Social Transition Things I wish LITERALLY ANYONE told me Transgender

[@fairyprincesslucy]

What are the things you didn't expect in social transition? Hope you enjoyed hearing mine :) Also im aware of the audio issues in the video will fix in future videos ive gotten a very large amount of comments about it tbh

[@MegaLinket]

Thank you once again for this video. You genuinely go over topics that no one talks about often enough.

[@Milo-hp9fw]

I feel anxious when I hear my chosen name. I don't when my pronouns are used or when I read my chosen name. Only when I hear it. Maybe it's because my old chosen name was made fun of by my mom. (It was Elias) She's changed since, and doesn't make fun of me now! It was about 1.5 years ago. But now when I hear my chosen name I think something bad will happen to me. It's just weird because I get euphoric from hearing my name but have a lot of anxiety around it. (My name is Milo or Miles now)

[@spooked3782]

Being called pretty and other compliments still get me shaken to this very day, although ive been out for 4 years

[@BlightningBrightling]

Honestly, literally speaking, I didn't expect that I would become more sociable. I used to be very socially awkward. Nowadays...well I guess I'm still awkward, but I guess I kind of own it and don't care anymore. But I also feel more outgoing and like I can carry a conversation, or at least have the energy to try lol. But I've noticed it has to be a person or people I'm out to, or if I can otherwise be *me* around strangers (e.g., a work conference). Those who I wasn't out to, or I'm still not out to (mainly just my close family at this point...they watch *those* channels), I noticed I was going into old habits of clamming up, wanting to sit in the corner, not really engage with anyone in fear of acting weird. It's crazy to think that used to be my norm at this point.

[@HelloHamburger]

Off-topic: You look like Z from TransVoiceLessons at first glance. That's neat. Is this your first face reveal? I haven't socially transitioned yet, but, did dress feminine in private and voice train.

[@IzzetNilson]

I took a welding class once. My instructor was actually a really cool instructor. He was really old and had master level experience in the field, and said that he wishes more women got into it. He thought that welds from ladies are objectively better than men's welds. It might be a sexist thing, but I think about it a lot to this day, and I thought it was really cool because usually it's the other way around whenever you hear something like that - especially in the area I'm from.

[@BowChickaWow]

Go onto Forged in Fire and see how their fanbase reacts to your superior skills

[@Zane-It]

​@@BowChickaWowblacksmith Waifu Memes

[@kirknay]

I think it might be a combo of social expectations forcing women to perform to higher standards than men in men dominant fields, and a higher emphasis of learning the ground level, as opposed to "I want to learn enough to do X"

[@Rafaelforte-hs4bv]

Oh cool! In my province, there’s actually a financial support from the government for women who go study into wielding. While all the grandpas complain about how its unfair and that women physically can’t do it, it is overall a very good thing^^

[@Saironi]

psychological studies show that indeed women are better at fine tuned hand work. Women have better fine tuned motor skills, whereas men have better large motor skills. Think the difference in drawing vs throwing a ball. This means that women actually do weld better.

[@soymilkman]

As a trans guy I was so used to getting interrupted it was absolutely surreal once I started to pass and people would actually stop and LISTEN to what I had to say. There were times I’d stop talking because I expected someone to interrupt me, but no one did so they were just intently staring at me waiting for me to finish 😭 even women never treated me with this much respect before. (Ofc all of that goes down the toilet the second they learn I’m trans)

[@elainetarr151]

Well your incredibly lucky, when I was still in the closet as a man, no one would give the time of day, consistent interpretations and talking over me, the must've knew before I knew I guess

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodbi6207]

As an autistic trans guy who consistently passes as male, this isn't my experience at all, and people still like to interrupt and talk over me. Guess it goes to show the neurodiverse gendered experience is different from the neurotypical one.

[@Lin_Eileen]

@@elainetarr151 yup that will happen a lot to closeted trans fem ppl, especially if u are neurodivergent. imo it's a combination of not seeming masculine enough to be taken seriously + ableism since people still dont take ppl with disabilities seriously.

[@Lin_Eileen]

@@yourfriendlyneighborhoodbi6207 ya it's likely because of ur autism that ppl do that to you and it's messed up. a lot of neurotypical ppl don't like to listen to neurodivergent ppl speak i experienced this myself a lot before i came out too

[@CiCodiCadno]

​@@yourfriendlyneighborhoodbi6207fr, the "these are the benefits you'll 100% experience as a trans man, we promise!!" thing is entirely neurotypical and racially dependent. If I'm being visibly autistic, which is a lot, you bet I'm getting interrupted non-stop. And the aggression level from other men has increased dramatically for my black trans guy friends.

[@eeyuup]

Speaking of sexism, I remember reading about a transgirl with a traditional Christian friend, who supported her transition but upon transitioning started pushing on her the idea of finding a strong Christian man to marry and be like a traditional wife with her wifely duties. Which, the person posting it mentioned how befuddling it was. Like some sort of weird inclusive sexism.

[@mo-s-]

reverse terf, Trans inclusionary mysoginy

[@TomiThemself]

@@mo-s- Not really a TERF, as most TERFs fancy themselves as "feminists" - but yeah, it surely is trans-inclusionary-misogyny

[@belalaloca]

trans inclusive radical misogyny

[@brianhowe201]

Old habits die hard, I guess.

[@slavishentity6705]

Trans inclusive radical misogyny

[@awwtergirl7040]

The pockets on women's clothing either don't exist or they are pathetically shallow. Everything falls out. Don't trust the pockets.

[@editordimentio]

Bras will work just stuff your stuff in there. It’s what I do

[@dootsnaps]

i've been learning basic sewing skills so that i can fight back. now i can fit everything i need in my pockets hehe

[@Rafaelforte-hs4bv]

@@dootsnapsyoooo, same^^

[@DjRapitops]

It's insane! You get a hoodie with a massive pocket, and things will still fall out all the time!

[@sophiepooks2174]

Mostly a myth, where I live all my dresses and skirts have pockets, just have to choose wisely, much prefer a bag over trying to stuff everything into pockets anyway.

[@viziroth]

oh god the misogyny shift heh. I remember a few years into transition one of my friends from college tried to lecture me on something I tutored him on pretransition. and at work, there's someone who joined a project I was working on after me, and used to take my input directly, but since coming out now he second guessed everything I say and anytime I join a meeting earlier he always asks if my male coworker will be joining us...

[@myramedchan4775]

My best guess is either they see being trans as a mental illness and don't want to take advice from someone with a "mental illness" or it's an internalized misogyny thing

[@TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS]

"one of my friends from college tried to lecture me on something I tutored him on pretransition" Insert the "do not cite the deep magic to me, witch" meme here

[@Marrianne415]

My first experience of sexism was when a guy at the computer store started mansplaing to me about a laptop and not in a basic way, but in a way that he seemed to assume I had never seen or used a computer.... (I work in IT and have built my own computer, I knew exactly what I was looking for with the laptop)

[@notgray88]

Unfortunately I work retail and have to explain products to all customers like they're toddlers that don't know how to read, not just women. A lot of the time if I don't explain everything they end up coming back to return a broken product because they didn't even look at the instruction manual.

[@notgray88]

I once had a couple return a lamp because they couldn't figure out how to screw the two halves of a lamp together.

[@capturepointtireland6476]

@@notgray88 damn

[@Marrianne415]

@@notgray88 that would make sense, though I had bought laptops from there before transitioning and still do But that was the first time I experienced it to that degree...

[@swampprinceofsaturn]

trans guy here. it doesn't always work, but from previous experience the funniest thing to do in this situation is to start asking really stupid questions you absolutely would know the answer to in a slightly condescending voice. sometimes guys will instantly recognize that they're speaking down to you and they'll shut up real quick

[@kanamis]

Trans girl with no money to my name here. If its practical for you, I would recommend thrifting when you first building your closet! They usually have plenty of options for basic clothes (like jeans, plain blouses, skirts, short shorts). Even if you find out that you dont like how those clothes fit on you, it wouldnt have been expensive. also i too want to be a cute lolita girl :(

[@isabelleconcorde]

thrifting is literally one of the best things you can do for your wardrobe it's kind of crazy how much good shit you can find

[@bingusbungiswystryungus125]

Also cropping tees and using the bit you cut off as another shirt if you have band shirts you love but want them to be cuter/more femme

[@taranjk1]

I literally just got back from a pride event at my uni and they were doing a clothes swap for trans people aka they were FREE!! lets just say me and my friends walked away with some new dresses, skirts, cardigans, bags and for my ftm friends they got free high quality binders and some nice shirts, etc... :DDDD Today was great!

[@Gekko-cs2ti]

If you become an aerospace engineer, you can get more money

[@chubskii]

@@Gekko-cs2tiissue, you’ve gotta be smart for that

[@Schmoogie]

The problem with not being extremely stereotypically feminine in dress is that I'm pretty much guaranteed to be misgendered every time I interact with anyone unless I'm wearing a dress or skirt or similar

[@readingchameleon]

that's really interesting. For me when I first started transitioning, it didn't matter whether I was wearing a skirt/dress or something else, I would often get misgendered.

[@HormoneMuncher94]

@@readingchameleon what I noticed, when I'm clocked (all the time) they always insist on adding "sir" to their phrases which they didn't do when i wasn't out yet :D kind of ridiculous and also somewhat annoying

[@soymilkman]

@@HormoneMuncher94same here but other way around (ftm)

[@ragingmonkeycritic]

Definitely can't relate to that, absolutely not

[@paperverp]

I imagine you sink into your bed like an ocean due to all the plushies you have

[@fairyprincesslucy]

correct

[@Project_KN1GHT]

That is the goal…

[@TerribleResults]

I've basically switched up my entire wardrobe. From depressed gamer boy to dresses and leggings all the time.

[@sophiepooks2174]

As cool as it may seem being trans is not a fashion trend, or a long term cure for depression it is a lifetime commitment. Plenty of people who de-transition when they get older and the estrogen no longer makes them feel good anymore, lose sex drive as well, also being on HRT takes years off people's natural life span and u can never pass on your DNA, like getting a bad tattoo make sure you will not regret it when you get older.

[@TerribleResults]

@@sophiepooks2174 what the fuck are you talking about

[@wesleywyndam-pryce5305]

​@@sophiepooks2174 these are very clearly transphobic talking points.

[@alejamonyqueso1379]

​@@sophiepooks2174I know there is a chance that you mean well, but it's kind of weird to assume that she doesn't know the side-effects of HRT? Also, I have literally never heard of the things you mentioned, you might want to check your sources

[@alejamonyqueso1379]

​@@sophiepooks2174Also, yes, you can't "cure" depression, but it's highly common for the source of a trans girl's depression to stem from her dysphoria or treatment from people who literally just hate trans people (often people close to them). Therefore, transitioning does definitely help with their depression, and there are plenty of studies that show this

[@wanderswithmoonlight681]

I definitely experience the sexism one. Guys at work just having the "man, women be crazy, amirite" kind of talk and it does feel like they legit forget that, you know, I am a woman so I've started chiming in like, "Are we?" or "I don't think we're THAT bad" and things like that. I don't think it does much but it's fun watch them be confused. I've also started having experiences of guys trying to pick me up when I'm out in public/verbally sexually harassing me which might be the WORST gender validation I've ever received. It's kind of annoying to have to remind them I am, in fact, a woman sometimes but I figure if I'm gonna I might as well have fun with it.

[@Top-Code]

I SWEAR GUYS IM STILL CIS *takes notes*

[@gregeo9481]

Grow up

[@NeilBraun]

They are, everyone is, but that comment you are being nasty at is an example of someone doing a good job of it.

[@dulunis]

this is literally me. started voice training yesterday; I figured if I think I might be trans, I'll need it, and if not, it still seems like a useful skill lol

[@egg_bun_]

​@@dulunisthat's amazing

[@dulunis]

@@egg_bun_ thanks!

[@tmmaster6904]

the button thing is actually wild, ive been looking for excuses to bring it up with people for ages because i think everyone should know this

[@declan2775]

same that blew my mind

[@yodal_]

I remember learning about this ages ago and if I remember correctly it has something to do with military dress. I think men's clothes had the buttons on the left so they wouldn't catch on a sword you drew from your left hip with your right hand.

[@eruonna]

I picked up the fact as a kid from somewhere. The explanation I heard at the time had to do with dressing yourself versus being dressed by a servant. Not really sure how true that is.

[@inodedentry8887]

I unfortunately was all too familiar with it ... I have a pretty traumatic memory of my dad going on a homophobic tirade and berating me for wearing a shirt with the buttons on the "female" side, from when I was a teenager.

[@notgray88]

I just got prescribed HRT like 4 hours ago pretty pumped. Good motivation to start taking better care of my health too.

[@glarak9819]

That's awesome, I am happy for you 😊

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

Congratulations, I hope it's everything you hope it will be ^__^

[@reijin999]

yeah, that aspect was one of the most affirming for me. i didn't care pre-transistion, ate poorly and didn't exercise. now i have a skincare routine, diet, regular exercise, excited to see new health products on tik tok and stuff lol.

[@Amyaddisoniscool]

It's so cool that now as a woman a man has said my idea but louder all the time 😁

[@livliveart]

Trans girl in Texas here (7mo HRT as of today). Thank you for this 🥺❤

[@SnootDog]

How did you get HRT in Texas? I thought it was like, turbo-illegal here or something.

[@qwertykeyboard5901]

@@SnootDogMaybe Texas being big on guns counteracted it lol.

[@notgray88]

@@SnootDog That's a common misconception. If you are a legal adult you can usually get a prescription for HRT in less than 2 hours. In fact that's where I was earlier today 🤣 Got my first 3 months of estrogen

[@notgray88]

@@SnootDog But yeah if you're 14-17 there's no other way to get HRT than going over to another state or ordering it through the gray market.

[@SnootDog]

@@notgray88 Ahhhhh there’s my problem

[@Porcupie506]

I was not prepared for the what I'd call 'womanly commiseration' cis women even at work are much more open about their body functions and I don't even particularly pass yet. Oh and the male gaze? I call it gender CONfirming and not gender affirming, but I have for sure seen some bored guys staring they are not slick

[@Storse]

in regards to the first point there's always a chance you pass a lot more than you think, whenever i get gendered correctly i get surprised because i dont think i pass but my sibling always says i do and people do end up gendering me properly even when i wear boymode clothing. perhaps it's the boobs i now have...

[@xirensixseo]

the buttons switching sides weirded me out when i bought feminine clothing, even the fly on pants changes sides, no one ever talked about it before

[@heheheiamasupahstarchimera631]

THEY DO? I mostly wear men's jeans indoors and mostly wear women's jeans when going out so lemme go check

[@heheheiamasupahstarchimera631]

My pants seams are the same. I'm in Canada, if that's relevant

[@xirensixseo]

@@heheheiamasupahstarchimera631 huh! maybe its a jeans thing? im not sure cuz i dont wear jeans, but, i do know that traditionally theyre flipped

[@LunaFaye17]

Some of these things are so real. The call out on millennial fashion is so funny. When I was 15, half of my school was scene or emo. Dark dyed hair, soooo much makeup, teased hair, the works. Just a few years later and all of those people shifted to early 2010s "hipster" fashion when they went to college. We were all chameleons and just making it up as we went. The sexism is something everyone should be aware of too. I see it all the time in online spaces where guys rush to tell you how much they know about whatever hobby even though they picked it up last month and you've been around it for 10+ years. Men constantly interrupt me when I'm speaking in real life and I've been told to "be quiet, hon" when a group of male coworkers were trying to solve a problem I knew the solution for. It's a huge shift and it feels like it's 0-100 sometimes.

[@Mica45]

my fashion beginning of Transition: PINK, SKIRTS, CUTE THINGS! 4 years later: all black, Techwear, Tomboy WHAT HAPPENED???

[@darwinwatterson4568]

i'm going through this. however , it is definitely context-based. i love androgynous clothes in public but it possible that i was doing it out of necessity, and so the sweet lolita stuff appears indoors. :>

[@sophiepooks2174]

@@darwinwatterson4568The baby trans stage becomes blending in for ones own safety, is sad because I so love dresses and all hyper fem things too, though I think looking androgynous can sometimes also be trouble too, as some will get very rude if it is not immediately obvious to them what gender you are.

[@CassyCat4]

I am in a funny place in my transition, I went out in a camisole with long cardigan pulled back and off one shoulder for the first time today. Guys noticed me alot... like alot alot, and you can see my ladies are real which is super feminising and confidence boosting. I know one day soon its going to feel icky and I wont like the attention but at the moment the gender affirmation beats out the ick.

[@legefy]

Your videos cracked my egg. I've already ordered my HRT, or at least I hope its the right stuff, UK so its hard to get a hold of, but I'm anxiously excited to get started even if I'm a little late

[@Hanaishere11]

Good luck!

[@AGuy-vq9qp]

Oestradiol and cyproterone/bicalutamide?

[@legefy]

@@AGuy-vq9qp oestradiol and aldactone

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

Just be careful on the gray market ^__^

[@legefy]

@@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos I've got a reputable site and aren't going to let myself go too crazy. I've waited so long for this that I can handle taking it slow

[@enterfusion]

Today I have my first day in my professional school as girl with makeup, clothes, etc ^^' In 1 hour I start, I hope everything will went good. Im currently making an re-education to another job with 32

[@extazy9944]

how was it

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

I hope it went well!

[@aurora8orialis]

I loved the story about the metal heads. I am now going to be plagued be visions of you absolutely shredding and the metal heads in awe. Happy transing! 🩵🩷🤍

[@lillyViolet23]

I learned about sexism pretty fast in a mostly male friend group with a handful of females. noticed the guys almost entirely ignored advice or information i give, the girls all listen. also newer people in the group trying to set me up on dates with their friends can get annoying.

[@Caitlin_TheGreat]

I've always been a bit of a quiet person and tend towards politeness in social interactions (i.e., waiting for someone to stop speaking before I start talking... like a fool, lol) so even when I was presenting as a boy people would talk over me or interrupt me and I'd have to _wait_ for an opening to be able to take part in a conversation. And sometimes someone else will get credit/praise for my idea. So I'm not sure if I'll notice a change in that regard, but all the same I've been bracing for it to get worse as I begin to be seen as more feminine. I have no worries about my hobbies. Many are sort of ungendered. I like to write stories, and draw/paint. Video games too, which are only gendered for a very loud but niche group of terrible people. And most of all, tabletop roleplaying games -- which I've become obsessed with trying out all kinds of different ones.

[@yodal_]

Thank you for talking about the social side of transitioning. I feel like all I see about transitioning is the visible and audible changes, but nothing beyond that.

[@SlugcatDahlia]

Sexism for FtM is def a thing tho, it just looks way different. Imagine 2 cis women talking about make-up trends. Our burly FtM masculine specimen comes up to them and joins the conversation about make up trends and then you mention how this one brand you discovered after your transition is really good for such and such, and they both just kind of look at you and go "uh.. huh...." Like you have no idea what you're talking about. :( Like you had never once in your past been a person of estrogen just like they are. Yea that sucks. That's sexism. Seems like that kinda thing would happen all the time with transmasc trying to talk about femme things with ciswomen.

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

Also, things like assuming predatory intent are real

[@mattdombrowski8435]

The way I see it is that every form of sexism has a mirror image that also sucks. Take for example women being subjected to assumed incompetence. That definitely sucks. Assumed competence also sucks because that means you can't ask for help without the risk of people questioning your gender or value as a person. Woman are seen as overly emotional, well, men are seen as under emotional. Earnest displays of emotion in men are a sign of weakness to some people. Sexism is bad, even for men.

[@zippyfish]

if you want people to think of you as a "person of estrogen" then you probably arent really transgender

[@kirbypopstarian1198]

Yeah, super happy for the stuff i get from passing... but now people are constantly afraid of me and i have to be more mindfull of how i act :( Hopefully when i get new clothes i can dress in a more friendly way? "ah yes, a gay/queer man. this one is safe" yk? Hits a bit more since i work in customer service i guess ajkhadjfhak

[@iana6713]

Aww... The plushies have their very own bed - that's very thoughtful 😄. (That's a lot of plushies, and it's cool!)

[@Abigail-Rebecca]

Talking of buttons on opposites sides for women's and men's clothing, where you talked about the Danger Force episode at about 14:11. I remember it being acknowledged in a UK television comedy programme "To the Manor Born", first broadcast between 1979 and 1981. From memory , the character, Audrey Fforbes-Hamilton, who was talking to her friend, Marjory Frobisher, made a wise-crack and laughed about a man, either wearing or not knowing about some women's tops buttoning up on the opposite side to men's (I can't quite remember which it was), but her laughing in a condescending way has remained with me.

[@dnkerbell]

Happy to see more irl content, but also this type of video has come at a really great time for me as I've planned out my attire for a friend's birthday this week and I'm hoping it'll muster some confidence in myself to interact and make a good first impression to anyone else that day. I only do this cause he lives in a big town an hour or two away from where I live so it makes it a lot easier than it would in my much smaller town. Anyhoo, toodles!~ ✌

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

Good luck at the party 🫶🏻

[@dnkerbell]

@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos Thank yoooooooou! :DDD It was quite a series of events, but I was so happy to have been so accepted by so many new people I got to meet tonight! It was fairly busy when I was out picking up some clothes, but that fear i had quickly melted when I was surrounded by people who would defend me from others. Hope you're making any steps yourself, no matter how big or small they are! 🫂

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

@dnksbowe Yessss! Killin' it! Glad you had fun with people you felt safe around~~ My euphoria for the week came from a guy I caused to double-check the sign outside the bathroom when I was out in boymode. So, apparently, passing is closer than I thought!

[@dnkerbell]

@@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos I can feel that some days with the right lightening in the bathroom mirror, but the only thing holding it back is my hair length at the current moment :/ ...I had once had it down to my shoulders before but had it all cut cause I didn't go to get it done at a woman's salon and had some pressures from family to have it cut. Now I'm not trying to please anyone if it's gonna make me feel unhappy, it's just a shame it took me this long to learn that. I could pass given my height of under 5'8 and slim cut but I still get fixated on small things that could be more on the fem side of things, anyhoo~~ I hope you recive more affirmation from words and actions as time goes on and keep those who will see you as you know yourself to be! 🫂

[@bread8439]

Unrelated but your voice is so gentle and calming I love it sm 😭

[@ashleighevie]

About 3 months into HRT all of a sudden I'm getting talked over the top of and getting mansplained to it's insane

[@GloriaNeuMusa10x]

I'm glad lolita is in my budget because they are the best clothes ever and make me feel so euphoric

[@katywalker8322]

For a motorcycles, there are onlines womens motorcycle groups (I don't mean patch clubs!). There have also been a couple of attempts at the largest womens motorcycle meets (currently the record is held by the UK from 2022). The sexism thing seems to be quite individual. Possibly depends a lot on how you are perceived at first glance (or whether you are perceived at all). A small and unassuming person who transitions from male to female might notice very little change (because of how they are already perceived and treated), while a 6 foot + confident (not quite the right word, but not sure of a better one at the moment) will notice it far more.

[@systerkeno]

Great video. I really enjoyed it. I transitioned socially 3 years ago and still waiting for trans healthcare, as there's long waiting times. I've got a couple days left of my 30s. I noticed a radical change pretty much everywhere. When just walking, i noticed that men are almost always looking or even slowing down on smaller streets juat to look at me, pretending they're not. The samw thing in store's, guys can often try to check me out, and they think i dont notice that they stare. In some smaller stores, they started opening the door for me or helped me carry the bag out of the shop. I lost all my friends when I came out, so I've only hang out with some new people a couple of times this far, but the conversations when we are only women are very different. Much more freely talking about our own bodies and bodily functions etc. There's also sometimes a genuine feeling of women helping each other. I live in a very small town that is more than 50% sweden democrats, so ofcourse I face transphobia every day, as many of us do. The abaolute hardest thing for me is the voice. I often get misgendered after I speak, even though I usually have quite femme makeup and often skirts, etc. But yeah, a major shift.

[@Aquatendo]

Just wanted to say I prefer these face to face videos, but I also have this intense desire to declutter your room lol. The most unexpected thing about social transition for me has been the increase in hugs from guys. Growing up among my family and friends, guys never hugged each other and only shook hands (even as a kid). Now these people I only shook hands with for years and years and years are suddenly going in for hugs. The handshakes always seemed so weird in the first place, but now it’s even more awkward.

[@fairyprincesslucy]

I am...pretty aware of my room being messy haha, I just moved back here but it should be cleaner by now lol

[@laurapills]

oh so ill be ignored in group convos? nothings changing LMFAOOO

[@primaveral-s8s]

omg i felt like so called out in the beginning bcuz i've been wearing "whatever's just practical". I mean, i guess i should wear more feminine clothes if i want to pass more, but idk i kinda like wearing basic stuff, though I kinda know that I should wear more feminine clothes

[@moonyeast]

totally! sometimes starting to dress fashionably is great self care

[@thefakeeepyrose]

As someone who's known she's trans for about a year but hasn't been in a safe position to transition outside of my friend group, I really felt what you said about a minute in about just wearing what's practical. I've never heard anyone put it that way but that really just is what I've always done.

[@notahumanbeing6892]

so unrelated but “position to transition” is bars

[@iana6713]

Got interrupted watching this, but am back now. You've made a really interesting video here. I am not trans, I'll declare that right away, but I support trans rights 100% (I'm increasingly disturbed with the way things are going here in the UK where it looks like they're trying to roll back those rights...) I'm not a stereotypical guy - I have quite a few feminine traits and am not into a lot of traditional "guy" things, but really like cute things and appreciate a plushie! (May own a certain one from IKEA!) It was interesting hearing you speak about fashion and how what you wear can alter people's perceptions of you.

[@typemismatchcannotconvert]

Hearing you say that you socially transitioned 10 years before you got any medical stuff makes me really wish that I had done that. I only just told my mother about this on the 14th after spending the past year trying to get myself to do so, which I guess is progress, but I don't really know what her opinion on it is for certain yet. Whenever I was very young (like four or five) I was told why I wasn't a girl and I immediately concluded how exactly I was going to "fix that", I didn't learn that that was something that actually existed until later. Eventually I decided to shut up because people were being mean to me and telling me stuff like how it is really weird that I was trying to get everybody to pretend that I was a girl. I didn't actually stop talking about the idea of being female or changing genders, I just stopped saying I wanted this to happen to me, and I refused to acknowledge that I wanted it to happen to me, I would either just not admit that I wanted this to happen to me but still talk about it happening to me, or I would say how much I didn't want it to happen to me. Something that I also happening was that my siblings started referring to me by one of the female versions of my name, whenever they first did this I told them something like "No I don't like that name, if I were a girl I would want to be called (I don't remember)", however eventually I changed and I would become really really angry and defensive whenever they said that I was a girl. Anyways so now back on to what I was talking about first I got on a tangent. Back in 2019 when I was like 13 I finally decided that I wanted to become one of these "transgender people" (I'd definitely thought about it before but I don't think I'd ever put any serious thought into ever actually doing it before that). The first thing that I thought about was getting some kind of surgery or drugs or something, and I kept focusing on that being the first thing that I'd do for a long time, I thought I'd wait until I got to do that to transition. I also thought that eventually it'd go away and so I decided to wait until I was an adult to do anything, which I guess I ended up doing. I really wish that I had just tried to present myself as female at the time instead of waiting for being an adult or getting some kind of medical thing first or just thinking that I'd do it eventually, without actually thinking about how I'd go about eventually doing it.

[@zynthstar2]

Absolutely LOVE these videos! It’s great to hang out with you for a few minutes while learning about all this stuff, cause you’re able to make a lot of the daunting aspects of transitioning a lot less intimidating :3 Ty for everything you do!

[@Xidnaf]

i had no idea about the button thing, that's fascinating

[@lapiscarrot3557]

OMG Xidnaf!!!! I love your videos!!!

[@qriofficial1769]

As a metalhead I'm really happy to be part of such a (for the most part) inclusive musical community, we have seen so many inspired women and trans fems rising in prominence in the recent years!

[@wisdomball4584]

God I'm 6'1 and trying to find women's clothing that fits at all is pain. American tall is just not my style. My girlfriend is 6'7 and her butt hangs out of any standard length skirt. The buttons thing is spot on. Absolutely fucks me up every time.

[@catdog9612]

Thanks for this. Just started on my journey. It's crazy the amount of stuff that actually goes into it all, and it's hard, but I feel free finally

[@arsmagnae]

I actually love these videos, they're really relatable and useful, the last one got me to go to the store and buy pickles since I never really liked pickles before and now that I've tried them again I need to eat more pickles just all the time (they're really good) so thank you for that

[@notdancooper923]

Ya'll I don't think I'm cis

[@tsukikochan803]

Hi from Russia.I want to start my transition at 18 years old and i want to ask some advice about transition. Also be transgender people in my country is so hard 😭😭.

[@fairyprincesslucy]

As far as specific advice, I'd say other trans women who live in Russia may have better advice, so my advice I suppose is to find community in whatever way you can and feel safe doing. I believe in you

[@tsukikochan803]

@@fairyprincesslucy💖💖💖

[@mo-s-]

u got this

[@masochistninfia]

I'm closeted trans from Russia too. An obvious advice would be finding ways of getting out of here asapa as getting hrt or simply living as trans is practically impossible with the current environment & laws.

[@tsukikochan803]

@@masochistninfiait’s true 😢

[@LuettaLuna]

I adore gothic lolita but I know it won't necessarily pan out. I'll stick with pastel goth stuff hehe

[@rudymelo880]

Your voice is so calming :)

[@HansLemurson]

I learned the men vs. women's shirt button side from an episode of Monk.

[@micahroy1129]

This is really interesting more cis people like myself should take the time to learn so that we can better understand

[@ElHabsburgHechizado]

I started transitioning a few months ago and the social discrimination part hasnt changed much. Im an immigrant and have an accent. I already got ignored and disregarded constantly in a professional level. Now presenting as a woman, i still get the same exact reactions as if i wasnt trying super hard to make an american accent Its kinda bittersweet cause on one hand im used to it already but also transitioning made me realize how ive been treated as a lesser person for years. It helped build a very thick skin for sure. At least with voice training, im forced to do an american voice so im expecting the same discrimination but for a different reason now lol

[@fairyprincesslucy]

I'm sorry to hear you experienced so much discrimination. The world can sadly be cruel to many. I believe in you though!

[@PansyPops]

Regarding hobbies: I absolutely second what’s covered in the video. Fun isn’t gendered - if you enjoy it you do you. One of my favourite things to do is whittling and log splitting. While they’re _very_ masculine things to do, it’s an activity for everyone who wants to. Whittling knives are fairly accessible, axes are less easy to find and costly, but if you look in the right shops you’ll find them. Literally anyone (18+) can start it! If you find an activity you like, even if you’re the only person of that gender who does it, you do what you enjoy!

[@slumox213]

this is such a sweet video and it makes me so hopeful!!!

[@diminarchy]

Transmasc here: my hair looks most masculine and 'normative' when i dont touch it at all. I dont brush it I go to bed with wet hair, I use two-in-one shampoo, really everything ur not supposed to do, but since my hair is short its kinda always healthy regardless 🎉 the amount of time saved in getting ready for me in a masc way immense but its also kinda hard for me to not mess with my hair cause i still have the habbit (i stim with my hair a lot and thats fine, but if i comb or style my hair in any way is immediately looks more 'fem')

[@Adra_Haru]

Dude,you're talking about me

[@polk-e-dot8177]

I really appreciate this video, especially the bit about "passing". a lot of people have a lot of strong feelings about passing. A lot of people, people I respect even, hate the idea of passing and think its a bullshit metric to hold yourself to which is valid. But I don't see a lot of people saying Hey if that's what you want then that's *also* valid. Like the thing that is helping my dysphoria the most is passing, and the more I pass the safer I am. it's a bit of a bell curve as if you don't pass super well at first, or are andro, it can be equally as dangerous. but if im out in a dress and I pass im gonna be a lot safer than if I don't. If you don't care about passing that's fine. it's not my place to judge, but I think if you are judging trans people who want to pass you're in the wrong. Edit: also, why am I voice training, taking hrt, and saving up for surgeries if the point *isn't* to pass.

[@gabrielraphael8084]

You are very funny. Enjoy the laughter. I like the peaceful vibe of this video. Very soothing 💙

[@cody.dw8]

your voice is so pretty and soothing it tickles my brain

[@HormoneMuncher94]

for the "having kids" question my answer hasn't changed a bit i think... when people found out im trans they told me to freeze my stuff and I was like a month into HRT already :D I knew about it, of course, but i just couldn't care less since I know i wouldn't be a great parent

[@coffee-ouji]

omg the buttons thing is so so real, i recently bought formal shirts to wear to college and i was awkward the whole time trying them on and didn't realize why i was struggling to put on a shirt lmao this also happens with pants- another oddly gendered piece of clothing- has the zipper facing a side if its meant for women and the other for men

[@its_senpai]

uwu nice active uploads ^~^ Also thanks for the voice stuff tutorials, even if i can't get it fine enough yet meh

[@AnthroFiend]

Thank you so much for this video! 💕 On a side note, as a fellow transfem metal guitarist, I’d love to hear you play at some point, or at least talk about what music you’re into! I know that’s not the focus of your channel, I’m just curious now. 😅

[@fairyprincesslucy]

I've considered playing guitar on stream haha, I really like polyphia, plini and intervals in particular but early teens I was super into dragonforce and dream theatre

[@AnthroFiend]

@@fairyprincesslucy I love those bands, Polyphia and Dream Theater especially!

[@Trithis2077]

Your videos never fail to make me happy and it's nice to see you on screen. If I may though, I would recommend getting a pop filter for these videos. 😅 It's not very noticeable in your other videos, but in the videos with you in front of the camera I feel like I hear you let out a breath into the mic pretty often.

[@fairyprincesslucy]

My pop filter I bought didn't work :( so I'll either get a new one or record the audio in the usual program and just overlay it on the video

[@philippajoy4300]

TOO SHORT!!! I was just settling in and you said, so to finish...my heart sank! Xxx

[@T4N7]

OMG, u started presenting at 12, I'm so bloody jealous. Fear kept me in the closet from 10-30. Literally my biggest regret in life was not coming out as a kid. Congrats on having the bravery to be ur true self so young. I tried once in highschool n it didnt go well, thankfully it wasn't in a setting where anyone knew me so I didnt have to face backlash on top of wut I had alrdy gone thru. Ya, I used to often get dismissed or excluded from feminist discussion before I came out even tho feminism is not sposed to just be about women's rights but everyone's rights. They acted like I couldn't possibly understand the topics without have lived those experiences even tho I had experienced them. I was often enough "mistaken" for a girl long before I came out. At least my friends n family never excluded me n funny enough I'd get invited to girls nights all the time by my lil sister n her friends. Lil did they know 😹. But I remember 1 discussion that some AFABs were having in the office while I was working at comiccon n even tho none of them worked in that department they felt the need to bring that talk into my space n then trashed talked me when I tried to join the discussion about creepy dudes at the con. "How can u possibly understand how it feels when u r on the side of the problem?" Said a feminist comedian who was at the con for a panel. Meanwhile I had just that past winter needed to be saved by my brother from some creepy dude who wanted to help my drunk ass "get home" n despite my brother's protests to this dude it took him saying "u know that's a guy, right?" For the creep to instantly walk away while my brother heckled him the whole way down the street. Only time those words have actually made me feel good. Meanwhile post translation I had those same words light a fire in me while at a club across the country while visiting family. Literally the day after pride month n I'm talking to a guy at the club n from a group of dudes beside us 1 of them says to him, "u know that's a guy, right?" N before the dude could defend me, I spun around n bitched this prick out. "Actually, I'm a woman with a birth defect..." how I prefer to describe being AMAB, "... n yes, he is aware. Now u, sir have 2 options, either u can shut ur transphobic mouth, mind ur own business, n continue having a good night with ur friends. Or u can keep being an ass n I can grab my cousin from behind the bar n get him to call the bouncers to kick all of u out n ruin the night for all ur friends." Pointing at my cousin who is like 6 foot 3 n works out, n the bouncers outside r even bigger. The guy shut up real quick. 1 of the few moments where I've really stood up for myself like that, probably the liquid courage. But I'm really proud of myself for how I handled that. Most of the people I meet when at the bars n club where my cousins work when I go visit them r really nice. Met lots of awesome women n an NB at that same club n even hooked up with one. Met a guy there too when I was partying to blow off steam after my father's funeral n had my mom n aunt being all sexist n warning me not to go home with him even tho they never pulled that crap when they thought I was a guy. Met a couple at a gay bar where my cousin's gf at the time works n since I was alone they invited me to chill with them. Met another girl at the pool hall n had an amzing night with her n met up with her more before I left n we even tried the lkng distance thing but it didn't work out. I guess it is easy to make friends at these places when u know all the staff. 😹😹 anyway, thx to anyone who read this for letting me share

[@littlebigphil]

Belts are gendered like buttons too, but you'll usually never notice cause you can wear them either way.

[@callmebeerides]

Omg I got my motorcycle licence last year as well!

[@PrincessEmilia61]

Ty for this wanted to society transition for a while

[@CiCodiCadno]

You're so real for this. The outright sexism I hear from other men towards women, now I have a beard, is _reprehensible_ . I've been calling it out but wow. I get some funny looks for calling it out

[@MelodyTCG]

Most of my fashion RN is flowery somewhat cottagecore stuff I can find at thrift stores (it's harder to find stuff for plus sized folks but I know a thrift store in my state that specializes in plus sized clothes.)

[@LucyBunnyRawrvek]

So Listening to this about the sexism part makes it click as to how I'm being treated more recently at work.... and wow such an icky way to feel euphoria

[@wesleywyndam-pryce5305]

i've known for a couples years now at least but only recently stopped feeling like a fraud when i said it outloud. great video

[@Helvetica_5]

Lovely video, thank you ♥️ I did expect a change in how people acted towards me. It's reassuring to know I'm not being paranoid 😆

[@carnassial8696]

Love the vid! One recommendation tho: try holding the mic at a 45 degree angle towards the corner of your mouth to get less breathing and plosives in the recording.

[@shinobitactics]

i love your way of presenting, comes across as very genuine and you seem a lovely, happy person :) wishing you all the best :)

[@seccozcubez]

im 7 years into my transition and this is very accurate! hoping any baby transes best of luck with your future. we do live

[@entervic]

Hi uhhhhhh. You helped crack my egg last week when I found your content among a few other channels! I cried to your affirmation videos and its just..Thank you for making these kinds of videos :))) will be revisiting a lot throughout my transition.

[@Snow146]

Im really loving these videos thank you!!

[@perfishfan]

I love your videos. Just wanted to let you know that this video has a loud high pitched sound in the background that is probably imperceptible to most but makes the video unwatchable if you can hear it. Please, use a low pass filter on any audio recording regardless of if you hear anything abnormal.

[@fairyprincesslucy]

Luckily other comments have mentioned this. I could hear it but I mistook it for my tinnitus, lesson learnt

[@Panguinolucy]

10:05 yeah, I’m a gal who is the biggest board game fan I’ve ever met and loves heroes a ton. Nobody dares challenge me on my stereotypically masculine hobbies, they’d get roped into a board game, especially if I have rope

[@Unchained_Alice]

I started out wanting super fem things but ended up wearing cute jeans and a cute top. My goto look now. I have a lot of pastel colour jeans to match with the right top. Rarely wear a skirt or dress lately. Still a fem look though

[@Lionfrog13]

My biggest one was genuinely how much drunk girls touch each other. I just, lots of platonic touching. It’s cool, a little confusing because of autism, but cool.

[@NeilBraun]

I love that you brought up buttons. And maybe have something to add. The reason for this is because at one time women didn't always dress themselves, someone else (servants or.... well, perhaps slaves) in some cases, did it for them. I don't know this for an absolute fact, but that's what I was told when, for some odd reason, I found myself confused. I was six, possibly five. 🏳️‍⚧️!

[@dot5527]

petition to see lucy play the guitar

[@prohikikomo]

i envy your room, voice and appearance so much!!!

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

Your outfit is just as gorgeous as it was the last time it was featured in a vid! ^__^

[@sutpecna]

Making my own DIY masculinity is the best thing about being trans. No one told me anything, I'm already going against the grain anyway, so I may as well be authentic while I'm at it. I'm my own build-a-boy, and it's awesome.

[@vi_pravi]

OMG girl your voice is so beautiful!

[@CacophonyOfMeaninglessNoise]

I love your videos, and congrats on the motorcycle license!

[@Dawn_Skyyx]

I love her voice fzxckn adorablee

[@coquettecolette]

Thank you for these tips! You have a beautiful voice and style. :)

[@chaoslabj]

Great to hear that you'll do more of these vids with camera on! Lots of love

[@_lyraspan]

THANK YOU SO MUCH 💜💜 your content is so helpful and your voice is so relaxing not to mention how pretty you are!!!! please may you put a low-pass filter on your microphone? the high-pitched whining makes it harder for me to listen♡

[@fairyprincesslucy]

will do for future stuff! I thought the high pitched ringing was just my tinnitus but only just found out it was actually in the video!

[@be1tube]

As an NB, my first purchase when I'm out enough to change my fashion will be a 3D printer because no one makes the clothes I want to wear.

[@stanleydolan5609]

Keep the good work , your input matters.

[@SuperPukebucket]

My starter trans aesthetic is that one lesbian from gravit falls. Crop top sweater under flannel with jeans. Got hit with some gender affirming sexism for the first time a few months ago, had the fishnets and shorts for a concert and got whistled at at the gas station.