St. Nick's Happy Clappy Anti-Slappy Song

St. Nicholas loves you.
But he's very tired of the played out Arius jokes.

[@TTurmDawg]

LutheranSatire: "Guys St. Nicholas slapping Arius at Nicaea is getting really old please find something new to joke about." Me: "Haha Arian slapping go brrr"

[@ZealotFeathers]

You know this is just a massive invitation to keep on doing it, right?

[@teacon7]

That's how the internet works

[@CarolusInciusEtScoti]

I hope we know that... :) God loves you Pastor Fiene.

[@CarolusInciusEtScoti]

Too bad Pastor Kistler blocked me for being an Irishman who asks theologically difficult questions.

[@joshhigdon4951]

@@CarolusInciusEtScoti like transubstantiation?

[@CarolusInciusEtScoti]

@@joshhigdon4951 Be careful... Transphobia alert! You know... you could be transtransgender... which means you are man who identifies as a woman who identifies as a man.

[@cousinbryan3007]

He snuck around doing good, and he wasn't afraid to punch a clown. He was 4th century Batman.

[@gerrardthemagnificent5960]

I'm glad someone else said it, the joke is getting pretty old. That being said, the whole life of Athanasius should be a meme. Best part was where they accused him of cutting off an Arian's hand and then he called that guy as a witness and he had two hands and the accusers got up and ran away while others accused Athanasius of re-growing the guy's hand with sorcery.

[@nilsniemeier5345]

And don't forget the whole nighttime escape on the river where guards asked him if they'd seen Bishop Athanasius and he pointed in the opposite direction and said, "He went thattaway!" and, not recognizing him, they believed him.

[@prayunceasingly2029]

I heard Athanasius was some kind of criminal during his life on anti trinitarian websites? They claim his worst actions were covered up?

[@gerrardthemagnificent5960]

@@prayunceasingly2029 Yeah so he was a very large opponent of the Arians and lots of false accusations were made of him being a brutal monster committing violence against Arians. The most extreme case was the allegation he cut that guy's hand off. Now something he did actually do was enlist a Roman garrison to evict an Arian priest from a church.

[@Mygoalwogel]

St. Athanasius is the bomb. Other Fathers, you read them because you wanna know the truth. But like, Life of St. Anthony! That book was seriously a good read even just for entertainment value alone.

[@justanotherbaptistjew5659]

@@nilsniemeier5345 I’ve heard that the guard ship was behind him and they called out “have you seen Athanasius?” And he responded, “yes! Just go faster and you’ll overtake him soon!” They soon passed him and sped down the river in search of him.

[@itscontentcrusader]

I don't care if he didn't slap anyone... he's still a hero to me. 🎅🏽

[@robertcatherwood7362]

I actually forgot about the whole Arius smackdown by Nick thing until you posted this. Don't forget your WWF/WWE heritage, bro. Arius deserved at least a folding chair, after all. He got off easy.

[@julietteakers624]

Wasn't that Bobby Knight with the folding chair?

[@Post-ModernCzechoslovakianWar]

To be honest, I don't think it even needs to have jokes made of it. I just find it funny that St. Nicholas would slap a heretic. I mean, that's funny in itself to me. Not the funniest thing, but it always puts a smile on my face.

[@chipcole4817]

It’s not a joke it’s a reminder to slap heretics.

[@TheLutheranSatire]

@@tcschenks I'm so sorry to disappoint you with this free content

[@Dvstvrm]

@@tcschenks Cmon Patrick!

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

Thats anti-christian

[@acekoala457]

@@carolinpurayidom4570 Heresy is Anti-Christian.

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

@@acekoala457 Yes but we are to love even our eneies slapping someone is not love

[@joelancon7231]

Hey Pastor Hans did you know that St. Nicholas slapped Arius at the Council of Nicea

[@JoshN91]

This song is slapping! Sorry… I’ll go to my room now…

[@lutheranpriest]

St Nick might be tired of the slap jokes, but not the rest of us! By the way, this is hilarious. Keep up the good work, Hans!

[@staceyburchette3276]

I was confirmed this year and being new to Lutheranism (or church history more broadly), I was quite amused to learn of Saint Nicholas's slapping of Arius. Maybe I'll be tired of the jokes next year, but I've enjoyed them this year :)

[@jrodmcscary]

Same! It's still new to me. I just learned about it a couple years ago.

[@nicholasshaler7442]

Check my username to see how long I’ve been hearing them, and I still chuckle.

[@colorfularty]

Man, this song slaps.

[@Ray_Sexton_]

When the world needed him the most he returned

[@DocBlochead]

I'm still going to celebrate the second best part of Christmas.

[@chickensouplover516]

I'm still gonna slap Arians.

[@justinien1er389]

How christlike... Rlly, a pacificist, christlike arian is more elevated in the Kingdom of God than a nicener who slaps anybody who disagrees with him.

[@jeffslote9671]

It’s really easy when they knock on your door

[@troyneujahr7314]

St. Nick slapping memes have about as much chance of being played out as Donall and Conall. IOW . . . keep 'em coming!

[@ChristopherCourington1981]

Much as I enjoyed this, I shall keep on keeping on with the slap jokes. Hahaha

[@Batz-xk3nt]

Ngl I wrote a paper this semester about the Nicaean creed and I had a whole paragraph dedicated to the slap of St. Nick, whoops.

[@Sarutaru06]

I could never picture Tim Allen slapping anyone anyway.

[@darianschnose6177]

Thank you for the reminder, I'd almost forgotten about the Heretic Slap

[@MarkRidlen]

That moment on Miracle on 34th street, where Santa hits the guy. I go "yep, now I am convinced!"

[@AE-wv8jd]

thank god, the channel is still alive

[@jakobi4971]

Man, this song slaps almost as hard as that time St Nicholas slapped Arius (Edit for spelling)

[@drthmik]

I've never heard of these jokes But Slapstick is funny

[@davidhensley76]

I miss the centuries when bishops knew, embraced, and defended orthodoxy.

[@strygian192]

Here’s to 1,697 more years of celebrating heretics being slapped

[@14styrofoampackingpeanuts88]

MOM DAD WAKE UP LUTHERANSATIRE IS BACK MOM

[@__.Sara.__]

This song slaps!

[@michellesellers5458]

I need more convincing. Maybe another verse or two will convict me.

[@mattmueller604]

Ya. It just hasn't quite sunk in yet

[@mackenziemohnacky7465]

This has to be the BEST thing I've seen all day 🤣 But I will continue the jokes. They will live on forever!!

[@BestBuddyNoivern]

You know what? I'm going to make Santa Slapping Arius jokes even harder.

[@mrs.manrique7411]

Now I have a link to post whenever I see a meme

[@stefanwalicord2512]

Sounds like Arian propaganda to me

[@prayunceasingly2029]

Wiz ze zird Reich in mind!! Oh sorry wrong kind of Aryan.

[@nicholasshaler7442]

I got texted two memes that I’ve had on my phone for eight years this year. Thank you more than you could know.

[@Mygoalwogel]

I get it! Because your name is Nicholas. Haha. You have my sympathy.

[@EliDraconis]

Hans: Stop making memes about Nicholas slapping Arius. The internet: Never!

[@TheJoeschmoe777]

That lutefisk joke actually got a chuckle out of me

[@TheAstrojoe62]

After nearly 1700 years I think it time to just accept it. 🤣

[@katrinagarrison9606]

St. Nick... Not living this down for 1700 years.

[@bandgeekforlife406]

This vid, and the comments, have made my night XD Thanks for the laughs, y'all! And Merry Christmas

[@jrodmcscary]

The slap jokes will continue until the heresy is removed.

[@Fanny-Fanny]

Merry Christmas from your #1 atheist fan! Of all the religious channels I subscribe to, yours in genuinely the only one I don't watch ironically, but actually love your contents. Best wishes and Merry Christmas to you all! FF x

[@stoicism388]

Happy holidays to you too mate

[@Fanny-Fanny]

@@stoicism388 eh.? Nah, its merry Christmas, isn't it? Happy Holidays is what American corporations say, I believe.

[@goosieschmoo8239]

@@Fanny-Fanny happy Holy-days!

[@Fanny-Fanny]

@@goosieschmoo8239 Happy Holy-Moley!

[@goosieschmoo8239]

@@Fanny-Fanny Happy Christ-mas!

[@DarnedYankee]

St. Nicolas was pretty based for more than his handling of Arianism. P.S.: How’s your back doing pastor, in the last 10 for 10 you mentioned some kind of pinched nerve issue?

[@thesios]

I guess that means it's time for memes of Arius busting a gut...literally.

[@Gen-ZChristian]

*He’s bbbaaaaaaccckkkkk!!!*

[@CarolusInciusEtScoti]

No he is not. He is losing his edge and he is cowering when he should be preaching. Shame on you Fiene.

[@christianfaux736]

Dude there's like 12 people who even get the joke, its a funny story to tell the youth group and helps introduce the issue of the nicene creed. Sorry, this one stays.

[@cbrooks97]

Nope, sorry, Nick. It's too great a story to let it go. (Even if it probably didn't happen.)

[@Rood67]

I have no idea what this is about, and probably happy for it. *Just happy to have more new content from LutheranSatire*

[@seancampbell6292]

Remember that St. Nicholas also brought 3 children back from the dead.

[@lindajohnson4204]

Wow, I didn't know there was a joke about it. I sort of love the story, because it shows that Nicolas was zealous for Jesus, but capable of doing something in his zeal which he'd have to repent of, and take a big loss. The closest I came to a joke was when I'd reflect that they might have based the bonk on the head with a cane Kris Kringle gives the amateur psychologist in _Miracle on 34th Street_ on the real Nicolas of Myra.

[@John-Adams]

I hope everyone will enjoy the last Christmas we will have before we get thrown in the gulags or sent to fight on the wrong side of the Ukraine-Russia conflict.

[@carissstewart3211]

I can think of quite a few heretical bishops who deserve to be slapped this holiday season. For as long as i have to put up with the Synod on synodality, I will continue to laugh at the time Arius got what was coming to him.

[@smackerindignity]

I came in late... Never heard that joke... Also loved the fact you sang the song with the beard on, you could have dubbed it and we would have never know!

[@QuixoteX]

After the academy awards I sense another round is coming.

[@prayunceasingly2029]

What a slapping song!!

[@5BBassist4Christ]

That was a good jam, the beat really slaps.

[@martastahlfeld6126]

I might need to show this to my students…

[@zr3755]

I think I'll keep making the joke, Patrick

[@gianni206]

This is the first time I’m hearing of this joke *pretty funny ngl*

[@hardwurkindaddy]

That tune just slaps!

[@bosstoober8782]

Try this one on for size then, one of the things St Nicolas, the man, is actually known for is that once, during a famine, 3 young boys (with adults faces because middle ages) were being sold as meat, St Nicolas brought them back from the dead

[@JP2GiannaT]

But...but... ecumenism! The slap jokes are one of the things Catholics and Lutherans have in common!!

[@TrevorAndersen]

I’m definitely doing it more now

[@joshuakoehn3629]

When you rhymed "fresher" I was all the way ready for the line "Nicholas confessor" being tortured and refusing to recant is cooler than silencing a mocker.

[@williamgabriel6041]

I didn’t know this was a thing. Thanks for the education and invitation to a new line of jokes.

[@semperadiuvans]

Imma make this joke even harder now.

[@MatthewUttenreither]

Leave it to Lutherans to take the fun out of things. Now, let's make more memes.

[@neonexus7144]

Don't bring my man Garrison Keillor into this!

[@chucksolutions4579]

Yeah… I only JUST found out about that story last year, and since it rocks I will definitely keep repeating it. Don’t know any jokes though, just thought it was a good (tru-ish) story.

[@nickl4855]

Arius jokes are out. Its all st. Nick pickle memes from here

[@bakoind]

This one really slaps!

[@BibleUnbound]

There will never be a LutheranSatire video that I don't like.

[@SaltLight7]

I've never heard of this before. Is it a Lutheran thing?

[@dawnmichelle4403]

Me neither!

[@hannahshandknits]

I grew up Lutheran and have never heard of this before. ¯|_(ツ)_|¯

[@teacon7]

Thanks for the reminder. I'll try to use whatever time I was going to spend posting that meme... to talk about the right relationship of the persons of the Holy Trinity. That seems like a more fitting tribute anyway.

[@johnnywatson4914]

Been a slow few years for LS...

[@revlillo]

OK, we'll stop making jokes that wore out their welcome long ago, Patrick! ;}

[@GenevieveW]

So was there a big meeting of edgy Lutheran pastors who used to think the slap jokes were funny? "Guys, now we gotta tell the people to knock it off..." 🙄

[@Mygoalwogel]

You know this gripe is TOTALLY a response to the other pastors at a conference overusing this joke. Once Pastor Fiene attends, they get an inferiority complex because they know they're not as funny as he is.

[@alphonsofrett2757]

Please pardon me I didn't not know December 6 had a joke

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

Wait...Santa slapped a dude?

[@HunterXWorld95]

I forgot St. Nicholas was the original Will Smith.

[@maidservantofJesusChrist]

I have a question about Mary and Joseph's betrothal. I know--waaaay out in left field, but figured I'd ask on the most resent post. So Joseph according to Jewish Law would have 12 months to make a home for him and Mary and their khildren. What would happen if Joseph needed more than 12 months?

[@dylanandfriends443]

Donall: Ok Patrick, do another Donall and Conall video where we meet Patrick Patrick (Michael Jones [Inspiringphilophy]). Connall: Yeah Patrick, do it! (I like the guy, but I just want to see a video about it)

[@thoughtfulpilgrim1521]

What's the context of that one? Always love Donall and Conall, but What's the connection with Inspiring Philosophy (Michael Jones)?

[@heavnxbound]

Finally!

[@suferick778]

Since Arius wasn't a bishop, he was not present in person at Nicea

[@katrinagarrison9606]

I wonder if anyone in heaven is informing St. Nick of all the crazy stories we have told about him so far. 🤭

[@lasselindberg3288]

Wow. For many years I have been very impressed about your tight satire around secular people’s thoughts about christianity. But this… this was a real dissapointment. I mean, the whole message is ”I’m sick of this joke.” Not because the joke is offensive or historically wrong or stupid provoke from atheist people, but just because you are fed up on it. I know keeping the comedy fresh is hard, but I was waiting for your christmas joke this year, but found myself very disappointed. Keep the videos coming. I know you still got this.

[@thebaker1517]

This and people complaining about "Mary did you know". Time for new content people!

[@baldwinthefourth4098]

You know I'll keep doing it, right?

[@israelcowl6764]

Guess they could move on to jokes about drowning people that hold to believers baptism.

[@hagenjc]

It's not a joke, it's an example of how we should treat heretics.

[@Kamehadouken]

Garrison Keillor catching strays 😞

[@anycyclopedia]

Santa Clause / Saint Nicholas, both sound the same LOL

[@ConnorTerrell]

As a Santa Claus, I approve! lol

[@johnathangause3394]

I only liked this because

[@TickedOffPriest]

Some people can listen to reason... Some people listen to a Louisville Slugger.

[@Kadranos]

One of Hans' Catholic or Orthodox friends must have taken "slap a heretic in the face day" too far.

[@doompenguin1120]

Can you write a song about Christmas and paganism?

[@marcushaberling5507]

Hans making videos to post as responses on twitter...

[@fisharmor]

Nope. It's still funny.

[@thesphyrth]

Where's Horus then?

[@risenvictory184]

It's spelled St. Knucklus, and he punched Barbra Streisand.

[@PolishBigfootCircle11]

Gold