How to get someone to like you

It can be hard to make friends and sometimes we don't even know where to begin. There's a science to likability and I've compiled 5 science-backed tips to use when you feel stuck in a social rut.
In this video, I will teach you how to be more likable, confident, and memorable by authentically being yourself. Remember that you are awesome and the right people will always find you.
Want more details on how to supercharge your likability?
👉 www.scienceofpeople.com/likea...
Captivate anyone you talk to with my book Captivate! Get your copy here: www.amazon.com/Captivate-Vane...
In this video:
0:00 Intro
0:55 Science Behind Likability
2:02 Step #1: Use signaling
4:40 Step #2: We like people who like us
5:41 Step #3: Use the similarity attraction effect
6:33 Step #4: Highlight similarities
8:05 Step #5: Be the real deal
8:51 I like you
******
If you’re ready to level up your charisma, check out our flagship course, People School: bit.ly/2yUf0WR
People School is a 12-step video-based training program designed to increase your interpersonal intelligence. People School focuses on the four core competencies of Business PQ:
• Empower Leaders and Managers
• Leverage Science-Backed Communication Tools
• Activate Effective Teamwork and Collaboration
• Improve Client Relations & Sales
👉People School registration is now OPEN! Sign up here: www.scienceofpeople.com/train...
******
Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you.
Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: www.scienceofpeople.com/
My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also a multi-time bestselling author of:
Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication (www.scienceofpeople.com/cues/) Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (www.scienceofpeople.com/capti...) and I am the creator of People School. This advanced video communication course is for high achievers who want to be confident communicators.
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again.
PS - Get our free 60-minute online trainings: www.scienceofpeople.com
+ Join the party on Instagram: / vvanedwards
******
Vanessa Van Edwards is Lead Investigator at Science of People - where she unlocks the formulas and patterns behind human behavior for hundreds of thousands of students in over 200 countries. She is the national bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People, available in 14 languages around the world. Her work has been featured on CNN, NPR, BBC, Fast Company and dozens more.
Can’t get enough of Science of People? Check out our Praiseworthy Performance audio guide
👉 www.scienceofpeople.com/start/
******
Did you enjoy the video? If so, give it a like above!
Subscribe to our channel for more human behavior hacks and communication strategies
👉 / vanessavanedwardsyt
P.S. Make sure to keep up with us by clicking the bell!
#vanessavanedwards #peopleskills #likeable

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Supercharge your likability and learn more about it in the article: www.scienceofpeople.com/likeable-get-people-to-like-you/

[@suneetrachapudi6903]

I LIKE YOU

[@doubledoc7807]

I like you, Vanessa..

[@Dmm3333]

I’m a human and animal magnet 🧲 but my husband son and fiancé barely look at me on the eyes when having a conversation with my husband or in a family meal. They only talk to my husband and the rest of the family. I have tried now for 3 years to get closer to them and be friends but I just gave up. I believe I don’t have to be begging to be liked by them when the rest of people around me love me.

[@marygiy7524]

@@suneetrachapudi6903I.

[@geejae4243]

be careful of attracting narcs and people who talk to you because you're such a great listener- but who wont genuinely listen back when it comes to your end.

[@sallymay3643]

TRUE !

[@melanielambrecht6530]

Too late

[@minerolargo8657]

What's a narc

[@59thanks61]

Ya, also be careful with listening too much because, sometimes people just want to "Dump" on you.

[@loratoad]

Being likeable doesn't mean you have to listen to people who provide no value to you, hog the conversation and reciprocate interest. People also like people who have healthy boundaries. It's not authentic to keep listen to someone you're not interested in.

[@mohanpanickerpanicker8767]

"I like you. Let's be friends" The good olden days

[@msgirly6827]

Right😂

[@lunamoonlight5102]

Is that what they did back in the day?

[@zephyr1327]

@@lunamoonlight5102 probably means when he/she were young

[@lewokecrybabyjames5828]

That's some weak tea dude. Lmao 🤣

[@blackpurple9163]

Now that'll put me in the wrong spot

[@pro12222222]

1 signal likability 2 If you like more people, more people like you 3 Highlight similarities

[@CCCC-tq8yo]

Whow everyone hates me now

[@shaanbullet]

you missed some points bud

[@soultears9736]

Why do people like I hate everything then? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[@hanestshirtsarecool]

The last time I said "hey baby girl,,, I like you😉" I was arrested🙁

[@Amoona851]

1. Use signaling (show liking) 2. We like people who like us ( the more we like people, the more people like us) 3. Use the similarity attraction affect 4. Highlight similarities ( we like people who are similar to us) 5. Be the real deal ( be real)

[@Poetry4Peace]

YESSIRRR when i get back to being in a social situation i need to do this ive locked myself in my mind lmao

[@anniem2777]

The more we like someone the more they like us is a lie

[@4lezcollection]

God, I can’t even tell you how much your videos have helped me in just a span of 2 days. I found you literally two days ago and followed everything you’ve said so far and I’m already saying hello to strangers, making conversation with strangers, smiling more, and just feel overall more comfortable in my own skin. I’m typically very shy, introverted, and would always just walk around with a serious face to avoid talking to people. Boy, have things changed. Thank you.

[@varshboorugadda2327]

W

[@4lezcollection]

@@varshboorugadda2327 Yes.

[@varshboorugadda2327]

@@4lezcollection how you doing now bro?

[@luckyboy2933]

it’s been 6 months… how are you now?

[@4lezcollection]

@@luckyboy2933 I’m doing way better than I was back then. I feel significantly more comfortable in my own being. Additionally, I tried a 100-interaction-challenge at the same time and this also helped a lot. I’ve excelled a lot both in the workplace and outside of it. It’s great. Watching these videos was a really good starting point for me.

[@CapCrunch45]

The fourth point about being real reminds me of some childhood wisdom the late Mister Rogers taught: “You've made this day a special day, by just your being you. There's no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.”

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Yes! Love it. Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@amb3rmous3]

Being liked is very important. You can love someone you don’t like. That says something lol

[@iamhope8556]

I am over coming depression, always felt like people just do not like me. I am going to use your teaching to become better, thank you

[@ariannaturtles6489]

Same

[@Kteeee]

I hope you’ve made it through your depression 2 years later but just wanted to give a tip. Something I learned myself at a very young age and has served me well my whole life (I haven’t even watched this video yet) This tip is also a great way to help with depression because in a way ur helping somebody else. Putting your own problems and worries aside to listen to someone else’s story makes you feel valuable, appreciated and gives u a sense of purpose, which is what all of us are looking for. Why do u think so many people who suffer from depression become therapists?! ‘Give a man and why and he’ll endure almost any how’ -Nietzsche So here’s my tip: If you treat every person you meet as if they are an unopened book filled with interesting ideas, stories, quirks, skills and things you can learn and then you simply ask them about themselves in a genuine manner and show interest as if ur about to learn something new, interesting and useful, people will talk your ears off about themselves and their lives. Then just relate to them with a few things they’ve said but keep it at a minimum and don’t talk too much about yourself. Keep the focus on them. Be interested. Be understanding. Don’t be judgmental. Try to relate to what they are saying. People will remember that u made them feel interesting and useful and wanted and understood. All the things everyone wants to feel. They won’t like u. They’ll love u. And they won’t forget you especially in this narcissistic age we live in. This rarely doesn’t work in my opinion. Everyone has a story to tell and everyone is looking for someone to tell it to. Our epidemic of loneliness is due to an epidemic of narcissism and self-centeredness. Everyone is too busy caring about themselves to ask how their neighbor is doing and quietly everyone is crying alone in their bedrooms. If you become that person who genuinely wants to learn about someone, they will think very highly of you and it will take the focus off yourself, which will help with depression. Just my thoughts hope ur doing better these days

[@DynastyTrickDogs]

@@Kteeee That is such a nice idea. Thanks for sharing it with us

[@Poetry4Peace]

@@Kteeee defo need to take the focus off myself waaay moreee just one MAJORE problemo is that i need frnds and people to talk too!! Im trying bumble BFF, wink and whatever else i must overcome it all or ill DIE a thousand deaths every week. I do consider myself to be a keen listener but with my loneliness since the pandemicos! I really need to be able to express my probelms with myself but getting to know someone and laughing with them is my big goal so simple, many take this for granted IM SURE😢

[@geewhiz747]

Don't become obsessed with being liked to the point where you get into "pushover" territory

[@MsBizzyGurl]

Too many implied commitments in cultivating likeability. Just be friendly. Be kind, open, cheerful and try to help others succeed.

[@IM-uh5tk]

2:05 use signalling, be direct and don't hide your feelings . 4:43 if you like more people, more people will like you . 5:43 we like people who are like us so highlight your similarities . 8:07 be real/yourself

[@aprilpointblank]

The likeability loop is sooo real. Good insight. Everyone’s scared to make the first move.

[@sophiasuerth1964]

I love how you worded the “like circle”, I agree it’s best to be direct when you like someone, you do miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. You need to voice what you feel.

[@POPDATA]

I think it's better to like yourself truly before going out and measuring your life according to what others think of you.

[@tammycompton4355]

POP DATA, you do have a very good point & Sometimes we should work on liking ourselves 1st & many seem to judge us if we don't wish to or for whatevr reasons,cannot put ourselves out there for the liking.& thanks for seeing this 1 other important side.God wants us to like ourselves 1st,& then others,Aftr we hold him the Highest King..

[@jimmykaushal9982]

Amazing person. Whole time she smiled and she sounded so sincere towards helping everyone. Each tip makes sense and she made it so simple to understand. 👏🏻great work

[@curtisfoster4256]

Vanessa’s the real, educated deal. Every word from her mouth is pure gold.

[@familyguy6668]

Vanessa your amazing, empowering and optimistic it’s almost contagious thank you so much for your hard word much love can’t wait to see more and I’m so buying your book ❤️

[@jeanpaulfiligrana6182]

This woman is an angel. You have changed my life one video at a time, thank you for opening my eyes

[@bypig]

The first tip alone helped me more than all of my years of searching KZbin for social skills. It’s so simple and make sense, thank you

[@shelizabethomas]

The second point is so relatable. I often find myself liking most people I meet, and I seem to get along with a lot of people I meet. This does not however translate into sustained friendships, I guess that effort is more...effortful

[@warzanCheecho]

You are amazing, keep going 🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️ I am just watching you these days. It makes to keep watching everyday 🦅😍💪🏽

[@adityasangore5323]

If someone like us sometimes we feel that people will have more expectations from us or vice versa.. Sometimes we run away because we feel pressured by them as they like us..

[@zephyr1327]

I think the thing that made me like this youtuber the most was her constant smile whilst talking. It made me feel safe and reassured.

[@chrisdiephuis]

This is my favorite channel let me tell you. I’m obsessed and your insight has been extremely valuable! Thank you☺️

[@lilycai7614]

I like Vanessa. She have that niceness about her that seems genuine.

[@lynnec3372]

Very useful information and I can honestly say that I have made the mistake of thinking my proficiency as a dependable, skilled worker would soar me to new heights and make me totally likeable in my profession. Not so.. you have to mingle, schmooze, laugh, relate, smile and relax around people you work with while at the SAME time, keep yourself securely insulated from those who have no intention of returning the like/love.. and with time, it becomes effortless I'm sure.

[@nasradhool6072]

I really love you Vanessa Van Edwards every single video of yours give me a hope and love and confidence you are one of my best teachers 😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@sarast7768]

You deserve more my dear💖. You are one of my favorites. You changed my life and I REALLY LIKE YOU.

[@brightcycles]

I should have found your channel two years back. I so love your content!

[@jazminsilverplans4933]

This was good. I just recently stepped out of my shell and started a KZbin. It’s my way of liking myself more. And this video just boosted me a little more. Thank you 🙏

[@magesense456]

Vanessa, you break down the science and make everything you say applicable.

[@ismaelortizsanchez3578]

In summary Dear Vanessa, I really enjoy watching you and like so much because of many many things and values you represent but most of all is because "YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE & OUT" and I mean it with capital letters. Thank You so much for your Generosity, Honesty and much more qualities... GOD BLESS YOU FOREVER....!!!

[@bredman9348]

wow. after watching an uncountable umber of these types of videos for he past few months, nothing has helped me or made more sense to me than this video! I instantly understood why people came off as not liking me. it wasn't because im a terrible person, but because I'm trying to play it cool so I don't wanna make people think I like them, just in case they don't like me. I realized I should smile and say high in the halls and assume that people like me because whats the harm in doing that. I could look back on all the social experiences I've deemed as good or bad and asses why that was so, just based off of this video! Great Job👍😀

[@chlidera75]

Thanks Vanessa, another great value-added video on social behavior. I LIKE it a lot :)

[@karrisajoss4271]

All of your videos are insightful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing the. 😊

[@ashleyisinthekitchen8945]

Vanessa, I really appreciate these videos! Thank you for sharing 😊

[@mrsmagicalmonica]

Like is the appetizer of love. That’s spot on! Vanessa, I consistently enjoy your videos.

[@soniasinghinternational]

I’m hungry for appetizers now. 😋

[@WILLYLYNCH.]

@@soniasinghinternational that sounds sexual.

[@bigthonk4904]

WILLY LYNCH no it doesn’t, ur just a perv

[@tinfoilcynic6042]

big thonk Why am i creasin at the reply 😂

[@ejl8412]

@@bigthonk4904 no hes right it does. 99% of it is cause of the emoji she used.

[@FromAgonyToLight]

I have extreme social phobia and an anxiety disorder, just trying to show people I like them (just friendship-wise) drains me and freaks me out to the point where I just want to run to a bathroom and throw up. This video helps people who are able to express confidence I feel, but I can still appreciate the tips.

[@halfinjapan]

THAT LAST PART. THANK YOU! we love you!

[@chrgutierrez]

Where have you been all this years? You rock Vanessa!!!!

[@mygreatestdayever]

This just makes me feel good! I'm ready to go out and like everybody I meet!

[@lewokecrybabyjames5828]

Some people want to just be left alone. Be careful who you talk to. Look for social cues. Like if they aren't directly looking at you they don't want to talk to you. They are just being polite.

[@MehediHasan-gl3lj]

I wish i could talk like you :( Thank you so much for the info 🙏

[@brycewelch338]

Thanks for calling me awesome Vanessa I think you are pretty awesome too!

[@JeremyKenny]

Storming it Vanessa keep it up research based findings like these enable and empower.

[@myxology]

Really cool stuff, Vanessa. I do coaching around referral marketing and your video is great confirmation of things I often discuss with my clients. I'm also a "returning student" (that's college speak for old person going back to school) and I'm pursuing a degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. I can't wait to apply information like this more often in the workplace. Thanks again for a great video!

[@johnbehneman1546]

Great video Vanessa!!!! I learned so much!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!

[@kiijordan9905]

Wow!! what a great video !! Thank you so much ...this is extremely helpful..😁

[@motosniper77]

I'm in love with you Vanessa 😁 ..... and NOT because of your stunning good looks , but because of your work to make the World a better place😘Thank you for what you do !🤗

[@upsty6499]

Overtly empowered, articulately curious with limitless powerful potential ideas flowing out 🤗🕊️

[@sanjaygurjar9650]

One of the best video on the subject of likability.

[@dsandoval3514]

Thank you for the advice. Cilantro is awesome

[@branwellesanmiguel8503]

Very detailed and cohorent to the topic. I almost didn't realize it's almost over because i was so into it. Good job! thank you so much! keep up!

[@Nikthehermit]

Watching her is so refreshing because she is genuinely really easy to like

[@awoodmann1746]

Nice video and Vanessa you are clearly a very likeable person. Thanks for the tips.

[@user-bz1wh6xe4m]

1. Use signaling (show That you like them) 2. We like people who like us ( the more we like people, the more people like us) 3. Use the similarity attraction affect 4. Highlight similarities ( we like people who are similar to us) 5. Be the real deal ( be real)

[@teepot4539]

4. Hello racism

[@BringingPrettyBack]

🤗

[@sexyearthangel4god]

5. If you’re real and eccentric you’re still only attracting a small percentage of people. So to be liked by everyone you’d indeed need to be fake.

[@pragyankakati3092]

​@@sexyearthangel4god yeah.. it's like teaching multiplicative and at the end they say "don't use × symbol"

[@rtem1sFowl]

Some of these tips are good to keep in mind especially when working in a job environment which can potentially help an employee find success. Awesome video and keep up the good work.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you, my goal is to help you guys in your careers! I'm glad you enjoyed the video! =)

[@Iguanchik]

Vanessa, this was INCREDIBLE!!! exactly what I needed ❤️

[@darrencapel1168]

LĎA

[@elizabethpatterson3982]

Thank you I appreciate that.Have a fun day.

[@henrikr3435]

I think you hold on to such a great likability, and we do not have much in common. But I still like your apperance much

[@wogeltobler869]

Thank you Vanessa, from Brazil. Your lessons is so top professional.

[@adriancurtin6012]

Information she gives out is golddust.Thought I was the only one who analysed their day after it was over.

[@jovanpantelic8536]

Love it. Great skills. Thank you

[@gauravv3367]

The presentation of your videos are beyond perfection. I don't lose interest at all throughout video 🤗

[@andigold9977]

Fantastic vid..! What you said really makes sense.....Thanks.

[@violetmujeres1034]

thank you for this video❤

[@roulaharfoush]

Thank you Vanessa!! 🙌

[@harshvardhanpandey4846]

Fantastic, really amazing guide of lifeskills you are Vanessa, i have started liking you a lot after viewing this invaluable advice on liking and expressing it openly.Feeling Reverence for u, keep enriching us, thankyou.

[@sealseba8762]

Love you Vanessa! You know your stuff.

[@alaynabaker9872]

this woman makes me feel safe

[@kelkel90ful]

I'm so grateful for her thank you Vanessa

[@jimanderson8470]

Vanessa seems easy to like and communicates well. Really expressive with her hands. Funny I haven't seen her before now.

[@chienandhang]

I love you Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@karlag478]

Thank you Vanessa!

[@TriSingsThrowbacks]

This is a gold mine for my line of work! Thank you, Vanessa!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm glad you enjoyed the video and that I can help in any way ❤

[@getfitwithanas3062]

That really helped mentally Thank you so much!

[@maometto6812]

When you said you are awesome I believed it, I almost cry must say lol, thanks!

[@joelover2631]

You are way underrated, the talent you have and work you do is amazing.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you so much!

[@joelover2631]

@@ScienceOfPeople and your beautiful.

[@tylerdurdeb7956]

I love your videos. You also have a 'likable' smile. 😊

[@izzzy14]

Basically be open and authentic , so simple yet so hard to do

[@amamuffin]

These days it’s all about boundaries which is why people remain to themselves

[@lizzie1897]

Transparency, sincerity, capacity to understand

[@abyssmanur3965]

This is why smokers get along when confined to the smokers area. i've had some great conversations with total strangers who would probably not chat with you in other circumstances.

[@mr.n476]

Factsss!

[@BoereViking]

I'm not smoker, not cigarettes anyway. And I always sit with the smokers met some good friends like that.

[@lewokecrybabyjames5828]

Smokers are disgusting human beings always throwing their cigarette buts out of the car. It's the number trash item in the entire world! Just disgraceful 😞. The world isn't your fucking ashtray.

[@dundustrendz]

When you said that you really like you ..I felt so happy

[@Olivia-light.joy.and_peace]

What a fun video lol I'm glad I discovered your channel!

[@chiefhahahaicantstoplaughi5133]

To be frank, i love your gesture and eloquency .you have really really impacted in me 😍

[@nathantoth1527]

Thank you for sharing video!

[@waleedmaghrabi3878]

You are a marvelous gift to people in need to grow up their style of life 🌷🌷

[@1975KyleDavid]

I've learned a lot about talkers to recognize someone who has low self-esteem. It's one thing to have an open conversation that includes everyone and something else when someone talks primarily about one's self. Those who talk about themselves all the time lack confidence--I stay away from them.

[@theman2017inc]

Good video and I’ll take the nuggets of wisdom from this, not a but moment yet however all that you mentioned about hiding one’s likes of others or even attraction for other people is the stuff of drama particularly “subtext”. Very few people are on the nose or straightforward and/ or authentic. As a writer who wants to be better when comes to people hiding the truth from others (or even one’s self) I want to become a master of “subtext” be psychological and/ or dramatic. Fantastic video Vanessa 🙏🏾

[@brilliantnk9672]

Thank you so much 4 dis video am inspired!

[@kirorupa]

She s one super women!!! Love all her tips!! N videos. She Soo full of energy too!!!

[@prik4727]

Sometimes this isn’t true. If you like people too much they think you are easy or low value and then they disrespect you and take you for granted. But if you’re a bit aloof and hard to get then people actually respect you and want to earn your ‘like’. Human beings are insane.

[@sarahpfeuffer1396]

Great advice! Thank you!

[@ashamehta6887]

Very true and very sweet. Thanks

[@jamalvaldez8936]

I Love Vanessa ❤ Your videos don't come out fast enough for me.

[@jamalvaldez8936]

Vanessa Van Edwards 😊 No LoL. Your welcome and your book is next on my reading list.

[@mrmshifan]

Nice video. Thank you very much for the great information. 👍

[@gautamaggarwal4173]

I like your Channel! You are so positive

[@shahanaksisikandar2165]

Best video..thanks for sharing

[@learningtalent]

She’s so amazing