Obsessive-Compulsive Clown interview-Steve

Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Steve AKA “Downtown Clown”, an obsessive-compulsive clown in Los Angeles.
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#ocd #obsessivecompulsivedisorder #losangeles #documentary #interview #marklaita #clowning #mentalhealthmatters #ocdawarenessweek

[@RyanPennington87]

Dude talked non stop for 90 minutes. I was captivated the whole time. Incredible.

[@EddyG0rdo]

Makes you realize how fast his mind spins

[@soob5856]

I didn't even realize how much time had passed. Insane story, man went through everything.

[@jacobsauce9882]

Some people really just wanna be listened to

[@42.zer0]

Lil sum called Cocaine

[@lysergic_visions3203]

Cocaine is one hell of a drug 🤣

[@poxene]

Watching Steve shed his "normal" clothes to don his clown attire and begin his physical transformation into a clown, while simultaneously shedding his mental guards to explain his transformation of life to us is a truly beautiful metaphor.

[@muaddib930]

True artist, dude is a legend!

[@X_Y_Z12345]

Fully agree. I love that Steve done that while sharing his struggles. It is almost poetic the way he describes his struggles, while turning into a clown to bring joy to others...

[@PROUDTOBEANAMERICAN55]

@Thomas Patrick Pearl roddy rich

[@Mr.Peanut1986]

Omg, you're right. That's awesome...

[@anotherslowtown9601]

@Thomas Patrick Pearl i need a cheeseburger just to eat. i'm talking ketchup, i need that mustard on a beat. you gotta add a lot of lettuce please; because i like to have a lot of greens. i remember eatin outside wid the whole team. now i gotta stay home cuz of quarantine

[@imamoviefanatic]

Steve: *tells story for 10 minutes straight* Mark: “That sounds exhausting” Steve: *talks for another 80 minutes straight*

[@brighl09]

Having OCD gives a very specific type of energy!

[@dyermker250]

Never before have I witnessed a human being with the energy and intensity of this man. Amazing.

[@Mr.Peanut1986]

Hahaha you got me with this one lol

[@mglenwright09]

that's what a FANTASTIC interviewer can do.

[@brennaspaulding1114]

@@dyermker250 watch the Frenchie interview !! Same type of charismatic chaos, she runs the whole interview with captivating storytelling and personality.

[@aimeepeahi]

hired him for my daughters birthday party and he was worth every dollar, great with the kids and really made the party a better experience for all of us. Thank u "Downtown Clown"

[@MFAGERBERG1212]

Does he have a book?

[@Krispykorean1122]

omg ive seen him on the freeway before

[@ILoveAnchovies334]

some people are also born as clowns. I know a few, they love dressing as clowns. Which bizarre because most ppl fear them.

[@abduleve8688]

LOOKS LIKE A REALLY WEIRD SCARY DUDE

[@Juli-ge4yp]

​@@Krispykorean1122 😁😆😅🤣😂

[@FishinWithAlan]

I’m never saying “I’m a bit OCD” ever again. Great job breaking the illness down and story telling Steve.

[@scottmatznick3140]

Good on you. I used to say that until I was at a program with a kid named Drew who had it as bad or worse than this guy. It absolutely destroyed his life by 17. People conflate habits with ocd, and it's really downplaying the effect of actual ocd by watering down the meaning.

[@Sebastian4775]

Can u tell me what he said about that ?

[@lennyface5540]

dude it literally sucks bro but i’m getting better

[@techiecreations]

@@Sebastian4775 It's not so much that Steve talked about that, but more so that the majority of people don't realize how horrific OCD actually is until they exposed to a testimony like Steve's. The casually saying the phrase "I'm a bit OCD" trivializes OCD as media portrays OCD as merely "organized, clean, and likes things in order" but it goes beyond that and is a serious mental illness.

[@pricklycatsss]

@@techiecreations People don't realize how bad most things are. All anyone cares about is themselves.

[@smilealwaysnatasha3423]

All the Gen Zs and Millennials that claim they have OCD need to watch this. Wanting your closet to color coordinate is not OCD.

[@haybale287]

I'm Gen Z with actual OCD, and I concur. It breaks my heart every time I hear someone say that they're "OCD".

[@logmaster27]

It IS an overused term and I agree but can’t there be levels of severity with OCD ranging from subclinical to extremely severe? I get it though. It’s a matter of respect and acknowledgement for individuals who truly struggle with an illness vs someone who is just particular about things.

[@ryanclark9386]

​@@logmaster27absolutely

[@Carson_Youtube21401]

OCD have different stages so they infact have OCD but it doesn’t get to this point

[@Carson_Youtube21401]

@@logmaster27yep OCD has different stages

[@Johnnydontgo]

“I’m a clown, everything’s good now, take care” I could listen to another six hours of Steve. Truly, what a treasure.

[@andyhanrahan]

I just loved how he wrapped that up at the end like that haha. Fascinating guy.

[@teamtoken]

I love this guy, he's just so cool on multiple levels. Shooting the shit with him over a few beers would be a memorable event

[@frenchibristianbok8847]

I wanna do shrooms sit and listen to him in person

[@be4stable]

hell yea @@frenchibristianbok8847

[@playingwithkash2134]

Dude lied about him and his step mom

[@annab8661]

This guy is totally gifted, he has explained OCD so vividly, I understand it better than I have ever understood it before

[@vss1187]

As a psychology major, this interview is golden!!!! I have never seen OCD explained in so much detail! I love listening to him !

[@demetricejohnson1898]

Me either

[@MixMastaCopyCat]

@@brettbordelon And I hope you enjoy taking cheap digs at internet strangers because you're miserable.

[@dantezijlstra]

@@brettbordelon Why do you feel the need to say this? Are you frustrated with how your own life is turning out? Because I can't really think of another good explanation.

[@leahcimolrac1477]

@@brettbordelon Lol no guarantee of low pay or high debt for this person. Universities are pretty corrupt. No doubt. Don’t project though.

[@michaeldadon7294]

@@brettbordelon ur a miserable pathetic person. i’d be to if my wife looked like yours

[@edgarmardueno3391]

I personally know Steve. He used to make balloons for me at a local dennys when I was a child. I’m now 31. Also, I used to do routine service on his little Miata when I worked at an auto shop. It’s crazy cause he is the most down to earth, funny guy who takes pride of what he does-making kids laugh. It’s crazy to hear his life story and think about all the things he went through. Man, I’m glad to see he’s doing good! . This guy doesn’t age!

[@joeicamelu8606]

None of this happened

[@eily_b]

@@joeicamelu8606 You don't exist

[@joeicamelu8606]

@@eily_b oh but I do

[@cameliawilliams6455]

That’s the guy from Dennys? I was super scared of clowns. I was always on the look out for that Miata. It was to the point if I saw it, I wasn’t going in.

[@sorenwyszpolski1420]

This comment made me realize that I have seen him on the freeway in Long Beach before. I even dug up the old video I took and could recognize him! He was in full clown costume and makeup driving a polka-dot Miata.

[@Sawyerco]

We NEED a part II. I could listen to this dude forever

[@mikeskywalk1240]

Totally disagree.

[@Ambidextroid]

How so?

[@serinabobina7146]

right??! i was listening in 1.5X speed and holy shit it was fast but i was engaged the whole time i need a part 2

[@artkid9279]

​@@mikeskywalk1240same here , he was interesting but very boring, I gaved up trying to hear his story half the video

[@Always0nline.]

real.

[@loudspeaker215]

as a person who suffers from OCD + INTRUSIVE thoughts this is now going to be the easiest vid to show people who don't understand how I'm explaining it. its the absolute worst when you get into a loop i always say its like a dog chasing its tail you can be just about there then you trip and have to start over again or you say this and by the time you do that you have to restart everything over again and its fucking exhausting mentally draining and over unhealthy but unfortunately its nothing compared to over problems like when you think about the really bad thoughts and then have panic attacks mixed in, i am so sure this is hard for most to understand but I'm very happy to have stumbled onto this video on my recommended. for those who also suffer with OCD thoughts and tendencies you're not alone.. I'm here with you and will be there to help and walk beside you the whole time.. thank you!

[@chewy2752]

Listening to someone else verbally explain stuff that has been happening in my head all my life makes me cry but also makes me feel so much less alone

[@Levi-xo9un]

Hey, I feel ya.

[@ProdFeen]

Same here, sounds like he's describing my exact experience with OCD. Really helps knowing you're not alone.

[@dollsanrio]

he explains it so well

[@irisrose4732]

Believe me, you're not alone.

[@afterthought3341]

does the 1-2 counting rather than 1-2-3-4-5 a common thing?@@ProdFeen

[@Bob86339]

We need another video of Steve. He's an amazing storyteller.

[@carlosbent5046]

Taught me something I didn't know or understand. Enought. ....wow breakdown material

[@Getithowyoulive863]

Well he is a clown 🤡

[@elisabethsalmon4107]

Took the words right outta my mouth!! He is so interesting...

[@SevenHunnid]

Im a regular hood dude doing food reviews on my KZbin channel :)

[@warwarneverchanges4937]

Very talanted

[@zbigniewsztobryn]

This is true piece of art. Steve telling his somewhat sad story making and painting himself into a clown. This is something truly special. Wow

[@jaxnebcharfski2863]

Truly; he’s a good dude.

[@Svartalfgeist]

It's almost like a improvised stage play or something. Not saying he is not legit

[@ElBuenTorogoz]

Incredible!

[@jimmyjunk8498]

you're a bad person, i think.

[@one01001]

Beat me to it! I immediately felt like this went beyond just "normal" interviewing.

[@conrad9398]

There’s something cathartic to this watching his transition to a clown (without really even addressing it initially) and going into such detail about his life. It’s almost cinematic in a way. Thank you for being so open and bringing attention to OCD

[@coltonzzzzz]

I used to know him. When I was little I would go to a farmer's market every week and he would always be there. I remember sipping pomegranate juice and watching him make animals out of balloons. He was one of the kindest people I've ever met and he took pride in making kids laugh. I had no idea any of this was going on but I hope he's doing well.

[@coltonzzzzz]

@testernone california

[@christopherbardales8286]

Was it the farmers market in Paramount?

[@kayla8292]

@testernone the only way

[@Luka_c123]

Sure

[@coltonzzzzz]

@@christopherbardales8286 yeah

[@SGriffin597]

Steve's story is the definition of "Soft White Underbelly." This is an amazing example of human vulnerability and resilience. Mark, your video journalism is anything but entertainment, but rather real-life education and exposure through the strength and power of your presenters. All monuments of the human spirit!

[@N7Voltnier]

Well said sir, beautifully written.

[@JoeKing69]

It's also quite entertaining, though. The best education always is.

[@isaaccunningham5464]

so eloquent in your description; well done

[@modernmistyk4341]

Very beautifully said my friend

[@LongDongSilver112]

Unfortunately I don't believe a word of the junkies stories.

[@TDruzhok]

PLEASE bring Steve back for another interview! He has so many stories to tell and I absolutely love his way of talking

[@f2i7afg345wz]

This man can talk. What a character. He could make the dullest thing sound amazing. Hats off.

[@josehenriquez3274]

@@f2i7afg345wztips his teenie weenie hat

[@DWG0619]

I really was stuck listening to him. First time on this channel

[@lucyxxwallace6634]

💯 I would love to see him again!

[@supranova565]

they did today!

[@lordanderson8090]

This dudes wanted to talk about this for a while thank you for giving him a platform

[@marcorodriguez7567]

People without OCD will NOT understand what we go through they think were just “weird” listening to this guy is therapeutical to listen to. It makes me cry because this is the first time I’m hearing someone else talk about it and me say “EXACTLY” “YES” like finally. I understand this guy

[@ivotalvik]

Phahahahaha exactly

[@ash-vn9hu]

SAME, its hard to feel like there are others out there when I get stuck in an unhealthy echo chamber.

[@gmy33]

Take care .. be strong

[@jameswalker366]

Read Claire Weekes- Self Help For Your Nerves and The Mind Works by Will Beswick. They will help tremendously.

[@kech-agmaio8620]

@@ash-vn9hu exactly

[@kamikazestriker4675]

This guy HAS to be back on. Phenomenal story teller, entertaining as hell, and has a life story I could listen to all day long. This 1 and half hour long video, felt like 20 minutes I was so hooked!

[@shnoogums1]

So much respect for this guy. He describes it in a casual way but it sounds like a living nightmare. What a brave fella

[@decemberstragicdrive]

hey nice pfp dude.

[@migerrancan554]

amazin soad pfp

[@jadezee6316]

sounds like? lol...he is describing a coping mechanism to intense fear....tough way to live as a child let alone an adult

[@BeeKay4444]

Agreed. Such a difficult thing to live with.

[@chimchim90210]

Get yourself a manager, and an agent. This is a one man show that should tour the country. You've got the charm, talent and charisma.

[@Eaton-10]

I never thought I could be so captivated by a ~middle aged man talking RAPIDLY about his life growing up with OCD while getting dressed as a clown which really adds some special sauce to the whole story.

[@terrytownsend5583]

ageist

[@paige7517]

OCD is exhausting. It’s exhausting to deal with and to explain. This guy is awesome and so much appreciation for him. He explained everything in ways I couldn’t to my therapist, psychiatrist, & family/friends

[@sk8shred]

I recently saw a documentary in my country where a guy had gotten euthanasia because of his extreme OCD. Fucking insane dude, what a hell that must be.

[@brighl09]

Explaining it is honestly the worst because the response is always just like 😮

[@baudelaire138-]

@@sk8shred what country?

[@sk8shred]

@@MetalForLife1970 No, he was from the Netherlands, but that part was intense as fuck. He had such an extreme form of OCD in which, among other, classical things, he had to cut multiple 2.5 centimeter deep wounds into his arms every 9 or so days. I hypothesized that this was his brain trying to cope with the OCD by applying pain so his mind is distracted, but even that didn't help. Lived with it from he was a young child and eventually had euthanasia at 60 or so. Fucking hell man. I can definitely understand the feeling. One night, a couple of years ago, I was home alone and decided to smoke some weed in the garage. An hour later or so I went to bed but I was scared that there was still an ember left from the joint which I thought could burn down the house. I went to the garage again to check if the joint was out. It was ofcourse, but I kept returning for like 4 times to see if it was really out. Imagine that times a fucking million. That's OCD. Who's the Adam dude from Canada? Is there also a documentary about him?

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

paige7517 I cannot believe you had to suffer this your whole life. I am so sorry

[@derrickjr1705]

These interviews can be ridiculously therapeutic. Some of us just need people to listen.

[@lilithngray]

Abso-fucking-lutely! I'm blessed to be a good listener. I guess it takes relating..... Happy New Year hun

[@juststokedtobehere]

My Dad found peace watching Bob Ross and so do I, but these interviews are up there with that in an odd way. It is more difficult to listen to these, but I can't help but feel more love for the people and hope for them. It really gives me hope after listening to them.

[@watchinvidzwatchinvidz7691]

I love hearing people talk about their lives.

[@yesbink]

Relatable too, thats why I think these interviews really help me

[@liamccormick4097]

The simple fact that he is so incredibly self aware that he even had these self realizations is amazing. I am not diagnosed but I truly believe I have ocd among other things. The way he explains the rituals, the settings, the countering thoughts or images etc is so relatable to me. I don’t find myself getting stuck in rituals I just drop everything once it gets overwhelming and completely quit all together. Finding things that I loved doing and realizing that I was good at those particular things was life changing. School was always difficult due to concentration issues and overthinking everything. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your story! You’re very inspiring and great with the details. Sending love and peace ✌🏼 ❤

[@Official8thEntity]

the way he doesn't skip a beat in his story, or getting dressed. So well spoken and amazing story teller. I want more of this guy

[@Saintgeorgeofcoconuttree]

He's been rehearsing this story for his whole life

[@chasegimbel1904]

@@Saintgeorgeofcoconuttreewell ya because it’s his life… not sure what your trying to say with that

[@Saintgeorgeofcoconuttree]

@@chasegimbel1904 I'm trying to say exactly what I said

[@chasegimbel1904]

@@Saintgeorgeofcoconuttree so your saying it’s an act or …

[@Saintgeorgeofcoconuttree]

@@chasegimbel1904 I just though it was an interesting concept, it's not that deep

[@graceh9655]

“anyway i’m a clown now everything’s good now” he deserves everything!!! i wish you the best steve you have a good heart ❤

[@pur5atory]

im so happy for him

[@forposterity4031]

I think John Wayne Gacy said something similar.

[@kawehiclassof2011]

love that

[@linds3904]

@@forposterity4031 gtfoh with that shit

[@djhart25]

@@forposterity4031 and? I love animals. So did Hitler. Doesn't suggest a thing about me.

[@Kindermanization]

PLEASE invite this man back for a follow up. Absolutely loved this dude and am very interested in the clown museum he said he's opening! Thank you so much for your amazing content!

[@nickj118]

how do you add money through comment because im on the same page and want or need a lil more

[@kitkatfiend]

how did you send money through a comment?? i want to gift my fav youtubers

[@auorma8056]

@@kitkatfiend its the thanks button next to save

[@LORDBIGBYREGSKOTT69]

That’s what I’m saying bro, out of all the People, Gangsters and Cops you interviewed mark this dude is definitely my favourite by farrr

[@ihornew]

Yes, please do!

[@There.Their.Theyre]

This was so amazing. Nothing I have ever read or seen has illustrated the nuts and bolts of OCD for me like this video. His candid, unfiltered descriptions had me riveted to what he was going to reveal next. I really admire him for doing this interview and re-living these painful episodes so that WE are more educated about what OCD is! That is a generous and selfless act. You really did a good thing here and it doesn't need to be balanced by opposing thoughts! It stands alone as a singular act of good. From my heart to yours, thank you, Steve.

[@TheoWren]

holy shit. he describes the complicated counting systems of OCD so perfectly. i have it myself, and it would be exhausting to have to type it all out, but the counting process really is this complex, and you have to land on a “good” number in order to be able to stop. it’s so liberating to hear someone else describe it - someone who really gets it.

[@troyl5929]

Yeah its honestly pretty reliving to hear other peoples stories. I use to lift up my cup of water and put it down like 20 times before drinking, and I had an OCD compulsion where my brother was dirty/unfit for friendship or love and it was a fucking mess. so glad i grew out of it

[@stacynortham3034]

i always used to do mulitples of threes until i became convinced i killed my brother that way. real messed up stuff. its like you cannot stop even though you know it doesnt make sense. pure madness. obsession is the thought, compulsion is the action

[@Make-Asylums-Great-Again]

I can’t step on a crack and I must end on an even amount of times(whatever I’m doing). Life is weird.

[@gerardjansens1748]

when i was observing something i had to move my head a certain way or id feel like i couldnt really see what i was trying to observe so that ended up in me just turning my head like a spastic when walking around in any museum.

[@entitygaming3180]

The text you wrote has an even number of words (66)

[@Steve-we4zp]

as someone who’s grown up seeing you at my parties, brother i love you. i’m very proud of you for talking about your life. you’ve given me so many unforgettable good memories in my life and i could always tell you were a badass. seeing you genuinely made me so happy as a kid like i remember being mindblown at the balloon tricks and laughing my ass off at the routine and even when my siblings were coming up at their parties. you’re awesome man i hope you see this

[@GorillaShells]

You remember seeing this guy's specifically or are you referring to all clowns

[@shut2985]

@@GorillaShells😂😂😂😂😂

[@Cotton-r9k]

You’re lying

[@yvonnecamarena8774]

You are bad ass

[@Lewdacris916]

cap, u dont know this guy lmao

[@ComedyPodcastPatrol]

I’m beyond impressed. I’ve had OCD for my entire life and within the first five minutes of this I felt like crying. The way he explained the feeling with the numbers and how you know it’s silly, but then how it gets worse. Wow. My OCD started with flickering light switches on and off around five years old. Eventually it turned into every single thing (touching things, foot steps, swallowing) had to be even numbers. Only once I grew up and moved out on my own was I able to break my urges due to the fact that I lived with my girlfriend at the time and I was able to overcome the urges instead of looking like a psycho all of the time. Now it comes and goes, but I have it under control I would say. No medication although I did take depression medication for 2-3 months when I was 16. Anyways, thanks for reading my story. If you’re suffering with this weird mental thing, you’re not crazy (I don’t think).

[@Lewdacris916]

i have a friend with OCD, he is my age now 40s and was only able to live on his own for a year or two with a crazy ass gf before moving back home with parents.

[@chocolatecream5593]

That’s honestly so touching. To go from constantly depending on superstition to feel healthy, based on how many times you interact with something. Then, you meet your girlfriend and your mind knows that she makes you feel better, realizes that what it’s doing may drive her away, so in an effort to seem normal for her your mind stops doing it. Wow

[@nathanbennett9025]

This is so crazy. I never knew what it was called until watching this video. but man when I was younger and even somewhat now I would always have to make sure all the doors are locked at the house before going to sleep if I didn’t it would drive me crazy and I wouldn’t be able to sleep. And anytime I would walk past the door I would always check to see if the lock was actually locked even though I know it’s locked. But like you said when you got a girlfriend it stopped. The same thing happened to me it stopped.

[@bignonoIamAgirl]

i relate so much... i had my first compulsions since before first grade and i never knew that i had ocd until 11th grade even with all my compulsions. just never knew what it was bc i wasn't especially organized and that was the stereotype for ocd. never even came across my mind that i could have it- though my parents sure did lol. for me i also had an obsession with even numbers! and odd numbers were "evil." then when i started dorming in college i was able to break/comparmentalize the urge of so many of my compulsions and obsessions since i didn't wanna seem weird to my roommates! took at least 2 anxiety inducing years + lots of breakdowns but was able to eventually contain most of it. (also without meds, had no idea where to start w it back then) i think i have control of almost all my compulsions now as well as somewhat stronger control over my obsessions after so many years of pure trying- and oh god it feels good to be (semi-)"free" from doing/thinking about ocd things! even if it'll prob never truly go away i don't feel chained to my ocd anymore. :) i'm happy for you, congrats!!

[@mandyronable]

I was even numbers and swallowing an even amout of times, would wash my hands so much they were raw. I would sit down and stand up over and over until it felt right. I've mostly over come it.. I'm 41 now

[@soulstorm8806]

I know I’m late a couple years but this was Poetically Beautiful. He has great confidence. He’s highly intelligent too. And it’s like low key but strong as can be simultaneously. This man is an eloquent genius in my opinion. A sensitive genius. Inspired. Knowing from the core of his being that numbers and words MATTER! And if a demon happens to curse his way he immediately chants positivity into the atmosphere! He’s brilliant. Excellence is hard to come by. This man has SOUL or HEART. Gotta love the guy! He’s nearly a masterpiece of remembrance and understanding! Amazing.

[@yoyoclodie]

How can someone be so fragile and so resilient at the same time? Inspirational

[@TheLiamMurphy]

I'm going to steal that quote Sis x

[@christysivley]

This man explains OCD so very well. I'm sure its different for everyone but im blown away how well hes able to articulate such a fucked up disorder. He's awesome.

[@kurtholus]

This man is an exceptional storyteller. I hope he finds success with his talent and can live a little easier.

[@Fifty8day]

I agree , I reckon he should a actor

[@peppermintnightmare4741]

I'd totally listen to his audio book reads if he ever read anything cool

[@sergedenovo2389]

You're just mentally damaged aas he is.

[@adamsymborski1520]

As someone with ADHD, this was the most engaged I've been in a while.

[@Ladyfingers-333]

Oh that’s why lol 😅

[@InteractiveIdea]

Is it a challenge focusing?

[@pogmaster4559]

@@InteractiveIdea Yes it can be

[@JTCin2025]

I recently became diagnosed as an adult,was "borderline" as a kid. Are there any methods that work for you,I'm a writer and struggle with focus even with meds.

[@InteractiveIdea]

@@JTCin2025 try forming habits...

[@MA-ti4og]

I actually wish this was another 2 hours long, I want to know this man's entire life story. My god, what a wild ride

[@Dan-yk6sy]

The most captivating interview on this channel I've seen so far. This better have a part 2, or as many as this guy can talk for.

[@rootfish2671]

@@Dan-yk6sy much more interesting than the endless fentanyl addict interviews

[@mikemurray3008]

😂😂😂 right

[@scenenuf]

he did mention he has a book, I wonder if he has done the audio book version for it haha

[@mieuxdisante]

Yes pleaaaase! :-) @@Dan-yk6sy

[@BrickofBeef]

I have never heard anyone explain what it is like to have OCD with such accuracy. He captures the thought process perfectly.

[@Petunia_3c]

I’ve had severe OCD since I was a kid and he explained everything perfectly. I can never explain it well enough and people just don’t get it. Aside from that tho, this was the most entertaining interview I’ve ever heard and we need more Steve videos, please!!

[@SHEDEVILWASHERE]

I am a clown. And, just watched another clown shed his skin, while talking about a condition I had as a child, and that my teen child has now. This video moved me in so many different ways.

[@OPGrimmz]

You’re such a clown :)

[@ryancampbell8645]

Must have been surreal...

[@mbkgRyloLaflare]

OCD doesn’t go away it’s treatable and manageable but not curable

[@alexgear959]

​@@mbkgRyloLaflare it does go away, i had ocd and i resolved it, believe it or not.. I also realized here I had an OCD attack once and it blew my mind

[@leroyjenkins4811]

Man, OCD is pure hell! I empathize with this man. It’s ruined so many aspects of his life. I’m glad he’s doing so much better with the proper meds. Mark, please keep track of Steve and keep bringing him back to the show. We need updates and we need to hear more of his story. I hope Steve telling his story makes him feel better as it must be therapeutic for him.

[@marylougeorge1385]

😊👏👏👏❤️

[@Hopscotch_24]

❤

[@warmlantern0000]

I read it wrong at first. I thought you said someone euthanize this man 🤣🤣 sorry.

[@shadowbeastie]

when he touched on the sui cide part i literally started to cry. i can't even imagine.

[@Last_Chance.]

Mark you have to make a part 2 and 3 with this guy. I want to hear about the rest of his story.

[@elisabethsalmon4107]

ABSOLUTELY

[@basicbeach7544]

Agreed

[@Gram820]

Oh please no

[@marylougeorge1385]

Most definitely.👏👏👏

[@marylougeorge1385]

@@Gram820 Be it known: you're uninvited from all of Steve's additional interviews.👍👏👏👏

[@whenmooglesattack]

This guy is so real. The work that SWU is doing for society and mental health awareness is so important. Thank you for capturing this man's story.

[@manofculture-69]

Hi!

[@DumbAmerican-gu2mz]

Profiting off of mental illness is only benefitting SWU. Maybe if he focused on an illness and continued documenting the illness, then SWU would be beneficial. All this single video is doing is allowing those who think they have something wrong with them self-diagnose based off of these videos.

[@offplace]

Hey

[@whenmooglesattack]

I respect your feelings regarding this, but I'm not sure why you are so heated at a stranger. This is what the Mayo Clinic says the definition of a mental illness is: "Mental illness, also called mental health disorders, refers to a wide range of mental health conditions - disorders that affect your mood, thinking and behavior. Examples of mental illness include depression, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, eating disorders and addictive behaviors."@@solofemaletravelerme

[@micu1544]

You really need to get some wisdom... This channel is poverty safari , and weirdos to stare at in your comfortabe house.

[@nickswisegood1943]

This was a true piece of art. I was truly captivated the entire time. Please do a series with this gentleman he is a national treasure

[@thedonitalian1923]

We are entertained by another person’s psychosis or mental shortcomings.

[@BenW-t1j]

@@thedonitalian1923 Entertaining? Maybe a bit. More so though, INSPIRING.

[@stacynortham3034]

@@thedonitalian1923 as far as i am concerned, its less entertaining than it is to know im not the only one

[@michaelb.42112]

The Clown Steve wears his heart on his sleeve and has no fear of judgement. What an amazing interview.

[@Psm-00]

@@thedonitalian1923 he doesnt have psychosis but anyways

[@joechalmers8428]

I must of passed this video 100 times. I'm so glad I watched it. He reminds me so much of a friend of mine who can just talk for hours and hours and hours. I always told him he has a terrible case of OCD. Thanks for sharing Steve. You are definitely a star of this channel

[@Rico_G]

Me too - I'm really not fond of clowns. Watched it tonight and very glad that I did!

[@DumbAmerican-gu2mz]

You’re not a psychiatrist bro

[@rikidasicko4189]

This guy is charming. His story telling skills and the fact that he is so self-concious is unbelievable considering what he has gone through. I wish to hear more from him! An absolute gem of a human being.

[@Snowlys]

That’s how it Is when this affects you. Your self aware cause all You do is think

[@rikidasicko4189]

@@Snowlys Good point!

[@Fiona2254]

Not self conscious but self aware.

[@memanuel100]

All i can say is WoW! That "interview" is a masterpiece. Hilariously brilliant and poignant reminding us that people are so complex and beautiful and require a great deal of understanding and compassion. Thanks to SWU and Mark for all of these videos. I listen to an interview on my drive to work most mornings and i'm a better human and pediatric care provider for it. The interviews remind me that sometimes i need to just shut up and listen especially to my adolescent patients. Thank you steve and thank SWU.

[@lemonadelunacy3291]

An hour and a half, no pauses, no loss of interest, and mark only asks about three questions. This guy is brilliant!!! Thanks, Mark ❣️‼️

[@perfumewench]

The way he describes feeling after being molested by a female parental figure is spot on. Your body responds in a way that your brain knows it should not. I am 62 now. I was 12 at the time. I still remember the incident vividly. And it is not a pleasant memory.

[@memyselfi2005]

That part of the story was really sad. I’m sorry you had a similar experience. Just awful, and to make matters worse western society spent decades behaving as if boys and men can not be sexually assaulted at all. Not that they treat female rape victims much better. Slap on the wrist for rape. Horrible. One of the most violent and demeaning things that can happen to a person. Especially to a child

[@notesgo1556]

😔❤️

[@derekhoover5304]

Don't ever refer to them as "parental". Parents protect their children. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[@BootsORiley]

@@derekhoover5304 how about just not telling a rape survivor what to do? It's really not that difficult.

[@derekhoover5304]

@@BootsORiley I'm sorry your parents were PoS or you're a PoS parent. But parents protect children. If you let your child fall into the arms of harm you should..... well I can't say that on KZbin. But I'm sure you understand where I was going. If you don't let me know. We can meet up and I'll draw you a map and give you VERY DETAILED instructions on how to complete the task.

[@burrito4727]

The amount of confidence and strength to not only talk about this stuff on camera but to survive it and get thru it, is truly admirable and commendable.

[@MathMith]

I've never been that captivated in my life I don't think, man what a storyteller

[@unknownkingdom]

Nah it was way too long and ramlbing

[@jamesfortner6106]

​@@unknownkingdom that's your perspective. Not every type of good story teller has a standard.

[@PJBchannel]

When Steve was about to continue his story and says “I know we’re trying to wrap this up” the immense amount of sadness I felt was unreal! I can watch this guy daily and listen to his stories

[@yazoo213]

Maybe we should suggest he make his own channel

[@Eater_of_Souls]

What is his book called???

[@kurtholus]

@@Eater_of_Souls Obsessive Clown-Pulsive Disorder

[@Jay__Cee]

Thank you Steve for sharing. I’ve lived with severe OCD for 21 years and I see my own mannerisms in Steve; things people wouldn’t even notice but I did. I’m so grateful to see you raising awareness for something no one used to talk seriously and openly about, Mark. Thank you so so much.

[@hetisechtchelsey]

What kind of mannerisms? I would love to learn more about that

[@marcosluna7792]

Same here man! that whole odds and evens thing and just applying pressure to the cup so it "counts". I have mostly ticks and compulsive mannerisms that take up so much of my time that I get infuriated with myself. Luckily never suffered from intrusive thoughts, but my brother gets those pretty bad sometimes. OCD is strange and manifests differently for people, but I felt like I could see myself in Steve and that was comforting. Much love from VA!

[@letskebab101]

My comments makes this thread even. Hope it helps.

[@handdoek4442]

I have the same thing; i recognise so much of his behaviour and experiences its crazy similar

[@xBREDD]

The whole “if I don’t do this then this will happen” part is too familiar w/ myself.

[@twyla2575]

His mind is on an endless loop like a computer program missing the Yes/No STOP option in the flowchart. He is amazing to be able to live and actually thrive with this disorder. This is a great interview.

[@irritatedkitty7301]

He certainly went through the loops and came out on the better side, but what about others who are not as articulate or as strong? His story was interesting and yet it must have been exhausting to live it. The so called professionals must do better for those that suffer like Steve.

[@timothyandrewnielsen]

Thats what i was thinking. I did too much coke one time and had mental behaviors like him. I actually wonder if his mind is a little out of wack in a similar way...

[@Vugen18]

its a defense mechanism of the brain, trying to control the situation.

[@deevillarreal9475]

The BOMBARDING in your own mind has got to be so tiresome. I am OCD not to this degree , his is all life consuming. 🫂❤️ There are mind meds that can slow the racing down to a manageable halt.

[@deevillarreal9475]

@@Vugen18 but in severity and out of desperation. It's a mental escape or attempt at it.

[@bakdirohanamos444]

As someone who has OCD, I had to muster up the courage to watch this video, because unfortunately, I didn’t want to possibly transfer over any of his thoughts to me. Only 18 minutes in, very good so far, wish me luck!

[@joerosadini951]

I suffer from PTSD and one of the other many disorders I suffer from is OCD and I completely relate to this dude. It's real man I'm 39 no wife no kids no desire to have a family and to simply put it my mental health is why I won't go down that path. Excellent interview, great story teller

[@BVonBuescher]

Thanks for the insight. I honestly was trying to figure out if this guy was putting it on or if he was just really that scatterbrained. I empathize so much with both of you. Hang in there and much love, a man!

[@SandraSmith-vb5pf]

Great Voice 🤡🙌🤗💯🙏❤️🌈

[@joerosadini951]

@Wombats I've been using medical Marijuana to great success now for about a year. No more panic attacks, I sleep so much better and best of all no more prescription medication. Meds works for alot of people like me but not all of us so I'm glad I'm off them.

[@maryjackson.214]

Thanks for sharing your inner thoughts on life. Just know you’re not alone and truly deserve a life without so much suffering.

[@marylougeorge1385]

@@joerosadini951 Steve said pot is a No for him due to his OCD. Although it's good for a lot of other medical things.

[@StephanieBWeber]

As someone who has struggled with OCD in the past, I’ve never heard someone describe it so well. He is so well spoken and a great story teller.

[@areeshafaisal9463]

Past ? You don’t have it anymore?

[@StephanieBWeber]

@@areeshafaisal9463 good point, I still do I suppose but I now am hyper aware of what my type of obsessive thoughts and behaviors are and the triggers (through 200 years of therapy). So when they start up, I’m able to recognize and actively work on stopping them before they spiral to what I consider OCD behaviors for me.

[@courtneysmithtriathlon]

This brought tears to my eyes. My son has severe OCD and anxiety. He didn’t respond well to meds. He suffers so much, but we take it one day at a time. I cannot begin to express my gratitude that you shared Steve’s stories. As a mom, I try to learn as much as I can, so I can help my son. I hugged him harder tonight ❤ Thank you Steve for being courageous and telling your story. Sending you lots of love. You are awesome.

[@Moongazing777]

I wish my parents were as supportive about my OCD as you. Mine just scream at me when I start behaving strangely and tell me it’s just in my head

[@knickandknac]

@@Moongazing777 you don’t deserve that kind of treatment and deserve patience and compassion. But they also don’t understand and so get frustrated that it doesn’t make sense and also that they can’t help you.

[@ryaplier7139]

the only way i broke my severe ocd was to realize every thing i’ve done for ocd was for nothing. almost a year straight of ocd for some big ass plot twist

[@psychedelaholic]

I recommend, if you haven't already, putting him on an animal foods based diet like keto incorporating as much raw animal foods as you can. Eggs yolks, raw milk/butter, raw cheese, high quality meat and organs like liver either rare or completely raw. Sounds unconventional but there is significant evidence for consistently sustained ketosis being able to have great effect in treating severe mental disorders such as psychosis and schizophrenia, predominantly successful in reducing delusions. Even outside of ketosis eating a diet comprised of these things is transformative for mental and physical well-being. Wishing you the best.

[@Riyuzako7]

how is he now

[@jasminelrodriguez16]

OCD is living hell--I've had it my entire life and didn't realize it until I had a major episode around the end of middle school/early high school. I'm stronger for it now and still have my moments of panic and anxiety, but after years of learning its tricks and nuances, it has become background noise. Sending love and comfort to everyone that is dealing with this disorder--shit might not seem like it will get better but it does. Take things day by day, continue to live your life not giving OCD the recognition it desperately wants, and things will level out.

[@TheBombshellBabydoll]

His stepmother was a predator, and his father was abusive on top of his OCD. I actually really feel bad for him even though he tells the story well. He tells his stories with humor as a copeing mechanism.

[@AdDeRidder]

I was wondering the same thing - how much of Steve's OCD developed from being a smart kid whose life was spinning out of control so he tried to control the littlest things that he COULD control.

[@aloysiusdevanderabercrombi470]

" coping

[@bilbo_gamers6417]

​@@AdDeRidderProbably none of it. I think he definitely just had severe OCD from the start. His sexual abuse likely exacerbated it and made it worse but most of it is genetic and just part of his wiring.

[@aramaicjew3212]

I have kindof ocd negative thoughts and i counter it by saying the opposite stuff

[@thewelder4449]

I was diagnosed with severe OCD as a child. I was extremely hesitant about clicking on this video because I was afraid it could trigger an OCD attack. A story or word could send me spiraling into a panic attack and I'd have to do hours of rituals to snap me out of it. Somehow it had the opposite effect. I've never related to someone's story more and it gave me a huge sense of comfort. I've never heard someone have such similar thoughts and rituals. With years of meditation and healthy coping mechanisms I've learned to appreciate my OCD for being a part of who I am rather than a disability. Thank you, Soft White Underbelly for this video. This was extremely odd timing to release this specific video about OCD as a start to the New Year. Keep doing what you're doing.

[@plantspeakcodes]

Thanks for sharing

[@xyzop7977]

Bro can you please give me any technique/thing which I can do to stop this craziness. My university exams are coming therefore I can't really go right now to a psychiatrist but need some help to calm a bit to ace my exams and get out of this shit on my own . Please share how one can cope up with this fucking thing.

[@Demo-Man808]

This video hit deep, I grew up with a brother that was OCD and that intro of him repeating the same phrase gave me flashbacks. My brother - God rest his soul, use to make the same noise until it sounded like his vocal chords were breaking. He was like a father to me, I grew up watching him suffer and change before my very eyes. I used heroin and cocaine to bury the deep pain I had watching him suffer, getting stuck for hours, sometimes mutilating himself, cutting body parts off (also schizophrenic). The worst part about it was he was the nicest, most gentle, kind, innocent person I know till this day. Rest in peace my brother. God bless this man’s soul, I know how debilitating OCD can be. He seems like a good guy too. I wish my brother could have found something that brought him joy and meaning.

[@mylestorres2622]

Jah bless you, one love, your a strong one❤

[@JesusSaves77799]

I’m so sorry for what you went through and I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Have you ever thought about spiritual possession? Do you think your brother may have suffered from that? Thank you very much. 🙏

[@sportsupdates1103]

So sorry man. May your brother rest in peace.

[@CocoCloset]

I love this channel so much. You wouldn't have any idea what people go through if they were walking down the street but this show puts so many stories in the most beautiful , raw light. This man has one of the most captivating story I've ever heard.

[@offtherecord86]

Already rewatching this for the second time. This is one of the most fascinating people you’ve had on your channel so far

[@nese3520]

HOW???? Do you have ocd 🤭🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Broc.M4]

@@nese3520who are you?😭

[@misstrashstar]

@@nese3520what

[@nese3520]

@@Broc.M4 I'm nese🤷🏾‍♀️

[@nese3520]

@@misstrashstar auto correct. It should have said OCD.

[@conflction]

Jesus Christ. I’ve experienced so many elements of his story. From ocd, reactions/opinions on meds….to other things I don’t want to admit. I’m really grateful for this video, made me cry multiple times. Thank you.

[@alkestos]

Here's hoping for fast healing and for better tomorrow. Stay strong.

[@ThekingdomPod1]

big love to ya

[@Beautyofthebass]

This is the first time I have sat and listened to someone talk about OCD. I struggle with it too and i'm very aware of what it is.... but I still stay quiet about it. I'm actively trying to beat it now and I feel like I will... but it is scary. This dude is incredible and I look up to him, he is an inspiration. Very thankful I clicked on this video today.

[@wtbhelbreath5098]

This guy did such a great job explaining OCD that about 5 minutes in I got concerned that if I kept watching I'd also develop OCD

[@lanalion]

Literally, same.

[@gowithhisflow5853]

Lol me too

[@CA787]

Me too!

[@booshank2327]

Hahaha yes. I started thinking "oh shit, I've done similar things but to nowhere near the same extent to even his earliest stuff, but this is gonna unlock something in me." 😂

[@evanbukowski3344]

brutally true

[@TheReal7Bit]

This man seems like a living art project. The way he expresses himself could essentially be turned into a short film monologue. There's the beauty of humanity here somewhere. To me, this is actually one of my favorite videos on your channel so far and a great way to start off 2023.

[@Tomo-wg2iq]

This was an amazing interview. For a guy to talk so fast, like he's in a hurry to say everything, for 90 minutes, yet stay entertaining the whole time, is impressive. Also seems like much was left unsaid, would love to see more of him

[@sourgummiez]

I love this style!! Where he talks as he gets ready. Love how you just let these people talk and don't cut them off because most people will keep sharing if you let them :) thanks Mark!

[@HabibiKardame]

Can someone make this into a movie. This interview just kept getting better and better with every minute. Extremely entertaining, such a passionate storyteller and a great plot to go with it.

[@gypsy2007]

Bill Murray would play Steve.

[@kaylieryan9498]

Baskets is sorta like it

[@jonnybarnard8578]

I thought this one was going to be about a guy who obsessively dresses as a clown every day and it ruined his life because he couldn't get a job on account of always being dressed as a clown, but he hated clowning or was too shy to clown so he couldn't do that either. This thought actually went through my incredibly stupid brain.

[@wooopwopwopwwooo609]

That is not a stupid thought at all I think that’s so cool and awesome :3

[@lamandamabry2172]

😂😂😂

[@booshank2327]

Yup I thought he was going to literally be obsessively, compulsively a clown. Guess we're the 🤡 lol

[@johngillette3752]

Hey, be nice.

[@tammyoluyemi423]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@ICastr8Fascist]

Hes got the gift of gab. Best one ive seen. This guy had me captivated with his story and his personality. So much so I watched this episode twice in just 24 hours. Glad hes doing better now. Id love a follow up on him. Hope hes still doing good.

[@lizenright2618]

This is so familiar to me. My presentation of OCD was different because my compulsions were mostly intrusive, repetitive thoughts and fears. Also called “pure OCD”. It baffled a lot of doctors, and I was misdiagnosed for a decade. Once I was diagnosed, got on the right med, and underwent counseling specifically to manage OCD and learn to coexist with it, my thoughts quieted. I lost a decade of my life being stuck in my head miserable with my thoughts and worries. 😢 I feel you and appreciate your candor and willingness to talk about this.

[@LaceyPowers82]

Would you mind sharing which medication you take?

[@lizenright2618]

@@LaceyPowers82 after trialing many SSRIs, the one that worked for me was Fluvoxamine (Luvox)

[@nondscript1751]

I know this clown as the clown, not steve. incredibly charismatic and brings joy and laughter whenever i would see him. great with kids and adults, never would have thought this was his past.

[@clownie6868]

That's the problem - clowns swear an oath to not break clown and he did that. Red flag

[@floo1465]

@@clownie6868 😐

[@ethansalazar730]

@@clownie6868 he found something that made him comfortable

[@mjriemen]

@@clownie6868 wut?? 🤔

[@shawnrae4022]

@@clownie6868 😂😂😂

[@CeeCeeArt]

I had an employee with serious ocd. He told me his story on a 3 hour drive to a conference. I was shocked at how someone can actually live like that. Good video Steve and Mark!!

[@De5O54]

Childhood trauma. Seeing the building on fire, going up in flames. Non attentive parents who get a separation and divorce. Lifelong and damaging trauma wounds.

[@christopherpederson1021]

It’s not a matter of choice

[@JunkBondTrader]

@@christopherpederson1021 She didn't say it was.

[@JahBreed]

@@JunkBondTrader What's odd is, we need to remind ourselves until we believe it. Take it easy, Boss.

[@princesspeach828]

It's difficult

[@moritz584]

I think it's beautiful that this channel gives people the opportunity to just let it all out. All at once with no interruption or time limit

[@tanner6538]

Yeah, this guy really needed to just speak.

[@mercmyst]

This gent is an absolute gem. Patriot. Comedian. Authentic as heck. Thanks again Mark. Where's the button to give a tip $?

[@beardsupremacy]

Easily one of the best interviews you have done. This man’s story-telling is literally grade A . On the real side, i had no IDEA , OCD was THIS bad. Really opened my eyes to this.

[@kyla6538]

OCD for many is even worse than this. Steve suffers immensely from ocd and yet it can get so much worse and for many is worse. Not to minimize Steve's OCD at all, im only saying this to help you understand that OCD can be 100% debilitating. Ocd can consume a person it can be a part of their entire day people can spend 24 hours doing obsessive compulsive behaviors and they cannot make themselves stop. It's heartbreaking to sew people suffer from it. I had a friend with trichotilomania which caused her to pull out her hair strand by strand and she would get stuck doing it for hours and hours. She had big bald spots on her head and her eyebrows were completely gone.

[@mellmell45]

i had no idea ocd was this bad until i was diagnosed last year. ocd is horrible, and debilitating, so im glad this video is showing ppl how horrid it is!

[@thedonitalian1923]

Yes, it is this bad. I can relate so much to this clown. I’ve also been subjected to an awful upbringing which has caused my coping skills and problem solving abilities to be sub-standard.

[@slayermill8621]

I have OCD and it's extremely exhausting at times. The symptoms manifest worse at certain times as well and I don't know why. It can completely consume your life it you don't get a grasp on it. As a kid I had issues with it but didn't know how to explain it to my parents and when I tried once to my dad he was just confused so in shame I never mentioned it again. I didn't know it was OCD until I was an adult. Steve does a great job explaining how OCD can manifest.

[@anniehope8651]

@@kyla6538 Thanks for mentioning Trichotillomania. It suffered from it and it sure can be debilitating. I have to say though that it is not an OCD. There are no (obsessive) thoughts involved, which disqualifies it as an OCD. They call it in Impulse Control Disorder. The closest relating disorders are Tourette's and Kleptomania, which aren't OCDs either. I don't like the term Impulse Control Disorder either, because suggests that everyone feels the same impulse to pluck their own hair, and our problem is we can't control that impulse. That's not how it works, but okay. Anyway, just wanted to mention it's not an OCD.

[@ashleyallen7138]

I can relate to him. I had a home invasion at age of 13. My Mom was out drinking with friends on a Saturday and I was home alone with my best friend at the time. We were on phone lying on my Mom’s bed and my dog ran in barking so I turned and a man with a mask on his face, gun, and my tennis racquet in his hands. He pointed the gun at my head and told me to shut my dog up. I muzzled my dog’s mouth with my hand and he told my friend at gunpoint to get in the bathroom. I thought it was some kind of prank because your brain can’t believe it. He beat me and sexually assaulted me. I suffered from debilitating PTSD for years. Intrusive thoughts started coming in my head. Terrible thoughts about hurting people. It was unbearable and I said I’d kill myself (to myself) if it continued past 21 years old. I started taking an antidepressant at the age of 23 because I could no longer cope with severe social anxiety. It helped but I always knew I’d suffer from postpartum depression after my babies. It came back with a vengeance after my first baby was born. I felt like a terrible mom for having crazy thoughts and was about to commit myself to a psych hospital. I didn’t want to be away from my baby and I didn’t want him to be taken from me so I muscled throw it. Why do those of us who suffer from such an evil fucker have to deal with the mental issues. It really makes me mad. I started drinking and doing whatever drugs were available for many years. Arrested 3 times at age of 20 for alcohol related crimes…dui and driving under suspended license, and disorderly conduct. I am 45 now with 3 kids and I’m a postpartum RN❤️ I worked my butt off to make it through college and graduated with honors. This is a crazy life❤️

[@amber76OH]

You are so strong. Congratulations on taking back your life, and using your horrific experience to help others as a post partum nurse. This is absolutely amazing. I'm sorry you had to struggle through it without sufficient mental health help. It's truly a tragedy within a tragedy when something like that happens. All my best to you!

[@OURWORLD4EVER]

Sorry that happened to you. Glad you have overcome it now. Best of luck

[@ashleyallen7138]

@@OURWORLD4EVER thank you for such kind words🥰

[@ashleyallen7138]

@@amber76OH you make me have faith in humanity ❤

[@tiffanyblack6911]

🙏🏼 for you💕

[@pragyasingh2297]

Can Steve please make a youtube channel where he puts his clown makeup on and tell stories? He's an extraordinary storyteller

[@leftypaws1131]

I would 100% subscribe to his channel… a lot of ppl mark interviews could be KZbinrs. He finds fascinating characters.

[@ZEEGA]

i believe he would have some extra problems with doing that in a proccess

[@mathire9585]

I could listen to this man every minute he talks. Very honest, very honorable, and very entertaining. Great video.

[@JewelzUFO]

I wish more people could explain their mental health issues like this. It brought a lot of compassion out of me. ❤️

[@Lianeele]

Exactly my thoughts. Most people from these series just talk about their lives without good ability to grab it all and transform it into something what makes sense to them, not mentioning not being able to keep the other people aware and drag them into their story. This is perfect, Steve is awesome and his storytelling style is catchy. :)

[@pricklycatsss]

@@Lianeele He didn't have a bad childhood apparently, so he only has to explain the illness itself, which really narrows it down. But when you have both trauma from your environment/living situation combined with mental illness it gets extremely complicated and it's difficult to explain things. Life is just a blur that my subconscious seems to block out. So many repressed things from my past I only remember if someone reminds me and I start getting a panic attack thinking about it. I've been through so many counselors and therapists and it's so exausting to have to re-explain my life every time. Not taking away from what he's been through obviously. I have autism, ADHD, and CPTSD (which all have crossover symptoms with OCD). A lot of autistic people have OCD. You'll never really understand this guy fully, or understand anyone. I've had to come to terms with that in the past few years. Nobody is ever going to understand and I'm not going to waste my energy anymore trying to make people understand. There's only a handful of people who I really share anything with anymore and I should only care what they think.

[@LfunkeyA]

most people can, they just don't see the need to.

[@IGotNoJam]

@@pricklycatsss he has mentioned to have been sexually assaulted by an older woman when he was young. I believe he's able to tell all of this so clearly because his disorder makes him very self aware since he's thinking so intensely all the time and is confronted with his issue so concentrated.

[@stormyco]

When I realized I had OCD it changed my life. It's so important we hear stories about what ocd can look like besides just "oh they have to check if the oven is on". I had rampant constant intrusive thoughts that made my life hell, learning it was ocd made it feel more manageable. These kinds of stories are so important!

[@ryderpanistic4969]

stop caping you don’t got ocd bum

[@solarian_13]

Loved hearing from this guy. It’s like talking to a family member you haven’t talked to in 10 years and they lay out everything from their life you never heard about.

[@stevek8]

Holy sh!+. . . I started listening to this after work before I hoped on my motorcycle to go home. I barely made it 2 minutes in and I got goosebumps and almost started to cry because this is a mirror to my life. It started at 7 years old and I am 52 now.

[@jayfie_]

when you see him you would never guess what he’s been through. he’s so strong. i’m so happy that he’s bringing joy to this world after what he’s struggled with.

[@EddyG0rdo]

Really? You don’t see it? Dude has insane anxiety.

[@humanbean3]

he's been thru the same shit as most of us, he only exaggerated it and made it sound like it messed him up so bad. he's an actor who loves to play victim IMO

[@gesudinazaret9259]

@@humanbean3 or maybe we are all fucked up?

[@humanbean3]

@@gesudinazaret9259 maybe. but we definitely don't all act like this clown. dude's an actor putting on a show. you could tell he was making shit up on the spot because it sounded interesting

[@gesudinazaret9259]

@@humanbean3 yeah and?that doesn't make him less miserable

[@hodothefrobbit8149]

What an incredible guy to have the balls to talk so openly about his life. Huge respect.

[@stevejames7833]

Holy fuck Steve, I thought I was ever the only one. You're not alone brother! Have hidden my same 'OCD of Consequential Thoughts & Mental Rituals' for half my life (I'm 33 now) from my friends, family & even my wife & kids. Massively held me back until my early 20's after countless meltdowns, tear tantrums, soul crushing frustrations & cancelling plans/dates where those around me thought I was just having a few bad days. *DO NOT combat those negative thoughts with positive, because it only gets you on that merry-go-round of emotional fucking hell Steve's talking about. *BEST to challenge them with your logic, they may be momentary silly or distressing thoughts but that's all they are. In reality you're a good person with honest intentions in life, don't dwell & move the fuck on with your day. Finally challenging it with reason prevailed, have it pretty well under control but fitness & the outdoors REALLY HELPS manage it on a daily. Thankyou for giving Steve a voice Mark, please start this man a series on SWU!

[@RecklessRetro]

I’ve had OCD my whole life. Some things to know for anyone new to it: - Everyone has intrusive thoughts, they just happen more and get worse with OCD - No matter how bad intrusions or compulsions get, they aren’t indicative of who you are. - You are lovable.

[@nickdolan7710]

Quite an insightful and compassionate comment

[@Whatishappeningxyz]

you didn’t “end up” a clown, you became one for a reason!! spreading joy has to be therapeutic for you especially with all the trauma from your stepmother, you can see the potential beaming out of you don’t let your ocd and trauma get in your way there’s always help, you’re awesome man ❤️

[@koyoteman58]

Soft White Underbelly may not be the first to ever do videos like this but SWU is the very Best!!! And the biggest I'm sure. I've been with him since the beginning and I'm a subscriber to his Patreon. He (and his interviews ) have helped me so very much. Used drugs for 46 years of my 64 yo life and quit around the time Mark started his channel. Been sober 7 years and I watch his videos to remind me I don't wanna go back to where I was, which was pure misery. Thanks so much for your help Mr Laita! Best channel on you tube, by far!

[@allnaturaledgedesigns]

Good job keep up the good work, I had the same experience swu drove me to get sober, thanks Mark

[@koyoteman58]

@@baublesanddolls Yes 7 years with one relapse 3 years ago. Please excuse my mistake.

[@laradeines6337]

So many people claim to be OCD when they are just particular about average things or they just want to feel "special". This guy is really OCD and it rules his life. He is the real deal. I have such compassion for him.

[@switchdeck9164]

OCD doesn't have to claim someones entire life for them to suffer from it.

[@SDM3791]

True. Most people say they are OCD and use it like a victim crutch

[@gb4breezy281]

I have ocd but rn I got it under control but I hope it don’t get worse and I’m 17

[@ElliottsCreations]

Anyone who actually has OCD isn't going to brag about having OCD. It can be debilitating. And you're absolutely right, some people use it to feel special, and it's so frustrating for us who genuinely have OCD. Not only that, but it creates a stereotype that makes OCD comes off as a personality trait and not as a serious mental illness. Thus making it harder for people actually suffering to speak up and tell someone about it. My advice, don't be afraid to talk to a doctor about it, they'll always believe you.

[@Kshinelawyer]

So he's crazy ....mmmhm

[@spartangold2412]

I just wanted to say that I am a 20 year old young man and the way Steve describes OCD is to the tee. I was diagnosed when I was 16 and it took me a couple years to realize my symptoms. Thank you for describing this condition so that people could understand Steve.

[@ericonca]

There’s something about him turning himself in to a clown while telling the story that makes this even better. Amazing storyteller.

[@clownie6868]

But clowns aren't supposed to be seen out of costume

[@aimankhurshid9413]

@@clownie6868 do you the WHY or just sheeping behind the rule?

[@Whatishappeningxyz]

yeah it’s super poetic

[@clownie6868]

@@Whatishappeningxyz 🤮

[@matthewdean8592]

This is the greatest interview/piece of video I’ve ever seen in my life. You capture magic Mark. I had OCD as a kid and without the killing people part, I had similar feelings with ocd. Never ever ever did I want to be a clown. This guy is someone’s spirit animal