica was a traitor to the Sisterhood in giving birth to Paul, so she too would be seen in less than the most positive light. The Imperial Historian wrote the story, but was denied her place and upbringing in Paul's reign. Yes, females play a massive role both in the shadows, and front and center. Chani was not only brought up as a child of Dune but also an Annointed Sayyadina at the same time as Jessica, she killed Paul's challengers as they were not worthy of even facing him in combat. I am apparently the only person not seeing the SJW, sexist, racist, or whatever aspects of this movie. I will say that the Dune book, even Lynch's version come from the point of view of the Imperial Historian Irulan's telling of the story. I very much doubt there would be mention of colors of skin from a Bene Gesserit who knew anything about the breeding program and the selected breeding between various Houses to create a genetic Kwisatz Hadarach under control of the Sisterhood and stabilizing the Houses themselves politically at the same time. I am going to tune out and go back to sleep, I think you have been a bit more negative than usual even acknowledging the haters. Since you reference the end of the book so often remember Imperial Historian, Bene Gesserit, Princess Irulan Corrino Atreides was the one telling the story of Dune and the rest of the books through her lifetime and up to God Emperor of Dune. "We must obey the forms. Yet that princess shall have no more of me than my name. No child of mine nor touch nor softness of glance, nor instant of desire.” “So you say now,” Chani said. She glanced across the room at the tall princess. “Do you know so little of my son?” Jessica whispered. “See that princess standing there, so haughty and confident. They say she has pretensions of a literary nature. Let us hope she finds solace in such things; she’ll have little else.” A bitter laugh escaped Jessica. “Think on it, Chani: that princess will have the name, yet she’ll live as less than a concubine-never to know a moment of tenderness from the man to whom she’s bound. While we, Chani, we who carry the name of concubine-history will call us wives.” " is the end of the text of Dune.

[@reginaldbull4922]

Thx but wtf?!? How do you connect Arakis with here???

[@KatrinaLeFaye]

@@reginaldbull4922 LMAO! Apparently it got stuck on wrong video, or I assume so, it has been a while.

[@KatrinaLeFaye]

@@reginaldbull4922 that or it is April Fool's day and youtube is going in.

[@fungigp7692]

That second story though.

[@sadmoth7884]

Who/what stole my first sock??

[@slk7376]

Nanomachines, son!

[@ninekindzo3569]

He's right. I seent'it!...🖖✌

[@lagartijo97]

@@slk7376 they've taken so many of my socks!! I've lost count at 30

[@silence___]

Me I ate it

[@Firesgone]

The gremlins took that one!

[@GabrielHellborne]

These were clever. I like these.

[@aname3543]

Yes

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@WiredTurkey316]

I could be puttering in my garden. But instead I'm watching KZbin videos

[@johnathanstephenson8107]

Universal "Dad" & "Dragons are cool!" Love it! :D

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@OldieBugger]

Whales gave up their legs long ago, willingly. There's no reason to make them landlubbers again.

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@AgroSquerril]

Kept going

[@IRMentat]

I mena, meeting god is nice and all but MF DRAGONS? I want into THAT universe. I also know a few people who wouldn't mind some unicorn variants as well.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@skyrere]

XD That was fun. I love this story.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@kerwinbrown4180]

Liked the first story.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@johnjohnjohnson7720]

Maybe I should stop stealing the socks that the Nanites use as they seem to be stealing other peoples socks.

[@nirvok3616]

I would agree with #13

[@fluttershyisnotadoormat4678]

it was really f**king awesome XD

[@ravenouself4181]

Yes, Dragons are awesome. Anyone that disagrees shall be fed to the chimpanzees.

[@additiveartificer9365]

Hmmm Prevalent instent of scaly....

[@merlinathrawes746]

So the universe is just a VR simulation program that we all live in. Asian or Western dragons? It makes a difference.

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@pheonexking1218]

FUCK YEA you better beileve we gon make dogs and cats sapient and make dragons.

[@Bonesaw4444]

The nanites!

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@beingsneaky]

story number 2.. what about the monkeys, apes and orangutans?? I would hav thought humanity would have went the easy route first in uplifting?

[@Monster_Ink]

That was the best! X,D For the Algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@StoneChip6597]

These are so cool

[@austink4712]

Nemu agro? Come on its Nee mo

[@davidatkinson47]

Stories of science fiction religion for the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@TNT_Golem]

How do you pronounce Nemo wrong?

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@lindaorr1805]

Dragons are or were real they are called dinosaurs. The term dinosaur was not invented until around 1750 or 1840 A.D

[@iljastalberg5610]

Oooo Matrix funny funny

[@asandrewsilvaw]

Forgot the algorithm

[@hughgordon6435]

Fta ,ftdv, and for bob

[@oatesi]

You can boost your views by using the community feature, maybe do some votes on youtube or updates or something.

[@AgroSquerril]

i do one at least once a week

[@oatesi]

@@AgroSquerril oh cool, didnt realise because it hasnt shown up on my feed yet, sorry man.

[@oatesi]

@@AgroSquerril quick question, were you the guy on the royal road forums talking about reading the stories?

[@AgroSquerril]

@@oatesi Yup

[@alfredsutton7233]

Not the nannites, please, not the nannites! All hail the algorithm, five words minimum.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm nom nom

[@ODST626]

This is nearly identical to another stoey except it was aliens. Otherwise literal same story. Dono which one came first

[@Valeomega1996]

*laughs in socks only being similar pairs* Go ahead nanites do your worst.

[@nk-rv1vj]

for the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@joshums5800]

Deep down I think your Irish. But I honestly want to know if your irish lol.

[@merlinwizard1000]

168th, 4 July 2023

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm