Crusader Kings: 2.0 Review | You can (Not) Afford | Family Edition™

[@denysalbesko6840]

my best game in ck 2 was when I had my child trained in combat since early age and he actually ended up getting all the best traits for it - eventually growing up to be very good at fighting and duels. So I kept duelling people non-stop for fun until he was in his late 20s to early 30s - then he got some kind of event where he fucked off to my enemies country and just started dueling all the top tier generals and princes for lolz. Eventually his proficiency started to increase despite him getting injured from fighting really fucking strong warriors, I thought he would die but he kept killing them even though he was wounded. That king's country had all its best warriors and his heirs decimated and killed by him in duels. Eventually he ended up with a legendary bloodline trait that increased his combat proficiency and dueling trait. He died of old age after being undefeated and best fucking warrior in the world. Even his sons could not surpass him when he was almost 80.

[@woodlefoof2]

My best game was my first attempt at playing Muslims and decided to play as a count instead of a king, see how that was. Decided I would try out some of the DLC stuff I bought and joined satanism, made my son a lunatic, increased my wealth and landmass becoming the most powerful duke in Andalusia Until I got caught and sent to prison for sexual deviancy by engaging in a cuckold relationship where satan gave my wives his BDC I bought my ransom and the caliph decided to try taking my land, not without a fight he won’t, so I rebelled, just me against the whole caliphate. Or so I thought, apparently he tried taking a lot of land from the other dukes because it became a 7 way free for all civil war with the caliph possessing a grand total of 1 county against all of the dukes. then in the middle of it, i guess to spite the eventual winner he declared war on Italy while he was at it and then by sheer coincidence a crusade was declared on one of the kingdoms in the area, So thé during this 7 way free for all civil war the Christian and Muslim armies clashed to protect their religions All of my wives kids killed each other until one demon child remained. I then cast dark spells on him, making him a possessed lunatic and just made his life hell, no real reason for it. Eventually I came out on top during this civil war, and I executed the old caliph. Drove out the Christian menace and then invited a small girl into my court to give me immortality and she gave me a potion and I gave birth to myself but not before giving myself all of my land. I was then assassinated in my crib.

[@lachkickxdxdxd]

@@woodlefoof2 most insane shit i’ve ever read

[@MyVanir]

@@lachkickxdxdxd Just another day in CK2.

[@verified_JC_Denton]

That's some Dunedain level stuff.

[@quinnholloway5400]

Goddamm! You had a child who was a complete boss! Your heir is a goddamm anime protagonist who becomes the old sensai figure

[@UncleHaul]

“Luckily such horrific events are unlikely in modern times because of modern healthcare and sanitation.” God damnit Sseth

[@jeck988]

His power knows no bounds and his foresight beyond reproach

[@tfwthelsdkicksin6083]

I have a feeling that Sseth can alter reality itself.

[@jeck988]

very scary very likely let’s be thankful he a benevolent Jewish African warlord

[@tugrulemir1469]

I think sseth is actually a godly being from another dimension, preparing us for his eventual domination of all of humanity

[@lindholmaren]

Bogged

[@VEE-EYE-EM]

The first polish woman he ate was literally named “hope”

[@NGMK]

*second First was Salomea. Which is a name taken from hebrew and means "peace".

[@Oll1000]

Hope she tasted good.

[@dosdoomguy2285]

That’s the first thing that disappears in Eastern Europe

[@BlueBoy0]

@@dosdoomguy2285 The Polish?

[@dosdoomguy2285]

Blue Boy I meant hope but yes the Polish too

[@godemperorhueylong269]

"Infanticide isn't something I support, its something I recommend." I fucking died at that

[@christopher.saint.christopher]

“I’m not pro-choice, I’m pro-abortion.” - Doug Stanhope

[@AntonioSoares-im4zm]

The kids died too

[@BubblewrapHighway]

@@christopher.saint.christopher Yes. The only American hero.

[@TheTGOAC]

@@BubblewrapHighway hail the great white Stanhope that's not a racist thing that's just one of his album titles

[@Bluejay-ri1yf]

Are you an infant?

[@PoyntFury]

Narrator: *"He was not, in fact, about to get rid of the mold."*

[@Asiis]

Is this Ross' mold? Is it spreading??

[@mariaford5161]

Hi

[@112523]

@Juan Cortez Muro fuck off. you dont have content and you dont earn any subs

[@trueblueclue]

It's not mold. It's free antibiotics.

[@unconscious7219]

Is this the same guy who refused to clean the mold on his plate because he was busy playing Gothic?

[@strangerakari2836]

"Sister too old" - 17 years old "Marry her daughter" - 11 years old I'm not sure school taught me right arithmetics.

[@sernoddicusthegallant6986]

"OH NO" - Joseph Joestar

[@manhphuc4335]

Wait so his sister has her child at 6 then? Ok so the child is also officially too old.

[@ThatGuyNikolas]

no no, the CK logic checks out....

[@gabrieldiehl1068]

Youngest mother in the world was 5...

[@injectionletal66]

what is arithmetics ???

[@aurex8937]

"Dear Sister..." 6 months later: "Petty King Sseth Aep Tzeentach has contracted syphilis."

[@dompasmaco5266]

BASED

[@lusteraliaszero]

"perfect circle" is now an achievement in ck3

[@MikeRosadoGaming]

Wow.

[@illwill2205]

I guess i know what im redownloading it for now

[@antekknapek4635]

oh god oh no

[@Vesdus]

Finally.

[@wolcamophone4783]

Based

[@jonathanvilario5402]

Me before: "This game is unrealistic" Me now: "History is unrealistic"

[@LadyTylerBioRodriguez]

The textbooks must be wrong. They didn't mention the Aztec Invasion.

[@Goraka91]

There was definitely a ton of incest.

[@kriskropd]

@Mr. Villain Not when royal-families thought themselves as divine rulers.

[@LadyTylerBioRodriguez]

@@kriskropd I feel Charles the Second of Spain wouldn't call it divine... if he knew what that was since he was beyond inbred.

[@lamantinfurtif7465]

@John Galt how dare you insult best boy ?

[@firockfinion3326]

>Genghis Khan as a teenage girl conquering the world with her sorority. So he turned the world into an anime?

[@ShadowWolfRising]

I can hear the Anime writers furiously writing down notes.

[@SuperExodian]

omfg, i want it... GIVE ME FEMALE GHENGIS KHAN THE ANIME!

[@EinFelsbrocken]

"Khan-Chaaaaan~~ The chinese are rallying agaaain-dayo!" *Khan-Chan turns around in an epic way; while the camera zooms in while counterrotating to her movement; and then a jumpcut to a close-up of her mouth; where her stoic expression slowly gives way to a confident grin* "Saddle the horses; _MONGIRLIAN STEPPE TRIBE SISTER CIRCLE YAAAAHH!_ "

[@darkrider1878]

*FATE FRANCHISE* :Let us introduce our self's.

[@reklin]

@@EinFelsbrocken Voiced by Aoi Yuki.

[@alexyandfriends]

Says “We” after saying jews *new character info unlocked*

[@Ezio999Auditore]

Sseth Wiki *Early life*

[@Assault_Butter_Knife]

@@MinchPlayer Either you're a genius detective or you pulled all of that out of your ass. The only conclusions I could draw from all the videos I've seen is that he lives in London, currently studying something (probably IT related) and has a history of shitposting on 4chan

[@sambone2809]

@@Assault_Butter_Knife Don't know about Russia but he has talked about going to college, medicine, lives in uk and he says all the time he is a actual jew. ADHD is prob a guess

[@hannibalburgers477]

@@MinchPlayer Wtf are you talking about, he is obviously an African ex-warlord who just wants that sweet sweet youtube money given from merchants guild to save her family from Puritant ex-Jihadists

[@Assault_Butter_Knife]

@@sambone2809 Damn I guess I should watch more of him to get this. Also replace ADHD with light autism and we have an agreement

[@SpartanOli]

"The primary goal of CK2 and perhaps life itself isn't about living a good or bad life. It's about living an interesting life and inevitably to die an interesting death" "Take and do whatever you please in this life, because eventually it ends. And life can take anything and everything away from you. Except your stories, so better make them interesting, because we're all heading towards the same destination." That's actually very well written

[@harbl99]

Came here to laugh, not to feel. Damn you and your perfidious mercantile ways Sseth!

[@samuelvivalette9938]

Take the A.D.D. medication and you'll be a published philosopher in no time

[@DUKEHadToDoItToEm]

Unless we're not all going to the same place, and the merchant guild goes to a different hotter and darker place And by that I mean back to the holy land of Israel of course

[@2k1lex]

@@DUKEHadToDoItToEm Based

[@lersinclair5546]

Well, life can take everything from you, even your stories. Heard of Alzheimer's?

[@Mic15000]

Sseth's power is so strong, he made the game free on steam 4 days later. The Merchant guild power is overwhelming

[@Alignn]

So how about that CKIII teaser

[@willwrightcreatorofsims9813]

The trailer is vague and shows no gameplay. I am disappointed.

[@kekero540]

Coffee Creamerstein The screenshots look pretty gay. The artwork is gone and replaced with 3D animated characters

[@kekero540]

Chase Wilson Nah that was a rumor that wasn’t true

[@gabrielnieves3972]

Sseth is truly a god amongst men. Allah bless him

[@HellbirdIV]

>Crusader Kings >Family Edition Well, we all know where this is going.

[@asgrahim9164]

Incest is OK as long as you keep it in the family :^)

[@LadyTylerBioRodriguez]

Its good to be Zoroastrian... or that weird Christian branch.

[@MidWitPride]

"Our family heirlooms are the genetics"

[@agihammerthief8953]

Fun and pure blood for the whole family.

[@usegffr-oj8zp9ig2x]

Bro its a dinasty wich means family bussiness so keep it in FAMILY

[@camilguzman6488]

"My queen was like a bakery because she was getting bred" I shat myself laughing.

[@mikzin630]

bred*

[@smilemore7431]

**bread

[@JCDenton42069]

@Juan Cortez Muro You really should though. You're just re-posting crap.

[@chaotixthefox]

*bred

[@camilguzman6488]

Thanks for bullying me about it, I fixed it.

[@arongan8938]

3:08 is just too perfect. High Priestess Tyrande, who is unmarried, has two lovers. The first one is Malfurion, the Archdruid, and the other one is a murloc, a freaking random murloc. And it looks like she can't decide who is better, because in her mind they are equally matched.

[@andrascottier595]

Illidan on suicide watch

[@rishi7629]

What mod is that?

[@budakbaongsiah]

@@rishi7629 Guardians of Azeroth. You can no longer do that (at least if you turn the rule on).

[@glarnboudin4462]

I mean, props to the murloc for matching the bedroom prowess of a dude five times his size and with nature’s power at his fingertips.

[@Vynirian]

@@glarnboudin4462 yeah but he's always sleeping, thus the need for that side bitch

[@tysontronowicz3731]

"My queen was like a bakery, because she was getting bred."

[@cadens.308]

_distant wet slapping noises_

[@harbl99]

[Something suggestive about dough hooks to be finalized later]

[@tornadoandy123]

@Mial isus I'll have 5.

[@rejvaik00]

She was overstocked on 5$ foot longs

[@thetuerk]

@Michael Woods double that shit

[@caseytatum5837]

"Im not good at this game" Becomes the pope's fucktoy and conquers all christian lands

[@Hyewot]

He clearly used console commands. The male homosexual event that pops up has a max age to occur of 17. He definitely just typed event 1980 into the console and then lied about it being RNG for it to seem funnier.

[@KABLAMMATS]

@@Hyewot I'll never invite you to my party

[@Hyewot]

@@KABLAMMATS You're not invited to come raid England with me.

[@hackhenk]

@@KABLAMMATS Let's be honest, it's just your mom's birthday party and she said you could bring a friend.

[@manictiger]

It all starts when you're a small little altar boy.

[@evertime123]

"Invite beautiful women to the court to be eaten by the court" WHAT IS THIS, DARKEST DUNGEON?

[@MetalAcrean]

The lavish became mundane

[@PCGonline]

Dismas resolve... *irrational*

[@Dickstick]

Many fall in the face of chaos, but not this one. Not today.

[@SunchaserKandri]

Continue the onslaught! Destroy. Them. All.

[@kielbasamage]

*Whistles*

[@Geekezf]

I still remember my first game of CK2. I didn't manage my lineage, i finished with a blood line full of dwarves. Like, it was impossible to have "normal" kids thanks to incest. And since my family was spread all around the known world...In a few decades there was thousand of dwarves all around the kingdoms I.. litteraly created the dwarve race.

[@Nyghtking]

But were they good craftsman?

[@Geekezf]

@@Nyghtking that.. they weren't.

[@riccvven2078]

You mean... Dwarf syndrome people?? ./. They may be dwarf people, but it doesn't mean they have also a dwarf soul

[@TalosAcephalos]

ROCK AND STONE

[@catwif]

@@TalosAcephalosROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE

[@fxmaster2571]

Not gonna lie, the idea that a king would lock himself into a court and begin cannibalising beautiful women out of the fear that the black death will kill him (but ultimately proven a foolish thought) sounds like both actual history or a killer book idea. Hell, you could rework it into a bluebeard fairytale

[@aemonloper1346]

It sounds like something a dark souls npc would tell you through cryptic riddles

[@dainyvick8262]

Gives me The masquerade of the red death vibes.

[@aidanderson53X]

@@aemonloper1346 Aldrich's backstory from ds3 confirmed.

[@Tristan-42069]

That kinda storytelling sounds like stuff from Kafka

[@mostweasel9550]

It is strikingly similar to the plot of Delicatessen

[@mayy6758]

"life can take anything and everything away from you, except your stories" -Lord Tzeentach, 2019

[@coldfront8112]

Unless you have alzheimers

[@melelconquistador]

Life finds a way

[@CabezasDePescado]

Man that ending got too real lol

[@samgarrett5227]

It's actually a really good piece of philosophy

[@Drakyry]

Cringe. Sounds like Sseth overdosed on Stirner

[@ZeMalta]

Sseth finally makes a Crusader Kings II review. -couple of days later... *Crusader Kings III is announced with an infanticide trailer*

[@raptorjesus6120]

Suspicious or coincidental? I'll leave that for the esteemed viewer to decide.

[@HackionSTx]

Don't forget it going free.

[@therodyman700]

He should make a Half life 2 review

[@johnnygreenface]

@@HackionSTx sseth wpuldnt be happy about thay

[@MikeRosadoGaming]

Omg.

[@thechrononaut1]

"Doom is not a very good book. In fact, it's not a book at all." My IQ just went up by 50 points.

[@ZeroSTF]

"Divorce your sister because she's too old" *age:17*

[@catelyn719]

If she doesn't have a child at 16, there's no hope. She's obviously barren.

[@EinFelsbrocken]

@@catelyn719 - probably 80% of medieval doctors

[@statiksea]

Appropriate profile pic

[@SaraSara-oe6il]

@RexXflash Allah be praised. Ish-Allah

[@SaraSara-oe6il]

@RexXflash I'll take that as a sarcastic remark.

[@Alimbaikhati]

"Your wife is having affair with....your other wife" "God bless being a muslim"

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

You can actually have up to 4 wives as a muslim,pagan,or eastern ruler

[@CommanderM117]

@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Gods bless being a Pagan

[@SA-rb5xq]

This is best as a reformed Zunist. Then you get incest polygamy and your people loves you for it.

[@theblackbaron4119]

Absolutely Halal :))))

[@sciuresci1403]

@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 no only muslims have 4 wives. Pagans have concubines that you can divorce without any consequence. Muslims have to pay one time alimony.

[@PanzerIVAE]

"Infantecide is not something I support, It's something I recommend" Beautiful

[@amberbuttersz]

Aerunn Allado ...so you married her daughter...

[@tomasjavorsky5323]

Indeed.

[@lankyyyyyy]

8:27 - Portchester Castle, in case you were curious. There's quite an interesting timeline with its construction, since it started off as a Roman fort and evolved into what was effectively a Norman motte-and-bailey.

[@aurex8937]

"Meat is back on the menu, boys!" ~Petty King Sseth Aep Tzeentach, circa 892AD

[@Nudhul]

@Joseph Ellis Yes, but specifically the Saruman-loyal uruk-hai killing the lower orcs for defying mission orders.

[@betternoun6435]

“Infanticide is not something I support, it something I recommend” - Sseth, 2019

[@reklin]

You're quoting him like that's not something a thousand other CK2 players haven't said before. There's a very good reason we're banned from crossposting to r/NoContext.

[@gamerito100]

"Why can't I kill my kids?" Every player with too many kids and gavelkind

[@jeck988]

Sir Jocas El Jocoso they’re a mod for that I recommend it

[@Traece]

No matter how much you may want to love and care for your innocent and ambitious little pixels, nothing will strip morals and ethics away from you like the succession warning hovering at the top of your screen and ever-reminding you that upon death your generations of blobbing will be instantly undone.

[@solidboss1000]

"Marry ur sister, divorce ur sister, and then marry ur sister's daughter" Hol up

[@reklin]

Then you realize she's actually a bear, so you divorce her, send her to marry the Aztec invaders, and hope she eats their emperor.

[@wulfgarpl]

Don't worry, it's not against the law. You are the law.

[@gestaltengine6369]

incesption

[@harbl99]

True dominance is expressed by being the only male ancestor for 5 generations.

[@Xtoxinlolinecronomicon]

You must be new to CK.

[@Lee-yo5cl]

Start playing as an Irish count. End up an Egyptian king. 10/10 BEST GAME EVER!

[@2Potates]

"Infanticide is not something i support, it's something i recommend."

[@shurik121]

Yes, it's one of the best ways to obtain someone else's land. Just murder everyone until their dynasty is no more.

[@sammaxgoof8507]

MrPotates King late Abortion from the hangar kingdom

[@citus333]

@@shurik121 You are goddamn right

[@alhassani626]

spoken like a true jew

[@gabrielinostroza4989]

We gotta eat the babies -Sseth

[@johndxdxd]

Not even a minute in and the words "jew" and "incest" are said. This gonna be good

[@wesker919]

Don't worry. They're so used to it, it won't hurt their feelings.

[@raspberrypie1706]

@@wesker919 oy vey

[@Griff00]

@Mial isus but sseth admitted he was jewish

[@Nolan431]

@Mial isus ur gay

[@koilamaoh4238]

All Religions include incest and pedos, its prety common. Nothing surprising about it.

[@mungsmemekitchen6277]

The death sounds are amazing when you're doing some kind of mass killing (ie religious deportation) and it plays 9000 instances of random deaths at once. It's glorious for a half a second before your game crashes

[@a-drewg1716]

or when your prisons are crowded so you hit that magical button. Then you get 100+ death sounds from men to women to children and it is a beautiful symphony of voices screaming out until.... silence. I swear I am not psychopathic.

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

Sometimes to let out some steam I just mass execute my prisoners. Fuck the council, I am king and I want them dead

[@pedrolmlkzk]

@@a-drewg1716 you are just a normal ck2 player, beyond any psychopathlogies

[@LemursManLemurs1]

@@pedrolmlkzk Our goals are beyond even our own comprehension. Capable of complex thought, yet entirely ruled by our primitive drives.

[@dylanbell268]

@@a-drewg1716 someone finally put it into words

[@johnstajduhar9617]

"I am not that good at the game" as he describes the PERFECT plague survival strategy. I never thought of using the spawn courtier decisions to feed my hunger!

[@sawyervuorensyrja4703]

“Infanticide is not something I support. It’s something I recommend.”

[@SrStakeholder]

👌

[@spootato]

the man, the legend the only person capable of speaking in a way that auto-generated subtitles accually work

[@notdoppler9833]

What?

[@xavierfaust9417]

LMAO how is that even possible??

[@Mullach21]

I don't like how correct this is.

[@Full_Throttle_Axolotl]

"hey hey people chef here"

[@kajjez]

Fun fact. The death sound at 13:11 is voice acted by Fred Wester, former CEO and Chariman of Paradox Interactive.

[@kajjez]

In fact, almost all the death sounds are done by Paradox employees.

[@kajjez]

Also, one of the CK2/3 devs did actually work on the Lego games.

[@Chordus_Gaius]

@@kajjez Now that's info.

[@kurtcobain279489]

Kudos to the actress who did the crushed to death screams, mixed with the foley sounds they are definitely the most intense of the death noises.

[@mainaccount3087]

Um. Former?

[@ianalivio4006]

2 years ago, this video was my gateway into sseth's cesspit of game reviews my only regrets are that we dont have more of this madman's content and that im far too poor to join the merchant's guild

[@ipimees]

I lost it when he seamlessly switched to warcraft characters

[@Envy_Dragon]

WC3 Human music was also playing during the seduction of the pope.

[@CabezasDePescado]

yeah i was like wtf is this a Warcraft game?

[@avtuunainen]

@@CabezasDePescado It's a mod. There are mods for everything for CK2.

[@PanzerIVAE]

@@CabezasDePescado There's just a very good Warcraft mod for it Last time I played I was an all powerful Murloch Lich that bitchslapped both the Alliance and Scourge alongside eating everyone and everthing I can get in my prison It's great!

[@Dolando_Brando]

"We've been expelled so often, you really won't hurt our feelings if you do it again." "We" 🤔

[@Baleur]

This nigerian prince has a complex ancestry xD

[@Voult_Bioy]

Dolando Brando Sseth is an ethiopian jew

[@WhosDnisify]

Gas

[@souldry]

My heart is a fedpost That’s alright, one day you’ll finally have a solution to that problem.

[@Drakyry]

He's russian-jewish. He said as much on his discord

[@Bohnant]

God, I've been a Sseth's fan enough to suspect that that USB key really exists

[@crybirb]

There's absolutely no reason for it to not exist and he do that. I really believe it's out there in London, waiting for a fan to pick up and upload the pic of it on Reddit.

[@leepcool]

im almost autistic enough to go and check lol

[@leonardofernandez6488]

I would bet that it definetly exists.

[@leepcool]

I'm cycling to where he said now

[@lolpl0000]

Marcos Wicket it’s in London though right

[@picassoraptor1907]

"Luckily such atrocities are unlikely in modern times, due to modern healthcare and sanitation." That did not age well.

[@beageler]

Just because people start to realize that the USA have a third world health care system, doesn't mean that modern medicine isn't almost uncomparably better than medieval...

[@beageler]

@jocaguz18 Do you have a point?

[@youcantbeatk7006]

Aged like milk.

[@youcantbeatk7006]

@@beageler That's not the point. I'm dumbfounded people stupid as you can exist. The comment wasn't about the USA's healthcare, it was about China's sanitation. Also I'd like to add that the USA does not have anything close to third world heath care. We don't have crackheads running up to you trying to sell you used bandages when you scraped your knee.

[@beageler]

@jocaguz18 I just got what you wanted to say, that social distancing is an atrocity just like cannibalism. Well... I don't really know what to say to that :-/

[@TheOneAndOnlyFCK]

“Your wife was having an affaire with your other wife...yes you have two . God bless being a Muslim “ Fcking made me spit my tea

[@gestaltengine6369]

thank Christ for muslims

[@dosdoomguy2285]

Yeah because you can stone your lesbian adulter wife’s for breaking to of Allahs commandments in Sharia law.

[@Casanuda]

Why? Did a goose ring a big pointless bell near you?

[@crawlingboy]

@Big Bad Black Dick you won't really mind us cause we are pretty much sane my dude

[@crawlingboy]

You mean allhamdullilah being a muslim for better accuracy

[@KingMoon110]

*"So, i've married a horse and produced an entire Lineage who did not care for the ways of man"* This is the best- most disgusting thing i'ver heard.

[@nekikins4936]

touma thanks.. I hate this

[@SeruraRenge11]

It's technically just part 4 of Gulliver's Travels

[@mariano1196]

sounds like some shitty Doujin

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

@@SeruraRenge11 I love that book

[@almalone3282]

@@mariano1196 *Holy*

[@ashura9699]

God’s in his heaven, all’s right with the world.

[@leonardofernandez6488]

Ah, I see you are a lilim of culture as well.

[@ViewTube_Emperor_of_Mankind]

IS THAD A MOTHAFUKKEN NEON GENESIS EVANGELION REFERENCE???!!! :)

[@artyomgunard4491]

For this game, that sentence is correct

[@matthewriggen4334]

I recognize this from Charles Ives' "Majority"!!

[@ganon4688]

But that was 15 years ago.

[@aroventalmav888]

I remember my first horde run. I reformed Tengri to have hungry gods and figured out the maximum amount of sacrifices at once on my computer was 30ish. It made quite the sound.

[@TopKunt]

"being gay is pretty gay, but not as gay as marriage" I'm gonna use that, you can't stop me

[@RecoveringLoLAddict]

But... Seth is both gae and married *HE IS DOUBLE GEI*

[@kneep1111]

@Focus Support pls Don’t worry, the two gays cancel out

[@exu_skully8728]

foda

[@Circ00mspice]

He must be utra gay for being married to a trap bodypillow

[@RedMaitreya]

@@Circ00mspice If we do the math he is indeed ultra gay

[@yungmythologist]

This is what I pay for. To see my name scroll past at lightspeed to yoda CBTing himself. Also, a game review, I guess.

[@TeamOneDay]

It would be a waste of money if we didn't get some Yoda CBT.

[@TheRealRusDaddy]

I too enjoy watching my dollar fly by on the screen

[@Thomas-sv2ez]

Even at that speed it takes 2 min and 30 secs to go through the whole thing. The merchant guild is getting bigger by the day.

[@blackwolfrules56]

CBT has just been all over my life recently

[@planescaped]

Sseth has a fuckton of patrons...

[@AMnotQ]

“Excuse me ladies, we’ll have to put our extreme coitus on hold - a Sseth video has been posted, and The Guild will flog me if I miss another upload.”

[@Ch0bis]

I read this in his voice XD

[@baronnolanvonstraya5743]

ANOTHER????

[@howtodoge]

e x t r e m e c o i t u s

[@Null_Experis]

Little life protip here Sseth, but the best way to preserve a fast food burger is to remove anything that isn't meat, cheese, bread, or condiments and freeze it. Then, when you want to eat it, you put it in a bamboo steamer with a sheet of lightly greased heavy duty foil under it, and steam it until hot. You might think this results in a soggy burger, but it doesn't. The steam refreshes the stale bread and the foil on the bottom prevents the steam from soaking into the bottom bun, while the top bun is free to vent excess moisture naturally. Additionally, the steam-cooked foil will crisp up the bottom of the bun. Afterwards, you replace any missing lettuce or tomatoes with fresh produce from your fridge.

[@FourOfClubs]

"Fluffy organic matter."

[@BlueTemplar15]

Still better that that god-damned squirming organic matter that ends up flying away that happens in the summer because you recycle most of your trash and so only rarely throw out the organic garbage...

[@gameler9121]

​@@BlueTemplar15 Elaborate.

[@vidmastereon]

"Infanticide is not something I support, it's something I recommend" -Moloch would like to know your location

[@terner1234]

המולך

[@wittyreviewer]

Starting CK2: I'm gonna raise a noble Empire! 6 hours in to CK2: How do I marry my cousin who is also my daughter?

[@johnmorgan215]

This, only every time I start CK2.

[@wittyreviewer]

@Sad Phrogé There is

[@Kuolonen]

@Sad Phrogé There's mods for that. You wont find them in steam workshop though.

[@munat6662]

@@Kuolonen Where do you find them then? Is there like a Lover's Lab for this game? Asking for my penis

[@huitzilopochli1976]

Sad Phrogé Dark World Extras my guy

[@DUKEHadToDoItToEm]

Crusader Kings, AKA that game that made my friend scream into the discord chat with 0 context "dammit I need my children to become diseased and die, there's too many of them!"

[@michaelkelley1787]

Sseth playing Stellaris would be a experience I wish to witness.

[@mmouse1886]

@LordMunchkin Not to mention how Stellaris Changed from being completely standalone from all the other Paradox Grand Strategy games to now just a poorly made Viccy II Mod where the AI is even more broken that usual and you may or may not be in space. but for all intense and purposes you might as well be on a singular planet for all of being an Interstellar Empire is.

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

Warhammer references...Mostly Warhammer references

[@m.thorton9305]

with furry and alien hentai mods of course

[@harbl99]

@LordMunchkin Greetings from late 2020 and the era of the "Loading: 30% ... 30% ... 30%" debacle. The game reloads from scratch for each and every mod you have active. End my suffer.

[@kraanz]

@@mmouse1886 "...for all intense and purposes..." Brilliant. Only "for all intense porpoises" sounds dumber than that.

[@beatingstuff88]

Sseth: "i cant recommend it due to the price tag" Me: "Laughs in 15$ humble bundle deal that included all the major dlc's"

[@ujug.g5592]

me: "Laughs in 0$ deal spend on pirate bay

[@durrrhurrrderpderpderp9932]

@@ujug.g5592 cs.rin.ru is a good site for it as well

[@Nayckron]

I bought the game and five mayor DLC for 1 Buck, lol.

[@Sassy_Witch]

I just paid for the base game and pirated all the DLCs. Makes it possible to use Mods

[@hectorandem2944]

"These ones right here, officer" 👮

[@The105ODST]

When the family tree looks like a Christmas wreath.

[@Murmarine]

When the family tree is a straigth line

[@catwif]

going through a shitty period in my life and the ending excerpt really hits different. i watched you since i was like 13 and now im a grown adult, during this time your videos never failed to make me laugh. thank you seth.

[@TheGlukk3r]

And now the vanilla crusader kings 2 is free. No way this is a coincidence and wasn't planned by merchant guild.

[@Cheshiremd]

They announced ck3 and after that base ck2 became free. They want to expand playerbase before ck3 release.

[@pooppoop6546]

@@Cheshiremd the old god's is free as well

[@thegrandcanyon9861]

poop poop really? It still costed on steam last I checked.

[@JoeyDorson7735]

This was just a giant ad for McDonald’s...

[@neliz2k]

Oh, and here I was just about ready to commit adultery on my sister-wife with her youngest daughter.

[@YuffX]

Merchant Guild has no shame

[@dddmemaybe]

did you even look at those burgers. I'm gonna hurl lol.

[@chadthundercock7897]

My wife, Glitterhoof the immortal god-horse, and I enjoyed this.

[@FF009A]

2 months late but username checks out.

[@TheHamAssassin]

"So, you can loudly proclaim on your deathbed-" Headphones: "Battery Low Please Charge On Time"

[@andyman301]

PSA: If you have a friend with all of the DLC, if you download the game through their account, then log back into your own you can use the DLC until the next update.

[@zm1786]

Want to help an brotha out

[@daskaffeetschal8635]

this really works? can u get the DLCs that way, then host a multiplayer game with the DLCs?

[@sicksadsaint6751]

@@daskaffeetschal8635 in short - yes you can

[@TheEddiefiend]

@@daskaffeetschal8635 also creamapi

[@TackX22]

I like the idea that he might have literally stashed a USB full of CD-keys in london somewhere.

[@DatCameraMON]

Me: "Wait, there is a World of Warcraft CKII mod?" Sseth: **shows a murloc asking for Jaina's hand in marriage. It is accepted.** Me: "What the fu-"

[@HackionSTx]

Marryloc marries Jaina Proudmrgl

[@Mariodash23]

I can hear Arthas screaming internally in the Shadowlands.

[@sorrowsinme]

Jesus!! I can hear every fan boy screaming because of the lore.... Damn... I need to play this, now

[@luscinius2933]

@@sorrowsinme I don't think anything can be worse, than what Blizzard already doing with the universe since...idk, Lich King?

[@claytonkickflip7595]

@@luscinius2933 People like you ruin games. Just so you know.

[@jackdoe336]

"Pøpe 🅱️rancis, I cräve yuor forbidden pøpsicle." ‐ Charlemagne Tha God

[@atillanandorfuri3343]

Popesicle hah

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

Poppu-sama wa kawaii desune~

[@patbaitman3357]

Broke: Watching Sseth for the review W O K E: Observing Sseth's tastes in women through his cropped /trash/ folder

[@MinecraftLovesSteve]

The more I watch, the more I realize him and I aren't so different...

[@sekireialpha]

When was this?

[@caesarslegiondecanus9090]

Imagine living the life without internet in Medieval and not even technology to see around only to get Thanos snapped by a rat.

[@lordomega9959]

Lol

[@skeggi3836]

@Sad Phrogé youre about four years too late to make fun of minecraft youtubers

[@40mm-Grenade]

Made wait 3 minutes. "Why are we here? Just to suffer?"

[@40mm-Grenade]

60 seconds left.

[@40mm-Grenade]

30 now I'd say.

[@40mm-Grenade]

Are you bullshitting me. Waited the 3 minutes. Now I have to wait another 1 minute and 30 seconds. This is beyond immoral. Never has a torture so vile been conceived before.

[@40mm-Grenade]

Yoda death screech is so good. "Crush my cock with a rock, I must. Maximum pain I must endure. Aaaahhhhh"

[@RedMaitreya]

Oh god cock and ball torture

[@bjarkiorleifsson6100]

Not a cell phone in sight, just people enjoying living in the moment.

[@miecraftandmoregames]

oh yeah, how much joy where those times!

[@swevixeh]

And dying the next moment

[@ederanged7960]

Damn! This whole time a game that allows me to promote a horse to cardinal, marry one of it's devoted Catholic appointees, birth a Human-Horse hybrid and ascend my spawn to immortality was right under my nose. Thanks Crusader Kings and thankyou Seth. xx

[@cheekychief2273]

Sseth: “you can’t afford this game” That’s why god created torrent files sseth

[@Zack-fu4lo]

Salivar Ravilas only the base game Sseth said it himself. You need the dlcs to get it up and running

[@James_Wisniewski]

You could risk infecting your PC with AIDs by downloading the game from a Swedish website with more porn advertisements than space, and have to pay $2000 to buy/build a new gaming PC when it inevitably starts having seizures, or you could pay $200 to buy the game legitimately. Hm...

[@szymongrela6557]

@@James_Wisniewski if you manage to destroy your computer downloading pirated ck2 you probably already have aids

[@duckmeat4674]

Or how about supporting the developers instead of pirating? Crazy thought i know

[@Kraska93]

@@duckmeat4674 Is 200 dollar a reasonable price for a game though? And yes, the base game is shit and that's on purpose. It's a well known strategy Paradox has always used in order to milk every last cent from your pocket.

[@Th3Princ3P3rcia]

"we've been expelled so often" sseth is a jew confirmed

[@nawtilismaelis2043]

I unsubbed.

[@legio1942]

Yea, he's Ashkenazi from Russia.

[@coppeis]

@@legio1942 proof?

[@arnantphongsatha7906]

@@coppeis He said that on a podcast once, not sure if he was serious though. It's kind of hard to tell with our warlord.

[@hallowedbeyourdays]

@@kronkrian100 Man, this pick for a game to review was true to form.

[@Qwufi]

As the comments have proven: every word of his is golden.

[@RealTallestSkil]

👃🏼: “DID SOMEONE SAY GOLD?”

[@PanjaRoseGold]

7:22 is latin for "I saw, I came, I went". Let's ponder on that a moment.

[@PanjaRoseGold]

@Melvin Garcia Well I don't speak French anyway

[@qusai05]

It's actually " I saw, I conquered, I came"

[@OdaVenom]

1979 Alien trailer screams is the most terrifying sound you'll ever hear. Base boosted LSW Yoda: My beer you hold!

[@skipskip342]

"I woke up one day and i was gay" Oh so that's how it happens!

[@blueoceancorporations1019]

J. K. Rowling decided that his time had come.

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

Most unfortunate

[@Tedger]

Total rng

[@Khoros-Mythos]

@@hahmann Gay not bi, dingus.

[@yoursonisold8743]

On the upside, if the Pope is also gay you get all of Europe.

[@major_havok7854]

“Luckily such horrific events are impossible in modern times because of modern day medicine and hygiene” Coronavirus would like to know your location

[@possiblybean2023]

Hey, the CK2 team made the Black Death/Reaper's Due free Mar. 14th. Though it's not anymore, The Old Gods DLC is free on their main website, which let's you play Pagans

[@williamsmith6706]

@@possiblybean2023 i just pirated the whole game

[@lucario180496]

I came just to comment that exact thing.

[@hanselsihotang]

> *Closes the border* Modern problem requires Medieval solution.

[@Marwington]

Pretty sure the whole mess right now started in Sseth's fluffy organic matter.

[@teekay851]

Honestly a work of art, i have never witnessed such an incredible review of a game before.

[@Edge15555]

2 mins in: *Sengoku Rance gameplay* My hyper weapon is ready.

[@brosephnoonan223]

_What patrician tastes you have, brother._

[@Recolation]

It would be nice and timely for a review since it just came out officially in English

[@itsaBoomer]

"this game, just a like a woman in her mid forties, is a bit barren"- I died.

[@thegiiks]

sseth: CK2 review paradox: here is CK3

[@juergen4ever]

Time for a Victoria II review.

[@inawarminister]

@@juergen4ever Victoria III mana Edison

[@maxducks2001]

9:30 Nothing like sacrificing your 1 year old daughter to Hela, and then consuming her organs to absorb her life force, extending your life by a pitiful amount, only for you to be killed by complete accident.

[@Carofdoom1126]

I have 200 hours in CKII and never once thought about killing my rival's infant children before they come to power. You are truly a sick genius

[@CompagnonDeMisere25]

I have 1477 hours and killing infants is my standard modus operandi, better get rid of them before they can fight back.

[@planescaped]

Children are so much easier to kill though...

[@juergen4ever]

@@CompagnonDeMisere25 "Fly, little bird, fly!"

[@zacharybelica195]

"We have fluffy organic matter" is not a thing i expected to be so funny, yet it was

[@sopmodo8122]

"My sister got pregnant, but I was outside wasn't I?"

[@velzaresp8623]

You should pay someone to know more.

[@johnnygreenface]

@@velzaresp8623 then confront her after no evidence is found. Dispite it walys ending in her saying naw

[@planescaped]

Doubt besets me!

[@mfwiloseintouhoubossfights9305]

There are 2 solution Assassination or assassination

[@nicopootato2330]

We need a compilation of Sseth's IRL clips, they are too funny.

[@sontypohnenamen5161]

„I woke up one day and i was gay... most unfortunate.“

[@dusty_wings]

Everytime... Pray the gay away wont work this time! REEEEEEEEEEE!

[@mistral9950]

See Felix at 0:00.>.>

[@dusty_wings]

@@mistral9950 fuckin hot. All i have to say.

[@rejvaik00]

That's okay sex with a black girl cures that instantly

[@sufyansmits6410]

"Not becoming a footnote in History but... still a footnote but an interesting one." I think you already became one after what you've done with that $1000 from patreon.

[@StrikeWarlock]

*$10,000

[@171xlr]

It was the God Hand hentai?

[@mikeoxlong1395]

@@171xlr He spent 10k on hentai? Now that's a madlad if i've ever seen one.

[@mikeoxlong1395]

@@ng3898 Oh, only 1k, still, quite the patronage to the art.

[@mikeoxlong1395]

@@ng3898 Yeah, in the NSFW section, i was planning to go trough it , for research purposes of course. I was contracted by the Merchant's Guild, they wanted to check up on their investment.

[@celavomudo1790]

"Turn your family tree into a family circle"

[@AllenorLP]

Pope Stephanus: Charlemagne: "I've come for your pickle"

[@blazingpelt]

2:02 "This game is actually just a very simple Excel spreadsheet..." *Arumba07 has entered the chat*

[@Admiral_Jesus]

If ckII was just excel spreadsheets he would drop eu4 instantly

[@freewaycola4557]

The drawing of Sseth breaking Mandalores back on the start of the video is just golden

[@rejvaik00]

Where?

[@lukatomas9465]

@@rejvaik00 top left.

[@juergen4ever]

Holy shit.

[@harbl99]

HFS! Best easter egg (and confirmation of all Sseth/Mandalore shipping fanfics)

[@MrbBlackOps]

*Opens KZbin app and this is the first video that pops up in my feed* "You know...I knew he would get to this game eventually, but I'm still kinda surprised"

[@zeromailss]

9:05 "Luckily such horrific events are unlikely in modern time because of modern healthcare and sanitation." Let's see if this is still the case in a few months

[@shards-of-glass-man]

Ah, finally, the unholy trinity of "forbidden on r/nocontext" is united in the dark and damp caverns of Sseth's channel.

[@alysondavy2485]

What's the other two?

[@ardenorcrush649]

@@alysondavy2485 Probably Rimworld and Kenshi.

[@cliffracer_]

@@ardenorcrush649 Don't forget Dwarf Fortress

[@ardenorcrush649]

@@alysondavy2485 No, wait, the second banned is Dwarf Fortress. I don't know the third.

[@shards-of-glass-man]

Rimworld and Dwarf Fortress

[@thekinginthenorth8011]

Medieval Europe: "These were some pretty brutal, insane times." CK2: "Hold my cannibalistic incest and bubonic plague."

[@maverikmiller6746]

"Grand strategy is to strategy what Doom is to literature" Based.

[@gabrielnieves3972]

Doom is an actual book

[@maverikmiller6746]

@@gabrielnieves3972 Is it a good read ? :)

[@tomtheconqerur]

@@maverikmiller6746 nope

[@selathekobold9832]

Is it a joke on difficulty?

[@maverikmiller6746]

@@selathekobold9832 No it is probably exactly what it sounds like and I agree. I had only played RTS and TBS until last year. Last year I tried playing EU4 seriously. After 8 months of playing I can attests what Sseth is saying. There is no "strategy" in a GSG. It is all bulls*** statistics, RNG and artificial restrictions.

[@orboakin8074]

10:00 I discovered this OST via Kings & Generals Mongols video in 2018. I liked it so much and even asked them twice for the song's name to no further response. I gave up on ever finding the song until today when I was watching this review of yours and I suddenly heard the music playing! Then I searched and found this. Thanks for uploading👍