let's talk about 'that girl' 🌿🥒🍱🍵

[@Beeoog]

It’s interesting that even though “that girl” is all about being your best self, it’s super formulaic. Like, they all look the same, do the same things, have similar jobs.

[@kateb2643]

Yeah, "some girl" would be a better descriptor. The whole vibe is just extremely busy, yet non-descript woman. Baffling aspiration.

[@SimplyBeautifull]

They're killing creativity.

[@felix_a_fiend]

@@SimplyBeautifull that’s because creative people tend to lack and hate patterns in their lives

[@NotHere4ThisShip]

That Girl, fka "Basic B1tch". Omg, so much damn white?! And no hobbies. Zero hobbies. Working out could be a hobby, if you lean into it instead of making a just a part of your day!

[@xxxxxxxxx1652]

exactly. and if ur not like "them" ur "slacking off or getting distracted" lol. as if i was born to follow a fucking routine every day of watching chloe ting and drinking iced lattes. this trend made me more depressed than anything lol.

[@corrienotcorey]

my husband is "that girl" minus filming anything. He does everything that "that girl" does. A typical morning routine is waking up at 4:30am, exercising, either lifting or yoga, then a smoothie, showering, breakfast and then reading. He starts work (at home) at 6 in the morning so it does make sense to wake up early. He eats healthy, he loves to cook, he journals when he can. He even has mantras. He was in therapy. He is so "that girl" without even knowing it existed. He is my girl boss lmao

[@corrienotcorey]

@@mother3434 omg thank you youre so kind!

[@CultruralSchizo]

All he needs now is a 10 step skin care routine . Seriously though, I admire the consistency and discipline that lifestyle required. Kudos

[@stephaniev7382]

😂😂😂😂 nice

[@nathansykes0714]

I love that for him AND you! Sending good vibes and positive energy your way!

[@shafffffff]

Oh nice to hear that, best wishes for you two! ❤

[@yarenxo670]

‘Being that girl is yet again another wellness girl boss trend which is directed at women to buy stuff and work’ summed it up perfectly.

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

Yup... The day consumerism isn't at the center of our entertainment and goals is pretty far

[@brennam954]

Yup, and it reinforces unrealistic body standards (because only small women will get that praise) as well as racialized beauty standards. Nothing new.

[@Beeoog]

The commodification of wellness is so fucking sad. Like we're all trying to feel better, be better. People and companies using insecurities and that need to live a better quality of life in order to sell us shit and market a "brand" is so damn depressing.

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

@@Beeoog totally agree 😞

[@melw9147]

Late stage capitalism

[@koirasikin]

It's so weird that everything gets turned into an aesthetic or a trend. Everyone should have some type of daily routine, try to eat more fruits and vegetables whenever possible, workout etc. But not do that for the sake of a trend or aesthetic, just do for one's own well-being.

[@kaushy]

Exactly babes

[@losermillie]

My issue with this is I don’t care about myself enough to do that. But if I give myself a goal of being that girl for a week I’m more likely to do it. Hopefully one day I’ll be at a point where I will do things for myself alone but for now I’m just not there

[@tadiwa9297]

For real

[@justrachel4496]

I think aesthetics can be a tool to help find the motivation to do something. Just imagine how much work the average person who celebrates Christmas puts into it every year, for example. Doing even one of the things one does for Christmas probably feels like too much effort at any other time, but it becomes doable over the holidays because it's part of the package deal of Christmas. "That girl" or "cottagecore" or "goth" can be used the same way to help reach goals.

[@harrypike5140]

Most of it is just because of social media imo. if social media didn't exist then people wouldn't feel the need to constantly document their lives for likes and views and validation. People would just exist and do positive habits like they always have done.

[@kirag9509]

I think this trend becomes toxic when “that girl” tries to sell their lifestyle to their followers. Like instead of it just being the best version of themselves, they’ll try to profit off their aesthetic by trying to sell it to other people

[@Grateful.knits99]

Yes. Precisely

[@anniem251]

The very definition of an influencer

[@unknowns78]

I don't understand how this becomes toxic

[@arizonatea9434]

@@unknowns78 literally. mfs will record and make a living from their lifestyle and ppl get insecure bc it’s not THEIR lifestyle 💀

[@sydneygraham1470]

Fr some of the best things you can do to cultivate wellness are free. You don't need pastel work out clothes, a 20 step skin care routine, or a fridge full of whole foods to be whatever "that girl" is

[@Lifelover992011]

As someone who regularly wakes up at 3:30 am for work I'd like to encourage people to sleep as much as they can. Sleep is great, it's warm and comfy. Get a nice cute stuffy or person to cuddle and it's even better.

[@anirose25]

📝 steal person, got it

[@inspiredby624]

The key to making a "that girl" routine work is to be an influencer. Even someone who's self-employed usually won't have hours of free time everyday to spend on wellness. But the several hour long morning routine magically becomes feasible when you can also make it your work day by monetizing it...

[@dog771]

yes! being "that girl" literally IS their work, so of course they can spend all their time/energy/resources on it. otherwise it's just not feasible, cause it's a full-time commitment.

[@NotHere4ThisShip]

This!

[@haleymist09]

Oooh that's the answer! I thought when I worked from.home it would all fall together, but I still have meetings so - no. Lol

[@Smile-ni9nc]

The best take I have seen her in the comments

[@Laura-gd4ku]

Exactly being "that girl" is their good damn job. It always reminds me of my mom, everytime the show like "older" hollywood stars and how good they look like in their age, my mom always says "well they dont work anything and can work out the whole day". And yes she is right. For us people being burned down in jobs, care work and financial worries, we dont have time for that shit.

[@sophiav2994]

I think that the feminine urge to belong in a concept ( being a "that girl", "vsco girl", "egirl" ) says a lot about how society expect women to be

[@joeyjojos5839]

I always found it weird when people made fun of vsco girls. Weren't their defining features like, wearing oversized tee shirts and owning hydroflasks?

[@sophiav2994]

@@joeyjojos5839 lmfao yeah, but im not criticizing them tho

[@joeyjojos5839]

@@sophiav2994 Oh no not at all! I just remember people making fun of them and I never understood why.

[@Paula-zt9ol]

True. Why can’t we all just be our own unique, individual, fabulous women? Why do we have to fit a trendy aesthetic?

[@kaypat23]

This message resonates with me. They want women to be put together, casual, edgy and sultry all at the same time.

[@valentinecore]

imo, the “that girl” trend is just another way to encourage incredibly high standards for women that actually end up encouraging stress and constantly working/micromanaging your life

[@dani-888]

!!!

[@Evermorereads]

Exactly and as soon as you rest or get off the hamster wheel or even get a bit behind in your schedule you feel like a failure.

[@saharakarri6011]

i also believe it causes stress when people feel like they can’t live up to the “it girl” standards, and to some people (like me lol) going to the gym every day is just not realistic and i actually hate working out. I think it should be focusing on living a healthy lifestyle that actually works for you instead of following a lifestyle that doesn’t.

[@cashmereglow7549]

This!!!! Meanwhile, most guys are unhygienic, entitled, socially inept mama's boys who think they're Paul Walker or some other objectively attractive successful man. These men aren't in abundance with the way you'd think girls and women are modifying themselves excessively. I personally cook nutritious meals, exercise, and take care of myself for ME. However, it would be nice if most guys also liked eating healthy and taking care of themselves.

[@annapruitt5546]

@antjbiotics yes girl it is totally okay and you are more than good enough. Putting so much pressure on yourself will only make you feel worse and stressed. And shit, why should anyone wake up that early unless they really have to? I know some people love mornings and waking up early, but I am absolutely am NOT. I never have been a morning person. I forced myself to do it throughout high school and now as an adult, I’ve arranged my life to avoid early mornings as much as possible. Lol I can still be a productive, successful person even if I sleep in or whatever. Some things might not work for you and that’s okay. You don’t need to focus on what you “should” be doing, comparing yourself to others. You need to find out what does work for you.

[@fridakahlo4225]

That girl's morning routine looks like the American Psycho's opening scene.

[@malouj7932]

The og influencer

[@taylor2602]

i have never seen those expanding foam mirrors and i can’t believe people ruined perfectly good mirror frames

[@brbgfyb695]

They’re not really ruined since it’s made from insulation foam, they can take the cast off and the mirror should be fine

[@twiggledowntown3564]

I've never even heard of them, till now.

[@zeze1257]

literally ! i had never heard of them until now but god they are hideous

[@sydnerxx]

I had no idea they existed, such an ugly thing

[@achylliesthewarrior]

They are SO ugly! And the crazy thing was watching interior design channels on KZbin pretending it looked like anything other than garbage on a mirror. It was AWFUL!

[@JB-nk1gn]

My partner's sister is a 'that girl' and when we all lived together she would be so controlling over the time anyone else could use the bathroom or kitchen because she was obsessed with her routine. Spending hours in the bathroom doing skin care, hair care, not letting anyone in to use the toilet. She constantly threw out whole closets of clothes to keep up with clothing trends and new gym wear, was very wasteful and hypocritical. She scoffed at anyone else's needs, or style if it didn't her aesthetic, like us just existing was a hugggeee inconvenience to her. It was so stressful and her judgement/harshness when it came to appearance and diet made me really anxious about cooking/eating/being around her. She totally walked around with the 'Be Kind' tote bags, but at home was horrible/nasty to everyone including her own mum. It is ironic because as a 'that girl' you're 'supposed' to be independent and take responsibility, but she blamed everyone else but herself when she didn't get her way. She looks exactly like every other 'that girl' (slicked middle parting, low bun, gym wear, puffer jacket, scrunchies, airpods, white clothes) so now whenever I'm walking about, and there's 'that girl' s walking around my chest beats so fast with anxiety. I'd do anything to NOT be 'that girl', because I'd rather be a person thats genuinely kind& supportive, rather than for a superficial lifestyle oriented around products and image.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Hmm.I wonder what would happen if multiple girls in the same household were trying to be "that girl"? I don't think that's mentioned often....

[@Beenutbutter99]

@@DrawciaGleam02 I'm sure it's only a matter of time before there's a reality show about a bunch of 20 somethings who wanna be "that girl" living together and having a borderline turf war

[@iloveazaeliabanks]

my sister is kind of like this she is one of those people who ppst stuff on their stories that are like ‘be yourself’ or ‘treat people with kindness’ but would be horrible in person and constantly critisize everyone else, but would act all quiet and respectful in public and at school

[@benzieher]

oh my god…

[@traceydavidson6908]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that sending lots of love and hoping you recover from such an awful experience ❤

[@Izuuun]

My "that girl" period peaked more so in 2020 when up until last year I idolized that spiritual, yoga, clean eating vibe. Then my mental health spiraled due to the pandemic and now I'm at a point where yes I'm eating healthy and working out but that content honestly just makes me feel bad for not doing very specific things that don't necessarily serve me. It's ok to be sad and chill out all day, I don't have to romanticize being basically a new age spiritual housewife girlboss because that's not me at all

[@asophfable]

brb making that terminology into a doormat . that is too good

[@s_fashionlover]

Yoga isn’t new age. Influencers might push it as such but yoga in itself is a form of worship to God in Hinduism. The “exercise” aspect we know in the western world is merely the asanas (poses) side of yoga. Yoga itself can be many things (Karma yoga, Bhakti yoga etc.). Anyways, even with the exercise side, there is nothing “new” about it and I wish people would be careful in how they word this.

[@th-ck9vl]

Housewife girlboss?

[@th-ck9vl]

@S_ when westerners say new age, we mean it's the new age for US. we know it's ancient, we know where it comes from, but it newly came to the west not that long ago and slowly started to replace the old Christian worldview. New age just means new to us here. It's a new age of spirituality for us, replacing the old age.

[@sydneygraham1470]

"New age spiritual housewife girlboss" you have defined the modern standard for women😭😫

[@mally6101]

the problem with trends like this is that they're marketed as a key to "happiness" or a cure-all for life's problems. the goal shouldn't be to be "that" anything. we should just be ourselves, however messy that may be at times. some days you eat avo toast and meditate, other days you eat pizza with your best friends at 2AM and lay in bed all day watching tv. it's about balance, taking things one day at a time and not putting so much pressure on yourself to be anything. just live your life and embrace the imperfection of it!

[@26349]

Exactly👏🏼

[@Tolulope.555]

❤this!

[@geohatz4838]

So much yes to this ! ❤

[@bysscanna]

beautifully said, life is all about balance

[@Weebslayer13]

This "aesthetic" has been around for like at least 10 years or so, it's just been repackaged with a different name each time it gets a rise in popularity again

[@fridakahlo894]

Absolutely!! I have vivid memories of the ‘drink more water’ flowery posts, smoothies and nike running shorts on skinny, tanned legs…it’s a loop

[@dreambrush7251]

Yesss, I know morning routine/night time routine videos have a similar vibe to this and have been around since forever. Heck I remember years ago how Trisha Paytas was basically making fun of those by doing a complete opposite of them (eating junk food, being messy, not aesthetic etc)

[@samanthablake98]

Yes I agree! It reminds me of popular girls from high school.

[@SeeMeRolling]

I totally agree. Same thing on tumblr back in 2012

[@popartpistol]

Yes, getting big Essena ONeil tumblr girl vibes from it

[@esikazemese]

It's not just about how productive you are, it is ALWAYS COMBINED WITH HOW BEAUTIFUL you are... "look at my flat tummy in my leggings after workout while I make my smoothie". Yes thank you , I couldn't think of anything to make me feel bad about myself today.

[@Insomnia19101]

Yes or “look at how aethletic i am and look at my abs and how I’m being productive 24/7”

[@norah4731]

yes some of the clips with it girls talking about balance in life and treat yourself when you want to, they're excluding the fact that you can only treat yourself in a specific way and that way is you have to stay skinny. No bloating either because its not "healthy" even though a soft or rounded stomach is way more natural than seeing abs and ribs

[@bardofthe90s57]

I feel like 'that girl' stuff is bittersweet. Bits of it are great!! Trying to eat healthy, keeping a fairly tidy space, taking time out to exercise, cleaning your face, planning a routine, etc. These are all good things. But EVERY single thing EVERY single day is way too much for most people. And all of the clear glass dishes, specific journals and skin serums, white furniture, aesthetic junk can get lost.

[@gemcockrell]

I completely agree with this!

[@mpnb2162]

Yeaa it feels like its so much about making it into a performance for other people to prove something about yourself to them

[@Laura-gd4ku]

Its like that with every trend. Like mindfullness is great in of itself but when it was absorbed by neoliberalism and "self help" culture it was turned into a commodity that does not have anything to do with the spiritual practice and individualizes all the harrowing effects of living under capitalism to personal responsibility.

[@bridget3289]

I tried waking up at five am for a week and i did it, right? But then next week I was so tired and it really didn’t make a difference waking up at 6:30

[@gemcockrell]

@@bridget3289 I feel like the waking up early everyday part isn’t necessary. It’s more important to make sure you have had enough sleep

[@sierrafarnum9689]

Only time I was able to live a "that girl" lifestyle was when I was hypomanic. It literally took me having a mental illness to get to that level of "perfection".

[@liskazoek2135]

For real! It was only possible for me when I was heavily dissociated and it ended up in multiple breakdowns and malnutrition, so yeah... High standards

[@DrawciaGleam02]

OH MY GOD! 😱 Hope you're doing better.

[@freethegays]

same lmao 😂 i was going to the gym at 5am because I didn't sleep all night and had so much energy...

[@v1v1dlyv1rtual]

I have bipolar disorder and honestly I can't even stress how much I understand this. When I was manic I would actually like obsess over routine like this and then depression made it basically impossible to do anything

[@clownrat5759]

@@v1v1dlyv1rtual you’d set up your entire fucking life plan and exactly how it’d go from this moment onwards, it’s all figured out your entire life! Then you wake up and don’t even get up when you need to piss.

[@martianpudding9522]

I want to try to be "this" girl instead of "that" girl. Like imagine my own ideal lifestyle instead of an idealized lifestyle and try to plan that out.

[@allisonnicole1659]

I’m doing that rn. I’m taking some of the wellness and habits of “that girl” but in a way that works for me and also incorporates more stuff that I like. I do want to workout more but It’s not feasible for me to be a full gym girly. I’m at work almost all day every day. I do not have time to make a lovely green smoothie with protein powder and an avocado honey English muffin before going to the gym everyday. I instead signed up for some fun fitness classes that I can book 1 at a time for my own schedule. I want to eat healthier. I can’t cook 3 meals a day though. If I have to skip breakfast or grab a pop tart as I’m walking out of the door for work that’s fine. I also know that I don’t like all chill “that girl” activities, so I make it a priority to do activities I like instead. All of my downtime is not going to be spent going on walks and doing yoga and journaling and meal prepping. It’s my own self care and it should be spent doing what I want to do. I’m building a happy healthy life for me in a way that works for me.

[@icedoatmilklatte910]

@@allisonnicole1659 I LOVE this approach!!

[@mikafreak1]

Ok LOVE this!!!

[@dan-md9wg]

this is honestly great, love it

[@pancakebears]

love this for you 💞☺️

[@sarah8028]

I feel like I can only operate at 30% “That Girl” energy. Like, yeah I make my own Greek yoghurt from scratch and I grow my own vegetables, but I also haven’t been to the gym in a year, we’re in year two of the pandemic and I still wear ugly pyjamas whenever I don’t have to be on camera, and my desk posture is basically gollum level at this point.

[@merrymermaid]

we’re in year 3 of the pandemic now 😭

[@sarah8028]

@@merrymermaid Oh lord, don't remind me LOL

[@emmiebunny04]

ngl making ur own yoghurt seems so cool

[@sarah8028]

@@emmiebunny04 if you have an Instant Pot it’s actually super easy! You basically just have to boil the milk, let it cool to 116F, add a few tablespoons of your last batch of yoghurt, and let it sit on the Instant Pot’s yoghurt setting for 8 hours. Once the eight hours are over, pop it in the fridge overnight to set, and tomorrow morning you’ve got amazing yoghurt! After that I strain it for 24hrs to make Greek yoghurt (or labneh if I strain for 48hrs) but that’s not essential, just a preference thing - and again it’s just idle time where something sits in the fridge and you can ignore it.

[@littletinyegg]

“That girl” is 100000% gen Z girl boss omg. I’m 28 and my version of that girl was like 2013 Australian vegans. I wonder if there’s something about early early 20s women trying to figure out how to be an adult, but trying to deviate from what their parents or other adults around them are doing

[@allieconzola]

Ooh, good point!!

[@Beeoog]

And yeah, 2000’s had all the girls who wanted to be like Carrie Bradshaw.

[@j1430]

freelee the banana girl you mean? lol she was like the face of it also i feel like most of the women aren’t gen z or at least the posters. like maybe 24+ idk

[@vellamour]

Ooo I remember being obsessed with the 2013 Aussie vegans.

[@s_fashionlover]

Nahhh a lot of the “that girl” are women in their 20’s to early 30s. It’s hard to be a “that girl” but especially in college. The college morning routine screams KZbinr to me. That girl is someone who os new to the workforce or has already been there for a a few years and is trying to (or continuing to be) independent for the most part.

[@therobotdevil2284]

I practice a lot of the "that girl" rituals in my daily routine because having structure and eating certain things/getting regular activity helps me cope with my anxiety, depression, and ADHD. HOWEVER, the key to keeping it from getting toxic is not forcing myself to "check all the boxes" every single day if I really am not feeling it (balance is healthy), not striving for constant adherence to a certain aesthetic, and trying to never guilt myself for not doing this or that. Whatever works for you.

[@lila-hk1pk]

I have adhd and anxiety as well, and I did kind of live the that girl lifestyle for a brief period of time. I found it really helpful for my anxiety and my happiness. I really liked the emphasis on enjoying the small things ‘romanticising your life’, but I think it isn’t sustainable in the long term if you have a mental illness or adhd. It took too much impulse control and discipline for me to be able to keep it up for more than a couple of months.

[@ekdukes]

SAME, yes to all of this ^ Practicing the rituals because it helps me cope with my mental health issues, and any time I don’t stick to the routines, I see a serious decline in my mental health.

[@acdc2468]

I find it so interesting that spin of --- "That girl is about being the best version of yourself" -- copout that "that girls" use to deflect the real criticisms of the identity/trend. The trend demands a lifestyle and aesthetic that is only attainable by certain people who come from particular socio-economic backgrounds and if your personal version of "that girl" is too different, you're not "that girl" anymore. There's a strong element of conformity that permeates the trend and essentially keeps "that girl" videos from always fitting into the "that girl" aesthetic. You hardly see "that girl" waking up to go cover an opening shift at a store. You hardly see "that girl" running late in her day. You hardly see "that girl" without perfectly done nails. You hardly see "that girl" living in a multi-generational house hold. Why not? Because the certain roles of class, ethnicity and socio-economic standing are all reinforced within the trend --- That's to say that if your entire lifestyle can revolve around pampering yourself, you probably come from a very privileged background to begin with.

[@josiemac7807]

Yes! That Girl always has a very toned, slim body type because she doesn’t have long working hours which leave her too drained to work out at the end of the day, she eats exclusively fresh, nutritious, healthy foods because she can afford not to rely on cheaper options which are almost invariably more sugary and greasy. Sooo many aspects of this trend are classist and that’s just one reason it’s so unsettling.

[@echoformsart]

If i could repeat this 100 more times to the entirety of the internets user-base i would

[@melissahcat123]

Literally!! The idea is so classist. When poor people wakeup to go to their 9-5 it’s slaving. when poor people cook their meals because they can’t afford to dine out, then it’s called being cheap. But if a rich woman wakes up early, makes her own avocado toast they’re seen as a “boss babe” “that girl”

[@toriestrella]

@@josiemac7807 Yes, very much this. When I used to only have to deal with University, I was the slimmest and most fit I've ever been. Nowadays, it's so hard to keep the weight off, working full time. I'm just so drained and yet need to eat enough to sustain myself throughout the day.

[@sydneygraham1470]

Seriously!!!!! There's no room for "that girl" to be anything outside of a wealthy white influencer.

[@emptysoul8462]

To be honest, “that girl” is like a very specific Pinterest board. It’s not most people’s reality, rather a collection of inspirational imagery, quotes, goals, etc. Being one’s best self doesn’t have to mean becoming “that girl”, but for some it’s the closest to what their goals might look like.

[@mariadeiana5703]

People overestimate how complicate fitness and being healthy is. People do not need to watch out for carb intakes and sodium levels unless they're bodybuilders

[@renaissauce9516]

Watching "that girl" content made me ungrateful and envious for awhile to the point I had to go on a KZbin and social media detox. I started to notice every little thing that was wrong with myself and my surroundings. Due to my financial situation and being on the lower end of middle class, I can't always afford the ingredients to make aesthetic meals. I certainly don't have time to meditate, journal and do all this self-help stuff. I just go go go. These girls live independently in aesthetic apartments too and it made me feel bad about still living with my parents where I don't have control over the decor or how many cups my mom wants to hoard. But then I realized many of them are privileged, and that's great for them, but I shouldn't compare myself to that because our circumstances aren't the same.

[@twiggledowntown3564]

Same. The money they always have to make those meals.

[@larisa138]

Same! I worked hard to be grateful for my modest lifestyle and aspiring to be "that girl" tanked it.

[@dog771]

they also take meals that are traditionally easy and affordable (ie oatmeal, rice bowls, toast) and make them so aesthetically focused in a way that's out of reach for the average person. it makes such meals seem intimidating/hard to incorporate into your own life, and it makes it seem like you did something wrong if you make the simple and reliable but ugly version of these foods. i just feel like portraying foods (and even the whole lifestyle in general) in such an idealized/photogenic fashion makes these things seem harder to achieve than they should be. it kinda reminds me of the minimalism trend, where all the influencers promoting it have the same very specific style, which makes it seem like you can't be a minimalist without mimicking their version of it. when in reality, minimalism should just be about owning less and not buying things you don't need.

[@brennam954]

Girl, they're all f****** privileged, or they're trying their hardest to look that way. They're all white. They're all very skinny. They all have perfect skin. None of them have phsyical disabilities. They are able to plan their own schedule. They don't have kids (usually). Like, this is not realistic for the vast majority of women, and it surely is not representative. It's toxic.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

@@dog771 "it makes it seem like you did something wrong if you make the simple and reliable but ugly version of these foods. " This is what I wanted, okay? *photogenic avocado on toast* AND THIS IS WHAT I GOT! *green goop on slightly burnt toast* This is how "that girl" affects food perception if you ask me....😂😂

[@julia0822]

The thing is that, many of these things have been scientifically proven to improve your mental health. Which is why It makes sense that this trend started during the pandemic, when many doctors and psicologist on TV and social media were encouraging things like doing yoga and having consistent routines in order to reduce anxiety and stress caused by the lockdowns. The problem, as you said, comes when you sell It as an aesthetic, more specifically, when you throw wealth into the picture, especially since doing some of those things are not cute and aesthetic, but work. It's no longer about doing yoga and meditating to help reduce anxiety, it's about doing It in your apartment that has lots of space and amazing lighting, while wearing lululemon. It's no longer about cooking more nutricious and cheaper meals for yourself, it's about eating the most expensive fruits and vegetables you can find at the supermarket. It's no longer about having a routine that prevents you from staying in bed all day and feeling worse and worse about yourself, it's about spending every minute of your day working and obsessing over your goals. "That girl" could have actually been a good trend about promoting good habits and bettering yourself and your mental health, but as always, capitalism ruined it.

[@YourMajesty143]

Perfectly summarized!

[@panache1127]

Agree 100% A lot of this is not bad in itself. I've always done yoga and exercise and try to eat healthy and take care of my skin (skin is your body's largest organ and needs to be cleaned and taken care of properly). Journaling is great for mental health. But when perfection, trying to fit in, or doing for the sake of making money take over...it's not healthy anymore.

[@ekdukes]

Holy shit this ^ You worded this so well. I‘ll be honest, I subscribe to several that girl trends and have felt motivated to keep my space clean and eat healthy food. That said, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for years. What helped me most was routines. It started when I was 19, watching makeup gurus and following their tutorials; I’d do my makeup every morning, even if I had no where to go, because at the very least, I’d put in a small effort into myself, in attempts to keep a sort of promise to myself. I’m 26 now and have kept up with some of the trends - minimalist athleisure (I have some sensory issues so am very in tune with what feels good versus wearing something because it’s the trend) to keeping up with the gym consistently. But I think since I’ve gotten older, I don’t feel the need to wake up at 5am (because I gratefully don’t work a job where I need to, though I absolutely have before) and I’m no longer on Instagram/tiktok, so I don’t feel this pressing need to post about my life or aesthetic. I think I’ve found a sweet spot with routines protecting me from worse mental health days while not losing myself entirely to the trend. All of that said, I loved your comment

[@thepandoricaoffandomsbacku7349]

No amount of popularity will ever make me want to switch night showers with morning showers

[@shannonceleste5557]

Same. I don’t mind a morning shower but I grew up on night showers. Get clean and change into comfies, and the bed is fresh as well once you’ve slept. If you don’t shower before bed- you’ve got all the day on you still!

[@shamidkpzd]

I wasn’t allowed to not take morning showers growing up. My mom always said, “you don’t get into bed dirty.” I didn’t know until much later in life that not everyone (who was able of course) bathed at night. I was like “what do you mean you worked all day and just got into bed?” 😨 🤣

[@roxycocksey]

Hahah same! Morning showers are literally a form of torture for me 😰😂

[@GirlDo3]

I only used to take morning showers in high school when I was running late so I needed to take 3min showers to wake me up to sprint to the bus stop lol

[@ILikeTheIvy]

Dunno why but morning showers are boring to me compared to having one later on before going to bed

[@atqiyasyed1549]

"That Girl" in my opinion is, as you said, kind of repackaged girl bos feminism but mixed in with this intrinsically soft, pretty, feminine energy that kind of ultimately supports the hierarchy of traditionally "attractive" women of higher socioeconomic class being above women working "regular" jobs who may not always have time to work out every morning or do a 10 step skincare routine everyday and in turn do not have the same features as "that girl", for example being super fit and having good skin.

[@elenajimenez]

The first 5 minutes in the video describing “that girl” summarizes what I’ve being doing for 2 years to reduce my ADHD and anxiety symptoms. Haha. Waking up early and exercise, reduce sugar intake to ease mood swings, yoga and meditation and journaling are also really good to help with mood swings, impulsivity, intrusive thoughts and the like. The way I did it was implementing 1 thing at a time: for a month I would just wake half and hour earlier, exercise 15 minutes and shower then go to work. A month later, once the exercise routine became easy to do, I cut out the morning Oreos (😂) replaced it with 1 avocado and a coffee with sugar. Did that for a month, then cut out the sugar in the coffee, that helped A LOT! It’s a very slow method but it works wonders if you are struggling with will power and low self image. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure going from 0 to 100 immediately. Very interesting that is or was a trend. Love your videos! You’re great ❤️

[@lakshitasomani8671]

AS A FELLOW ADHDER IM LITERALLY TRYING TO DO THAT THANKYOUUUU 🛐🛐🛐

[@sepiajoy2871]

Thanks for posting this! I'm trying to make some lifestyle changes since my diet is shit and all; this is a good method. Take care :-))

[@elenajimenez]

@@lakshitasomani8671 aw! You’re welcome! It’s so hard, you’re doing your best and that’s what counts. Treat yourself with love ❤️.

[@lakshitasomani8671]

@@elenajimenez aah you're so sweet 💗

[@troebeliewoep]

I do similar things to help my mental health issues (anxiety, depression, c-ptsd, autism) too!

[@StellaBella488]

I wish someone could make a video on how white beauty standards have such a dire chokehold on white women. I feel like the “over-representation” causes a way larger proportion of eating disorders and body image issues in the white community. So many girls I’ve met have intense mental health due to this at such young ages. Being in many majority white circles, the need to conform seems much more intense than in black circles. I’m genuinely curious, intrigued, and sympathetic to it all….

[@christinesarkis4029]

I think you're on to something. It's possible that because we see more women in fashion and advertising who look like us, we internalize the unrealistic standards and expectations as somehow being more achievable, and beat ourselves up more when we don't fit them. There's also the effect of white Boomer feminism and its message of "you can have it all, you don't have to choose between career and family" being taken to the extreme of "you MUST have it all", where upper-middle class white women are now expected to be overachievers in every aspect of their lives: perfect career AND perfect family AND perfect health. That's what you're supposed to aspire to, or there's something wrong with you. It's a recipe for mental illness, IMO.

[@strawberrycherrybaby]

I’m a white chick with no body issues and I feel like a unicorn. It definitely makes other women feel upset/jealous towards my ‘carefree’ attitude. My mom just grew up super poor and had other shit to worry about besides being thin and fashionable. So I’m fortunate she didn’t get brainwashed by diet culture and push that on me. I’ve lost friends because I don’t let people make comments about my body, whether they’re ‘positive’ or negative. I also can’t be friends with women who constantly degrade their own bodies, both because it makes me feel like I’m being judged, and I don’t want my friends to hate themselves that much. It makes me sad. Women deserve better. I have noticed that white girl beauty standards are more about being thin, while black women are expected to be more feminine (like long nails, makeup, hair done, etc) constantly. I’m assuming due to the stereotype that black women are ‘more masculine’ which is horse shit fr.

[@softwaifu]

This is the most insightful comment on this video. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked by white friends why I don't have their same body issues and it feels like a lot to get into to introduce the idea that the "beauty standards" they were raised with never actually seemed like a real, attainable thing for me so I didn't literally compare myself to white models and celebrities the way they did. Then, by the time my body type was being put out in media, it was being "celebrated"/f3tishized and I was like 22 so it didn't really matter as much. The fact that I was raised to think of the women I knew as the most beautiful women on earth, and still do... ❤ Edit: I'm polynesian, to clarify since you specifically mentioned the black community!

[@StellaBella488]

@@strawberrycherrybaby that’s really interesting! I’m glad you were able to avoid that pitfall. And I never thought about that perspective of the black beauty standards but I 100% agree🤯! I’ve always had a wistful longing to be just like the super feminine women that are able to make their entire lifestyle pretty (no matter what their aesthetic is)! Somehow they make time to look put together no matter how chaotic life gets. It seems like art to me. Thanks for your reply. I wasn’t sure how my post would be perceived 😅😊

[@jennaharrison3163]

“the girls have intense mental health” girl… every living person has mental health. just like everyone has physical health. mental health issues.

[@googleaccount-ox7kq]

I’m literally roomies with girls who are “that girl” to a Tee. It finally clicked why something about their habits were really peculiar. Also thanks for this vid!!

[@heyysophie9928]

yikes stay strong soldier

[@literaIIyshy]

How are they as a person tho?

[@farzana2686]

what are their personalities like

[@iii2594]

lol i've been roomies with the opposite, they are "that girl" only on instagram, but in reality very messy and disorganised. living right near this person was an eerie experience

[@googleaccount-ox7kq]

@@literaIIyshy she’s a nice person, soft spoken and easy to get along with but she’s also a bit sensitive.

[@riry0ku]

"How am I supposed to That Girl in these conditions?!" Me every day.

[@strawberry_punch_art]

In this economy!

[@amber.11.11]

The thing with all these trends (That Girl, Clean girl makeup etc) is that they rely on capitalism and materialism to reflect the aesthetic of the trend. Obviously, they can be harmless, but I don’t like how every trend is so rooted in aesthetics and materialism, that it becomes just that.

[@eliseg0001]

Yes! I hate the idea of having to spend tons of money to become the ‘best version of myself’

[@Paula-zt9ol]

This is spot on!

[@pancakebears]

agreed!!! it’s like any version of the “ideal woman” is inherently rooted in tangible and shallow things. while “that girl” has some good aspects, it all gets washed out with capitalism and materialism :(

[@kaimoon3232]

This!!!!!

[@TheMakeupChair]

What I love about her videos is that...hmm how do I explain this...okay so you know when you look at a magic eye picture, those pictures with like two faces in one image and you know that’s something off about it but you can only see one of the faces and you just can’t figure it out...well it’s like Jordan points out the other face, and then you can see both faces in the image...does that make sense? Well basic I’m just saying I love her videos. Also kind of realised that I’m on of these ‘girls’ but I do it without realising and I don’t really post about it doesn’t seem that special just suits me and I don’t follow anyone who is one purposefully, just with my chronic illness my routine helps keep bad flare ups at bay kind of but I get the same stuff done when I wake up at 6am as someone who wakes up at 11am. My clock is just turned, I wish people didn’t connect the time you wake up at to how productive you are. If you sleep for 8 hours - You still have the same amount of hours in the day no matter what time you wake up. I used to work till 6am and sleep for 8 hours, same amount of work got done either way. Just be kind to yourself, you’re doing your best ❤️

[@watchcloudspassmeby]

Love the way you described this!

[@roxycocksey]

Omg THANK 👏 YOU👏 for pointing out that it doesn’t matter what time you wake up you still have the same amount of hours in a day. I’m a night owl so I stay up late and sleep in later than most people, but everyone thinks I sleep for 12 hours even though I don’t- I just sleep at a different time than them and they somehow can’t grasp that concept. I get called lazy all the time even though I get my shit done and sleep the same amount of hours as them, just at a different time. I’m SO SICK of constantly defending myself to people about it. I feel most creative and most myself in the middle of the night when the everyone is asleep and I can finally focus.

[@Aster_Risk]

It's interesting that you pointed out having to do this sort of routine is a necessity for your chronic illness and not just something fun you can pick up and put down.

[@tessy28]

Honestly the idea of waking up at 5am just to start exercising, journalling and cleaning sounds crazy to me. I actually became way more successful when I learned to just chill out in life

[@itsbasicboi]

Don't worry Jordan we are all here for you! Please don't stress over posting :).

[@Grateful.knits99]

Near ratio

[@marcelapessoa7136]

Here in Brazil the term “that girl” translates to “aquela garota” which is popularly associated to a bad connotation, that girl in Brazil is a slang for pick me or nlog, since this trend has gotten popular some Brazilian girls are using the term and some times get mocked with sarcastic comments like “✨aquela garota✨”, btw great video!

[@kaitlin3287]

This is so interesting, thank you for sharing!

[@michellevieiracordeiro]

Eu nem tinha pensado nisso, mas é mesmo a gente precisa de um termo diferente kkkkk

[@marinetter.8423]

What do you guys dislike about it?

[@anajulianascimento7832]

@@marinetter.8423 how is tottaly disconected from the reality of the majority of people here, since a lot of us are struggling to survive a financial and political crises since forever! So having people wake up at 4 am to get a bus for 2/3 hours to get to their jobs and work the whole day and be at home at night only having time to kiss their kids and prepare for tomorow while some girl is promoting a 10 steps skin care routine is just... almost satirical 😂 *sorry about my english, i'm learning by myself

[@van_ol1056]

I feel so incompetent hearing other people say they are in a depressive episode, but they still get so many things done Yet I'm here not able to go down the stairs after trying for two days I know depression has various forms and intensities, but I get told so many times to just work harder to get out of it

[@layeokoh8006]

I'm sorry, no pressure. Baby steps

[@crystaldollhouse]

I get you. I see how people manage to do so much and yet I can't do anything! It can make me look down on myself. I try not to let it get to me but it can be rough. Take care 😊

[@Shooketh__]

It's completely alright. Mental illnesses are not the same for everyone. Some people are able to be productive, others are not. It's natural. Just take baby steps, that's fine ❤️

[@jessicaplaith9097]

Its funny (if not tragic) that i have this type of depression, but ive always wanted being your type, yknow? Its exhausting doing things like theres not a pressure on your shoulders, also people would stop denying my depression bc i can leave my bed... But hey, dont be hard on yourself, take it easy, you dont deserve this feeling and depression can beat the fuck up of u. Wish u a hug

[@wndrlnd6809]

I know some may disagree, but I think that hustle culture (specifically, male hustle culture) is the male version of the 'that girl' lifestyle. They share some similarities routine-wise.

[@joeyjojos5839]

Facts though. Except i feel like the men's version lacks the self care aspects aside from "go to the gym" which I feel like is more about being a big strong man anyway, instead of like, actually feeling better because of exercise.

[@lyda6243]

I was about to comment it it’s similar but more about « how to be an alpha male with a big d » than having healthy habits.And apparently as women we need to be perfect mentally and physically,who cares if you’re mentally ill but a strong alpha man ?

[@pearlcnrd]

Thank you, that girl is that trend but pretty

[@Isabella-vn3wg]

100%. It's similar to the trend from years ago when motivation influencers like Gary V were popular and everyone was posting "rise and grind" quotes.

[@wndrlnd6809]

​@@Isabella-vn3wg Yes. This is exactly what I was thinking of. In the end, it's all for social media and parasocial validation.

[@sofiadelslay]

The argument that this trend is not an aesthetic and “looks different for everyone” holds no water for me… it’s literally called “that girl”. The sheer fact that it’s named this way indicates that there IS an aesthetic and manifestable that girl. It already has an image in mind of some successful rich girl. It can’t just be about bettering yourself if even its name is indicative of comparison. “I don’t want to be me, I want to be ‘that girl’ that works out and has sleek buns and eats avocado toast all the time because it looks cool.” The word “that” implies that the end goal is a girl completely different from yourself. And that’s the issue

[@hannahiseithertiredorwired6265]

Back when the 'that girl' trend really started popping off I got interested in it but quickly lost interest because it's so cookie cutter??? Like there's not a lot of variation, lots of white walls, and similar looking creators all following similar plans and it felt alien. Like it had good parts to it, like many of these trends do, but it feels so constrained by it's own unspoken rules that I don't see it surviving for more than the next few years, if that. Also, this might just be me wearing the tinfoil hat, but here in the states (where many of the 'that girls' reside) fresh produce can most definitely be a seen as bit of a status symbol and the amounts a person would need to follow the diets that 'that girls' laid out would most definitely cost a pretty penny, especially in the middle of an economic recession.

[@mop5165]

A bell pepper is ~3.99CAD for a single one right now. Fresh produce is definitely a privilege right now! Frozen veggies for me. Gotta coupon flip for bell peppers now 😅

[@Paula-zt9ol]

@@mop5165 woah! That is so high 😅

[@brennam954]

Yup. Everything you said is so true.

[@Danislashed]

Right! Like it’s hard to find a “that girl” creator that isn’t all white walls, minimalistic, and lululemon, and it’s honestly really boring.

[@shireads2954]

I agree with everything except the idea that it will be very short lived. It's been going strong since the mid 2010s if I'm remembering correctly. It's just going by a different name, but people were doing this exact thing in their relaxing morning and evening routines in 2016.

[@ggttr297]

I think that when this trend is taken with a pinch of salt, it can actually be quite motivating, especially when you’re getting out of a slump. It is worth reminding yourself that you only see highly perfected 15 second clips of people being “that girl” and in reality that lifestyle is incredibly unrealistic.

[@stormyjackson]

I feel like “that girl” morphed into the “clean girl”

[@amber.11.11]

Yeah, and the clean girl aesthetic also relies on clear skin and being conventionally attractive which is no surprise :/

[@odin4306]

@@amber.11.11 And able bodied, sadly.

[@ifeellikeastar9052]

In my mind they’re the same thing lmao

[@solari8886]

Society is so fucked up that they made being healthy an unrealistic trend. What is the normal nowadays? Being sedentary, eating fast food, no routine, just spending 10h in social media. They criticize "that girl", but living in the normal way isn't toxic for your body and mental? What people have to understand is that being health should be normalized and everything in social media is so extreme... You don't have to own a 10 step skincare routine, just take care of your skin. You don't have to workout everyday, start with going to the gym 2x per week and then you increase. You don't have to buy all the "fit" foods, but start to eat vegetable and salads... you are an adult. The problem is wanting to turn another person in one day, go slow. Ignore all the shitty rules of this trendy, just do the basic: eat heatlhy, drink water, exercise your body and brain, sleep 7/8h and have leisure/rest time. Get out of that irrealistic enviroment that social media created and take control of your life.

[@sunnydayhanerh]

Here’s to us with chronic illness who can literally never be “that girl” 🤣🙋🏻‍♀️

[@maxine9321]

i literally have to remind myself i have fibromyalgia and physically cannot be that girl when i start feeling negative about myself 💀

[@odin4306]

I was thinking the same! The focus on health kind of pisses me off. How people seem to relate morality, happiness, beauty, “being your best self” on how healthy you are. Our (the chronically ill) priority is taking care of ourselves how we can! We aren’t less than for not being able to do “more”.

[@dinodino5602]

+++

[@flawedsanity]

🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

[@loktungwoo3466]

samee :(( like "that girl" doesn't have to deal with any self-esteem blowing eczema flare ups like i do. when your whole face flares up like a god damned tomato and itches like crazy its so hard to cope with it already nonetheless completing a whole ass routine

[@tineke4134]

As someone who is chronically ill, seeing these videos as I’m scrolling through Instagram just makes me feel even more sad about my life. I have autoimmune diseases so my body is literally attacking itself. Sometimes they literally go as far as saying “get out of bed and go make yourself a healthy breakfast”. This isn’t inherently bad advice but chronic fatigue makes me sleep about 12 hours a day and I’m usually too nauseas to have an appetite. I’m already too hard on myself for sleeping in so much; it’s viewed as lazy even though I literally have malabsorption and anemia. I try not to be jealous of healthy people but seeing other young people live what are deemed “perfect healthy lives” definitely makes me feel shit about not being able to control my health. The immunity smoothies they make are just ironic to me and the yoga probably makes their joints feel better but my elbows will continue to hurt ☠️. Of course I know they mean well but I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels like their health is out of their control 😅.

[@xalciaqx9026]

HIII fellow chronically ill person!!!! Finally someone talks about it. I have shelf syndrome and feel the same way. That girl aesthetic bashes people like us, it's the unhealthy hyperfixation on "health". I noticed that being healthy obsession now is just a different wrapper of being obsessed with beauty. It's mostly focused on white, able-bodied people, who see "health" as something we can see on surface-level. You can eat the most healthy food you can find on earth, you can work out whenever you have the chance to, but it's not gonna take the chronic illness or disability out of your body. I wish more people understood that. I wish your flare ups won't be as bad and i hope you have a good day!

[@grimmgoosegoose216]

I know this is such a late reply, but I'm currently sitting here with a migraine feeling the exact same way. Somedays its a struggle just to change shirts. Sending solidarity and internet hugs if you want them,

[@tessy28]

You care too much

[@kaylithomas3441]

As someone with my own health struggles, chronic pains POTS,etc, I empathize with your feelings. It’s so hard not to feel anger & frustration seeing healthy people & lifestyles. As well as feeling jealous and then feeling down because I wish k could be like that. 🫂 you’re not alone. Sometimes I get irritated when they act like anyone can do it and if you don’t you’re just lazy or something. I wish I just had the energy to shower more often than I do but it’s just so hard/painful/exhausting that I just have to save my spoons and work up to it.

[@elissakadik]

My take on it: Duting the lockdowns, we were literally forced not to go out to work, take the bus to school/uni/college/etc., everyone kinda felt this really weird feeling of shame and guilt from "doing nothing", and feeling unproductive. I think this trend kind of came at the right time to flourish in such a climate

[@facelessdrone]

It didn't come at the right time, it was created because of that time

[@awtumn]

This trend was around long before lockdown though. Like a previous commenter said, it was just renamed and repackaged.

[@ItsOKtobeNormal]

Not me, I still had to work. The lock down was pretty awesome actually because there was no traffic, going to the store was a pain in the butt though.

[@evmrc820]

I completely agree, when I was in a depression last year I found 'that girl' tiktoks and found it really motivating- until I tried it myself. It only made my self-loathing worse because I felt like a failure because I struggled to be really productive and it just made me feel awful about myself. I felt like it was a simple task (they make it look easy) and I couldn't even do that. It's not all bad tho, as it made me feel so bad that I sought out a counsellor for the first time and got myself help. Something he told me was that you can't hold yourself to the standard that you see online, the average person is not hyperproductive- and you don't have to be either to be a valuable person.

[@ItsOKtobeNormal]

Even the people online are not as productive as they appear, you really think these people are doing this stuff every day? Of course not, it's all a show. They're all phonies.

[@sazimoganedi6988]

Had the same

[@G625-s1c]

boy am i excited for indie sleaze to come back! also, in a weird way, indie sleaze and that girl are two sides of the same coin? both are going for ‘effortlessly cool’ and both represent lifestyles of *highly intense* intense people, with one group being hyperfocused on food, exercise, productivity, and perfectionism, while the other group uses parties, benders, sex, and usually being some kind of tortured artist as an outlet for that intensity. i say this as someone who’s been both the person who has had the overly-structured ‘healthy’ lifestyle and the burnout party bitch lifestyle at different points. they’re both outlets for my extremely intense personality. the dark side of both is obviously the obsession with thinness throughout the aesthetic.

[@rosamata6903]

I tried being 'that girl' and felt the same way you did. I felt overwhelmed and more depressed. I feel less alone thank you for sharing your experience.

[@msc2608]

why does the "lifestyle" aspect of a that girl sounds just like influencer girlboss when it just emerged around 2013

[@laura_0_9]

This trend in another way of encouraging young women to eat healthy, workout, have a flat stomach, have perfect grades, have time for yourself, be successful, etc., it is encouraging perfectionism, which in that degree is not healthy either, it promotes anxiety and unhappiness with whom you are, it promotes EDs, etc., even more when you see a KZbin video of just one day of those girls trying to be that girl, making the watchers think that is how they live every single day. For example, as an university student myself the amount of time I have to spend studying, attending classes, commuting, etc., does not allow you to sustain this kind of rutine, and if you are not a mentally stable person, it can make you feel like you will never amount to anything because if you do not follow that routine, you will not be successful. And also, as you have said, who has the money to afford all that? Expensive fresh fruit and vegetables, expensive clothing and skin care products, gym passes that are quite pricey too... I could continue but I think I've made my point 🙃

[@Evermorereads]

This is very interesting to me. Because I attended a highly competitive high school I technically lived a “that girl” lifestyle for the past 10 years (except the elaborate skin care routine and work outs). They always make it seem like the ultimate hack to success but it’s really not at all. I’ve had debilitating anxiety and imposter syndrome all while waking up at 6 am, having healthy meals and spending hours being productive. Even now most of my friends look at my life and “wish” they could be like me but they have no idea how difficult it is when you’re programmed to be this way.

[@ibrahimkamityoutube]

"in my investigative journalist era" 😭😭

[@sioparr]

I feel the exact same in regards to loving a routine but hating a time limit, even self imposed. The second I get slightly off schedule I feel like a failure and give up altogether or I may not even be off schedule but tell that to my anxiety that’s counting down every minute

[@bunnyteeth365]

Same with me. I've never been able to sleep well in my life, so I've never been able to stick to a regular routine with time limits.

[@kinseydesignsbrands]

This exactly!! I struggled for *years* building a scheduled routine and every single day I’d feel like a failure because I wasn’t “doing it right.” This year, it changed though. I stopped giving a shit about the timing of it, stopped controlling when I’d do things and just purely focused on what I really desired to do that felt good and it changed my entire routine. I’m not micromanaging myself anymore, I can just relax, and I’m finding that my routine is pretty regular, but not exact and that’s alright!

[@onepunch2310]

Omg same I thought I was the only one! The same goes for diets for me as someone who’s grown up fat and always bullied I ate my emotions a lot and self harmed. When I’d go on a diet I’d be really strict on myself and I’d be miserable. The moment I ate something outside of the diet or didn’t stay below a certain amount of carbs or calories I’d shit on my self so hard and just binge and restrict. I’m starting to learn how to control my emotional eating and stop having so much anxiety around food. It’s going to take a life time to break through the trauma but im trying and that’s better than thinking about offing myself for some minor thing I did that day that no one remembers.

[@riyanah7238]

@@onepunch2310 we are literally the same

[@kinseydesignsbrands]

I just wanted to add here, that I'm reading a book called "Pleasure Zone" by Stella Resnick for a Pleasure Bootcamp I'm in, and I was reminded of this video and comment thread! She writes about the "punishment ethos" and "overcontrolling" culture that has lead to us denying ourselves and resisting pleasurable experiences and binging things that do give us pleasure and a way to "let go." We restrict ourselves because that's what we believe self-discipline is, a denial of pleasure for long-term success and gratification. But reframed, pleasure is actually a discipline, as well as learning to let go of control, which paradoxically, allows us to actually have greater control, the ability to moderate ourselves and feel gratified. We have been conditioned on pain, not pleasure, therefore, most of us actually have pleasure-resistance and anxiety, which has lead to this internal struggle and battle that I see so many of us, including myself, having to endure in life. The discipline I believe we need, is the discipline to let go and prioritize what's pleasurable to us. THIS will improve our wellbeing and we won't be comparing ourselves so much to people who have the "perfect" aesthetic, because we'll actually be experiencing what we're looking for by watching "that girl" content. I hope that makes sense and that it helps someone!

[@jaimerachelle2636]

Seems like orthorexia with extra steps

[@HM-qi3ij]

i'd love to see a deep dive on male influencers! I've always found them really interesting.

[@kirag9509]

Yes! I’ve never really seen deep dives on male influencers and I think it would be super interesting

[@iluvuforever]

i don't get it.... what's there to see about a male influencer ? you guys act like men are different species to physco analyse.

[@xtonibx5770]

@@iluvuforever your comment is a bit dramatic. women are obviously different from men. male influencers and the things they teach, do, and how they act is incredibly different than female influencers for obvious reasons. it is completely different content lol.

[@48mavemiss2]

Honestly as a working mom I can relate more to the “that girl” lifestyle now than when I was younger. It’s difficult to stay organized and feel good if I don’t take the time to include the rituals in the “that girl” lifestyle.

[@antonellasmith1176]

Yes finally someone talking about this! I always thought that this trend is really misleading and overall very concerning!

[@apolloem]

Hii :-) just wanted to say that I’m a Bayern fan too lol, did not expect to see another one in this comment section ahsjdjkd (sorry idk why i wrote this but i just thought it was a bit funny ahsh)

[@antonellasmith1176]

@@apolloem yeyy wie cool🥳🥰

[@DrawciaGleam02]

The Take did a video on "That Girl" trend too. You should check it out!

[@zkkitty2436]

Mina Le did a vid on this too!

[@modge472]

You know even though you seem to be blaming yourself for “failing” the that girl routine, that was my exact experience too. I was basically that girl for three months. What I realized is that on top of all the negatives, this routine is not for people that struggle with mental health and illnesses that disrupts your ability to keep up a habit (I have adhd and depression), or just anyone that isn’t having a great time with life. It’s not sustainable and achievable for most people. I agree some of those habits can make your life a little better but the culture makes you burn out so fast from just waking up and eating breakfast.

[@justduet2312]

Her ability to actually get me to watch a video through and through, without skipping is amazing. See ya’ll next month.

[@zk6954]

"that girl" aesthetic is toxic positivity in different packaging

[@freefridays2471]

What irks me about these trends is that they equate productivity to personal value, forgetting that you are a person worthy outside of work or maintaining capitalistic functions or systems which prevent you from even doing the “therapeutic” parts of these trends

[@Shooketh__]

Exactly!

[@riarandomo]

Had to stop 19 minutes in to write this comment that "self-careism" is such a good word I would love to see essays on that

[@Caitlyn__is__always_busy]

I feel the mental health thing! We all need to recheck on our selves.

[@camilla8129]

I used to love this lifestyle, as someone with ADHD I have a really hard time keeping up with routines and I saw it as an opportunity to learn how to be healthy. But since gen z is very focused on mental health, which in itself is still a great thing, I'm starting to see this trend as just the other side bad coping mechanisms : instead of wasting time and feeling sad, you become overcontrolling and want to be productive at all costs. It's like toxic positivity instead of depression

[@allieconzola]

You’re really good at taking a trend or topic and framing it within a greater social or economic context. I hadn’t thought that this trend could be traced back to the pandemic, but makes total sense! Sorry to hear you aren’t doing too well mentally. Take care of yourself ❤️

[@himesilva]

"Has showers every day." Seem like a convenient way to make people who struggle with self-care feel even shittier about themselves.

[@ssssundae]

I think important to mention is how ableist the "that girl" trend is, for a lot of people with chronic illness none of this would be possible.

[@th-ck9vl]

No it's not. Women being able bodied and starting trends by recording themselves doing able bodied things is not ableist. If you can't do those things then you can't do them and you should know your limits. It's not their job to carefully cater to absolutely everyone and nobody expects anyone but women to do that. They shouldn't have to consider everyone's limits and feelings all at once which isn't even possible. Would you call men's weightlifting trends ableist? Their hustle culture? No. Men are NEVER expected to consider other people. Then, it's just them being strong and improving.

[@wormisjunkd]

yes! Of course people are allowed to implement routines that work for them, and even posting them is completely fine, but normalising these excessive routines or seeing them as “best versions” only encourages the idea that this lifestyle is normal, healthy, and not just attainable but necessary to live a fulfilling life. There’s a massive difference between saying “I find that waking up early in the morning helps *me* get more of what *I* want to do done” and “Sleeping in is the reason *you’re* tired/lazy/unproductive/etc.” It can be super damaging to vulnerable and especially young people to see no representation of other happy and fulfilling lives in their online spaces that don’t involve putting constant pressure and labour on yourself, or to internalise ideas like “if I’m not happy/healthy then it’s because I’m not working hard enough”. I’m chronically ill and have no issue seeing people online and irl live lives I can’t, but having these unattainable (for most able bodied people even, including those who idolise and post about it) lifestyles everywhere marketed as ideal, healthy and normal makes it pretty hard to feel like I’m doing right by myself when I know I am. I can barely manage wage labour, let alone making taking care of myself an ultra productive 24/7 grind set. Kropotkin would have an absolute field day with these people

[@joeyjojos5839]

@@th-ck9vl I think there's more nuance to this than what you're saying. The fact that being "that girl" at it's core is being as healthy and productive as possible is just not a reality for many chronically ill and disabled people. No one is shaming these women for doing such things, but to hold health and productivity as the ideal means that a disabled or ill person will never be "that girl" by the standard definition and that can feel pretty alienating. I'm not trying to say that disabled people can't participate, or that anyone that does is ableist, but the fact that "that girl's" worth is based on her health and level of productivity does feel a little bit ableist.

[@troebeliewoep]

For me the opposite is true. I do all these things because of my chronic illnesses. Its not ableist, i think many would benefit off having the time to wake early, meditate, eat healthy nutricious and nourishing foods, do mild exercise. What is ableist is that chronically ill people are forced to invest all their (often limited) energy into being a “productive member of society” first instead of investing it in their own wellbeing. And thats capitalism for you. (I am able to do this because im on disablity so i can spend my energy solely on my wellbeing, i know this is not the case for everyone)

[@incharak1927]

@@joeyjojos5839 dude the entire thing is about doing what works best for you. A person with any kind of disability can limit and set their goals on what's best for them. I seriously don't understand how much you guys are obsessed with visuals....... like u see a blonde skinny girl doing wellness stuff and you're saying that it looks like it's only for them.

[@evamei9030]

"That girl" trend never fit my disabled homeschool mom lifestyle. I stopped feeling so depressed when I stopped fighting my body. We wake up when we wake up. We school when we're ready. We have to-dos we complete throughout the day when we're able to. Everyone should find what works for them and not try to fit in to someone's else's life. We do own a transportation business with dad doing all the work right now. I'm taking the back seat to work on my mental health. I'm starting trauma therapy soon, so the less stress the better. I will say, I do admire the women who can follow routines and keep their houses spotless. Keep it up if that's you or if you want to give it a go!

[@aakeson5]

I really appreciate your pointing out that not all 9-5ers want to leave that world or start their own business. I'm an office worker and have a standard 8-4 job and I really like it. It has its negatives, of course, but I really like the amount of security it has. I know my paycheck is coming and how much it will be, I have great insurance, I love the little office parties and gatherings, I like being able to get help and offer help on projects, and... I love how much structure it offers me, I'm so much happier. Inversely, my husband is working from home and HE HATES IT SO MUCH lol. Not all things are suited for all people and not all people are "settling."

[@dreamchaser7603]

Now matter what you do someone is gonna be posed or offended these days… It’s ridiculous.

[@Anak-ie2pn]

I live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil 🇧🇷, and here we usually consume açaí as an ice cream. It helps to blend the açaí with a sweetener (like honey, guarana syrup, maple syrup), plus a little water, and fresh banana or strawberry. Here we also put paçoca (ground peanuts), granola, chocolate syrup, powdered milk on top... Is it all healthy? No! Ahahaha But it's delicious!

[@clarakf]

ahh tava procurando algum brasileiro nos comentarios kk

[@nicole-qe7br]

Adorei kkkk

[@Anak-ie2pn]

@@clarakf Brasileiros everywhere kk

[@Anak-ie2pn]

@@nicole-qe7br Sempre que falam de açaí, eu fico "hold my beer" haha

[@Kif_Lee]

OMG, the acaís my brazilian husband eats are instant sugar overdose :D

[@mylahdrexler1424]

okay, hear me out on this one: i dont see anything wrong with being "that girl" as long as you arent toxic about it. its all anout mindset and being the best version of yourself. this trend is just about being organized and healthy and stuff. imo, i dont think the people who started this trend had any ill intentions and just wanted to become the best, healthy, happy versions of themselves while just generally having their shit together. its not supposed to be a stressful lifestyle, people just overdo it/do it incorrectly. (this is just how i interpreted it tho)

[@fearless3313]

i haven't the video all the way through yet, but "that girl" just seems like an extension of the 'rich ceo-motivation-glorifying hustle' genre of content/lifestyle but targeted towards a mainly female audience

[@chestterfield]

Meanwhile all of us ADHDers being like 'I just want peace in my life and brush my teeth daily' XD

[@yerbamatte5]

what’s the name for the opposite of that girl because i haven’t slept in 2 days and i’ve been living off exclusively cheese itz for a week

[@xalciaqx9026]

I used to be "that girl". In reality i had an eating disorder.

[@Ngatiatimothy]

I've genuinely been missing this girl. So happy she has another upload. LFG!

[@amandamandi229]

the thing of 10 step skin care routines that comes with being “that girl” doesn’t makes sense to me, your skin won’t be better the more products you use, you have to use the *right* products. i reduced my routine to a cleanser, a hydrating gel/cream, sunscreen and an additional micellar water spray and my skin has been better than using a lot of popular products.

[@Exsugarbabe1]

I really don't see any point in a 10 step skincare routine sounds like a good way to find something to be allergic to.

[@maria_____.]

I was really deep into the skincare community and "skincare tok" 1-2 years ago and my skin suffered so much from it. They all encourage you to have a billion step daily routine and it's always the same popular products that don't work for everyone. I have the same routine as you now and my skin has cleared up so much.

[@rivkab3525]

The red hair gives me Ariel vibes, I love it!

[@slaybyjess]

I just found out I’m that girl 😂 I don’t think of it as a trend.. working out, trying to eat healthy, having a skincare routine, practicing gratitude by journaling it… I see nothing wrong with any of that. Maybe the influencing part of it -the aesthetic videos where everything is perfect and you have to have the latest trendy products - that’s the part that might be problematic

[@rhoda3704]

It's so precious how the two lady candles in the background are fitting together like puzzle pieces

[@marygracebiggs2859]

In ways, I am that girl. I'm vegan (I eat disgustingly healthy), I work out extremely regularly, and have a really well-balanced sleep schedule and work/school schedule. But I'm also human. I have acne, my room is a mess, and somedays I look like garbage sloth. Mental-wellbeing isn't about following a trend and hoping it will instantly make you better. It's about doing what suits YOU and makes YOU and only you feel good!

[@BryonyClaire]

It's really about the "that girl" trend coming about because I've been living the "unaesthetic" version for years as a way to fight off my depression and cope with my anxiety. The very early start time (5am), the daily routine, the meal prep, the daily workout etc. I couldn't keep up with working full time and doing KZbin without this diligence either, I certainly wouldn't call it aspirational. But for me, when this stuff drops off, my depression that's precariously kept at bay can sink back in quickly, so the "productivity" aspect keeps me going

[@Feverm00n]

So you find that doing these things actually reduces your depression? Or is it more a case of you do these things to function through being depressed?

[@BryonyClaire]

@@Feverm00n to function through it moreso, when I'm not actually motivated to work that's when I know it's gotten worse

[@nicole-qe7br]

Same for me, I study 6 to 8 hours a day (med student lol). I try to make some changes in my routine to get out of bed and stop feeling so bad about myself because of my mental health problems. But making this a white thin ppl aesthetic? Honestly i'm kind of tired of people living ON Internet lmao everyone should do whatever they feel good doing

[@fayealbertson265]

I tried this lifestyle for about a month in 2017. It was exhausting. I don't think there's anything wrong with waking up early but it led to me forcing myself to get even less sleep with the goal of being "that girl that gets up early and has her shit together". It quickly became about what others thought, not what was best for my health.

[@KH-zr6pt]

Being That Girl(tm) is something I could handle doing for like, a nice "productive" day off, but it's really not feasible for me as a daily practice. I have to get up at 5 to get to work with only a half hour to get ready, so doing anything else would just deprive me of more sleep lol I work at a doggie daycare so I'm also on my feet for 6 hours straight so afterwards I just want to plop down and relax. I find That Girl videos relaxing to watch and there can be aspects that are fun to occasionally incorporate into my life (like making a rice bowl or smoothies lol), but it does sometimes make me feel a little bad that I absolutely couldn't keep up with it. I don't want to assume there aren't neurodivergent "that girls" as having such a structured routine *could* be helpful to some people with mental health issues. but for me personally, it would be very overwhelming when considering everything else I have to do. So I do think you either have to have a LOT of free time or be an organizational wizard to be able to keep up with it 24/7. Of course, when viewing anything through the lense of social media, you're typically only witnessing the idealized version of it, so the women who participate in the trend probably also have days where they get out of bed at 10 and go get taco bell, but they just don't record those bits.

[@okestperson6016]

I also find just the type of food that goes with the aesthetic is often inaccessible not just because of the cost but also because it’s such a light breakfast. A smoothie bowl would keep me full for about 2 hours. I don’t have the time when I’m at work to eat that often and when it’s a very busy day I can barely get a few bites of food in. It works for my days off or for breakfast when I don’t have to work until later in the day but not when I gotta be at work at 6 in the morning. I guess some of the foods are more filling like oatmeal but not all of them

[@TM-dq5lr]

This video was a bit odd for me because I didn't realize that I have a decent number of "that girl" traits. I wake up at 5, clean my space regularly, do yoga, eat vegan, etc. But despite doing all the "right" things, I'm STILL super depressed lmfao

[@TM-dq5lr]

Update: 2 years later, I'm still vegan but I sleep in later, clean a little less, and don't exercise as consistently, but I'm no longer depressed! Turns out I just needed Prozac. 🙃 Good luck fellow girlies, it gets better.

[@melissak.l9734]

" 'that girl' is the gen z girlboss" YES that's exactly it!

[@lizzypremium1201]

imo i think "that girl" is a really purely positive trend as long as its balanced. nobody's saying that you can't eat any sweets, that you cant take days off of working out. its just a goal and not so much a standard

[@solisslay]

“that girl” reminds me of the “la girl” craze from 2015-16

[@isabellasandora1987]

Anyone else notice how “that girl”s are incredibly busy all day with a whole lot of nothing tho? It’s like constantly making food (which is good but not really easy for someone who works full time), reading motivational shit, journaling, nail appointments, seeing friends, shopping… it’s such a distortion

[@beepbeep7097]

I don’t want to say it’s as misogynistic but to me ‘that girl’ just feels synonymous with ‘im not like other girls’ and even if it isn’t like as bad it still implicitly puts down other girls just with the name

[@joeyjojos5839]

Absolutely. Why does anyone need to be "that girl"? Why can't they just be "a girl"? Like, what's wrong with that?

[@katiesullivan9764]

So glad you briefly mentioned the raw veganism trend at the end of this! Seeing the aesthetic & foods of 'That Girl' has been giving me flashbacks to the vegans on KZbin in 2016 claiming that eating a raw vegan diet cures all illnesses & ends all war hahaha

[@bearypinkparfait]

*This whole trend gives off hustle culture mentality but rebranded in a more feminine and idealistic way.* Some aspects can feel motivating, such as the idea of working towards your best self. But fails to execute real growth for the individual properly because it heavily relies on constantly being productive, the aesthetics and an oversimplified set routine for all. Of course, both the people watching these videos and the ones creating this content will feel insufficient. Either through comparison and feeling a failure for not having a similar lifestyle. Or feelings of imposter syndrome and guilt when you aren't being consistently "productive". Not to mention issues that can arise such as orthorexia... The strive for being your best self ultimately isn't supposed to be the same for everyone. It can't simply be fixed with only clean eating, set routines and journaling.

[@jocelynsturgis7627]

Also it's really hard to achieve if you're neurodivergent, I'm autistic and have ADHD and I just can't keep up with that and I have to work twice as hard to achieve things because of my learning and physical disabilities plus working as hard as they do brings up all my toxic habits like skipping meals, trying to lose weight, not sleeping properly

[@jotalks5920]

If I’m being completely honest, I lowkey think lifestyle trends like this can very easily turn into a gateway to developing an eating disorder. like idk I don’t think the people who make that girl content regularly are trying to promote eating disorders or anything like that, but health and lifestyle trends like this can be a slippery slope.

[@emmiebunny04]

I am someone who has recently gotten involved with the "that girl" lifestyle, I can safely say that "that girl" is a girl who lives her life to the fullest, wants to better herself mentally and physically and just wants to enjoy life. Since starting the lifestyle, I can confidently say that I feel a lot better about myself, I'm healthier, I feel like I've gotten out of my depression and I'm willing to be around my friends again. but I'm not gonna lie and say it will work for everyone, because that's just a lie. But I do think "that girl" can be anyone. EDIT: lmao I'm depressed again and I haven't been to the gym in weeks. But my meals are still healthier thanthey used to be, so it kind of worked.

[@gin2943]

for me personally i tend to view things through emotions more than like "success." so i use a planner because i have adhd and i know I'll be stressed if i can't see my day written out visually. and i know that if i wake up at a reasonable hour and make my bed and journal, then I'm less likely to break down in tears throughout the day.

[@shamidkpzd]

I find I manage my energy/emotional energy more than anything. Doing things that will cause me less stress in the long wrong and will benefit me. Same. For me it’s making a schedule with whatever feasible goals for that day so that I don’t have a meltdown at having lost track of all time or getting overwhelmed.

[@notmaya6681]

Margaret Thatcher was the original rise and grinder 💀 my girl margieeeee the trendsetter ayy

[@miav4605]

so excited to hear your take on this! Your videos are always so eloquent and enjoyable to watch :) I’m personally very anti the “that girl” aesthetic. In many ways it’s toxic and I genuinely believe the way it pushes for perfectionism in all aspects of one’s life, including one’s diet, contributed to my ed that I developed around when the aesthetic first became popular!