r/firstworldproblems - The Mercury News Crime Blotter [feat. Soothouse]

[@sarateubert8252]

The funny part is that "Valley of Enchantment" is actually a REAL place in California. Poor guy had probably just stopped to ask for directions, and the store owner's wife called the cops on him.

[@beccataylor1245]

Oh, oh thats rough

[@fooliardus]

The land of enchantment is a nick name for new Mexico

[@slowlyjpeg6725]

They said "land of enchantment" though.

[@dx.feelgood5825]

@@slowlyjpeg6725 he could've meant New Mexico, or was just confused about the name

[@slowlyjpeg6725]

@@dx.feelgood5825 Oh well I done goofed I'm sorry.

[@Elon-chan]

TOP 3 MOST DANGEROUS PLACES TO VISIT IN THE WORLD: 3. Chernobyl 2. Syria 1. Redwood City

[@mrkiky]

Atherton sounds like a damn warzone.

[@ban1me540]

rob 998 Just something I heard in passing. I don't know the specifics of any foreign affairs, I was just told that the US struck some gas factories in Syria. But if they gave up chemical weapons then that couldn't be right, so I guess I was told wrong. My mistake.

[@loois9748]

I live near Redwood City and this is very true

[@dragonlover6653]

*3 of the most high places to visit in the world

[@hakced]

Chernobyl is quite safe except for the exclusion zone and around 800 people live there

[@Nitrolord]

It's so sad that neither of these channels post anymore. We've lost some good people in the last few years

[@mackback319]

and I don't like modern minecraft youtubers so unfortunately i stay away from wilbur

[@RtsShrtFrRtthw]

​@@mackback319tbh wilbur isnt so bad its just, like, everyone else lol

[@DissonantSynth]

​@@RtsShrtFrRtthwWilbur is part of the problem for enabling screeching kids like tommy

[@vengeance4927]

I miss these guys, I wonder what happened to them... if they just moved on with their lives quietly or something...

[@miles4939]

@Markiegee55 who tf is giofilms

[@SofieLoaf]

I work at an amusement park and this family threatened to sue me if they got wet on the ride. It was a water ride.

[@dominickperez2952]

r/thathappened

[@Smogfellows]

They meant a different kind of wet.

[@Bee-oh5lh]

**screaming**

[@mattojeda1491]

I would have told them to leave. Never would have let them on the fucking thing.

[@reyessimonjshmaels.565]

@@Smogfellows oh i see ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@bubbleddreams]

The moon being reported to the police reminded me of the time that my mom fell asleep drunk in the middle of the day and she woke up an hour later. She was pissed because ‘someone was shining a bright light in her window’, she was about to call the police when my dad told her that, that light was in fact the sun.

[@SnowDragon_2204]

that's amazing lmao

[@CC-bu2gv]

She probably should have reported it anyway. The sun should know it's not acceptable to go around aggressively shining into people houses like that.

[@calevoid]

I have a friend whom I told that there was going to be a red moon at night, so he went to his ceiling to see. He freaked out because "the moon was not moving", but he was drunk and didn't realized that he was staring at a red sattelite antenna until the actual moon started to rise.

[@darklordojeda]

And we’ve just been informed of the reality behind most alien abduction claims.

[@KnobleSloth]

On the bright side, pun intended, you don't have to save for college.

[@atomicdancer]

I wish I lived in a world where these were the headlines: _"Squirrel menaces fearful resident"_ _"Can of peanuts stolen (full story page 6)"_ _"Bicyclist steals two salads"_

[@mathiasrryba]

Some time this year someone where I love has made an armed robbery on a grocery store and stole ONE salad.

[@edisonlima4647]

To be fair, a LOT of the police calls reported sound like they were rich people getting super afraid because they saw someone poor crossing their street. So... it is still the same world as we live in, except the rich folks' version of it.

[@nstewart1623]

@@mathiasrryba My family owned a small business for about 14 years, a lot of smaller business owners take petty theft like that really seriously because if you take them to court and get them a fine it sends a larger message that you aren't a good place to shoplift from. Small crimes like these stack up quickly and every March people really used to try stuff. My mom once chased a guy who shoplifted a pair of shoes about a mile and a half until they dropped them.

[@mathiasrryba]

@@nstewart1623 my uncle used to work as a security man at a store. Some dude stole some shitty perfume. He chased the thief until he turned around with a knife. Uncle let him run away after that.

[@beckiverson1531]

it's certainly interesting here

[@Lolinkassi]

It was actually in the news in the UK the other day that the police urged the public to stop calling them about KFC's being closed due to the chicken shortages.

[@randomfools808]

Lolinkassi When KFC falls so will society!

[@Inopibus]

It just so happened in an area with a high black population...

[@himynameisweirdo7085]

how does that do with anything lol

[@jl8417]

HiMyNameIsWeirdo it's a common stereotype that black people love fried chicken. But I think chicken is tasty enough to transcend race

[@morrighanwermarn-arnburg7333]

There is a restaurant where I live called "Crack Chicken". They serve fried chicken. They are on Martin Luther King Jr Blvd. I bet MLK Jr would be proud.

[@juckya9660]

I'm impressed that he some how threw a bowling ball through a window while driving

[@dronzie]

Ikr! And retrieved it! .....wait

[@quoi3826]

YEET

[@CC-bu2gv]

i'd say both cars are probably stopped at lights...

[@anakruger2412]

@@CC-bu2gv Still, throwing a bowling ball is pretty impressive

[@ZombieNoodles13]

I’m assuming the guy was green when he did it...

[@piercedsiren]

*aggressively sell lemonade*

[@abramo7700]

Hey fuckhead, purchase this ice cold lemonade!

[@plokijum]

I’ve poisoned the water system in this area. The antidote is in this lemonade. You may purchase the privilege to your life at three hundred fifty dollars.

[@DioBrando-yk5up]

M1A1 Abrams 3rd Generation MBT ok how much

[@ohsweatbret]

M1A1 Abrams 3rd Generation MBT that’s New York City

[@jakesanchez6621]

Pierced French Siren People like you make me sick. I bet you speak French too.

[@bowwow6637]

Male Coyote: He's just standing there... *MENACINGLY*

[@deaventheking2331]

Nice

[@abramo7700]

*WEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO*

[@DioBrando-yk5up]

Ayayaya

[@Cheyne_TetraMFG]

I'm just thinking about the Simpsons episode where Homer had a coyote as a spirit guide, and this guy just didn't recognize that the coyote was trying to take him on a journey

[@ArcanineEspeon]

@@Cheyne_TetraMFG Yeah, a journey to learn how to be a pro at reacting to confused wild animals. 🌛🐺🌜: *"You must learn, young one, not to call the police..."*

[@SootHouse]

Is that soothouse?

[@rayafoxr3]

SootHouse first liker lol XD

[@TrueUniduck]

Nah dude I don't think so

[@NA-xj7jh]

Suck

[@pinguspinjew1027]

No it's run for the cube

[@brevintenney5817]

No this is Patrick

[@michaelahnotlob-iksrepok6572]

I remember during the summer when I was 8 years old my friends and I jumped the fence into a schoolyard to play on the equipment. A woman came out of the school and threatened to call the police on us for trespassing. Three 8-year-olds playing in a sandbox, and this woman was batty.

[@GippyHappy]

Lady threatened to call the cops on me and my friends for jumping on a mattress they'd tossed into the empty lot next to our apartments. Later we set up a little club house under a tree. She called the city and had the tree chopped down and all the garbage (our repurposed play things) taken away. We weren't loud or messy or anything. She was just a douche.

[@ArcanineEspeon]

@@GippyHappy Damn, she sounds like a villain in a kid's book. Next thing you know she'll be disappointed that the orphanage's talent show raised enough money to stay open. how old were you?

[@ArcanineEspeon]

Incredible. Did she seem senile and/or rich? The closest experience I've had to that, the lady was definitely senile. It was at my grandpa's retirement home and she was certain that I, the young teen selling Girl scout cookies, was selling illegally from an unlicensed business. She didn't exactly threaten to call the cops, but she DID tell me that WHEN the cops came, she would tell them right where to find me!

[@GippyHappy]

@@ArcanineEspeon I was in elementary school. Probably like 9.

[@1FenFen1]

haha! I remember when me and my siblings were in a similar situation! On a trip in a city my family was on, my older brother snuck into a random school for some water. They threatened to call the police on us for some reason

[@SorrowTV]

More like Soothouse feat. Sorrow TV amirite huehuehuehuehuehue

[@nein_nein_]

Sorrow TV hi

[@aidanhill690]

Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue

[@manastro1345]

Ooo you aren't even top comment lol

[@haveanice2669]

I didn't know you watch Sorrow TV

[@jeffeverman2138]

when are you guys just going to make a combined channel

[@SandyRiverBlue]

"Are you drunk ma'am?" "No I'm tired" "Are you sure you're not drunk ma'am?" "I said I'm tired" "Are you su-" "Tired! Tired, tired tired tired! I'm tired. Leave me alone." "You're really determined to be tired. Alright then have a great day"

[@subtotalaljar3620]

Someone needs to get in touch with the redwood populace and figure out if everything ok with there water or something...

[@roj0riot]

this is california. we dont have water

[@OxalisTuberosa]

👌

[@michaeldavidmontalvo2402]

I was born there

[@OxalisTuberosa]

Here, we don't have water. We have forest fires every two months

[@crystalsmith3315]

10/10

[@mcboi6050]

"a 911-" *Literally every american* NO NO NO

[@jeim376]

McBoi “Never forget the backslash!” Literally every programmer NO NO NO

[@justsomerobloxvids1791]

Void;typo made =stopfuckingworking end()

[@iowsiam492]

Well sorrowvis the only American there

[@plokijum]

Imma start reading 420 as four-two-zero.

[@JeevesAnthrozaurUS]

Harry Potter and The Case of Some Type of Smelly Air.

[@TheGolem105]

Jeeves Anthrozaur my favorite book

[@bryrinpedroncelli9362]

Jeeves Anthrozaur anchovies... ANCHOVIES!

[@AntiCuteness]

That smells smelly.

[@Silverwind87]

Castle My Astle It's great, but my personal favorite is The Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash.

[@bluchismoon]

No, it would make more sense for it to be a Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys mystery.

[@CWGminer]

"A pedestrian was reported after midnight wearing black pants and a white dress shirt" WAT I JUST WALKED HOME IN THE DARK WEARING THAT

[@virginlooser7451]

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL

[@jdsmoyai]

YOU'VE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE. WHAT SAY YOU IN YOUR DEFENSE

[@theanchorshat585]

+Enderdeadman Khajiit is innocent!

[@darkmega97]

STOP! YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW!

[@justaninnocentpomegranate3702]

FBI OPEN UP

[@stephaniejoobern1001]

When you pass gas but don't want people to know it was you: *"Someone threw smelly air through my door!"*

[@alexsimas5954]

Stephanie Joobern Lmao

[@parkerhilborn56]

*Enough comments for today*

[@stephaniejoobern1001]

Jar Jar Binks Interwebs my sincerest apologies

[@Silverwind87]

He was an airbender!

[@randomfools808]

Lolz

[@sebastiancox8391]

As a Californian I can verify that many reptiles are brought along to tennis matches

[@astromoonie]

sebas_for_twee and all the tennis matches are hosted by reptiles

[@wilfordgrimley4339]

Don't be proud of California.

[@Chunkboi]

Those things that are brought to the tennis matches are sometimes called “Senators.”

[@wyattmilliken3320]

​@@wilfordgrimley4339 cry harder

[@wilfordgrimley4339]

@@wyattmilliken3320 solid rebuttal ya skinny spined coward

[@kingstonb8130]

Calls per city: Belmont: 6 Redwood City: 10 Atherton: 20 Burlingame: 6 Millbrae: 1 Fremont: 1 Woodside: 1 San Mateo: 1 Foster City: 1 SunnyVale: 1 Campbell: 1 Craziest City- Atherton Chillest City- Millbrae tied with several others

[@mattojeda1491]

The bowling ball through 2 car windows was a legit reason to call the cops. That was in Sunnyvale. My hometown.

[@mel0dicHarp]

Legit Im from the Bay Area and always used to read the police blotter. The craziest calls always cane from either A) Atherton or B) Burlingame. My favorite was someone calling the cops about a SUSPICIOUS PLANT on their neighbor’s porch

[@MaximumPanda]

I live in Atherton, when a normal house goes for 5 million+ people are crazy rich people.

[@mikip282]

Atherton seems like it has the most crackheaded energy and I love

[@ArcanineEspeon]

"Chillest" is, of course, a relative description.

[@sth02]

4:20 'Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized ENTIRELY within your kitchen?!?!'

[@kiri1082]

STH yes

[@kiri1082]

Loïs Arends no

[@DrowzyDruid]

@@kiri1082 I love it when a meme comes together

[@metalheadeli]

James Baker right now

[@slendveny7191]

420

[@ItTurnsToStone]

The peanut burglar was three squirrels in a trench coat

[@FrancisR420]

plantperson in extremely small trench coat

[@jillandjack7631]

An uncatchable burglar

[@elizabethbunch1290]

One time, the police sergeant showed up to my parents’ house during dinner after someone claimed that my dad had kidnapped a woman and locked her in his work van. It turned out that while my dad was getting gas and listening to talk radio, this woman thought the radio caller was someone is distress and my dad was telling her to shut up. She then supposedly made eye contact with my dad and he snarled at her. She then went home and hours later, after working herself up into a tizzy about it, called the police. My dad is super friendly with the city police though because his heating and air business does work for the courthouse and jail so the sergeant just came by to double check everything was on the up and up. Needless to say we were all quite shocked to hear the accusations. But better safe than sorry I guess :p

[@zacharytracy3797]

Fukin' amazing dude.

[@BetaDude40]

I dunno, just sounds like an elaborate cover story for your dad's secret human trafficking business. /shrug

[@justanormalfreak6855]

The only semi-embarassing time I called the cops was cause I thought someone's garage was on fire. They were actually burning brush on their front lawn. Sadly, that was actually illegal in our area and they got in trouble. :(

[@snakeysnake758]

JustANormalFreak Shouldn't you have called the fire brigade?

[@justanormalfreak6855]

Snakey Snake I guess technically I could have called the fire dept directly, but around here if there's any emergency you just call 911, it goes to the cops first, and if it's more of a fire or ambulance issue they just send one of those for you. I watched from across the highway and only a fire truck showed up, no police.

[@mgc9965]

JustANormalFreak So.... did they found out it was you who called them?

[@justanormalfreak6855]

MGC 996 Sort of. I was at work when this happened. They knew it was "someone from the store," but not me in particular. They never stopped by to say anything about it that I'm aware of.

[@erismason3441]

Whoops. At least your heart was in the right place?

[@lakamokolaka]

Why is no one asking why most of these happened in redwood? Did the missing lizard from the tennis court get into the water supply or something?

[@nejinaji]

atherton, where they call the cops if the wind blows a little too hard.

[@mattojeda1491]

We paid $7 million dollars for this house!!! Everything needs to be perfect!!!! Even though they didn't pay $7 mil for the house they've probably been there since way before it was that expensive. They're just entitled white fucking elitist wannabe's who literally have nothing else to do.

[@JohnSmith-hy8jj]

They call the cops twice if it's smelly.

[@sctr05]

Theh would call the cops if they saw a squirrel running sideways to get up a tree

[@ArturGlass.C]

Since one guy literally called for stepping outside on his balcony (not because he was stuck just because the door got closed) I do believe some people might actually call for that reason. It doesn't even seem like a stretch at this point.

[@shadowxxe]

_POLICE COME QUICK MY GARDEN GNOME WAS DESTROYED BY THE WIND I DONT KNOW IF HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT P-P-PLEASE COME QUIIIICKKK!!!!_

[@stephaniejoobern1001]

Once I called the police because I saw a bear in the school gym. Or it could have been the coach. I dunno.

[@radiohead3852]

I'm a bear. An un- *bear* -able human.

[@jayzenitram9621]

Was the coach a large gay man? If so, you saw both a coach and a bear.

[@Brickertown]

I stared at the upper half of this comment for a good minute trying to guess what the joke was

[@DragonMaiden77]

Jay Zenitram goddamn it you stole my joke

[@gottalovethatanime5]

You got 5 top comments on the same freaking video w0w

[@Jluyoungzone]

Where is Redwood City and what is wrong with the people that live there?

[@brentrichards4160]

It's a city halfway between San Francisco and San Jose in California. That whole area is known for its weirdos.

[@karstais]

Brent Richards and the SJW

[@brentrichards4160]

Pēteris Zvirgzdiņš I grouped them in with the weirdos.

[@Sarah-lo9pd]

Pēteris Zvirgzdiņš it’s actually not SJW. Most people working In tech are libertarian

[@andyisaspy]

Lots of college students, too. Near Stanford.

[@muney2874]

"Ay you! Want some fockin lemonade! Ay!" Aggressive lemonade selling if i ever seen it

[@homelessvillager592]

Well, 'Land of Enchantment' is the nickname for New Mexico. Maaayyyybbeeee he was asking directions in a very inefficient manner.

[@mrdolson2734]

new mexico? whatever happened to old mexico?

[@emmalie8807]

It got an upgrade. Like the new 3DS. New Mexico, The land of Enchantment. Now with bigger Chile peppers. 🌶 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

[@iprobablywontseeyourreply.7193]

Mr Dolson uh, old Mexico is...Mexico. Same for New England, New York, New Hampshire, New Jersey. America was once known as “The New World”. It’s usually in reference to the ppl who live there and where they came from.

[@AnnikaScully]

@@iprobablywontseeyourreply.7193 Ever seen a joke? I've heard they're very funny.

[@Ben-dz9uu]

@@AnnikaScully No she hasn't, they tend to fly over her head

[@lepsonical4763]

Mr. Pickles is a sandwich shop. It's also a gory tv show. The more you know.

[@lepsonical4763]

Some fucker used my idea first. I shall get revenge.

[@fuckface9107]

Lepsonical I fucking love your pfp I just imagine your pfp slowly loosing sanity because someone used their idea

[@lepsonical4763]

It's fake aquaman from a Justice League parody video from AOK.

[@lepsonical4763]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/h2a7mZKJndVri7c

[@michaeldavidmontalvo2402]

Mr pickels is a great sandwich chain

[@RianeBane]

9:14 The police were probably called because a passerby thought she might be dead. Some people attempt suicide by waiting for exhaust gases to build up in a parked car that's turned on.

[@therealsm106]

dont they need to be in a closed area like a garage or something for that to work though?

[@arizonagreenbee]

@@therealsm106 no one said she was smart

[@therealsm106]

@@arizonagreenbee good point

[@sianchild]

Or they might have thought they'd had a heart attack and died or something.

[@koiifsh]

i know of someone who went that way

[@Darkfreed0m]

California is like a different universe

[@colinwrye]

Another Channel for real

[@lex7355]

It’s fun, shit ton a earthquakes.In and Out, other things.

[@michaelmay5109]

Where's the Freedom? Can confirm.

[@sucker4sucker]

can confirm. its fuckin wild here

[@johnathanbryan5053]

Help im stuck in a different universe where i can take the magazine out of my rifle or get a ccw without getting harrassed

[@coainc]

yeah sorry boss i can’t make it to work today there’s a bloody squirrel at my door

[@wilfordgrimley4339]

moonlightdraws oh you watched the first two minutes of the video. Thats good we were all waiting for confirmation

[@coainc]

you sound offended? it was funny to me and my bad taste of humour so i commented it, and i don't think that should bother you

[@wilfordgrimley4339]

moonlightdraws statement with a question mark? No way to make that look smart... Anyway thanks for letting us know you watched some off the video with your dry ass joke. I give you points for trying but you're a female i can't expect much

[@wilfordgrimley4339]

moonlightdraws the truth doesn't make me a misogynist. The fact that women can't do anything right is just that. A fact. You don't think it's weird that the only industry a woman can accel over a man is massage therapy? Have you ever seen a woman roofer? No because roofing is actual work. You get paid 70 percent because that's how much work you do next to a man. Hell you're supposed to be good at cooking at least but even there men are better at being chefs. You're an incubator. Can you think of any other purpose you might have?

[@franny6221]

Dickwad Orphan Crippler what is your fucking problem? sorry just wondering

[@heliophilia5888]

lmao living in burlingame Im almost 90% sure I bought lemonade from the aggressive kids.

[@michaeldavidmontalvo2402]

Fr fr?

[@faniefrikkie6868]

We gotta hear this story

[@Grumplebumple]

Tell us the tale!

[@alexsm3882]

How aggressive are we talking here?

[@haleybarve6398]

@@alexsm3882 well obviously they've killed him so very aggressive

[@Lingx_Cats]

The moon one reminded me of a story I was told when I was younger; My dad had just gotten a telescope for whatever reason, and he was trying it out. His mom asked to try it, and after looking around for a moment she asked "Why does the moon has an engraving in it?". My dad looked through the telescope where she was looking, aaaand it was a street lamp.

[@penguindp4379]

I find this video extremely insensitive and vile. How would you feel if people sat around joking about squrrels preventing you from leaving your house if you were a victim of squirrel crime?

[@watermelonhead8054]

I agree completely. Squirrel crime is no joke.

[@bumponalog5001]

We need stricter squirrel control

[@Lesaloote]

The squirrels are victims of their own society. The majority of them are under the influence or selling to support their families.

[@randomfools808]

Squirrel Harassment. No laughing matter.

[@basedokadaizo]

Sophia Insanity these damn squirrels are just hooligans. we should shoot them on sight

[@blackalgae370]

I'd love to say, only in California, but when I worked at directv one of my customers called the cops on me and told them I was talking to myself. They didn't understand that when I was looking at them and saying things like "Did you do anything special for thanksgiving?" I was talking to them.

[@leannyly]

Yesterday someone in the UK called the police because KFC had run out of chicken. I shit you not.

[@AmaryInkawult]

Leanne in the US, some fatass tried to sue a restaurant for false advertising. How? He tries to convince the court the restaurant lied about their "all you can eat" special was a lie when he devoured every available fish the restaurant had. After the court closed the case because the fatass was also a dumbass, fatass decided to strike at the restaurant alone.

[@stephaniejoobern1001]

I've heard of the "chicken famine" going on over there.

[@LucasofJesus]

You had the opportunity to use I chick you not instead of I shit you not.

[@justtony6081]

Mr pickles is actually a fantastic sandwich shop.

[@colinmillar9405]

Arrow Head Yeah. Google it.

[@Dead_Bot]

A Smol Pupper i think it was a shop more they reported on than a weird show

[@technicality]

Literally was just about to comment that, and then I found it's the top comment. Quality sandwiches indeed 👌

[@comicallylargespoon9426]

What state and what town Mr. Pickles must be found

[@the-real-big-vic7359]

MR. SAD FACE in the bay yes funny that all this happened there

[@drulelija]

in the uk someone called the police because they didnt get enough sprinkles on their cupcake

[@OfficialNube]

Well I bet that's because the sprinkles would have been called "Hundreds and Thousands" and that's how many sprinkles they expected to have.

[@jet3296]

No we call them sprinkles

[@stephaniejoobern1001]

*Help! Police! I can't find my glasses!* _what do you mean I'm "wearing them"?_

[@doubletwelve4116]

why are you commenting twice?

[@stephaniejoobern1001]

Pootos Dispenserus I was bored:)

[@daisythevixen6670]

Something like this actually happened to me in elemantery school. I did *not* call the police or anyone, but I was running around about half an hour looking for my sports bag, which I was holding in my hand the whole time...

[@justdexMUSIC]

You need better lenses

[@bugatti_cuda5959]

You comment way too much...

[@kabelmarder2760]

Why is nearly every incident in Burlingame or Redwood City? WHAT HAPPENS IN THERE??!

[@alienkeef6488]

Mad One and in Belmont 😂😂

[@justusalfaro1522]

Mad One they're all in the same area

[@mrwednesday687]

I'm from the area and I can tell you nothing good

[@Chromebeetle_]

I'm from Burlingame and honestly its just full of teenagers with nothing better to do

[@timkelley761]

Mad One petty shit, apparently

[@WittyDroog]

I live in Redwood City, these are the terrors we live through on a daily basis

[@votecthulhu9378]

Holy shit the police has to deal with so much crap

[@milk-el8vq]

*have

[@asovietpotato1450]

+Jesus Christ r/iamverysmart

[@milk-el8vq]

@@asovietpotato1450 yup correcting spelling means you have peak intelligence

[@asovietpotato1450]

+Jesus Christ da

[@PikminFan4]

@@milk-el8vq I mean you replied to him 7 months after he posted that comment, c'mon.

[@annafreedland]

These are all in the Bay Area, and I can assure you, this is an accurate depiction of how we live.

[@Lichen8404]

annafreedland Bay Area FL..?

[@Lichen8404]

Instructions unclear

[@jmaxag5419]

Krystal Meyer Bay Area California. To be clearer, West Bay.

[@TheEppicJr]

Silicon Vally would prob make more sense to these ppl

[@Lichen8404]

JMaxAG ohokthanksforclarifying bye

[@wolfofice7466]

I love how a good amount of the burglar calls were from Redwood City. They have some weird crime there

[@ohaidenny9852]

1, 2, 3, 4 Someone threw smelly air in my store 6:21 r/thathappened

[@rejectbedward8000]

Guan Yin that’s not how you use r/thathappened

[@morrighanwermarn-arnburg7333]

Look up "Swedish Women Presses Charges Against Fart Rapist"

[@Qwee-ct9zo]

Guan Yin dumbass these are calls written down by a trusted source.

[@saltedeggs8826]

I SMELL A SMELLY SMELL

[@ochayo9414]

1, 2, 3, 4 I was at that point before 5, 6, 7, 8 Your comment was some time too late

[@NicholasBoyko]

the best part is that mr pickles really is the only defining feature of belmont

[@secretcrushong9882]

aggressive kids were selling lemonade

[@benthadragon]

*AY BITCH U WANT SUM FUCKING LEMONADE?!?!!!!!*

[@koiifsh]

aggressive kids were selling lemonade

[@ballzz100]

Aggressive kids were selling lemonade

[@keepmelucid333]

Redwood City seems to have a lot of crime

[@Woozie894]

Lucas and Ten Can take my soul it doesn't though it's peaceful , to that's why you see these dumbass crimes instead of real ones

[@AbbySugiyama]

As a Californian, I 100% believe these all happened

[@madchencraig5395]

I love that you love nct dream 💖

[@jordananderson2728]

Hey, Sorrow: "/" is forward slash "\" is backslash Thanks for the videos!

[@someguy4384]

9\11

[@theonionqueen3519]

Shut the fuck up

[@jordananderson2728]

@@theonionqueen3519 Look, I'm sorry your mum doesn't love you, but you don't need to take it out on strangers on the internet.

[@TheKeitaNobodyAskedFor]

"BACKSLASH!"

[@GumSkyloard]

@@jordananderson2728 damn

[@soulsilversnorlax1336]

"Unless there's a backslash" Welp, 9/11 is 9\11 from now on. We must obey Sorrow. #RespectTheBackslash

[@Silverwind87]

What is 9 out of 11?

[@warbossgegguz679]

Albert Nave .82

[@plaidplatapus]

Archer Gaming lmao no

[@Shadow_Of_Man]

Honestly what I thought he was talking about for a moment there

[@gameplayer5168]

STOP DISRESPECTING 0.818 IT WAS A VERY TRAGIC DAY

[@funky5735]

i thought this was soothouse video

[@seanmdpa]

I good way to tell the difference is if there's singing at the end.

[@largechurro2321]

I can confirm as a Californian living in the Bay Area.

[@orangegeckoart6658]

Yup I live near sf and see some strange stuff

[@euphoria_7477]

Wow Sorrow, your British character accents are getting pretty good!

[@scheissetreppenwitz369]

I'm so glad nobody said anything to you

[@zacharyplante1070]

As someone from California, is this how British people feel when we try and pronounce your city names?

[@Brynwyn123]

Zachary Plante It's worse when you do ours because you intentionally spell yours wrong. Ours are weird because of the thousands of years of language evolution

[@Sailorzz]

"San Madio" lol

[@nedisahonkey]

Al Funcoot You need to learn more about linguistics if you think that British English is "correct" and American English is "wrong". Prescriptivism like that hasn't been a factor in linguistics for the better part of 50 years even among stodgy British academics. Also do you think that California and the languages spoken their haven't had thousands of years of language evolution?

[@Ma5jay5dontxdoxthat]

"Burlingham" what gets me is they say it right sometimes but say it like that other times lol

[@catfood6855]

Well a lot of the mispronounced names were Spanish

[@CalsGirl97]

Things people in the U.K get cops called on for: a joke

[@MrOrdosan]

posting memes

[@kainebishop3970]

Ordosan Buttering toast in public is also taken very seriously and is criminal.

[@GameyRaccoon]

Call 999

[@R.T.and.J]

Showing nazi propaganda to a dog

[@misterzack7850]

Acid, tv license evasion, and jokes about muslims.

[@kylixion_6359]

October 9th, 2019 - Man drowns after trying to high-five a dolphin. Family now suing the state of California.

[@theretrogamer7779]

Kylixion _ October 10th 2020 Man rapes a chicken because "cars are for pussies"

[@okthen7236]

Poor Jotaro

[@whirlingstars]

The Retro Gamer *E S T I M A T E D C O S T : 40,000,000$*

[@BlakeGeometrio]

ok then I was about to comment something similar. Lol.

[@terryfuldsgaming7995]

Kylixion _ man rapes sister to death - right now all across the midwest... man gets penis bitten off while making love to an alligator - Florida 2x last year. Ny: wall street. The uk: teeth... hmm, California's not looking so bad...

[@Space_Beees]

God, I love my name

[@nepne5450]

d u d e fholy shit

[@ryanoat]

Am I missing something I don't get it

[@gordonfreemanthesemendemon1805]

I don't get it either. Instead, I give it. I give it all.

[@faraazhanif7378]

Gordon Freeman The Semen Demon go to 16:40

[@gordonfreemanthesemendemon1805]

You forcefully gave it to me. I did not ask for this. This is rape.

[@levigraves4833]

Oh god I live in Redwood City. I promise, we are not ultra white or rich I feel ashamed

[@flamingfoxx]

I used to live the next city over. You are wrong good sir, you are wrong

[@amandapohland5063]

lol thats how the rest of the bay sees u

[@justanedit001]

Redwood City has some really crazy citizens

[@friedrice4015]

"A 9/11 caller..." Oh god. Oh god, no. Noooo

[@itsamemario1772]

I don't get it

[@amain9638]

I dont get it either

[@ILikeMints]

don't know where y'all are from, but in the usa, "nine eleven" exclusively refers to the terrorist attacks on september 11th 2001. the emergency phone line is pronounced as "nine one one". the backslash differentiates the two. hope that helps

[@itsamemario1772]

ILikeMints Ohhhh, I knew about the attack but I couldn't fit it into the joke.

[@arsyn4504]

It's a me Mario how the fuck

[@durdleduc8520]

What kind of things do people in the UK call the cops for? Guy 1: having a knife Guy 2: being stabbed Guy 3: *_loud noises_*

[@aa-sp3xx]

i mean

[@aa-sp3xx]

all of those could be the same incident just different perspectives

[@aym855]

Coyote one actually makes sense, usually when coyotes or wolves roam into the city, especially during daylight, they usually have rabies. The guy made a good call.

[@GrizzlyGarage]

I love soothouse! I'm glad you guys collabed on this channel this time haha

[@davidavila1376]

The Slow Show ,

[@Kapin05]

PLOT TWIST Mr Tumnis has a portal to Enchantmant Land in the basement of his buisiness. When you go there, you'll return in a wacky state - if you return at all, that is. A tennis player went delusional after coming out and brought his lizard to a tennis game. A man bought some pants for $4000 then immediately lost them. And the man who had the police called on him wants to go there because he's a journalist. Problem is, he hit up the wrong shop - the portal is actually in the Mr Pickles store down the road. The woman called the cops because Enchantment Land is forbidden (that's why there's only one portal) and this dude dun goofed. BOOM. Write a novel on it. Mr Tumnis and the Portal of Forbidden Dreams. Theatrical release coming soon.

[@joshthebrawler]

Kra Z Kapin May I use something like this?

[@bluebeka2458]

*insert news song here*

[@mar2d258]

I actually really appreciate you taking the time to do this. good job.

[@godsclown4419]

Beautiful

[@asrieldreemurr9968]

Why is this not a movie yet?!

[@anotherwildeboy]

The opening statement irony as people in the UK were calling the police over KFC being shut

[@nickrustyson8124]

It's almost like there is idiots everywhere.

[@James-mn3re]

Watch one of the ridiculous ones have serious backstories, like the boyfriend was a master at killing people with bananas, and had over 900 confirmed kills.

[@River2384]

Weird Person Man Thing. Have you ever been hit with a very green banana? I'd believe it! Lol

[@1assassyn]

@@wilddogspam 🤣🤣🤣

[@jarjarfetishist9674]

Would like but at 69 likes ATM

[@KaichouClips]

Sounds like that banana fight scene from Singam 123

[@mreid86]

Y'all always seem to just have the best time together, listening to your collabs is the best

[@CarTierlists]

Oh no... I live in the area where these were taken from.

[@dylanbradfordgreenlee331]

Best team up EVER

[@toxiclad2887]

I like how the reports say “a male” instead of “a man” like its a nature documentary

[@TomorrowWeLive]

8:10 that's a straight-up Mr Bean sketch

[@samwell8]

Tomorrow We Live. Oswald Mosely? British Union of Fascists? Get your Nazism out of my country

[@TomorrowWeLive]

Qunop // Gaming & More make me bitch

[@samwell8]

Tomorrow We Live. Oh my god I am so scared of this kid hiding behind his monitor. Jesus this must be the hardest kid on the planet, I'm so scared I should go into the witness protection program to avoid this obvious hard man. Fuck right off kid, your a meme in my friend group now.

[@pleasekillme7637]

Ok so let me analyse the autism, we got a "nazi" and another "nazi" getting yelled at what by I assume to be a pussy 12 year old try to be "just like my sjw mom" by yelling at some other guy because of his profile. Also the "Get out of my country" shit is equally as stupid due to the fact that he has every right to be there even if his fucking thoughts don't align with yours. Please calm the fuck down and get ready for school to tomorrow or else mommy to s gonna yell at you for not being in bed by your bed time.

[@givemeachance7856]

ok what the fuck is going on in this comment chain

[@unlikelysalmon786]

*Hey, Soothouse, Sorrow TV wants his conte-* oh, wait...

[@UAVizUp]

*RESPECT THE BACKSLASH* *_never forget_*

[@buckowens2841]

I used to live in California within walking distance of some stores. One of those stores had a sign hung up that said "Computer Parts and Sexy Dresses". Sadly, I never actually went inside to confirm that they sold both computer parts and sexy dresses. Oh, and a shitty old motel burned down as well. Pretty sure it was caused by one of the homeless people that like to hang out there.

[@lunedez]

Buckowens Aka some random guy What area of California did you live in..?

[@buckowens2841]

ThePunLeader Mountain View

[@AmaryInkawult]

How is California still in one piece with all this insanity?!

[@lunedez]

PhantomDragon1992 eh, it’s ok for the most part. It’s just the small towns that sucks

[@risepuffs]

Yo is Redwood City okay?

[@Masonicore]

Lunaa The Hooman no

[@2good2bu7]

We're pretty good, thanks for asking.

[@risepuffs]

Eternities King That's good to know, this video had me worried for a sec

[@dennisz1252]

Fun fact: EA HQ located at Redwood City, you can guess what happened to them.

[@risepuffs]

Dennisz125 *I fucking choked on my frosted flakes--*

[@DaimyoD0]

6:39 Oh god, SorrowTV calls the slash a backslash? What is he, a local news broadcaster? Also, can you imagine a world in which the attack on the World Trade Center was commemorated with "9\11?" Oh the humanity.

[@MikeMartGames]

As a Former Redwood City Resident: there's more things to worry in that city than anything reported, just saying

[@JustinY.]

Featuring Soothouse? You mean featuring yourself?

[@theinventor4537]

Yeah but there a multiple people in soothouse and only one sorrow, so the joke is about the fact the majority of the content creators in the vid- Fuck it. Whoooooooooooooooooooooosh

[@echo8933]

r/whooooosh

[@arandomr3462]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000🅾️🅾️🅾️🅾️🅾️🅾️🅾️🅾️🅾️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️sh

[@slendveny7191]

Shut the f*ck up, justin.

[@ratherrazzOWO]

Found him

[@mono.isgtds]

Sorrow tv needs to read more lines in the bowling ball attacker voice.

[@jasperturck5628]

My first world problem is that you don’t upload enough

[@staticsyndrome8654]

The best part of being kinda-early is 1) knowing your comment will drown down 2) seeing everyone who commented and knowing they haven’t finished the video yet (I know I haven’t lol)

[@honeyd6686]

Static Syndrome have you noe

[@TheRetnet]

The best part is seeing all desperate comments trying to get likes by being early

[@staticsyndrome8654]

TheRetnet self-doubt replenished

[@staticsyndrome8654]

TheRetnet I also actually legit don’t comment a lot for this reason

[@TheRetnet]

Static Syndrome oof

[@cambria_smith]

As a Californian, I can confirm these types of calls are indeed true.

[@kangoftherang7468]

My man's baking his feces? Get that in a frying pan if you know what's good for ya. -David, 2018

[@bfnvalley]

“What do people get the cops called on them for in the UK?” Internet Jokes.

[@odysmar619]

Too true :(

[@adamcummings20]

Teaching your dog to raise his paw

[@bakakagaku]

Don't forget telling the truth.

[@kilimangan]

For opinios

[@gametype8227]

Low Standards chicken shortage in kfc

[@xylusia2433]

"FRUIT has been DISAPPEARING FROM A T R E E !" "W 0 T"

[@fuzzymilk]

*They were playing Dragonball duh*

[@muddywater5036]

I'm Doug Dale Dimmadome Dimmadale Dimsdome do dome dimma dimma dome owner of the doug dims dimma dale dimmer dims dome do dimm dims dale dimma dims dale dimma dome thank for for locating my long lost son Dale Dimmadome imdome dimma dome dimsdale do dimmer dome doug dims dimmer dome air to the dims dome dims dome dimma dale dale dimma do doug dimma dims dome dimma dome fortune If there's is anything i can ever do to repay your kindess, just ask. Doug Dimmadome owner of the dougs dome dimma dome. Not right. Not right? That's right. Doug dummadome dimma dims dome dale dome dimma doug dale do dougs dimma doug dimma dome dimma dome dimma dome owner of the dimma dome dims dale dimma dome doug dale dome dales dimma dado doug dims dimma dome dale dimma dome dims dale dimma dimma dimma dimma dimma dimma dome. The same doug dimma dome owner of the dimsdale dimma dome where they're showing crash nebula. On ice? Yes! Not right. Not right? That's right! Timmy my name is Doug dummadome dimma dims dome dale dome dimma doug dale do dougs dimma doug dimma dome dimma dome dimma dome owner of the dimma dome dims dale dimma dome doug dale dome dales dimma dado doug dims dimma Dale Dimmadome imdome dimma dome dimsdale do dimmer dome doug dims dimmer dome.

[@freakerevil]

I feel threatened

[@lemon7873]

I'm offended

[@jakedanielsen4512]

bleach fetish Air?

[@aidantruax9716]

Is this how you assert dominance?

[@Lex_Doe]

Is this from the fairly odd parents? ; 0 ;

[@VTPPGLVR]

I worked at a community services call center for about a year. Our most memorable and/or frequent calls from our most frequent callers? (These. Are. Adults.) - “My ground shakes every day!” “Make the airplanes stop flying over me!” “Tell the government to stop putting water under my house!” - “What time is it?” “What time is it in Zimbabwe?” “Who’s the best princess?” “How much does postage cost to Spain?” - A woman talking in circles until she finally said she wanted a massager delivered to her house for a bodily area and I will leave it at that. - A man asking for books with pictures of Jesus Christ being crucified so he could do something in the NC-17/XXXXXX range. I could imagine many of the callers doing any, or all, of the things in this video.

[@supposedlyaperson2168]

Bruh, so many snitches

[@PoisonedRedBerry]

Not enough stitches

[@sanriogworl555]

Snitches get stitches

[@nib1448]

Saïd Isaev hey if my salads were stolen, I'm calling

[@jasperpuccinelli5856]

Elijah u a snitch fuck a snitch bitch

[@dracson237]

form less if I understood this, I would agree with you

[@thatkatkrazykid4742]

Having a knife? Being stabbed? Loud noises?

[@あなたはこれが何を意味するのかを]

7:18 A female told police that someone had thrown some type of smelly ear through her door.

[@JecIsBec]

Redwood City is seeming like the most dangerous place on Earth rn

[@jarjarfetishist9674]

Rice Machine whooosh

[@amegardenia8296]

@@jarjarfetishist9674 r u sure bro?

[@lewis3224]

They call the cops for throwing plates. I found that out the hard way.

[@mahiruhanayo]

This might be one of my favorite videos ever. I love it. I hope a sequel is made some day.

[@fruitylooney348]

That moment when Soothouse and Sorrow TV upload on the same day. We been truly blessed