Snowflake Company FAILS BIG at trying to "lure" workers back to office |

[@JoshuaFluke1]

But...but you can open the bathroom door with your foot now! Guys, why wont you come in? We have bigger meeting rooms! Guys? Please? Guys we have a statue with a mask on it!

[@TuxraGamer]

WE HAVE A STATUE WITH A MASK *WE'RE FUNNY LOOK!!!*

[@TuxraGamer]

OwO thx

[@1str1ker]

Can you imagine working with a mask on all day. That sounds like torture.

[@bf2fool]

It's not even a motorized door.. fat kathy's are literalling going to fall over trying to open it with one leg.

[@LearnLiterallyEverything]

Lol 😂 good stuff JF

[@prakash_77]

"Customers First" usually means employees aren't a priority!

[@laverdadbuscador]

I've never submitted to this philosophy. Put the employee first and they'll naturally take care of the customers.

[@disposablehero4911]

Always.

[@lincolnlane6763]

@@TinfoilCharliesPureblood-uy8sr Makes so much sense but in my experience it NEVER works that way. The mentality of most employers is to use punishment instead of reward and treat workers like shit. It's psychological, if you lower their self esteem they will keep coming back for more and work harder for approval. They have you by the balls because they can take away your income and insurance on a whim

[@davivenancio762]

I own Ann_Henderson on Telegram my life, after falling victims to scammers, i decided to take one more risk and came through !thanks for the 3btc you gave me ma.

[@laverdadbuscador]

@@lincolnlane6763 you're right, most places don't follow this principle. Ive worked for only one that said that's what they believed but in practice they didn't actually do it. I actually do though. To my employees I make it abundantly clear to them I hate micromanaging people. I'd rather just pay fairly, equally distribute workload instead of punishing people for working harder, only promote from within, and I only micromanage if given legit reason too. If you show up everyday within a general time frame, get your work down, don't cause drama, and customers aren't complaining that is all I ask. I can't expect an employee to give a shit about what they do, if I don't give a shit about them. The whole "I own you" model will eventually go away. Having that attitude will just contribute to poor service to your customers, high employee turn over rates, and a punch in punch out culture. Its just unfortunate that most companies are still owned by out of touch boomers. They all want this "culture" which is fine, but these people must have the worst marriages / relationships in their personal lives. Imagine if you treated your woman like an employer treats you?! If you want people to give a shit, you gotta give a shit about them....want them to stay or be loyal? Be loyal back. It's really not that hard, but these theorists believe birthday cakes make loyal employees. There's nothing wrong with cute little acts of kindness. When I've gotten cards I did enjoy it and it was nice....but it doesn't fool me into putting up with a toxic relationship.

[@DarkSolidity]

This legit just looks like a classroom. It just shows you that school only prepares you to be a cog in someone else’s machine. This one doesn’t even try to hide it.

[@Danielkaas94]

@@davivenancio762 yeet the fuck out 🤷‍♂️

[@symurai1988]

@@davivenancio762 damn you’re legitimately working hard to scam people in the KZbin comments 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@PS3PCDJ]

Not so funny thing is the fact that because mandatory schooling came to be during the time of industrial revolution, the owners of the factories needed people that are somewhat educated but are also listening to any commands/orders and are used to mind-numbing and repetitive tasks. That why modern schools are still like this because noone bothered or wanted to change it. And people are still wondering why there are people that are incapable of free/critical thinking. Because they weren't given the chance/were conditioned to not think for themselves.

[@seekknowledge8034]

@@PS3PCDJ I second that. This kind of robot education made sense years ago when automation was none and people needed to be trained to do tedious and repetitive tasks for 30 years and be happy and secure about it. Now we all face the very opposite situation. We need creative people more than ever to expand economy activity to allocate an ever increasing population and to pay retirements for the elderly, but we only got robots (billions of them) unable to operate by themselves

[@YumegakaMurakumo]

BASED AS FUCK

[@stephaniestrolls]

If my work offered an indoor pool, sauna, and a Chili's Too, I would STILL rather work out of my small apartment livingroom. These corporations just don't get it.

[@Magoverso]

@Christopher Huber same here. 3 hours without being on the stress of public transportation it's the best thing. long life for home office

[@robertcarson7803]

I cannot imagine going to a pool or a sauna at work. How is that relaxing? Your boss or coworker watching. Your productivity drops for whatever reason, “you been using the pool too much”.

[@christianmorera4127]

I'll get caught coming in to use the pool 😂

[@cetriyasArtnComicsChannel]

Yeah, if the sauna was clean I'd comeback

[@lincolnlane6763]

Exactly. If they gave me the option of getting paid significantly more to commute to the office, or get paid less to work from home, it would be a no-brainer. I would take a pay CUT in order to not have to go to our crappy ugly dysfunctional toxic office. But they insist on employees being miserable and resentful!

[@Top10AnimeBetrayals]

"Snowflake mask" Is this a joke? Oh, the whole company is called "Snowflake" Top 10 worst company names

[@davivenancio762]

I own Ann_Henderson on Telegram my life, after falling victims to scammers, i decided to take one more risk and came through !thanks for the 3btc you gave me ma.

[@DanielJackson2010]

I believe it hasn't always been an offensive term. This term started to be used as an insult around 2015, if I'm not mistaken. But, yeah, when he said a ''snowflake mask'' I literally exploded in laughter, it's what it sounds like, hahaha. Just imagine, each time an assistant picks up the phone at her desk ''Hello, Snowflake, how may I help you?'' This really feels like a funny skit.

[@Daniel-ld7xs]

😂😂

[@Nerobyrne]

I think they were going for a "winter" aesthetic, but ... honestly they failed majorly and now it just looks really lame.

[@chikipichi5280]

Did you not read the title or did you also think they were using it as an adjective in the title?

[@ThisTall]

“We spent a ton of money on everything but you, so you’ll want to come back and admire it”. $1000 says the board uses this Reno as an excuse to decide against future wage increases.

[@lincolnlane6763]

Yes, where are our raises? No talk of raises...

[@RA-xx4mz]

Company: We keep your data in the cloud but keep our employees in a building.

[@TriHard612]

No raise for you this year, but we got a big conference desk and doors you can open with your feet. Just remember, those 'perks' don't come out of the executives pay. They come out of yours.

[@CeeTeeUSA]

You got it right..

[@omegaman7377]

And with the exception of your cubicle, you can't used it. It just to impress clients.

[@Exis247]

@@omegaman7377 not "your" cubicle anymore. Its a cubicle. now shove everything you own into this locker.

[@picklerix6162]

That’s how it works. Everybody gets a pay cut while money is spent on office accommodations.

[@demonvictim]

Lets put this in a different view if you drive to work or use bus how many days until you make up the cost of the benefits to come back to the office. Say you use 5 dollars of gas a day you can buy lunch just by working at home

[@paranoidpanzerpenguin5262]

Just convert those office spaces into affordable apartments or something, there, now people can work at the "office", from the comfort of their own homes

[@bmiller2465]

@asdrubale bisanzio Well, you're not supposed to. But, since you're moving into the Snowpile with the other Snowflakes, by doing so...you're consenting to be monitored and tracked. That way the company can understand how you use your apartment better. I'm sure that's the direction they'll go with it. Then, Snowflake will partner with PornHub and sell videos of you in your bedroom to make extra cash on the side AND charge you rent, thus turning double-profit and maximizing ROI. You must be screwed from all angles for our profit, snowflakes!

[@imho2278]

Yep! Partition the place off and rent it out. Bathrooms could be a problem though.

[@imho2278]

@asdrubale bisanzio if the place has to be sold, it's the new generation of loft living....already furnished, carpeted, aircon. Landlords will be very keen.

[@bluejay6229]

I was thinking the same thing or a multi entertainment/shopping area

[@bengrzybowski7671]

@asdrubale bisanzio I think WeWork tried this, and it didn't work at all. lol.

[@jimmyjimbo72]

"Employees will be assigned time slots to visit the cafeteria after ordering ahead." Or I could just work from home and eat whenever I fucking want.

[@imho2278]

Totally school lunch. Then they put the little lunchbags in an orange tray and deliver it to your work area.

[@tallyp.7643]

And heaven forbid you end up totally in the zone work-wise on a problem for hours, only to come up for air and realize you missed your time slot. What do you do then, not eat til dinnertime?

[@cliffclairespicyreviews3502]

Hell ya

[@AsghanRS]

I'm with the person that commented there. No amount fluffy stuff is gonna make me switch from my own home and feel better.

[@SchkuenteQoostewin]

@@zoundstreetop Too small, I get a death weavier from the CEO and a minigun. I catch CoVid19, I am cashing in on that death weavier. Taking that FAT CAT with me!

[@OtherDalfite]

@@zoundstreetop lol, as if that would ever happen! Crazy to think that higher wages are for some reason out of reach yet multi-million dollar renovations are the first step. Just why

[@SchkuenteQoostewin]

@@OtherDalfite They want slaves, just illegal so they pay as little as they can just to make it so it not considered slavery

[@manictiger]

Imagine if they said: "We downsized our crappy post modern eyesore of an office and now we not only will allow people to work from home, but we'll pay for all their business expenses, because we get deductions that they don't. They get full autonomy as long as they do good work in a timely manner and they still get all their medical benefits, 401k, etc." It really is about micromanaging employees. No wonder no one wants to go back to work. Let the system burn.

[@drd1614]

“We want to create a much more flexible environment.” Cool I’m gonna work from home. Much more flexible.

[@ArizonaHurley]

VP of Snowflake Management - What an absolutely bizarre character. You can almost see in his eyes he's dead inside. He doesn't understand the ridiculousness of his own corporate clone predicament

[@manictiger]

There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.

[@JakeTilk]

Oh boy, can’t wait to hop on my phone and remember to schedule my desk for tomorrow! ❤️

[@kamil4151]

This actually worked for a long time around here, and its quite nice. Especially because it completely prevents hoarders (Im sure you know someone like that) from stacking up the desk with papers/redbull cans/bottles or whatever, as everyday it all resets. It also implies you do not have to go there everyday, they probably reduced the seating to 50% or something. I sure like it more than "this is your desk, with this desktop PC, to remind you you are going to be at this exact spot for the rest of your life" like I had at my first job 15 years ago.

[@JakeTilk]

@@kamil4151 this was a really helpful comment and it was cool to see things from another perspective, thank you

[@dzndtowork]

I'm a commercial office designer and I agree with everything that is being said here. I often meet with decision makers and they tell me what their employees want and how they work. I know that isn't what their employees want, and those ideas won't work but that's what they want so that is what gets ordered. Office design projects need to start by talking to the actual worker bees to create a space they want to work in (at home or the office). This company sadly did fall for all the buzz words and like you are all pointing out no one is buying it.

[@manictiger]

Lol, you might want to switch to residential or brick and mortar design. I think offices may be a relic of the past. We have the internet now. There's no reason a software developer needs to go to an office.

[@dzndtowork]

@@manictiger No a software developer won't need to go to an office but there are plenty of occupations where being in the office is needed and wanted. Even though you may work at home I can still set up a home office that will support ergonomics, and make you more productive! Interior design isn't just picking out finishes!

[@manictiger]

​@@dzndtowork I wasn't talking about home offices though. That's a completely different environment with total autonomy. Hell, you can literally have 1nt3rc0urs3 during the job if you want, with a home office!

[@husher5142]

Definitely. They keep talking about doing this at work and we (devops team) keep saying we need stations with enough power to pre-load network equipment, TS hardware etc. Real-estate "but look at this shiny couch with ZERO work space" as though we dont normally have 3+ monitors with visio, excels and notepad++ open doing w.e Cant do that shit effectively on a laptop screen in an unfavourable sitting position

[@errrzarrr]

Exactly what I thought on a intuitive level. I am not an expert in design or decoration at all - heck! I just know how enough to keep my room and kitchen clean. But it was so clear to me this space isn't necessarily good as workspace. Yes, they do look good, but won't make you feel good and productive.

[@Lactovacilo939]

Imagine spending all that money for no reason lmao

[@disposablehero4911]

Tax write off perhaps.

[@lincolnlane6763]

@@disposablehero4911 Oh I'm sure there is some kind of monetary advantage

[@rise_and_reborn4048]

Even worse, I don't think its for the business mainly. Its 1. Jusifying his high pay grade 2. Probably for Ego 3. Just like to spent money. Real Estate benefits pale in comparison to just not having to pay a lease at all!

[@Nerobyrne]

it's not no reason, they can write this off as a business expense because it's not taxed like profits. In theory it's pretty good, because it incentivises firms to use their profits instead of hoarding them, thus making them flow back into the economy. The LAST thing you want, and what's currently a big problem in our economies, is when money is just hoarded somewhere and not used. Saving is actually bad for the economy, especially when a LOT of money is saved. (This is called "volatility of money", and it's a good thing.) However, I think in this case it would have been better spent in other ways.

[@redfather5342]

Gotta love those old boomers

[@Dankos256]

You can almost hear middle management cries leaking trough the cracs of this "masterpiece". Something along the lines of: Please, PLEASE, come back to the office, we need you here to micromanage you and pretend we are doing useful work!

[@rise_and_reborn4048]

Yeah, putting Bureaucracy before productivity and employees

[@JFCOAREZA]

Indeed

[@jamespn]

You mean that if employees are more productive at home with minimal supervision, then the company wouldn’t need as many managers.

[@omegaman7377]

@@jamespn Productivity is not the result of management of employee. If you wanted improve it often the management that need management. Best example: the videogame Anthem 5 years of development. but EA didn't had a clear idea of the content of the game. except it was a multi-user online game, no story, no synopsis for FOUR YEARS ! And EA , do not think to have a permanent team to finalize the Frosbyte game engine. GM can't produce decent cars anymore. Failure of management of employee or failure or investment in R&D.

[@mellowmortal]

Snowflake: Technology will enable us to understand how our employees work best. I mean....or you could just ask them? This isn't a study on chimpanzee behavior. Software devs are, contrary to popular belief, capable of speech.

[@sergiusprintar5491]

employees will lie, or avoid giving some information, or not ask for help in certain situations. If I ask you over whatever message app we are using: "hey, how are you doing?" You'll just answer with: "I'm good, working", even if you got problems. Because "you won't talk to me about them since its your personal life or preferances". Actually, its even a meme that women go "i'm fine" and refuse to communicate when they are pissed :))) But its not exclusive for gals, guys do this too. But if you're at the office, I could potentially see that you got problems because every time you have to work with John, he talks to you like you're trash and that upsets you. Or that you constantly hold your stomach as you eat something bad, or your head and its a headache. Then I could just ignore it since it will pass in a day or two. Or I could notice you are frustrated every time you talk on your phone and realize you got some problems with other people in your life so maybe try to give you less tasks, etc.

[@CrispyChicken38]

@@sergiusprintar5491 Your first sentence is "employees will lie." Think about that. People don't quit jobs, they quit managers, and I would quit you in two seconds if that's your first assumption to base your arguments on. Hard pass manager. You are a pathetic sort, treating those around you with such contempt. I hope your higher ups treat you the same way.

[@sergiusprintar5491]

@@CrispyChicken38 so you live to avoid reality and live in a fantasy? The employee - employer relationship isn't a best fiends or therapist type of relationship. You will lie and hold out information. I was pretty good friends and still am with my ex boss. We still didn't tell each other everything or when pissed we didn't always tell each other why. And it's the same thing with the current employer. We are all in this life for ourselves barring a few exceptions like spouses or children or parents and even those aren't true for everyone. That's why people lie and withhold info. That's the reality of this world

[@BlueBalledMedia]

@@sergiusprintar5491 What you are saying is true, but I think if you can set up an anonymous way to speak, people will speak. Otherwise, you get this immature childish behavior.

[@sergiusprintar5491]

@@BlueBalledMedia hey, I personally don't like "anonymity" in the workplace. At least not when accusations are being made. For other situations its ok as long as there's a way to contact that anonymous person.

[@LLCoolJ_25]

They did this with my college. I had to keep pushing to stay virtual (many other students too) and my college was pushing us to go to campus one day week for an hour, for one class. I told them I don’t have a car to make the commute everyday and the bus still drops me off 15-20 min away from the campus. It took so much for them to give the option of virtual and in person. Literally what’s the point. We have to wear a mask, separate from each other, and wipe everything down. I’m all for this if absolutely necessary. It’s not necessary to come on campus.

[@CarbonJackal13]

Worst part is you pay to go to college, so why should they get to decide for you?

[@isray89]

Same. I'm a PhD student and they are saying we're 100% back on campus, in person, starting July 1st. Everyone has to go through a huge list of tasks to do this, including being fully vaccinated. I'm like, dude, I am vaccinated, but I'm also immonocomproimsed so I WILL NOT return. Thankfully I finished coursework during the pandemic and now just have to write my dissertation. My school doesn't provide any office space for grad students, so I'm like "PEACE, I'M OUT!". I'll miss out on the money from teaching as an adjunct, but TBH that $2000/semester really isn't worth it!

[@LLCoolJ_25]

@@CarbonJackal13 well...luckily my program is paying for my classes😂I always pay so I feel lucky there. So really they choose them for me.

[@LLCoolJ_25]

@@isray89 I just don’t see the point in returning if you have to go thru so many checkpoints? If someone absolutely has to have in person learning, I understand. And they should understand that! Regardless if you’re fully vaccinated, you’re still putting yourself at risk and they shouldn’t ask you to do that. Also the cdc fucked up, so that’s another reason I do not want to go to campus. My asthma is mild, but it can become bad and it’s just too early to take the masks off.

[@youtubeshadowbannedme]

And that's why I transferred from university to college to get it over with

[@NotTheOnlyMattAround]

"Here's your free mask we ridiculously overpaid for." "I'm fully vaccinated and the CDC says I don't have to wear one now." "Fuck..."

[@churchofpos2279]

Lol-perfect.

[@jbb8261]

Lol I’d be the one who doesn’t come back because I refuse to get vaccinated

[@ItsDeffoScott]

@@jbb8261 Then you get fired 🤓

[@isray89]

I'm fully vaccinated but still wear a mask, distance, etc. I'm immunocompromised (thanks, genetics!), so I'm just keeping a list of lawyers for when I'm given the inevitable ultimatum.

[@mikepiotrowski8306]

@@isray89 If you're "immune comprimised" How the hell will a vaccinne help you?!?

[@ThatGuyDownInThe]

the main reason I quit Target was because I wasn't going to allow my employer to restrict my oxygen intake

[@BardChords]

The art on the wall really hammers in that you are in corporate hell.

[@infotechsailor]

Ah haha.. the time for these cheesy companies to fight for their employees to stay on campus would have been before they closed down in the first place. I have zero sympathy for these folks

[@LLCoolJ_25]

The “oh fuck off, no way!” Killed me😂😂😂

[@MrApplewine]

Basically, the feudal lords are worried that if their serfs don't show up to the manor every day that they aren't doing their work and the lords don't really know how to do anything, so they need to physically control them serfs so they don't leave for 8 hours a day.

[@JFCOAREZA]

That is the point

[@GeneralChangFromDanang]

@Kevin Stone Nothing that higher ups do in corporations makes sense. At my company, they use and abuse the current employees and turn around and whine about not being able to find people to work there. The culture has gone in the toilet and other companies are catching up in pay and they just can't see it.

[@jamajam2636]

There is no "lure" at getting employees back to the office, more like a net. I'm betting it's not optional.

[@benj1236]

*This cant be real. LOL Someone is being trolled. CEO: "Welcome back SnowFlakes." XD LOL*

[@omegaman7377]

You mean like the Gillette ads, the loots and burning of parts of cities.

[@donrobertsalazar1125]

"Welcome Snowflakes!" A bit derogatory, boss.

[@Nerobyrne]

Detroit become Snowflake

[@-41337]

If I were really concerned about COVID safety, then I'd want to hear about their HVAC air conditioning systems and air exchange rates. But that would actually cost money and make a real difference, so they'll just put up snowflake curtains.

[@aronharrington]

Glad someone has pointed this out.

[@imho2278]

Yes.

[@lapatria100]

Meetkevin

[@manictiger]

Couldn't they just have an "air collection chamber" that gets blasted by UV-C lamps? Seems like a relatively simple way to make HVAC systems safer. Like, you shape it like a turbocharger, so that it takes time to pass through. Heck, maybe even use the airflow to power the UV-C lamps.

[@gorkyd7912]

@@manictiger You'd need to have like a 20 mph wind going through the office to actually stop spreading in a closed office environment. Not good for paperwork.

[@ElFranxo]

What degree do you need to become a VP of Global Workspace and how many years of experience to be able put together such a valuable care package with your own marker?

[@chasingsunsets87]

you just need to be a british man that is in san mateo now for some reason lol!! I was always wondering about that company when I drive by it. I am like "snowflake"? Are you serious? He probably so some buddies make crazy money in silicon valley and figured he needs a piece of it. Explains all the buzz words and nothing is genuine. This is just another front for them to receive large funds etc. Trust me....Silicon valley did have some many random people like that british man with meh companies that are for some reason value at the price they are. Definitely before 2015 cuz like his were not so populated. Definitely before 2012 it was still a normal silicon valley. And we have this.

[@rukisar6312]

After seeing that "return to high school" video with tiny lockers and little desks, where the CEO probably still gets a private office while he makes everyone else work in a distracting open office environment, it might be time to find a new remote job.

[@dienand_]

"How people wanna work" -> From home, screw the commute...

[@TriHard612]

To all headhunter hiring firms out there, the best way to recruit talent? Find companies that are forcing employees back and line them up with remote competitors. Your welcome.

[@Whyoakdbi]

You're*

[@wesmcquillen]

Actually the bathroom door foot thing is the most compelling thing. Not that that says much. But I wished that every bathroom door in public was like that for years before the pandemic. It's so obnoxious when I wash my hands on the way out of the bathroom but then you have to touch a handle to leave, a handle you know the 70% of people who don't wash their hands are touching.

[@craigmcpherson1455]

What's funny is that the foot thing is for going INTO the bathroom. There's no point if you can simply push the door with your foot to leave the bathroom.

[@JoshuaFluke1]

All of this could have existed pre-pandemic. And I don't think it's motivational enough to get people to commute and wear a mask for 8 hours a day.

[@dogelife7901]

When you dry your hands keep the towel to open the door with. Love not being in a stupid office anymore.

[@wesmcquillen]

@@JoshuaFluke1 Was kinda joking about this being the only attractive thing in the video, but hey, I got a reply from the man himself!

[@wesmcquillen]

I just really want to be able to kick my way out of every public bathroom forever

[@veros7106]

These videos are cathartic

[@OtherDalfite]

One of the few small hammers chipping away at the boomer corporate nightmare we have today

[@janelleg597]

Any business who finds it necessary or cute to mask their frickn mascot has issues.

[@ITech2005]

I just got hired at one of these places and im honestly not even looking forward to it. Funny thing is, im not too far away from these guys lmfao. If i see this dude on day one im bouncing.

[@Eyetrauma]

At an old job I used to endlessly complain about the airflow. When it was humid you could legit feel the humidity stick to you and it was the kind of environment where we couldn’t even control the AC. It was so funny when the pandemic hit and that one study about the restaurant came out: turns out poor air circulation is an absolute goldmine for virus incubation and basically, shock shock, letting human lungs breathe fresh air is good. Anyway I mention this because despite all the “improvements” shown here you can see they still have the same shitty converted warehouse aesthetic with open plan desks. No indication that there’s good airflow, no indication that you’re not just endlessly breathing in your neighbor’s exhalations all day.

[@NotTheOnlyMattAround]

Bottom line: It'd be cool to go to a dirty, dimly lit warehouse and work if you like the people you work with and you feel like your boss gives a damn. If you hate your coworkers, and your boss, it can be the greatest office ever built and no one will enjoy being there.

[@lincolnlane6763]

YES!!! But the office I work in IS like a dimly lit dirtywarehouse, AND we all hate the boss and each other. So It's a lose-lose, just like we all deserve! Yay!

[@rubenzall]

This is just so pathetic, how companies just dig their heels in and put their heads in the sand refusing to see or acknowledge that the past year and a half has PROVEN many of us don't need a brick and mortar office. People aren't interested in being scrutinized in an office setting.

[@standcontractdelta8120]

I realised something watching this. CEOs have no soul and therefore cannot understand the rest of us. They must be so jealous of us.

[@BOZ_11]

i mean this guy is walking dead

[@monero_bully2412]

He looks like Dilbert's bosses boss.

[@dm2060]

This guy isn't the CEO

[@standcontractdelta8120]

Debo Debo He’s the VP he would sit around with the CEO and discuss strategy to get the most out of the ‘resources’ (employees).

[@akshatmittal6726]

My company did a similar thing. Started calling me to office twice a week, then fired me two months in. Literally never give in to these false pretences. They don’t give a shit about you or your health

[@chrismurray3469]

I hate that they want to force people to go in. Like my company is “hybrid” now. They give us the option to go in. If I need to run errands in the city I like to go in or if the kids are kind of rowdy I might go there for a quiet space. But I like that I get to choose. If I had to pick 1 or the other I’d for sure pick working from home though.

[@RT-hz5uv]

The best way is to atleast let them have their own office with personal space included like a sofa, coffee table, and mini kitchen. Making it atleast look like home and personable and not another generic "open" office.

[@bicolanoviaggiatore]

Maybe add a bedroom and bathroom per "cubicle" too. I'd stay in that office if it's free hahaha

[@rise_and_reborn4048]

Nah working from home is still better They would still track productivity etc. Plus able to change it without ur knowledge or permission

[@RT-hz5uv]

@@rise_and_reborn4048 not disagreeing with that.

[@jeremyleonbarlow]

Why are they wasting money on office space that is not needed. Buy warehouse space for servers, sure. Build a comfortable break room for people who must be present to troubleshoot physical hardware problems, but if the staff has been remote for a year, sell or sublet the space you have and eliminate the expense of office space. Who is failing in the accounting and cost control department?

[@SeanWashPhoto]

The part where you end the day by taking you shit and putting into a locker is fucking bonkers and would literally do the opposite of encouraging me to come back into the office. If I have to come into the office I would want *an office* with my shit in it that I can arrange the way I like and when I leave I don't have to clean up, I can just leave. What is this company doing and who scammed them to be an *office renovation advisor* to waste money on changes like "rentable" desks and lockers.

[@TheOriginalDarkGlitch]

They want to find any way to raise their real estate value before they sell it and fire all their employees.

[@slippyjet8979]

Can't wait for Joshua to make his next video about a company named "Safe Space."

[@DanielJackson2010]

this literally feels like Silicon Valley episode, lol!!

[@jayceewilliams5250]

Just entering the job market and job search and I'm not looking forward to the corporate cringe I'm going to be dealing with.

[@calvinvastelli6792]

Just wait until they get to the Gender and Racial Sensitivity training... You have to treat 'certain groups' with special consideration because they are 'oppressed' and we supposedly have'unconscious bias' against many of these groups. All these trainings do is make me go full Pence Rule and not have any 1 on 1 meetings at work unless, only meetings in a group with witnesses.

[@software_development]

@@calvinvastelli6792 sounds like a you problem bud

[@calvinvastelli6792]

@@software_development Call it what you will, working from home has since solved that problem. Now I don't have to hang out with anyone lol

[@surajpatil8670]

They wont give you much work as a fresher so keep interviewing and keep looking for better opportunities. Any control you think you have over them is their control over you. Ideally switch after every 2 years (my 2 years are up so I'm also applying here and there).

[@standcontractdelta8120]

Man, you have no idea, it is so hard to listen to it.

[@jesusisGod1434]

I guess they could use threats. Like, if you don’t come back you lose your job. Which is what they will do.

[@lincolnlane6763]

Of course. This is what my company does. They don't come out and say it, because God forbid they be open and honest. But it is STRONGLY implied.

[@isray89]

@@lincolnlane6763 My partner's company is saying that explicitly. If you don't return to the office all day, every day, you will be fired. Thankfully they aren't implementing this until January, so he has time to look for a new job...

[@LyxyLue]

I 100% expect my current company to do that. And I have 0 intention to go back to the office. So I'm planning for my leave when that happens

[@lincolnlane6763]

@@isray89 My company had us back in the office by February. They don't even have a good excuse, it's a "because we said so" mentality.

[@redfather5342]

Thats gonna cause people to quit and leave

[@Nerobyrne]

"Welcome to the office!" "Ah, looks good .... where do I sit?" "... I dunno we didn't buy any chairs. The floor I guess?"

[@pawlet]

Do you have to book a time slot to go to the potty?

[@disposablehero4911]

Three days in advance no less and it must be okayed my the next four "managers".

[@MN-zh2vd]

3 bathroom breaks in a year like they do in public schools, even high school. After that they start docking your pay lol

[@MN-zh2vd]

@asdrubale bisanzio adult diaper sales will be up 🤣

[@MN-zh2vd]

@asdrubale bisanzio smart, smart. Every second counts when you're making the CEO a billionaire. If you're successful maybe the CEO will fire you in person when you're no longer needed rather than snail mail.

[@MN-zh2vd]

@asdrubale bisanzio Yep. That deep down sense of accomplishment that makes you feel so much better even in the face of your own impending homelessness. Good stuff! 🤣

[@FrankS111]

NOBODY likes those massive open office plans. It is purely so your overlords can watch everything you do. I love doing my engineering work from home. The most productive I’ve ever been. Nobody can just walk over to my desk and bother / distract me

[@Steven-ud8kz]

The company that I work for is so "working from home" now that we are subleasing our office. I wonder if a company would negotiate with workers to go back to the office by offering pay raises or "in-office" bonuses. That would be an interesting incentive.

[@CarbonJackal13]

They hardly wanna give people an extra 5% per year for doing a good job being in office pre-rona. Personally, I would have to get a 20% raise permanently.

[@dogelife7901]

I wouldn't do it for double pay. My QOL outweighs numbers in my account.

[@GeneralChangFromDanang]

They're kinda doing that. Only it's the opposite. They cut your pay if you work from home.

[@jerryhicks9025]

Yeah the assigned time slots for lunch pretty much killed the sales pitch lol

[@AeriaGl0ris]

The VP really wants to take everyone all the way back to high school, of all times.

[@ahmer9800]

this reaction video is gold

[@adryncharn1910]

If you can do all your work on computers, why do you even need an office? Can't you just do everything from your home?

[@Tnargav]

Weird micromanagement psychos can't stand they can't control every 5 minutes of your time at work.

[@itzdm0r3]

They must observe the employees in their natural habitat and say "see, we ARE getting stuff done!"

[@sanansa4567]

that is exactly the reason they are trying to force people to come back, they have a vested interested because they have long term real estate contracts (or they own the property and it is a lot harder to sell real estate at market price if it is vacant). In addition, I think CEO's of larger organizations are being pushed by the Government to force their workers to come back. The work force spends BILLIONS of dollars of their net income in having to work in an office (commuting expenses gas/car maintenance,paying for parking in some cases, getting hair cuts more often/ails done for women, buying more office clothing/shoes, lunch/coffee/going to stores in the area of the office, the list goes on and on). I save at least $250 a month not having to go into the office, if I worked in New York City like I used to (I would be saving almost $500 a month in not having to commute and other expenses I mentioned above), that is a LOT Of money of your net income after taxes for people who make average income.

[@vaexperience]

Do people really care how the office interior looks like anymore?

[@isray89]

I care very much. Then again, I started a business with a fellow PhD student right before the pandemic hit. We intentionally made our company fully remote from day one. So, IRL, I really just care how my apartment looks!

[@frankfurteranimus]

The guy from Snowlake looks like he hates his job, his life - or both. Jesus, how did this company video make post-production?

[@Laroc1982]

The only office I could ever be lured to, is a private office with a door that closes and locks, and is not see-through; a private bathroom with a toilet and sink and mirror, a window that opens and receives real sunlight at least part of the day, and the ability to park my car less than 15 seconds away from it all.

[@KGMyuR3w]

I have never been to my company. However, I can say that my company is doing much more to convince me to return to the office than Snowflake and they are not really pushing it. At this point it is just an option available to me. However, if I return to the office I can get an office (a literal room not a cubicle to do my work in). The CEO also said that he could assign my elementary school child an adjacent office where he could do his remote school. The complex - we are told - has plenty of masks and sanitizer and everyone has to wear a mask. Company policy forbids anyone with a fever or just not feeling well from being at the office. Those few things put my company light years ahead of Snowflake in luring me back to the office, but still I am not going.

[@elmaLLe91]

I rarely comment but that 'aw fock off!' made me laugh so hard! xD

[@1str1ker]

Called snowflake because it's a database structure. They are really hot in the cloud database industry which is why they have all this money.

[@UmbertoDOvidio]

Yep, and to be honest it doesn't look like a bad place to work

[@dogelife7901]

Well we found the simps.

[@OppaiAI]

@@dogelife7901 And we found a looser

[@ericlefeld8059]

Love my dose of keeping it real with Josh Fluke.

[@rise_and_reborn4048]

Love how they try to made the most bland and mundane things sound luxurious and an amazing step forward

[@papercraneblog]

Thx for exposing corporate management trickery and abuse of their employees. Your vids are amazing

[@thejimd]

The REAL "lure" is the ever present threat of being without health insurance if you don't capitulate.

[@skj9163]

Since a LOT of people's health issues surround their job, it's the old catch 22 with a twist. "You'll pay 10% of your gross pay for the health insurance we've contracted, so that when your mind and body eventually rebels against the stress we have put you under, then you might be able to pay three times the cost for cobra!"

[@Seattle-2017]

The thing is, you'll be healthier when you don't work there anymore. In addition, there's the question about what health care actually covers/doesn't cover, which you often find out after the fact.

[@jangtheconqueror]

What's up with those dividers, like they give hardly any screen privacy and definitely don't do anything to block people's breath from getting to their neighbors. I worked at a place with larger dividers and they still weren't enough for comfort. They gave us standing desks, which was nice, but the dividers were too low so we'd be staring at other people if we used them. Pretty much everyone worked sitting in the end

[@JayMaverick]

We have balls and chains in six different colors so everyone can choose their own ball&chain combo!

[@DoomPotato]

Well return to the office is going to be fun for some companies. During pandemic some of them had amazing increase in productivity, over time and employees happiness. All that will end with going back to the office.

[@errrzarrr]

You want social distancing? Let people work from home. You want to protect them from COVID? Let them work from home Lunch time slots? An excuse to microcontrol.

[@Reyna3103]

Your videos bring me so much joy, I love the stuff you do. You make me feel understood. For me it's only two years and then I'm out of the corporate world! Especially the video "why I am a great worker but a trash employee" it was so sobering seeing that others are also going through that. Thank you!

[@MattBee2k2]

Josh please check out and take care of your posture. I've had pain issues for years related to it and throughout my time watching you I always focus on your neck/shoulders and I can feel the tension I see in them through the screen haha; I'd hate to have you go through anything similar. Definitely worth getting on top of while it's not an issue as that will definitely cause a lot of pain issues down the line one day. You just have that forward head, hunched shoulders and tilted back neck that I developed and that many other heavy computer users tend to have in this sedentary time. Love the videos dude!

[@ozzieggg]

The vastly open office with uncomfortable looking furniture looking like you may sit there, but you just can't shake the feeling you probably shouldn't.

[@jutau]

Bigger Conference room table means more money spent. They could have started with training tables that can be joined together or pulled apart to provide for socially distanced seating. OR just let people keep working from home and let people come in when they feel ready.

[@ellie3792]

"Hey guys, please give up home working and come back to the office. If you do, you'll get no drawers at your desk, a £1.50 bottle of hand sanitiser, and a set lunch slot at a time when you're not hungry and possibly without anyone you know. Btw if you can't open the toilet door with your foot, guess you'll have to hold it in all day. But please come back, we've got a plastic polar bear with a mask on."

[@hjackson.92]

It doesn't look like Snowflake is promoting much social distancing, considering how the conference rooms and desk areas are set up. How much did the company spend making all of these changes, I wonder. . .

[@inventor4279]

0:50 WHY IS MY MAN SO HUNCHED

[@MAN-pp4qg]

Anyone else catch the Iron Throne and the "I am king of my workers" vibe at 6:45 ?

[@leonrobinson8180]

These bosses are narcissists. They'll pay MILLIONS just for the ability to micromanage people

[@deanchur]

Take a shot every time you hear the words "collaborate" or "collaborative"

[@Jaakeup]

I'm so confused by the desks. So you're telling me that, if I were to go back into the office, but I forgot to reserve a desk at the office in which I work at, I would just be left high and dry sitting in this "furniture-less" building? Did I miss the point of having reservable desks? The whole idea is moronic and childish, my community college had a more appealing desk setup than that.

[@areallyboredguy5825]

Two months later: unfortunately we have had to have a workforce family reduction. Due to some hardships we have to lay off 250 of our family due to 40mn of debt. Also we had a fabulous year and the debt isn’t due for 15 years and all projections say I will get my stock bonus and second yacht. We regret that we had to do this. We are family and value you.

[@Seattle-2017]

And now I'm going to buy back company stock from the after-yacht leftover money I got in my bonus.

[@GGWP-nx3kn]

Wow! 😳 Talk about living in an alternate reality! They spent money on useless workspace HR horseshite instead of doing something great for their employees who keep their company afloat during lockdowns! Micro-managers are sweating! 😰

[@brpadington]

I can't wait for this open office trend to die. Literally the worst idea ever. They managed to make the office even more uncomfortable to go to.

[@ripmomcovid4678]

Let me bottom-line this for them: companies and employers need to learn that our lives, and those of our families, are worth something. *When my mother was killed by trump's covid, as a thirty-year long work- aholic, I started asking myself tough questions: is it okay for me to continue to risk my life? Is it okay for me to risk the lives of my elderly parents to whom I deliver? No.* If some people can work remote from home, then what do I have to learn to be able to work remote from home? Employers can either make that happen or pay significantly more for "essential" workers. I was an "essential" worker for thirty years, most of the time close to minimum wage. Hears how that sounds: "You ARE coming in in this historic snow storm or we will come get you." "I can't. I live an hour and a half away and the state highway is closed, so if you are in an accident, you're insurance company won't pay." Not able to put my family's necks in that noose again. I only have one parent now, and I have to stand up for him.

[@markroberts8416]

If the CDC says we don't need to wear masks indoors anymore post-vaccination why the heck would I wear one in the office.

[@jordanpetty4356]

You’re reactions to corporate culture are my favorite to watch!

[@RandomChristianMusings]

*This HAS TO be a parody video! If it is, I approve of this Aussie's sick-n-twisted sense of humor. If not, all I can say is YIKES! LOL*

[@podell111]

I already see that office in my nightmares. And yes I have spent some time in an office like that.

[@kamil4151]

May I ask what is nightmarish about it? There are people working in mines, oil rigs and sewages, and many have no work at all - that is my nightmare. This is just an easy work in average modern office. That dude sure is trying hard to oversell it, but so are you overselling your comment by calling it a nightmare.

[@akshat1997]

@@kamil4151 just because “someone has it worse” doesn’t mean that we don’t have the right to feel shitty about shitty things

[@kamil4151]

@@akshat1997 It's always about perspective, but if your nightmare is the office from this video, I would really wish to be you.

[@cw2054]

@@kamil4151 the whole point to all of this is if you can do your job remotely and you want to then you should be able to. A company should not be forcing you to come into an office. There are a few people who like going into the office, more power to them but the overwhelming majority do not want to and we shouldn't be forced to. So these CEO's trying to bullshit & lying to force workers in office is the nightmare.

[@kamil4151]

@@cw2054 This is hot cloud company with many offices across the world so I do not think they are forcing anybody. Good clue about that is that you do not have an assigned seat, but you have to reserve one in case you go to office for whatever reason. Looking at this video, my guess is the company made a poll how for employees what would make them go back (I filled in such a poll too for my company) , and people mostly said things like they are afraid of covid because of course they said that instead of "I just want to be at home anyway", which this guys team translated into those weird perks of having your own board wiper and foot handle on toilet doors. All in all though, I do not see any good advice in these kinds of videos. If you want to stay at home - put it in your contract. If you want strict work hours, put it in your contract. If they "force" you to go to office, just find a different contract. If you already signed a contract and it requires you to be 4 days in the office and you do not want to, well the problem is elsewhere and bitching on the internet aint gonna solve it.

[@HH-le1vi]

The biggest reason that most companies don't want to let go of their office is that it will eliminate the big tax write off that the office and it's related expenses create. The lose the office, they lose a chunk of tax write offs on a usually appreciating asset and thats worth more than not having one at all.

[@jutau]

They should rebrand and call themselves delicately frozen vapors.

[@Blackjack09721]

I hope people are able to not work for companies like this, and still be able to survive. This whole "make them desperate so they have no other choice but to work for us" business model, needs to be eliminated.

[@JFCOAREZA]

I hope the same

[@jimcarriesa1911]

A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[@Seei8none]

“A lunch, B lunch, C lunch, and D lunch” 😂😂😂

[@vsekvsek]

I too wonder whats gonna happen because we have gone from extreme freedom and now have to revert back to extreme micromanagement. I guess it was leaked that one of our execs is expecting to loose up to 30% of the devs as they wont come back. Bet it ends up higher than that

[@duncanbug]

That’s crazy! It’s really insane how these companies talk about optimization so much but saving money and more actual working hours hurts their ego too much.

[@invincible769]

I would be really annoyed to have to carry around a whiteboard marker everywhere I go... 🤣

[@Sarteth]

Keep it in your locker, since it's obvious there's no assigned seating and you can't leave it in a drawer in your desk. Grab it only when you're headed into a whiteboard-enabled virtual conference office with a TV so you have to turn your back on your client to write on the whiteboard so they can see what you're saying. Yeah, that makes sense.

[@invincible769]

@@Sarteth 😂

[@sysye]

If only my home was as big as this office, damn what a waste of space 😂😭

[@ristopaasivirta9770]

I renovated my office as well (ie. cleaned my room).

[@namedavid9447]

They always do everything but give money out