Sibling Dynamics: How Brothers and Sisters Affect Each Other

Most people have a sibling - in fact, children in the U.S. today are more likely to grow up with a brother or sister than with a father. While a lot of social scientists research the impact of schools and parenting, little attention is given to a relationship that might be even more consequential. To understand just how important our relationship with our siblings are, let’s remind ourselves of the tragic story of the two most famous brothers in Western history.
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COLLABORATORS
Script: Jonas Koblin
Artist: Pascal Gaggelli
Voice: Matt Abbott
Coloring: Nalin
Editing: Peera Lertsukittipongsa
Production: Selina Bador, Morgan Lizop
Fact-checking: Ludovico Saint Amour di Chanaz
Proofreading: Susan
Sound Design: Miguel Ojeda
SOUNDTRACKS
Toys Are Alive - Studio Le Bus
Nice Toys - Studio Le Bus
Terror Avenue - Jace Pierce
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Adler's research mostly resisted the test of time with modern science techniques showing that his theories were quite accurate. The main one being that order of birth impacts the most children's personalities. This interacts also with gender. One huge limitation of adlerian theories was that he performed his research only on caucasian english and north american children which means that his research could not be generalized to other ethnicities and populations and cultures. However recent research is trying to do this and apparently although the effects are slightly different across cultures there is always a difference in behavior that is correlated with order of birth. Read more about Adler's Research
SOURCES
Individual psychology, Alfred Adler, Wikipedia en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individ...
Sibling influence on children’s objectively measured physical activity: a meta-analysis and systematic review bmjopensem.bmj.com/content/4/...
Sibling relationship quality and psychopathology of children and adolescents: A meta-analysis www.researchgate.net/publicat...
Birth order - an overview based on big population data
www.nber.org/reporter/2017num...
CLASSROOM EXERCISE
Get your students to research famous people and find out what happened to their siblings. What were their lives like? And which one would your students rather be? How would your students feel if they had a famous sibling?
CHAPTERS
00:00 Intro to siblings dynamics
00:40 The first famous brothers
02:41 Adler’s theory
03:54 6 Facts of siblings
05:51 Adler’s advice
06:14 Sprouts Avatar
06:23 Patrons’ credit
06:32 Ending

[@sprouts]

Help us educated parents and teachers about child development: patreon.com/sprouts

[@debbylou5729]

Shall we help you first?! ‘Help us educated parents’. Can you spell ‘scam’

[@M3lissaCottage]

​@@debbylou5729it's a scam?

[@lisawei9870]

I love how the middle child is just completely ignored, even in this video :)

[@sifar1857]

Hahaha ikr

[@pinterestgirl4]

ikr

[@OttrPopAnimations]

awe

[@ameerahzabar6817]

oh my goodness lmao

[@enestinejude4621]

Hahahaha really funny

[@donyab.e4767]

Sibling abuse is probably the most underrated issue in almost all societies. When a spouse is abusive, you can leave him/her. When a parent is abusive, in most countries you can contact child line and they will usually do something about it. But, when a sibling is abusive, no body takes you seriously and there's basically nothing you can do! Your parents do anything within their power to hide or normalize the horrible things that are happening to you and tag it as "normal sibling rivalry" because they have no other options! They have more than one kid, they love all of them and they have to raise all of them! In fact, a sibling can even get away with murdering you simply because he/she is too young to answer for it!

[@anna2belle783]

They do all that's within their power, because they know it's their responsibility, their duty and their fault. How many 8yo do you think could physically, mentally or emotionally handle babysitting a 3yo? And how many do you think have to? Yeah - there is no such thing as sibling abuse in my book, just child abuse by proxy. I'm sorry you don't have a good relationship with your sibling/s, that is a shame, but it's the parents fault.

[@flutenanyidk1806]

@@anna2belle783 there is such a thing as sibling abuse. My brother got arrested for it. I’m seeing him today after 3 years. I don’t know how to feel because he abused me too. My parents are awesome. As the oldest child, in my early years, they were always there for me and taught me as much as they possibly could. I always had help with schoolwork and always had someone to talk to. They background-checked our babysitters and made sure we were safe. My parents were never the problem to begin with. Until my brother started to gaslight my mom. You can’t get arrested for emotional abuse, but that’s where it started. He isolated her from the rest of the family because she was blowing up all the time. Suddenly I was only worth anything if the house was clean. I’m not going to share what he actually did to get him arrested, but I will say that while he didn’t kill anyone, all of his charges combined equated to the severity of murder. No joke, the detective said it himself. Also he still probably owes me like $100 in things that he stole, but I’ll get it out of him later. Edit: All of my siblings are adopted and he did come from a meth house. He is a meth baby.

[@anna2belle783]

@@flutenanyidk1806 I'm sorry to hear that - my comment was not about criminal activity or drug problems or psychiatric disorders by adults (or late teens). That's why I explained the 8yo babysitting 3yo... And I still stand by that. Doesn't mean your situation is invalid. Hope things go well for you, and ... Be careful. If it wasn't drugs or psychiatric illness, it can reoccur and/or worsen... Good luck

[@donyab.e4767]

@@anna2belle783 I am not trying to free parents from their responsibility in any manners. They are responsible for letting their emotions stop them from acting accordingly. Parents are usually unable to stomach that one of their children has to suffer some level of serious consequences if he crosses certain lines. So, they just bury the facts with a tag of "normal sibling rivalry"! And, yes. This is a crime in my opinion! But, it doesn't mean that the children are innocent. I clearly remember that I was perfectly aware that hurting other beings is bad even before turning 4. And, assuming that healthy children develop certain skills and understanding more or less around the same age, all children around this age are perfectly aware of this. Despite this fact, it has become very fashionable to vote for laws that do not hold kids under 18 responsible for most of the actions and crimes they commit (including murder) as if 18 is a magical age when they suddenly realize they shouldn't hurt others! What I am trying to say is that societies should not leave parents in charge of criminal law when the abuser and the victim are their own children and in their own custody. Children should have the ability to reach out for help in this situation and be taken seriously. Why? Because they currently aren't taken seriously!!!! In fact, if I could someday afford to launch a charity, I would establish one for addressing sibling abuse by creating a child line for reporting sibling abuse, providing psychological support and educational content regarding the issue for both children and parents and finally providing legal support to the victims to help them out of that situation in case other measure fail.

[@Kiera579]

@@anna2belle783 I disagree, my brother often belittles me, calling me names and being horrible to me, making me clean up his messes and all that. My mom does what she can to stop this behaviour but she can’t do anything when she’s not home. So I disagree because my mom is amazing just works a lot so my brother gets away with lots, and he never feels bad about anything he’s done.

[@jeankristein3238]

Siblings are happier? Social skills? Depending what kind of sibling you get

[@jeankristein3238]

Woah most likes i got ever Many relate to this?

[@ziyu3886]

Exactly, I was bullied by my older brother and another older cousin. I have severe social anxiety due to this and some other reasons.

[@jeankristein3238]

How far is it? I have Gastro problem till now Sour liquid from stomach goes to mouth daily Its better now since all matter solved But damage was done

[@darkhorse2866]

Yes

[@jeankristein3238]

@@ziyu3886 My little brother toying my parents for 2 decades I save a lot to buy what i want to And all that stuff is owned by my brother for 2 decades Last straw was he Made my parents sold my only motorcycle to buy him big motorcycle All over now but the damage still there Broken, cant trust no one just living in my bedroom

[@CosmoviZionn]

Interesting how the video shows a "modernized" version of Cain and Abel. Certainly, their gift to the Father revealed what was in their own hearts. Their attitudes. For me, It was liberating to discover why I was jealous to my younger sister, it's simple, attention became divided when she was born. I wish I could go back in time and be a better brother towards her. I have asked her for forgiveness a few times. Thankfully, today (30 years later) that we're both grown up, our relationship is loving and better. Unfortunately, parents aren't usually aware of the sibling dynamics. Parents should be aware of this, get to know their children's personality, and lead them. Many thanks for this great lesson!

[@arthurcallahan4735]

Im 21 and sister is 18. She acts like the classic brat girl and this sums up her personality to a T. Spoiled af, backtalks, let herself go. Try to help her a lot but maybe she will only realize when she hits 30 and her prime is over. Sad many women are to immature to realize their 20's are their prime and they waste it over stupidity. Its more so in the west, after dating an eastern girl you realize how much women are valued by their beauty and how good soviet parenting was. Going to make that one of my parenting styles. Will try to improve sister relationship but IQ for her is low and she doesn't seem to understand why men act the way they do yet which, is due to immaturity and mother spoiling her without father teaching us life lessons.

[@patb-d2264]

These things need to be taught in our earlier years. Our structured education system needs to include things like these that helps us understand ourselves better and navigate our relationships.

[@whoaskedforthisbs]

Some parents believe it's up to the children to sort things out themselves. This ideology I never understood. What the hell would they need parents for if children could govern themselves? 🙄

[@genevievetrompke6536]

@@arthurcallahan4735 no wonder she disrespects brother who is a misoginist who's tried to give his own sister an expiration date 😑

[@okisee]

I'm the younger sister in this situation and this also gave me some sort of idea of why my brother loves to pick on and order me around. I didn't try to understand him before and thought he's an arrogant asshole. I hope I can try to understand him more and improve our relationship (he's 19, I'm 16).

[@milla12060]

From what I know, my sister did not feel much jealousy when I came around. Quite on the contrary, she was excited to have a little sibling! We're 8 years apart, and recently I found this picture of my sister with a big wide smile while holding little newborn me. I never knew that picture existed before that and I teared up when I saw it, now I keep it in my wallet at all times and show it to anyone who's willing to see it. My sister moved abroad around 6 years ago and I haven't seen her in 3, we miss each other terribly but hopefully we'll be able to see each other soon! I feel like our relationship's only gotten better with time, despite the distance. Man, I love my sis so much, she's the best!

[@victorialn1317]

Yes, maybe it’s the difference gap age between siblings. And the fact you are girls, which normally are more intimate. In your case, your sister passed 8 years being the only one with your parents’ whole attention. Almost all her childhood.

[@milla12060]

@@victorialn1317 I'm actually nonbinary

[@lovelybearr2687]

Same! Me and my sister have a 12 year age gap and shes very understanding and kind

[@aem9691]

@jimmy i mean, when siblings are closer in age it also doesn't necessery mean that they are going to be jealous of each other? My younger siblings are 2,5 and 4 years younger than me and there was never much conflict between the three of us

[@victorialn1317]

@@milla12060 Oh… Sorry, sorry. But, the point was that your sister maybe was excited because you were like her little living doll. Sorry again for mistaking your gender 😔

[@lulu9759]

I have a brother 5 years older than me who has been verbally bullying me ever since when we were kids (he basically laughs at my appearance and says how weird and not normal I am). Now I’m in my 30s and am really happy-I’ve got degrees and my dream job; I have a beautiful wife and son, and I spend a lot of time with them everyday. The last time I saw him was 3 years ago when he told me that I’m ugly. I see why he acts like that and I even feel pity for him not being able to change even today. But at the same time, I still sometimes feel a sense of inferiority towards “normal people” and shame on myself for nothing.

[@patb-d2264]

These things should be taight in our earlier years. Imagine how we learn so much and yet basic things that could help us understand our own character;relationships is left for us to stumble on.

[@spacewalker7520]

@@eleena1035 If you don't have good parents then it's highly likely that the younger sibling is spoiled and is never punished for his mistakes while the older one get's scolded and shouted on for silly things and there are many more perks of being younger sibling, you can just yell "mom" and get your elder sibling punished for no reason at all while your sibling smiles like a pychopath in victory. Lol. They don't even need evidence, they just presume that the elder is guilty because he's older. 😂 This is very common. Stop acting as a victim. Elder siblings are the victim. I always loved my younger sibling and tried to be a perfect big brother but he still abused his perks of being younger sibling against me which made me hate him. No matter how old you get, the younger sibling will always be treated as a kid and you will be expected to be responsible, mature and perfect in every aspect of life. But it doesn't matter, the spoiled brat will have to face real world without their parents some day where he will be treated equally.

[@user-of2od5zd8e]

Well I'm an older brother and I have a younger sister, she's 6 years younger than me and I've always bullied her (verbally, you're ugly, you look like a monkey, etc) and sometimes physically (like throwing a pillow in her face) but it was always like a game for me, these last few years she stopped having fun and laughing at my games and stopped getting angry as she always did I feel that what I say is really hurting her but in reality what I wanted to achieve with this is that she She defends herself from me and doesn't be a coward in life, I wanted her to be strong, but I think it was too much for her. also my dad does the same with me and my sister, he just wants us to be strong. My sister's attitude made my dad angry many times because, as I said, she doesn't like these jokes anymore (she even cried once) I don't know what to do, I can't treat her like I used to... I'm 18 and she's 12 . Sorry if its bad translate , I don't speak English.

[@ainetheawesomegirl1357]

I feel like sometimes the younger sibling is abusing the older one because the youngest is the favorite and parents only listen to them

[@silverfeather2315]

oh my god same.. I thought my future 30 year old ver. was talking about me till you said he still hasn't changed.. well my brother with same age gap also used to 'tease' me a lot to the point i cried many times but later when I was teenager I cut him off after I realized that it was not normal..and later we mostly had this awkward conversations after like maybe he also realized that he was being asshole and was too embarrassed to apologize and like we both were matured as years went by and we were still a lot distant.. but later during this pendamic my dad brought my brother home from dorm cause lockdowns and stuff and we were stuck in the same house for like 2 years and we started opening up a little.. he still hasn't apologize yet we don't even talk about childhood.. and he is still an asshole but like if he was 100% asshole before then now he is 40% asshole

[@NikkieN1992]

My parents left me all the time alone with my siblings. They bullied me constantly and i ended up trying to commit suicide at a young age. I told me mother about it years later and she thought was horrified. She had no idea , siblings aren't a substitute for parental supervision.

[@M0r32Lyfe]

If you don't mind me asking, after you tried, did they realise the severity of their bullying and stop or at least ease up on the bullying?

[@ladrekawebb6903]

I definitely understand… I am 47 years old and can’t even ride a bike because I was stuck babysitting my little brother… My whole childhood was taken away. Sadly his dad lived in the same house but was never held accountable.. This made me despise my brother and leave home early. Even as a grown up I struggle with tolerating him.. No one should ever make a child responsible for a sibling.. SO CRUEL

[@michasosnowski5918]

I can relate. I was left when I was very young with my brother and cousin. They bullied my and chased my around the house. I tried to hide and then they closed the entrance. Cried many times. They harrased me often. I was trying to escape home at the age of 3 thru our balcony on 1st floor. My cousin "saved" me, and he became a hero. My parents were so ignorant about all of this. They didnt want to know.

[@JoeSmith-sl9bq]

You’re definetly over exaggerating a truly miniscule problem but want to blame all Your life issues on it

[@Cloud_hair]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that

[@PichuElric]

I remember a friend of my older sister who wanted her research to be about how older siblings have it the best (she's a younger sibling) but after getting her results from a pool of nearly 50 people (I was one of them) and an abundance of proof for the opposite, she changed her research title to reflect how younger ones benefit the most XD

[@ilyaibrahimovic9842]

Crédits to her for being willing to admit where the data lead her

[@whoaskedforthisbs]

All children feel like the other sibling(s) are the favorite, or had it best.

[@PichuElric]

@@ilyaibrahimovic9842 I know right! I think she'd make a great scientist if that was her chosen line of study

[@PichuElric]

@@whoaskedforthisbs True, but then there's quantifiable proof and just kids thinking the others have it better

[@heathfekiff7893]

I fully agree about younger ones benefitting the most and I think that the middle siblings get it the worst, I'm not a middle child so I have no personal experience, but I have friends who are and I've heard stories.

[@devilstattoo2335]

We are 5 siblings. There was no jealousy between any of us. Jealousy differs from parent to parent.

[@onebrowngirl998]

My parents have verbally confirmed that they love my younger brother more than they love me. And they have justified this by pointing out that my brother is still a child (he's 17), is more empathetic and is more comfortable with open and physical affection, without any consideration as to why I have grown up to be more closed off. I've been my mothers verbal punching bag for years, the one tasked with fulfilling all of my parents academic expectations and its been hard not to let all these years of resentment towards my parents spill over into my interactions with my brother. I don't think its working. Unfortunately, financial and cultural restraints mean I haven't been able to move out yet to limit any trauma my actions might cause for my brother. I don't know what to do anymore.

[@marllram]

Hang in there. If u're religious, do pray for them. It's the only solution since I don't think ur parents are the type willing to go into family therapy. Cause from the few cases I've known from ppl around me with cases like yours, no amount of money, performance, charm, or sacrifice from the less loved child will ever change the parents' impartiality. Chasing those will only leave u emptier. And a lot of times, ur parents could really see it as sth insignificant they might forget that they have bluntly say the loved u less. They're just a lost cause and maybe unless they change, you better think of them as just nothing more than a more senior roommate for you to be civil with, not expecting anything from them since more expectation of love will only leave u hurt. Forgive and let go. Meanwhile, the only thing u can do is actually to try harder not to implicate ur bro. U dont want to be like ur parents whose love is based on specs or other convoluted comparison. See ur bro for who he is, love him for who he is despite how sour things went with ur parents. In fact, try to get closer with him when u're calm and not in a mood triggered by ur parents antiques so u dont see him as someone who 'have it easy'. Fulfill your need of familial support from him, and maybe when he gets older, he can be a buffer between u and ur parents.

[@harmantumber]

I would suggest finding a job and saving enough money to where you can comfortably move out. At the end of the day, 2 years from now, you’ll be 2 years older than you are now. Regardless of what you do. So might as well do things now that will help you move out in the future. I’m in a similar boat, stay strong 💪🏽

[@jasmim6612]

my mom has told me to my face that she prefers my brother over me. i love her, but i don’t really like her and i haven’t since i was a child. maturing and realizing my brother wasn’t at fault for how i was treated my whole life improved our relationship so much. i still resent him sometimes but i don’t let it affect our relationship. he’s so incredibly annoying but he’s my only friend and my biggest source of support even if we have little fights sometimes (after all, we’re still siblings).

[@asdfghjklasdfghjkl8842]

Right now the best thing to do is limit your interaction with your parents and try to get communication with your sibling when your parents are not around. This will help in understanding your sibling and you will be able to see him in a new light that is not overshadowed by yours or your parents point of view. I and my sibling have midnight chats with each other where we have debates and discussion of our issues, moral dilemma and daily struggles we face. This is the only time we are completely open to each other. So this might help. The main points is that YOUR PARENTS SHOULDN'T BE AROUND YOU WHEN YOU ARE COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR SIBLINGS.

[@rajminbegum999]

Its very common in Asian families to favour the boys more than the girls… I understand trust me…. Best way is build yourself up and try not to have too much expectations from your parents. Make happiness for your self, it’ll help you move on.

[@Segen_Bell]

Reading the comments is making me so sad. I'd rather die than scar my younger sister emotionally and physically. This line is what describes my relationship with my sister, "I love my sister more than anything in this life, I will choose her happiness over mine". We are only a year apart and I love her very much. I'd do anything for her.

[@xTIYx]

Your comment made me cry. This is exactly how I used to feel about my sister (only a year younger than me). She is the only person I was sure I could die for, I would do anything to make her happy. The problem is, she doesn't feel the same. Even though she is the youngest, she has always been jealous of me, and that really poisoned our relationship. She hates to see me happy, and constantly tries to hurt me. After almost 30 years, I finally gave up now and decided I won't have her in my life beyond the necessary. I had to give up the love I had for her, to love myself instead.

[@nazareboyd5315]

You sound like a great sibling ❤. You all will be ok

[@apersonwhohasnothing]

if my little brother could do the same as well then maybe but until then I will stay away from him. I wouldn't want to get beaten up.

[@pinkmilklover6576]

This is exactly how I feel about my brother. He is just one year younger than me and we have never been apart from each other. We have completely opposite personality but we love each other.I know he will always be there for me. I am even ready to fight with world for him and I know he will do the same for me.

[@esg4364]

@@xTIYx I know this was posted a year ago, but I feel the same. I would die for my siblings, and I have sacrificed a lot for them. My teen brothers, however, can't see how the little things every day would make me so happy. All my other siblings love me back so its just the older boys. I think it is partly bc I've "shielded" them from a lot and been their emotional crutch when they needed to work it out themselves. I am working on distancing myself from them so they can stand on their own two feet. I won't go away but they don't need a helicopter sis. I would love my brothers to say they would take care of me tho...

A point about developing social skills - I think while children with siblings develop better social skills with their peers, children without siblings develop a better relationship with/understanding of authority. As an only child, I was always so much better around adults, eg teachers, everyone in position of power, but was much worse off when it came to developing friendships with people of my own age.

[@everythingsfinett3903]

Trust me that’s mostly not the case. People with siblings do not develop better relationship with their peers unless the siblings are close in age and on good terms which is uncommon

[@alliechastain9369]

I agree! I had a bit of an odd situation growing up, but I had no siblings until my dad married my stepmom. Ever since I can remember, I've always been great at charming teachers, nannies, and parents of friends. It's an interesting thing to think about

[@Pouly__]

Same here, even with sibling i developed social anxiety.

[@okimimitsuko2735]

I'm not an only child but same, It was easier getting along with my teachers than my classmates or my sisters.

[@apersonwhohasnothing]

@@everythingsfinett3903 so true, sometimes only one of the two siblings gets the social skills and as the oldest, I got none.

[@khadishab2745]

I'm the last born but there was a huge age gap between myself and my brothers and I am considered a functional first child. I was showered with attention by everyone including my siblings but because of the age gap my brothers were already adults during my childhood. As a result I was socialized as an only child. I am more responsible and successful than my second and third brothers because I was more independent and there were much greater expectations of me.

[@DanceDaay]

Exactly. I also perceive my personality more towards the one of an only child for the same reason. My siblings (12, 15 & 21 when I was born) were never a "competition" in my eyes but I did look up to them, and I am more responsible and mature. I did feel double the pressure though, from my parents AND my siblings. I always say this is the best of both worlds, I'm kind of an only child sometimes but having siblings at the same time, minus the rivalry which was and still is present despite the age differences. Sorry for my english

[@milla12060]

Can sorta relate. My sis moved out when I was 11 and since then I've basically been socialized as an only child as well. My sister excels academically, is very smart and is drawn towards more visual and artistic things. I'm literally all those things as well lol my parents basically got to raise the same person twice. I am quite different to my sister in other aspects but we're both very responsible.

[@apersonwhohasnothing]

My father had a similar childhood as the youngest one. His oldest brother was already married when he was just a baby and I think that's why he doesn't have a great connection with his older siblings...

[@Sambucha1234]

@@apersonwhohasnothinghonest

[@ayo69420]

I'm 18 and just last month I realized my sister (we are twins) has been bullying me for the past 15 years of my life. Every single person would catalogue her agression towards me as "a simple siblings game" but it's FAR from that. Her behavior towards me has affected my entire life: I'm socially anxious, have anger issues (I'm making a lot of progress on this), have low self-esteem and I lack motivation doing extremely simple tasks. I would love to see this problem get attention, because I know I'm not the only one with issues like this.

[@aruky87]

I have twins aged 2 and one of them use to bully the other one continuosly. The other one is not fair since she steals anything that her sister has or it s playing with, she always tries to get my attention only for her and she wants to play or do something with her sister when she doesn't. Maybe it's only misunderstanding.

[@MsDeborahL]

I am a twin, 25 y.o. now, and I was bullied by my twin sister for much of our childhood. It really hurt my self image and still impacts me today, but I'm actually able to forgive her now, to see that she was taking things out on me not because it was my fault but because she didn't know how else to deal with her feelings, and neither one of us got the attention we needed from parents. We have a much better relationship now, but there are still times I have to step away and remember to set boundaries. Hope this helps some.

[@cuprisun]

I relate a lot, I have an older sister. Like wayyy older than me and we constantly get yelled at by our parents for misbehaving with each other, like we fight a lot. And she gets so frustrated or becomes really mean at anything I do and I obviously get bothered by it but if I show my own frustrations I get scolded, it's so annoying when 3 authorities have to constantly get made with me and tell me what's wrong and what's right to them

[@lazarusunkwon6]

I do not know what my mother did, but I love my little siblings a lot. I would do anything in my power for them to be happy and well. Honestly, I thought that was the norm amongst siblings around the world. How ignorant one can be?

[@user-pm9pw6cj4c]

I wish I had a sibling like you

[@yesicalicht4882]

Nah man, siblings can be cruel. Lil demons

[@_PlaceHolderForNow_]

Same here, always have thought the world of my twin, I would stick with them to the end but it’s apparently not normal?

[@allisond.46]

Same here, though I was only 15 months old when my sister was born.

[@AngelVids7]

I don’t think it’s necessarily abnormal to have a good relationship with your siblings. People with negative experiences are more likely to comment on a video like this. Just respect their experiences and be thankful for your own.

[@tieppham2658]

Since I read most of the comments, every family has nearly the same story as conflicts and misunderstandings among siblings have been always existed, so I've realised how education important is. This is to say, in the video's context, parental guidance plays a key role in harmonising the relationship of their children,

[@KuramiRocket]

I have three older half siblings and I love them all very much. Somtimes we fight and get mad each other as in all interpersonal relationships, but when it comes down to it: when it really counts we have each other's back. My mother raised us and ingrained into us that we're siblings and we should always love and be there for each other. And we have been despite any and all family dysfunction. I'm the youngest btw. I truly love my family very much ♥️

[@amnaarshad2104]

I also have 3 older step siblings. And a younger twin pair. 😂😂😂 But u are right. Despite the fight, we love each other.

[@kmetofficial5800]

My mother look at my younger brother as the leader lol unfortunately he ended up in prison he himself feels like the leader. He’s outspoken but not very bright in terms of ideas. I’m less outspoken but with the most ideas and creativity 😂 it’s funny because we all feel like the alpha male even our youngest brother

[@lucieblaise8793]

Working with children from disadvantaged backgrounds who's siblings are also in our program, it is sad to say how difficult their relationships can be, between wanting to protect and harm their siblings, some having even undergone sexual abuse from a sibling (it is more common than one thinks). Temperament, environment and mental health challenges play a huge part in how close or distant they might become as adults.

[@alaskawoolf3737]

My older brother kept bullying me while we grew up, and my whole family was like "that's perfectly normal" and "you'll get along better when you grow up". My parents always seemed to favour him. There was a lot of resentment. In the end, as adults, my parents told me they let him get away with all he did because he "needed more attention". He's a better person now, but I don't feel comfortable around him and don't want to ever live in the same house again. There's barely a relationship.

[@BlueNue0106]

Oh my word I relate to this quite a bit. My older brother was always bullied, so I became his verbal punching bag. And since my parents let him get away with it, he still goes out of his way to get reactions out of me. And then I get told I need to learn how to be less bothered by it. I have a very vivid memory of one instance where he got physically aggressive and my mother told me that boys will be boys

[@SfromWisconsin]

I disagree with younger children feeling they "have less to prove." It's actually the opposite. They constantly have to prove that they are old enough and good enough. Their fists aren't as big of a deal because they are not firsts for the parents. So there is a need to do everything better than the oldest child in order to get recognition. For the older siblings, the milestone itself is enough. Also, if the older child was allowed to do something too young age and it didn't work out, no matter how responsible the younger sibling is, they aren't allowed to do it either.

[@sprouts]

Great point.

[@j.s.elliot7121]

Yeah, this was my experience, too.

[@PumaArg]

I'm surely not seeing that in my younger sisters, I WISH it was the case

[@lukasribin4168]

Spoken like a true egotistical, myopic, attention-seeking, one-upper, “need to be superior”, delusional younger sibling. What you say could not be further from the truth. Stop projecting.

[@dandelions_are_cool]

I agree so much with that. There's this constant comparison between siblings, at least in my experience. Whether it's me being told to not do something because my brother did it and it didn't go well for him, or my brother being compared to me if I do something well.

[@Sims_dmh]

00:00 more likely to grow up with a brother and or sister than a father that is really sad

[@jessewoody5772]

Thats a fake narrative . Its only in black hoods that it is the common scenario

[@sprouts]

That’s the US data today

[@whoaskedforthisbs]

In America fathers don't really see parenting as their job. A lot of them find ways to not be there even when "there" taking jobs where they "have to" travel their kids' youth away. I heard a man say he'd leave his child for a woman; many of them do, and those evil step-mothers are so self-centered they let them.

[@everythingsfinett3903]

I feel like seeing your sibling being favoured and treated better than you really effects children a lot. For example my mother always treated my brother better even tho he was a troublemaker and even when he bullied me as a child he still got away with it… he’s almost 10 years older. With a sibling you find out that life isn’t fair early on lol

[@eri_noemi1462]

It was the opposite for me. I'm the oldest and my two youngest brothers (there's a big age difference) were horrible awful spoiled brats. When I called them out on their bad behavior, for some stupid reason I was punished and not them. It made me hate them. The only brother I like is the one that's only a year younger than me.

[@harrietkamau6710]

I believe parents have a hand in how their children treat each other. They should understand each of them better and steer them towards better relationships amongst themselves. I know of parents who openly love some of their children more than the others for no good reason and this can generate animosity among siblings. Every child should be shown love by the parent or parents otherwise, they might hate one another even in adulthood.

[@bluflavouredpudding]

I feel like this may undermine atypical situations like trauma bonding My brother and I used to have a very antagonistic relationship because I was used to getting attention on all fronts before his birth (my parents are both the only ones from their siblings that had kids) so as children we clashed all the time even though he was always trying to relate to me However, when we had to leave our home country a few years ago there was a period of time when all we had was each other and now we're actually very close, share a lot of interests together and try to be there for one another

[@zaharar7818]

I have an older brother. When we were younger, we used to fight every day. A lot of times I saw him in the wrong and that he was treating me unfairly. When I got a little sister, I did the same to her. Then I realized that I am behaving exactly the way my older brother used to behave with me. There was a specific thing that made me realize that. Sometimes when I and my brother fight and I go complain to my mom, he would say “I did not hit her”. I was always surprised by the way he denied what he did. Then when I fought with my little sister and she went to complain to Mom, I told Mom that I did not hit her. I said that because I didn’t see it strong enough to be called a “hit”. This made me realize a lot of other behaviors of my brother and mine so I am always trying to watch my attitude with both siblings. And about my relationship with my little sister, I noticed that our relationship would change because of the way I treat her. If I’m being grumpy, arrogant, or always ordering around, she starts doing the same. But if I treat her nicely, sometimes listen to what she wants me to do - like “Can you bring me a cup of water?”- then she would treat me the same. Her behavior towards me is also affected by how my parents treat me. My mother constantly lecture me for being late or slow, so my little sister sometimes mocks me for being slow! I don’t believe that my mother is in the wrong, its my sister. So when she mocks me for that, me and my mother stand against her telling her its not her business. This taught me to respect my older brother and be more gentle to him. Good job if you read all of this. This is my siblings dynamic from my perspective.

[@spaghetto9836]

Middle sister and same. I relate to a lot of this.

[@zaharar7818]

@@spaghetto9836 I also feel lucky to be the middle one because I got to experience both worlds (being the younger and the older)

[@onlypjm]

@@spaghetto9836 same😭

[@Meshguy]

“Children with siblings are often happier too,” Me: since when?!

[@VTrucker777]

Biggest mistake of my life I begging for a sibling to my parents

[@Nylak-Otter]

I'm so glad my sister and I were born 18 years apart. She was never jealous of the attention I got, and she took me on extremely fun and adventurous trips that scared my parents to death. I was raised as a "single child," but I looked up to my sister because she was wild and fearless, and my parents were abusive (which she uniquely understood). We had very different personalities, but we had the same ethics, the same hobbies, the same spirituality (agnostic, but connected to earth), and ended up getting the same professions, except for different species (she became a psychologist that worked with the police helping children and adult victims of trauma or abuse, and I'm an animal behaviorist that specializes in rehabilitating dangerous shelter animals). There was never any bad blood between us, *ever.*

[@plantedlife]

As the eldest, I remember hating my younger siblings and most of my family until I got a serious injury when I was 15. During the 6 months recovery of helplessness, I was forced to rely on the very people I joined school activities to avoid. It made me rethink my relationship with them a lot and made me drop the high expectations I had for them, which was what made me hare them in the first place. Being an academically and physically gifted got into my silly little head apparently, and made me look down on people who weren't up to par with how I think they "should" be. Like, I used to think my parents were stupid because their grades when they were my age was mostly Bs and Cs when mine were As, and my sister is useless because she can't do the things I could do when I was her age. I thought I had some sort of disorder but counselors all said I'm fine upstairs so it might be some sort of 8th grade syndrome that started very early

[@dag5579]

Just try to see things from their point of view. Maybe their brains work differently.

[@internet_dude]

Lol Not very smart If you dont take into consideration, that grades vary based on your Environment. Did you Go to the Same school as your parents or sibling. Did you have exactly the same teachers? What about class mates. Maybe they were disruptive.

[@plantedlife]

@@internet_dude Who knows. Just trying to break the image I have in my head, it's pretty hard considering how ideal it was.

[@asmeetaubarhande1635]

Me and brother are just 1.5 years apart(he is younger). Our mom had a hard time dealing with us bcoz we always fought….he hit me when i got something and i hit him when i felt jealous of all the pampering he got….but when both were going through Puberty which was basically at the same at we bonded over things we couldn’t tell our parents….basically everything…and now we are very close…we tell each other our anxieties and we cover for each other’s mistakes too…I really used to hate him….but now we both are each other’s emotional support

[@user-youdontknowme]

I'm leaving my comment as a marker that I was here, but I didn't watch the video. I know my siblings messed me up pretty bad and watching this video is gonna make me feel so much worse about it. I'm just starting to accept and heal to from it all But I appreciate the initiative. As one other comment said, sibling abuse is very underrated and needs to be acknowledged.

[@pikachuthunderbolt3919]

When me and my brother were younger We fought a lot But it's very better now and laugh over our past fights 😂 I think young people are raw , it's parents responsibility to check that their fight don't turn into abusive matter .

[@HijiyamasYakisobaPan]

i am a younger sister, and i got to do a few things earlier than my sister, but our parents are definitely less trusting of my independence since i'm always the young one

[@konstanzavalenzuelasanhuez4763]

I have two sisters, 17 and 15 years older than me. They are complete opposites (in terms of occupation, interests, social life, etc) and have a relationship with my mother that's very specific to the family situation of that time. On the other hand, I was born in "another time", have a wider age-gap with my mom, and somehow became a mixture of them both. It's wild when I talk about them because the development of my whole personality is so so so closely related to them and their lives and how they took care of me lmao

[@deaddog7611]

I have a slightly younger sibling who always try to control me over the littlest of things. He won’t give me access to technology that everyone in our family should share. I’m realizing from this video that he wants his own ‘niche’ that is much to generic. I deserve to be able to pursue my passion through digital technologies. Yet my parents allow him to not even let me watch TV because I’m the ‘artsy’ one. He gets so much slack on everything. He is allowed online friends and to go outside all because of his gender. I have extreme expectations (which I usually don’t fulfill.) because I have older sibling’s trails to follow. They are much much much older so I am by myself most often. When my brother was bullied my mom took immediate action. But for me I never got anything. He got diagnosed for his performance anxiety much quicker than I got diagnosed for my developmental disorder and mental illness. After I got diagnosed he would point out all the things I did wrong. (I have poor social cues) and make fun of my interests. I’m still missing a diagnosis and it’s unfair that I had to attempt horrible things on myself to get help from my parents. My parents threaten to lock me away. When in reality I don’t need a mental hospital, people who are unstable in the moment need that. It’s a blank neutral canvas. What I need is nurturing, and a familiar and colorful environment. But I guess my parents want what’s easiest to them. My brother secluded into his room so I spend most time (indirectly) with my mom. But on vacations he joins my mom in bad mouthing me when I’m around. They make fun of how I present myself when my brother does the same. I stay up late to calm myself down but in the morning they come in after they’ve fully rested and purposefully make noise to bother me. Damn, this got a rant out of me lol.

[@user-mc5vy2vk5n]

I feel ya, sis. My younger brother could get away with a lot of things I couldn't and I was expected to not complain about - because he's a boy, because he's younger I need to be understanding and act more mature than him.

[@boopdesnoot8133]

I'm so fucking sorry, this is so disgusting on so many layers, you never deserved to have experienced this... that is so fucking cruel for your own mother to be like that with you... I'm not trying to be invalidating with this next part, it's just something to consider o: It's either that your anxiety is making you automatically think [all] of their actions are malicious, or they are and I'm so sorry but you would need to get yourself out of there as soon as possible... Are you able to semi move in with a close friend at all or?...

[@deaddog7611]

@@boopdesnoot8133 thank you for your comment. I do think some of my anxiety triggers some of these arguments. I wrote this while I was in deep in a hole and didn’t see much of a way out. While I’m not better, that was one of my down days. I’m not able to semi move in with a friend but I’m going to try to be at my friend’s as much as possible. It was very sweet of you to comment. I hope you are doing well.

[@boopdesnoot8133]

@@deaddog7611 I hope you can start doing well soon D': 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂, like I hope you can try with one\multiple of your friends to be able to nonjudgementally vent about anything, and same for them too - that's one of the biggest things I've realised that massively fucking helps (well that's if you're getting all/most off your chest and not being judged and them caring and giving you the right type of support that you need in those moments o':)

[@deaddog7611]

@@boopdesnoot8133 ❤️❤️❤️ thank you

[@cooldeer4811]

My brothers is 14 years older than me, when I was born he took care about me and spent all time with me. He allowed me to touch his pc and even taught how to play warcraft 3 when I was 5 y/o lol. We never fought and I love him very much even tho we don't see each other much now

[@mariejuana2993]

I love how the video is presented with constantly moving parts (drawing, colouring) to give the less attention fixed people something to focus on so they can watch the whole video without getting bored. Very clever 👍

[@ziad_jkhan]

Those issues actually stem from the fact that we are no longer living in communities so all it takes to put someone in a state of perceived insecurity is a threat to the parental attachment

[@anushbhattarai8849]

As the eldest, I definitely felt sad and jealous of my younger sister(younger by 3 years) One of my oldest memories is my dad scolding me for not being nice to my sister when she was the one being mean and loud mouthed. Emotionally, my parents were much more attached to her and I constantly felt that I needed to prove something, so I started focusing on school in the early years which improved my grades. But slowly as I became older, I don't have this feeling anymore and I definitely care for my sister now, She is in high school now and I help her in her studies and our sibling relationship has improved a lot. I generally feel that eldest siblings are expected to be responsible and this causes some to mature faster but it can also lead to some feeling unattached to their families. They are used as examples for their siblings and parents crack down harder on them. But still as the eldest, this mix of responsibility, jealousy and sibling connection means we love pulling pranks on our siblings, bossing them around and I feel that some lighthearted fun in this manner is what helps siblings bond to be closer

[@honeyrolls1609]

I like this video. It's very interesting because I have two younger brothers. (one of them died at birth and I was still a baby so I don't remember him) the one still living is a difficult sibling and at times I feel like he doesn't respect, love, or care for me since he thinks he has to tell me what to do or tell me what I can't do because I'm a girl or whatever other reason. Anyways, hopefully, our relationship gets better one day and I'll have a brother who treats me well since I've been trying to be good to him even though it's very hard. (sorry for the little rant, but I enjoyed the video!)

[@honeyrolls1609]

@Themis Santos Intento mostrarle amor, pero él está en esa edad en la que no quiere que le molesten tanto ni que le hablen. Solo puedo esperar que cambie a medida que crezca. Todavía amo a mi hermano incluso si está siendo demasiado.

[@aneevrian6557]

I haven't talked to my brother in 10years even though we live under the same roof. We basically ignore each others existence. Tbh, i feel more at peace like that.

[@l.salevi]

Me and my siblings made an unspoken pact and rebelled against our parents together lol that’s why we’re all so close. Being close in age helps too.

[@sinchanaa3913]

I'm elder sibling and my younger sis is 6 yrs younger than me There are times when we fought just like normal siblings...but after I hit puberty perhaps bcuz of hormonal changes or stress and workload of education I never fought with her! Bcuz since I get less time to spend I spend it more on happy moments rather than angry/sad ones 🙂

[@mistertwister2000]

I was half raised by my older siblings, not because my parents weren’t around but because I’m one of the youngest in a large family. I’ve always felt like just a younger sibling, and so I never even considered the affect I had as an older sibling to the youngest.

[@hc1897]

All parents hope their children will grow up loving each other and be best friends till the end of their lives. I guess admitting that your kids seriously don't get along is about as taboo as a mother admitting that she never bonded with her child. Cases are abundant but swept under the carpet.

[@sprouts]

Well said

[@squirlis1189]

Me and my bro used to beat the crap out of each other as kids so much that my mom just gave up trying to separate the fights and just started recording us instead. She sat us down to watch said videos a few months back and we cringed all the way to mars and back. We're grownass adults now and are a lot gentler with each other and no longer throw arms anymore.

[@cflisthebest]

interesting episode. I am first born too, I find that my brother is less motivated, less intelligent, less capable but more social, easier time making friends. we did not get along as well until our 30s but i still in my mind wish he would do more with his life.

[@enanthem]

valid

[@andreinapereira552]

leave him alone

[@samanthagreen8054]

Family is The Trauma You Are Born Into, Locked Into Against Your Will. As a vulnerable, clueless, innocent child- you learn to accept, settle for and sadly probably Learn to LOVE the toxic, warped, abusive, disturbing acts done to you. By the time some of us have survived our childhoods, THE DAMAGE HAS ALREADY BEEN EMBEDDED within our psyches and most of us live stunted existences that were poisoned in our youths. Worst part, our siblings, relatives, parents--- they are all just as messed up as we are. THE CYCLE HAS NEVER BEEN BROKEN. Whole Nations of abused, traumatized and some ANGRY, VENGEFUL ADULT CHILDREN are the reason why the Planet is dying. Nobody cares because NO ONE FEELS CARED FOR. Nobody Knows How to honestly parent, educate or nurture anymore. And if you can't raise and protect your own child, spouse or sibling, HECK- YOUR SELF--- it makes sense that we as a SOCIETY also cannot properly run our governments, schools, justice system, hospitals, and churches. Several states suffer from dirty tap water. That's BASIC INFRASTRUCTURE. If we can't even bathe, wash clothes, cook or drink using our tap water---- I have little confidence in my country resolving the many other EPIC PROBLEMS we face as Human Beings.

[@PumaArg]

As the eldest sister, I must admit I never forgave my sisters for being born and taking my place. After my first sister was born, I completely abandoned all attatchment to my family. To this day just looking at them makes me incredibly violent, I don't recognize myself when I'm with them; I think it might be because when I was a kid I was also bullied at school so seeing someone take my only safe space was INFURIATING to me. I simply cannot abandon my hatred at this point, so I just avoid contact, and I hope I can leave my house very soon

[@lukasribin4168]

I have sympathy for you. Was it just them being born or were they afforded inherent (and otherwise) privileges you weren’t? I was also bullied severely to the point I had to leave school, and then I came home and my siblings bullied me in the same way..strangers and extended family too. I was always very good to my siblings and things were okay at first, but they became cruel for no reason and the already present unfairness and disparity between their privileges and the lack of my own, and my pain and suffering that they escaped with zero effort (as well as compounded)…it’s all too much to bear. And they treat other people much better than me, people who don’t deserve the niceties even a fraction of what I do. They have no remorse and no guilt for how they’ve mistreated and neglected me, they are nicer to eachother and purposely exclude me because I am ugly and an unsuccessful embarrassment to them, just for existing. They never get me birthday or holidays gifts or cards and I always go above and beyond for them. They remember to give things to our abusive father, but not their own sibling who treated them well..I don’t understand. I am filled with rage and sadness for my own situation apart from them, and also for their added torment to my miserable existence and my parents apathy toward it all. I plan to take my own life before the year’s end.

[@uks1478]

@Lucas Ribin Do you ever ask them why they hate you or treat you that way?

[@peteryeeterson5766]

@@lukasribin4168 Don’t die. I promise you, life will get better. Start making a plan now, and leave when you’re old enough to leave and don’t look back.

[@Isimenme_]

@@lukasribin4168 Don't take your life because you won't always remain in that house. In fact, the amount of years you'll spend out of your parents house is more than the amount of years you'll spend in there. If you can, spend time doing things that bring you peace and happiness. Same thing with people. I also strongly recommend you spend time seeking God and developing your relationship with him.

[@PumaArg]

@@lukasribin4168 Oh my god that is horrible, sweetie 🥺🥺🥺 listen to me, just a year ago, my dad took his own life at our garden; don't do it, please, it's not worth it. The pain you leave behind is unbearable, and if there's something I've learnt about life is that things CAN ALWAYS GET BETTER. Even when you feel like you can't take it anymore, why waste this life and just die? Live! Do everything you always wanted to do and couldn't do because you were attached to other things! (As long as you don't hurt anyone) Explore, use your money on everything you ever wanted to experience, use every second you can to have fun and remember the beauty of life. I personally have a certain perception of life that helps me get through bad moments: we're just animals, nothing more, so enjoy as an animal, enjoy being able to eat, to be warm, to not be scared of a lion eating you, this is heaven! You have the ability to smell, to feel, to see, to touch, to hear, to feel warmth and cold in your skin, TO THINK! Why waste it? The fact that you even EXIST is a MIRACLE, WHY WASTE IT? If you want to to talk to someone, oet me know and I'll give you my number. Stay strong 🙏❤

[@hanaishaajourney]

Perfect video for me, thank you sprouts!

[@amelia1507]

I have a younger sister and brother, and I love them to bits. We’ve always all got on very well together.

[@andreimircea2254]

This video missed a big type of siblings, the twins. What about their dynamics? In rest, the videos has been very interesting.

[@lukasribin4168]

Twins, especially identical, are better off.

[@andreimircea2254]

Personally, as a twin, I kinda hate it. It is so dehumanising to be seen just as the other one’s clone. The anger it generates it’s ginormous. But the plus side is, we get each other so easily, it is refreshing to see in dire times someone who truly can understands you.

[@itzz_shawtiie9793]

"First born are usually the most loved" there is absolutely no such,the expectation our parents have for us are unreasonable and I literally had to raise my younger siblings,and the responsibilities that I have at home are overwhelming .

[@elaowczarczyk7143]

Even thought me and my older brother always fought and disagreed with each other growing up, he was always the one there for me whenever i needed someone. Our house was abusive with our parents constantly arguing and fighting so we had no choice but to rely on each other if we wanted to survive this nightmare. Today I have so much respect for my older brother and is the bestest friend that i ever had

[@c-light7624]

Wait, but HOW do I deal with someone trying to assert their superiority? Because that’s my older brother to a tee. He’s the first born and a pain to deal with. I’ve given up but don’t want to go the rest of my life avoiding him and lord knows _he’s_ not going to change. So what to do?

[@BioTheHuman]

I know it's hard (little brother here) but try to understand that he's not having fun too. He probably envies you in a way or another and always thought you had a better life than him. I've never reconciled with my brother, even if now that we're older we're more at peace, and of course I can totally understand how unfunny it is wanting to get closure but then immediately rejected, or being constantly bullied. I don't know what you can really do, the only suggestion I feel to give you is that, as I said, to try understand his position too and to never make the mistake to seriously hate him in return. Try to be "superior", but also try to always find a spot where you can get closure if you're interested into :)

[@c-light7624]

@@BioTheHuman Thanks for that. Reading what you wrote made me think you had a window into the relationship dynamic I have with my bro. He has actually admitted to being jealous of me (go figure) and thinking that I would surpass him in life so he never wanted to get to know me when we were younger (we have a 10 year age gap). I know he feels unfulfilled in life and, as a result, is miserable in general. So, I understand that it’s not easy for him but I’m not impervious to his constant negativity and contrary nature. It’s grating and depleting. But…I’ll keep in mind what you said about seeing his point of view so that I can expect and accept instead of getting frustrated with him. Thanks again, Gheorghe.

[@whoaskedforthisbs]

If your parents didn't do what they they should have to teach both of you the importance of your relationship, or your brother didn't take responsibility to do so it's not on you to fix. Hell, according to me siblings are mostly useless in adulthood. Wtf do us internet ppl know?

[@c-light7624]

@@whoaskedforthisbs Your reply made me chuckle. Thanks for the levity. Dad tried but bro was stubborn and resistant. So now as an adult, I feel there must be a way (especially with greater insight and maturity) to forge a better relationship. I don’t want to be at odds with _anybody_ and family is important. I also know that I can’t force a good relationship. It takes two. Just wished it wasn’t so hard. I appreciate the feedback form internet people or otherwise.

[@Dman6779]

I get your struggle, my older brother is handicapped (aspergers) and constantly tries to "prove" his superiority over me, its just that every time he tries to do this it fails miserably and it just leads me to feel a combination of pity and anger that he even has to prove such a thing to me, i know i comes from his past where one side of his family (he is my half brother) has consistently stolen from him and otherwise manipulated his illness against him and so now that hes out of that house he wants to prove that he's top dog, the thing with that is its completely opposite to the way i like to live (where everyones equal and nobody is "top dog") so it leads to this cycle where he holds his perceived authority above everyone else and refuses to take on board any advice or constructive criticism because again оne half of his family basically abused him for most of his life.

[@soupernovaart_yt]

As a younger sibling, as I have been growing up there hasn't been too much pressure on me to achieve things; on the other hand, I struggled with social interaction as well and became very introverted. Lately my parents have been putting more pressure on me and my younger sibling (who so happens to be my twin) since our siblings are all graduated, and one has moved out. I feel that though I did have the benefit in childhood of being a younger sibling, once the rest of my siblings had done something big in their young lives, like getting a job or their license, I was expected to do the same at the same age or younger. And, as if to make it even less bearable, the middle sibling was achieving things quickly, getting her license and job at 16 and, soon after, getting HER OWN CAR. I've also been trying to make a step to become an artist, so that really doesn't help either, as it often isn't a stable way of income. So yeah, I did get many benefits as a younger sibling, but now I'm being held to the same standard as my older siblings. It's like keeping your hair short your whole life and then suddenly having to grow it out long, and take absolutely PERFECT care of it. ^^

[@erinb9647]

Quite fascinating to get into. Please post more on this topic. 😄

[@EpikKring]

The first popular brothers happened with me, instead my little brother thought everyone loved me but instead everyone cared for him, i was okay with it because he needed attention, thank you for making the video

[@lubnanorelkarim8943]

Thank you ❤️ 💐🥰 For the effort 👍 We appreciated

[@sprouts]

My pleasure 😊

[@lunkerjunkie]

I love how you say "following convention" to refer to Adam raising Cain

[@antoninaminos3258]

so many comments under this video are so sad. im terribly sorry for everyone who was hurt by their siblings, reallly. it's awful how horrific things can be done by people who suppose to be closest to us. i felt like it was very important to send some mental support to you all, even if im just some stranger on the internet, i'm telling you, you deserve love and happiness and i hope you will find it and people who will be your family without the blood connection. saying all of this i'd like to also share my own story. this one is gonna be happy. im the eldest sibling and i have 4 younger ones. i have both siblings i'm only 2 and 4 years older than and siblings im 7 and 14 years older than. i love them all more than you can imagine, i would literally die for them and i know they love me like this too. as the eldest sibling i feel the responsibility to protect them. i carry many secrets they told me, things that even my parents don't know. when my siblings need an advice, they often come to me. when i need an advice i go to my parents. but me being the eldest doesn't stop my siblings for also caring for me when i need them. my brother holded me close through many mental breakdowns i had. he made me warm tea when i was on my period completly unprompted. my younger sibling saw a van gogh earrings and spider-man keychain and bought it with their own money cuz they thought i will like it. my sister calls me sometimes just to tell me she misses me. even my 4yo little girl, saw me crying once, immidietly hugged me and patted my head and said "dont talk to her right now. shhh, shhh im here, its ok. im gonna protect you". because im the eldest and i was taking care of my siblings (not too much care, i wasn't a person doing a job instead of my parents, but care nonthless) i got very good at understanding children, their needs and the way they see the world. i work with kids now and i find myself really happy in my job. its not like we're perfect siblings who never fight. oh no. we can be really nasty towards each other. we still work on some aspects of our relationships. i guess this comment is an appreciation post for my siblings. i love you, guys, i love you the most. you are my miracles and i would do anything for you. im so glad i could grow up with you, all plays and fights. you know if you need it i'll give you my kidney, but if you borrow my charger without asking AGAIN i will be telling mom. but for real tho guys. you are the best

[@MrSomeGamerdude]

while i dont have any sibling rivalry (mostly we get along real well for the most part. Any bad times doesn't last long between me & my sibling). I don't get that much attention from my parent compare to my younger sibling (even when I was the only child before my siblings came along) other than getting a high standard on education (other words, if grade start slipping, belt start whipping or stuff/privileged gets taken away. I prefer the latter on punishment).

[@OGSarah]

Disrespect and cruelty among siblings is often chalked up to “ sibling rivalry.” I disagree and won’t tolerate it from my two teens. They have the ability to communicate and get needs met and so, if disrespect occurs, I give one warning after which they are assigned “sibling time “ where they are forced to spend free time together doing an activity they both agree upon. If they fight or are more disrespectful, more time is added. They may not have any personal or free time ( or electronics) until all sibling time is completed successfully. Since Instituting this- we haven’t had more than small bickering among them.

[@shahadahjohari2425]

What does the last phrase mean? - “You must deal with them from this point of view [that their behaviour is to assert superiority]”. Interested to hear others’ interpretation of the above.

[@jeffreysommers7759]

I wondered the same thing. I have 2 daughters close in age who do not get along. Understanding sibling dynamics might really help them but it seems so difficult for most people to be open about their feelings and be vulnerable to others. It is a tragic part of the human condition in the US.

[@adarsh915]

Elder one observes a sense of 'superiority' in his father, superiority could be in any sense, the hard work, temperament, sacrifices, the way his father communicate with others... All these he inherit over time, but where does he perform those? outside the house? or around lower hierarchy of closed blood-related people?

[@_xO-Ox_]

Not challenging their egos ig? Not like praising them to the ends of earth that they get high on it but rather being smart and cautious with how you deal with them. Perhaps until the relationship becomes more stable and they feel no need to assert that, or if anything, they don't get challenged so conflict arises less frequently. That's what I've been able to interpret, at least.

[@lukasribin4168]

Why should any sibling get to feel more superior than the next?? My siblings are like this and they are younger, not older. I’m sick of walking in egg shells for their huge egos while they do everything to deride and diminish the fragments of what’s left of mine.

[@lukasribin4168]

*on

[@alienpig8279]

Thanks for this video

[@radaworld8137]

Love the drawings! Good job the artist!

[@SavvySaxy]

I love both of my younger brothers so much and we get along very well, however my parents definitely treat all of us differently and treat them worse than me so I always feel bad about that. This video also showed me that siblings spend more time with each other than their parents, which I already felt to be true but my mother gets jealous when I am with my brothers.

[@azkanoor6951]

4:55 here me and my sister can't even breath in same room 😂🤣 All we do is *conflict* ✨👀 😂

[@gab_just_gab]

I wish I had a better relationship with my older brother. He outright despised me for over half of my life.

[@lukasribin4168]

Do you know why? I despise my younger siblings but hey treated me like trash and like I was NOTHING for the majority of my life while I was already being bullied for looking so different from them and being ugly head to toe. Now I have no life, no accomplishments, I was good at school but had to leave due to bullying..only for my siblings to mistreat and neglect me as well, they purposely exclude me to this day while I isolate and suffer with every reason to die and no reason to live. I have ordered poison so that I can take my own life by the year’s end. I’m so tired.

[@MemeB0MB]

@@lukasribin4168 are you still alive?

[@yesicalicht4882]

While the video does explain these dynamics, I would have loved to see if there is a difference between ages of sibling and their differences. Siblings that are the same age might have a much more different approach and development than if the siblings were 5 years apart or even older, thus having different states of mind and treatment?

[@ilyaibrahimovic9842]

My family was dysfunctional, but I never sensed my sisters trying to prove themselves superior to me

[@azetaburn4491]

Sorry to ask, is the dysfunctional part is mainly just your parents, or even your siblings?

[@ilyaibrahimovic9842]

@@azetaburn4491 my sisters aren't completely healthy; they had to find ways to survive the dysfunction too. But I definitely think my parents are the most dysfunctional part of the family system

[@azetaburn4491]

@@ilyaibrahimovic9842 Your situation poses some similarities to me, instead of your sister it was me that are dysfunctional. As oldest with emotional baggage, I never feel to prove I am better than my younger siblings. It is more like a feel of camaraderie from soldiers, where you "the most experienced officer" had the job to balance between protecting the innocence of younger soldier, and also keep them in game for war.

[@caindahuman4758]

Honesty from what i can tell i am the sibling with the most hidden mental issues (i tend to bottle my emotions) and i am the oldest meanwhile my little brother i argue with a lot despite knowing that i know better about a lot of things he acts like he knows everything my younger sisters i get on rlly well

[@hackcubit9663]

I grew up with a sister two years my junior. There are definitely some points in this video that seem to be proven true with me and my sister. Amusingly, I seemed to inherit our mother's introversion, while my sister inherited our father's extroversion, and of the two of us, I'd say I'm the one who experiences social anxiety (though not by much).

[@LiLgPnoy15]

I bet many families go through this!

[@kadirm.4047]

Affect*, not effect

[@RB-yt6rx]

My sibling and i never fought outside of having trouble sharing/taking turns with things at times (as is natural. This is how you learn to compromise as a youth). Im the oldest of the two. Our parents didnt much care for either of us after a while so our bond grew closer as years went on. As his older sibling i felt like i had to care for him where other family members wouldnt. I would comfort him and take his side against them. It became very us vs them especially when we became teenagers. I was abused by our father and he was abused by most everyone else. It was tough for us to understand. We were very angry youths. But we had each other. Now we live on opposite sides of the country due to some events out of our control. (family fell apart). We still have a closer bond with each other than any other family even without talking much now. Our friendship has never been a question. Has never been a worry. Honestly it breaks my heart to be apart. I worry about him constantly.

[@line1631]

My siblings and I don’t have good social skills. We don’t like to be with other people and stay most of the time at home. We all are awkward with strangers and shy around them. It wasn’t always like this. Before Covid we were awkward but not as much as now. We don’t have the best relationship with each other but our home is still the best.

[@promotedtoparent8340]

It is amazing how different peoples experiences are. I had next to no conflict with my brother.

[@nevada4458]

My brother is 5 years younger than me and he always beats me, humiliates me and hates me And my parents love him because he is even "smarter" and he is a "good" kid I am 13 years old and now it is extremely difficult when my parents worship my brother and use all kinds of violence against me and when I cut my hands my parents see and beat me even more when they saw that I kissed a girl (I'm also a girl) they beat me and took me to a psychologist but the psychologist told the parents that it is not a disease but my parents still think their own way and hate me too.

[@mahmudhassan9021]

I am the first born with two other siblings but I never felt Rivalry to them. I love them as they are my kind of Power.

[@pretzelschannel6595]

Been a single child for 14 years of my life and I'm still hoping.

[@leticiaaguilar7729]

Wow I've been reading some of these stories and I thought I should share mine as well. I an the youngest of 3. Growing up my sister and brother were always mean to me. I looked up to my sister so I think that relationship affected me more than my brother. I am 29 now and I've been healing from that and i now know hiw my sister felt and why. I am a mom now of 3. I noticed how my oldest daughter is always mean to my younger daughter and at first I would always defend my younger one because I knew how that felt. But I also thought that I didn't want my relationship with my oldest daughter to be bitter like it is with my sister and my mom. So yes addressing how they might be feeling at the time they're doing the mean things is good to bring awareness to why they do what they do but also just spending one on one time is so important because I notice that I always have less time for her. She's the oldest and so the most independent and the younger ones take up so much of my time and affection that I give her less. So when I do have an opportunity to spend alone time with her I try to take it. But also if you can't find the time, talking is always good. Girls love talking so just sharing stories and trying to relate to them is helpful. Talk to them about the things that your mom or dad never talked about with you. Genuinely care for them and talk about all kinds if topics that teach them something. Body safety, peer pressure, body changes, being kind and God. Pull them over and dance with them. Be affectionate with them even if they don't really show it to you. Sometimes they don't do it because we as parents don't show the oldest ones affection like we do the little ones.

[@PrismMime47]

Is there a video on ... The brother and sister relationship dynamic? If a man was raised with only sisters; a woman raised with only brothers; or a mixed group? If the family had only girls or only boys? If there's not a video about the subject I would appreciate it. I think women and men understand each other better when they grow up together.

[@sprouts]

Noted

[@PrismMime47]

@@sprouts Hey thanks! I really appreciate it.

[@bean4435]

100% true. men who grew up with only sisters, respect women and step out of their way to make them feel comfortable, they are even more understanding and give more attention to their voices too. my dad grew up with 6 sisters, he is the most understanding man ever, he will even research on books to get to know us better. he also has no toxic masculinity, he's really funny and knows how unfair the world is to women. it was really fun having him as a parent. he is still is surrounded by only women coz of me, my sister and mom. he's very comfortable on the period talks, hormonal issues etc..

[@JCE0415]

Thank you for this video. This is powerful! I was just reading about Cain and Abel 😮

[@ultimate4166]

Great video

[@Gridkeeperr]

As an only child, I find myself happy by myself but sometimes I find myself so lonely without siblings which friends are basically my pseudo-siblings. I was supposed to be the oldest sibling with two siblings, unfortunately they did not make it through. Being an only child is fun but being an only child means you get things given to you even when you never asked. 😥 Since their the focus is on myself, I got nothing to lose if I ever fail. My parents claim that they are not comparing me but they talk about other kids so I am inspired and motivated. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I had a sibling, it'd be worrying because if they happen to be seen better off than me, I'd be looked down upon, "You don’t end up like your older brother" or something along the lines of toxic sibling comparison. Yet, I remember when I was in a public school and learnt that majority of my classmates had siblings but I don’t, siblings probably be the ones I'd reach out to for my problems, like I would not be running away if I had a sibling who listens to my problems. I made my dog my pseudo-sibling and therapist, just so I can talk my problems out even if I am not sure if they understand me besides my feelings.

[@sprouts]

Thanks for sharing this. I Like your writing

[@Bia-mp6mi]

I hear you. I'm also an only child and, now that my mom is getting older (64) it weights on me a little to be by myself. I wonder what my responsabilities will be in 10, 15 years when it comes to her. I also think having a sibling would help me mature earlier, maybe understand things that only now I'm seeing as not okay.

[@Icely_Cold]

Trust me, i have siblings and i feel lonelier than you

[@Antilogr]

I can relate as the firstborn brother, all of it.

[@yut-lungwei5612]

"On average, relationship between brothers are more conflicted. Relationship between sisters are more intimate." I'm not average then :D

[@samparticle]

Damn, I'm that "Cain" guy, I was jealous of how easy and allowing my parents were towards my younger brother, and especially how they gave more attention to him This thing is still unresolved in me to this day...

[@pomm1802]

I feel ya

[@lukasribin4168]

Literally. I’m the ugly abused one.

[@belaisout]

Watching this video because I have 4 siblings and I love all of them but sometimes I feel that I fail as a parent and I always try to do my best.

[@alyssamolloy4864]

Bruh my brother's are the worst. They call me ugly and make fun of me for no reason and start arguments, well only the middle brother does that. And when I tell my dad he doesn't do anything but says stop. Which doesn't do anything at all. Worst parenting skills ever

[@chiyumieproduction5665]

(english isn't my first language so I'm already sorry if I do mistakes ahah) I have a 15 y.o age gap with my little sis, and I've been extremly jealous in the first year of her life. It's not because of attention because I was already on my own and very happy with that. But because my parents have been really difficult with me and my dad make me live hell with his violence. But at the moment she was born they transform themself, as if I was a first try, an experience to be a good parent and be understanding. No more violence but a lot of love and caring, thing that I had a lack of during my childhood and today again, I feel empty about this. They are now separated and already talk about new childrens, I'm not that much close to them an this make me feel I'm not part anymore of their new families. We talk a lot about siblings but I think we also have to talk about step brothers and step-sisters.

[@shekharchowdhary]

The brother and sister relationship is not explained in the video. I was looking for that.

[@KuramiRocket]

Me too since I have two older brothers.

[@rahatthakur4480]

Talking about jealousy , I support my siblings most of the times and would love to see them become successful 😭🤧 I'd be like a proud parent . It's true that sometimes I bother them a lotttt 😂 because it's fun but that simply doesn't mean I am being mean, we all do it for fun ..

[@simonnilsson8375]

I was born into my family, and was neglected for my entire childhood. It felt like I was always alone even through my older sister was always in the room next to me. Spent an entire life just playing in my room with the few toys I had

[@seanchrisregner3390]

Like how we middle age are treated different than the younger ones because how precious they are Like the parents thought *"He can do on his own anyway since he is oLD eNOUgh"* Meanwhile from younger ones *"WHERE'S YOUR MOMMY YOU CUTYFJWNFCIS NFE VIDNRN ID BOYY HOW CUTE 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁"*

[@nithyasreesathyanarayanan5611]

I am the only child of my parents, but I have a cousin (my dad's brother's son) with whom I fought a lot when we were young. I even once hit him with a plastic bat once in anger. He was bleeding and I cried because I didn't mean it. But when I steeped into highschool, we got to know that we will always be treated differently among our families, and we started to like each other more instead. Because the adults liking us differently is not OUR FAULT. There's no use in fighting against each other for that. Now we're so close that if either of our parents scold us (for no reason), the other one either comforts or defends. I feel so protective of my little brother (we're only 2 years apart) for the past few years, and I'm proud of what he is today. Except for the fact that he doesn't take care of himself well. I have two more cousins (my dad's another brother's sons), the elder one who is so similar to me and I love him, the second one is gonna turn one in a few days! I can't wait to see them again, they are in a different country. They are brothers in everything but blood to me. Having siblings is so wonderful if you understand that the power struggle is not caused by the siblings but the adults.

[@SuliCm]

I’m pretty dependent on my sister. Both my parents scare me or drain me sometimes. But we both hang out with each other all the time and stay close by

[@zynre06]

I'm the eldest and me and my brother are 6 years apart. When my brother was born I didn't like that he was getting all the attention I remember crying for that sole reason after a few days I quickly became attached to my brother. We don't have the best sibling relationship but we're always there for each other. He's my bestfriend and ally.

[@ami8488]

When my younger sister was born I was only two years old .I actually was never jealous in any way I even accepted a lot of things for example that I had to sleep alone when I was 1 years old because there wasn’t enough space with my pregnant mother .My sister and me always had a strong bond but as we are getting older it’s not working out .As soon as I spend time with her she puts me down for the way I look or just for who I am.

[@Dae351]

From this video I can somewhat understand why my sister is sometimes so aggressive towards me for some reason.