pick me boys, nice guy syndrome & incels

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videos mentioned-
Tara Mooknee - now, let's talk about pick me BOYS - • Not like other girls, ...
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Adella Afadi - Love Island & The Beauty Standard - • Love Island & The Beau...
time stamps:
00:00 - intro
05:44 - what is a pick me boy/nice guy syndrome?
08:54 - hugo from love island (is a massive pick me)
16:30 - why do pick me boys/nice guys even exist?
23:34 - incels
**FOR BUSINESS ENQUIRIES ONLY**
[e-mail]

[@jordanatheresa]

can i pull you for a chat x time stamps: 00:00 - intro 05:44 - what is a pick me boy/nice guy syndrome? 08:54 - hugo from love island (is a massive pick me) 16:30 - why do pick me boys/nice guys even exist? 23:34 - incels

[@icravedeath.1200]

I need help.

[@icravedeath.1200]

I need help.

[@baylimusicfanclub7772]

@@icravedeath.1200 hey, how are you doing at the moment? I hope you‘re able to talk to a friend or family member, since you‘re not feeling well. Please consider calling an emergency hotline if you are in a dangerous situation

[@icravedeath.1200]

@@baylimusicfanclub7772 so many things have just changed, I've been forced to unlearn basically everything I've been taught, I'm suddenly being pushed into self introspection. It's all too much.

[@baylimusicfanclub7772]

@@icravedeath.1200 oh no, I am so sorry, that sounds awful

[@harfir7169]

"Do you respect women or just the one's you're attracted to?" - someone on the Internet

[@geraldtherat618]

I hate them all

[@yuuri9064]

I feel like if it's only the one you're attracted to, high doubts you actually respect them lol

[@dylanh9021]

@@yuuri9064missed the point of the video …

[@nayaaluxe]

@@dylanh9021 how?

[@nayaaluxe]

@@yuuri9064 right they only "respect" them because of the fantasy in their head they have of being with them & how that person can supposedly benefit them

[@Denever]

I don't like zebras.

[@vandawiesner6038]

Basically: my ex

[@captainjoy8976]

I wonder why those don't get to have sex 🤔

[@kayleighshaw3203]

Yes they’re the type of person to stay away from in terms of coercion and manipulation. My ex was like that and I ended being abused and worse. You get it.

[@sarabanana365]

@@kayleighshaw3203 omg same

[@sxwriter8569]

@Angelina Pattern Oh god, I'm so sorry you went through that. I've seen that in movies and I'm like...she rejected you, that's no reason to call her that. It sucks to hear about how many women have had to go through this.

[@fagiolification11]

You see, the thing most people don't understand is this: having a romantic relationship with someone is not a basic right. Nobody owes it to you just because you exist.

[@geraldtherat618]

Wow no one is entitled to anything who would have known.

[@ScizzoringGirlz]

@@geraldtherat618 well apparently most men(and that is like 90%) don’t get it 💀

[@missstranger7697]

​@@ScizzoringGirlzI am gonna have to agree with this statement.

[@no_ononono3074]

YESSSS. It seems like our society frames sex, comfort, and entertainment as something we are entitled to. No one is even entitled to companionship or even the company of others! The presence of ANYONE is a gift that must be earned and maintained.

[@DrayLoco]

90% of men think they're entitled to a romantic relationship? People like you are why sexism is so rampant both ways. I've seen far more girls that act super entitled about all guys liking them, but I wouldn't generalize all women or put them down because of a bit of my personal experience. You're probably a fine person, but that's a shitty thing to say@@ScizzoringGirlz

[@Krissy_K888]

My biological brother is an incel and you described him perfectly. Growing up his parents treated him like he is God's gift to humanity and as he grew up and the rest of the world didn't confirm this to him, he experienced it as a great injustice. In private he is a very angry petty person hating on the type of people who are not protected e.g. minorities and scapegoats. In the outside world, he is the ultimate pick-me guy, fake nice, two faces, and only cares about how he looks in the eyes of the ones he wants something from.

[@eume4275]

that’s so scary! hopefully he’s better now?

[@Krissy_K888]

@@eume4275 I don't know, I've cut him off a long time ago for my own sanity. It's for his own good too, as this will force him to rely on himself more.

[@rosethorne82]

Minorities are very protected nowadays though. I've learned that from my own experiences, not just from what everyone hears lol

[@Krissy_K888]

@@rosethorne82 not in Eastern Europe.

[@HairLessBush]

​@@Krissy_K888 I think u are mixing up the term narcissistic-sociopath / azz hole with the word incel. Both are two different things

[@witchplease9695]

My parents always told me to find a good man, not a nice man. A nice man is selective and entitled with his kindness, he is only nice to people he wants a reward from. A good man is equally good to everyone unless they are immediately terrible to him and others, and only expects others to treat him with basic respect in return.

[@EF-kk3vh]

Good on your parents for that advice!

[@oliviac295]

@@justheretocommentokdontwan685 mr darcy vibes

[@fatimakhan4671]

@@justheretocommentokdontwan685 pushing people away and being mean are two different things tho, if a man is emotionally distant with his friends and withdrawn from people as a whole he can just be labelled an introvert but a man that goes out of his way to bring misery upon others certainly shouldn't be put in the same box.

[@kerdunne3422]

Women don’t want nice guys. They want kind men.

[@user-lk7cv8vg7r]

That is ridiculously solid advice. If I ever have a straight daughter, I'm using that.

[@sierra.lynette]

they always say i was “friend zoned” like a girl not being attracted to you is an act of violence 🙄

[@Ad-hk4tq]

they manufacture a violence to justify their own

[@fortunatecookie]

All conversations are about men sometimes being friend-zoned, and none about women constantly being fuck-zoned

[@anni1348]

Yeah, the friendzone things is so stupid. They act as if a plantonic friendship with a women has no absolutely Worth, just because it's not sexual. While they also basically say by that, it's completely fine to pretend to be women's friend, just to use/manipulate her and get sex from her. That's a pretty gross attitude, men should be open about their intentions and leave the person alone if they don't want romantic relationship/sex with them. Women really are "fuck-zoned".

[@mehulchoudhary5136]

@@anni1348 For a guy a platonic relationship with women is indeed unworthy. What can't a guy do by himself so as to feel the need for female friends? It's women who keep these guys orbiting around for their personal benefits, for example women should make it clear what her relationship with a man is like, on the first day, so as to leave no room for false hopes and assumptions.

[@daisy3869]

@@mehulchoudhary5136 Just leave women alone if all you care about is fucking them 😪 apparently being friends with a guy is "keeping them for benefits" lmak

[@emmalinekim9822]

One of the worst things I have experienced in my life was an incel threatening to commit an act of mass violence and telling me it was my fault because I wasn't interested in him. This was my freshman year at university, and everyone on our floor went out of our way to be nice to him. We all thought he was just kind of an awkward guy. None of us thought he had the potential to be dangerous. We actually went out of our way to try to make him feel included. I pretty quickly started dating a different guy on the floor. The incel guy would often talk to me about this other girl he had a crush on, and he was friends with my boyfriend, so I just assumed that we were friends and it was fine. Then it got really scary when he told me about the violent things he wanted to do to everyone on our floor all because I and the other girl he liked weren't interested in dating him. He ended up writing a threatening message in a public place, and was hospitalized and withdrew from the school. People like this can be extremely dangerous and I just wish that I had known more about identifying the difference between just a socially awkward guy and a dangerous incel. There were SO MANY red flags, and I wish I had realized what was actually going on sooner.

[@KristinaVeshtort-Kask]

Damn, I'm so sorry, that's horrible.

[@yoricade]

I can't imagine how frightening that must have been! Could you maybe share some of the red flags for future reference?

[@kwolf2145]

Whyte inceldom is off the roof.

[@lamarlo4437]

He was mentally unstable

[@Vibebees]

@Theking10 she literally said everyone went ut of their way to be nice to him bc he was awkward and they didn't want him to feel not included. what you really meant to say was "well maybe if you had just had sex with him this wouldn't have happened." Men are not entitled to women's kindness, time, and certainly not their bodies.

[@ALBUMOF2008]

The incel movement is not dominated by white men. White men might be the face of it in popular media but incel culture is WORLD WIDE. Take South Korea and India for example.

[@jiribb9300]

This is very true

[@Gabster1990]

Those are both sexually repressed societies.

[@m0nz13]

i second this. I’d say the incel culture in Asia is fuelled by traditional culture as well.

[@yuyu4432]

yes. as an indian i can confirm that.

[@homosapien9526]

Don't forget Muslim men either.

[@heyashleinicole]

i have honestly found that the men who have to convince the world so often that they’re “nice guys” tend to be the most manipulative in nature

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

@Theking10 nice guys are actually not nice at all. They act nice to you for s--- x but if not given that then they will call degrading names

[@wilson8979]

@@justheretocommentokdontwan685 truth

[@ellay2715]

At least the bad guys are overtly manipulative, it’s so hard to spot in Nice Guys

[@shade3520]

@Theking10, not calling someone names for rejecting you isn't being nice, it's just being a normal person. It's literally just what we should expect from everyone. At least, that's how I see it.

[@rayeannebenemerito6435]

@Theking10 how is it someone's fault if they get manipulated? That makes 0 sense

[@elenaaguilarcastillo1932]

The idea of incels using the “red pill” term when it was invented by two trans female directors is just **chef’s kiss**

[@isabellecomment9737]

*Gasp* tell me more! Who are the directors?

[@chicpursuit]

@@isabellecomment9737 the Wachowski sisters, who directed the Matrix

[@hopeslover6778]

I'm a little confused did you mean trans women or trans men because you used females

[@CureSmileful]

@@hopeslover6778 they are trans women

[@loiccounil1031]

I believe they were still men when they made the matrix... and also Incels don't use the redpill they are more likely to use the blackpill or both

[@kirrahooper3991]

I will be remembering this one! “As a man you are more likely to be raped by another man than you are to be falsely accused of rape by a woman”. Like the amount of times I’ve had conversations about rape with male friends and they only want to bring up how women falsely accuse men of rape, and every one of them always knows some friend that it happened to. Like dude maybe your friend is just a rapist?!

[@4cps777]

Like dude, maybe in dubio pro reo is is just not humanitarian enough for your dream dystopia.

[@woahmoe4288]

THIS!!! I get so mad when my bfs friends do the same thing. Just because they’re nice to other guys doesn’t mean they aren’t also rapists…

[@Ministry_0f_Truth]

Golden rule: Never believe anything a feminist says. Especially not their "statistics" which are always twisted, cherry-picked and misinterpreted to make men look bad and women look good. Like the old lie about "1 in 5 women are raped" or "Gender pay gap 76 cents per dollar", and many many more. Even feminist "researchers" are known to lie, so why should we believe a random feminist on the internet?

[@odettedellage8021]

Actually if you discount the prison population, a man is far more likely to be a victim of a false accusation than to be a victim of rape.

[@leandrog2785]

@@odettedellage8021 Are you considering only the rape of males which were reported to the police? Because when a man gets raped (whether by a man or a woman), it's extremely unlikely he will report it.

[@The_Super_NOVA]

My friend dated a nice guy/pick me boy in high school. He always showered her with gifts and took her out on nice dates. Others in the friend group always told her she was lucky to have a guy who was so nice, sensitive, and generous. What we didn't see and later found out about was him trying to guilt trip her into getting physical with him. Basically, "oh I spent so much money on stuff for you and I'm so nice to you and I'm miserable because you won't say thank you by letting me have s*x with you." She kept pushing him away in situations like that, telling him she wanted to wait until marriage. They were already engaged, so it wouldn't have been a long wait. Then not long after they graduated, he attempted to r*pe her. She dumped him, he spread lies about her to the whole friend group, then publicly ignored her and her closest female friends to the point where it made everyone feel super awkward. These days, he posts nothing but pathetic nice guy memes about how women are cruel for not giving a nice guy like him the attention he craves.

[@gyg1910]

They were engaged before in high school. What 😐 how long they were together crazy story

[@The_Super_NOVA]

@@gyg1910 Yeaaaah my friend tended to "get engaged" to high school boyfriends. Happened with 3 different guys. I think this one lasted a year or so?

[@astro.choppa]

I have always thought of nice guy / pick me boys as victims of women but this comment changed my perspective drastically

[@Krissy_K888]

And he is the one who feels comfortable having an online presence, while the women they abused may be at risk just for having an online presence 😐

[@madicam]

I was friends with a pick me/nice guy for about over a year, we were really close friends and he liked me as more than that, so when he realised I would never like him back (I'm a lesbian, he knew that) he ended up getting extremely mad at me for that and started calling me 'narcissistic', 'sociopathic', and 'toxic' among many other things. honestly part of the reason I'm so sceptical of guys wanting to be friends with me.

[@nhvkuy4675]

I can relate! What you wrote coupled with your profile pic just make me wanna give you a hug 🤗

[@elliejones5550]

Bless you, I hope he’s far away from you now ❤️

[@JoeMama099]

It‘s the audacity for me… like what part of being a lesbian did he not get? What did he even expect? No actually I know…. he probably thought HE was so SPECIAL and AWESOME that he could „turn you straight“. Those type of guys are the worst!

[@livcaitbff]

It’s so so disappointing when you’re friends with someone and you find out all they see you as is a sexual object 😔

[@Likelyfairy]

@@livcaitbff I literally had two guy friends ( not friends with them anymore) make an alliance to try and get nudes from me…. Why some guys pretend not to understand where women are coming from is beyond me

[@fionastakelum2283]

I was once friends with a guy for about six months who declared himself as a male feminist. we were talking one night and I opened up to him about some really personal things and he kept telling me how unfortunate that was, then five minutes later he kept dropping hints about if I were to be asked out would I say yes, and I said I wasn’t in a good state of mind at that time, so no. he ended up blocking me and I never heard from him again. now I’m cynical about men like him

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

That guys a dick him blocking you and not contacting you is actually doing you a favor, cause that type of toxicity should not and has no place in your life. Also don't let that guy fog your head like that their are good well meaning male feminists out there.

[@nhvkuy4675]

Yeah, this type of guys are waiting when you are at your most vulnarable. It's so disgusting. My ex "friend" actually made a physical move on me and was trying to soduce me right after I shared that my previous partner was very abusive. It leaves you with such mixed feelings of missing a friend you though you had and feeling sooo disgusted and unable to trust guy friends again

[@fionastakelum2283]

@@nhvkuy4675 exactly, I felt abandoned after I opened up and it leaves you feeling like you never had a friend to begin with

[@nhvkuy4675]

@@fionastakelum2283 I would even call it a betrayal. My heart broke a little when I read your comment. It took me a minute to realize why. I bet most women have some story about such friends. This should stop being such wide spread behaviour. The good thing is that at least now they are being called out

[@siouiouioui]

don't know why they always need to specify "male feminist" when being a feminist isn't specific to one gender

[@Lynn-ee9hq]

So, basically...Nice Guys use emotional traps by saying, "Most girls don't like me because I'm ugly" and if you, as a girl, try to reassure them without feeling inclined to date them, you have to accept you're no better than the mean ones he was just talking about. It's a guilting technique.

[@pandazsleeping7038]

women do the same thing lmao

[@GoferGirl]

Yes, a guilting technique. That clarifies so much. Thank you for that!

[@pandazsleeping7038]

@@blossom5138 yes it does. You’re all women complaining about men lmao. Women always do the “I’m uglyyyyyy 🥺💔” on front of guys so they feel pressured to say something

[@errorsystemloadfail7991]

does that mean that its impossible for them to feel that way???

[@amme7681]

@@pandazsleeping7038 that's why they're called pick me:s and believe me, most women do like pick me:s.

[@hwchen39]

That statement about how all men benefit from the violence of some men really hit hard for me. As an East Asian woman, I've been in the midst of quite a few interactions with men who have accosted me at inappropriate times and ALL of them have been uncomfortable. The Atlanta shootings where Asian women specifically were targeted but the media kept trying to pass it off as "not racially motivated" or justified because "what if they were sex workers?", made my anxiety about this so much worse because I know if I get murdered by a white man in this country, I will not be afforded the same humanity as a white woman. So, when it recently happened to me again, I was afraid of turning down the guy "in the wrong way" and my first thought was literally "what if he's an incel and this triggers him to do something bad?"

[@skantewarrior109]

Move to to a non white country then just lol

[@aasha8759]

@@skantewarrior109 bruh wtf. You heard that, then blamed her and made her responsible? Smh you've missed the whole point of most of Jordan's channel

[@Kabullo76]

@@aasha8759 Jordan channel is garbage

[@aasha8759]

@@Kabullo76 then why are you watching this video?

[@studybuddy.]

SKANTEWARRIOR wow, did you wake up today and decide to be a bad person or is that an everyday thing for you?

[@nynke3744]

The thing is, often incels aren't physically unattractive per se. It's just their attitude, hatred towards women and themselves, and lack of self-confidence which makes them unappealing as (sexual) partners. It's a cycle which is really hard to get out of, I imagine.

[@mehulchoudhary5136]

Yeah homeless people aren't poor actually, it's their hatred towards money that makes them homeless.

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

@@mehulchoudhary5136 lol how are you comparing to being homeless to being an incel. Do you even use logic?

[@essaly7969]

I agree ! But some of them are unattractive across the board, though, and we shouldn't discredit that. It's like what people say to communities of people (most often women) with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. If someone who thinks of themselves as ugly hears yet another "oh no it's just in your head, you're sooo cute and perfect" talk, they're just going to feel bullshitted, not supported. There are people in this world that would be considered extremely unattractive by the majority. There are also average-looking people who focus on their flaws too much. Both end up with serious self-esteem issues that should be adressed, but these are still two distinct categories. Trying to convince insecure people that they're the prettiest thing only reinforces the idea that if they were ugly, they would be lesser. So instead of treating ugliness as an accusation, I think we should get rid of the idea that being beautiful makes you inherently better.

[@mehulchoudhary5136]

@@thesevenkingswelove9554 you know there is no point of explaining logic to birthing persons. You all are in state of self denial. The comment by @Essaly has explained my logic very well

[@josukeshair8891]

@@mehulchoudhary5136 I see that u are everywhere..wow...

[@pixiequeer]

a really important point in the creation of "involuntary celibacy" is that the originator of the term was a bisexual woman, and biphobia played a massive part in her struggles with dating!

[@tonkababic9826]

Interesting but also make sense. Unfortunately as Bi, you get shit from both side and dating is easier if you dont come out as bisexual (witch shouldn't be a case)

[@ExeErdna]

That's why I don't like to use Incel as a derogatory term since there's those that are legit like that. Not what could be more categorized as "Black Pill" types

[@lukebruce5234]

The term was used a century ago. She only coined the short version "incel"

[@clairewillow6475]

@@lukebruce5234 well the short version is what took off

[@lukebruce5234]

@@clairewillow6475 yeah it has it's just a word after all

[@karmaismyboyfriend8]

I once retweeted something about the gender pay gap and was immediately trolled by three random men who each had some variation of "I'm a nice guy' in their twitter bio... On a slightly separate note, any boy or man who views women as alien, unattainable creatures who reject them but they still want is a potentially dangerous one.

[@ronnie5329]

Isnt the gender pay gap mostly that men work longer hours, and more years. I.e. are more important to the company, and usually women would have had less time in the work place, since its normally women taking the kids first sick days at home, and in general are the glue the hold everything together. which is hard work by itself.

[@afkmelody]

the gender pay gap is real but it's not real because of the "patriarchy". The data that is used for promoting the gender pay gap is the average of what women vs mem get paid across many different fields of works and positions - not how much women get paid in the exact same position putting in the exact same amount of hours, vacation, sick days and time spent at home after birth. It doesn't prove anything about an actual injustice in the pays, just that women overall work less then men or overall have worse paying positions (and also that feminist propaganda doesn't care to explain the data they use in a truthful way).

[@morgannyan2738]

Women always talk about themselves as if theyre this different otherworldy group that needs to be treated special, so being treated like aliens is something yall have done to yourself. Also the gender pay gap has been debunked many times. You dont have to be a genius to figure out companies wouldnt break the law so they could not hire women

[@Gromkiii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/r6vQgombn7dpl5o Female CEO Tells Truth about feminist women in tech entryists, Ahhh..... Feminists greatest enemy..... A woman who thinks.

[@jadecoolness101]

@@afkmelody you're conveniently leaving out that male dominated fields are actively hostile to women, and women dominated fields (such as nurses and teachers) are horrendously underpaid.

[@1999SRoldan]

I once had a friend that dared to tell me “You know, I was actually happy you didn’t win that UK scholarship because maybe I would have an opportunity with you”. Of course I cut him up and to this day he says awful stuff about me.

[@medea4751]

what the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk

[@thiswillnotdo6027]

I feel like people don't talk about how dangerous these things can escalate to enough. We all know it's funny and a meme on the internet when we talk about these men, but theres a reason incel communities on the internet had to be shut down, there have been literal SHOOTINGS in public areas targeted at women by these groups. This is so much more than people who feel sorry for themselves, this ideology can nurture some very dangerous people who hate women.

[@thirza_]

She literally said this all in the vid

[@elliot04877]

There are millions of incels and there have been like what? 20 shootings? that is less than 0,1% of the incel population.

[@thirza_]

@@elliot04877 okay incel

[@elliot04877]

@@thirza_ Using buzzwords is not an argument and just dumbs down diacussion

[@gwencaster6485]

@@elliot04877 0,1 percent is quite a high precentage when it comes to murder, actually (I hope you realise that). very hateful ideologies are always a bad way to go and are negative for everyone. if you feel unhappy about something and can get support from people who understand you and perhaps are able to help you, that's a good thing, but personal issues shouldn't result in a serious, aggressive hate against a certain group of people, certain peaceful movements etc. or yourself. No one should be comfortable aligning themselves with a group centred around hate

[@seraphica6539]

This reminds me of an experience I had with a "nice" guy, he would always talk about how he got dumped and how he had low self-esteem and other unfortunate things. I decided to listen to his problems, advise him and help him out if he needed anything. I saw him as a friend because at the time I was having no sense of attraction to anyone and all of a sudden he tells me that he likes me. I was stunned obviously because he had only been nice to me and I guess he expected me to feel something for him and when I confessed that I didn't he literally said "This is why I don't make friends with fEmAlEs" excuse me? You expect me to be romantically attracted to you just because you were nice to me? I was offended and I called him out on his underlying misogyny, he didn't speak to me for weeks only for him to message me saying that his parents are getting a divorce and he doesn't know what to do. I still felt bad for him and despite what he had said I still decided to help him (my mistake ig) and he ended up blocking me because I told him that I still wasn't interested. It's so funny.

[@incharak1927]

So gross where do they get the audacity???!

[@seraphica6539]

@@incharak1927 I really wish I knew 😭

[@seabreeze4559]

never give out free therapy, it attracts all the crazies

[@seabreeze4559]

@@incharak1927 sneaky f-ker strategy, they feign (usually from a personality disorder) that they need help and women, being socially conditioned to care for children, will usually fall for the bait

[@pronoydutta614]

Hmm.. sounds like an ass. It's ok to help people. Men don't grow up with richer emotional engagement the way women do. Him being nice to you may have been perceived by him as doling out an extremely precious resource that's only reserved for fellow bros, parents or occasional altruism. To a degree, men are naturally like this emotionally from the massive amounts of testosterone deadening them(helps them in other ways. They can endure a lot.). They also get flak from both genders for being emotionally vulnerable, romantically or otherwise. He probably didn't want that rejection because it would hurt his ego immensely. Men don't have a lot emotionally when growing up. Ego validation is them settling because they don't know or believe in anything better at the time. It's partially a parenting issue, but I'm going off on a tangent. It's not an excuse for the behavior (not good or healthy according to men either... i hope).

[@devaunbeats]

Man I was a nice guy up until I was like.. 20, 21? It took me losing someone I cared about because of my ridiculousness before I started to reform myself. Thankfully I was never one to insult the women who rejected me, I was more of a "woe is me" kind of nice guy. Glad those days are gone.

[@elruby1107]

Tbh It's very admirable that you have admitted that it means that you are growing as a person kudos to you

[@valeries0817]

i just recognized that im kind of a "nice guy" like this,but i honestly dont know what to do rn.Can you give me several advices on how can i fix myself?

[@ChristopherJames1993]

​@@valeries0817it's a mindset thing. Change how you think. Of you think you're entitled to sex or love because you're there for someone. I'd rather have female friends than girlfriends because a woman will always be there when you need her until you start using her as a fucktoy. Cherish women. Learn from your mistakes and actively change how you think and you'll be fine.

[@wd7643]

@@valeries0817 Chris is wrong bro, having a girlfriend that respects and admires you in better than a bunch of platonic women friends. What you actually need to do is cultivate masculine traits. I am assuming you’re attracted to heterosexual women. Those types of women are attracted to masculine energy. Confidence, responsibility, focus, direction, protection, discipline, and assertiveness are a few “positive masculine” traits that you’d benefit from. Confidence comes from you being someone who you’re proud to be. I’m proud of myself for quitting pornography, illicit drugs, and alcohol. I feel good when I get stronger in the gym as a result of being consistent and hitting my nutrition goals. I have career goals I am working towards since I went back to college a few years ago. Right now I’m working on being assertive and having meaningful conversations. To do that I have to be clear, concise, direct and set boundaries. I’m adding substance to my conversations by going deep instead of staying surface level. I’m not afraid of controversial topics and disagreeing with others.

[@amberdelange]

@@valeries0817be open and straightforward and don’t play games. Don’t be friends with a girl/woman just because you want sex or a relationship with her, if that’s what you want, make your intentions clear. If you genuinely want to be friends with her, be friends, but then respect her as a person and a friend if she doesn’t want more than friendship. As someone who doesn’t have a lot of friends I really really value friendship. Friendships are so much more important than relationships and when relationships end, it’s friends who are there to help you pick up the pieces. I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreak and have wished I had more close friends at times. If someone wants to be your friend that’s absolutely something to cherish. That being said; toxic dynamics where a guy is trying to be friends with a girl, because they want more, and the girl in question being aware of his feelings and not allowing him to move on from her, do exist. To an insecure person, having someone around who they know has feelings for them, can give a sense of safety, even when they themselves aren’t interested, this might result in a constant push and pull, which is toxic and unhealthy for both parties involved. If you end up in a dynamic like that, rather than drawing the conclusion that all women friend zone men and then keep them around for emotional support, consider that she actually just might not be a nice person, or a good friend, and move on to be friends with people who treat you and your feelings with more respect. And no, more respect does not equal sex.. You always have agency. If someone rejects you, you cannot control their feelings towards you, but you CAN control how you respond to that. You can choose to walk away entirely, or you can choose to be friends. You can choose to respond in a mature way, and that is how you regain your sense of control. I have been rejected many times in my life, and I haven’t always reacted maturely to that, but the times I did, I’ve felt a lot more agency.

[@TheKinseth]

Reading the comments underlines a very important fact that incels/Nice Guys don't understand: People don't like to spend time with someone who is always depressed/talking down about themselves/pessimistic/etc. because *it's draining.* It's a vicious cycle. If all you do is piss and moan about how girls don't like you, or you're so underappreciated, or whatever, then people are going to stop wanting to be around you and your life will genuinely get worse and more lonely over time. If you fixate on one disappointing part of your life too much, you blind yourself to the good things you do have. Your friends--of all genders--want to feel appreciated and valued, and if you spend most of your time complaining about your romantic or sexual relationships (or lack thereof) when you're with them, then they won't be your friends for very long.

[@wolfsmith7285]

Ok and? Like f*** you, because there is no solution facef***

[@theaether4009]

And yet history shows a ton of women like to fix men when they’re feeling down. The way random rude ass (noticeable minority for me) women treat me when I’m emotionless, tired, and halfway to complaining is funny. Nice guy is just the term entitled women are using to describe men they hate to the point they would never have sex with and hope other women won’t too. I’ve literally met women who shower attention to clowns and gay dudes to inspire jealously simply because they caught me smiling one day. I’ve been around some women who try to remind others that some guys are sexist, put hands on them out of jealously and spite, and have extreme egos. They get shut down of course because idfk.

[@thecrystaltide3757]

why is incel vocabulary so viscerally nauseating 😖😖😖

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

Yep

[@dc9067]

Because the participants themselves are nauseating.

[@cancelled_user]

Incels and most feminists can shake each other's hands when it comes to use such vocabularies.

[@keeysOST]

I swear to God if I hear "Chad" again I'll probably die.

[@thecrystaltide3757]

wow there's two of them in the comments rn 👀👀 y'all know we can see your comment history right?? embarassing 🤦🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️

[@Hexgirl239]

I also didn't like how Hugo during his recouping speech was talking as if he has the moral high ground and suddenly cares about how girls are treated in the villa but said nothing when Toby did the same thing (if not slightly worse) with Kaz. If I remember correctly he was even encouraging Toby to crack on with Chloe and didn't see any issue with the fact that Toby did it completely behind Kaz's back

[@jordanatheresa]

omg yes definitely!

[@eseodia7105]

Guys like that are nice and show respect to women they are ATTRACTED to.

[@JKchick62]

I feel like guy like Hugo do t understand they're misogynistic. Which shows how normalises and rampant it is in society. It reminds me of internalised misogyny

[@thinair7671]

Toby and kaz were very early days before anyone had formed bonds properly tbf

[@os6078]

lmaoo exactly, it cracked me up when chloe still went back to toby anyway hahahaa, the "nice guy" failed once again

[@jacquelinej4819]

When I met my husband I was shocked at how kind he was. He would do nice things both for me and others, just to do them. I had dated so many “nice guys” that genuine kindness seemed so strange. I remember I used to ask him “where are your horns?” But he didn’t have any and he thought it was strange that I had such big reactions to things like him picking me up from the airport, cooking dinner, or cleaning the apartment. My previous dating experiences where with guys who needed me to know every “nice” thing they did. It was a constant ledger I has to work against. But kindness doesn’t work like that. It’s not about creating debts, or power over people.

[@jacquelinej4819]

@Theking10 I mean I've known a lot women, especially when I was younger, who where going through very self centered stages in their lives, and who still had guys chasing after them. I know part of that is age, there are men who like to chase young women. Most of these woman have matured past that stage, or I've fallen out of contact with them so I don't know. Meanwhile I truly tried to be a "nice girl" I always tried to show up for others, and listen, and do the emotional work with people. But guys didn't give me as much attention, and that was ok, I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm diffinently not a cool girl. Me being nice did not mean that I deserved more romantic attention then my more self centered acquaintances. Even though sometimes that felt unfair to me. The guys that did date me always thought of themselves as nice guys, but also made sure I knew how replacable I was to them, I was not highly valued. I had learn to respect myself enough to learn these men where not my responisblity. It was not my job to keep their attention, and I wasn't going to "heal" their personalities into treating me well. I took a couple years off dating until I could approach it with joy and a sense of adventure again. When I was in my late twenties I met my husband, he was so kind, and I tried to be just as kind to him. From the start of the relationship there has been a lack of power plays, and we are both really open about the fact we value each other. Resentment is so easy to pick up on, and is so uncomfortable to be around. I know the fact that when I started dating again that I had honest to goodness joy for each date I went on, even if it was just a walk that didn't lead to another date helped me find someone who also had a lot of joy. Anyway yes, human are complex creatures, and a lot of us have weird attachment styles. Not sure what else to say...

[@Paula-zt9ol]

I relate to this a lot, although in different ways. I’m glad you find a man who values you and treats you with respect now. 🙏🏻💕

[@Paula-zt9ol]

@Theking10 lmao it’s a public comment section so no 😂😂

[@Paula-zt9ol]

@Theking10 I’m sorry your life is this sad 😂😂

[@marcusappelberg369]

A big problem I think as a man is that we learn, many times, that talking about our emotional needs and taking care of them with other men is gay, and not something to be done. Which leads to many meen feeling that only women can take care of their emotional needs, leading to a desperation which can easily trigger anger when being rejected.

[@vindric8330]

That's interesting, if needed and comfortable enough, I hope men would open up more. But when we say things like that, some men would say it's just as making them weak and it will be used as an insult like- I can't believe men showing emotions and being vulnerable would be seen as weakness up to this day. I wonder if someone did hurt him for being vulnerable, it doesn't make every women be a jerk, same goes to men.

[@michaelangst6078]

The thing is no woman is going to care about some average looking dudes problems in life when he whines to her about his looks, or his shitty etc.. it is a huge turn off.. Let's be honest, unless you're quite attracted to a woman, most men are not going to care about them bitching about their life all the time either

[@marcusappelberg369]

@@michaelangst6078 There is a big difference between whinying and being generally vulnerable. Whinying is not that attractive, and could often be a red flag. I don't think it's attractive when women do it either, and I'm a heterosexual man. However, to be vulnerable sometimes and to own it and opening up to her and letting her into your world so she can see you as a real person is attractive. There have even been scientific studies where they let men and women open up to each other in this way, and most of the participants ended up dating. It is a show of strenght, because by not opening up you show her that you are affraid to show her your true self, and she will feel rejected and shut out because of it. By opening up you show her that you own who you are, are not afraid to be judged and that you trust her. However, only open up to good people. Narcissists and those like them will use your vulnerability against you. One can always test people by opening up a little about non sensitive things.

[@michaelangst6078]

@@marcusappelberg369 I agree with you, but the problem is most women will find an average looking dude ''opening up''' as a man bitching about life and most will find it unattractive. You combine this with barely being attracted to the guy in the first place, and women will lose all respect they have for the dude... Obviously this isn't always the case, but it probably is more often than not... How do I know this?? Just look at youtube videos about men bitching about life... The amount of women who try to comfort the guy is very small parentage, and the men who comment will be saying this is why the blackpill exists etc.... If an average looking woman makes a video bitching about life, Most of the comments will be super positive saying how pretty the woman is from both men and women.... There is a massive difference

[@marcusappelberg369]

@@michaelangst6078 This is not my experience, and I consider myself pretty average as a guy, although liking and valuing myself. Then again I value women's friendship as much as romantic connections, and let things go where they naturally goes. So if I open up to a woman who's a friend and she is comforting me that feels equally good. And is pretty nice to just be without playing this game of trying to impress her or being on your best. Maybe average or not is a mindset, and it is also about differences between attraction. Someone can see you as the hottest thing since sliced bread while others are not attracted at all. That's life. It is more important to put faith in your own opinion of yourself and like yourself than listen to others. :)

[@trinaq]

I'm so glad that the entitled Nice Guy trope is steadily dying down now. Ross Geller, Ted Mosby and Dawson Leery should REALLY start an "Entitled Nice Guy" support group, since their toxic behaviour REALLY hasn't held up well over the years.

[@lucycortis8334]

off topic but i see you everywhere we must have the same recommended 😩

[@sxwriter8569]

I haven't seen Friends or How I Met Your Mother, what did they do?

[@lucycortis8334]

@@sxwriter8569 they’re just basic nice guys like how jordan explained. they were nice until things didn’t go their way

[@FassoliaPlaki]

Oh god Ted was just the worst, wasn't he? Always portrayed as the good guy, ugh. And so freakin entitled, the way he didn't take no for an answer from Robin for so long is the main reason I hated the finale so much.

[@seraphica6539]

Ted Mosby is such a loser and it's unfortunate that it took me a while to realise that

[@thiswillnotdo6027]

psa: you are not a nice person if you can't handle a "no"

[@kaylanek1]

period

[@anagatto66]

them thinking all relationships are based on looks and not personality really emphasizes their dehumanization of the human interaction

[@Hayley-kp6wt]

I feel like distinguishing “incel” and “virgin” in general culture is the most effective catalyst to the incel pipeline. Nothing wrong with being a virgin, everything wrong with being an incel

[@cancelled_user]

Just try to have a conversation with feminists. As soon as they find out that you disagree with them on something, you'll be labelled as "incel" or "misogynist" or at least "sexist".

[@Hayley-kp6wt]

@@cancelled_user if that happens to you frequently enough to be your expected norm, have you considered if they are, in fact, appropriate terms? Are you the victim of false labelling by every woman you engage with, who likely have no connection to each other, or are they calling a spade a spade? Just food for thought

[@Hayley-kp6wt]

@Gwapa snuna you couldn’t pull either of those suggestions from the OC if you tried, which I assume must mean you’ve mistakenly replied to the wrong comment?

[@cancelled_user]

@@Hayley-kp6wt Are you paying attention to what you are reading? And are you actually thinking about it? Firstly, I wasn't talking only about myself. Can you see that in my post? I see other people talking to feminists as well and I see how feminists react. Secondly, not "every woman". I was talking about FEMINISTS, which most women are not. Also, there are some male feminists as well (they are usually the ones blaming other men most).

[@Hayley-kp6wt]

@@cancelled_user possessing the disillusion that most women aren’t feminists is your first mistake. And I stand by my point, it sounds like you’re gaining these labels from sought out conflict, if multiple strangers are claiming you’re misogynistic, it could be valuable to at least ponder whether they have a point, or whether it serves you to engage such conversations at all

[@joeyjojos5839]

I fell for a pick-me/nice guy. He acted like he was so respectful and nice to women (I'm not a girl but I'm afab nonbinary) and acted like feminism was really important to him. Also did the whole "I'm sensitive uwu. No one understands me because I have depression." Of course, cut to when I'm unhappy because he's contributed nothing to the relationship and he cries and tells me I'm horrible for calling him out on it. Literally got told I was greedy for asking for more time with him even though we only saw each other once a week. Never again.

[@captainjoy8976]

Oh I fell for one too.. Ended in me technically being raped in the relationship because "uwu he needs it and if I cannot give it to him he has to leave me uwu"

[@captainjoy8976]

Oh also hi fellow nb! Just found out this year that nb is a thing i was feeling my whole lif :)

[@joeyjojos5839]

@@captainjoy8976 That's so awful. I hope you're doing ok now either alone or with someone who loves and respects you!

[@georginalouise95]

@@captainjoy8976 the same thing happened to me. I had undiagnosed endometriosis at the time we were together and I found sex extremely painful, they told me that they thought I was lying and that I didn’t want to have sex with them because they were ugly. When they felt I was starting to get sick of how I was being treated in the relationship they went with me to the doctor to get my contraceptive implant removed and proceeded to try to get me pregnant, they told me if I didn’t want a baby with them it showed that I was never actually interested in them. I was 19 at the time and he was 26… when we broke up he came to my place of work and proposed to me in front of all my colleagues. He then stalked me for 6 years until he got a warning from the police last year. Luckily I am now in a healthy loving relationship and have had treatment for the endo and also the ptsd he left me with

[@EF-kk3vh]

@@georginalouise95 I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I’m really happy for you that you’re safe now :) sending love

[@simamahutova]

19:24 If youre having to convince women that you are a nice guy, maybe youre not that much ofa nice guy. Legendary line.

[@llcooldrockindahouse4631]

See that's what this guy called the king10 kept stating. He repetitively said he was a nice guy while I was sifting thru the comments and I also observed this as well. Again hate to break it but Jordan is speaking truth.

[@Slothyy333]

Growing up is realizing you were a pick me boy, and doing your absolute best to move away from that mentality.

[@EmyN]

Nice

[@user-lk7cv8vg7r]

I had the phase too. 13 years later after moving off of it, I still get a pang of shame from it across my mind.

[@ishwaaq191]

I remember hearing of men’s right references and I thought they were like focusing on issues that affected men (as well as others) like mental health, dismantling toxic masculinity, helping men gain custody of their kids to prevent them from being put into the system if the mother can’t look after them etc. I googled what actual movement is fighting for and It was literally nothing like I thought

[@ronnie5329]

Its a very fragmented scene, i do think some of the mras are way too focused on the opposite gender, but there are plenty of men who are focused on mens mental health. since its still a bit of a taboo to talk about

[@prxncess6463]

Yeah and I honestly feel that MeN's RiGhTs was a movement that was supposed to be made against feminism just like how ALM was a movement made against BLM.... that's why I don't support it. Period.

[@thornofrage794]

The problem with MRAs, incels and MGTOWs is that they weaponise men's issues.

[@prxncess6463]

@Dustin Stich what? Lmao...😂💀

[@strawberryshortcake5505]

@Dustin Stich please explain

[@trinaq]

In a world full of "Nice Guys", be a genuinely "Good Man" instead.

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

himbo's are are a good example of what "nice guys" think they are... but instead their just incels who think being "nice" to a woman is what's going to make her fall over for him but it's not. Unlike the himbo who is clueless at times he's a man with a heart of gold who happens to be very attractive P.S i just recently saw you on The Take's channel lol

[@beyondtheradio]

@@tobiaslawrence8928 I would call my husband a himbo, but he also has a degree in math and philosophy. haha but he can be kind of a dumbass non academically...not that I am much better.

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

@@beyondtheradio does he have a body of a himbo? because if he's smart and not particulaly buff but fit he's a hunk lol

[@blvckemo_]

@@tobiaslawrence8928 you really have no knowledge on incels they are not nice guys they do not like your gender6

[@livingdream2284]

Same thing

[@tajashania]

screaming at you calling georgia ‘grace’, that woman has suffered enough 😭🤣

[@acelya414]

she can’t catch a break 😭😭😭😭

[@catsareawesome4022]

yes, but she was the absolute grace of the season

[@writingthewrong5376]

I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING 😅🤣

[@feliciamew2653]

she looks like a grace!!!

[@logeyperogi1805]

I USED to be that kinda guy But funny enough, I felt better when I got rejected with an “Oh well” attitude than I did when I had a “That’s not how this is supposed to go” attitude It was then that I realized I would rather strive to be a good person, than to be a nice person

[@lr5848]

A few weeks ago I watched a documentary about incels. One individual was questioned about his view on himself, women and dating. He viewed himself as physically unattractive, which to him was the reason women didn't like him. Cause, so he said, they were "wired" to only get attracted by looks. In his dreamworld women get assigned to men, so everybody has the partner the males "deserve". I wouldn't care if a guy who says this looks like Chris Hemsworth. This view on women as possession and the entitlement is a raging turn off. It's fascinating, that incels suffer so much and spiral down in a behavior, that makes it almost impossible to find a meaningful relationship.

[@katarina5651]

Men have absolutely no idea how “natural” really looks like.

[@tysolbohan6446]

You my friend are breathing copium oxide transition to a male and see how easy life is

[@absolutelychampagne]

What*

[@tysolbohan6446]

@@absolutelychampagne Copium oxide refers to people who live and breath delusion

[@luxwolf8858]

@@tysolbohan6446 It's way better.

[@absolutelychampagne]

@@tysolbohan6446 I was correcting the original comment that's why I put a '*'

[@isaidwhatisaid4130]

One thing that always baffled me was that these “nice guys” will reject women that they do not find attractive over chasing women out of their leagues and when these women want to date someone as attractive as them instead of a “nice guy” all of sudden they’re called Shallow and “ Girls only like bad boys”, “ Nice guys finish last”. My mom always told me: “ Never feel sorry for a man because while he might be crying for you, he’s making other 3 women cry.”

[@gh0s1wav]

So everyone should find their "league" and stay in it?

[@bluemoonriver1926]

@@gh0s1wav lol yeah, like the video literally proves that you can be very good looking like Hugo and still be a pick me or nice guy kinda a bad take

[@maribautistaaquino411]

Tú mamá realmente sabía

[@EmpressEmiyah]

@@gh0s1wav you shouldnt shame women for wanting a "hot" guy while you reject women you dont deem pretty enough for you. its hypocritical

[@gh0s1wav]

@@EmpressEmiyah i agree with that. I just don't view leagues as being a thing due to dating being so subjective.

[@AmieReva]

"They'll grow out of it" gives me the same vibes as "boys will be boys".

[@pleasedontfailusproduction1968]

"Focus on your goals and find your happiness, the rest will come." Best lesson my uncle taught me before he passed.

[@scarletjohanson4307]

The book she mentioned was REALLY great. Like the author even quoted several things she found in the incel website and it was just plain disturbing. The book also talks about pickup artists who seem really different from incels on the surface but actually have so many similarities with them. I seriously recommend the book.

[@val6nt9ne]

what was the book called? i didn’t catch it

[@scarletjohanson4307]

@@val6nt9ne Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists, the Truth about Extreme Misogyny and how it Affects Us All

[@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax]

@Dustin Stich No it doesn't. They are sold a delusion. You don't need a pick up artist to tell you that dating is a numbers game.

[@pure_heroinne]

​@@val6nt9neMen who hate women by Laura Bates

[@geronimo5537]

Honestly I did not know these types of men had a term. Because its so wide spread. There are actual youtube channels all about blaming women and being oppressed. I watch a just to get their perspective and its just as confusing since I started. This video really helped to shape that into what it is and why/how it exists. Because I really dont understand such a mindset of blaming others for all your problems to such a degree.

[@ibrahimkamityoutube]

omg i forgot how much i missed your content!! you're so engaging and entertaining I love it.

[@Grace-ig7vm]

HI IBRAHIM!! What a crossover by two of my favorite youtubers💅

[@bluemoongirl28]

i see u kingggg

[@jordanatheresa]

thank you !!!!

[@user-wo2hr2oj9i]

I just came from your recent video!!!

[@CB-dy1he]

Love to see faves supporting faves! 💕

[@STEPXMoney]

Struggling to find romantic connections and being frustrated about it is not harmful in and of itself; that is a very human experience that most people can relate with. However, getting angry because you think you're automatically owed sex and being resentful towards people for having standards and exercising free will is harmful behavior.

[@zlatkotasevski9609]

I know its a serious topic but the word "feemoid" is so funny to me. I burst out laughing

[@llcooldrockindahouse4631]

The way she said it was 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@zlatkotasevski9609]

@@llcooldrockindahouse4631 Feeeemoid

[@thatonedog819]

I had a friend that would try to hide the fact that he was friends with women whenever he was interested in a woman romantically. I always told him that any sane woman would see that as a red flag. Not just that women would think he had no women friends, but that he was HIDING them was an even bigger one. What was his gf going to think when she inevitably found out about his women friends?

[@pinkimietz3243]

If she's smart she would recognize that he doesn't value women. He has no respect for them and is an awful person for that. She should tell his "friends" how he really thinks about them and then break up. Easy.

[@thatonedog819]

@@pinkimietz3243 oh we knew what he was doing and he would tell us too. He'd say that he would tell them when he was more secure with them. Eventually we got sick of him dropping us when he was interested in someone.

[@jamesmiles4159]

Unfortunately some women have a tendency to get insanely jealous of a man's female friends so its understandable that he may want to hide this, particularly early on in the relationship.

[@welcometovibespace5596]

@@jamesmiles4159 then he shouldn’t be with the woman, not hide his friends, just stay away from the toxic crush

[@thatonedog819]

@@jamesmiles4159 I feel like I'd want to know that early on

[@AllYourFlowers]

Hugo's "job done" comment killed me. Also his "feels real nice being left out" after no girl kissed him during the challenge. Like what was the alternative, for one of the girls to kiss him against their will just to make him feel better?

[@emmaatkins8678]

And he said the same thing about his new gf in his IG caption, it won't last he is a whole ick...

[@crossovermultiverse3882]

Hugo with his huge ego

[@KaylaTheKindOne]

When I was younger I looked into the incel subreddit (which I believe has been deleted), hoping that if I showed them some kindness and understanding as a woman it would help them somehow. The exact memories of my interaction with the community is foggy nowadays, but I do remember eventually realizing my efforts were in vain and leaving the subreddit. The community is very sad, but I just want any girl out there who has an "I can fix/heal him" mentality to realize that you cant. Its not even your responsibility.

[@mophead_xu]

the advice about seeing men who has no female friends at all as a red flag actually awaken me to another red flag that is unfortunately very common amongst straight indonesian women: if they think men having female friends is a red flag, then _they_ are the red flags. 😬 separation between males and females (as sexes) in our society ran so deep to the point that actual platonic relationship between men and women are often seen as odd by both groups. like i remember back in high school one of my class mate (male) was really good friends with our other class mate (female) but every time he hung out with his then girlfriend he had to BLOCK all contacts with his close friend and delete their chat history bc his gf would go through his phone and get mad if she sees our classmate in it. and everyone treated it as a mild nuisance. i, too, wrote it off as "borderline toxic" instead of downright toxic. yikes yikes yikes.

[@hamilcarluxemburg5266]

I like how you pointed out that being nice doesn't equal being attractive. Some people push the idea that the bar for men is so low you just have to be nice and women will want to date you. This is kind of true the bar for men is low but just being nice doesn't entitle you to anything and doesn't mean any women in particular will fancy you. Some men take this way too far the other way though and say women only want men that are mean to them which is obviously bollocks.

[@anni1348]

Yeah, like the guy who committed a mass shooting on women and sadly got celebrated for it, i don't remember his name. There photos of him online, and he was in many people's (subjective, because beauty/attractiveness is always subjective) opinion physically attractive. He was obviously insecure about himself, these incels tend make themselves smaller for their own looks. But in reality it was his disgusting/ugly attitude towards women, which made him lonely, frustrated and undesirable for women. It's actually disturbing how easily it is for incels communities to groom on insecure boys and radicalize them for their own sick believes.

[@seabreeze4559]

puppies are nice, nobody wants to F a puppy

[@seabreeze4559]

@@anni1348 undiagnosed personality disorders, especially BPD they complain they only attract BPD women, when it's often a projection of their own symptoms like attracts like

[@longassrice8756]

Well the bar is low for everyone in some capacity or another, I wish people would acknowledges that.

[@eaglestown4609]

*man

[@poofy917]

I think it is also important to discuss how our cultural railroads young men into these toxic spaces. Once the KZbin algorithm identifies you as a young man interested in video games it seems to slam your feed full of ben shapiro and jordan peterson.

[@botanicalitus4194]

the YT algorithm is hell

[@ranaib1018]

Really?

[@paperigangsta]

YES also how many of these creators/online spaces basically target young autistic men (not necessarily conciously but it is pretty clear that that is what ends up happening)

[@christinetobiasz]

I’ve never seen that on based on watching video games streams on YT

[@poofy917]

@@christinetobiasz I would bet the algorithm only feeds you that crap if they know you are male. It probably also doesn't help that a lot of popular gaming channels are men with right wing leanings, i.e. pewdeipie. In my opinion, Shapiro and Peterson are the gateway to incel misogamy. Thankfully, I never went full incel, but I feel like KZbin is what exposed me to that thought process in the first place.

[@julioangelmoyanovalderas3914]

I am a boy who have experience in the past thoughts as: "women prefer douchy guys rather than nice guys". Now I think that I have experienced the situation where one person is interested in you but you are not attracted to them, and it was very troublesome for me I also hated when women wouldn't straight up rejected me cause I couldn't understand what they were meaning with it or what was my problem. I had no idea that they would do that out of afraid of the consequences of rejecting a bad guy. I have watched a lot of anime and I think that the "nice guy syndrome" could be related to many romcom series, where a pretty normal (rather boring) guy gets tons of girls just by being nice to them. I am really glad that I have watched your video. It has opened my mind. Thank you 😁

[@sting0262]

And you are still single while Chad is fking all the girls. Congrats! 😁

[@onearth5132]

That generic anime male protagonist (esp in harem anime) is so real 😐 it's trope like this that made me stop watching anime

[@orangemanlemonstand9640]

I really hate the labels that people give each other like "alpha", "sigma", "beta", and "nice guys", etc. -- it's just so toxic and annoying for people to think in these terms like other people are some kind of monolithic beings that can only fit into a prescribed box, or have to be a certain way to gain acceptance from society. I don't get it, just live your life, in the moment, and stop caring about what other people think of you all the time.

[@B0BBYJ4CK]

I've read close to 50 comments and yours makes the most sense. it's so easy to put labels on someone you don't know.

[@orangemanlemonstand9640]

@gone over the horizon Well, it really depends on how much value you give to others' perceptions of you. If you let other people dictate what you should or shouldn't be, then you'll live according to how others want you to live, instead of how you want to. However, at the end of the day, I think it comes down to us whether or not we let those perceptions affect us. It's not really about telling yourself a comforting lie as it is valuing yourself, and learning that only what you think should matter. I know it can feel like we have to cater ourselves to act a certain way for people, but we really don't. If you are always putting on an act in front of other people, you'll only be an actor wearing several masks, but you'll never actually be your authentic self. That's what makes those labels so damaging, and what makes catering to them all the more toxic. People should be themselves, and stop catering to others' perceptions. I hope that you don't see a world where you can act as yourself as a lie, but rather as something you haven't yet allowed yourself to have :)

[@OJ1992]

True women like this are just as bad as Andrew Tate....in fact I'm sure a lot of young guys probably think okay I'll not be nice anymore I'll be alpha male..... 😳

[@hatersrmotivators6477]

@@orangemanlemonstand9640 their r also nice girls mean pick me up.

[@orangemanlemonstand9640]

@@hatersrmotivators6477 I think I would ratio you in a fight just based on your grammar.

[@oliviac295]

I can’t believe incels think that women won’t sleep with someone who isn’t the most conventionally attractive person they’ve ever met. Some studies have actually shown that men that are considered conventionally attractive aka ‘chad’ are less likely to be egalitarian, and personally, that would make me less interested in them. A lot of the people I’ve had crushes on have traits that men are often insecure about- acne, thinness, skin marks, etc. and I find when you are drawn to someone’s personality it makes them more attractive. It’s almost like incels assume women judge men in the same way that they judge women; objectifying them.

[@incharak1927]

Definitely most of these incels want an absolutely gorgeous woman who's never had a boyfriend while have no personality what so ever

[@anni1348]

@@incharak1927 Thats the irony of it, these incels communities mostly complain that women these days have way too high standards and they all just want super attractive rich guys. While it's actually the incels who overvalue physical beauty over everything and therefore only want women who look flawless.

[@lukebruce5234]

@@incharak1927 you are projecting men have virtually no standards

[@llcooldrockindahouse4631]

See that's their deranged fantasy fairy tale. Sorry it sounds mean but yes.

[@llcooldrockindahouse4631]

An interesting thing about their belief that all women want a man's pocket money, my beautiful cousin , and two of my female friends very attractive BTW they said NO to me offering to send them money and if I sent them money they wd get mad at me. See its the fantasy land these guys live in. Hate to say it.

[@fresapreso1491]

HAHAHAHAHA In the Philippines, we call them Sadbois. It's become a trend to make fun of Sadbois here too. This message has been copy pasted all over the Internet recently and it became a meme: (Just click the translate button to help you understand) di ko napansin, Haha sorry sabi ko na nga ba e. Sorry sa istorbo haha. ayaw talaga sakin ng mundo, life is so unfair. Sana hindi nalang ako nag tanong haha. Sensya na ah, eto lang kasi ako. Walang kwenta. Sana di nalang ako pinanganak haha, I'm just a simple person kasi, lowkey. I am just nobody. Walang magkakagusto sa walang kwentang tao katulad ko haha, sana di nalang ako nabuhay

[@internetcarly]

HAHHAHAH perfect

[@ranaib1018]

Lmfaooo

[@hrishikasingh1552]

Oh my! This is like the same type of messages one of the boy i was friends with used to send me all the time. Do they have a rule book or something.

[@strawberryfrog76]

@@shanbruton8762 women are already scared of dangerous men as is in almost every aspect of life. I'd rather laugh than cry about it.

[@gimmeyourankles]

bruh this is a brazil thing too, but we call them cabaços.

[@rosamy2017]

I dunno if having no female friends is a red flag. I know guys with tons of female friends who sleep with (or have slept with) all of them, which is just as much of a red flag for the same reason. They’re only friends with women who sleep with them. You just have to keep your eyes open and understand the situation you’re in.

[@jadecoolness101]

Those aren't friends then, those are friends with benefits, which are entirely different.

[@ialtog]

ive had a few experiences with “”nice guys””. they butter you up as much as they can in hope of getting laid, and when it backfires its straight to insults. I had a guy talking to me for about a month or so, he was interested in me and kept complimenting me and trying to buy me stuff (which i declined). but in the middle of this i got a boyfriend, so ofc i let him know like hey im really sorry but i have a bf now. and instantly he turned to insults saying i was ugly and said if he ever saw me around he’d beat me. then he wonders why he cant get a gf. fun times lol

[@Shiro642]

Whyd u string him along for a whole month!

[@ialtog]

@@Shiro642 i had expressed i wasnt interested any time he tried to get with me but he wouldn't stop, i just wanted to be friends and he knew that. he didnt care. i never led him on, i tried to just speak neutrally to him. just an average not taking no/disinterest for an answer type thing ig. i cut contact w him after anyway.

[@bernthalbabe313]

@@Shiro642 she didn't string him along shut up

[@kennedydodds3386]

I literally just bought the ‘’men who hate women’ book yesterday and i’m already hooked

[@cat-hm7yo]

its rly good!! the first couple chapters are definitely a heavy read but its so informative!!

[@iris7301]

@@thevoid7765 You mean the other way around.

[@ravenwillis]

@@thevoid7765 Oh they will be, cause the proof is on Reddit fool.

[@dc9067]

@@thevoid7765 if a woman writing about entitled shitty men causes more male specimens to hate women then the problem is pretty clear

[@llcooldrockindahouse4631]

That's funny and ironic I like it. 👍

[@xXxbiia14xXx]

There was a guy years ago when I was in high school who started talking to me on the bus, sometimes we had nice times but I felt he was a little bit pushy and I didn't want a relationship with him. So we had nice chats and one time I was preparing for a contest and had to collect some articles which I didn't know where to find. He got all of them and I was really glad although I didn't ask him to do it I was just telling him about my day. Time goes by he messaged me on Facebook he started to get really pushy and I told him I'm not interested in him just as a friend. Then he called me names because he got those articles for me and that's what I do in return... Mind you I didn't ask him to do it and never said anything flirty. I thought that was it but weeks or months later he came to visit me in my home and got me birthday presents while I never told him where I live.... Yeah I guess he was a very scary nice guy.

[@EmyN]

Damn what a creep

[@xXxbiia14xXx]

@Dustin Stich He gave me a drawing of a girl with a guitar on a field which represented me and was made by someone else. If I don't take it I disrespect the person who drew it. But thank you for making my social anxiety even worse because saying no is really hard for me even if it's a lot of work and I'm doing lots of favours.

[@Lowclasswarrior778]

if he was good looking would you have been in a relationship with him

[@ayomidedareabel5525]

@@Lowclasswarrior778 she didn't state he wasn't good looking tho. Stop the projecting

[@medea4751]

yikes what a creep. especially him giving you birthday presents when you didnt even tell him where you live, fucking scary. hope he never comes in contact with u again.

[@harpycartoons2695]

Sometimes I worry that my brother is a nice guy. I think he has one female friend (who he asked out lol) and he's only ever had one relationship when he was 16. He always talks about wanting a partner to be his rock and support him but seems kinda confused when I say relationships are partnerships and he'd need to support her too. One time I told him about a creep who hit on me at work and he couldn't fathom why it made me upset and not flattered. He kept sympathizing with the man for "not knowing how to talk to women" or something. I wish I could make him understand that he can't get a girlfriend because he only sees women in relation to men and not as individuals.

[@meghendy]

you’ve just described my boyfriend of 8 years who was my first boyfriend (since I was 18) and it completely hit me when you said they tend to get with young women or women who haven’t had a lot of dating experience!!! I am glad to now see it but at the same time I am GOBSMACKED it’s taken me buying a house with him & he dumped me a week after to realise it 🙃🙃🙃 sorry for venting!! x

[@baby.nay.]

You’re strong af babe . Fuck him

[@meghendy]

@@baby.nay. thank you!! ❤️

[@strawb8383]

i've had a few experiences with guys who may not be seen as "hot" or "attractive" where i'm nice to them and then have to reject their advances. neither of these people got mad at me, thankfully, but they did completely ignore me until i eventually broke down the barrier again and all was well. very mild situations, but it goes to show how some men see any form of positive attitude from a woman as romantic interest

[@laurenroseanne8205]

Innit -.- sometimes all you have to do is accidentally glance at them in a bar 🤦‍♀️

[@whatever6701]

I used to talk to an incel who said men and women cannot be friends and he only talks to girls with the intent to date and sleep with them, when I said I'd never feel that way for him he'd say "don't worry, i'll change that very soon". That along with his very disgusting behavior caused me to ghost him until he decided to block me all on his own which was great for me.

[@mickeycostagain660]

It’s because most men don’t receive positive attitude or complements from women their in a relationship with let alone a stranger

[@lelelew2735]

It's probably because women see men as being the chaser so men look for any hints or green light of interest. There's no book saying these are the signals and if there is it's usually b.s. women are different ,different brains with different ideas of hints. So whose to say one girls flirting isn't another girls I'm just being polite. Then if a guy doesn't pick up on the vague compliments some women get mean and spiteful that he didn't get the hint and make a move.

[@KristinaVeshtort-Kask]

@@lelelew2735 I've dated women and I've dated men and no, they aren't that bloody different. In both cases actual flirting is pretty obvious.

[@socialistbatman1211]

I hate that whenever I vent about my insecurities or how lonely I am, people tell me that girls aren’t into low self esteem, as if a few girls being into me would just fix my life.

[@flowerinantarctica]

Literally. You do not need a girlfriend to fix your life, in fact you'd probably be much happier in a relationship if you get yourself into a good mental state first. That said no girl is gonna be put off by insecurities, and if they are they ain't worth your time anyway.

[@lusitanianightshade227]

Wow, those people are gross. Dragging another person in to band-aid your personal baggage is about as effective as having a baby to save a broken marriage. Your significant other is not your therapist or the solution to all of life's problems and we as a society need to stop acting like they are 👏 You need better people in your life, Batman. Maybe some people who won't kick you while you're down from insecurities, lol

[@geprekbento7543]

Ofc females only look for alpha chad confident man with resources. Evolutionary traits bro. Just divert your focus, make a goal and grind! Remember: "If I get a dollar for every time women find me unattractive, they will find me attractive"

[@raffa4456]

That's like saying don't be depressed, people don't like it... Like wut? What am I supposed to do about it now? 😅 It just seems like a gross way of saying I don't wanna go into detail with your issues, I don't actually wanna help... Which is shitty but there are still better ways to go about it if you just can't give advice at the moment. Saying what they say is really the dumbest thing you could say in that situation

[@Josephine_de_Beauharnais1763]

People have a tendency to see mental problems as not important. Like someone might say that having a disabled leg is worse than depression. But the thing about physical problems is that it doesn't always affect all parts of your life. An example of this would be you may not be able to stand without a crutch but you can write with your hands, a depressed person might not be able to pick up the pen. Because your brain is involved in EVERYTHING you do, every movement, every thought, every action and choice. Because it's literally an illness in your brain. Telling a person with cancer to just stop having cancer would be unreasonable, so why do people tell others to just straight up stop having anxiety? It's stupid, it's idiotic, it ignores any semblance of logic. Mental health is very, very important. It cannot be fixed in a day, nor a week, nor a month, it likely won't be fixed in a year and it can continue to affect you for the rest of your life. If you seriously need help, get a licensed therapist, not a woman or two to try to "fix" you while not knowing or having the capabilities or skills to dissect what's "broken".

[@EE_etcetera]

As someone who was a nice guy and still struggles with the subconscious nice guy and pick me syndrome, it's caused me a lot of mental baggage. I always question myself on whether I'm being nice to someone because I want to be with them romantically. I want to be better and am trying to not be this way. I have been trying to go to therapy for this but right now my insurance doesn't cover the available therapists in my area. After a while of trying to find someone that is romantically interested in you and failing, you start to question what is wrong with you. You always hear to "just be yourself" but if being yourself doesn't help this failure warps your reality and destroys yourself esteem. I also hear "Your time will come", but again I have been disillusioned with this as well. A bunch of my guy friends have significant others and then tell me not to get a girlfriend. However, I have never felt the love of another person in that way and I want to know what it's like. I was touch starved as a child so that might be a big reason why I crave this physical intimacy like cuddling, hugs, kisses, etc. of a relationship besides s*x. I don't hate women for my lack of success in dating but I do think it is something wrong with me that is the problem. When I see couples, it somewhat makes me sad like as 21 years old my time might be up for easily finding a partner since I'm graduating from uni. I have been really hesitant from using dating apps since my self confidence is not the best. I think I'm average but pretty short being 5'6". Hopefully this was helpful in getting some insight into nice guys mind set and wasn't too much of a rant and coherent.

[@MilaBelen]

The fact that you're watching this and admitting those things, it's a solid start. When us women recognize the damages of patriarchy and you guys do that AS WELL by listening to our experiences (and talk to other men about this), that's when there is hope, that's the way.

[@Kabullo76]

@@MilaBelen 💀

[@whatever3440]

Dude. I was reading your comment and then got to your age and laughed a bit because- I get it. I get it, it seems like everyone else around you is moving on and doing everything you wish to be doing and it feels like you're stuck but in reality, you're young. You've barely stopped being a teen. You're young, you have PLENTY of time to find yourself and a partner. It's good to start with not idealizing relationships. When you've been unwillingly single for a while it starts to warp the idea of what a relationship is like in your head. I'm not gonna lie, it's wonderful and amazing, it's also just like any other relationship, apart from the romance aspect. Romance isn't like Disney movies, it won't solve your problems, it won't make you automatically confident, it just won't do any of those things. You'll still have to grow and learn. A relationship is work, it's like a plant you have to water and take care of. You'll be fine. It's best to let things flow, focus on improving yourself; the person for you will come and then you'll look back at this moment and think you were too hard on yourself for no reason.

[@clairemacphee4273]

oh sweetie you're only 21! i promise your time will come, emotional intelligence and vulnerability and the will to work on yourself are some of the best qualities you can have, and you seem so self-aware already :) don't worry! you have a lot going for you!

[@iara58]

I remember having a pick me boy as a friend a few years ago. At first he seemed pretty normal (except for when he would compare me to other girls and tell me how different and unique I am which I didn't buy into bc I just got into feminism and could tell bs like that reeks off of mysogyny but I didn't really want to comfront him about it so I never said anything) but with time he started to show his true colors. It was when I had this little hook up phase with a guy from my town and he started being a bit passive aggressive, sometimes ignore my texts, straight up confessed to me and told me he didn't like that I was seeing someone else and, mind you, I rejected him bc yeah I didn't feel that way about him and I kept feeling really uncomfortable with the way he kept bringing up the subject (like dude get a hint I ALREADY REJECTED YOU JUST GIVE UP DEAR GOD). But yeah, our friendship went down the drain bc of all that and one day I decided to just ghost him (I know it's bad to do that but I really had no choice. He wouldn't listen to me no matter how much I tried) and he did found my new socials after that but I just kept blocking him and he eventually gave up. It wasn't until around 2019 that I got to know the pick me boy term that everything clicked. I do hope he grew up as a person bc he was really REALLY close to turn into an incel

[@garf1906]

i dont know if anyone has pointed it out by now but its ironic how incels use matrix references to all their awful takes, when matrix was directed by 2 trans women, love that. amazing video as always!

[@notproductiveproductions3504]

Morpheus understands the Matrix better than the writers themselves

[@highkit]

They were both men when they directed The Matrix.

[@dc9067]

@@highkit you mean pre-transition ? Then that's even more symbolic lol

[@highkit]

@@dc9067 Yeah, I guess.

[@wiredvibe1678]

It's not actually ironic at all

[@scoobydoobydo2534]

‘incels are very lonely, they obviously don’t have a girlfriend’. CACKING LOL I love you jordan

[@cestbonne7827]

They don't love themselves.

[@llcooldrockindahouse4631]

Indeed!!

[@marloeslovestea]

My current boyfriend has no female friends but saying that a man with no female friends is a red flag goes a bit far for me. He was 28 when we got together and he was not a player, incel or a pick me. He is so respectful to every woman.

[@MasterIceyy]

A lot of guys don't if you do male dominated jobs like engineering you'll mainly only be around guys from university to the workplace, so there contact with women is limited. I'm 23, and I only have 2 male friends, it's just how things turned out for me

[@markigirl2757]

I agree too bc I’m still friends with a college friend whose a guy over 10 years ago we sided to play games together until we both moved away. We still keep in touch tho and now that we married others people we try to check on each other more often but that’s bc he moved back to where I live anyways so there’s that and I am basically his only female friend but I never felt that was weird

[@jadecoolness101]

Nah, it's definitely true. If a man is incapable of holding a friendship with women, that's a big red flag that he views women as only good for s3x

[@Verinexa]

I wish you do a video about the new emergence of sexist memes and "sigma" mentality on social media, as well as the "women ☕" comments i keep seeing everywhere. All that really reminds me of the incel community and i think a lot of men, especially young men, who don't think they're being sexist or even categories themselves as feminists are leaning into.

[@Mirai_the_weeb]

Omg girlie I've had a kidney infection before they're the most painful lord, i hope you're feeling better now 💕 also your intros aren't too long I'd love to listen to you talk about your cute flat

[@lisas_online]

Me too! Agree agree

[@ixlabrennan]

Remembering when I fell for a pick me boy, so grateful it made me realise I’m a lesbian

[@CL-je6sv]

Are you me? Exact same. I thought I liked him, and eventually I realized I only liked him because I thought I had to like a guy and he was my friend.

[@ixlabrennan]

@@CL-je6sv SAME, he was my friend and I was forced into liking him because of pity, kind of by myself tho, gotta love comphet

[@daisyslovebot]

WAIT same lol

[@jaciewall9108]

Same bestie

[@nesser52]

Same, I'm ace enbian xD

[@slartibartfast7045]

This video made me realize that lots of the guys who liked me during my high school career were pick me boys. I couldn’t ever explain why they were so creepy when everyone would just tell me to get over myself. It all makes sense now! Thanks for the video!!

[@donaldwobamajr6550]

When you said that Incels were overwhelmingly white is when I knew that you had no idea what you were talking about.

[@1es782]

Incels are unironically more diverse than this socially woke internet circlejerk

[@taiyabazaheer9492]

Me: * looks at the title * My mind: So Ross Geller and Ted Mosby have been summoned this time.

[@emierehema5593]

Omggg I was going to say Ted aha 😊

[@marydarko3380]

Ross Geller is peak pick me guy, couldn’t stand him

[@acelya414]

still mad that rachel left the opportunity to work in paris and further her career to be with ross ffs😭💔

[@bellabyers2929]

@@acelya414 RIGHT it made me so mad

[@tacobellslut13]

My ass thought you where talking about Mr.Mosbey from the suite life of Zack and Cody😅

[@secrest07able]

Omg the “pick me, choose me, love me” I love you sm hahaha once again you killed it with this video. Glad to see you back!

[@gracefoo6190]

I used to be friends with a pick me guy. He knew my friend was into him but he refused to acknowledge her feelings ( aka not reject or accept her confessions) Then proceed to tell me girls doesn't like nice guys like him🙄, degrading himself so someone in the room would compliment him.

[@quag6989]

I have a weird reverse nice-guy thing going on. Whenever I become interested in someone I talk to them and become friends. After a while I end up valuing our friendship more than I would value dating them. Rinse and repeat and now I have a bunch of close friends I was once interested in dating

[@persephonecallias]

I have to laugh because you're the first person who has ever been able to put my life-long conundrum into words. SAME HERE. It's a struggle. Do you mind if I ask, how do you navigate actually dating then? I haven't figured out how to un-corner myself

[@user-cn4to5ex4e]

Such a marvellous video! It's cognitive to know not only about pick me girls, but boys as well. You are so beautiful ❤️❤️

[@jordanatheresa]

thank you 🥺🥺💖💖

[@absolutelynotellen]

nice girls nice guys 🤝 Instead of creating a yin-yang they created a whole pain, agony, and sorrow.

[@theonetypingthis7186]

Regarding the subject of the "ugly incels", as an attractive person i've experienced enough of the difference in treatment to understand why an unattractive person would be more vulnerable to becoming insecure and resentful of the opposite sex. Less conventionally attractive people are constantly exposed to hardships or negative behaviours that attractive people are just never really exposed to or made aware of. Unattractive people have an unfortunately deeper understanding of the lower points of human nature and how toxic it can be. To exemplify the differences in treatment between attractive and non-attractive people, in both men and women: - For attractive people I've had many women show a lot of romantic interest in me and ask me out, and most of those were women i'd never even spoken to or met before. This happened and happens even though I was never interested in going out with any of them. I ended up only ever being in a relationship with the woman who's now my wife. - For unattractive people Several of my unattractive friends have struggled to get the attention of people from the opposite sex whom they actually like, people they interact with regularly, get along with and are sweet to, in attempts to show their affection. I've even had friends really like a certain woman, and the woman showing interest in me, despite my giving her no romantic attention. These friends have also been mocked or badmouthed by the opposite sex for their appearance, and some have been cheated on once they actually entered a relationship. These events are not set in stone for them, but unattractive men and women are, in fact, more likely to receive poor treatment or even have their actions interpreted negatively just for being unattractive. I understand that complaining about toxic people can be somewhat entertaining to let off steam, but their complaints can't just be brushed off as nonsense, some of them have been through real hardships that lead to them becoming toxic. We should make more of an effort to empathize with toxic people, as that's ultimately the best way to lead them to a healthier mindset.

[@alexandruciripan2781]

You are right and things like those will not dissapear until people will understand that the beauty privilege exist and will stop saying to guys that its always they're personality and hygiene that is bad

[@4nn4h]

"In the past year, 100 people have been killed by men linked to incel forums... and I know that seems like a small number--" A SMALL NUMBER WHAT

[@dulcierobertson7828]

I read that book as well - omg it was horrifying. But tbh, it wasn't the graphic posts that were the most disturbing to me, it was all the little catchphrases that I'd heard men in my life using and didn't know had originated on incel forums

[@irachoi8944]

Uhm, my ex boyfriend and i would often argue about why women are seen as dirty for sleeping with say 10 men, and men are praised for sleeping with 100 women, and he would say its because women have all the power and the choice so its harder for men to get laid, men have to WORK for it so that’s why its seen as a reward for men… He would also get really upset and say things like “i feel like you’re not attracted to me anymore” or “i feel rejected by you” when i wasn’t in the mood to have sex, no matter how many times i tried to explain to him how i personally just don’t have a high libido.. Things are making so much sense now. Thank you for making this video.

[@dakotamabry1645]

Glad hes your ex - my husband also doesn't have a high libido and even if he was in the mood but I don't feel like it he won't shame me over it .. I did say I felt rejected and unattractive for a little while , due to the constant rejection and why I didn't pursue him as much. That was just something we discussed In a calmer manner without name calling.. there are good men out there that don't treat woman like that

[@PTS-Maid]

Ok but literally no one praises men for sleeping with 100 women. They are 100% gonna be called players and red flags lmao

[@jezebelleh.4984]

that doesnt make sense to me bc since males have to BEG for sex, wouldnt them having a higher body count be pathetic? like it just shows how desperate they are.

[@PTS-Maid]

@@jezebelleh.4984 no, because the ones that have to beg usually don't get any sex. Although it is true that men have to work harder for sex. But women not as much since there are hundreds of sexual addicted men per women.

[@jezebelleh.4984]

@@PTS-Maid isnt "working harder" for sex still pathetic and desperate tho? like ALL that effort for it to be wasted in like 2 mins 💀

[@WeR2VEVO]

I just watched a video by Macabre Storytelling about Male Dating Struggles, which touches on many of the same points. I am a man, and his video rang true to me. This one really did too. Your female perspective of this "nice guy"/"pick me boy" culture massively contributes to the conversation that men have amongst themselves in rectifying and eliminating this kind of behavior. Great job, will be watching the "pick me girls" one next!

[@annamariaxatzikonstantinou9803]

Girl I absolutely love this video and you! You literally just cut down the whole concept of pick me and nice guys as well as internalised misogyny as a whole in a very easy to understand, badass legally blonde type of way and I’m here for it! Thank you for your content

[@sdma6005]

I’m pretty sure my brother joined this movement. He acts so different now, in the worst way possible. It’s devastated me for the longest time

[@bobsburgers8497]

Maybe try talking to him?

[@tomorrow4eva]

I’m sorry. It’s really hard when a sibling becomes someone nasty. My sister was horrible to me for a while. She’s better now. I hope you get your brother back.

[@absolutelychampagne]

Honestly, don't even bother with him. He'll learn from his mistakes when girls keep dumping him and he'll learn the hard way but at the end of the day, it's his love life, not yours so if were you I wouldn't even care.

[@user-lk7cv8vg7r]

I feel you. My brother is like this. He's also a huge rascist. It makes me sad he has two sons. I hope they see through it.

[@jimbo113]

how/in which ways is he acting differently now?

[@MB-ic3ou]

There’s a song by 5 Seconds of Summer called “heartbreak girl” that I always hated when I was a teenager and I could never put my finger on why until I got older and realised it’s such a pick me boy/nice guy syndrome song. The song is about a guy who is in love with his girl best friend, yet she clearly only see’s him as a best friend, and is in a relationship with another guy. The lyrics keep talking about how she would call him up to talk about her problems but he was sick of hearing about it bc she should be dating him. It always irked me bc I was like bro she doesn’t see you that way, move on and just be a good friend. 5sos hate the song now but it’s the epitome of this topic!

[@xotwod8197]

I dedicate this song to you😩😩😩

[@KaylaTheKindOne]

I'm surprised you didnt start talking about Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes instead, which is in my opinion the Nice Guy anthem. I used to love the song when I was younger (and even as an adult I do still somewhat romanticize the 'knight in shining armor' archetype), but nowadays it makes me cringe so hard, especially the chorus

[@cb97cult57]

i’m reading Men Who Hate Women right now and it’s so interesting but so disturbing to realise how big and prominent these groups are, and just how violent and dangerous they can be.

[@janetlekoba6890]

I love that people are calling pick me boys out, they make me wanna vomit

[@Kabullo76]

as long as you don't become anorexic by dint of throwing up

[@janetlekoba6890]

@@Kabullo76 I think that's bulimia mate and slightly insensitive

[@falakhussain7928]

@@Kabullo76 as long as you stfu, we'll be fine.

[@sarahtew3788]

Young boys are raised in a world where women are commodities and when the mature and can’t “buy” what they think is being “sold” to them, no matter what the currency is- being nice, money, nice dinners, etc- they don’t understand it and they throw fits. Awesome video :-)

[@absolutelychampagne]

Ikr. It's so toxic. I wish we lived in a world were the woman and the man in the relationship would take turns to buy each other food. And anyways, dinners, gifts, a bunch of flowers, etc. costs!!

[@muffinman4544]

Absolutely Champagne we do. Don’t date misogynists/misandrists or cheapskates, then you will find that. Billions of people in the world, not everybody is as you say

[@confusedturtle8]

But who raises these boys though? Their mothers.

[@sprigganpanda]

@@confusedturtle8 there are 2 parents and people are raised by their environment too. Also misogynistic women exist too

[@Schinzo__]

Women sell themselves you have yourselves to blame

[@NataliaKasten]

Honestly Hugo never sat right with me and even the way he behaved on tiktok afterwards just made it so that he became even less likeable. When you add on top of that that he never spoke up for Kaz and that he encouraged Liam to essentially cheat on Millie, makes you question how "heroic" his speech for Chloe was. As for the rest, never knew how intricate incel groups were but that is honestly terrifying, honestly wish this was held to the same standard as other dangerous groups. As usual love your videos, loved how informative this one was!

[@viviana3999]

Wow this video reminds me of a time me and my cousin were relating and talking about finding someone to date is hard to do, then my male cousin says “but it’s not hard for you to find somebody’s cuz women have it easier” honesty I didn’t put much though about what he had just said and was like “what are you even talking about it’s just as hard for me as it is for you to find someone” but he LITERALLY thinks we as women have it EASY to fine someone like sir we are all individuals. that makes me think about how truly sad he must pity himself and I think all men like that are very insecure about themselves cuz why in the h*ll would you think just because I am a women I have it easier wow that really goes to show you how he views women I hope he opens his eyes to see each person as an individual not as “oh women are always wanted while men are at the bottom of the beryl” like be fr😐 Anyways ladies just look out for those red flags 🚩 if they only have guy friends run and if they go to the gym just to get girls🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

[@gailainsley6939]

It’s because they think quantity means quality. They will be happy with a lot of women pursuing them. They don’t understand that it doesn’t work the same way for us. We prefer quality over that 😂😴

[@j.d.s.8132]

Women have it alot easier in dating. Previous comment prooves this notion further, women just pick the best out of a line, "quality over quantity" like at a supermarkt. Talk about objectifiying.

[@TheLegendaryTashy]

I'm an "incel" in the original sense of being involuntarily celibate, not a part of the weird internet movement, I refuse to step foot into that shitstorm. It's not nice to deal with, I have many things working against me currently from a physical disability, a shit pessimistic personality and being conventionally unattractive. However, I know these are my problems and I don't hold it against anyone for turning me down for any reason, nor do I do the "NiceGuy" thing of getting offended when I do get turned down, and I've ended up with some decent friendships from women that turned me down romantically. Some of us are just meant to be alone and it's not ok to take your anger out on others because of it. Just accept it and move on.

[@hax0n23]

Agreed

[@tommygertcher2747]

Slave morality.

[@adiegrass1616]

tw: sexual harassment . . . . Almost all the men who sexually harassed me in high school were pick me boys. Claimed that nobody liked them, claimed they were ugly, thought that because they were nice they were entitled to my time and my body. And then would lash out when I said I wasn’t interested in dating or hooking up and gaslight me, making me feel like a bad person and that I was crazy. One even tried to convince me that the date we went on where he talked about us dating and touched my hips and waist and then proceeded to sexually harass me for several days after that it never happened. A reminder: Consent to one thing doesn’t mean consent to everything. I did consent to him touching my body but I did not consent to him sending me pictures of himself in the shower and telling me about all the wet dreams he had about me (I made it clear I did not like these things.) He gaslit me so bad that I didn’t even realize what happened until almost a year later.

[@vaishvi1762]

Im glad we are talking about this!!! most of the time its only women who get flack for being pick its high time we recognise its not a gender related issue

[@SashiTea]

So this popped up on my recommended and I'm really glad I clicked on! You've done a great job of articulating and I think you raise some really important points about not only the incel community as a whole but also how it can be just a couple of jumps from being "just a normal nice guy" - really enjoyed this vid!