A Psychologist's Thoughts On Love and Marriage-Orion Taraban, Psy.D. (Part 2)

Part 2 of a Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Orion Taraban, psychologist in the San Francisco Bay area. Orion's KZbin channel is / @psychacks .
Here’s a link to Orion’s first SWU video:
• A Psychologist's Thoug...
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#psychologist #mentalhealth #realstories #professional #sanfrancisco #softwhiteunderbelly #marklaita #softwhiteunderbelly #marklaita #portraitphotography

[@SoftWhiteUnderbelly]

My first video with Orion was probably a bit too triggering for some viewers, but this longer talk shows his incredible insights and understanding. I urge viewers who were upset by last week’s post to give this video a chance and see if Orion’s definition of love isn’t the best and most beautiful one you’ve ever heard.

[@stevenmorinello8522]

I’m watching it now Mark

[@Earl_TheSquirrel]

You didn’t need to comment this. Who cares if it was triggering. That’s life they will get over it. We love the content.

[@gol788]

I think it was you glazing him a bit too much

[@shadrachedwards1761]

I loved this definition of love from the first moment I heard it

[@christiane3334]

Much more INTERESTING than his first bit. Really enjoying it so far

[@timgutierrez2211]

This man is brilliant. He answers all the questions everybody is incapable of even knowing need to be asked.

[@Concojone5]

Exactly. Listen to him explaining what love is... based on his own introspection. Brilliant. (p.s. I don't think I agree with everything he says, but he is making me think. For instance, I suspect there's a relation between his calculatedness and lack of luck in relationships)

[@huvvy]

Fuckin a right man an educated man that says things in lamen terms

[@BeingBetter]

Yes please have Orion Taraban back on. I just finished part two. It's one of the best interviews I've ever seen.

[@darkvalkyrie5366]

Ok, Pickmesha.

[@JacksTracks-jw5mv]

None of what he says is accurate, though. He’s a clown.

[@mightymatt8548]

Hurt feeling there Jackie boy 😂

[@mr.t993]

@@darkvalkyrie5366 I love it when people start with ad hominem attacks you know they lost the argument. Because if they would have something better to say they would have.

[@carolgonsoulin]

When I was young in my 20’s 30’s and 40’s I put a value on everything I did at work and in my marriage. Now that I am in my 60’s I have come to realize how much it is an honor to perform Acts of Service for others. There will never be a paycheck for household domestic work; for cooking, doing laundry, vacuuming, cleaning toilets etc.. For many this “lowliest work of all” falls to women primarily. It’s easy to resent having to do this work and feel undervalued, unless a person feels inward value and pride in being a servant to those we love more than anything in this world. I used to think I was too good to do these things but now I am proud to be the good caregiver, the rock of the family. It’s a joy.

[@stagebloq6002]

Those are values you pass down to your children regardless of whether they are male or female. If you think you’re too good for them so will your kids. They’re watching you.

[@sarahevans3622]

You found the true meaning of love- giving while expecting nothing in return.

[@mikha007]

he who wants to be greatest, let him be the servant of all....Yeshua our messiah (Jesus)

[@lindafuentes5152]

I could listen to this man speak for years and never get tired of it ! Wow!!!!

[@SanDiegoisnice]

I wish Mark would have asked him the usual personal questions - childhood, parents, romantic history, career path. Would be fascinating to see how his life has shaped his beliefs, and how he walks the talk

[@jasonolinger7585]

He is a licensed psychologist so i'm sure real life interactions and learning about male and female nature nailed it.

[@DangRenBo]

In some of his videos, he talks about having unhealthy relationships in early adult life.

[@jasonolinger7585]

Yea he was normal person. @@DangRenBo

[@DangRenBo]

@@jasonolinger7585 Right. He's very open about his former mistakes and his growth. He seems very sincere.

[@kalankaneni]

In the "normal" sense he doesn't walk the talk because that's the poin,there is no walk,there is no normal,there are no rules.Especially in love...

[@Lo-fi_Hi-brow]

I glanced and clicked on Part 1 thinking that it read "A Psychopath's Thoughts on Love..." (because it's Soft White🤷). I was listening thinking, "Wow, this psycho has more wisdom and insight than a psychologist."

[@michaelshannon9169]

Psychopaths often have the highest understanding of women, why do you think they are so successful with women??

[@fairysnuff-000]

😂 me too…. Exactly

[@Shenanigans_Afoot]

😂😂😂

[@manuelakalinkarosa3520]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@urteruddy8205]

💀🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@shannonsollman3509]

Recently I have been dating a new man. I myself am a full-time caregiver to my handicapped child from her birth. I was shocked to hear him say, love is a sacrifice. I rarely meet a Man, whom understands that love is a sacrifice and he completely respects me for caring for my daughter, for the past 22 years. I meet few men that understand what love is actually. The fact he finds my work, as a caregiver admirable and respects it, it speaks volumes for him and his understanding of what love is.

[@radhi8063]

This two part Interview is, without a doubt, one of the best interview that I have ever watched in my life! So much wisdom... Thank you!

[@zsuzsannamolnar1329]

I feel the same way! Oh yes! Best interview and so much wisdom as you said it!

[@motheobokaba]

Absolutely life changing. I have never questioned so much about myself like I did in these 3-4 hours.

[@lanacrystal8147]

Agree 😂😂 It’s fucking gold

[@jennifercallens9872]

100%

[@motocrossman18]

"The more she likes you, the greater the discount" just plain truth.

[@nicolem889]

It's a lie. If she wants to have sex with the man, why wouldn't she? If she doesnt want sex with the man, she's trying to like him to make up for her lack of desire.

[@big_red_machine3547]

Absolutely. And she breaks all the bedroom rules for the certain top 1% of guys for free- and makes you wait until after the cash and prizes for the birthday B-job once a year

[@stagebloq6002]

I’ve seen it. It’s the truth.

[@blacknerdtalks7921]

👏🏿👏🏿

[@leneo1731]

Why not rather say the more she likes you, the higher is the gain, win or whatever word? Also this isn't brain surgery. The more I fancy someone, the more willing am I to make that person happy. You didn't need a psychologist to tell you that. I hope the same goes for you. When you truly like someone, you want them to be happy. This guy is making plain sense into something so intricate and deep that many struggle to find meaning behind his words.

[@Melissao-lk1dr]

Yes love is a sacrifice!! I sacrificed 28 years for love only to end up devastated and alone and feeling unloved😢 Great interview!!! Today is our 28th anniversary going thru a vicious divorce This interview stopped my tears today it really made me look at love in a totally different way

[@Liz-uj2ot]

I commend your strength and hope your tears turn to smiles! :)

[@luismaldonado4989]

Anybody can come here and say their side with no problem knowing we won’t ask the other party for their side. The truth is it takes two. You may be the “victim” but you could be lying too.

[@Melissao-lk1dr]

@luismaldona but why lie??? No reason!!!

[@jesseray6340]

@@Melissao-lk1dr why lie it is the Internet everyone has access now to the Internet now if it was the year 2000 and the only the people who had money could access the Internet make it worse than yes, most people then worked telling the truth not now.

[@Hatouken]

​@@luismaldonado4989Well said man, people always seem to forget about that thumb of rule when hearing out on one side stories. Have to hear both sides of them and then you turly can hear where the flaws and faults lay on BOTH sides. How can anyone learn from experience even if your dealing with a narcissist? Obviously there were signs being ignored early on but didnt have the knowledge on how yo deal or avoid that type of situation. Always something to learn off others and most importantly yourself.

[@learncadadia7832]

41:24: "That woman was getting paid 10,000.00/Hr. to do laundry (based on her BF paying all of the bills + laundry taking roughly 2 hours a month) but she decided that doing laundry was too low value for her." Perspective.

[@Arcamea]

That's how dumb the modern woman is these days. And sadly more and more woman are becoming like this. Overlooking simple things in life/relationships all because they think they deserve better or more. When in reality they don't have anything to offer in terms of usefulness.

[@stephenschenider4007]

Women are holes to use. Never get attached.

[@stevehuffaker1885]

"Some women can be attractive in their forties and beyond but that is not the norm." Brutal.

[@shaylaster1607]

But it’s true- I’m 42- I’m pretty much non existent even to my husband - sad - and no I’m not over weight

[@KeyaCares]

@@shaylaster1607Hi love! Being older doesn’t make a woman undesirable. Are you fun? Do you make time for yourself? Are you unpredictable? Do you wear your hair and clothes the way that makes you feel most sexy? Do you have passions and hobbies that bring you joy? A lot of women get stuck in mom mode and lose who they are at their core. I promise you if you tap in with your authentic self and pursue your passion, and learn the art of mystery, your husband will be worshipping the ground you walk on. It’s your love of self and zest for life that brings the boys to the yard babes. Get your own personal sexy back ☺️

[@seth1500]

​@@KeyaCareshow stupid are you?

[@tranquility9325]

​@@KeyaCaresunless her husband is a narcissist.

[@mikha007]

@@shaylaster1607 maybe if you put on weight he would see you

[@shornandkenny]

Uploaded this on Valentine's day. He he he. Happy Valentine's day everyone!!❤

[@GuineaPigReviews]

Lol didn't even think of that. Good call. 😊

[@heavenlydays2838]

A crystal clear day at 60 degrees. Just walking the Dog. Peacefully contented. It is a matter of DANGER with todays Traumatically damaged personalities. A hard connection. In to HELL.

[@adrianchadwick9524]

😂

[@nikeisagreekgoddess4135]

I've been waiting for part 2 so much, I didn't see how obvious it was that it would be dropped today 🤣

[@kurtvanluven9351]

& you as well

[@thinman8621]

This just might be the most informative article/book/video I have seen on men and women and how we are together. Very hopeful. Through better understanding of our natures we can make better life choices. Mr. Taraban is obviously very intelligent and well educated but he has a well developed use of voice and gesture to get across well formulated thoughts. Impressive display. Thank you.

[@learncadadia7832]

Listening to the Doc reference all of these books throughout the interview, reiterates why it's so necessary to read.

[@thepragmatist]

"Love is an invitation to self transcendence." Completely agree.

[@leneo1731]

You obviously understood that sentence. Could you please explain it like you would explain to a child? I'm Norwegian and struggling with some language barriers.

[@craigslist6988]

​@@leneo1731keep in mind it might not be a language barrier, what he's saying is nonsense. Might just not make any sense to people who aren't a product of America...

[@thepragmatist]

@@leneo1731 Yes. I can explain my interpretation of this sentence. To truly love someone, you must be vulnerable and, therefore, risk being hurt. It is truly a risk to love someone but it's also where true change occurs. Everything else is simply transactional. If you opt for a transactional relationship, that's fine. But you also give up the possibly of truly loving someone. Many opt for the transactional relationship because there's less risk. But in going for the safer bet, they also give up the opportunity for transcendence. Keep your heart open but also be wise to whom you give your love to. All the best to you!

[@thepragmatist]

True love is the highest vibration here on earth. We should all give and receive unconditional love but, unfortunately, that doesn't happen for a variety of reasons and a lot of pain and suffering has occurred because of people's selfishness.

[@stagebloq6002]

⁠@@thepragmatisthe didn’t mean spiritual transcendence, but if you’re spiritual or religious you could interpret it that way. It just means growing beyond the position of the self-a state of emotional vulnerability where you seek to take care of others.

[@fatimasg1]

This was thee absolute most perfect thing for me to have watched this morning on Valentine’s Day. This was so eye opening to me for the situation I am currently in. He may have saved my relationship. His words have allowed me to see certain things in a different light. He is very knowledgeable.

[@tiffanybazemore3058]

OMG SAME!!!!!! ❤

[@wisdomandy9361]

Glad you caught this. Head on over to his channel and absorb the knowledge 👍

[@markceci9896]

He lost me when he said he could get all of the same things without marriage. But one can't have a real family and an opportunity to do something with meaning. Women pursue men of means for stuff, status,,etc.. Men want lots of variable sexual opportunities. None of this actually creates meaningful lives for either, IMO.

[@markdatheist9179]

​@@markceci9896​ This just shows your inability to listen. What he said was that there is nothing in the PRESENT DAY that the civil institution of marriage (meaning the contract with the Government) provides to a man, that he can't get without it, at much much less risk. This is pure truth. And yes, a man can have a "real" family if he chooses to have children with a woman of principle, whether he signs his autonomy away to the government via civil marriage or not. Signing that particular civil contract changes 0 of his prospects, but incurres him a mountain of liabilities. Please listen to what the man says before criticizing a strawman.

[@EllaBella-76]

@@markceci9896•No that Toxic Women or Toxic Girls .Toxic Men .Listen to it again, please it’s not a financial transaction or something that should drain your brain and body and soul its vulnerability ,trust I listened to the sex podcast?I sincerely hope I have raised my nearly 15 Year Old Son to be better than view any woman as arm candy ?We can all walk the walk talk the talk and give a glossy CV with the important bits missing I am seriously not wanting or hunting anyone someone on a podcast told me I should not be on the “Market as a single Parent?”Why on earth he even jumped to the conclusion that I am on the Market ?Nobody actually likes canceling plans no man or no woman and certainly no child (No child is a financial bargaining chip ?)No woman is ether on a market or man !Hopefully sounds like some sort of market stall where people bid for a woman or man .Personally it’s 2.38 am !I shall be needing a black coffee a new body and brain to cope with this ?

[@thinkforyourself7262]

Your definition of love brought a tear to my eyes. Thank you. Having five sons and realising what I have given up for them.

[@SKwoodsman]

His explanation of love was the best explanation i've ever heard. I totally agree.

[@robinscott6477]

His description of love reminds me if the love we have for our children and the process of letting them grow as they get older.

[@canelareina3795]

But as they get older we require them to do things. He said the highest form of love is not to require marriage or anything.

[@dietsodalite3716]

No he said it's to do what is best for them

[@millissentflemmings2216]

Interesting. I had the EXACT same thought. ☺️

[@katherinebates5740]

I agree his description of love in the first 10 min is beautiful and I agree that it describes the love I have experienced for my children

[@stagebloq6002]

@@canelareina3795she’s only partially correct. Love is giving of yourself but this comes in many forms compartmentalized to the person it’s offered to. There is a difference between the love of a partner, parent or aunt/uncle, grand parent or sibling. This type of love creates roles. Because men are designed to spread their genes are women are very tough customers to get past, It’s is why the logic of fathers is so important. He must pass down the secrets of his success to his kids that the mother won’t understand because she didn’t experience it. This is how he loves his kids. He must do this alone with his son so his son competitively Carrie’s on the line. He teaches and sends them off into nature because his blood stretches through time through this form Of his love.

[@silverfox8615]

The episodes with people that have it together are FAR more valuable to me than the train wrecks. They give hope. Thank you!

[@ccrider8483]

I agree. Seeing the train wrecks is like going to the freak show at a carnival or watching daytime reality TV. Personally, I don't have nuch time for the dumb and dumber subjects anymore.

[@Mira20153]

I'm not that convinced, that ppl, "who have it together" are not the "real train wrecks". They might only a little bit better in covering it... 😂 Also: this psychologist guy doesn't leave a good gut feeling with me - I would even go so far to have a kind of uneasy feeling towards him. As oposed for example, when I watch Rebecca. She can be a little exhausting at times in following all her thoughts, but I NEVER had any kind of uneasy gut feeling towards her, although she can be completely over the top.

[@J.Braxton]

100%

[@NickMart1985]

@@Mira20153 He tends to shatter a core myth within our society. That gut feeling is on you.

[@Mira20153]

@@NickMart1985 No. He gives me psychopath's vibes.

[@monetpetals86]

Part 2 puts a better taste in my mouth than part 1. Got some gems and laughs from both. I mean, some parts of what he said were like, damn… really, but I’m open to listen and glean what resonates and put the other information in my back pocket as one of the many slices of reality but not necessarily one I desire to emulate. All in all great video!

[@ssing7113]

And the medicine you need is usually quite bitter. Go back and listen to part one till you absorbs the info and accept reality

[@andi5852]

💯

[@andi5852]

⁠@@ssing7113true..

[@jasonu3741]

The timeline is something most people especially women dont understand Lets say we have a woman at 27 and a man at 29 meet -statistically dating for 2-3 years is best before engagement women is now 29 man is now 31 - 1 year of engagement and wedding planning woman is now 30 man is now 32 - 1 year of marriage before a child woman is now 31 man is now 33 - First child (pregnant 9 months of course) woman is now 32 man is now 34 - every Clinician will say you should wait atleast 18 months inbetween births - woman is now pregnant at 34 and the man is 36 - The woman gives birth at 35 the man is now 37 this is how you arrive at child birth rate of under 2.1 because the woman is now 35 and a doctor will not tell her to try again till she is 36-37 (18 months). This is the successful, well planned, married couple who only had 2 kids. now imagine a couple wanted 5 kids... when would they have had to start? 22-24, think about before modern medicine making conception past 35 a real possibility for the childs birth OR the mothers survival at birth. now remember replacement rate is 2.1 it is the minimum requirement which means for every 9 couples who has 2 kids the 10th couple must have 3 to keep that national average at the minimum, and that also means the 21 kids born from those 10 couples cannot have a birth defect that prevents having kids themselves, cannot die in there toddler years, teens, twenties, thirties or fourties and cannot choose not to have kids themselves, everything would have to be on the knifes edge for the population not to slip into complete decline.

[@RaheelRed]

Agreed

[@MrWizard121]

This is absolutely fascinating -- have shared this series with several friends and it has spurred some of the most incredible conversations. Thank you for delivering this content!

[@TheBroSplit]

I think that so many people have chosen the wrong lovers and paid dearly for it through pain and suffering that this is a breakthrough, breath of fresh air🎉

[@mitternachtsplausch9559]

That's life, man. Nothing to do with wrong choices. Stuff just happens.

[@TheBroSplit]

@@mitternachtsplausch9559 idk I can say happens once shame on you. Happens again shame on me.

[@kizmutyaba4965]

Alot of them purposely chose the worst choice.

[@TheBroSplit]

@kizmutyaba4965 we don't have free will so it's nit there fault

[@Ot-ej5gi]

I agree. If only people consciously knew about all these truths...

[@adityatyagi4009]

Love is ultimately a duty towards other human beings, animals, etc. It is not a selfish entitlement the way it has come to mean in modern society which values sense gratification, comfort, and entertainment above all else.

[@tonyhoffman3309]

such an astute observation of the social conditioning in so much cultural media and especially pervasive in the online "relationship advice" gurus space.

[@visicircle]

Yes, I think the guest speaker has based too many of his premises on the cultural norms of our contemporary society. Not everyone is playing by these rules.

[@KatJ3st]

Agreed

[@drbvo9578]

@@visicircle The exception does not make the rule. Maybe you are this exception and so am I, good for us. I still agree with 95% of what the guest is saying

[@timothyw7663]

I don't think of love as a 'duty'. I think of it as being freely given despite any potential adverse consequences.

[@shaylaster1607]

“ you respected the shit out of me” lmao

[@yovannymanuelrapozo8061]

I've watched this video 3 times in the past 7 days, THANKS Mark for letting this kind of information in your channel :) it bring SO much utility and further depth to this space.

[@donnag3478]

I'm watching it for the 4th time and sharing with my friends.

[@Viktoria-s]

Nothing ever made more sense to me.

[@angeladeprairie]

Mark, please don’t say things like, “That’s what most people want.” If that’s your opinion, then say, “I think…” before statements like that. You are not the expert.

[@enemy1134]

@@angeladeprairie Angela, please don't say things like, "You are not the expert." If that's your opinion, then say, "I think..." before statements like that. You are a hypocrite.

[@andi5852]

@@enemy1134very well played hahah

[@alexandrodl1371]

@@angeladeprairie Its implied. You see, men dont take 500 words to say what they can in 20. Like most women 😉

[@powerralley]

Just pure hard hitting, truth. This is the content I signed up for.

[@aileensanjoto1786]

Totally amazing! So much insight and wisdom. I loved the way he talks so eloquently not a single boring minute . Bring him back please !

[@rdcruick]

What an incredible interview (both parts). Definitely need to bring him back.

[@heatherh.197]

10 minutes in, and this man knows what's up. Part 1, too. Thank you!❤❤ my husband and children are going through cancer treatment with my husband. Thats love

[@canelareina3795]

Really,? Are you going to teach your daughters and grandaughters to secure commitment the way he advised in part one?

[@heatherh.197]

@@canelareina3795 give me your answer. You seem hot under the collar. I can handle the steam. Let's hear it

[@Strafeyy]

​@@canelareina3795There are a lot of unspoken rules in the world. "Take care of your man" is the best way to voice this.

[@leneo1731]

You left yourself out, you're going through it also. You and your husband obviously raised a good family. What you invested you now get back. I wish you all the best and hope your husband gets well.

[@heatherh.197]

@@leneo1731 thank you❤️

[@heatherroydiy]

I unapologetically effortlessly work to make my husband's life easier. He works full-time and provides for his family without ever complaining, he is the best father to our children and an amazing husband. I am proud to say he hasn't done a load of laundry in 28 years! I am grateful for our babies! We were teenage parents and he stayed and loved me and showed up in every way!

[@vincentharris7909]

💯! That’s so beautiful!

[@J.Braxton]

Very happy for you both. So rare today

[@beetdiggingcougar]

Meanwhile that woman had it all for free but didn't want to help with half the laundry. She's probably wondering where all the good men are.

[@adonaimakhofola2696]

that is so beautiful I'm so happy you and your husband are fulfilled in each other, and your children have a healthy perception of what a loving couple looks like.

[@duraace2053]

But are you being the sluttiest freakiest version of yourself in bed! Don't forget that part too.

[@davidp7478]

A lot of people are "doing the right thing with the wrong person". There's a nugget.

[@kimmikosi]

Incredible. You had me at Part 1, which was raw, honest, and truly fascinating. Thank you Mark for all you do.

[@Ajane26]

My favorite interview on this channel! I think we can all benefit greatly from this man’s perspective and advice:) bring him back!

[@joshuabaker67]

I’m so glad you gave him time to talk on this channel. I spent all day yesterday listening to his channel and learned a lot of great stuff. Thanks, guys.

[@svjnico]

Orion has played a part in my improvement journey for the past 2 years . My mind is immortal now .

[@ShogunateDaimyo]

I REALLY appreciate the time spent to convey this information. For better or worse it is an education men young and old alike need.

[@melissaann6726]

What an interview! This and the one with James Sexton are so incredibly insightful.

[@nataliaguzman7958]

I couldn’t agree more!

[@kalankaneni]

Yes,these two see the truth whether people like it or not

[@joshb6993]

Life changing content. I'm learning so much from both of those gentlemen.

[@JeffToff]

I follow Orion's channel and admire his work, but I think that some of his insights are more developed and profound than others. I hope he keeps an open mind and keeps learning. I'll be interested to see how his ideas evolve over time.

[@larryrobx]

Same here, Jeff. I've been listening to Dr. Taraban's daily short talks on his PsycHacks channel for 2+ years now, all the way back to when he had just a handful of followers. He clearly delights in his contrarian views, which are always well reasoned, crisply explained with witty analogies, and masterfully presented (by the ex-thespian that he is).

[@brianmeen2158]

Be interesting where this space goes in say 5 years as there’s only so Much to talk about..?

[@EffectiveMuscle]

@brianmeen2158 as long as there are people to interact with, there will always be relationships and relationship problems. Perhaps the majority of us will interact with obsequious AI friends and partners. But until then...

[@alexandrehaussmann5430]

@@larryrobx 1:04:32

[@seanbedingfield7564]

This whole thing reads like an autists trying to put a finger on love and horribly missing the mark. Only going to destroy relationships GG

[@andrew_aquino]

it's cool how mark was giddy about this video during the end, you can tell he really enjoyed it just as much as us the audience views it

[@joelzuehlke2555]

Orion’s interviews on love are fascinating, eerily relatable, and a fearless bite into the core of our social underpinnings. I appreciate Orion’s unapologetic sketch that reveals gems of interesting truths, but as with any general brushstroke there’s lots of complexities that are left colorless.

[@fhowland]

The first video wasn't triggering, it was excellent. Orion simply tells it like it is. Not everyone can handle reality on reality's terms.

[@kwilliams1958]

Exactly...

[@milicamarshastefanovich3312]

The triggered folks can’t handle the hard truth.

[@aprilh8737]

exactly.. only triggering for the normies..

[@higgaroc]

I didn’t find it triggering but I am wondering why this this person’s take on things is supposed to be “reality”. It’s just one guy’s experience.

[@fhowland]

@@higgaroc you mean a doctor who’s spent his whole life studying the subject?

[@roland1912]

These two recordings are both cutting and incredibly insightful, and it sort of reinforces some conclusions I've made in the past.... We're a totally broken species, and this modern digital world we're living in is not only making it worse, it's making it impossible to recover from.

[@ryanperkins7207]

Very well stated

[@user-lj9hv3zz9u]

Awn mamma 🙏 blame the breeders 😂

[@joshuarodgers4244]

I’ve watched both parts twice!! So much wisdom and insight.

[@gingerbee1251]

I think so too😊

[@asjordan0yt]

The articulation of love in this video is unrivaled and excellent.

[@robertwithrow2900]

Haven't seen the first interview yet but am hungering to go watch it! Orion seems extremely intelligent and insightful! This interview was simply amazing!

[@normanmacfarlane6724]

This is a real eye opener. This has taken the blinkers right off. In a way frightening but chock full of wisdom. Brilliant

[@Strafeyy]

Welcome to the red pill

[@Headsup9550]

Blinders, not blinkers

[@catcat9582]

This is one man's OPINION

[@motheobokaba]

Took the words right out of my mouth. I'm still stuck on what I heard in Pt.1

[@ParisTNT]

Amazing talks (watched both parts). My favs as well. Learned so much. Yes please, Mark, make Orion a regular ♥️🙏🏻

[@dmonvisigoth1651]

I am somewhat surprised to see so many women agreeing with what he's saying. My initial thoughts were that a lot of gals would accuse him of being sexist, or maybe I just have a lot of feminist friends lol.

[@ParisTNT]

@@dmonvisigoth1651I understand what you mean. I guess when someone speaks the truth, it feels liberating no matter what gender we are :)

[@candicesd1839]

these two videos were game changers! i literally took notes! thank you for these!! ❤

[@CheSmith74]

Best three hours I've spent in a long time. Thank You Gentlemen

[@AdamNoNo-vo3kk]

3 hours?

[@francinepare4247]

I wish to add, as a single woman who is on dating Apps a lot, when a man compliments me about my appearance, I will always thank him. That would be my first reply. I get a lot of compliments. I am 59 years old. I often go out with men 10 years younger than me. While I don’t particularly seek a relationship with a much younger man neither will I close myself off to going out with a younger man. And you never know…Everything Orion talks about makes perfect sense to me. I appreciate his insights and perspective so much. His definition of love is beautiful and true . I listened to this interview twice.

[@GrubKiller436]

It's always the older women like you who can admit the truth. Women like attention, validation, and sex. A lot. That's the truth. I don't know what's going on with the new kids nowadays.

[@calbar8793]

@GrubKiller436 My theory is the young women are surrrounded by all those means of attention and validation and like Orion said, that is their “sex” when metaphored to men. So their needs, along with the financial support needs from family and government lead them “astray” (read: their future self astray) to when they become depressed because they are aged with no one to love or be loved by

[@latinaalma1947]

I am an older woman 76. I have no difficulty attracting men in my age group...I kept fit and look attractive. But more importantly I am interesting to men Im a retired professor of clinical psychology. I was alone for as long as I needed to mourn my mate of 41 years dying...now I have another lovely man in my life. Age is not a barrier unless we let it be.

[@calbar8793]

@@latinaalma1947 Hate to break it to ya but you’re 76 - there’s no clock for you to have kids or put on the weight that you already have on. Age is absolutely a barrier - total survivorship bias and social relative social irrelvance in life stage.

[@latinaalma1947]

@@calbar8793 I am with a multimillionaire...he is my age. He worked hard to meet me...researched who my friends were and asked a mutual male friend to set up an introduction at a group dinner...He chased me, I didnt chase him. Everywhere I went, there he was and making a beeline to sit with me to talk in the "getting to know me phase".Several other men I had dates with I decided werent the right personality or intelligence level for me. I wasnt asking THEM out. These are men my age . Not sure why you think this is impossible but I have zero reason to lie. Men my age usually have had and raised their kids long ago, just as I did my two. Not alot of guys in their 70s WANT more children...they dont want babies! They want a fit attractive intelligent caring woman around their age. I still have guys my age who KNOW I am with this man as a partner now asking me out, one just 2 days ago. No thanks...this other man seems like a nice guy but this man I have is a keeper, no need to keep looking. Life can be fun at any age...alot depends on your health and attitude. No one wants to be around disagreeable people of any age. And many mature men are not interested in a relationship with 20 somethings...If men werent attracted to me why would they be asking me out? Im 5ft 4in and weigh 118 lbs...not every woman has a weight problem and not every 76yo woman is ugly and haggard to men HER age!

[@RT-mn2pb]

Fabulous interview, fabulous guest. He brings a wonderful combination of down to earth communications style with insightful experience. Terrific. By all means please have him back again.

[@lanctermann7261]

This guy is a truly epic combination of eloquence, insight and lucidity I have yet to hear any equal to in 63 years on this earth.

[@camiladeoliveira8767]

As I immerse myself in his captivating discourse on love, my mind inevitably gravitates towards the most profound embodiment of this emotion in my life: my children. Their laughter, their innocence, their unwavering affection-they are the living testament to the boundless depths of love. Every word he utters resonates with the echoes of their voices, reminding me that love, in its purest essence, is not merely a concept to be understood but a tangible presence to be cherished and nurtured.

[@madderlakevideoproductions4560]

35:18 How does this quote make you think of your children?

[@stagebloq6002]

@@madderlakevideoproductions4560because unconditional love for women more than likely will go to children. The man can be loved (to a degree) once he lives up to his burden of performance. These are things they don’t teach young men. The burden of man is that you will never be as loved as women or children unless you gain some level of status.

[@calbar8793]

Let me sum up your bombastic pseudo-poetry there: you are a woman, thus capable of maternal instinct and you put a bunch of flowery talk around that point. Nothing you said transcended yourself as a woman or person, it was not profound and has been here since the dawn of time

[@dreamdiction]

@@stagebloq6002 Unconditional love is for children, not adults.

[@stagebloq6002]

@@dreamdiction the tier for conditions in love goes as follows: Children> Women > Men. We have the least conditions for love with children, but there might be some conditions involving a troublesome heart or threat to family. Men will be loved on a level of status, relationship or otherwise. The love he gathers goes hand-in-hand with his ability to be respected. Similarly to how women can gather affinity to children, women can gather the same from men (just sexually). If the man proves himself useful, then by conceding to using his gifts and wanting him to remain around will she reciprocate.

[@mightystonewallfarmsllc5539]

I been with the same person for 20 years .. the balance of the adored can change over time

[@tonyhoffman3309]

Exactly! In healthy relationships, both parties are both the adored and the adorer, and practice both.

[@craigslist6988]

he's a failure and doesn't understand the first thing about a relationship (because he can't do one). Thinking there's such a thing as simple imbalance in relationships is a great way to put a landmine under it. What an (opposite of intelligence). You cannot do accounting in a relationship, unless all there is to it is trading (which to be fair is exactly the nonsense he spews later), in which case you're in a weird prostitute situation not a relationship.

[@Silvermoonscorpion]

Agreed. I watched part 1 & honestly, thankfully his views simply do not match my life and marriage.. 20 years and nothing this guy says reflects our experience. Scary actually.. the way he explains his perspectives. I'd stay single.

[@1989Mordwin]

@@Silvermoonscorpion If you've been married for 20 years, that is before facebook(social media) came out. Young women's emotional stimulation needs have increased a lot since then.

[@MichaelDrew-km3bt]

@@Silvermoonscorpion scrolling through comments and wondering where to leave mine... landed here. He probably rubs people up the wrong way because he puts his opinions forwards as truth. I'm sure there is a ton of truth for some people in this interview, but thankfully, I just feel as though I live in a different world to him and all the people that see so much sense in what he says. It's fascinating, but ultimately, I can pick a lot of it apart, and just like you, I thank my lucky stars that my experiences and relationships are so different to those that he describes!

[@cristiefrost6970]

The issues that my boyfriend and I go through have all been touched on with the first two of Orions interviews. I want to thank the two of you together for shedding light on what I did not understand until now

[@user-jj3vs9vc4p]

@Orion Taraban your 2 interviews with Mark are 2 of the most articulate and compelling pieces of content I have absorbed. Wow just wow. It all makes sense and we would all be better to know this information so we can approach interpersonal relationships with a bit more strategy and just a basic understanding of why we are compelled to make the decisions we do. It would perhaps create a world where we are less emotionally affected and could look at things from a pragmatic perspective. I am so incredibly impressed. @Mark -great find! Another fantastic interview. Thank you

[@MK-Hogan]

Watch the one with the divorce lawyer. It’s even more insightful and eye opening.

[@rctecopyright]

This info is tough for a lot of people. Some of the comments read like hit dogs hollering. Happy Valentine's Day folks!

[@canelareina3795]

I wish those that agree would argue why he is right, instead of pretending that those that disagree are triggered and in denile.of the truth. Mahbe you wish women would sling their goodies on you ASAP, but do you want your little sister and daughters to give it up fast and free? A great way to end up run-through and emotionally damaged, no?

[@alndi3]

@@canelareina3795 nowhere in this interview did he suggest women should give it up fast and free. do you think men should buy women cars, gifts and give tons of affection fast and free? i think you missed the point.

[@torachan23]

​@@canelareina3795 you're too retarded to have an opinion on things you don't understand

[@liabw05]

@@alndi3In pt. 1 he did so 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Hollowed2wiz]

@@canelareina3795 You argue in such bad faith, it's not even funny. Thanks @alndi3 to summarize the obvious for you.

[@Lindy.T]

Brilliant! Thanks so much for having Orion the Philosopher back on. He has colorful views of the patchwork we call "love".

[@mariaagmezj8424]

Outstanding interview 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻he was straightforward, real and honest about some hard truths some people can’t swallow.

[@screenplay78de]

Great interview! Painful and eye opening at the same time. Now I understand my last relationships much better! Watched it twice! Thank you so much!

[@joshb6993]

I really wish I'd heard this in my early 20s. Oh well never too late to learn

[@vincegarcia8342]

This man is laying it on THICK. Getting a lot of people in their feelings lol. Great interview. The real shit. That’s the best. Even if the truth isn’t very comforting. That’s the real shit you need to take into consideration. Got a follow from me 🤙🏼

[@JM-pd6wz]

Wow! This two part series is informative, persuasive, and engaging. Orion’s brilliant insights could fill an entire galaxy!

[@judastheman]

Im with you on that. Probably one of my favorite guests so far. I love listening to smart people.

[@chloewagner8515]

This is by far one of the best guest you’ve had on SWUB and I just couldn’t get enough

[@YenPham_impact]

Didn't realize I walked into a sermon this morning. Preach!!! (He'd make a great pastor.)

[@Kobe29261]

Its exactly what I thought, no wonder he quotes so much from theologians!

[@celerinosalazar7136]

Thank you for bringing him to a second interview. Perfect timing for me.

[@yayabera]

I enjoyed both parts. Definitely opens up your mind from another perspective, and that’s why I watch this channel.

[@bevtalley]

Exactly! I stumbled across this channel months ago and it’s had me in a chokehold ever since!

[@tleigh8794]

ditto

[@ELvis348]

I’m a 40-something woman (scorned & optimistic) and this discussion is therapeutic for me down to the way he chooses (or simply expresses) his words judiciously and explains the thought process. He also has a great sense of humour! Yes, I think he’s a King at this moment

[@ELvis348]

“High hopes and low expectations” a common saying in a different context that also riddled me

[@nathaneal.murray]

Man, this interview blew my socks off hehe. Great interview.

[@timphillips8966]

I’ve watched many of Orion’s vids, but this two part series is his BEST yet and likewise for you, Mark. Well done to both of you

[@madderlakevideoproductions4560]

How this guy describes sex is concerning cause he’s literally describing porn. I have a feeling this guy was brought up in purity culture, has dealt with years of shame around sex and has now talked to enough dysfunctional people that he’s convinced himself “this is love”. It’s just mind boggling to have such a vivid description of love and then be like: “that’s hopeless and no one actually wants that so don’t be sacrificial with those you care about…just care about you”. I haven’t heard him talk once about men becoming more comfortable sharing emotions, becoming more emotionally intelligent, etc. Just “the sexual marketplace.” There’s no solutions, which is the key sign of a grifter; if they gave you the solution, you wouldn’t need them anymore.

[@thematriarchy2075]

Yes, nothing about how men are behind in the emotional departement, very typical of a patriarchal point of view.

[@madderlakevideoproductions4560]

@@thematriarchy2075exactly! It’s just patriarchy at work! Not everyone will be the king and so this content is just meant to keep men sad and coming back for more of his courses and “advice”

[@user-vx1up7ty7z]

He has many regarding how to be in tune with one's own emotions, as well as their partners', and how to navigate them. Searching for "emotion" on his channel, the top 2 videos are: "Emotions are NEVER IRRATIONAL: feelings are not always justified" and "Emotions are living things: How to understand your feelings better" Seems fairly encouraging towards emotional intelligence... Sometimes there is no solution. If 1/3 young men aren't having sex, it's not because they aren't "emotionally intelligent," it's because they aren't presenting themselves attractively. Because I'm sure we all know emotionally stunted men who can sleep around as they please, so clearly that's not the definitive factor in engaging with women sexually.

[@halasipipacs]

​@@thematriarchy2075amen. Particularly when he says if women were comfortable in finding joy in service, then they can get what they want. This works, but it works with manipulative women who are successful only when they are young and attractive, and emotionally retarded men.

[@jth_printed_designs]

Why is everybody always going on about men needing to be more emotional or share their emotions? I wanna ride motorcycles, build cars, make money, shoot guns, and f%*k. I don't get any enjoyment, fulfilment, or benefit from sharing emotions. Plus, if the emotion I'm feeling is "My d*^k isnt getting sucked enough," women aren't usually too thrilled about that emotion being shared. Also, anger is a perfectly valid emotion, but for some reason it's seen as a negative and we get a negative response when we share that emotion.

[@danielosmon]

Words can't describe the respect I have for this man. Ty for sharing

[@andy42x]

Please have this dude back. He's riveting and incredibly insightful.

[@evoz4489]

When we are just born we seek out the warmth of our mother and without our primary caregiver to give food, love, and shelter, we would not survive. This relationship is absolutely necessary for our ability to develop empathy and to more importantly, individuate from the mother. This is built in. As adults, if we have veered toward solitude, then question that. Something has interrupted what is natural.

[@marktapley7571]

There is another aspect that has to occur for the male child. Children become aware of being male or female at about two years old. At that point the male child must cross over from his mother to the male side. This is usually seen in young boys as they initially reject everything they perceive as of a female nature. This is one more reason why sons need the father in the home. With too much female influence or not enough male role model, this transition may not happen, which is a primary reason for male homosexuality.

[@eyhcci3895]

​@@marktapley7571yes exactly. It's imperative to have both male and female role models. That's why people should try their best to avoid resulting in single parent households. Normalise abortion if it is obvious the relationship is rocky and would not survive

[@helvetecaLLC]

Getting married is incredibly expensive and getting divorced costs even more.

[@AdamGoldswain]

No mention of granola or blow jobs in this one though.

[@DaveStephensEditor]

“Marriage is grand and divorce is a hundred grand.” said a prominent divorce lawyer.

[@tougeruzbay]

Nowadays you have to assess the risks of getting into a relationship let alone marriage

[@luvyatubers]

Don't forget kids and child support. The same lawmakers, who get richer off the failed Am Dreams, allow for people to become poorer and poorer

[@TheIronPath]

Fucking facts.

[@evsal69]

A lot of truth and wisdom in his videos. Thank you! Part 3 please?

[@BZendry]

Orion, wow, just wow! This two-parter was eye-opening on so many levels. This was so deep my adhd brain had to re-watch this multiple times. It made me realize my faults in my relationships. I had it all wrong for 50 years.

[@ssing7113]

Most do. Most do.. it’s called the spoon fed Disney fantasy

[@amandajofisk85]

Bloody genius. Everyone needs to hear these two talks.

[@donmota78999]

Dropped on Valentine’s Day

[@MichaelDrew-km3bt]

I watched the whole 2 and a half hours, and here's a few thoughts... 1. The longer I listened, the less I liked or agreed with this man. 2. The longer I listened, the more like Jordan Peterson he began to sound... setting up his version of the truth with book smarts and reading that are supposed to make you think that he's well researched, while actually leaving huge holes in his logic, basing his version of "the truth" on extremely flimsy premises, such as the idea and invention of romance being a chivalric thing. Or Greeks seeing romantic love as a madness. That's why we call it falling in love... duh, and have I told you about the lobsters??? 3. Honestly, a lot of what he says is just dripping with misogyny and based on conservative/outdated ideas of what is "good" and what is "bad" for society. 4. He doesn't mention the concepts of compatibility or companionship once. From his point of view, it's all about status, money and sex, and obviously for a lot of people it seems to be, but for a huge amount of other people, that just seems crass. It's not ppl denying The Hard Truth Of Life, it's just ppl living an entirely different, happier truth. 5. He talks about the women that left him when he was down on his luck as making huge errors of judgement in doing so, but maybe those errors were his in choosing the wrong women. They weren't wrong, he was wrong for trusting and choosing them. Other women can be trusted, especially the ones that don't seem to buy in to the same game as he believes everyone is playing. 6. He talks about coming from an unstable family home and that explains a lot... I think that there is a lot of truth for a lot of people out there in what he says, but honestly, they're the unlucky ones, there are vast swathes of people and couples and families out there that will simply not recognise the world the way he describes it. 7. We should not embrace his opinions as The Truth but strive for a better, more generous and more nuanced understanding of one another.

[@madslasher18]

You wrote all that just to simply say : YOU MISSED THE POINT

[@RoniRone6530]

You’re the only voice of reason in the entire comment thread. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@Leoo117]

Yeah, the doc has a very limited and depressing and inaccurate world view that holds him back from fulfilling relationships. He won't take responsibility for himself when it comes to relationships, which is why he can't learn anything past superficiality. He also focuses on toxic women and projects that behavior on all women.

[@cordovanbee]

Orion knocked it out of the park,Great Interview!! Thanks

[@lisamikulski4467]

I'm in recovery back in almost 4yrs. This podcast is good. Thanks 😊

[@Cheese_crackers]

lol that’s random thing to say . Why make your life revolve around your past.

[@Cheese_crackers]

Not only that but why do people who once struggled with addiction want everyone to clap for them and pat them on their backs for not fn up their lives. That’s wild. Welcome to the rest of the world where people take care of their shit. Congrats

[@EarthboundinAdrock]

Either you're ready to hear the message or you are not Thanks to you both!

[@wisdomandy9361]

Yep. This is how people skip red pill and faceplant into black pill. Some would be better off being ignorant forever. However those who do figure out uncomfortable truths need to remember it is what it is but all that matters is what you choose to do with the information. Spiral into hatred or use it as a navigation tool.

[@leviathon2]

Word!

[@Francesco_M.]

Unloading a whole truck full of thruths! Thank you Mr. Orion Taraban through the expectional work of the Soft White Underbelly YT channel!

[@theresarossouw1637]

Totally loved this interview. Would love to have him on again

[@conner.t4325]

Orion made me laugh more then many a comedian of recent times. Can say I was waiting for pt.2 with great anticipation

[@anFy81]

oh wow part 2 - amazing!

[@jeffreyrose686]

Loved every second, thank you guys! 🙏🏼

[@Blonde111]

This guy is correct about marriage being transactional … when my ex husband told me he didn’t believe in unconditional love, I knew we would not last. And we didn’t.

[@VIP-ry6vv]

The harder it is to hear, the more truth is behind the message.

[@minidom4713]

Facts 💯

[@anisenkrill6179]

Boom.

[@evaevaevaevaevaeva]

Such an interesting interview. The psychology, history and different cultural significances of love is absolutely fascinating ❤

[@Katet92]

This is such a great example of how you can know everything about a subject but actually know nothing about it bc it truly takes living in a happy relationship to know what it takes.

[@SteveSUX2BU]

Him saying love will change who you are. It is defeat, and you'll find it in despair. He just described having children.

[@sb75ification]

The advice given about men not having expectations with a woman past the current moment in time is priceless. 👍🏻

[@pumpkinface8151]

He has a very valid point at the end. I've dated many women who had nothing but "toxic and abusive ex's" in their dating history along with an impenetrable victim mentality. When I was younger I used to say to myself "awww these poor unfortunate women". When I got a little bit older I would say "are all of her ex's really toxic or is it her?". And now I say "why the hell was I attracted to these types of women in the first place?".

[@GrubKiller436]

Her exes may or may not be toxic. But the problem is that she chose them. We want to save people from broken families. But they're not savable.

[@dearbrave4183]

Is the male a predator by nature or is it her? That was essentially your question. What do you think happens to a person who has been repeatedly abused? Happy.and if she isn't she is the problem?

[@dearbrave4183]

​@@GrubKiller436no you don't want to save women, men just want to use women and then distance themselves from the responsibilities of their actions. This is why we have a video of a man telling women to keep choosing men and go at it again.

[@GrubKiller436]

@@dearbrave4183 What you are saying does not make sense.

[@dirtyace1668]

It's always a two-way street. The ex's may be toxic or not but it's her choice also, which means that maybe she wasn't really toxic to begin with but gradually, due to bad choices, has become toxic like her ex's. In any case, stay away from women like that, they deserve little pity, and same goes for men of similar ilk. Some people will look in the mirror and make the necessary hard changes and some will not. I think in my experience, most do not as they are too immature and weak to be critical of themselves. It's much easier to be a victim. In fact, stay away from any person that is of this type, unless they show you clearly that they deserve your respect and time. You do not have to publicly mock them, but internally, you do not need to respect them or give them any of your time. Move on and find people worth the effort.

[@JohnDienst-bw1eo]

This guy is spot on. Amazing. This is the best counsel I have ever heard. 100 percent on the money. Un real

[@Avoid_Low_Frequency]

As a 66 yr old woman I find I have the same issues as younger women in that in order to have options I am much more willing to do things as acts of service to a gentleman to have my needs met. What my needs are now are those you mentioned at 1 hour 30 minutes, attention, affection, intimacy, companionship, adventure, and masculine energy. I will gladly exchange a night of passion!!!

[@GrubKiller436]

Men don't need those things to such a degree. I think women need to learn how to focus on themselves and learn how to be self-sufficient. But I am glad you are honest. A lot of people here aren't honest.