A Psychologist's Thoughts on Love and Marriage-Sadia Khan

[@sadiapsychology]

Thank you so much for having me Mark! Really enjoyed this conversation

[@GPPTX]

Wow...gorgeous, classy & extremely intelligent. Thank you for sharing you're time.

[@Helenananana217]

Sadia i LOVE You pls reinstate your ig

[@Carly4now]

All TRUTH! Thank you so MUCH! 17:57

[@twinpyramid5985]

Thank you Sadia!!!!

[@flashback1123]

Agreed! More smart guests would be a good rebalance

[@wyattmacwatt6469]

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not... the worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone". Robin Williams

[@maygrantz4426]

exactly..

[@frankvanderstaay7564]

RIP Robin

[@gregwil694]

I prefer taking responsibility and ending this with, "to end up with people you feel alone with."

[@TheMicturation]

@@gregwil694 exactly,a devestating and miserable situation.one must rectify this issue by cutting the chord asap,knock that notion on the head before too much damage either side is done no matter who it is,your wife,mother,father,brother .sister,friend of the last 10 years etc etc,doesnt matter,once theres no resonating connection anymore its time to seperate regardless.nothing worse than ppl around you who havent grown with you or worse even havent recognised youve grown/growing...leave them behind

[@gregwil694]

@@TheMicturation Yes. The only person holding one back from doing something about it is oneself. Sometimes it doesn't take drastic measures as completely cutting off. Simply to others, being busy and less available will do the trick. Being busy can mean that, as in with a hobby or others and it can mean busy alone doing next to nothing.

[@FreeAgent797]

"As the attraction decreases, the transaction increases"....I hope nobody missed that line cuz that shit is critical.

[@johnviera3884]

for men. for women it’s irrelevant

[@amazinggrace313]

Any woman who’s honest will tell you she didn’t tell not one lie In that statement.

[@Pangaea83]

So cynical and vapid

[@Pangaea83]

Attraction in what sense? She so surface-y

[@FreeAgent797]

@@Pangaea83 she means the physical attraction. The butterflies in your stomach. Basically the honeymoon phase. After it fades and reality sets in the mindset of most people change a little bit and they start focusing on things other than "love".

[@willhustle25]

"People don't want to accept people on their level." Nothing but absolute truth.

[@Ooo7ljs]

Why would I? If I’m low-key broke but have face card and a hourglass body… why dF would I? When I could play the game you males created! Aka use you ALL for money! While if you’ve spent enough could eat me OUT later on;) it’s a WIN WIN WIN 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@gaarcialove]

"If it has a negative effect on children, its not good for society" great saying😊.

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@whitelabrat]

So this is complicated though. Is it harming children or is it just harming how society thinks children should be? Those are not the same. People have an idea of what kids should be exposed to that ranges from what tech is good to what education they should get. But often people have no actual idea what is good they just know what they understand or what they think is good for them. The most obvious example is education where how we educate has improved but because people do not understand the methods they want a return to education systems that didn't produced results for kids in a modern society. So is it actually bad or are we as a society just attached to an outcome or method that is maybe not optimal but is comfortable because we understand it? It is possible that traditional marriage is breaking down because it was never as great a system as we thought. It is possible that the changes we see in some kids behavior is because they are growing up into a world that is nothing like what we grew up in and those changes can be huge in just one generation. Sometimes within the same generation so much changes that how people interact with the world changes also.

[@NeonNerve]

​@whitelabrat subjecting children, to any sexualization is unacceptable and damaging. Period.

[@runningfox9750]

Someone's said her own father has two wives.....hmmm is that "good for society" I wonder?

[@runningfox9750]

​@@tiffanyapril5458she's an actress. Apparently one who's manipulating Mark if he actually believes she's got psychology credentials! Ha!

[@coolocelot]

I don't envy anyone dating but just fyi there are still plenty of regular people getting married because they love each other and want to build a life together. Its not all gold diggers and superficial porn addicts.

[@Etrielle]

I was thinking the same. The generalisations make me somewhat angry

[@djcrackademiks1191]

@@Etriellewhere’s your anger coming from?

[@eleanorrigby1629]

​@Etrielle I think these issues are very real and are... but I agree. There are huge demographics and communities who don't play into this model. I live in one such demographic and I know so many good men and women, single and married. Though I do see how our culture seeps in and the sexual revolution has totally messed w all our brains.

[@petemorton8403]

The more you build the family strong, the more tempting for her to take it. Never a "We" with a wife, only a "me"

[@Kingsolo580]

Frfr I was thinking the same thing I understand what there saying far as an overall aspect but it all just depends on how you was raised in my opinion.

[@lynda2450]

I think the internet really skews us. There’s always some well spoken person feeding us information about something and we can easily latch onto it and take it as 100% fact without giving it much thought or testing the hypothesis. This interview definitely gave me food for thought, but it also just makes me want to get off the internet and just live my life and see how it goes for myself, lol.

[@audreybertelson1972]

Some of what she said is BS and some is very true in my opinion she speaks with a lot of conviction so it's hard to remember that's just one person's point of view

[@WellActualllyyy]

sort of like this lady who isn’t actually a psychologist and is just pulling shit out of her ass Highest divorce rates per capita: Maldives 5.52 Kazakhstan 4.6 Russia 3.9 Belarus 3.5 China 3.2 Moldova 3 Ukraine 2.9 Lithuania 2.8 Cyprus 2.6 United States most promiscuous countries: Australia Brazil Greece Chile New Zealand Germany Italy Switzerland Thailand South Africa

[@S.O.A_Zero]

​@@audreybertelson1972With a ton of experience in many cases

[@kuhataparunks]

A widely misattributed quote but profound is, it’s the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it.

[@_WayofLife_]

Bro you literally put into words exactly what I felt about this interview

[@NoelBuller]

She seems to be heavily biased by her worldview in many ways. But she also has many great points.

[@mlobimkhize5444]

It's her opinion, of course it will be expressed from her world view man.

[@chiobabe2180]

Or your just triggered

[@synergy2782]

Just admit she exposed you

[@hellomarisolmo]

I agree with you. I get it because women can be vindictive. She is hurt. I see it.

[@SheridanNikol]

You're absolutely correct.

[@zieg0r]

Now we need a panel discussion with James the divorce lawyer. 🤯

[@ryanalopez3078]

Exactly.. that would be point counter point.

[@unclefreddy2009]

I think they would agree more than disagree

[@ryanalopez3078]

Hmm I think men have more rights in court during divorce than they did 20 years ago

[@davidrichardson9032]

THIS

[@StephieGsrEvolution]

How about Esther Perel? She actually understands marriage and psychology.

[@70schick36]

She’s absolutely right about how women must be attracted to the man. Absolutely right. And “attracted” is not necessarily just physical attraction.

[@russkiy6ot]

And yet she’s not holding women accountable for their behavior.. for whatever reason. It’s natural for women to destroy/take everything they can from men they don’t respect?

[@tybenz2533]

No, but predominantly in general

[@shellbell8062]

I agree, and it's really interesting when it's laid out like that because it's not something that you consciously think about. We tend to think that attraction is so important for men that we don't really think that it's equally as important for women. A high level of attraction for a woman makes you much more cautious of reigning in your less attractive qualities; as you respect the man and don't want to lose him. It's interesting how women need that to keep them on their toes.

[@sheldonwilliams4952]

She is wrong it is not attraction it is interest If two people of the opposite sex are interested in the same thing or share a similar situation at the time they began to like one another. Attraction doesn’t come immediately. Song’s are written about this phenomenon all the time “firsts we were friends then became lovers

[@shellbell8062]

@@sheldonwilliams4952 that’s a very weird leap in logic. Many songs are also written about love at first sight. Songs are essentially poetry and have nothing to do with reality. I can confirm as a woman that attraction is essential. It’s pretty much always instant. In the case where it’s not, often it feels like compromise or settling. Real connection happens very quickly. Yes you need time to validate whether the relationship will go the distance; but the attraction itself is instant.

[@tmk_2544]

It's cool how her outfit blends with the background.

[@jamescheaye927]

She came prepared

[@kimkeck6266]

He does that specifically for each interview!

[@scarlet__eye9489]

Dudes a photographer, he knows how to put up a good looking set 👌

[@amykyns15]

Lol

[@ImGoingToMakeShowsWithOprah]

I was literally just thinking that 😂

[@JessicaSmith-kf7qs]

I don’t think I live in the same world as this lady. 🤷‍♀️

[@freshguy601]

I had a couple serious relationships with absolute gorgeous women, but every time things went south for that very reason! I am not good looking but brought good money to the table. Eventually I gave someone who was really always attracted to me and boy I found what I was missing. She accepts my flaws and I hers. Being honest to each other as partners has made our lives an absolute perfection!

[@heyhey11793]

Would you cheat on her with a more attractive woman?

[@cyberspace7208]

Happy for you.

[@caseyrobbinssf2040]

Well. I don't think all girls/ women are like that.

[@coolcreamykiwi]

She is so self absorbed its really remarkable, she has been spoon fed arrogant honey from birth, she has become a speaker with the sould purpose to hear her own voice, I feel bad for her patients...

[@justinginter1234]

Once more, in English please

[@SyreLikeAFire]

that last point is so valuable - seek partners with similar upbringings and/or values to yours ⭐️

[@HiGlowie]

Agreed. Sadly now more and more people are degens

[@Melynnest]

Yeah but prospective partners could just be bullshitting and agreeing

[@elinoreberkley1643]

yeah, birds of a feather flock together.

[@70schick36]

Interesting. The opposite could be true. Diverse backgrounds are far more interesting, IMHO. I knew I would not end up with someone from my same culture or religion. I didn’t seek that out but I knew it to be true. It was. Christian and Muslim. Just celebrated our 20th anniversary. Love each other more every day. Still Christian and Muslim. With extreme respect and love for each other.

[@aciuschristophores7789]

Muslim and Christian actually have mostly in common compared to Muslim/Christian with an atheist (which is most people today). Having put God/faith first in life automatically aligns you both in most of the important ways. Congratulations on your 20th!! @@70schick36

[@justloooveb.1670]

I come from a broken home … never seen a man treat my mother right but guess what, I have never loss hope that I would make an amazing wife. Not for his money, for his companionship… for his partnership. For his love. I agree with a lot of things you’re saying, but that one, naaaa. Women that come from broken homes deserve love too

[@kimthoa8533]

You're definitely an outlier. Women from broken homes deserve love too, but they definitely need to do some self-work if they haven't fully healed from their traumas. I think that's what Sadia means. All of us deserve love, but the outcomes of our relationships are usually a result of our unconscious habits that are unfortunately programmed from childhood (unless we become aware of them and take action to make changes).

[@dmorcos001]

I was with a woman who came from a broken home. Does she deserve love? Absolutely. But she needs A LOT of work before she should commit to someone else.. not making that mistake again.

[@slkrick3319]

So where's your husband Ma'am?

[@ghostakita5438]

@@kimthoa8533❤👍🏽❤

[@mallyb132]

I partially agree with these comments only because even though I also come from a broken home, I have aunts and cousins who have been married for decades since early adulthood. No infidelity that I know of, however, seems miserable. Almost as if they’re waiting for their partners to die. Staying married to someone doesn’t equal a successful marriage. Whether you come from a broken home or not. I don’t have the answers, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all-all. Keep in mind there are people in relationships who are afraid to leave. The kids sees this and more than likely the cycle repeats.

[@ManicBubbles]

“We can turn off empathy and replace it with desire and pleasure” needs to be in a textbook

[@blackopal3138]

I think itis probably not very accurate, though. Think about it. Or I'm missing something.

[@sabateezy]

Yeah that’s called narcissism. Is it just me or is all the vrap she’s saying common sense … she’s literally relaying statistics that have been proven to be true, but she says it with a vibe that’s giving…pride and expects accolades… as if she’s disclosing profound new insights that she feels she herself has discovered. Like lol it’s so easy to go viral in their podcast world … state already existing facts that are controversial in nature, reiterate them, and reiterate them in a way that has shock value. Example: promiscuity increases divorce rates and makes the children suffer. Noooooo…. Really? Wow eh I would’ve never guessed ! What profound insight you’ve enlightened the world with lol like that knowledge is as ancient as the Bible! Not to mention the kings having secret concubines //‘’womrn forced to be sex slaves for the king and the wealthy ….men were cheating on their wives just as much back then as people cheat now … there just weren’t studies done on it back then and it didn’t affect the children bcuz the wealth was there so wife and kids were taken care of. So according to that statistic promiscuity doesn’t harm the children’s upbringing, the lack of financial stability and support from broke asss lazy men and women not working enough/.effort into obtaining a higher paying job. Having sex with other polis neither here nor there when it comes to loving and supporting ur child. A faithful married man could be uninvolved and unemployed but they’re sexually loyal not promiscuous…and that harms the child. The promiscuity of a man or women isn’t a statistic fact that it harms children. It’s correlated not factual. And its correlated bcuz b upon getting caught it estranges them from the kid it the spouse keeps the kids away from the cheater using them as pawns…again…that’s a factor of an immature person robbing a child of their other parents relationship…

[@seancolorado]

Sadia is intelligent and well-suited for this channel, making a lot of wonderful points. There are also lots of broad generalizations and oversimplifications masked as hard truths that do not accurately reflect all segments of society and all cultural interpretations of monogamous relationships. Overall, I find it hard to recommend this as a psychologist's interview, but it's an interesting discussion on relationships that I hope people interpret critically.

[@christinasanders5625]

Well said.

[@christinasanders5625]

Intelligence is not the same as education. She is lacking proper education in psychology. But yes, she is intelligent.

[@jaredmello]

@@christinasanders5625yes. She has a degree in education and is a relationship coach who masquerades as a psychologist. As a coach myself, I don’t mind people speaking their mind on topics, but I draw the line at deceiving people about your credentials.

[@disarchitected]

Usually they are talking about themselves, and have entered this profession to heal themselves. 20:20 she does say the stuff she is saying represents a particular extreme although most of what she is saying is present to a lesser or greater extent in all relationships. People in ‘normal’ relationships wouldn’t have need of her services, so she is talking about the more extreme end.

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@Trokonzah]

She was really sharing game. There were so many real takeaways. This was an amazing interview.

[@madalinamit4694]

It seems like that to an outsider that does not have psychology knowledge. Most of the stuff she says is BS tho.

[@Marcus_MG42]

Not really actually. She is a pseudopsychologist.

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@obeseelephant7202]

I like how poised she was. And she was very direct, only answering questions when asked directly. She left him alot of time to share his opinion (the interviewer).

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@sean8081a]

Moral of the story: get a prenup or don't get married, period.

[@camvworld5674]

Better yet, don’t sign marriage papers to begin with.

[@stansmultifandoms5686]

From your comment you didn't seem to have absord what Ms. Khan was saying. It's not to get a prenup or not married at all but to make sure you're a healthy mentally and physically so that you make the right decision when it comes to a life long commitment like marriage.

[@cryomaniac3217]

Incel takeaway

[@hamesh5175]

Not really. A prenup is the best thing to filter out dishonest and malicious women. There is no incel here whatsoever

[@willwesten3749]

Pick me response....​@@cryomaniac3217

[@KerryDSC]

As a guy even when I was in my 20's I never subscribed to the mindset of trying to find the most attractive woman. I saw so many examples of guys getting dragged through the mud and accept being treated like trash just because she was attractive. I have always been attracted to authenticity and connection. What makes a woman really attractive to me is her sense of humor, and a high level of empathy and compassion. Looks for me only go so far, Character and accountability and the ability to reciprocate energy in the relationship. Honestly that is all I want........her actions and words have to match, unfortunately it's been extremely hard to find. great interview, Sadia's perspective is spot on.

[@ElCazador66]

1000% true, dude! And as I grow old, women who are considered very pretty are even a turn off to me tbh, I mean that kind of artificial/vain beauty, natural beauty is always desirable on the other hand, and most average looking women are pretty in their own way, what stands out is the personality and the character as you said. To fall strictly for looks is a huge, huge trap and I've known many broken men because of this.

[@MrBlade110]

I left my sons mom because of this exact reason. I am a 6 figure earner so I’ve had my licks..

[@2Cenery]

Love and learn. We all know what we need but as a man, it’s natural to desire a pretty woman. However, good that you found this ideology at a younger age.

[@zacfromArkansas]

I hope you find that one day. You just described what I love about my wife. Please don't become discouraged, there are quality women out there. My wife has genuinely made me a better human being. She has more integrity, honesty, and depth than most men I've known.

[@AnnaleeBelle]

Keep looking for that sense of humor!! That alone adds SO MUCH to our marriage. We’re both empathetic and sympathetic as well, but that sense of humor really saves us. Good for you for being young and knowing what’s truly important. 😊 Also… I met my husband when he was 37 and I was 25. He had a lot of doozies, but our relationship now is just the freaking best and we grow to live each other more every day, even at 10 years in. ❤

[@ummjunayd1511]

For someone who claims to be an academic she over generalizes a lot. And when she talked about how bold romantic gestures like writing a woman poetry are feminine and women are not attracted to it, it would have been better if she said SHE is not attracted to that. That it is maybe the women she hangs with who might be attracted to men they have to remind of their anniversary instead of applying this to all women. Many women love old school romance and saying that the masculine way to show love is to be negligent romantically is extremely inaccurate.

[@Jay_490]

She does tend to over generalize. Alot of women have said they like it when their man is romantic and deep with them but not with the general public. They want the romance, kindness & warmth & from their partner. They want their partner to exclusively share that with them only. I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s always been rough exterior soft interior. What even makes a romantic relationship if there aren’t sweet exchanges.

[@gcogco305]

It sounded like a woman bashing interview.

[@don_specialfx2632]

I understand this comment but u seem to have "over generalized" her point yourself. That example was meant to explain why "nice guys finish last". Her main point was that masculinity is the attracting force for the woman, in the long run. An effeminate partner isn't generally attractive except that particular woman wants that type of man.

[@SeniorAdrian]

I mean this woman from what i've seen from her she clearly is brainwashed. She lives in Dubai for a reason. She is hunting for money. She thinks poetry it's a waste of time. I don't think she obtained her diplomas legitimately. She is way to superficial.

[@jmw-q4u]

​@@gcogco305nah

[@mistep444]

I'll add my own testimonial. When I was a bachelor and was dating my present wife, my grandmother once said to me: "The fact that your girfriend is so much in love with you makes you more likely to be happy in your relationship. If a women doesn't love you firmly, you're preparing for yourself nothing but misery down the road. Therefore you should do whatever is possible to make your present reletionship develop in to something stable and institutionalized (i.e. marriage)".

[@smallypuppy22]

Most men don't grasp this concept anymore. I was head over heels , completely in love with my last boyfriend, would have done anything for that man kind of love. He left me, called me "sick" in the end and didn't answer me anymore. Most men nowdays just want a really hot chick by their side. I'm glad you worked on your relationship and it has gone well.

[@flawlessfatherhood]

Sounds like she was pushing you towards marrying her granddaughter. I'm glad you're still married tho.

[@chidinmaokobah602]

I don’t agree with the manipulating part.. it’s not the fundamental sha..

[@chidinmaokobah602]

This is why I must marry right. So my kids will understand what love is

[@flawlessfatherhood]

@@chidinmaokobah602 U can TRY to marry right. Only time will tell.

[@crazeekids9744]

The risk for a woman to give up 20-30 years of her life to marriage is NOT the same as the risk for a man. A middle aged woman who is divorced has WAY less prospects, professionally and personally, than a middle aged man who is divorced.

[@crazeekids9744]

@muneebiqbal5584 if there is more risk, then women should plan accordingly and have safety nets in place.

[@arthurlisi9296]

@muneebiqbal5584that's not what he's saying

[@I.D.I.O.C.R.A.C.Y.]

Lol. Just stop. Women have way more support in society than men.

[@angryagain3801]

Totally disagree, What country are you posting from? A middle aged woman doesn't have WAY less prospcts professionally if they have already established a career and have in-demand skills. Maybe you're thinking of a stay at home wife, one who doesn't work? On that I can agree.

[@RandyArcher-ic2zk]

many many women who are marrying for the first time now are already in their middle age.. women can’t even claim “gave him good years” anymore.. her prospects and career is not the mans problem

[@heatherroydiy]

I grew up in a single parent home, met my husband when I was seventeen, we had three children bought a home then married. I didn't know that it was an option to marry without inviting all of our friends and family, 28 year later we are still together. I prioritized having a big wedding and that's why we waited. Looking back now I would have married him within the first few months together at city hall! Im not sure I can pin point exactly why our marriage and love has lasted other then I truly couldn't even imagine my life without him. I have so much respect for my husband as the father of our incredible sons, I love this man. My husband is wonderful, I feel blessed that my boys have him as a father! I am grateful he is my husband my forever love!

[@itchynail]

the key factor is that you grew up on the remnants of patriarhy. So even one parent childhood couldnt ruin that set of longing for a man, a husband

[@prinnycupcakes4992]

@@itchynaillol what remnants of patriarchy… 30 years ago it was as strong as it is now. maybe in another50 years it will be gone but it’s far from gone and far from sing a remnant… Some people are just lucky like this OP to find a partner that works and keeps working in the long term…

[@sarasoleman1661]

You are so lucky!

[@frankgallo2946]

You are a diamond 💎 and hard to find

[@jrky8857]

​@@prinnycupcakes4992The "patriarchy" will never be gone, because it's just a nonsensical feminist redefining of what life is. Go to an abandoned island and try to survive with a small group of 25 or so people. "The patriarchy," aka reality, will be revived within the year, if the group survives that long. Not everything is about some imaginary oppressor/oppressed relationship. The reason it works for OP is because it's a relationship based off two people coming together to complement each other's natural abilities and not trying to redefine reality with Frankfurt school textbook nonsense that doesn't work in real life.

[@aaroncoal28]

My life began when I met my wife at 35. The married life suits me fine and I enjoy the daily grind when I have my best friend by my side. Guys.. The grass is NOT greener on the other side.

[@jasonolinger7585]

it means cheating is not always as good as it seems. But you can say that about anything.

[@aaroncoal28]

@@user-up2pe1fw1l Meaning you are going to have days in the tedium of marriage where a woman at work or a lady at the mall might give a moment of pause.. But don't entertain it.. The destruction it would cause will far outweigh the fleeting moments of pleasure. Embrace the tedium and then fulfillment will come in tending to your own lawn. When you are old you will have that companion that carries you.

[@Gentorizu]

The grass is greenest where you water it.

[@HelpMeFindTheseSongs]

I'm 38 years old, single, and keep a steady rotation of new women. All my married male friends and family members tell me they're jealous. The grass is greenest wherever you want it to be 👍

[@oiBashyy]

@@HelpMeFindTheseSongs when you need to rely on one of those women, see what happens, theres no loyalty in a rotation, your married friends are much better off than you.

[@Hey_cutie_pie]

Beware of any person who speaks with an air of authority in such broad generalizations. Love, attraction, and relationships between men and women come in a thousand different combinations for an infinite number of reasons.

[@lildude677]

Thank you! Your comment is like a breath of fresh air

[@deathrat]

Great point

[@YoungKing50]

There is 8 billion of us on this floating rock, while there is many reasons why men and women may fall in love- most of the patterns start to become a trend you can monitor and see if the reasons that follow also become a trend. This is called study and science, hence where the generalizations come from

[@ladymystique453]

I mean.. considering that she has a PHD in psychology.. I would say that she can speak with an air of authority. Lol.

[@SonoranOrigin]

Yeah, the amount of generalizations was very disappointing. Especially her views on feminism and her and Mark's "men at the gym" analogy which was hilariously wrong. Men hate on other men constantly and think being emotionally supportive is a "weakness."

[@clebinhoclebinho1201]

Such intelligent woman and such health conversation!! I am thankful to have had the opportunity to witnessed this conversation.

[@tausifmulla]

Sadia you were classy throughout the interview. It was nice listening to you. Mark, we need more such videos.

[@cinnamon--girl]

I stopped at 24:00. As someone that was married for a very long time, came from a divorced family, and lived through the experience of my younger sister healing after a violent rape, I cannot agree with her ability to clump a lot of people together and generalize so much. I am guessing she is representative of social media therapy.

[@mar2406tube]

she just wants to make money by being controversial, she is full of BS

[@eddievaliant8956]

If you stopped at 24, you missed a lot. She has strict marital values and believes that marriage should never end in divorce at least for the sake of children. She's not really "clumping" people together, she's stating facts such as p0rn disensitization or marriage based on merit and not looks or wealth. You're already fixated on what you want to hear because of your personal experiences. Had you listened to someone who came from a divorced family and were married a long time, you may have enjoyed it. May I make a suggestion of the divorce lawyer Mark had on about 4 months ago. You might like his video.

[@ismanovska]

Finish she does make good points..there was a few spots where I didn't agree but she does a good job

[@saphire9823]

I feel like maybe she's a grifter. Psychologist myself and I've worked in the field of anti-violence for the last decade. There are a lot of sweeping generalizations and it seems her world view is certainly shaped a certain way. I have to say that there are a few things I agree with that she says but some things are just simply false, I just don't have the time to challenge them in the form of a KZbin comment

[@mar2406tube]

@@saphire9823 she always springles some true facts, so all she says would come off as ligitimate... But for sure her viewpoint is exceptionally herself and herself only... human behavior is morr nuanced and complicated than her black and white thinking..

[@shulamay]

As a biologist, anybody who makes claims about psychology based on evolutionary conjecture is not a responsible and professional psychologist in my opinion. You could hypothesize an evolutionary reason for a phenomenon (and make sure you know it's only cojecture and not claim it to be the truth, as these things are mostly unprovable), but you first have to establish that the phenomenon exists. You can't do it the other way around. That's not science.

[@bottledwater4484]

I don't think anyone has ever told her she sounds like Depok Chopra.

[@fundamonium]

You realise psychology is essentially a pseudoscience?

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@rushmetofood]

thank you! entire interview sounded like a rant of an uninformed teenager! just because someone is saying something with confidence does not mean they are not simultaneously pulling it out of their ass.

[@Sadune85]

She is Muslim

[@CallmeCalypso]

An extremely attractive woman myself, trust me when you get older and hit the wall, it doesn't get easier. It actually gets harder if you don't have your husband all set and everything. I was married to close to 20 years and had to divorce because he became abuse of due to hidden drug use. At that point I was in my '40s. Once I hit about 45 my body and face started changing and things just aren't the same.

[@maygrantz4426]

exactly..there is a lot of truth of what you said.. anyway, being beautiful and is how you feel about yourself and some women are extremely beautiful even they age but they don't feel beautiful,so they are addicted to enhance their beauty. The most beautiful things in this world ,can not be touch or seen but is how you feel.

[@aoifeowton8187]

I disagree with her comments about girl code being fake. Idk maybe it's a generational thing but I find my female friendships incredibly rewarding. And generally when I interact with girls I don't know they are always friendly. Maybe she's not a girls girl idk.

[@craigslist6988]

people vary. Mark is also wrong that "guys will just complement each other". Guys obviously get competitive all the time, talking smack about who is better at blah blah blah. Same as women. It's almost like people's individual personality matters more to explain what they'll do than their sex. Wow, groundbreaking... if you've been transported here from the 1800s. It was a ridiculous exchange of no critical thinking and vague meaningless statements. The commenters impressed by this probably get excited when they eat a balony sandwich.

[@hadasabriciu3462]

I think she herself lives in a very superficial world - and she extrapolates that and talks as if the whole world is as superficial as hers.

[@nakalawatson233]

Yeah I agree she spoke in a lot of generalizations and something just seems off in general. It also seems as if she exclusively interacts w rich af ppl so there’s that lmao.

[@dreamlover5569]

😂😂😂​@@craigslist6988

[@yzma6142]

I agree. my female friendships have poured so much life into me

[@elizabethh8362]

I would argue against the last point to some degree. I think if one party comes from a broken home and the other from a stable home, but the former has done the work to heal and perhaps has a "chosen" family, it can be a beautiful relationship for both parties. Trauma can harm you, but if healed, it can also provide perspective for those who struggle to understand difficult people. Likewise, a healthy family dynamic can tremendously heal someone who lacked it. This, of course, requires self-reflection and empathy from both parties. I think a lot of these blanket statements should be seen as generalizations and not rules.

[@kellywoodwardcore5360]

Absolutely! With awareness, healing and intention people can certainly heal and create healthy homes for themselves and their children.

[@joelmolinapalau6811]

Like that assumption of women not liking men to give them poetry. As far as my experience goes, many women friends or partners of male friends seem somewhat happy with their mild, thoughtful, romantic male partners. And then, you have women who love horror movies and watching real crime documentaries after a hard day, that become a perfect match for people like me, and we don’t complain as much and often as regular people do. Among all these generalizations, I go with the ones of men wanting submissive behavior from women while knowing that also some other men are more attracted to strong, independent women.

[@sherolie]

I agree. I think if both parties work on their crap and most people DO have them, it can create a beautiful bond that is authentic.

[@phoenixrisin2269]

@@joelmolinapalau6811Romance is for men

[@phoenixrisin2269]

You can not heal someone else’s trauma. That is your personal responsibility to heal yourself before you get in another relationship. You especially can’t heal someone from childhood trauma so that’s a definite no go. Personal responsibility and accountability is an XXs kryptonite! 💪

[@Stoic_Metalhead]

This is one of the most powerful interviews you've done Mark. Great job!

[@Sonzoul1]

I met my husband at 40 and he was 42. I realized that he was kind and a responsible person but I did not fell in love with him. There was an attraction from both sides. Today, after 18 years being together, our relationship is becoming stronger. We hardly argue. We are very respectful and caring to each other. My conclusion is that to be in a healthy realtionship, there are some important points: 1. we all have some baggages, we have to be ready to confront all issues and improve ourselves together 2. Mind games, being irresponsible, disrespectful are some of the reasons why people divorce. 3. The most important one for me is communication is bullshit when one of the partners is a narcissist or selfish. To communicate and listen to the other person, first you have to have empathy, understanding, taking responsibility of your mistakes and trying to improve them.

[@AxisandAllies72]

Mark, I loved Soft White Underbelly's content 3 years ago, but I'm even happier the channel is pivoting in this direction. Great stuff!

[@liukang85]

what direction... he's still mainly interviewing hookers and addicts or not (I'd prefer him to actually interview seemingly 'everyday' people as well and not just go for either famous people or as addicts and prostitutes...)

[@sweetrwf]

@@liukang85 Luikang, this woman he is interviewing is neither a hooker or an addict, you can say she is a seemingly "everyday person".

[@victor75208]

​@@liukang85he probably thinks that SWU is taking the red pill

[@AxisandAllies72]

@@victor75208 you’re inept.

[@AxisandAllies72]

@@victor75208 you’re inept.

[@youtube_iccy815]

I love your content and the direction you are moving in to truly help others which is so much more than simply broadcasting train wrecks and tragedies.

[@InTheOuter]

Perfect compliment to the James Sexton video. Nice work. I like your usual guests, but I hope you explore this angle more also.

[@The-Right-is-Right]

I have to disagree. I don't like this path of interviewing mainstream professionals who are using this as a marketing opportunity - such professionals can be seen on traditional media easily by anyone. James Sexton was fine...but interviewing others may not be a great idea. I thought the whole idea of SWU was to give voice to the UNHEARD.

[@jooliagoolia9959]

Things evolve @@The-Right-is-Right

[@Alexandra-uk4vr]

​@@The-Right-is-Right While I see where you're coming from, I'd hope they can find a balance between hearing the stories from the unnoticed and allowing professionals in fields linked to interpersonal relationships to shed light on these modern social dynamics. The two segments have the potential to compliment each other in a meaningful, eye-opening way, providing different perspectives that help us further understand the correlation between our behaviors and what's led us to them.

[@InTheOuter]

@@The-Right-is-Right Good points also, but I think offering a proffessional viewpoint as to what causes the breakdown of these relationships that leads to the unheard ending up like the do is good to fill on the whole picture. Each to their own

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@brendarushka9966]

Great interview. Very insightful. More like this please!

[@gregoryheelan]

That was an absolutely riveting and incredible interview. There were many times while your guest was speaking that I cringed or felt deep pain as her words spoke directly to my experience. Very insightful very intelligent and also accessible and kind. I hope that she has one or more books in the world to share her insights.

[@ralphfraz]

I watched this interview while processing getting dumped by a girl I thought was the dream. IMMENSE thanks to Sadia for making SO MANY THINGS CLEAR. ESPECIALLY when she Said "Trauma is contagious, you'll end up traumatizing the person who's trying to love you" .. This felt like watching scared straight for relationships and I will never again let beauty blind me from red flags

[@salvagelife308]

If anyone is familiar with the late Patrice O’Neal, he literally spoke on this same topic of being a man your woman can respect damn near a decade ago and here we are having the same conversation. This interview literally proves the brilliance of Patrice and his quest to wake men up and try to even the battlefield. Great interview and hope to continue seeing this type of work.

[@555reaper]

The Game stays the same, the only thing that changes is the faces and the places.

[@legoswami]

Rest in Peace Patrice

[@alexandrialadd3125]

Love Patrice what can I search to find what he said?

[@SFsailingbiking]

The Black Philip Show

[@kurtvanluven9351]

After being treated like trash by most women I have met, I do not give a Sh@@ what women want.

[@stevedarbouze4369]

at 17:19 he said guys dont really hate on other guys for success or see them as threats … oh you would be surprised brother, let me tell you. many many many men out there r haters, and they are usually secret haters so its harder to pick up. everyone is evaluating each others success's and gift's, and keeping tabs on people in general. both men and woman

[@kennedyifeh3389]

I picked that up too. Men don't hate on other men's appearance, but men hate on other men's power, money and influence

[@stevedarbouze4369]

yeah your right. But some will be jealous of looks depending on the psychology of the person hating or the relationship a hater has with a good looking guy. your right guys usually are not jealous of other guys looks, but some still might be, or they may hate if the guy has a muscular body. @@kennedyifeh3389​

[@futureshocked]

There's a lot in this video that is really off. Here's some disagreements I had within 6 minutes of watching: 1. The divorce rates between Millenials is going down--divorce may have been more of a function of Silent Generation-Gen X 2. When you actually talk to Millenials and Gen Z's, people are talking more and more about things like 'intentional monogamy'. That might sound silly but if you pause and think about how Boomers and Gen X got married and had kids JUST TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS you start to see where the actual fault line lies. A lot of Boomers and Gen X parents flat out never actually liked each other. 3. The idea that sex toys for women drives divorce...sex toys have literally existed forever. We have actually found dildos made out of wood from prehistoric civilizations 4. The idea that she's saying @6:00 comes from porn is absurd--now to be clear, I DO agree with her that if you're getting with a woman because she conforms to beauty standards, it will lead to your destruction. But the thing is, that absolutely does not have to come from 'porn'. I was with a woman like this--conventionally beautiful to me--but that wasn't from 'porn', it was WAY MORE because she matched that aesthetic of 'the hot valedictorian'. Literally nothing there to do with pornography, just my own faulty assumptions at the time.

[@Boosted_aj]

@@futureshockedas for your last point. You found that aesthetic pleasing from somehwere. Now imagine y oh are a young impressionable boy and your constantly taking in “incest”, “rough” (pretend r word), or even “teen” types… it’s bad

[@futureshocked]

@@Boosted_aj Literally all the porn you just mentioned has absolutely been available for a while now. Fun fact--the united states went through its first Child Pornography crisis back in the 1920s. Real talk, the kids growing up with this will AND ARE going to have to make a level of emotional jump similar to Siddartha and I'm not being facetious. It will be up to them to sort out what this porn is bringing out of them (whether it be a lack of intimacy, or violent urges) and make that journey out and to mature. But the urges are already there, blaming things on porn gets to *a point* where its getting the cart before the horse.

[@marial3609]

So refreshing! The truth being told without any filters!.. it’s been a long time…

[@sudhindrakopalle7071]

She is so articulate and clear about her ideas and perspectives. Very engaging.

[@Altaw33l]

It’s funny how a woman who was married for a month and kept her father away from his family is giving this type of advice

[@Radiantribe]

What do you mean kept her father away from his family?@@Altaw33l

[@pdcdesign9632]

@@Altaw33l IS THIS TRUE? ONE MONTH?

[@tiffanyapril5458]

Please. She’s not a real psychologist nor should she claim to be one. Simple google search. No credentials someone should report her honestly. She justifies child marriage too

[@Altaw33l]

@@Radiantribe her father has 2 wives. One is in pakistan the other was sadias mum. Sadia and her mother did not allow their father to see his children from his first wife.

[@simomarbouh6619]

the woman who is truly in love with you is the one who would appreciate when you write her a poem or a love letter.

[@4everu984]

I received 3 poems, Haiku’s actually, in 20 years. It means everything, and always correlates to when We are doing great. He is a man of few words so all words matter.

[@michaelsotomayor5001]

Finally after about fifteen comments, a reasonable one. How are people listening to this hack is beyond me 😂 maybe they need someone to pander to their insecurities about women. It’s a cudgel that actually cripples them even further. Sad but true.

[@AdeyanjuAdebayo-r6r]

I literally scrolled through the comments checking if anyone said this and you did, Thank you

[@lisahinton9682]

@simomarbouh6619 I think you misunderstood her. She distinctly mentioned _in the courting phase,_ women are turned off by this. Once you're well into the relationship, I wouldn't have a problem with receiving a poem. But when we are first getting to know each other? Eww, just ewwww..

[@michaelsotomayor5001]

@@lisahinton9682 not everyone thinks like you. Sometimes we are a minority in our thoughts. Try being more open minded. It only benefits society.

[@Jen-Inspired]

I don’t think girl code is fake, because I belong to a tight sisterhood of friends- girls I have known for 15+ yrs. That said, I was beyond shocked when a former work friend tried to hook up with our other work friend’s husband! He is a decent man, so he shut it down and reported it to his wife. That was the end of our collective relationship

[@sitdowndogbreath]

How about the ones you don't see hot shot how about that

[@elenaismail4082]

Mark, you're doing an incredible work, thank you! One request though, if you could ask your guests to remove their hair, clothes, etc from the microphone, that would help a lot. There is so much noise because of those things rubbing against the mic, that I sometimes struggle to hear what they say. And it's too interesting to skip the details. Appreciate it!

[@sherrysalls9184]

Although I don’t agree with everything she said, all of her interview was fascinating and compelling. Thank you!

[@prathyusha5393]

Felt the same way through out .. !

[@Multi-Color]

Same~ she had some zingers in her pearls of wisdom but she also had some über cringe misogynistic & retro -conservative stuff

[@tideio]

I disagree with a ton of things she said, which makes me worried for the people that believe her blindly.

[@tideio]

@@Multi-Colorthis!

[@yongdol73]

@@tideioHow about you disagreeing with her blindly? It is so fcking funny that you ate saying people are agreeing with her blindly because you do not agree with her.

[@davesrvchannel4717]

This has been the most therapeutic video I’ve ever watched in my life. I’m 55 yrs old. She echoes thoughts I’ve had, fears and realities I didn’t want to face.

[@JPizz2008]

They’re opinions, not reality. Perspectives, perhaps.

[@zzygyy]

​@JPizz2008 the reality is humanity is going to hell in a hand basket. Decline of the western civilization.

[@BanditsandBusiness]

Yup. Absolutely blown away by this interview

[@brandonrothsman2665]

@@JPizz2008unfortunately her opinions which are based in reality and the science of the mind, are very true. Be smart to listen at the very least

[@fuzzboi]

@@JPizz2008 Given by her profession, and that she most likely have gathered those “opinions” from speaking with a lot of people. To me that carries a lot of credibility.

[@opaidios]

For those of you like me who didn’t grow up with a solid value system, you can in fact build it yourself. I just want you to know that. It doesn’t have to come from your family. God bless.

[@kearonhardy8879]

Thanks for being so candid. Funny how a one hour podcast showed me wher and why I keep having the most dysfunctional relationships. Great speaker too.

[@mcjsrn]

I repented from porn, alcohol, pot, cigarettes, Facebook, Instagram and toxic relationships over the past year. Its been very difficult, but its been worth it. Turning to, believing in and trusting a higher power has been the key. Finding and fostering relationships with those who've done the same is essential. Exercising and eating natural foods are crucial too. Again its difficult but worth it.

[@strikephorce]

“Indeed, those who believe and have done good deeds, their Lord guides them with their belief, flowing beneath them rivers in gardens of bliss” Quran 10:9

[@jenjamison790]

Wish I had the courage to do the same. Keep moving in the right direction towards love and light 🧡♥️

[@Realkimaningugi]

grow In faith,Love and Hope.Repentance is a lifelong process. Yahuah bless you

[@bellafontejohnson-bm8ep]

Shit I smoke fent & rock cocaine. Still have a full time job been there for as long as i been getting high. I guess it’s a mindset thing 😊😊😊😊

[@kieeeda]

@bellafontejohnson-bm8ep that’s not quite the flex you think it is ma’am…or sir..whichever you prefer…

[@EvolvedJewel]

In California, one cannot be called a Psychologist without a license and a doctorate in psychology. She is more aptly called a psychotherapist. Although (some) other places allow one to be called a psychologist without a doctorate, it can be confusing to a larger audience.

[@theylivewesleep4682]

Agreed. Some of her comments are flawed and based on her opinion rather than factual. This would explain it.

[@s.a.8106]

In Germany you need a Bachelor, than a Master degree followed by another qualification of 5 years to be allowed to use professionally the title "psychological psychotherapist". ( I know the title is weird 😁)The differences between the nations when to use which title are interesting.

[@azriel1668]

True , u can cook but if u don’t go to school for become a professional chef or koki, ur not qualify to work in 5 star hotels

[@vltruan]

I would say about 98% of what she saying is pretty much factual. I’ve been studying this subject for a couple of years now. The data is pretty clear. You don’t need a degree to be right, lol.

[@RalooFrancesca33]

Thank you ! I feel uncomfortable to see her as a reference taken by many youtubers called psychologist when she clearly don't seem to talk more than her clichés.

[@GemCityGypsy]

Mark, that was a seamless transition into the better help commercial. Awesome work.

[@slide5039]

I mean, having a psychologist on the panel didn’t hurt the segueway one bit

[@lamar5803]

Great Ad for mental health!

[@plantstho6599]

Too bad better help shares your personal info to companies to send you targeted ads based on diagnosis.

[@beautywithraami]

I love her confidence. Such class!

[@AkitaLover1013]

Thanks Mark! Thanks Sadia! This is a very interesting conversation. I’m old school, married 43 years. We been through ups and downs but we loved enough each other to work together to move forward!

[@wildfiregirl1556]

Amen teamwork makes the dream works. Blessings.

[@BLE000]

The bit about perceived attractive women not having many friends, regrettably is so very true. Add being a successful entrepreneur and it’s even higher. I have 3 older sisters, and I have always treated them with love and care, and yet they have tried to sabotage me in both my personal life and business. Sad, and very lonely.

[@ultimatewarrior659]

Maybe we should get together..I'm lonely too

[@natashasays]

I hope that's the truth in why I never seemed to find loyal female friends in the past. Now that I've gained tons of weight from taking antidepressants (which saved my life) I find it much easier to get along with other women and don't seem to be the target for passive aggression much anymore. Maybe it's just age, though, or the fact that I am a happier person, so who knows.

[@ladymystique453]

Can we be besties?? Lol

[@mariecait]

My two older sisters leave me out a lot. I tell them and they call me dramatic. There is nothing more painful than being ostracized by loved ones. I’m not sure why they do it but I think there’s a sick pleasure they get knowing I’ll be hurting while they’re happy. My chosen family is my cats. I have no friends either because I own my own condo and many of my friends are still struggling. I’ve helped them all and helped pay their rent but it seems that made them only resent me more. It’s not in my nature to be cruel to others ever and I am so broken our society doesn’t address the family unit more and how important community is to all of our lives.

[@ultimatewarrior659]

@@mariecait sounds like you and I have a lot in common..let's become lovers so we will never be alone again!

[@vapues873]

This speaker has made some huge leaps in confounding correlation/causation and also in making sweeping generalizations.

[@jgjggkhl4719]

Because she"s a fake. I can't understand why more people aren't seeing this. Mark got played or he's playing his audience.

[@katerinahikesalot1644]

I stopped 5 mins in because she has a very clear traditional, conservative perspective. She actually said that if women are attracted to men they will be submissive to them (and I’m assuming she did not mean in a fun way!). I don’t know where she was trained, but I am relatively fresh out of a masters in psychotherapy program, with additional training in sex and couples counseling in the US. I disagree with almost everything she said.

[@jeffjackson3356]

@@katerinahikesalot1644 you’re the one who’s been indoctrinated with liberal bs

[@mathewdaniels2640]

This.

[@saphire9823]

I agree. & I'm a psychologist

[@bigdstag]

One of the best SWU episodes, hands down. She delivers that stuff so well. Next time mic her so you can't hear her shirt!! Love you... you bring a lot of joy to my life

[@liznicholas922]

For some people marriage is a romantic ideal. Maybe some people that have come from broken homes believe they can restructure their life and have children , the house and financial and emotional security, something that they've never had. It's an Ideal

[@SolorockinOne]

And let’s just be 💯… Men are the some people.

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@ChristopherX30]

@19:00 - "Everybody has conditions. Some of those conditions are far more transactional than others. And how you know how transactional it is is how attractive the person is. If they are genuinely attracted to you, it gets less and less transactional. As the attraction decreases, the tranasction increases." MIND.....BLOWN!!! 🤯🤯

[@zaccatacc]

This is literally the black pill.

[@jeffreywhipple9925]

Love the “new direction “ of the channel with field level experts such as Ms Khan

[@KatherinePalms]

Field level expert?

[@0vrhl]

There's absolutely no proof that she has any expertise in the field lol.

[@eurieus]

she seems bullshitty to me, her cedential are iffy at best, there's no proof of her education except some slides on her website, and her whole channel seems to be geared towards incels. there'S also a video of her defending child marriage, so yeah.

[@0penthaughtz]

She is 100% dead on, on just about everything she said and she doesn't sugarcoat it. I appreciate that immensely!

[@indicavonhaze9296]

I was excited to watch this because I love psychology and SWU interviews in general. So, I’m kinda disappointed her answers seem to be more based on her opinions rather than actual psychology based answers.

[@neigeepierrot4694]

I see that too and she also doesn’t back them up

[@lanacrystal8147]

Yes she really needs to interject some “most people” and “I have found” or “the majority of people I see”.

[@yuriination]

THIS. Absolutely. You can even tell as soon as the opening clip. That was a red flag 🚩 straight out of the gate with that misogynistic quip about women are only marrying for money. She likes to paint with a broad brush. Correlation isn't causation. Im curious what changes in her "stats" when she factors in poverty, racism, sexism, underfunded access to good education, access to women's access to birth control and abortion and mental health education and access OVER THE LAST 50 YEARS. This is absolute religion fueled, shame based, manipulated biased data, HACKERY. The female version of Jordan Peterson.

[@GoldPeakLLC]

@@lanacrystal8147true, can be anecdotal facts but hard to disagree with.

[@lisanevins3605]

Apparently she is not a trained Psychologist or a registered one to practice. Has no formal scooling on the subject not even a B A. But rather a grifter grifting. Didn't take less than 5 mins for me to put the brakes on this one. "Rape is about men wanting to have sex with a women who does'nt" wtf. Me doesn't just consist of men raping women, it can be to other men , a child. & rape is about kany different things. Ya I'm not buying what she's selling. Generalized, brief, false, uneducated answers. I live in Canada , she would need 6 years post secondary education and a Provincial license( written test similar to a bar exam) to practice. Don't pay & fall for the gift people.

[@speedfastman]

Seems like this video is more for pushing a narrative than being a thoughtful piece.

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@stephanies5686]

@@tiffanyapril5458do you have links to support that?

[@dwight4k]

@@tiffanyapril5458 Do you have proof?

[@InnerGiggles]

100%

[@AmandaMuse]

Hmmm there’s a couple of red flags here folks

[@lewislibre]

She’s single herself isn’t she ? And lives in Dubai 🤔

[@Ryan-rf6nl]

Just a couple?

[@systemicsystems703]

A modest muslim

[@algorithmgeneratedanimegir1286]

Nice try cat lady.

[@alexz7775]

Lots of Redpill adjacent crap. Ridiculous generalization by someone with a degree in education ffs.

[@Ninglor888]

Just wanted to say: I love your channel and what you are doing with the interviews. Especially when you interview people at the bottom of society. Thank you for your work. It will go a long way

[@Evilanarchy81]

Love your channel Mark, this was a brilliant and captivating conversation to watch. Sadia is spot on with every single word she spoke. The question of why would you get married if you already have a child and are living together is the exact situation I was in. We had been together for about 10 years and we decided to have a child. When our son was around 2 years old I asked my ex partner if she would like to get married , for the reason of taking my last name to make things easier for documentation and that kind of stuff so she would have the same last name as her son, which seem to make sense to both of us. So we got married and after 5 years of marriage we got divorced and separated due to me finding out she had been unfaithful. That was about 4 years ago and I'm still struggling with the pain of the separation not to mention being financial destroyed after fighting a custody battle to gain access to our son who was 7 years old at the time we separated, my heart breaks when I think about the impact its had on him. I feel as if I failed him as a father because I could keep our family together. She took our son from me and denied me access which absolutely broke my soul because my son and I are very very close. I ended being awarded 50/50 custody but it was a battle to get there, Our son is my world and his welfare and him growing up to be a confident, respectful man that can communicate and has emotion awareness and hopefully be a role model for other young men is my job and a job that I take very seriously and I do it all with out yelling or being physical. I coach and guide him with great communication and positive encouragement. When something gets hard or dosnt go our way we say good now we have the opertunity to learn and make adjustments. and I despise social media because I watched in real time as it slowly consumed my ex partner.

[@brendacarey5207]

I married for love, supported him emotionally and financially while he climbed the ladder, my body birthed our children. As I got older he searched for younger left me with no home, the children and a huge loss of his income (my job was on the back burner for his career). Your take is I should just except that all the burden of bills children lack career and faded looks should be on me and he just leaves with his career money girl our children’s age and walks away to have a happy life is fair is wrong. In a relationship someone always has to sacrifice to keep the family prosperous the person that does should be protected financially if the other goes with the ability to make the money.

[@9395gb]

She literally said men need to stop chasing looks but fall in love with a woman who loves them. So she would have said your husband was wrong.

[@AussieGirl235]

@@9395gbEverything the woman in this video said is fahkd

[@purphoodiie]

I had a seizure trying to read this

[@chocolatesugar4434]

This is the reality. It’s usually the woman who ends up at a huge loss in divorce. This relationship “expert” seems to have a biased and narrow perspective. Women are expected to now work on their career so they’re not in need of finance support and go 50/50, be a traditional mother and wife and look like a cheerful upbeat 25yr old for life to keep her man satisfied! It’s as if ppl like this “expert” doesn’t see women as human beings.

[@chocolatesugar4434]

30:07 duty and obligation…hmmm wow wow I hope she’s talking to men.

[@anitasmith574]

Sadia has just answered all of my questions and solved the long term confusion about my past relationships. WOW! Does she have a book published on this? If so, it would be timeless - a classic. This information is worth millions! I will listen to this podcast over and over again!

[@P3RCUHSET]

No cap I was flabbergasted 😊

[@Kimmaykin]

I have a very successful marriage so far ( been together 9 years and married for 7 years) for the Topic on why get married at all or get married after kids, well I did it just cause (like Mark said its the next step) and to have important things in our names together and work as a team to make a better future for our family. I view it as a way to better ourselves but also to show him that I’am committed to him and that I love him, im truly lucky to have the man who treats me the way i want to be treated. With love and respect ❤️

[@ryanmalone2681]

She’s saying that her content is not focused at all on her appearance and finds it strange so many people comment on her appearance. Lady, you’re wearing a skin tight body suit. You’re a bit simple. Everything she said is so obvious but everyone here is reacting like she’s an Oracle. 🤦‍♂️

[@Gram820]

My thoughts exactly!!

[@junopierre2988]

She could tie her hair back and wear baggy clothes. I work with mostly men and always fully covered. No tight and low cut tops barley any makeup. Because they’re all taken and I’m in a professional work space

[@saphire9823]

And her sweeping generalizations that aren't based on fact whatsoever. Just personal opinion and what lends to her particular audience

[@junopierre2988]

@@saphire9823 she basically said women who like sex have been abused and traumatized. It’s weird lol so women can’t like sex? And all men are sexual tyrants?

[@iqrafarid3318]

You sound like the type of hater she talks about in the video. Her beauty probably intimidates you in some way, you should ask yourself are you feeling possibly jealous?

[@kdeloris2225]

Thank you for this interview Mark the things Sadia said about women being competitive with each other is right. I would also like to thank you for reminding us to take care of our mental health.

[@ArmandoTarziu]

Tia Power Im convinced we truly live the end times, and that is not much till we will hear about the sunday decret! As the Catolic church, ran the inquisition in the midle eve, so it will be în these last times, with al who will want to live only to a 100 % "stays writen", especilay the true sabat (4th comandmnt in the ten laws, Exodus 20:8)! I recomand you get a book caled The great controversy by Ellen White! It depicts the war betwen good and evil from Lucifers fall, till the very end, and in the last 100 pages youl find everything about the sunday decret, what we live, whats to come, pure undiluted truth, with amazing insights! Is a must read for everyone who is intrested that we live the end times, and how everything, is playing out! May God help us be sheeps and not goats in that day! God bless you and youre loved ones!

[@NosiLLa258]

Girl, I live in SLC, Utah, & we actually have the most plastic surgery here than anywhere in the country. If you're familiar with SLC, I'm sure you've heard of the Mormons... that culture is thick in Utah (thankfully less so on SLC more & more) & that culture is very concerned with "perfection". Don't get me wrong, Utah has some of the highest density of beautiful females in the country (from many travelers opinions) but the competition & caty bullshit that comes w/it is no good. When I moved to Seattle, I couldn't believe how genuinely kind females were up there.

[@barikitchens6383]

I think men and women all want is someone that we enjoy being with. Someone we can call our best friend and being sexually attracted to. That one person at the end of the day that we can call home. Feeling safe , comfortable and happy ❤

[@mv8908]

If men really wanted that then father abandonment wouldn't be such a common thing throughout human history..

[@showcase0525]

​@@mv8908 I'm missing the link between the original comment and your reply. Help me understand this please.

[@GottEddy]

​@@mv8908Who hurt you?

[@mv8908]

@@GottEddy who hurts the most? Men

[@GottEddy]

@@mv8908 You better check your privilege

[@kimberlytibbens7194]

This is gold. So many nuggets. I'm watching again and taking notes.

[@pierre-yvespitteloud3133]

I am quite impressed by the honesty that comes out of this interview, but even more so by how you were able to capture the picture that goes under the superficial skin. I don't always take the time to watch your videos, and I regret it, but they really deserve attention. I really admire your work and have great respect for the people who kindly agree to open up their intimacy through an interview with you. Well done, I hope you will have the energy to continue for the rest of us.

[@eileenormond8316]

I really appreciated your “pitch” for therapy, Mark. Most importantly, that you’re doing g this for yourself as well. You are experiencing vicarious trauma potentially every day in your work. You have a big heart and I’m so glad you’re taking good care of care of that. ❤

[@spoonfedspider]

This video is packed to the brim with an unprofessional amount of projection.

[@muchlikeyourself]

Facts that was corn dog city how she described relationship dynamics between men and women is how a high school boy sees the world

[@showcase0525]

The projection that is resonating with people's direct life experiences, and matching the cultural understanding? Has the definition or use changed recently?

[@thingsnstuff85]

Thank you Sadia so much for your perspective. It has so much relevance to my own life and experiences

[@KatherinePalms]

Yes i agree

[@Nikkiwhatarethose]

I agree there's a lot of unconscious bias spilling out

[@doorsheets2637]

These are my favorite types of videos you make. Keep them coming, Mark 🙏

[@ArmandoTarziu]

Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!

[@Dr.Momodu]

Ain't nothing like another morning watching another episode of Soft White Underbelly.

[@conniehanses]

Here Here...💙🌎

[@ArmandoTarziu]

Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!

[@TravisJansma]

It's sad that we're still having this discussion. It seems like common sense of how to treat people. Everybody get bored in a relationship. Put in the effort to get the passion back. You get out of a relationship what you put in.

[@d.sal.7634]

As the loneliest happily married man in America, I learn so much insightful information from all the comment community posted than the actual interview. You people out there help more than you know.

[@yappingbird7664]

Probably one of the best programs that demonstrates why human responsibility and a concern for others is so important. thank you.

[@dananana1104]

Such an interesting conversation. I don’t agree with everything she said, but that’s not the point - as usual your videos spark so many conversations. Thanks for sharing this Mark!

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@zhannulia]

I think she is speaking from experience of her clients who are wealthy men and women. Majority of women are in big disadvantage in marriage. Also women’s sisterhood is not fake. A lot of women suffered enough from men (not wealthy successful men) and they seek for support and get support from other women, bc they can’t trust men. Sadia is just living in a different world.

[@Krispea]

hard agree. i felt exactly the same.

[@ArcaneEiro]

Nah. She's right.

[@nandiphanondaba9251]

The sisterhood is likely to be true if the other women do not see you as a threath. A highly attractive woman find it hard to fit in the women sisterhood because women throw the girl code off the wondow if they see you as a threat. That's what she meant. If women dont see you as a threat/ you're unattractive they are likely to support you but attractive women are mostly not liked by women because they see them as threat. Attractive women are treated better by men than by women.

[@caseyrobbinssf2040]

I'm thinking the same thing. She has some real generalizations. It's almost gaslightig women that don't marry for money and woman that really love their female friends.

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She justifies child marriage btw and is NOT a real psychologist ‼️‼️ pls be wary guys

[@anacarpenter9254]

2024 Feminism for me is defined at last by the Psychologist Sadia Khan. Thank you. For years it was a blank space in my mind. This interview really spelt it out for me on so many levels. Much appreciated ❤😊❤. Retired woman with time to spare. At last.

[@tulipchic34]

In regards to divorce it depends on the circumstances. Women loose money having babies and not working. If a divorce happens she needs to be compensated for her unpaid labor. In Australia we have Superannuation which are employer contributions for retirement. Staying home or even working part-time effects this. So when the marriage ends she’s entitled to that. Statistics show that middle aged divorced women are more likely to become homeless

[@noahbrown4388]

Australia also has cohabitation laws where, even if there’s no marriage no children, the women is still untitled to alimony. Is that fair? 🤔 Until marriage laws are changed men will continue to walk away

[@tulipchic34]

@@noahbrown4388 I Australia it’s called spousal maintenance and generally only used until the other party has situated themselves financially. As I said. When a woman is earning less or not working because of the fact she is the main caregiver of their kids why should she be short changed?

[@Jdawn92]

They can live in a cheap apartment

[@tulipchic34]

@@Jdawn92 why? When she’s the one who will have a harder time getting herself financially on track AND has the majority of car for the kids they made together. Majority of men carry on, can buy a new place and have their kids every second weekend. Your funny

[@tulipchic34]

@@noahbrown4388 look. I worked on a family law office AND have friends who are divorced and I’m telling you now I never I came across a case where a woman wanted alimony (which we don’t have in Aus) if they weren’t married a no kids. I never came across it when they were married and do o have kids. Family matters in Australia work on the division of assets accumulated during the relationship. Usually it’s 50/50. And of course the individuals situations are taken into account when the binding agreement is being drawn up. In most cases these days both parties work and it’s becoming much more common that the woman out earns the man.

[@GRYDE2000]

Protect this woman at all cost. great message

[@stevevanleeuwen8815]

Ms. Khan, you are a truly amazing person. I am a 54 year old canadian male who has been working hard for three years to sort out my basket-case of emotions and thoughts. This video has helped me a lot, I actually feel better about myself for having watched it. It has encouraged me to keep up the work, I have wanted to quit many times and even regretted starting this journey. Thank You!

[@RobertMajor-jq2ke]

Been doing it for 6years I know what you mean bro it sucks

[@blainehillis1921]

*Mrs

[@Itzz.scarface]

This has become my favorite interview of all time.

[@JC-ls6fg]

If she actually calls herself a "practitioner psychologist", which includes clinical psychologist or counselling psychologist, in London she would be registered in the UK with the HCPC. I checked and she's not listed anywhere on the HCPC (UK) website. But if she just calls herself "psychologist", at least in the UK, you could have a grade 3 education and walk around saying herpy derpy durr without any registration necessary.

[@blajmonica]

She does not live in UK anymore, she is based in Dubai. Check her there lol

[@mr.tellithowitisz]

That’s because she is not a real psychologist. Sharpe and F&F already exposed her. Back to the Figueroa streets she goes!

[@kaylahenderson2400]

ooouhh where did sharpe say that at? podcast?@@mr.tellithowitisz

[@frankgallo2946]

It happens often in the US. Everyone is a dang doctor without the experience and degree. Big time red flag 🚩

[@Amiyah2love]

@@mr.tellithowitiszwho is sharp f&f ?

[@WhensdayAddams]

Thought I was hearing a lot of things that actively conflict with the information I’ve gotten from licensed psychologists and in my own field as a sociologist. Turns out she’s a “life coach” that calls herself a psychologist. Explains a lot! If you’re going to have someone spew out hot air for an hour, you could at least be honest about it. This person has no business giving anyone advice with the label of psychologist.

[@kristinahaley7624]

Absolutely, there was a lot of personal opinion and misogyny in this video

[@femiidowu794]

This interview was so on point. In just 1hour of interviewing, the talk has unveiled so many relationship insights that would have taken years of learning through trial and error, to acquire. Understanding the dynamic of polarity and attraction between men and women, Understanding our Patterns (ie): of selection , or of relating to others, such as the ways in which the inflated Ego blindsides us, etc. In addition, there was a brief discussion about the unconscious agendas that operate within relationship (ie): how people enter relationships with an element of agenda in mind, whether positive or unhealthy agenda's and how it is important to be mindful of this. There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this interview for the discerning viewer. It is definitely worth the investment of time.

[@garybell2675]

This was very informative. Some harsh truths but necessary. Thank you

[@aeronation7465]

"Psychologist" while Sadia touches upon psychological concepts (briefly) she does not speak like an academic as she posits anecdotal examples to make her points with little evidence. Please take caution when listening to such 'content creators' and use your critical faculties.

[@mr.tellithowitisz]

Yup. She’s a fake 304. Anyone who actually reads real psychology such as psychologist Jordan Peterson can see right through her. I’d listen to any other scholar before this hypothesized “psychologist”. Her persona doesn’t shout “intellectual “ at all.

[@Cynthiabecker24]

Agree. Saying one's a psychologist doesn't make it true. She is just a content creator, posing as one.

[@tiffanyapril5458]

She is NOT a real psychologist. Should be reported if she is claiming to be one. They don’t speak in extremes like her. Pls be wary of this woman she justifies child marriage ‼️

[@annastone5624]

Totally agree!! This is more influencer level of insight. There are thousands passing around similar not particularly insightful or deep information.

[@abarrister1506]

I agree, but academics just push meaningless word salad.

[@m.r.3925]

Secondary trauma is real for those in the helping professions or for anyone there for those dealing with chronic traumatic exposure. I'm glad you're speaking with a therapist.

[@paulb7207]

trauma is for combat soldiers. You are just over sensitive. Bunch of narcissists using their "trauma" to get attention in society full of other identical narcissists with "trauma". Trauma is when your kid gets murdered and you are watching this and can't do anything. It isn't other adults expecting you to behave like an adult and you being unable to cope with that reality.

[@bliss4383]

Also called Vicarious Trauma, yes?

[@m.r.3925]

@bliss4383 vicarious trauma is more about the actual shift in world views that happens after witnessing trauma that happens to others (ex. "i guess since this happened, all people are bad"). Secondary trauma is witnessing the trauma experienced by others. I imagine in Mark's case, it may have started out as secondary, but gradually shifted to vicarious. As you can see, they are very similar (some argue they are the sane). And both shouldn't be ignored. ❤️

[@emmapniewski6323]

Did this conversation make anyone else feel uncomfortable? She spoke a lot about how women “need” a man to fulfill all their needs, where as men can watch p*rn to satisfy all the needs that a woman could satiate..also, “not buying into the whole feminism thing”? Feminism: the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. This is a dangerous belief for a highly educated woman with such a large platform to not support…

[@mar2406tube]

She is not highly educted. She is just a Dubai influencer

[@toddinthemiddle]

then don't cry when the toilet seat gets left up. like it should be.

[@keorata3313]

Exactly. Saying things like "women need men for survival because they couldn't hunt for themselves" There is a literal women-only village in Kenya thriving without men. When asked who benefits more from marriage, her answer is who benefits from divorce. Alimony is awarded in only about 10% of divorces.

[@malin5468]

I think she was speaking in terms of evolutionary biology. In pre-modern societies (much of the animal kingdom), a female needed a male in order to help raise her offspring. That help included protection and providing economic support. Even though she sounded off against feminism, I don’t think she is against women liberation and equal opportunities for women. I was a bit surprised about her stance on divorce-I think she forgot about the burden women usually bear to raise offspring.

[@Alexandra31T]

Yes, a lot of layered misogyny

[@JosiahLarnerdEck]

Thank you for your Insights on where our world is going!@

[@samueldevos7169]

So much generalization on so many points in this video. A lot of the questions and answers seemed to be coming from looking at the world through the lens of social media, online fora, the internet. I agree with the fact that people working as sex workers or in the sexual entertainment industry have often experienced abuse or could have a troubled past but the way the questions and answers to them are framed make it seems like everyone is hyper focused on looks and sexuality while this seems to be more prevelant online then in the wider world. I love this channel and it was very interesting hearing Miss' Khan's points it lacked nuance in my opinion.