[Space Station 13] the slow rolling snailocalypse

[@danielbrower4814]

For those that don't know, Goonstation removed the Chemistry job because they managed to make hull-breaching explosives with no ingredients other than vending machine potato chips and soda. This prompted a review of the Chemical Mixer spaghetti-code, and drove the admins to drink. There is lingering trauma over this.

[@bthsr7113]

I am impressed annoyed, terrified, and confused all at one.

[@danielbrower4814]

The reaction post from Pope Crunch, who I believe was either the head coder or admin at the time, was particularly memorable. Among other things, he stated "I would like to thank Jack Daniels for helping me through this trying time." I'm reasonably sure they either reworked the chemistry system from scratch or from a much earlier revision after that. The people that looked at it considered it a programing horror show when they actually went into it.

[@lordfirebeard8569]

But... HOW

[@danielbrower4814]

@@lordfirebeard8569 That is a very good question. The coders didn't have an answer. Thus they decided to go with the axe.

[@S71xx]

Pfffft pussies, if you can't handle a few breached hulls then you have no buisness in space.

[@Starman_Dx]

"A wizard is going around starting fires" Oh god, Duncan Fisher is on the station!

[@theblackpantslegion]

I cast HORSE EXPL...*BOOM*

[@awittyusernamepleaselaugh7481]

Throw him into the reactor. Instant hellburn.

[@WastelandSeven]

When I opened it up and saw the thumbnail I heard Duncan Fisher in my head saying, "I cast fireball!" LOL

[@WastelandSeven]

This comment needs more likes. LOL

[@Rellana1]

I'm disappointed that you didn't think to make unstable mutagen grenades,if those are possible..

[@mr.dinklemen2445]

Ahh Space Station 13: When Sci-Fi RPG mixes with meth, hard liquor, and severe cognitive deficiencies.

[@calevineuh]

also moths and condoms Captains

[@mistercheese1887]

and the occasional clown.

[@WastelandSeven]

And now snails.

[@ethanhiggins5766]

Don’t forget space lube

[@KopperNeoman]

Space lube would be even better if people remembered the Walk button exists.

[@irradiatedslagheap7933]

I remember watching an old, old episode where you, as a chemist, slammed out no less than five grenades in as many minutes, each with an entirely unique and deadly effect. Then something involving a clown happened and you exploded, taking out half the main hallway.

[@theblackpantslegion]

That . . . does happen. They overhauled and ruined chemistry since then on that station

[@Laughing_Dragon]

@@theblackpantslegion I remember all the times you make grenades, and then something/someone kills you or fucks you over and you NEVER got to use the awesome sounding grenades, XD! depressing times, was hoping to see those grenades in action lol.

[@soapbrush1665]

I'm impressed with your knowledge of Mime biology. Many do not realize that the Common Mime is a highly derived species of mollusk, though the trails of slime that they leave are a dead give away.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Sometimes a man learns a thing

[@greatswordofvictory1271]

Ah yes, the famous "chemist who forgot how to do his job uses the internet to relearn everything on the job"

[@bthsr7113]

Legit strategy even in real life.

[@nikushim6665]

If it makes you feel any better i have seen nurses googling how to do their jobs on ipads all the time when i worked at a hospital.

[@LukeAps]

I just spent an hour watching a guy play a chemist. And stand in a single room. Then watch as the station gets overwhelmed by snails. This game is something.

[@sludgebuninsky]

Space Station 13 is quite the adventure.

[@xexzersy]

its the space ship maker man

[@jazzco4871]

escargotnia

[@theblackpantslegion]

this made me hurt inside

[@ashertheprophet9601]

My bones....

[@KMCA779]

Don't listen to Tex, as he likes to say he's "just an asshole." That's brilliant and makes you a hero.

[@ChillyWing]

I am glad to see that totally normal human Allen is back

[@TrollOfReason]

Like Allen, I, too, don't rely on nitrogen to "breathe"

[@theblackpantslegion]

very normal, such wow

[@psydocthepsyduck8382]

Thank you for your encouragement

[@csmead209]

Allen is the best!

[@nicedayright4064]

One of my proudest chemistry moments was smoke grenades filled with "liquid electricity", which electrocuted you from the inside if you breathed the smoke.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Electrosmoke, nice hiss

[@mikebenjamin3114]

feel asleep last night watching a tex talks battletech video, dreamt of the blackwatch all night, woke up to the sound of bagpipes playing in my head, thanks tex 10/10 would do again

[@theblackpantslegion]

Most welcome

[@Matzebrei85]

Interesting coincidence. I watched the TTB playlist the last 2 days, got through the Amaris Civil War last night as well (at least part 2, 1 might have been monday evening). Need to watch more.

[@Mr.Efreet]

Ah another episode of As The Station turns. This week's episode: Dawn of the breaking Bad snails.

[@theblackpantslegion]

It is a strange opera almost

[@Mr.Efreet]

@@theblackpantslegion each round is one unique spacemans chaos driven Opera.

[@onlyLowen]

I lost several days at once when I was on vacation to this game; let me tell you it looks like nothing particular especially if you are a graphic addict, but this game gives you that special something only SS13 can give you! (I hope that SS13 and Unitystation - both on Steam) will be hitting it hard in success. This game needs more love and especially better, more modern coding of the old stuff. And thanks for rekindling my love for this game, BlackPantsLegion!

[@theblackpantslegion]

You're most welcome sir.

[@hinty6424]

Shuttle drops out of warp. "Uh.. wasn't there supposed to be a station here?"

[@TotemSP2]

We all have those kinds of days. Everyone is bugging you for something, Your department changed some system policies around, Snails take over, an explosion engulfs the entire station. A perfect combination to make you feel like you've lost your edge... but for just one day. Come back swinging, my friend! Knock out those chems!

[@TotemSP2]

Also, there was a wizard, but really? Now there's a guy that had a bad day today.

[@leafpelt15]

(just started watching)"whats the worst that could happen" *windows pop up alert sound*

[@Jason-de9mq]

I hear discount Dan's rent-a-nuke is a great way to deal with a snail problem, or most any problem.

[@johnbrearley9791]

Exponential snail reproduction leaves station uninhabitable, forces evacuation. - Nanotrasen Today

[@MrGrimsmith]

You and I have different definitions of "chemistry". Mine mostly involve pretty flames and explosions. Sometimes they're even deliberate.

[@terminator6267]

*_If there were to be a metal that nobody discovered until now. It'd either be called Texium or Cargonium._*

[@DaltonAcosta_AmarasStory]

“It’s not necessary, it’s just very wise” excellent Tex quote.

[@theblackpantslegion]

I've been quoted a lot, and its odd

[@tranz2deep]

Does anyone else, when Tex asks _THAT QUESTION,_ suddenly feel like they're watching the Boys about to corkscrew in yet again back when they were on Top Gear? Jeremy: Well, how hard can it be? Richard: Oh, how I've missed the pang of dread every time you say the words _"How hard can it be?"_

[@Dantos4]

I've just discovered you, your videos are fantastic man. Your voice is amazing. You're so calm and relaxing. I find it very easy to wind down for sleep while listening, really appreciate it and the knowledge you have on this game

[@theblackpantslegion]

Welcome aboard!

[@RoKKr023i]

IT IS A GOOD PAIN.

[@weldonwin]

*DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!?*

[@sirflufybuns]

Seconds away from snail safety only to be snatched away by a giant fucking bomb, truly tragic.

[@Cryten0]

This was one of those classic horror moments of SS13. Loved it.

[@TheStratovarian]

If only the chef had stepped up and made delicious treats for everyone. Alas, it was a missed opportunity to save the day.

[@Plastikdoom]

You just needed some frenchies aboard, never woulda had that snail problem to begin with, ahaha!

[@leXie1337_chan]

"Nobody needs me," he says, as Allen's PDA-AI frantically calls him for help...

[@SFred104]

About the snails... i wasn't the mastermind behind it, but i was working WITH him to bring snails profit to Cargonia... he was a SPACE bird, we did a good work =p Also thank you for liking My Little Cargonian ^-^ its my usual assistant in cargo.

[@theblackpantslegion]

The snails ruined everything. I blame Belgium.

[@Samueluriasmort]

I was the QM that round. At first I did not mind the snail hatchery, it seemed like an innocent fun to give everyone a snail helmet. Later I did not believe frogs would really eat the snails, but they were actually better than the flamethrowers.

[@SFred104]

OH OH I JUST REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE VOX MASTERMIND BEHIND THE SNAILS!!! Its Kahyakahyikahkiyaya, I think

[@katarjin]

I like My little Cargonian...for obvious reasons...someday I'll boot up SS13 and fail gloriously.

[@Gasmask15]

I remember the last time I tried vg chem, managed to gas myself with bleach trying to make cleaner for some guy.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Just another day on space station 13

[@mangolad7731]

For our snail overlords.

[@Ketrian]

Love your videos, Tex. You're the reason I've heard of SS13 in more than a passing mention, and the reason I show up on GoonStation when I have free time.

[@gusbus8659]

Love seeing ss13 content

[@andmcd1996]

Gotta say, the ability to just drop into a role feet first and excel at it is one hell of a skill! (I wish i had that trying out Mining)

[@knolden]

This desrves to go on the best of list SNAILPOCALYYYYPSE!

[@anonymouskultist]

before anyone who doesn't know asks, the credits song is Carmen Miranda's ghost from the album Carmen Miranda's ghost. kzbin.info/www/bejne/embTaYyencaJoqM I prefer the version on free fall and other delights however. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qJfJmZiopdKlp68

[@dalewhite5216]

that was great love the snailpoclypse

[@DoctorBlocks]

Tex, never stop playing space man. I love watching you play and I one day hope to cross paths with you across stations. I hope you're doing okay and keep making great content.

[@madcat789]

The Snails shall rise again.

[@spacemeat2001]

as someone that works in a pharmacy I can kind of relate to this.

[@mikecampos1193]

It nice seeing tex toying with space.

[@LeQuackQuack]

"Bring me some food." Oh gosh Tex, are you going to put drugs in the sushi?

[@theblackpantslegion]

no....no

[@zacharysparks1758]

Yeah just another day on space Station 13. You got to learn to accept and even apriciate all the curve balls thrown.

[@AsixSuffuri]

Never manage to run into you on vg station, but glad to see you playing it! Hope you're enjoying yourself! That being said, do try to color-code your pills, lest people have to at a glance try to figure out what order they stored what pills in.

[@Janihavik]

when you yelled at the person needing iron pills i lost my shit xD such fun time. Much laughing.

[@jappperon7012]

i would of typed"cool i brought a egg with me".

[@WastelandSeven]

"OK don't make some bad things." wink wink, nudge nudge, to be sure, to be sure. LOL

[@jnoirj3124]

The slow-mo bomb was fucking hilarious. Must've used a snail bomb there.

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

The phrase "slow-mo bomb" makes me think of the Invader Zim episode "walk for your lives" where to quote Zim's computer "the explosion is exploding very very slowly"

[@antropod]

Manuel of TG is nice, I play chemist and doctor there

[@LerzBerz333]

/vg/ becomes my favorite server when it comes to mining, and wounds.

[@thespartanmk1]

Should have tried salt :^ )

[@boomboompow1249]

27:04 we were this close to having the station explode

[@Sherudons]

The one time being french could be an advantage...

[@LordZakida]

Hey wait i was in this episode Insert mandatory squee here i think

[@SkrapMetal84]

when you need a few french men on your space station.

[@FelinoF]

hey, want to play again but really need to re learn, any server you can recommend me to play?, for what i see now a lot of them ask to have discord linked or make it complicate to join now

[@theblackpantslegion]

Goon. I suggest Goon

[@FelinoF]

@@theblackpantslegion I give it a try, thanks

[@apathymanthemundane4165]

the measure of chemistry is called "explosion coolness factor"

[@Demonicpurity]

Would salt or sodium have killed the snails?

[@ЯковЦветков-я4г]

Nice

[@jiaan100]

A fast rolling snailocalypse would be extra weird

[@phyvo]

So does TG ruining chem refer to the whole medical rework debacle where medicines could be more deadly than poisons or does it refer to some earlier event?

[@theblackpantslegion]

Its a long, long, LONG list of things. It's not one event. Also my opinion.

[@EnergyBurst2]

I kinda wanna know how much of the station that explosion took out, but oh well I guess it will forever be a mystery.

[@Phhase]

Is this Heavy Weather?

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

I was wondering as well when the thumbnail appeared in my recommends

[@Edwardius]

Ah yes the first round of snails. My greatest tragedy.

[@hamtsammich]

I only came here, to the party, for the drugs

[@pacecory1]

One of my buddies really wants to get into battletech. I think it would be cool, just don't know where to start

[@Alexander-nd5de]

From Cargonia to "Es-cargo-nia"

[@theblackpantslegion]

That hurt

[@Alexander-nd5de]

@@theblackpantslegion I know. . . its a little slow to catch on.

[@someonesomeone4899]

Es-cargo~nyaaa

[@Alexander-nd5de]

@@someonesomeone4899 *Oh No*

[@ZacHawkins42]

Hail Escargotnia!

[@TrollOfReason]

Is it weird that I'm here both for & because of ss13? I haven't played since before cat people, poop was a physical thing, & it only just started to get uncool to worship the singularity but ss13 has a warm place in my grey heart. With all its jank & madness, it's truly unique.

[@theblackpantslegion]

It is indeed, truly, beautifully unique

[@TrollOfReason]

@@theblackpantslegion I would hesitate to use the word beautiful. Upon my first game, inspired by PlumphelmetPunk, I ran as a botanist late into a round thinking I would grow meat, brains & bananas. Imagine my surprise & horror as I went from a blue, well lit arrivals to a dark hallway filled with gibs, blood & bodies. Picking up a reading lamp from what I now assume was a reception desk at the library, I was totally alone, with newness & paranoia gripping me. Finding the decapitated remains of a sec officer, I stripped him of his bloody armor & went to a nearby washroom. I was impressed that I could *clean the armor* by putting it in my hands & clicking the sink. Then I winced when I noticed that doing so caused a long, loud, water rushing sound in the silent station. I donned the armor & went back into the hallway, lamp in hand, my white shoes turning red. Coming to a T-junction, I turned right & saw smears of poop, more blood, & heads. Lots & lots of heads, & lots & lots of poop. I'm pretty sure I saw the head of the guard whose armor was wearing, but it could have been some other sec officer with a helmet. I went the other way. No, I would never call ss13 beautiful after that. Edit: I did not survive the round.

[@User-gk1yi]

cat people were added in 2015

[@TrollOfReason]

@@User-gk1yi Yes.

[@gorionus9812]

Are space snails vulnerable to salt? Also good episode.

[@weldonwin]

Where's Smoke Jaguar guy? Load up his Elemental suit with a flamer on one arm and a high-pressure garlic butter sprayer on the other. Tell him the snails were dissing Nicky K and watch the mayhem when he issues a Batchall on their slimy asses

[@RomaraAhallow]

Where is the /tg chem factory episode?

[@iired7577]

Hey tex. You should give deadspace 13 a try. Im pretty sure you'ill like it

[@theblackpantslegion]

There's been quite a few iterations of it.

[@whocares6456]

@@theblackpantslegion im pretty sure there an active DS13 server, they're only up on Weekends tough.

[@vaelophisnyx9873]

Watching these old videos makes me wonder if you'd maybe enjoy Yogstation more than TG or Goon these days

[@Dropbaud]

Couldn't you have fix'd this with Sodium? You know.. to melt the snails? Isn't there table salt in SS13?

[@averageintelligence6822]

Hey bud how come I haven’t seen you play captain or something like that before?

[@redsentry9785]

Speedy go go

[@garygordle5146]

Still no idea what the green text is lol

[@cannibalhunter9079]

you should stream this on twitch or youtube

[@Kombereloni]

The mods missed a big opportunity here by not implementing some Miiiiiiiind-Leeeeeeech-Snaiiiiiiiiiiiils! (Patent Pending)

[@snurkle_dorf4091]

tg was a good server before the orange

[@meatybtz]

Ahh, I needed a dose of SS13.

[@Varnockthe1st]

Got any suggestions for good traitor videos there Tex?

[@theblackpantslegion]

There's plenty, just search "SS13 Traitor"

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

There's a famous one from waaaaaay back when: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gaa3YoWardqUn5I

[@Varnockthe1st]

@@bubbasbigblast8563 Thanks friend, appreciated!

[@thejekky_br5022]

Hey ok so i know this is unrelated to the video but ive been wanting to play doctor but its my first time playing doctor and i dont think i will be a good doctor so should i say fuck it and play it anyway or just make room for actually good doctors?

[@theblackpantslegion]

Play and enjoy

[@thejekky_br5022]

@@theblackpantslegion Thanks

[@thejekky_br5022]

Honestly you saying play and enjoy made me play it and i thank you alot cause at first i was like "oh god oh fuck imm gonna fail at this so hard" but then i was like "bruh ths shit easy" i mean like i wasnt doing the hard part which is like doing surgeries and reviving people from the dead but its still pretty fun

[@AB-ln2py]

At least snails are gone ? So... win ?

[@nightcorer5447]

How did you manage to fuck up the link to wikipedia of magnitude of power?

[@theblackpantslegion]

By being a stupid

[@zigfaust]

Seriously though. I hate playing new games with friends and they just keep asking what to do since I pick up on shit super fast. And I"m like 'BRUH, I'M ONLY THIS SMART BECAUSE I KNOW TO LOOK IT UP. DON'T ASK ME SHIT, JUST GOOGLE IT." It's not rocket science, it's *pocket science*.

[@ahmataevo]

Is Tom a... twitch streamer?

[@theblackpantslegion]

no

[@Maddiemoo246]

No he's a racecar.

[@scar3sl]

i am a real person and totally not an AI. Really. I promise.

[@a.gravemistake3061]

This vaccine will cure what snails you

[@Speknoz]

NaCl

[@sentientpackofcigarettes4697]

Wait just a second... was the round after this a cargo limbo laser beam round?