Stages of No Contact

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The stages of the No Contact Rule that your ex must go through in order for you to get them back is the topic of this video by Coach Lee.
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As Coach Lee explains in other videos, it is vital and necessary for your ex to go through certain stages during no contact in order for you to get them back.
To get your ex to come back to you, you must leave them alone and let them actually experience the breakup.
If you remain in contact by begging, pleading, wanting to talk about getting back together, or asking if they have had enough time apart, you push your ex away and make your chances of getting back together with them nearly zero.
That's why, as Coach Lee says in other videos and articles, that after a breakup you should apply the No Contact Rule.
The No Contact Rule is where you do not reach out or contact your ex in anyway at all.
That means that you do not call, text, email, message, or show up to where they are.
It also means that you do not like or comment on their posts on any social media.
By staying away from them and disappearing from their life, you allow your ex to truly experience the breakup. It is only by this happening that your ex can see that they don't want the breakup and see that they miss you.
When your ex experiences this, they start to experience loss.
Loss is something that you experienced immediately after being dumped because you had no control and your ex literally took themselves away from you.
However, your ex did not experience this loss.
Your ex had control of the situation and chose to give up you and the relationship.
In this way, your ex felt an artificial breakup because they figured they could get you back at any second.
Your ex felt like there was a safety net and that you were a backup plan. That means that they didn't feel much, if any, loss.
After your ex has gone through the stages of no contact, they will actually feel that loss and the tables will turn to where your ex now seeks you instead of feeling like the prize that you seek.
This is the most effective and strategically powerful way of getting your ex back.
Coach Lee's video explains the stages that your ex will likely go through and must go through during no contact in order for you to get them back.
Get Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach....
If this video was helpful to you and you want to support Lee's work, you can visit his tip jar at myexbackcoach....
SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel at kzbin.info... so that you can receive notifications when he has new content that is helpful to you including attraction, dating, and relationship dynamics!

[@rodgerheag9509]

My ex caved and came back to me after 2 months of of no contact. She was the one that broke up with me after an argument. She explained the emotions she went through just like this guy here said she would. It was by the numbers. Im glad i stuck to radio silence.

[@theillustriouschelleyeahem487]

What if I was the dumper in the midst of a heated argument? What if he was drinking all day. Ive tried to reach out but the dumpee is the one ignoring and being silent. Should I move on or keep hoping?

[@marceldelrosario]

How was the argument because me and my girl also had an argument and she was the one that said in a text when my father was in the hospital and she said I am praying for you I love you my love I love you, what or was the argument with you and your girl really bad? She ended it after I was brief after she called me on her lunch break and I had to see my father. So after that she said to my mom after her job she said to my mom leaving saying tell Marcel I love him dearly. What type of argument did you guys have how bad was it?

[@rahirirobson]

@RodgerHeag hey, how’s everything going now? Are you still with this person?

[@patrickennis4612]

This has worked 1 of 2 times, she contacted me after 27 days.... but because of distance, I found someone else, and we parted. But, it worked because I shut up! She actually asked why I hadn't contacted her!! So let's see how it works the third time.

[@sonalsagar8697]

Can the ex still reach out... If we told them we've moved on... During their curiosity stage....

[@momentofclarityx1080]

Its sad reading thru this comments. So much heart breaks. Listen guys. What you are experiencing is no different than a drug addict having a withdrawal. Something ,that was ones fed to you, is taken away. Is time you detox that something. This should be a lesson to everyone last of you that, you were trying to add something to yourself that is not part of you ( your ex). In a relationship, always make sure... You are 100% OK with been alone, whether your partner is there or not. The moment, your happiness and well being, becomes Dependant on your partner. You are finished! You are your own individual being, you are unique in your own way. You don't need them to be happy. Ones you know this you will be good. I learned the hard way. When I say the hard way... I mean the hard way.

[@alanschmidt703]

Thank you for your comment, made me feel a lot better about myself.

[@corinapavel1439]

@@TejubescDM me 2, it's been almost 2 weeks, some days are better, some are tearing me up like today. But whatever I do, I always think about him, I wonder what he's doing, I wonder if he's OK, he was my best friend, my family and now he's just gone and it breaks me. I chose to break up becauee he wasn't treating my like a gf anymore but I was expecting him to fight, I told him that even if I'm doing this I still love him and he said he loves me too but now he's ignoring me😔

[@varindergrewal5113]

@@corinapavel1439 did he came back now?

[@b.services9851]

Corina Pavel Hey honey, any updates?

[@daminichoudhury6062]

I needed to read this.. Thank you so much for this comment. sometimes we need to be reminded that we are so much more than we think we are.

[@sharamrock2580]

I watch your video multiple times because it reminds me that I am doing the right thing.

[@iaimanda8085]

Same here..

[@hjapheth]

Same here. Follow your heart.

[@juuls___2177]

Did it work?

[@bernesemuir8022]

Me too all his videos hes a god sent to me❤

[@rajk-iu8qb]

Same here.

[@jamarsam9217]

If someone walks away from you let them walk

[@EJayyDreadHead]

This method is very powerful it worked 4 times already the longest I went NC was 45 days it seems like around the 5th or 6th week they feel anxious so they'll contact you... . just a lot of patience* trust in the universe and go on dates! Then after a while you've completely forgot about them* then BOOM they will call or text you out of no where

[@pvz0484]

it's been the same amount of weeks for me and I see no reaction from my ex. I'm starting to wonder if I'm crazy enough to hold on and be so toxic about this whole thing by watching all these videos etc.

[@HellHammerSC2]

@@pvz0484 same here... I suppose that healing happens when we stop watching this kind of content

[@simplyfanny]

Your comment gave me reassurance. I’m on day 38 (I just went to count lol) but I refuse to reach out because I didn’t break us and in the past I’ve always been the one who reaches out and yes he’s the one that always comes to me but in the beginning I’m in constant contact but this time, the moment we broke up I went into NC. This time I decided to do something different so this can be the last time we break up or at least he can actually feel it from the jump.

[@Misagonna88]

I’m on Day 38, and I refuse to reach out. If he doesn’t reach out by day 45, I’m done waiting. Not for a reconciliation I may add, I had a miscarriage and he dumped by text-he should be asking how I am. I’ve kept away from his social media, deleted his number and I’ll be on the apps to test the waters to see if I’m ready. If not-I’ll just go back to no dating-and I’ll try again when I’m ready. I’m healing either way ❤️‍🩹😊

[@Camcam75]

I just hit 10 weeks nc and nothing 😢

[@Brenda.Aguilar]

He's right. I feel panicked, desperate, and anxious. It's a HORRIBLE feeling. I want to reach out to them. I need help.

[@Brenda.Aguilar]

@J J Thank you. ♡

[@manfish6183]

@@Brenda.Aguilar dont worry I was on day 6 and I gave in and messaged her asking for a call to catch up. She said "doesnt matter" so I said sounds good I'm a little busy getting ready for my class tomorrow and asked her if 9 would work" and then she said she was hanging out with someone and said she wouldnt be home but that maybe tomorrow we could call. I'm not going to make an effort to call her or message her first asking to call if she going to blow me off. I maintained composure in the texts and kept it formal but upbeat. I hope I didnt mess up the no contact to badly and drove her even further away.

[@frankgrimes1861]

It's all good darlin. Been 2 weeks with no sleep cause of this fiasco. Im with you. Hope is our best friend.

[@aswathymt6403]

@J J ✌️✌️

[@KwakuAddoDanquah]

@B. A. Same with me... The experience is terrible... But with these videos, I hope I can be strong again

[@eliswerekio]

Even if me and my ex don't get together, I have to thank you. Everytime I feel down and crying, I watch your videos and they give me motivation. They give some sort of power to see myself different and be strong through what I'm going through. Thank you so much, your videos are so much appriciated, know that !

[@mickeybella4408]

hello dear getting your lover back shouldn't be a problem, i just got my ex back

[@mickeybella4408]

Iet me introduce you to a powerfuI man that can heIp you get your ex back within 48hours, like he heIp me bring my ex partner after four years of separation.

[@hamoslomos5512]

Hi Eliswer, any update if it's ok?

[@eliswerekio]

@@hamoslomos5512 Yes, I got over him and I found myself a person that is thousand times better than my ex, cares so much more about me. So I'm 100% happy rn... Took me like 6months to get myself together, but now I'm completely fine.

[@borntobesavage697]

Me too

[@OmarLopez-ht8xt]

been on nc for 2 months and my ex has recently reached out saying that shes sorry for everything and that she misses me and shes been thinking of me so much. thanks coach

[@efrainsantana2617]

Omar Lopez you locky

[@brettkoch6618]

Omar Lopez so where is it now?

[@OmarLopez-ht8xt]

Efrain Santana i will

[@OmarLopez-ht8xt]

Efrain Santana im updating

[@OmarLopez-ht8xt]

we ended up talking again. i forgot to mention she ended up replacing me w another dude and we ended up falling off again i started no contact w her for 2 weeks. starting to be numb to the bs

[@24Cristiandiaz]

Guess who reached out after 10 days of no contact!! This stuff WORKS, it only depends on you, so be strong my friends!!!

[@joeblow7740]

I wish mine would reach out. I'm still being patient and will NEVER contact her.

[@anonymanonymesten1442]

Well, I'm on 5 months.. nothing yet. Given up hope, but still working hard to improve myself just in case

[@Dreamsareareality]

Your ex!!! ❤️❤️👌🏾😁😁

[@KwakuAddoDanquah]

Good for you... I hope same happens to me... I started my No Contact today

[@faithetheridge5388]

Ive gone 5 months

[@lettyrodrz9940]

My ex contacted me exactly on the 45th day of no contact. I heard that it's about the time for no contact to work. I am so happy.

[@cindyrizkyy1177]

God. I hope this works for me. I miss him so much. Wish me luck guys.

[@lettyrodrz9940]

@@cindyrizkyy1177 if it does not work in exactly 45 days like me, you need to continue waiting for him until he contact you. Wish you good luck!

[@cindyrizkyy1177]

@@lettyrodrz9940 so you back together with him??? I am about 20th day waiting for him for reaching me

[@lettyrodrz9940]

@@cindyrizkyy1177 yes, but u need to be patient, do no think much about him, find other things to do to distract yourself...

[@TheMinnie202]

cindy rizkyy any updates ?

[@fit_pearls2303]

I watched all of Coach Lee’s videos. When my ex broke up with me I begged & pored my whole heart to him. Then I decided to do NC. He texted me after almost 3 weeks, saying that he thinks about me, misses me & still cares about me.

[@Sag81]

Fit_Pearls I did the same begged and cried etc.. it didn’t work.. so I think I will do the same to go NC 😊

[@g5416]

i hope my ex does this!

[@mollymc]

How are you now?

[@pvz0484]

@@Sag81 did it work?

[@pvz0484]

Did y'all get back together @Fit_Pearls?

[@jambogb]

It's so nice to know I am NOT the only one going through this shitty time in my life 💖 ❤BE STRONG EVERYONE!❤

[@gracesemple2966]

Coach Lee is the only reason why I have stayed sane. Almost a month of no contact and now he seems so curious about what’s going on with me. No matter what happens, I’m so happy with how I’ve behaved. It’s been hard but it’s unfolding as it should.

[@isabeaurobinson5413]

Hey how did it go?

[@fire12731]

Proud of you

[@morebacon1780]

I'm considering making a lot of accounts, so that I can like this a dozen of times.

[@theory2314]

i thought u was gonna say so u could be "unblocked" lol jk jk

[@mazshaun8128]

When they come running back to you that is when you've Won!

[@williambr88]

@@theseattlegreen1871 lol

[@Maxxie2095]

@@theseattlegreen1871, tbh, not every girl is like that, but i would want to know if she did things like that with other guys, otherwhise i wouldnt want her back.

[@DANI_G_GERMAN1793]

@@Maxxie2095 you just want to one if she’s changed her ways? I feel that?

[@tercsi1]

@maz shaun my ex fiance is 53 , he says he never goes back to exs

[@mazshaun8128]

@@tercsi1 Yeah some don't and never will. In any case many times it's for the better. Everything is a test.

[@joeleggett425]

I was seriously contemplating breaking 2 weeks of no contact then searched for some re assurance not to and this video brought it to me! Thank you so much coach Lee!🙌💪

[@bestbigbros1102]

How’s it going so far?

[@samarhashemian1553]

How did it go? did they come back?

[@kagamitaiga9167]

updates?

[@zappamann]

Firstly, I just wanted to come back to this page and thank @coach Lee for his videos. I went through a horrendous breakup. It was a complete blindside and It was gut wrenching. I didnt know what to do or how to react/handle the situation. I immeditley turned to youtube for self help and stumbled upon these videos. The NO CONTACT rule was implemented on day two and it was hard. I used the days of no contact for self help. Read books. Viewed videos related to break ups etc. Focused on my growth. Day 12 I received an Email from her apologizing for her actions. I responded calmly and positively and told her I forgive her and hope she finds happiness. Day 14 she showed up at my door. We talked and discussed what went wrong. She told me she doesnt want to loose me. She said when she didnt hear from me, she knew there was an opportunity that she could lose me. While I dont know what the future holds for us at this point, she did come back and its due to the No Contact that was implemented. Trust the process. Good luck to everyone on here. I know its hard and gut wrenching but use the days of no contact to focus on your growth.

[@diaryofseresha]

This was so empowering your experience. I think i better stop checking my ex's social media n start focusing on my life but its a trap tbh cuz i get curious what he been upto since im on no contact wit him for 3 days

[@cindyrizkyy1177]

@@diaryofseresha 20th for nc.I am feeling really worry, fear, I don't wanna to loose him..really... Idk what to do. But I should be strong for be patience. I know he really loves me. I know him. I love you honey...I hope you can remember the good moments about us...And at that time you will call..as soon as possible

[@SauravKumar-ek1gw]

@@cindyrizkyy1177 Any updates? Did he contact you?

[@cindyrizkyy1177]

@@SauravKumar-ek1gw he never but I feel okay now and feel in piece with myself

[@ronaldclaude1892]

Danm hard, bro

[@bethelbethlehem3001]

I agree. Power struggle. My ex loss attraction to me because I over invest in our relationship.

[@squeek2347]

I got my girl back. Thank coach lee!!

[@thatomotsoane1482]

how long did you wait

[@Haitiancowboyhtx]

Update

[@nsosawetrust7895]

Lucky man

[@pvz0484]

Give us the full story

[@squeek2347]

@@pvz0484 the girl came back we were happy and lived together, eventually I moved away cause of work and we had a good long distance relationship, for 6 months till I moved back, then I cheated on her and she forgave me, but I kept neglecting and we were arguing a lot till she got tired of it, she blocked me on everything at the start of the year and got together with someone else.

[@healingyourbrokenheartnoco7305]

This video is on point. I was the dumper right after the break up I feel so relieved started going out with my friends dating other girls having the time of my life. She was begging pleading and crying for me to go back with her. Honestly I didn’t even think about my ex, this went on for four months until one day I was at a park and I saw a girl that looked exactly like my ex. The table is completely turned. From that point on I just started thinking about her I called her and didn’t get an answer so I called again didn’t get an answer. And this is when all the panic and suffering really started I started chasing her begging her via voice message because she would never pick up the phone. I dated about 10 girls during a four year period. Well it took me 4 years to get over this girl.

[@ayomideadamson61]

Woaah I think now you know not to do it to someone else❤️

[@starttakinnotez]

I bet you won't learn from it. You're not going to address your attachment issues. You're not going to learn the difference between limerence, infatuation, and love. You're not going to be committed to loving. You're upset you got rejected. Lmfao. Poor baby.

[@Travellover_mani]

😊😊😊😊😊

[@majadera2233]

my ex bf posting pics with new girls within 3weeks after dumping me. then, he started posting sad quotes and comments after that and up to this day. i am on 4mos NC. dont give up guys. i already moved on. just trying to cheer up others now. i dont want to get back with someone that left me coz they will do it again. i also find myself not being angry anymore. no more feelings left. indifference is the opposite of love and i am feeling indifferent to my ex now. coach lee's videos helped me a lot during those first 3weeks with my ex trying to hurt me with pics.

[@mitgosai5499]

Two more days n it's gonna be four months of my NC But I still have feelings for her, in fact I still feel the same for her , m not gonna break my NC at any cost But deep inside I m still feeling empty lonely n don't know, can't decide whether she'll ever be back or not? It still hurts me as it used to Can't focus on anything

[@AnqiXu1988]

mit gosai I am on the same boat although it has only been a month for me. Sometimes the most important thing is to see hope at the end of the tunnel. In my case, I know part of me will always be hung up before I find the next potential. It's hard to live without hope, and that's why we keep looking back.

[@mitgosai5499]

@@AnqiXu1988 I wish n pray that unlike me u don't have to wait n keep four months of NC n ur ex knock your door again I can totally understand how your going thru n how tough it is

[@AnqiXu1988]

mit gosai thank you very much! I still believe whatever belongs to you will eventually come back to you. If it doesn't come back, you know it wasn't yours to start with. Just imagine if your ex did come back but wouldn't give you what you wanted, isn't that worse?

[@mitgosai5499]

@@AnqiXu1988 yes it is worse but why are you making think all these horrible things? But let's visualise we get what we deserve

[@ashleysprague3861]

Even if I don’t get my ex back, I am now much more prepared for my next relationship. I know more about dating and breakups thanks to you! I know how to improve my next one and not make certain mistakes again.

[@serapf.9768]

After he broke up w me, no contact does work! Blocked him on social media, I’ve moved on then he contacted months later, that how much he misses and loves me and wants us back. I told him he has to work with his issues and I work on myself too and trust is compromised BC what if he walks out again as he did in our last break up. I moved out of state so distance is killing me and I hope he learned his lesson. Thank you Lee! You are great.

[@mahdifreeman197]

I prefer to stay single 😌 all my life and never come back to my EX. Please don't lose your dignity to someone who just dumped you.

[@hwdareu5848]

3 months and didn't hear a peep from her. I guess it's time to move on. 😊 4 good years just gone like that.

[@NastyRebirth]

How is your situation going? Has she hit you up yet?

[@donalchomal5796]

Hi bud. Did she reach out?

[@kazfleszar5899]

her loss.some people dont know what they got till it s gone.she probley miss s you but to proud to beg.move on and let her do the suffering.times a great healer.

[@nikki8789]

It can take longer..don't give up hope!

[@tercsi1]

@@nikki8789 not if you chased them for too long. Like 3 months on and off.

[@alexfern6548]

This guy is honestly a genius, has the human nature understood down too a tee❤️

[@judygiteru7689]

... when my ex broke up with me, i called begged to no avail, i then did NC after a couple of months he called. I ddnt take him back because i was already over him. The feeling wasn't mutual anymore.

[@ryanbaril3917]

As much as I still would like my ex to come back, her leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I stopped smoking weed, stopped drinking. Started a new business and honestly I'm on track to buy my dream car. If she reaches out, I might just tell her no, I don't want someone who's gonna flake off on me to "focus on myself" if shit gets hard. I want a wife not a temp person who'll run if shits hard. Please note I begged for her to come back, we said awful things to eachother. Went into NC and realized I'd rather be sad in a Ferrari than sad and a loser.

[@agbordaniels]

Bro you're a maestro in this game, I look forward to supporting you whether I get my ex back or not cos you have been an amazing 😉 love ❤️ coach n have helped me immensely. Thanks 🙏 a lot.

[@nasrinsumi4984]

many people think ex loves them but the ex is one of the toxic person who doubt your ability!!!!

[@windyc3473]

What you’re saying is actually making sense. When he dumped me, I kept questioning myself what or where is it that I was lacking. I started dating 5 or more guys at the same time only to seek validation and all of them actually ended up liking me more and wanting more. I stopped cause it didn’t make me happy. I guess with my ex, it seems like I invested so much more in him (and actually showing it) than he did me, that’s why he lost interest. He wanted to stay friends but I said no. I went on no contact and he reached out after 2 weeks. On the third week he reached out again telling me he missed me and that I was a wonderful woman. On the fourth week he reached out again wanting to see me.

[@brooklynpaul5162]

Windy C ok it worked

[@likondwa]

Did you guys get back together?

[@abeltesfaye_]

It's sad you used people just to feel better about yourself

[@lg3999]

Maybe being so available and showing so much love and care for them makes them lost their interest on us. Thats exactly i am and ended up our relationship. Now in no contact

[@tantomoriremotutti]

I was dumped on the second of May after a 4 years relationship. It was the worst pain I've ever felt. Then I started focusing on me and watched, read lots of stuff about relationships and breakups. Do you want to know when it gets better? When you realize your own worth, that you were awesome and caring and loving and that YOU DON'T WANT YOUR EX BACK. This is not coming out from hate, but from self love. Lots of this video are about "getting the ex back" and it was my goal a few weeks ago, then I went no contact and I understand so many things. I understand why I wasn't happy, that the relationship was disfunctional and that I have so many chances to have a better life without the burden of my ex. No contact is not a stupid game to make your ex feel lonely or getting them to miss you, it's about healing, it'about understanding and it's about you.

[@mersala76]

you speak from my heart .... I realized exactly this yesterday, we splitted on May 30th, 8 months long distance relationship with a big complication of covid, in no contact for 14 days. I was blaming me for the break up a lot till yesterday, feeling guilty that I should have done this and that better and that I should have behaved differently,... but then suddenly I was able to also realize that probably I wasnt that bad partner and I didnt deserve to be left in this way instead my partner should have stayed by me. Well I still do have feelings and I do still have some very little hope. If we dont get together there are at least some great memories left and knowing I need to learn from this experience and be better version of myself.

[@blkrbbn1535]

I’m glad to hear that. Did she eventually reach out to you? I hear around the time you get over them, they’ll reach out

[@tantomoriremotutti]

@@blkrbbn1535 yes she did

[@29mirstudio]

The longer I go NC the stronger and better I feel, the less I think of my ex. If she wants me to consider getting back, she needs to say the right things or I’m not getting back on this roller coaster ride.

[@BrandySTx]

Relationships are not worth it. Just date and have friends.. don’t let your guard down.. cuz as soon as you do it’s a wrap. 🙅🏽‍♀️

[@Cam-pt9ex]

It's exhausting

[@lizxu322]

Don't give up too much hope...things happen when you least expect it. If your mentality is like that then of course you won't ever be ready for a real relationship

[@LaurenInJersey]

I don't believe any of these stages even cross their mind when they left you for someone else. Their focus is the new person. New hormones racing, new brain chemicals being released, new adventures. You aren't a thought in their mind.

[@SamsAHippie]

I sadly agree :(

[@noneyabusiness9931]

Its a marathon. They will eventually

[@Ren08520]

@I'm so Reckless I agree with you. My ex left me for his co-worker and it hasn't even been a year yet and they moved in together in a different state 5 hours away. He said he didn't leave me for her, but over time, it became way too apparent. I think after time goes on and things die down as they inevitably do, they will start to see things for how they are. I think in general, as long as the relationship wasn't toxic and it was a good one as per Coach's definition of a good relationship, they know what they did and no matter how long and how much they deny, deny, deny, it will only make things more intense in the end for them. I personally couldn't jump from one long term relationship to the next like that. In my case, the girl he left me for knew we were dating and I knew her, too. I worked with them for a short time until I transferred buildings a couple months before the break up.

[@mr.sudsdoctor8323]

Lauren Rizzuto, you are talking about limerence..but we have to realize that these people will NEVER experience REAL love..Look up limerence on KZbin and you'll freak out on how much information is out there. And by staying no contact, they will miss you when they realize what they gave up to have this new rush. That's all it is, and lastly who wants someone who moves from person to person their whole life. My ex's mother warned me that I'd never get anywhere with her. None of her relationships lasted more than a year and mine was a year and a half. That's about the limit for limerence. Good luck to you.

[@sezwhom]

I agree. The stages are much harder for the dumpee. The dumper is most likely having fun/sex. I'd rather be in that stage! If it's a rebound, then months will go by before they might miss you. Not worth it.

[@katelynnmunday9942]

All my exes - exes have chased him and done all the crazy things coach lee talks about. I’ve watch it happen to him and he reacted in the exact way coach lee says the dumper will behave like. I didn’t beg and plead. I have a tiny push pack and went NC. My gut says there is a rebound. It’s hard, but going on almost 20 days of NC.

[@Crm.xcviii]

Happy for you yeah if you did nothing wrong just give them the space they need to reflect and realize what they missed that’s what happened to me with my other exes I always ended up messaging but it was to late 😅

[@simay5346]

do you have any update?

[@nobodysomebody2719]

This all sounds reasonable. But, I went no contact to save my sanity from total emotional abuse. If they decide they want you back and you let em back. The shit just starts all over again. I've been through it 1000 times with my she narc. This current no contact I initiated has been the longest. 4 weeks. Yes, it hurts to have wasted 7yrs. Of my life with her. But, I have to go threw the pain and rid her out of my life for good. She, has no redeeming qualities and I have no real reason to love her at all. But, I do. And that's my co dependent issue, I must face and fight. Your suggestions are true. But, it's just more game playing with the narcissist. And I'm just tired of playing these goddam endless emotional games. I need a woman that's normal, loving and caring. And not a woman that's a hopeless emotional 6 year old child!

[@leeventurevlog]

Nobody Somebody same here..i stop to contact him to save myself bcoz he never give me explanation when their relationship start with his fiancee now.

[@gordonhnamte8493]

Did you know the words 'through' and 'threw' have a very different meaning?

[@SINKfingers]

I had a fight with my bf over the phone last Thursday evening..and it has been 3 days with no contacts now... I in fact started to wondering if i should contact him now..because he always contacts me the next day but not this time....i.think.maybe this is the end.... But the crazy thing was the day before we were so much in love..and everything..and i was doing anything wrong..he just always thinks i had special connections with men i work with always suspect me as one of those women he have dated or his exwife... Each time he got like this it left me completely miserable and wronged... I feeling vulnerable and lost...

[@noneofyourbusiness7787]

Nobody Somebody don't worry brother, I'm currently going through the struggles of getting over a narc woman as well. They're truly repulsive people, it just sucks finding this out after you've already fallen in love with them. I just keep reminding myself that she doesn't miss me like a normal person does. That hurts but it's true.

[@bellabwz]

Nobody Somebody same situation with me..but i just done it for couple months .i guess i have to think he is dead to not fall to his trap again.

[@stephenskoch168]

Thanks Coach, this is a very powerful message, it’s given me hope during my darkest hours. Currently at 45 days of no contact and can only hope that redemption lays ahead. Totally a Prize vs Seeker seesaw. 🙏

[@unexpected7837]

Update

[@MasterJawa_]

God bless you you exist for helping us during this journey. My ex wanted to break up and asked for space 1 week ago. Today, she tried to lure me with stories that involved her putting candles on cakes I offered her before the mess. I stayed silent. Instead I went for a walk to a lake near my place and posted some stories about fancy places and food there. She saw the first story and then went to completely ignoring my next stories. I want to call her and message her to say "why are you not reaching me? why don't you make the first move? you are the one that wanted that, you have the power to end this suffer" but I know it will only get things worst. So I'm not reaching out this time, thanks to your videos I stay strong, disciplined and focus to give her the space. I have done mistakes but I fought enough. I apologized and proved my love and dedication enough. Now she has to learn the hard way. Enough begging and cares and demonstration of commitment. If she really wants me, she will get back. Otherwise, that would mean she didn't love anyway so it's a win win.

[@MicahAlbert-hl9du]

Seems like you have seen the truth of the matter. I have come to the same conclusion. Good job and hope it works out for you.

[@Hotrod_haji]

I like this guy’s videos compared to other No Contact vids on KZbin. He really goes into the psychological reasons behind it. 👌🏼

[@mpumezuma347]

YOU ARE A GENIUS Coach Lee, my ex blocked me yesterday and after listening to your video my anxiety, panic attacks and too much heartache went outta the window i slept like a baby. I don't have hopes of him coming back or unblocking me but I have so much strength and hope for a better future for myself. I am currently working on myself and I am not looking back.

[@livetocapture7309]

Every time when I see his videos I become calm and motivate myself for no contact 🥰 believe me it helps me a lot to be motivated. Thanks Coach Lee for your support in this critical situation ❤much love from India 🇮🇳❤

[@ayushbhardwaj6783]

If you are reading this Coach lee, I am really thankful to you. I send you my love from India. I got a text from my ex after 5 days only. I had begged her a lot and even lost my self respect. I replied her,That i want some more time to gain my real identity which I had lost. Thankyou Lee..

[@kevygmusic]

Thanks for reiterating and motivating me that I'm on the right track as challenging as it is. You're a rock star Coach Lee!!!

[@manayermussaed145]

Guys when a break up happens, there is nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better. You’re in pain and your anxiety is uncontrollable. But believe me.. let time pass. All of a sudden your pain numbs and you’ll be okay ❤️ stay strong.

[@tnroots]

I was actually the one who broke it off because after 5 years I was barely even getting a text once or twice a week from him. I have always been weak and gave in every time knowing I deserve better. He doesn't deny that and says he can't give me what I need or deserve. I keep coming to your videos for a reminder to stay strong and not contact him. Taking it one day at a time

[@sophiastella212]

5 years and not married? You deserve more

[@Contact_Info]

I got cheated in. I'm 50, she's 43, it can happen to anyone..she went back to her ex babby daddy who is a loser. Went to his mother's house where he leaves, she went alone..that's enough for me after u caught her flirting on instagram..nice😢

[@lottiebowdenbowden238]

Did he ever reach out after?

[@cocochannel8932]

MY FAVOURITE OUT OF ALL OF YOUR VIDEOS!!! And I love you say “we” you are our coach, captain and quarterback!!!

[@Wildanimal864.]

So it doesn’t bother y’all that your ex inevitably slept with other people over no contact? Sometimes many? Genuine question, that’s my only hang up tbh…. Cause it definitely happened. People don’t just stop having sex because they broke up😭😭💀

[@Rambo4President]

it only doesn’t matter when you have slept with more! Then you can always tell yourself: „Before I get jealous, I should think about what I have done. We’re in the same position now.“

[@user-qu7gc5ij1v]

So true! My partner used these same words when broke up with me. That I had more attraction and more feelings for him than he had for me. Now I am doing NC and radio silence.

[@antoniok323]

My last relationship was good & bad. Just the exception of she wanted to be friends after the breakup & she continued to ask me let’s be friends. I told her no I’m good , I cut off all contact & completely went under the radar completely off the map even on social media. Now it’s been a year the question is how do you know they actually have the fear because I took away the safety net. Last week she called my grandmother & hung up & she call me last month & hung up. I think it’s a bait game on her part I gave no reaction.

[@assilem717]

Good for you Antonio! Don't play games 👍

[@momentofclarityx1080]

Childish game. Don't allow her back in bro.

[@adrianberelli9877]

"Who do you think you are?! " seems to bring em to heel pretty well. It's what you're thinking, so Say It!

[@bernardfrederick9462]

Your voice is so calming to listen to. What a great talker. I could listen for days!

[@skipbogard]

This is such an insightful video...thank you, Coach Lee. It was because of this video I purchased your "Emergency Breakup Kit." Your "Emergency Breakup Kit" was worth every dollar of $48. I especially liked two of the six bonus videos. While I don't need these two bonus videos right now ("How to Break No Contact When There is Nothing to Loose" and "Clean Slate Message", it makes me feel a lot better to know I have a Plan B. Thank you, sir! Skip Bogard, MBA, BSN, RN

[@intesarsalim8031]

Excellent analysis of the human behaviour. ..and psychology. .. Your videos are always like strength boosters.

[@XolilredProductions]

These videos really have helped me everything mentioned is true. during my break up i was so desperate and felt so much pain but it’s been a month now of no contact and i have gone radio silenced it’s hard some days sometimes i find myself missing him way too much but i have to move forward like coach lee said if he never comes back at least I’ve become a strong person at the end

[@xiongbenjamin]

Thank you so much with this video. I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot because my wife of 11 years with two kids just cheated and left me. And this breakup makes me feel like I’m not good enough. I think this video saved me. Because it leaves me feeling that I am enough.

[@blindenergy6694]

U need to learn about semen retention, aka monk mode or bramachria. Every two weeks your semen full of nutrients & vitamins are reabsorbed into blood stream. This heals deppression

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Nobody is worth your life. You are loved!!

[@TrentAlexanderArnold66LFC]

How are you now mate? Hope you are doing well you deserve so much better!

[@Nawfeastoffthetone]

Wow i had to watch this video 3 times i felt every word and your right on 99.9 % thnks for this vid it truly touched me

[@joshichauhan040]

NC extremely hard, brutal, Lost sleep, lost appetite but is worth it!

[@RealCoachLee]

It is!

[@Lina_5_]

It's nice that I see guys in the comments. That says a lot. Guys do care for a woman. 👏👏👏

[@nosoupforyou278]

Some exs just don't get the feeling of missing you again and keep it moving. Most do not but some do.

[@Crm.xcviii]

Ehhh I disagree most of the time they do but they won’t say it to you but they do unless you totally fucked them over and you treat them wrong but if you know you did good and you tried your best giving them the space will help them reflect and realize even for the most stubborn or sassy person they are TRUST ME!!!

[@seanj11421]

These truths hurt down to the core.. I don’t want them to hurt, I want them to move on and find better. I pray for them, forgave them for their’s and my mistakes. It just wasn’t going to work. When one person is doing all the work, the relationship will never work.

[@phill7487]

I realize that I unintentionally did NC a long time ago. Me and my ex had broken up for her dumb reasons, and as heartbroken as i was, i moved on and just worked on myself. 3 months later she called me out of the blue, i was already in a relationship and she didn’t know because why does she need to? She apologized for the breakup and all that and wanted to be friends and me being nice, i agreed. She then tried to convince me to leave my current relationship and so i stopped answering her texts or calls. Boom

[@spencerholmes5600]

1 month into no contact and the pain is a fresh as the day it happened , stay strong everyone things will look up wether they come back or they don’t , there’s always light at the end of the tunnel for us

[@monteciajones6034]

Thank you Coach Lee, I needed this!! I have been searching all over for something to give me some type of relief.

[@bigfamilyaffair]

My best friend was with a guy that was married. He would tell her there was no sex in the marriage and he felt entitled to cheat. His wife found out about the affair but instead of confronting him, she made him miserable by giving him the silent treatment, withdrawing and dropping little hints that she knows about the affair. The guy gets paranoid so he lets go of my best friend and tells her he wants to work on his marriage. The wife's no contact worked but backfired on my best friend. Go figure.

[@fox8340]

Lmfao! Best story ever!!!! I love it

[@elainenilsson5472]

Best friend was not entitled to him

[@sitmengchue4077]

The wife is powerful.

[@robertonegron776]

After 3 years of not speaking , after a horrible breakup when I was 22, my ex texted my little sister, because I blocked her, because I thought it would help me stand on my feet. Great video.

[@Layerlol]

The dumped feels the loss in the beginning. The dumper feels the loss in the end.

[@MOTwaccoe]

23 years married. 4 kids 1 grandson and separated 8 weeks. Feel sick to the stomach, it hurts and aches. I have been married longer than single. I dont know what I am going to do. Alot of history to just give up. Scared and feeling lonely

[@dr.anjannamalviya3017]

It’s so important to re visit your videos, coach lee . There is always so much to learn n realise the mistakes made .

[@janicemiele2278]

This is a great video I can see the stage is actually happening before my eyes and while I’m watching this video he actually sent me a picture of himself like I give a shit I have the power now

[@TteamEdwarD16]

Gooood!! Stay strong

[@janicemiele2278]

Well after getting back together we are now broken up again and I haven’t heard from him in two months he’s a cheater we are done

[@tryinbecool5721]

When my ex of 3 years dumped me he was going through depression and huge personal loss so I’ll be honest I did try and reason, I checked in briefly at the one month mark as he has no family but regretted it for my own progress and now I am leaving it for at least 60 days. I’m not going to get what I want from him anyway until he has figured out what he wants. Maybe I’ll be over it by then. Up and down but finally feeling positive. If it’s meant to be it will be.

[@ethanorr1135]

I’ve watched this probly 50 times in the week I’ve been on no contact I’m a week in wish me luck I want nothing more rn than to text her and tell her I love her and that everything is going to be ok but ill stick it out as long as possible

[@hwdareu5848]

I've been 3 months no contact. Stay strong.

[@ethanorr1135]

I’m a month in so far nothing from her yet

[@alexandrachirila1917]

update?

[@VENADO_MAZISO]

@@ethanorr1135 did everything turn out fine?

[@pvz0484]

update?

[@stormvet3806]

Yes it always works if you spend the time on YOURSELF! Work on becoming your best self. If you focus on yourself: your health, fitness and self-esteem, if and when they do return you won’t even care. The crumbs they offer you won’t be nearly good enough.

[@jermainerobinson7098]

Love this guy he makes so much sense thanks.

[@2legit2Kwit]

You, sir, are an stable genius.

[@cathalsheehan9596]

I met my ex after about a month where I didn’t contact her for 25 of those days and she is clearly at stage two where she is elated and happy with how she does things now (she basically enjoying having time to herself now, away from me and away from friends). Hoping this stage doesn’t last long.

[@aliacoo]

I've watched this several times already, catching something new each time. I like this...it's given me some hope again. Thank you!

[@alinastanescu8852]

They cannot sense the feeling of my dissappearance because he is constantly talking to my mom and she gives him a daily report on how i feel.

[@jerescot]

Oh dear, pretty sure I screwed my chances, I broke no contact after 2 weeks, to explain that I didn't agree with the break up, and threw in my confusion about the break up, before I saw your videos ..she took 2 weeks to reply, and said despite the fact that she misses me and thinks about me alot, she still felt like her decision was to break up with me was right. I stupidly replied to that message with another long one explaining my feelings, but that I still respected her choice...I've been 30 days NC since, but I'm pretty sure she's not coming back! We had a good relationship for 11 months, it was bliss and beautiful, no arguments, just love, laughter and intimacy 😔

[@rosephillips6547]

You are a great man and I will most definitely will support your tip jar

[@michelevanlimburgh-lu9wc]

I apologize regarding the free comment. I don't know why I expressed such a query. You have helped me immensely during this difficult time.

[@BabaNixs]

😑😑😑😑😑😑 so many comments and personal opinions I have on this video but if anyone reads this just know this, if someone has LEFT YOU QUEEN/KING and IDC what the circumstance is why they left know that nothing just happens and there time in your story is over and to not be hateful but understand that they played there part it's time for growth don't block it by being hung up on someone that LEFT YOU YOUR DESTINY IS NOT TIED TO THOSE WHO LEFT YOU. Get into your faith when you break up don't get stalking charges or feed your hurt with being obessed, LET GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. YOU A BAD MF YOU HEAR ME? YOU GOOD LET IT GO GET TO YOUR BETTER

[@jobapache]

Nikki Ann thanks! This really helped me.. i had to laugh haha

[@BabaNixs]

Absolutley I am glad because you are the prize PERIOD!

[@jobapache]

Nikki Ann 😃 thanks a lot. I really try to look at my breakup as: here loss!

[@BabaNixs]

@@jobapache it is tho and so was mines because I'm dope asf and I'm sure you are too😍 enjoy you and when your ready let someone else GOOOD enjoy YOU too😘

[@jobapache]

Nikki Ann I actually think I am haha. Thanks for the motivation! Greetings from Holland! ☺️☺️

[@ramiro5555]

Wow this man is a genius, great content

[@carlabalao6233]

This is the time again I feel good about my self after hearing all of your advices.. Thank you..

[@rizalievillanueva4948]

Im still in the process of no contact.. While im waiting for the right time i usually play your video multiple times and it makes me relieved.. Im not hoping he will come back to me but your video makes me feel better now.. Thank you coach lee your videos inspire me much..

[@soldierofgod349]

Love coach lee,you give me so much strength on my bad days ( everyday ) 😂 getting to see my daughter today so I’m so happy and no begging is coming from me today,I’ll say hi to my ex then it’s all about my little girl,my ex’s last message about us was that we are good people we just drifted apart......I said ok I’m not getting into it it’s irrelevant now

[@soldierofgod349]

Harry James no there isn’t it’s a scam come on now stop trying to gain of people’s pain

[@joshcurtis295]

And this is what the rebound is for. They use them as a shield so they dont have to feel the hurt and loss. It will take a couple of months before the gravity of the situation hits them. Once the breakup HIGH wears off

[@NW-kc7dn]

This has been so helpful- thank you.

[@staceyrourke2557]

What i find more encouraging is that you say when you beg and plead after a break up it reduces your chances of this working but then you say alot of people do this cause they don't know of the no contact, and it still works alot of the time. I done this I really struggled now I've done 1 months no contact.

[@keenanppl]

This gives so much clarity. Thank you

[@zeroonezero7852]

It’s day 33 for me my ex is now reposting relationship quotes lol the breaking in is happening.

[@rizkiardiansyah6578]

wahaha similar case to me right now, any updates??

[@jazmir8138]

update

[@nananono2286]

I really appreciate your videos 😉👍 you gave me strength to carry on the NC and making him doubt about himself

[@thelegionary07]

J J that's not necessarily true. Most of us can "get with" other people if we want. I think it comes down to the quality of people. For example, I've dated a bunch of women since my ex broke up with me in January, and have had many a fun night, but that doesn't stop me from wishing I'd hear back from my ex because she was a special person to me. The hope is that our exes will date other people and see that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

[@thelegionary07]

@J J I agree with you that NC is the best method. It's the only chance you have to re-attract someone you cared about. I unfortunately made big mistakes post breakup, but since learning how to soathe my anxiety (by watching a few coaches) I've been in 6+ months of NC. I have heard back from girls that I've dated in the past when I've disappeared, so it's possible, but I'm living my life man. She has no power over me anymore. Still doesn't mean that I wouldn't welcome an indirect/direct text from her some day..

[@thelegionary07]

@J J I share that same empathy. It is the worst feeling that I've ever experienced in my life. I had a coaching from Coach Craig (who is a great coach) but he prognosticated she'd be back in 3-4 months. I never felt she'd be back that soon. It's been 6 now and I don't expect to hear from her for much longer if ever. She's an avoidant. They take muchhhhhh longer to come back around.

[@princhipessa1969]

thelegionary07 2 years for me! 1st year I made the mistake of letting her friend me (we were LDR during that year), this year, in the same city and even with her rebound she kept calling or coming around. I have been in NC since March and she did all the reaching out. I put the kabosh on her BS mixed signals in June. She went on a jealous rampage and told me she wanted closure. Fine. She found me twice at the beach. I went complete Radio Silent & HID for 37 days ... she called last week ... we aren’t together but there is always hope!!! Go ahead and see if the grass is greener out there, she can’t shake me. Don’t believe Coach Craig; all her indirect/direct BS lead me nowhere. Get strict! Tell her how it’s going to be! Radio Silent! Keep the faith. That is my girl & she’ll be back .

[@sshuteandrew]

thelegionary07 Yes, I think for an avoidant reality is 1-5 years.

[@johnson87318]

I watch Coach Lee every day to remind me of focusing on myself

[@drm86dj]

The good thing is that I gave in and now I can go on with my life.

[@kimwingfield4403]

I just came across your video. It was right on time. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We were dating for 6 months. He had to change his shift from working 12hrs with 3days off to working 5days night shift. I give him his space bcs I understand he's tired. We never really had any arguments. We would always communicate. We had blow up over me just describing how he wasn't consistent like he use to be and throwing my ex-husband in my face. So I didn't call the whole weekend prior to him breaking up with me. I just wanted to give him some time. And when he did call me. I felt like he was attacking me and he wanted to break up with me. After he broken up me I sent him email taking responsibility of how I handle myself. I also thank him for last 6 months it was great and him all the best. We had so much fun together. I also let him know I never throw up any of past relationships in his face and he was my confidant. I accepted him for who was and he didn't do the same for me. He responded back again referencing my ex. So later in the week I reached out by text to see if we can talk. He said That's cool but when I reached out he didn't respond back. So the next day I changed my number. Yes, I do miss him bcs we had a lot fun together. I went in communicating what I needed in the relationship. Consistency and Communication plays a big part for me.

[@Seventhcause]

Works if it was 2 years or longer of a relationship. Anything less, no contact doesn’t work except to build yourself up if you’re a man. If you’re a woman, this can and should work.

[@Seventhcause]

UPDATE: like I said, I used no contact. She never came back and they never do! However, they ALWAYS come back, just when you don’t want them anymore. Out of all the women I was serious with, or girls I wanted to be serious with have all 100% came back... 4,5,6 years later. Yea that’s a long time... but they still came back and it felt so fucking good to say, “oh hey, but no thanks” to every single one of them. They end up begging to see you or to have sex. Use that to your advantage if you’d like but I just ignore them til they go away... like they did me. So no it doesn’t work. Time and being away completely brings them back. Basically you can’t see or talk to them for years.. and if you’d like to know what my 100% is, there are 8 girls I’ve been serious with. 8 girls have came back. Even when they’re married or have bfs! I’ve Had flings with A LOT more women and even those ones come back with a “hey” after some time.

[@pauldhedouville653]

On Day 9 of NC and guess what she texted me saying she had found my passport. I’m invited to go over to pick it up. Curiosity stage has begun.

[@trollponch]

...this is so complicated and weird when I've been in both sides of the break up with the same person... so... damn... weird...

[@an6357]

Thank you for helping me understanding the whole process of no contact, for last year and a half I was depressed, I've heard about the no contact, which I've kept up to now, and he reached out couple of days ago 😊 but I thought about it as out of sight out of mind and thanks to you not I know it doesn't work this way

[@nickgreen2007]

I'm my situation , she was reaching out and I responded. It's been 3 weeks now and today went I saw her to get some stuff. She told me she was happier without me.

[@cesarmunoz3557]

Dont listen to her when she says she doing good for her self. She's just trying to mess with your head like always.

[@Finally4Christ]

Im in a long distance situation. We broke up after months of hot and cold and me begging him at Christmas time. I sent him a nice final message on new years day.. The next opportunity I have is to try to run into him at a local festival next Sept. I told him I would hope to run into him there. We never had one single bad time together, its just the distance and the timing of how long it would be for us to be together.. Lord help me move on in the mean time.