Social Skills Everyone Should Know

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Find out more in our full article on this topic ☞ www.scienceofpeople.com/social-skills/

[@ramnauthramjattan8744]

Am

[@akashsekar4007]

Is that normal to be magnet... because I tend to feel bit overwhelmed of it ....

[@akashsekar4007]

I can say yes for 12 of this but can't say yes for Chameleon /Linchpin

[@inam4902]

i need your email id to connect with you on linkedin.

[@boonesamuel1935]

i dont mean to be so off topic but does any of you know a tool to get back into an Instagram account..? I was stupid lost my login password. I appreciate any assistance you can offer me

[@abuhuraira3685]

Sometimes the people you think don't want to talk to you are the ones waiting for you to talk to them

[@brunobilandzija1823]

i can tell you - focus and practice ;)

[@roarrrist]

no way

[@sponge7464]

Can confirm

[@agentjordan605]

Oh interesting

[@sal2417]

Sometimes the people you think don't want to fu€k are the main people who actually want to fu€k you

[@blinddatereject]

1) Glue - keep people together 2) Conversationalist - articulate 3) Comedian 4) Speaker 5) Influencer 6) Listener 7) Magnet 8) Storyteller 9) Nurturer 10) Decoder 11) Leader 12) Connector 13) Dreambuilder 14) Chameleon Not sure the point of this video... just to inform? Can these skills be learned or are they just a part of our nature?

[@thairinkhudr4259]

I guess part of the reason for this video is to identify which skill/s you resonate with naturally and to find ways to amplify those skills.

[@onatone]

This is more so of an overview of the many "roles" of social interactions. What I assume the video is for is to identify the traits you resonate with the most naturally and identify the traits you are not that very good at. With that information you can work and amplify the traits you already have and the ones you dont atleast you can work on. Knowing what you are and cant do can help you understand yourself much more this is helpful when meeting new people and work situations.

[@taras4352]

It was interesting to me and if you want to learn more and develop one of these more, like listening, she has an online school/ program. :)

[@worldofmine6175]

She said she has a site so u can go and learn them

[@darleenperry1012]

@@worldofmine6175 of course. Follow the 💰

[@honeybunnybunny1958]

As someone with no friends or family and no college education I have a hard time socializing and being confident your videos have most definitely gotten me jobs

[@CraftyBirdGirl]

Hey, nice username xD

[@honeybunnybunny1958]

Honeybunni99 haha you too 🤣🐰🐰🐰

[@juliec9531]

You are special and amazing :) want to be friends?

[@gracebediako1666]

Same no college no friends just been working good jobs

[@robertburton393]

Hope you found some friends at work

[@fenfrk]

Here's a secret. People who feel they don't have good social skills can be something the world cannot get enough of, a great listener. Quite honestly, people are dying to be heard, and in this fast paced world, there are not enough good listeners. To talk to someone, have them really hear you, is gold. Fake talk is everywhere, good listening is not.

[@kyriademba6703]

Nurturer has no boundaries, they re kind of caring too much and sometimes get disappointed because they think everyone must be like them

[@thatswhatteesaid]

This is me. Work my ass off to keep friendships, remember bdays, text people and plan events... It is not often reciprocated :(

[@globalvillage423]

They are also gullible, indecisive and risk averse.

[@adeelali8417]

@@thatswhatteesaid Set boundaries. Remember boundaries are loving not to only to keep people out but to let the right people in.

[@JesusHernandez-ht1hm]

Yourself is truly a captivating awkward human being Vanessa, I admire and appreciate you!

[@Aclien2]

"Effortlessly"... That was SO CUTE.

[@TheX16xel]

Hehe... i am not a native English speaker and... in my native language i got.. some t.twisters... examples folow: "W Strzebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie.". "Szosą suchą". Translations: 1st: a bug buzzes in the bushes (in a village named Strzebrzeszyn). 2nd: "on a dry road"

[@artiolbregu2456]

Yeph for sure

[@Rooster1508]

There is another skill. Active Listening. In a small group when a person is presenting I listen carefully and if something is not clear I will interrupt and ask for more details. This let the speaker know you are paying attention and are interested.

[@adibhutani9977]

Listener was one of the type of the social skills she mentioned. So maybe you’re not that good a listener apparently :P

[@obende]

@@adibhutani9977 I believe active listening is different from just regular listening because it requires you to immediately respond rather than just being quiet -- hence OP mentioning interrupting, but not interrupting disrespectfully. But yeah I can agree active listening is a subset of listening. It's just different enough to be separate though.

[@adibhutani9977]

Jay G Sounds quite right. Agreed.

[@akni3547]

Decoder?

[@Jeff-zf6uy]

I like to look for frowning or unhappy countenance and smile and start a conversation and listen to them and respond to what is on their minds. Sometimes I feel useless, but then when I go out and let people know they are of value it bounces back and makes me feel better too. The reason I do it is because I have been there at many times, invisible, of no interest to anyone and don't like seeing other people feeling that way, so I reach out and love them.

[@honeybunnybunny1958]

I just want to say I absolutely appreciate your existence. Thank you for sharing and helping awkwards world wide 😇

[@thesaxon5847]

That was really insightful, I hadn't thought that deeply before about what I meant by wanting to improve my social skills. This breaks it down really well and makes it clear what I need/want to improve upon. The fact that you have a plethora of resources for me to now look into is very impressive. Thank you Vanessa

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Oh wow! That's so wonderful to know! You're most welcome! 💖🙏🏻

[@marianormann9599]

You’re the only person on the internet I trust about charisma tips. Thank you for the content!

[@adaphrochajio9927]

Like her fluently Like her enthusiasm Like her magnetising ability Like her strong personality She does look like actress galgadot. May be she can be the next wonder women..😅😅😊😊 Very informative..(science of people) ...ThanksVVE

[@BioPhilReturns]

Vanessa talks about showing vulnerability and not trying to be perfect is a great trait of personality and I love how she shows it in that video, Love the book and the video

[@goldenlioness868]

I’ve tried to be more open but often when I show venerability it gets used against me. There I go back into my shell of not trusting people.

[@elainee313]

Is anyone else here feeling like you have none of these skills?

[@Bliss_Corner]

Exactly, i feel so bankrupt social skill wise

[@Ronaldinho1312]

You can learn it. Vanessa is a great teacher. Charly Houpert and Olivia Fox Cabane are also good teachers. But Vanessa alone is enough to become a "social god" :D

[@justoverbroke8063]

Yeah I only related to comedian

[@beemo9]

Make up a category - how would you describe yourself?

[@jeka13443]

@@justoverbroke8063 this is a solid one! I think I'm only a listener

[@iBreVen]

can u make a vid about how to improve every one of them

[@julystylez5087]

I love u because you help non sociable people....People are most concern with being judged and have a tough time overcoming it

[@metheyoshi]

I like how you explained and thought of all these aspects. It's getting my mind going on how to improve. Things I could focus on more directy.

[@aaronarunasalam3989]

Thanks ma'am.. based on the 14 social skills which you've elaborated, I've identified my top 3 social skills which I'm good at: 1) COMEDIAN 2) LISTENER 3) DREAM BUILDER

[@amywilson8824]

My husband and I are both magnets. I did not know this is a social skill! Also I’m conversationalist but I tend to like story tellers because that’s not my best quality. We are also both great nurturers. We are a perfect match. I am also a decoder! Very cool. This is a great video!

[@keylanoslokj1806]

So you r the hypernormies couple 😂

[@naragrace3870]

I thought I didn’t have any of these social skills but I’m actually a conversationalist! Good to know!

[@ItsMoneyMakingMitch]

this insight of the different kind of social skills, i wasnt even aware was a thing. I knew them seperately but never occured to me that they are under a umbrella. This was great! thank you!

[@greggillson388]

Just as i feared. I have no social skills whatsoever.... I don't fear public speaking, but don't seek it out. Some people think I'm funny, but i don't want to entertain. Spontaneous unscripted conversations are dreadful (better since studying Captivate) but i have a phobia of telephone conversations, especially making them. I'm great at writing. Fibres me a chance to organize my thoughts and vocabulary.

[@LauraWald]

Thank you! This is incredibly informational. One more thing...can you please shar the make and model of your microphone. Your sound is excellent.

[@nick55ification]

You're deffff a magnet😊 and thanks for the vid! I'm always interested in breakdowns, categories and lists so thanks! I feel like we'd get a long well. But I'm also not a great listener lol but I practice and can do it

[@doubleojenn]

Hahaha I had the worst time trying to say ‘subsequently’ during a presentation!! It was exactly the same as you here!

[@linneasundell8682]

I recently found you and I admire you so much, I wish to have your confidence and social skills

[@lolalo6174]

You can work on it

[@JohnDoe-qq8et]

I can never picture you as anything close to socially awkward.

[@Toggy287]

The way you compliment and explain makes me think you really care xo

[@ScienceOfPeople]

♥️♥️

[@TC-rv6sz]

Wow, I rarely find videos where more than 50% of it is cool new stuff I've never heard of before. Thank you thank you Vanessa for sharing this! I decided this week that I'm going to stop making excuses for my crippling social anxiety and develop some skills to help me better put myself out there and live life more fully.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Oh I love to hear this!! You're so welcome. You got this ❤️

[@socialglitch2663]

Man, I’m terrible in all areas. But not a surprise! I appreciate the breakdown. It’s good to know there are different skillsets within the larger skillset.

[@orionanderson6719]

I like how you made that comeback at the end with that very excellent pronunciation. Thank you very much for the content and have a great day

[@t0neknee86]

Amazing social skills, thanks Vanessa. Blessings from Puebla, Mexico.

[@all-up]

We need them more than ever in crowded areas, life savers indeed. .

[@shivampradhan6101]

seriously i opened this video with very less expectation . but this is just the one basic video requires to improve myself which was missing .Thanks.

[@jadevanita6654]

Bravo for your great work Vanessa. You are incredible and I love you more than you know!

[@GeorgeKorobkov]

sooo cool!!! Vanessa, you so positive and sweet! :) I love you and your video. Thank you very much for such an amazing effort!

[@alyssaherren8957]

Overall I'm a Chameleon but my strongest skills are magnet, conversationalist, dream builder. The ones I'd like to improve are speaker, story teller, linchpin or leader.

[@alyssaherren8957]

It's also mind blowing that I'm a veryyyy natural conversationalist and social butterfly. I fit in with anyone and I'm good at fixing their problems and having good conversations, but I thought that's how everyone was so it's crazy to me reading the comments here like "I have no skills" I'm just baffled. That's so different for me to grasp.

[@cUnHVN777]

Really WELL DONE video! You are effortless! I got tripped up by the title & almost passed u by! I don't "should" on me!!! Have a blessed day! Thank Q~

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thanks so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[@Deus888]

12:00 I hate networking. It's just fake friendships made to use people as tools.

[@lenaxox4167]

this really made me feel better about myself as i am a nurterer and decoder:) my sister is amazing at socialising and i have always felt inferior but i now realise i have my own strengths, thank you vanessa!

[@CreatedInHisImageStudios]

I have trouble speaking but I'm good at listening! 🤣Also a nurturer, I have trouble saying no to people though and have trouble with boundaries 😅I think I'm a dreambuilder too, I like to see the best in people and what they can accomplish

[@zzulm]

I've always been around toxic people and I know I'm glue because I see good in everyone and I end up hating it.

[@mjdny9871]

I like the Positive high energy, combined with a smile that you always maintain in all your videos and presentations. As well as the great content that you always share with us (audience).

[@irishchocolate3872]

It if funny. I don’t fall under any of these 14 social skills. I have one trait here or there but none of these 14 skills correctly describe me.

[@AntMannall]

Very good video Vanessa. Enlightening in regards these various components. Ill be looking into your class and the areas I need to improve on with you. :)

[@silversunastrology]

Sun in Leo, Virgo Rising, Moon in Capricorn 1. Decoder 2. Dream Builder 3. Listener 4. Nurtuerer 5. Comedian 6. Story Teller 7. Leader 8. Speaker 9. Chameleon 10. Influencer 11. Magnet 12. Conversationalist 13. Connector 14. Glue One thing I will say about this conversation is that it makes me very good at telling jokes that will not offend the people I am around. I know a lot of people think you can't be funny without being offensive, but I tend to know which things won't offend the specific people I am talking to. I also would not say anything mean-natured to begin with. I'm wondering how can I build on this in a way that expresses charisma though? I feel like I am very analytical, but my presentation skills fall short. You can see this in my KZbin videos. I have actually been on KZbin for a long time, and many of my videos have been copied because they had good information, but the person who copies them is usually way more charismatic and they get like 400k people watching and sharing the video, whereas it took me like 7 years to get 10k. It has made me feel a little inferior. People are thieves.

[@jenniferg6818]

Leos are so difficult and toxic in my opinion. I know all people under a sun sign are not the same, but leo's are 100%. Delusional, grandiose, argumentative, believe they know and others do not. Ego self strangulation.

[@joannametayer8628]

Great video!!! Love this❤ I learn so much about the people in my life or have crossed path with. And see these different personalities within them. So cool. Thanks

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm so glad you loved it! ❤

[@lilimontes6767]

This was a really interesting video! Does anyone have any insight/tips based on these rankings? Always looking for more ways to improve :) I got: 1. Magnet 2. Speaker 3. Leader 4. Dreambuilder 5. Influencer 6. Chameleon 7. Connector 8. Linchpin 9. Listener 10. Conversationalist 11. Decoder 12. Comedian 13. Storyteller 14. Nurturer

[@ricomedeiros9999]

Oi Vanessa! Conheci você no Canal do Lewis Howes. Gostei muito da sua entrevista falando sobre o seu livro.

[@MeadFan]

(0:59) #1 LINCHPIN (1:53) #2 CONVERSATIONALIST (3:22) #3 COMEDIAN (4:17) #4 SPEAKER (4:59) #5 INFLUENCER (5:41) #6 LISTENER (6:47) #7 MAGNET (7:36) #8 STORYTELLER (8:42) #9 NURTURER (9:30) #10 DECODER (10:35) #11 LEADER (11:38) #12 CONNECTOR (12:25) #13 DREAMBUILDER (13:06) #14 CHAMELEON

[@nurfashanaisha3891]

Thank you for this video! im thinking of improving my social skills for better life

[@tenderpr3y]

hmm. top 3: magnet, conversationalist, listener/nurturer bottom 3: speaker, storyteller, influencer. moral is i'm a self-loathing extrovert who loves people but thoroughly sucks at selling myself lol. thanks for this vid! super interesting

[@GirlTawk101]

OMG this, is by far, has been my favorite video on your page. I've been struggling to talk about myself and write a cover letter. With this video I have gain a better way to describe myself. That will actually appeal to employers. 🔥💜 Side note, leaving the blooper of you stumbling over "effortlessly" in the main part of the video. Content/relatable gold. Really great way to connect with your audience

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you!

[@imrahnmitha6404]

Vanessa's content is always excellenttt - also how awesome is her energy ?

[@mattpasco3750]

I honestly like you SO MUCH MORE after seeing you keep the funny B-reel out takes in this video, thank you

[@outps]

Sad I officially have zero social skills!

[@outps]

@Uvoicer Text To Speech this is supposed to be a joke, sorry you didn't get it lol

[@Dre9Mega]

Wow! I've always wondered why I could tell someone's motive by observing their movements, way of speaking, facial expressions etc. Even with the least interaction when speaking with people I can usually sense how the atmosphere is going by their slightest of movement. I'm also able to bring those around me together and help others when in need. I have a large frame so people are sometimes afraid to approach at 1st but when they see my face (babyface) or speak with me, the ice is usually broken. I get along with most people and I have a very positive nature and aim to perfect myself and those around me; in the realm of realism. I suppose that makes me a Chameleon right?

[@conversationcorner1837]

You sound very perceptive.

[@Ruby-cj7xi]

First one to watch here . You are amazingly funny and smart ❤️. I'm definitely a magnite

[@kamalthiagarajan4861]

🅘︎ 🅛︎🅞︎🅥︎🅔︎ 🅤︎

[@satisham5885]

Excellent. Thank you for making this video ❤️.

[@greggillson388]

There's no such thing as awkward silence. Silence is golden. On the other hand I've had numerous awkward conversations...

[@alan2102X]

"Awkward" = important if unpleasant truth being revealed, somehow.

[@Erudite48085]

LOVE her!! 💘 Funny but very educational and super helpful tips. 👍 And she does it......effortlessly! Giggle!😆🤣😉

[@yashathawale3291]

Advantageous video 👌👌😇 Informative

[@MANDS81]

😅 You had me at Effort...liley , great example of being real 😊 👋 love the content

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thanks for watching! =)

[@kaiak3520]

My top three are decoder, connector and dream builder. Perfectly suits my career.

[@ingriddryden1607]

The high neurotic in me is starting to sweat... I made it to social skill #8 and still haven't found my top 3 skills😬

[@shahfaraz9770]

Well Done Great Thanks for educating us

[@ScienceOfPeople]

It's my pleasure! Thanks for watching.

[@Top40Music]

Thank You So Much for this Great Video! It was so helpful.

[@HowToADU]

You do this so EFFORTLESSLY :)

[@CarlosRDuran]

I’m devouring all Vanessa content, super powerful and super useful information, it’s helping me out and also my students. I’m determined to learn every single pice of Vanessa’s work. ❤❤❤❤

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I am SO thrilled to hear that. ❤ Thank you for being here!

[@moses1202]

I’ve learned lots of those skills growing up as kid of preacher and evangelist. I’m not good at all of them, but I’m doing good at some of them or at least have tried for need.

[@erinsedra788]

Was wondering why I had one or two of ever skill and didn’t have a three on many of them until you got to chameleon. So excited to start practicing these skills!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I love it! Let me know how it goes! 😄

[@jjk9o9]

Excellent info ! Thank you

[@aadrienn]

im definitely the best at decoding and listening

[@mikabeki9625]

Me: Linchpin, conversationalist, listener, decoder, leader, dream-builder. Usually, I talk more when it's a face-to-face conversation with 2-3 people and I listen more when it's a bigger group or public talk. Now I see that I wasn't necessarily bad at social skills because I talked less in the crowds but it was more diverse.

[@honeybunnybunny1958]

I am becoming a decoder :O omg am I a wizard girl this video has done opened my eyes I thought I wa skillless talentless 😢 THANK YOU

[@andyfield7397]

after you got stuck on "effortlessly" - I couldn't say it either 😂😂😂 !!!

[@jennicalowellhawkins3742]

Vanessa, how do you suggest using this in a team situation? I'm trying to become a better manager by leveraging everyone's strengths....

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Hi Jennica, great question! Here are some of our articles that should provide an answer: www.scienceofpeople.com/dream-team/ www.scienceofpeople.com/lead-a-team/ www.scienceofpeople.com/team-meeting-ideas/

[@magnoliablanche]

Thank you for sharing your video! This was extremely helpful. Vanessa, can you give some examples of public figures who are magnets?

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You're welcome! I'm glad it was helpful. I will keep this in mind for future videos :)

[@Mada_94_]

Loved the video!❤️ If I am a conversationalist only, what carreers should I pursue?

[@qwertyqwerty1955]

Vanessa: I just discovered your YT site ! You cover topics that I had been looking for ! at 2:18 it seemed that you were using the "pratfall effect" ! Although unintentional, it did make me like you even more !

[@FearlessLeis]

Dreambuilder, nurturer, leader, chameleon, comedian, decoder Aspiring: listener, influence, magnet.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Love it!

[@ab-jc8nv]

Hi

[@gowithdflo]

Very informative as usual. I had to rewatch because the difference between linchpins and connectors wasn't clear to me. Was anyone else stumbled by that differentiation?

[@LushezAmber89]

The conversationalist flub... I identified with this part so much. Thanks for not editing it out. It makes your message feel more authentic and relatable, especially as a narrator working on articulating 😅🫣

[@conversationcorner1837]

I have never heard of social skills put forward like this. I identified best with the label of "conversationalist".

[@joseabad2552]

Thanks for sharing my favorite tip was the comedian have a great day ❤

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You're welcome! Thank you for watching. ❤

[@denielleastano2053]

I really appreciate your video all the time it really help me by self development even i am at work i always listen to your video GOD BLESS

[@juandavid018]

I love following and learning just about everything you put out. I am a = (Magnet + influencer + decoder + chameleon) with my most dominant trait as decoder. I believe the type of work I do has forced me to become those mixed styles. I wish I was a comedian and less of a nurturing listener outside of business. Do you have any tips how to flip the switch and adjust one's personality traits from the business world into a more social/family/fun environment and less critical? I struggle with my work personality flowing into my family/ friends environment. Look forward to your next video.

[@fosteringleaders9872]

I am very bad in social skills and reading people. I was raised by a Psychopath with no feelings or emotions. He severely punished emotion (laughter, cries etc). I was not allowed to talk about feelings and I could not bring friends home. Thanks for helping me so much with your videos.

[@BillieBluntTV]

Wow!! Look at her smile!

[@sunnylight5753]

I used to do Story Telling until I felt I screwed up my moms obituary, I thought I was a narcissist until I realized I *was* Nervous & Sad at the time. I miss her yet I’m the parson I am today because of my parent imperfect upbringing & My Choice in Life. I used to be a *Great Listener* Today I feel as if I’ve become a complainer. So I hardly talk to those I LOVE at all these days :( Thank you.

[@jordan.silverman]

I'm a magnet. I can both push people apart and attract people to myself :)

[@venkatesapalanithangavelu]

Hi Vanessa That's Chill - Kudos ✌️

[@noncebadube7353]

Lol I really got connected to your energy as soon as you started talking. I even subscribed.

[@davyzoehinga2760]

Thanks for sharing . That let me know That i am a leader

[@goodgirlvicki]

I'm definitely a comedian, leader and conector

[@vancipriano]

Omg I want to hear you finish that word effortlessly

[@meechandise6557]

lol I have none I’m the quiet one with stress and anxiety. Thanks to social anxiety

[@WillOliveira]

Thank you for share your knowledge