Getting Pushed Off After Sex - Whitney Cummings

Whitney Cummings defines love for her audience and chats about sex etiquette. (Contains strong language.)
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[@standup]

Watch more from Whitney Cummings: kzbin.info/aero/PLZAW5O34QidbuflXn7siSGS6sm2Gn8KK8

[@MrBlitz-kr2wo]

I love her name😅😅

[@johnburt7935]

I was in high school when I first heard that women were more often subjected to involuntary psychiatric commitment, psychiatric medication, &c. A female teacher and a small class group of (IIRC) all girls were thrashing out why that might be: women were being diagnosed by male psychiatrists, women were being referred by their husbands or male judges, women were being judged by male social standards, &c. I was the one who said, "Men drive women mad?"

[@renfam8183]

Whitney has mastered this sub genre of how women feel in relationships and making fun of the men

[@johnburt7935]

@@renfam8183 It helps that she makes fun of men's failings fairly, without being needlessly cruel.

[@sharvandwivedi3434]

@@MrBlitz-kr2wo🇦🇩

[@lukesta12]

I love how Whitney calls out the audience for cheering about her canceled show

[@Kay0Bot]

What was the show called

[@patricktan7120]

Congratulations, you understood a joke

[@brucewayne4336]

Bruv THAT was pre-written joke

[@Kassiddy]

@@Kay0Bot dunno if she's talking about it, but she's one of the lead producers of 2 Broke Girls, my second all time favorite sitcom. I didn't even know Whitney was on the show until quite recently, and I liked both the show and her as a comedian anyway. Guess she hit my sense of humour.

[@mikewhitfield2994]

@@Kay0Bot It was called "Whitney", and at least the first season it was awesome. Best role for Chris D'Elia ever, and Whitney was a natural. They kinda trashed Maulik Pancholy's character though, major mistake. And yeah, nobody watched it. It's good though. "You know, when I look into your eyes I can actually see the crazy." "Oh, you never look at the crazy!"

[@The0ceanwave]

"If you love me you will let me dismount with a little dignity." 🤣

[@CavemanJesus4Life]

She should've done the Gagging bit after this, "Do you even Like me? Should I leave?

[@executiveorder7146]

Yea the goo no one wants so when men give it its all hers now

[@executiveorder7146]

Women always wine about everything first its get me a towel then its either put down the toilet seat then its dont pee on the seat so make up your mind and if I'm nice enough to raise the seat so your not sitting in pee then the least you can do is put the seat back down im not doing both bc its not all about youuuuuu

[@SovereignStatesman]

If she wants dignity she should get off the STAGE.

[@manictiger]

@@executiveorder7146 I hate having the seat up. Piss splashes all over the place. I just aim and if it gets on the seat, I just wipe it off with a few squares of tp. All that crap that builds up under the rim? That's what would have been on the floor, walls and cabinet if the seat was up.

[@jesuschrist9977]

Can't remember where I heard it but "love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not too." I've went with that sense I heard it.

[@sleepypuddle6474]

Criminal Minds mayhaps?

[@justalonesoul5825]

Traced the quote back to E. Lockhart. (Real Live Boyfriends: Yes. Boyfriends, Plural. If My Life Weren't Complicated, I Wouldn't Be Ruby Oliver ; 2010).

[@erikperhs_]

Marina Abramovich once had a performance where she'd give the public the right to do anything they wanted to her body to talk about this exact concept

[@DanielBrown-sn9op]

If you dont love Him, why use his name?

[@Sabrina-sc1db]

Shadow Hunters

[@gary1961]

'This isn't a prison ..... I'm going to say Yes.' I liked that one.

[@sevanderson5970]

"this isn't prison, i'm gonna say yes," LMAO

[@ohioknifelover]

Sev Anderson Until it’s time to do it and she’s too lazy to do it

[@TheWitchOvAgnesi]

She should talk with my wife. It never goes down that way.

[@mr.carguy3161]

I was just thinking, that's not necessarily true... Plenty of women find a "reason" to not do it. And Just because says yes, doesn't mean she really wants to. And it's not always to please you, it's because she feels she's "supposed to".

[@naylasworld2351]

@@TheWitchOvAgnesi maybe because you actually have to be sexually attractive to her 😉💁💁

[@TheWitchOvAgnesi]

@@naylasworld2351 Very true. And that goes both ways [cough cough].

[@kholofelomaloma]

She asks "I read a book called 'The Female Brain', anyone ever read it?" I googled it and it turns out that it's a movie that she directed.... Smart....

[@TheSmileyGuy123]

Kholofelo Maloma a movie that literally made $20,000 dollars at the box office 😬😂

[@ditkind1340]

Kholofelo Maloma Woah that’s indeed smart!

[@Heyheyhaleyd]

Actually I looked it up too and there is a book called "The Female Brain", which was published in 2006. No, she didn't write it, but she does have a movie, with that same name.

[@kholofelomaloma]

@@ditkind1340 you know I watched the movie right after this video and I have no idea why it didn't make big money. It's an amazing movie. Truly amazing. Maybe poor PR?

[@davidnourice597]

I've seen that movie maybe 2 months ago...not a good one

[@kerrylittle7368]

From about 57 seconds on it was intensely powerful and funny and I saw it as almost a confession of her reality and knowing we are all alone in this walk through reality without love. She certainly nailed her definition of love.

[@KennethStone]

I never noticed how amazing her eyes were. Almost emerald green.

[@anipapazian1932]

She sounds/looks like Meg from Hercules and I’m here for it

[@zachmarshall817]

This is the one.

[@InspireDosez]

Dude your right

[@bobbywarner7850]

Yup n kinda looks like her and is a total babe and christy mack is her porno twin YW

[@cecilia4947]

FACTS, I didn't notice it before

[@astritdiaz8517]

Holy hell, yes.

[@MightyGreenLantern17]

I know she's trying to be funny, but she's spitting some serious facts

[@jamesnelson7731]

Dono ---- The funniest stuff is facts. What's messed up is that in relationships each partner drives the other crazy. Love is surviving that phase of the relationship. If it's meant to be ... I'm about to Google what show she was on that I missed.

[@jamesnelson7731]

@Joe Morelli ---- Because sometimes better people take longer.

[@UnexpectedWonder]

Really though!

[@jamesnelson7731]

@Joe Morelli ---- Life = Not fair.

[@atlas3732]

100%

[@lauraelizabethgoodyear31]

LOVE THIS GIRL!! Don’t ever stop what you’re doing to bring laughter to the world. 💜😆

[@kevincoleman9855]

Who the hell wouldn’t let her take her damn time on the “dismount”

[@anthonybhrim2491]

Beats me 😂

[@holdencaulfield3102]

Chad, or Tyrone.

[@justalonesoul5825]

Obviously most of the men (or Chads, more specifically) that she deems "good enough" to touch her. Women seem utterly blind to the superficiality of "pretty" (i.e narcissistic) men.... The opposite (men not realizing the superficiality/narcissism of most "pretty" women) being true as well, ofc.

[@sitimaan5054]

Thirsty..lack of regular company responses

[@dexterthompson1809]

ME. when its done its done

[@Dragonfruit260]

“Dismount like a swan” LOL 😂

[@okay5624]

Cristian Proust the in and out

[@metalcake2288]

The feathers are probably the worst part

[@maryk6149]

Ok

[@Marcodiazgrey]

pfff you call that a swan dismount ill show you a swan dismount, ill get on top and will compare notes.

[@thomassoane4302]

If a chick ever did that I'd lmao and think this is the coolest chick ever lol... Funny girls are my kryptonite.

[@ashtonm1787]

Looks like a mix between Angelina Jolie and Sandra Bullock

[@hed7996]

more like sandra buttos

[@fearanarchy]

With both personalities competing to get everyone's attention at once

[@ninednine4445]

Yea it kinda works

[@smuk123]

This lady way better looking than both..

[@sugamoppie]

She looks like Eva Longoria

[@Camimalm7]

“It’s a miracle we aren’t crying all the time” wait y’all aren’t crying all the time?

[@robertbigelow1338]

Exactly, crying or bitching

[@DannySullivanMusic]

indeed. totally right dude

[@tomfrankiewicz7951]

"You didn't watch my show" LOL

[@jonathanrayne]

She has the perfect comic book 'Wonder Woman' face.

[@grondhero]

I agree. Not necessarily sure on her body; _however_ her body looks healthier here than when she had her own show (which I actually enjoyed watching).

[@warrenmorgan304]

Lynda Carter came into the kids footlocker I worked in when I was in HS. 100% uncut bitch, I honestly don’t think I had any issues w/ any customer the entire time I worked there other than her. But I agree her face is similar to a young LC

[@grondhero]

@@warrenmorgan304 I used to follow Lynda Carter on Facebook; I loved watching her in the Wonder Woman TV show. One of her posts we were debating the topic and she was responding to me and instead of addressing the topic, she responded with something about men in general and me particularly should be castrated and how would I feel about that and then talk to her. It had nothing to do with the conversation. I thought she was just going bat-crazy because of her old age, but maybe she's always been like that. I can't even remember what the topic was, but she talked to any man who disagreed with her like that.

[@SuperYoshikong]

Is she Greek?

[@jonathanrayne]

@@warrenmorgan304 Wow, that's a shame. Sorry to hear that. I hope she was just having a bad day. I grew up in the 70's watching that show. She always seemed like such a nice lady.

[@laluna1083]

She seriously has the most beautiful green eyes. Wow.

She is too pretty to be so bitter.

[@sandeepbannore4185]

@Riel Time Yeah, yeah you are great, we get it.

[@gearhead1302]

Exactly what I thought. I wonder if its contacts or if they are really that pretty.

[@Unknown-yy3yo]

@Riel Time Damn... Someone's lifes sucks 😂

[@Unknown-yy3yo]

@Riel Time damn. You trained yourself to lie to yourself.. you know what, YES! I will do the exact same as you. Thanks 😁

[@brettletourneau1417]

Whitney I love you! I LOVED your TV show too I watched every episode and I was so mad when it got cancelled...You are smart, funny and beautiful! Maybe the tv audience will catch up to you in 5 or ten years?!

[@darnell7871]

“The Female Brain, has anyone ever read it?” That was a smart lead way into a joke if you know what she’s talking about

[@mahmudul-hasan-sreejon]

I think that breakup made her a better comedian.

[@Kay0Bot]

The bad makes for better comedian

[@LocalHobo631]

Lmao just like musical artists, gives them more material

A bitter comedian indeed

[@barflytom3273]

mahmudul Hasan she needs a few more though. not funny enough.

[@SuperCer054Real]

@@barflytom3273 wow really interesting thought. Not

[@StevenEvens7125]

This isn't prison I'm going to say yes. - Whitney Cummings

[@joshwettlin6670]

STEVEN EVENS 🛑

[@rocarlosdavis622]

My Creedence Clearwater Revival..Mrs raspberry beret..ofcourse it is not😬👽

[@robmacias149]

Yeah, that shit will change after marriage. She'll turn into NATO where you have to convince them its for their own good.

[@kissit012]

@@robmacias149 sounds like a symptom of a you problem.

[@theblindDD]

I don't get it?

[@WritingYogi]

More Whitney! She’s great!

[@Michael-bf1dt]

Hi honey how are you. Greetings from Ireland ☘️. It’s a good video. Best wishes for a lovely weekend 😊🙏 Michael

[@jr_Joker]

she is a real stand up comedian genuine laughing at her every jokes😂😂

[@dad7335]

Yeah I understand the sex joke because.. I'm drowning in all the sex haha totally can relate. I'm not sad and alone haha.

[@MaazAhmed]

I can see the pain in those haha's.

[@rockwild737]

Dad?

[@rainworldfan7757]

yeah bro ahahahahaahhahaahhah.😔

[@Fightship]

I feel you

[@Eastern-Asia]

its ok, dad

[@cadejohnson5021]

This isn’t stand up. It’s a TED talk.

[@pocnit]

That's how all her stand up is.

[@uscscjohnson]

@@pocnit Is she ever funny?

[@twogungunnar9456]

@@uscscjohnson She doesn't have to be because she looks like that.

[@SeafairyBele]

*AGREED*

[@joelosminski4525]

😂

[@ALonermusic1]

This woman is unbelievably beautiful and talented and I can relate to pretty much everything she says. I would love to go out for a drink with her and have a laugh together.

[@LauraAmanda8888]

What a powerful, intelligent, charismatic, captivating and magical being she is 😍

[@eskanderx1027]

"Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin

[@ZA56AA]

Soy boyism! So everything its men's fault again?

[@eskanderx1027]

@@ZA56AA Of course not! Women are independent and strong enough to be crazy all on their own, while we are being stupid ;]

[@eskanderx1027]

@@user-xi1fj9wl9w Why so serious? 🃏 Just having a laugh here guys...

[@ZA56AA]

@Milkshake Of Death And you just look for the phrase :" soy boy", " nu male" or " misandry" for once will you? After you watch the Gillette Ad for men.

[@user-xi1fj9wl9w]

@@eskanderx1027 me too

[@carlbernsen1290]

I like Scott Peck’s definition: being ‘in love ‘ takes no effort, it’s hormonal and it can be selfish and needy; but ‘love’ is doing and saying things with the deliberate and selfless intent of raising someone’s feelings of happiness and confidence and self respect. Love isn’t a feeling, willingness to love is a feeling. Love is doing.

[@MrTPain]

Love is doing.

[@graoldenbuer6761]

I wish I could find that definition you attributed to Peck. Over and over I keep finding a different one.

[@graoldenbuer6761]

Thanks Carl, I am fairly well read, but haven't delved into Peck. Appreciate your response & help! Peace to you.

[@justincase1919]

Great definition. Another is " Love is an outgoing concern for another person's well being. "

[@briandunfee4326]

I'm glad some people have this view. Not very common in today's self-centered society.

[@RobertRedway]

Whitney's definitions of love = perfect.

[@rytramprophet843]

she probably has the prettiest eyes ive ever seen. but she also gives all the reasons why i wont get married LMAO

[@stoke777]

What about Meg Foster and Paul Newman? They both hand Exquisite eyes

[@Birdman2003]

Don't loss faith in people, she is telling jokes, and her experiences.

[@cristianmihai4182]

@@Birdman2003 What makes you think she's telling her EXPERIENCES? It's stand-up comedy ffs not a support group lmao

[@kotaroatani9800]

Exactly, see my comment.

[@jjmcwill1881]

Exactly what I was just getting ready to say. Probably fake though. I never noticed them before.

[@artmeatj6620]

This set comes from a place of pain lol

[@FinnJohnson]

the best standup always does

[@CavemanJesus4Life]

I think at the time she dating Actor Peter Berg

[@CavemanJesus4Life]

Listen to some Richard Pryor, best comedy always comes from pain

[@nilezcole4012]

Yea , She's very hurt inside

[@LexGetit]

All good comedy comes from a place of pain.

[@rbsprods3200]

Love this woman, she's so spot on!!

[@moniquelacosta5170]

I completely enjoyed her comments. They are so true.

[@xandermichels8336]

god she has gorgeous eyes, they are very piercing

[@bhowardist]

pretty sure they are color contacts

[@marissaburdock6550]

@travelling man wtf is wrong with you

[@9_debolati_318]

*She has piercing eyes, they are gorgeous.

[@mellowsworld56]

travelling man yooooo you should not be able to use that thing

[@KingsDR]

I've never seen eyes like that. They looks awesome

[@sangkang6294]

You can tell this girl was in a dark place in relationship.

[@jomoody798]

It tends to be like that when you are born with the face of an angel. You attract assholes and psychopaths. Not sarcasm.

[@bobbys4327]

with her attitude I wonder why

[@itsskyler98]

@JoshNortonalias she’s pretty with and without it plastic surgery. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@itsskyler98]

@Lawman not in the slightest bit

[@beberivera7011]

The truth in this clip is fukking fukking real. Periodt

[@danielchilson6972]

She is the best Woman Stand-up of all time!

[@noeltapper-gray1714]

This woman, has everything, talent, intellect, looks to die for, and so funny.

[@RaptorFromWeegee]

Looks to DIE for?!? Ok, lets not go nuts here

[@chandrakantsharda3525]

Me laughing with my virginity

[@nosmirc7222]

😂😂😂

[@nosmirc7222]

😂😂😂

[@sunnieshell]

Have a little faith in yourself... If you love me, you'll let me dismount, with a little effing dignity😂

[@generalsaufenberg4931]

No problem. A little "Thank you, Sir", for all my hard work ( kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJbHlqOofdiFY7c ) would be nice to hear^^.

[@Michael-bf1dt]

Hi Sondra how are you. Greetings from Ireland ☘️. It’s a good video. You are very humorous 😊. Best wishes for a lovely weekend 🙏🌹 Michael

[@divyankabandekar9917]

Her eyes. My god. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@andreek8559]

Perfect performance perfectly executed. I love her 😘

[@frankl4750]

"You think I enjoy crying everytime Adele is on the radio?" 😂😂😂

[@shentzu]

Frank L I know this is her “female brain comment” and all but I was like “yeah, me too.” 🤔

[@alex-fs9yt]

She's funny cause tbh she's spitting facts and she's gorgeous

[@smoke1215]

and gorgeous

[@PratyangIraa]

true ..and i just love the chuckles ..so natural ..she is really being there

[@Snappldel]

No, she’s just funny

[@dalekelly7639]

She's funny because she's gorgeous?

[@ar_ali19]

She's not finny tho, as an unfunny person I will tale this bullet and say she isn't it. This ain't it cheif

[@Karenenin16]

Damn she said "ankle weights" I CHOKED-LAUGHED 🤣🤣🤣

[@Yay-hovah]

This is one of the best Ted-Talks I’ve seen.

[@danieldougan269]

Clearly she was in a relationship with someone who didn't care about her very much. That's sad.

[@adharshc4871]

Could it also be theother way?

[@khal_vaal_hazak9372]

Daniel Dougan simp

[@ShaunHensley]

Clearly we have a beta orbiter in the chat

[@smoke1215]

@@ShaunHensley XD I'm dead.

[@efbon3]

She had no time for her 🤣

[@jennifferlovecraft5926]

🥰 Beautyful! The truth of chapter X is spoken in an elegant and eloquent way... admirable! 🥰

[@-.NYX.-]

>..> i dont know if i was prepared for this.... WOW... you are amazing!!!!!

[@lorynfry12]

The vibe she gives off totally reminds me of Donna from that 70s show, and her voice is kinda similar too

[@treacherousjslither6920]

@J V Ouch lol

[@airotiv7916]

Omgoodness YEEEES!!!

[@maquinaghost389]

When I first heard her voice on a Joe Rogan podcast I thought she was Donna from that 70's show

[@brey1720]

She definitely has a similar vibe to Donna 😁

[@neonparisian1296]

It’s the eyebrows

[@moimeme8610]

Love: being willing to die for someone that you, yourself want to kill! So damn true 😂😂😂

[@savagenature1]

"Nobody kills you but me" - Victor Creed to Wolverine (Yeah, I just quoted "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and I'm not apologizing for it :P)

[@jerrylee5463]

@Moi Meme - It's been said that there is only a thin line between love and hate.

[@buffalo.blackk]

Moi Meme Maybe I’ve never been in a relationship long enough, but I’ve never wanted to kill someone I was dating.

[@ninobrown9564]

Moi Meme nah thats called being psychotic.

[@snowberry9176]

Yanderes be like:

[@mango3257]

Hahahaha! American humour, the best kind! It’s just so funny. 😂

[@ryanlexow3875]

I love the quick responses to the audience. Not easy to do. Being quick witted imo is a talent you're born with.

[@VampirexEva]

SHE SAID “whew? One dUDE?!?!” XD

[@MenofHighValue]

XxVampiregirl17xX yeah, but she failed to mention that you don’t have to sleep with him your whole life - you only need to sleep with him long enough for an annulment to not be possible for him. Marriage is dying fast. My kids are not being recommended to marry, however not to sleep around either. Responsible polygyny, here it comes.

[@JustWhattaRuLookinAt]

They once said that love isn’t a feeling, it’s an action. Attraction is what you “feel”.

[@jonathanhawk5163]

Love is not a feeling. Love is the good actions that you try to do.

[@cincyspin178]

@@jonathanhawk5163 Didn't he just say that? Oh, repetition is the best form of learning. Never mind.

[@LeratoM98]

Facts 💯. Infatuation, hormone-fueled, is the beginning of love...but ofc that high ends, then you must choose to stay committed to that person. True love.

[@iJuanGutierrez]

U w U I agree.

[@austincz1763]

Whitney is a FN genius! Love this chick

[@hiteshnaran1499]

Love her content.Always something for men to learn.

[@carsoncase223]

If Whitney looked at me in the crowd and said "you came here alone? You're not leaving alone...." I would probably short circuit

[@YouzTube99]

05:25 This bit encapsulates how smart and quick and real WC is and why she's one of my favorites. 1) She had a question about something and actually read a book to get answers. She went on to write, direct and star in a film based on that book. Not a great film, but she did it. 2) When the guy surprised her by being the only person who cheered the book, the spontaneous interaction was an interesting mixture of genuine and funny. No improv, just her being curious and confident enough to listen, realize he was sincere and express her respect for that.

[@OTRBRANDON]

She’s hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂

[@pxrays547]

"Nailed the dismount!" -The Russian Judge

[@samlatifi3254]

"Not going home alone that's for sure". It's all in the delivery.

[@FarFetchedFlorida]

Golden unexpected turn. This is real talent!

[@spyder976]

Half this video was me agreeing with her like "yeah! You tell it!" And the other half being a little scared of her domme energy

[@balakayshitshower8228]

Jejejeeje

[@ar_ali19]

Well you are a coward and I dislike everything you stand for

[@togapika]

You misspelled excited there...

[@kranberry3318]

Exactly. The perfect woman.

[@ar_ali19]

Weaklings, ALL OF YOU

[@breathnstop]

This is gold.

[@troyoneill2679]

Always hilarious

[@jarjeestariq8561]

she is a rare combination of stunning beauty, smart and not to mention brutally honest.

[@mihaicraciun8678]

@TIOTIO lol

[@enednas801]

if she was smart she would have gotten together with a man that truly loves her but she definately just want the asshole badboys by the stories she tells :p

[@santaclaus0815]

there is no way women would be honest regarding those topics, especially not on stage

[@danielmccall1358]

Everything but funny

[@paulie3095]

Sooo True she is all of these things , just not funny

[@DmanDice]

Its like if gal gadot and agelina jolie morphed together in a train wreck.

[@dysxlicwan7833]

DmanDice and where funny

[@MrDjsmooth87]

Well.... Wonderlina could do w/e she wanted with me 😋🤣😍

[@shane-o-matic]

Or in a plastic surgeon’s office🤷🏾‍♂️

[@DmanDice]

Michael Dean Clever, but I meant at her best. Like 15ish years ago. At that point i’d give the edge to Angelina. 2019, I’d agree with you.

[@lindi3hbrands274]

A hot train wreck!

[@msannthrope_2049]

Ugh. She has such a beautiful face. It's a wonderful canvas for all sorts of make up looks.

[@joshjegel6550]

One of the best straight up. She’s special

[@charlesblount1083]

She deserves better than a comedy club

[@danopo]

You didn't watch her show.

[@chuckgraham1695]

The little things, having my wife's car warmed up when it's cold, shoveling the snow off the porch, sidewalk, and street so she never has to step in it, providing her with warmth with cuddles on a cold night, rubbing her feet on a bad day, telling her how much I really do love her, and "yes" sometimes I'd like to strangle her, but she's mine, and I will take care of her forever, even after 35 years.

[@moumitadas2351]

Oh Chucky! ❤️

[@Bence316]

You will take care of her FINANCIALLY!

[@lfreece2]

Oh sweet, sweet, simple chuck

[@VV-md1hk]

Who will call out what everybody thinks?

[@SuperLivinglove]

just stop it already you make the rest mof us look like dushbags.

[@mfawls9624]

"Let me wake up, I'm gonna say yes..." Wow, she's definitely a keeper!

[@georgeblair3894]

Yeah, that's why no guy has bitten the bullet to pair bond with her.

[@youtubechangedmyname4895]

@@georgeblair3894 "pair bond?" Is that some new red pill terminology? Lol

[@georgeblair3894]

@@youtubechangedmyname4895 Really? Not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer are ya? Here's a hint, the concept of 'marriage' is unknown in the animal kingdom

[@youtubechangedmyname4895]

@@georgeblair3894 lmao the concept of 'anything' is unknown in the animal kingdom. What's your point? You sound like the type of dude who who constantly compares human standards with animals in order to justify acting like a savage. Aka red pill.

[@georgeblair3894]

@@youtubechangedmyname4895 Actually we know quite a bit about animals, mating , and how, or if, they bond for life, only to mate, etc. You were cheated in high school.

[@ElliotScottDating]

When she said " if he was on top...by some fucking miracle" it went over everyone's head ha

[@jackdoe552]

This is one of her best bits, for sure.

[@redjagstang7]

all I wanna know though is what brand of lip gloss she's wearing.. it's stunning!

[@SaavsKitchen]

Same. Lol

[@NoOne-og6he]

Maybelline

[@inhale1496]

I'm stuck with her eye color.

[@kamillkruutmann4687]

SAAAMMEEE! The whole time i listened i just stared at her eyes. They're so frickin green.

[@FreyaGem]

You can see that she’s wearing contacts...I wonder if they are colored.

[@MisterCastro5]

Check out Elizabeth Taylor's eye's, they were violet, very rare

[@salvadorslim3234]

One of the greats

[@notoriousfam2922]

Nothing more authentic to the algorithm than a paid ad of content I would never click it on 🤣 You must be really connecting to that audience your looking for.

[@zan6585]

I feel like she’s just verbally coping with a breakup and it’s really transparent

[@thornmatthew8395]

Daexic oh Jesus arm chair psychologist here.

[@ABCEDFGH]

@@thornmatthew8395 😂😂

[@nicholastautuhi5031]

Oh you feel like that, do you? What gave it away?

[@staforiii]

Most comedians do that...life bleeds into the work

[@julianreviews8102]

Not uncommon at all for a comedian

[@poot111111]

I'm glad I didn't watch her show, her standup is damn good!

[@johnnydoenuts9959]

Her show was horrible.

[@jennifermcgoldrick6323]

I knew her in college so I’ve been following her since i started seeing her on tv in the mid 2000s, and I think this is her best standup - she’s on a roll. She even has Bill Burr in her corner now.

[@dexterwhit8565]

@@jennifermcgoldrick6323 you should have watched the show. it was pretty good too, had another good standup comedian as a co star. i would suggest watching it some time

[@christinamartinez7972]

What was her show called?

[@dexterwhit8565]

@@christinamartinez7972 whitney

[@rasbmenelik2]

for everyone who comments on a comedy with language unbecoming...ya'll the real mvps...Whitney....love the content!

[@debrarymer]

love this comic.

[@jasonland455]

Who in the he’ll would push this woman off of them

[@17N.]

Any man after a couple of years of relationship.

[@Mrforever34]

Jason Land somebody who’s about to cum lol

[@PimaAZ]

@Ben Rosen it does happen to people forreal huh?I heard about it but it never happened to me I don't wish to tho

[@dand33911]

"For every beautiful women, there's one guy who's sick of bangin her" I don't remember who said it but it's a science.

[@gfunk63901]

@@dand33911 howard stern and/or charlie harper character from men 2.5

[@warriorfire8103]

"oh by the way, if you cheat on him you still get to keep half anyway"

[@scottryker4888]

Yep

[@XxInfiniteHeart]

Fucked up system

[@freddiefingers1186]

I would burn all my shit before I gave half of it to a skank.

[@marcomarr9385]

Actually my brother ex didn't get anything for cheating. He told the judge she put his life in danger by cheating with another man

[@MrOMYSTARZ]

@@marcomarr9385 god bless your brother!

[@stevecarroll9098]

Had fun thanks 🌹

[@markharby180]

Very, very funny. Will be looking out for more.

[@Satan666Official]

90% comments just talking about her appearance. She's funny as hell though

[@grimmzy5675]

She ain't funny tho, she is just making sex comments.

[@franciscruz3012]

That's what happens when you are a woman. What you do doesn't matter as much as your appearance

[@grimmzy5675]

@@franciscruz3012 Not really, when u make sex comments as an attractive women it's only normal that horny teens will comment on ur apperence.

[@aaronbrutus2654]

She's really not funny....

[@ltrain1985]

Jesus christ, Satan is the voice of reason ?

[@eagleghost847]

'if we truly understand the meaning of love we would never disappoint each other' 🖤

[@QactisX]

I agree with her, love is a commitment to put constant effort into pursuing her as if you wanted to get her number for the first time, decades later. Doing little things that show you are thinking about her and not just yourself. It's a conscious decision to be selfless and respect the other person as an equal partner in the relationship.

[@marianmoses9604]

Women don’t really want an equal partner. That’s all BS. They want a King. A man they perceive to be of higher value than themselves. They want a fellow who is confident and can lead. Don’t fall for all that simpy feminist propaganda. Take it from an old man who knows better and good luck out there.

[@QactisX]

@@marianmoses9604 no luck needed happily married

[@marianmoses9604]

@@QactisX Happy for you, man. I did it for 30 years. Thought I was happily married too…until I no longer was. The equality myth killed my marriage. Such is life. Do better than I did. Good luck to you, young man. 👍🏻

[@QactisX]

@@marianmoses9604 sorry to hear. Hope you find happiness, in marriage again or while single

[@rosequartz4102]

I have a glorious day of from my toddler today. I have to clean and work but I only want to listen to Whitney Cummings talk all day long.

[@julyol119]

Damn, her boyfriend was crazy lol

[@julyol119]

@ Oh yes, she has them crazy eyes.

[@tuaneronchi7552]

man this is the only time i saw a man being called crazy, feels like i'm in a different reality where things are fair

[@james_games9684]

if your girl says you dont need a password on your phone, you need a password on your phone

[@GORATPHUQ]

LMAO!!!!

[@ph34rocious]

@Kristie C Spoken like a true crazy. Just because there is nothing to hide doesn't give you the right to snoop through all of their shit.

[@esmee6308]

@Kristie C I personally prefer being able to have some privacy in my relationships. I don't need to be in every part of their life, confiding into them doesn't automatically mean you're confiding in me and if they occasionally want to vent or joke about shit I do, so be it. My current SO is a snooper and I'm not too bothered, but it's literally just asking context for inside jokes or memes all the time. Occasionally he'll decide someone is worth being jealous of and just creates drama in his head. I didn't set the boundaries properly so it's whatever, but I can tell you never again.

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

@@ph34rocious until you pick up the phone with them calling at 3am...when comitted people cut the exes OUT from go. This is why you get a background check, tho...

[@ShonPhillips15]

@Kristie C being in a relationship doesn't mean you should lose all privacy.

[@waterdragon4950]

The dignified dismount. ❤️ on 4 her.

[@strickie1971]

One of the funnest female Comics I’ve seen.

[@erikuu96]

That joke about how women think about marriage it's funny...'cause it's true.

[@MenofHighValue]

VigilAntiks personal experiences as a woman or as a man Vigil?

I'm going to start selling marriage on the streets

[@erikuu96]

@Lego Lover funny, 'cause ALL women make their man's life annoying AF

[@hearsomeevil9199]

Someone is very sad 😢

[@KI-mk6dn]

VigilAntiks damn now this bitch a virgin

[@choseni24]

Her pace was amazing. She was amazing. Her stage presence & control was on point. More of her

[@user-xz1mp3bp7k]

"Women are not crazy, you make us that way" ~Whitney Cummings

[@tjolofree1134]

Love Whitney C., amazing gal