Star Trek Section 31 Review - Hilariously AWFUL

[@disparutoo]

Star Trek Section 31 is Paramount's attempt at a spy show in Alex Kurtzman's universe. But as his universe is the dark days of low quality writing, stereotypes for 2 dimensional characters and a plot that entirely contradicts itself. When I heard Section 31 was a TV series that was being transformed and cut down into a movie, we all knew what it would be like. People teleporting all over the place, Marvel humour that would make a 5 year old look upon you with disdain at your childishness. We lack any moral quandaries, Star Trek like qualities but plenty of Michelle Yeoh being up taller, stronger and younger men. This is the comedic disaster you'd expect. But what did you think of what you saw? Let me know your thoughts down below and as always, thanks for watching :)

[@GB-mu9ue]

Excellent. I’m going to have a honey sandwich to celebrate.

[@bathtub_marmot]

When Disparu approves, I KNOW it's good-bad!

[@ablogin1]

Do 'Emilia Pérez' next

[@adamcampbell5977]

the poison bit comes from the princess bride! and it looked like he spent his life saying to her "as you wish"

[@MultiKeto]

did sams scars change from the rightto the left side of his face?

[@fnord4960]

Star Trek brought to you by people who hate Star Trek.

[@insensitive919]

Not enough to turn down an easy paycheck tho

[@bathtub_marmot]

Like, "Hey sports-fans, wanna see a musical?"

[@thetruth45678]

I honestly can't tell what it's trying to be, but I can tell what it is trying not to be.

[@lacolem1]

They don’t even like or respect their own version of Trek!

[@Lurker_Z]

And who unironically think DEI is a fundamental part of the Terran Empire. And think that's a good thing. While acknowledging that the Terran Empire is unrepentantly evil. I can't even.

[@rickmartin7596]

Does anyone else remember how "Stop Asian hate!" died the moment people learned who was doing the hating?

[@deletebilderberg]

Another DC funded rent a mob, just like 'Black Lives Matter'. Notice how they always seem to pop at the most 'convenient' time.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

and they suddenly started claiming asians are white-adjacent too

[@rickmartin7596]

@@marcogenovesi8570 Yep. Identity politics: an ever-shifting maze of dead ends.

[@marhawkman303]

@@rickmartin7596 Yeah. And what does the Word say? None of it matters. You want me to give you special treatment because of X, Y, or Z? how about no? The Creator won't. Why should I go against the will of the Creator?

[@rickmartin7596]

@ Are you in the wrong thread? Your comment makes no sense here.

[@domino4843]

Wait, isn't Balenciaga the fashion company tied to child abuse?

[@racheltorres668]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🤔

[@IstariAzul777]

I’ve heard even the name is based on glorifying Baal who is kinda the god of atrocities or one of the old demon powers Tho it’s also an older name for Zeus as in balbek Who even knows as people always steal from the past; always stealing glory, lying, fear mongering

[@haraldbredsdorff2699]

Yes. Their was clear connection to a pedo ring, but for some strange reason, police just stopped looking.

[@crimsonpotemkin]

they did a photoshoot clearly dogwhistling to pedophiles

[@zacharymcmillan2788]

Yep,and they got called out for some truly disturbing photo shots involving kids. 🤨👍

[@Agooo13431]

In related news, Paramount changed its corporate structure to a not-for-profit organization

[@insensitive919]

God no. Then everybody would know what they waste their money on.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

I mean they aren't making any profit and have not for a while so it fits their mission

[@jackochainsaw]

I think they did a while ago.

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

More like not for existence

[@charlesjmouse]

Here's a thought: The Milky Way is 100, 000 light years across... that's right, it's so darn big it takes light at the speed limit of the universe 100,000 years to cross it. It follows a quadrant is 50,000-ish light years across. So... a bullshit bomb powerful enough to blow up an entire quadrant would take at very least 25,000 years to do it... got that? 1) A bomb that big is utter horse shit, no matter how you slice it. 2) Anyone near the bullshit bomb when it went off could hop on a ship, warp out of there for a few hours, settle on a planet well within that 25k light years, and then run though the rise and fall of several civilisations *before&* the impossible blast wave reached them!!!

[@GH-ub7qz]

like the force awakens laser beam... hitting planets In another star system a few seconds after firing...lol...and more then 1 or 2 habitable planets in 1 system...such 3d grade bd

[@gbalfour9618]

It’s the same bullshit Kurtzman came up with in Star Trek 2009 with stars blowing up at the same time

[@barnbwt]

The fucking Gun Buster bomb wasn't that big (only blew up the galactic core), and it required humanity's entire industrial output AND military force to build & deliver to the target; it wasn't a crappy desk-puzzle toy that could be produced in any replicator (another obvious loose end I'll just assume was completely unaddressed)

[@kinagrill]

well in Star Trek there's at least Warp Travel and Subspace, so if that bomb is a Subspace-travelling explosion that would translate into normal space... somehow... then it'd wokr... but still be absolute stupidity.

[@Vile_Entity_3545]

That certainly puts things into perspective.

[@Kal_g]

Welcome to a special episode of _Disparu losing his mind..._

[@Lurker_Z]

He's not the only one. Not by a long shot.

[@zacharymcmillan2788]

Nah,he lost that years ago,when ROP and the Willow sequel came out. 😂😂😂

[@Lurker_Z]

@ Nah, even before, from _Wheel of Time._ I'm not familiar with that series, but he said Amazon butchered it and made him start his channel.

[@undercomposition]

For over an hour.

[@ShiftNova]

Pretty sure 90% of his subscribers have done the same here. Why do you think we're here.

[@catbert2412]

So despite creating the weapon & never actually changing her ways hollywood will portray her as having some redemption arc for saving her own ass. They really are out of touch with humanity aren’t they

[@chadmyles-theclevelandcyclist]

No, just out of touch with morality

[@jakobbraun5180]

@@chadmyles-theclevelandcyclist why not both?

[@DrWackySanchez]

People like her don't get redemption arcs, they get put down because there is nothing worth redeeming I didn't realize this was a redemption story until he said it at the end

[@albertocruzado2899]

​@@DrWackySanchezYou could get a redemption arc for a character like her. Its just that her level of evil would demand her dying for something greater than herself after recognizing she is a wretched creature, no excuse. And the other, more moral, characters around her should have, at best, conflicting emotions about her, of the type "she was a monster, but she kinda saved our lives without asking anything in return, what can i say about her really?"

[@MrMacavity]

It's a skin-suit project. Take a well known franchise name, and pretend it's about that. But it's not about that.

[@ieatpeopleand]

Like the Halo show.

[@baleinechien9683]

The fact that Disparu's (well articulated) ranting against Section 31 is being directly sponsored by Section 31 with ads for Section 31 is icing on the cake.

[@EnsignRedshirtRicky]

"Feminism finds a way to destroy everything." - Kurtzman (accidentally being honest)

[@theequalizer9154]

Kevin Feige concurs, as he hides in a closet.

[@dukenukem8381]

Its not even showing feminism correctly. It just fails at everything

[@IstariAzul777]

It’s the worst thing that ever happened to women and what caused the standard oil monopoly but few know or care .. too many dots to connect. Connecting dots is racist I’m told

[@steveouk90126]

"A world without men would be full of fat, happy women!" - feminist axiom That's HALF true.

[@drawingdead9025]

Feminism is just another lever of the western left and they 100% destroy everything, on purpose.

[@rufusblue8044]

I was sitting in the living room talking to my mom 60+ white woman and she was watching old star trek on pluto and a commercial for this came on and I said I heard that isn't any good and she got the I just smelled dog sh*t look on her face and said I tried to watch it and it's horrible, it's weird I couldn't get into it and she is clueless to the whole culture war so I must ask WHO IS THIS FOR

[@eddiebendigo7317]

How did she get all the way to Pluto?

[@rufusblue8044]

@eddiebendigo7317 its a pretty easy flight most the way, then she done the slingshot maneuver around Uranus lol

[@samspurgeon4222]

Flight price rates have dropped since they decided it wasn't a planet

[@marshalhammel5065]

@@eddiebendigo7317 Pluto Tv is a streaming with live channels and on demand movies.

[@Maybeabandaid9]

​@@samspurgeon4222Underrated comment.

[@BasedLiz]

"He built up an immunity to the poison." That's from "The Princess Bride," Sherlock Holmes, and every other piece of media that stole the idea from those two.

[@dameiondorsner7256]

What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.

[@JamesHulltheFabulousJ]

That's inconceivable!

[@mudcrab3420]

@@JamesHulltheFabulousJ You keep using that word...

[@EarlHildebrandt]

And _they_ all stole it from the Poison King himself, Mithridates the Great of Pontus, who died 21 centuries ago.

[@decarus834]

Hot take: the best one that did was house M.D.

[@WinstonfieldQPP]

These are the hallmarks of bad writing... 1. Plots with random events that go nowhere. AKA the "mystery box" or the "Abram's Knife". If plot events happen with seeming randomness where there is no real relationship of one event to another and things that were important are thrown away and forgotten? You're watching a terrible show with awful writing. 2. Main characters that are unlikable, evil, or otherwise despicable. Good writing follows characters people are interested in and seek to aspire to. Lousy writing competes to make characters more awful for the sake of being awful and do awful things to everyone. If you are ever reading or watching a show full of despicable people? It's terrible writing. 3. Protagonist who is perfect and learns nothing. If the protagonist goes through the story and is the same person as when they started ... namely a 'perfect' invincible, person that always curbstomps everyone like its a cakewalk? This is lousy writing. 4. The story tries to throw people into relationships just to see them bang each other? Constant shipping for its own sake ... especially of established characters who would NOT be doing such things ... is the laziest hack writing of a fanfic loser. Kurtzman Trek was/is all this. Its lousy writing and I'll never give it one second of my time.

[@Pepesilvia267]

I’m reminded of First Contact and the journey Picard goes on. By then his character has been on so many journeys he should be perfect but he’s dealing with PTSD from being borg and the lives he took. But other characters go through journeys and growth. In modern trek I’d settle for just 1 journey.

[@BobMcBobJr]

Ooooo, I really like the term "Abram's Knife" because it very accurately depicts what is wrong, a plot thread that is just randomly "cut" to give the happenings a mysterious atmosphere. I like this better than "mystery box" because you CAN in fact do a mystery box right (though we usually just call it a mystery then). If you have a thing/event that is mysterious you can reveal it later in the movie/TV series (in a world and character consistent manner) to make the audience go "Ohhhhh, that's how/what ...." and it can be satisfying. But, too often, the box is just put on the shelf and forgotten about by the writers.

[@throwdown1776]

I'd have disagree with point 2. You can make unlikable, evil main characters, you just need to stop making them have redeemable qualities or making them "quirky". Eric cartman is a great example of a character being a peice of shit, but you cant help but watching more of him. Boardwalk Empire and The Sopranos are masters of that. You just need to either stop playing and go all in on the evilness, or give them something that the writers don't know; professionalism and class

[@josephfisher426]

@@throwdown1776 That gives the writer more to do though, because the audience has to also have a well-formed character to actually empathize with.

[@hellacoorinna9995]

"Aspire to"? That part of what you said for point #2, isn't necessarily true.

[@sirrogerjalbert]

"Shields are down! I repeat, shields are down!" Galaxy Quest is decades old lmao It is pretty funny that the show is basically 'these people are psychopaths and criminals but they are diverse!'

[@Arsha136]

How far we have come. In the past Star Trek fans and Star Wars fans aren't seeing eye to eye but now both fans can understand each other pain.

[@dirpdanger8839]

Soooooo...An even more pathetically cringe version of the Suicide Squad.

[@jakesully2868]

Never thought I would be put in the position to defend Suicide Squad...but here we are 😂

[@barnbwt]

It seems like every action story lately is trying to be Suicide Squad or Guardians of the Galaxy. No idea why, since neither was good enough to warrant such admiration (artistically or commercially; and I actually like Guardians)

[@jackochainsaw]

At least the Suicide Squad had a roughly hewn story.

[@Vertigo-66]

Thank God we still have the movies and old TV shows to watch! This show is the worst!!

[@NoahGooder]

well it depends on how bad and lore destroying the new content gets because of the new shows completely destroy the old shows is it worth it?

[@Vindictator1972]

Its still there until they pull a Velma and DELETE all the old content.

[@FrightmasterGeneral]

(Re)watch Star Trek Continues (here on KZbin) too... 😊

[@vincent207]

@@NoahGooder I just treat this stuff like it never happened. Helps me to still enjoy a lot of things that had lousy recent projects.

[@vendoth]

Fanfiction. The live action show.

[@thomaswilliamson298]

Most household pets could write a better science fiction film than this.

[@richtes]

Me to the cat: “Spit up a hairball. It could be the next Trek show”

[@ThatAnnalisa]

My female cat regularly causes more chaos that is more fun to watch. 😏

[@melrobertson2743]

Pets who ate a book could crap out something better

[@lilhasselhoffer]

Hold the phone here....9:00 - burnt on the right side of his face with flaming sword. 27:42 - same character, burnt right side of the face. Reintroduction after the 50 minute marker, left side of face is scarred. Did the video get swapped, or did they manage to screw up the basic continuity of their characters. I know this is a minor thing, but it shows that they are not only incompetent at story telling, but incompetent at telling their own story consistently. I...can we let the abomination die please?

[@KitCat4332]

“The scar’s NOT on the wrong side!!” - Prince Zuko, ATLA

[@absolutechaos13]

Disparu usually flips the video to try and avoid copyright. Not sure if he missed a clip or if that is a legitimate mess up by the studio.

[@barnbwt]

@@absolutechaos13 It speaks volumes we legitimately can't say for certain

[@BelMarduksBizarreBazaar]

pretty sure the phase device is still on the box when she turns hers off during the fight

[@Blodhelm]

@@barnbwt And there's no way for us to check it, it's just impossible. Who could ever stomach watching this whole thing to find out?

[@Conflict_Boardgaming]

"goblin... it's an underused insult." I completely agree! Challenge accepted! EDIT: McCoy did call Spock a hobgoblin in a ToS episode...so such insults aren't terribly rare in Star Trek

[@SadAlone-l7k]

Why did the goblin turn on the stove?

[@praetor9822]

@@SadAlone-l7k Why?

[@brycespencer6732]

@@SadAlone-l7kthe possum just won’t tell us!

[@squirrelofdoom3830]

@@praetor9822 Because he was a Hobgoblin

[@napoleonfeanor]

They have an entire species of greedy goblins called Ferengi

[@dlewis9760]

That crying at the beginning isn't nearly as good as the crying Selena Gomez does about "Her People".

[@richtes]

Is that going to become the standard clip when you need hysterical crying to laugh at?

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

Didn’t she delete that video when she realised people didn’t care

[@bad-people6510]

Illegal aliens are not a race of people.

[@munkyman33]

But the internet doesn't forget. I hope she goes with "her people"

[@RockRedGenesis]

@@richtes If not, from now on it should be!

[@barnbwt]

If your bomb engineers were so horrified by their creation that they killed themselves, wouldn't they /not/ finish the bomb, before killing themselves?

[@ImminDragon]

If you were personally so horrified at the idea of living in the same universe as her that you would drink poison, why would you bother delivering her bomb before you die? Especially if you know *for a fact* that none of the people who created it are still around to recreate if if you destroy it.

[@babbit09]

"And now we have become death, destroyers of quadrants" "Hey shouldn't we like, disable this thing before we take ourselves out?" "Nah I'm sure the empress was just bluffing about using it, anyways drink the Kool-Aid we don't have the right to live after creating such a powerful device"

[@barnbwt]

@@babbit09 "I can no longer live with myself, knowing the evil I have caused...but I'm just too damn /proud/ to do anything to stop it!" -Sounds on brand for Hollywood, tbh

[@markgrehan3726]

This looks to be such a weird misstep. It's not a Section 31 film of professional spies doing dark deeds from the shadows. It's not funny or written well enough to be a Guardian of the Galaxy type film about a rag-tag bunch of wacky characters who save the galaxy almost accidentally. It's also not a Suicide Squad rip-off where Starfleet gathers a bunch of deniable assets to do something illegal, so it just manages to annoy everyone.

[@ShooterMcgavin119]

Its Rebel Moon, but somehow worse.

[@freman007]

@@ShooterMcgavin119 Now that's bad.

[@sirrathersplendid4825]

Something more like Farscape might work. Or better still, Firefly. Sadly you’d need people with actual talent to write the scripts - quite a big ask in 2020s Hollyweird.

[@me-li8kd]

It just seemed like another one of those quirky band of space adventurers. I feel like I've seen that too often. Star Wars. Cowboy Bebop. Farscape. Guardians of the Galaxy.

[@sirrathersplendid4825]

@@me-li8kd - In 2025 you can delete “quirky” and replace it with “diverse”, meaning almost mirroring the population of LA. Bring back quirky, by all means.

[@bordocofrivia2896]

Honestly I could shoot a spoof called "section 69" on my phone and do a better job than Kurtzmann.

[@theequalizer9154]

I'll watch it! 😂

[@MSgt5J071]

Sign me up! 😅😅😅

[@prezaurian4914]

Iocane powder, Princess Bride "They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder." - Man in Black

[@Ashkihyena]

Yeah, it looked like shit right from the get go and lo and behold, it was shit.

[@Lurker_Z]

This, for me, is one of the movies that defied expectations. I expected it to be generic slop, I did not expect for the writers to tell me that the Terran Empire, an objectively evil [f]ascist polity is a diverse, equitable and inclusive Matriarchy. My mind is blown (to mush). _Rings of Power_ and _Rebel Moon_ are expected generic slop. _TV!She-Hulk_ and _Barbie_ are exactly what you expect from their marketing. This movie is on another level.

[@williamlitsch5506]

I'm 5 min in, and I've caught 10 plot holes, bad acting, bad CGI, and a distinct impression that this is about inverting the core values of Star Trek so that we perceive infamous, greedy, and villanous overlords as the paragons of virtue.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

so just like most movies from hollywood nowadays. Glad I skipped it

[@Conflict_Boardgaming]

I would rather watch Disparu take the piss out of a movie more than I than I would enjoy watching the movie itself.

[@donatist59]

That's how I got through Ncuti Doctor season 1.

[@stuartpatterson5094]

It was bugging me that her 1st boyfriend had the scar on the right side of his face in the flashbacks but in present day it is on the left side Now you can all suffer this too

[@Uzarran]

Disparu often flips the videos in his reviews. Unfortunately, it's not a result of bad movie production.

[@StarWarsomania]

@@Uzarran But if he flips it, then it’s flipped the whole time. So yes, it should still be on the same side of his face

[@babbit09]

@@StarWarsomania He didn't flip the whole thing, he flips back and forth between flipping it back and forth, I did a skim through to check for another guy in the comments and they do keep the scar consistent in the "movie"

[@StarWarsomania]

@@babbit09 ahh, my bad. I’ve never seen him only flip certain sections before.

[@barnbwt]

What the hell is it with Hollywood trying to make EVERY damn thing into 1) Suicide Squad, 2) Guardians of the Galaxy? It's as though those are the only plot tropes they can emulate anymore. Has some AI plot-writer determined those have the best prospects for mass-produced entertainment, or something? Neither of those movies (like them or not) were popular or objectively good enough to have this kind of influence, it's totally artificial.

[@erroneous6947]

They were financially successful. That’s about it.

[@barnbwt]

@@erroneous6947 But they weren't the only ones that were successful, were they? There's gotta be more to it; I think the larger cast makes it possible to spread more wealth around. We all know that modern Hollywood is not particularly interested in producing beloved art OR financial return, or they wouldn't be blowing literal billions per year on amateur-hour crap, over and over again. I'd almost bet money that something about these 'ensemble cast' movies/shows makes it easier to (essentially) launder money. More actors, more...everything; shooting locations, assistants, caterers, costumes, minutes of footage, producers, agents, hotels, drivers, stunt doubles, more demand (ie higher billing) for managers of all kinds...and all of it can be padded or even skimmed without alerting the studio heads, so long as you can convince them this bloated idiot of a project is a surefire way to appeal to the most customers. So you hire some woke consultants (billable!) to make that claim to the corporate execs, and also hook them up with chinese-funded ESG investment groups willing to finance the project (for a price). Everyone wins; the executives get 'business development bonuses' for securing investor cash, the Chicoms backing the investors get to destroy/influence Hollywood as a strategic project in the long term, everyone involved in the production makes more money on a needlessly inflated project scope in the short term. And Hollywood even lobbies the Democrat Party to pursue policies which send American dollars back to China to sustain the ESG funding scheme.

[@me-li8kd]

Clearly someone involved with the movie was fucking James Gunn for ideas.

[@Gorbz]

Remember in older Trek that featured the mirror universe, where advancement in position came from eliminating the person above you and then assuming their station? Where might makes right, and the only way to hold a position was to fight off the competition? Apparently these writers don't.

[@syverjove]

53:55 The Princess Bride is the one that pops up first in my mind.

[@funkydiscogod]

Same one I thought of.

[@Drevlock]

"inconceivable!"

[@barnbwt]

Making this --tv show-- movie was the classic blunder

[@PAGrunt]

Came to say the same thing. Day late and a dollar short lol

[@lemurtheory9350]

they totally copying fith element with the blue singing lady and the way she was singing at first..

[@dlewis9760]

I thought that and also got a vibe of the characters in the Fine Young Cannibals: She Drives Me Crazy video from 1989.

[@josephfisher426]

Which is copying something else we've heard of, though I forget what... I don't think that's Heavy Metal too, but if it is, that's copying doodles of hormonal teenage boys...

[@ryanturner6920]

This would be disappointing if I had any expectations left.

[@wonderfool9406]

Are you sure that this crap is related to Star Trek in some way? It does not look, feel or sound like Star Trek, is hilariously dumb and childish and misses anything scientific or intelligent, not to speak of the costumes...

[@theequalizer9154]

This film is in relation with the lives of the writers of this so-called star trek. They have pretty sad and pathetic lives at that......😂😂😂

[@marychocolatefairy]

All the writers and the director worked on Discovery... so that explains why it doesn't seem like real Trek, lol.

[@NitriumOxide]

This movie made Mike from Red Letter Media break his Star Trek Collectors Plate. The humanity!

[@BelMarduksBizarreBazaar]

now the rest are more valuable. This is the only reason I still have magic the gathering cards

[@lacolem1]

I never knew I wanted to hear a mechanical Vulcan exoskeleton say the words “They’re magically delicious!” until this very moment

[@barnbwt]

I'm offended on behalf of Ireland for that accent; what the hell was that, anyway? The 'Texan' accent at the end was even worse. Director; "Okay, Johnny, we're gonna need you to sound completely fucking retarded for this shot, can you do that?"

[@Conflict_Boardgaming]

They keep destroying themselves. It's almost like they haven't learned anything!

[@theequalizer9154]

"Learned what???" - Alex Kurtzman

[@williamlitsch5506]

That's not the point. They want to destroy you and anyone who loves Star Trek or traditional values.

[@Terrince_Tate]

It's demonic. It's all part of the agenda.

[@raferuddle6695]

Awesome! There are never enough full length Disparu reviews. Movie night!

[@Ender7j]

Here’s how you can tell if a show is real Star Trek. Play TOS, any season of TNG and the new show on TVs next to each other. See which one gets turned off first…

[@isitPC]

Well to be fair Season 2 of TNG was pretty dire... 🤣

[@StarWarsomania]

@@isitPC I think you mean Season 1. Season 2 was awesome and included episodes like “Measure of a Man”, “Time Squared”, “Q Who” and “Peak Performance”.

[@zukazealanee]

Asking why Alex Kurtzman still has a job is the same as asking why Hasan Piker hasn't been banned off Twitch. You know why.

[@TheMasterpiecePD]

My favourite part of each normie movie reviewer's video is them asking why this "white" person with the German/Polish/Precious mineral last name keeps getting hired in Hollywood

[@hectoraccented5312]

You can help and employ the "slow" nephew, the trick is spending the money of "the others"

[@saschaberger3212]

@@TheMasterpiecePD oy vey stop noticing

[@gbalfour9618]

Good head?

[@ASoberBear]

Star Trek: The Dunning Kruger Generation.

[@struwah8576]

I find myself secretly wanting TV shows and movies to fail, because seeing Disparu reactions is 10 times more fun than anything Hollywood can create nowadays 😅

[@raferuddle6695]

Is that seriously supposed to be a Vulcan? Oh how the mighty have fallen. Oh, it's a meat puppet. Okay, that makes more sense.

[@theequalizer9154]

"Meat puppet"? I thought term belongs to Rachel Zegler.😂😂😂

[@IstariAzul777]

Did u see what std (discoveries acronym) did to Klingons?! Think they confused franchises with alien

[@lacolem1]

Tbf, remember what Picard did to the Romulans. I don’t know what the fascination is with giving pointy eared aliens Gaelic accents

[@barnbwt]

@@lacolem1 Elves; these people are uncreative hacks

[@NefariousKoel]

@@lacolem1 Pointy ears obviously equal leprechauns in Hackywood.

[@oteris2924]

Just remember, DS9 predicted what the San Francisco Bay Area would look like in the 2020s.

[@Raindreamful]

The point about building up immunity to poison was in The Princess Bride as well as Spy x Family, The Count of Monte Cristo, Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Christie stories, and recently The Borgias. Lots of possibilities.

[@rjshadow4321]

Doesn't Section 31 justify their actions as they do necessary evil so others can live in peace?

[@theequalizer9154]

Not in Alex Kurtzman's view.☹️

[@ImminDragon]

Yes, that is what Section 31 does. This movie isn't Section 31, it's Suicide Squad pretending to be Guardians of the Galaxy. It does no good to consider it in terms for Star Trek or Section 31.

[@MultiKeto]

i hate the "we are a space empire and have run out of resources" story lines in everything. have you destroyed your stars? every single rock and planet? how? the only one there it made somewhat sense are the blockhards in stelaris and forgot their name in andromeda.

[@FeatherRanching]

As a Texan, his Texas accent is worse than yours, Disparu. The worst accent in existence is French, the second worst is SoCal. And somehow, you can hear the SoCal howling behind that thing's awful chattering.

[@matthewlynds4462]

36:10 When things appear, it makes me think of the song "Cottoneye Joe" mainly due to " where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from Cottoneye Joe?"

[@mikemoore4033]

Star Trek-Section everyone involved in this atrocity. For non UK viewers, Sectioning is what you do to mentally unstable people who could be a danger to themselves or others.

[@theequalizer9154]

In that case, they're called homeless victims and let loose upon the streets of major cities in the United States

[@ShannonCarter55]

​@@theequalizer9154 who I see are being rounded up and sent back to their home countries for being in the US illegally.

[@ieatpeopleand]

Hey, I keep advocating for lobotomies, but sadly, nobody is with me.

[@vincanthofred8195]

1 hour long disparu video? perfect

[@Sayquidnidly]

NGL, this was the final straw for me. As a born and bred trekky. Nah. Im done.

[@dragonmaster1360]

To be fair... STD should have been that... If not that, then the abomination that was Picard should have.

[@SayHwhut]

I wouldn't be surprised if they had 8 episodes worth of script material and still couldn't make 90 minutes of coherent storytelling. Good old TV show format where bad ideas get justified by being background noise...

[@calcariachimera]

Best review line ever....."This isn't Star Trek!"

[@Nevir202]

24:00 The ENTIRE premise of the scene, is she stole the box by shifting it out of phase, and using one to do herself as well, but now she has turned her phase shift off, but is still holding the box... FFS.

[@BelMarduksBizarreBazaar]

glad im not the only one who noticed

[@XthegreatwhyX]

I don't like Michelle Yeoh enough to endure this. And I LOVE Michelle Yeoh.

[@Chris-dy9gw]

The fact that someone would poison someone like that is just inconceivable😅😅😅😅😅

[@lacolem1]

I do not think that means what you think it means

[@sarasunshinemt4444]

You keep using that word..

[@barnbwt]

See, the reason she was able to be surprised the guy wasn't actually dead and faked it, is she also moved on 10 seconds after the guy's first faked death, into the arms of some black guy who looks half her age.

[@Chris-dy9gw]

@barnbwt the fact that you don't understand this reference is inconceivable....

[@remixsolo]

They strip mined an entire quadrant?! What is this, Dead Space?

[@ZolaRenard_01]

There's something definitely wrong when a Grandma age woman running around trying to baby a fully grown man-child in his 30s 🙄

[@mudcrab3420]

Okay, do I have this straight? Yeoh Girl Bosses while sitting in her nightclub so well she not only spotted all the undercover agents, but calculated their personality flaws to 4 decimal points, but couldn't work out her ex boyfriend was still alive? Okay...

[@CmdrCello]

This vid will be better than that movie. Trek, it’s dead Jim

[@Left4Coragem]

So, woman kills her family, brands her boyfriend with a hot iron, becomes evil empress, creates weapon to destroy 25% of the universe, and by the end they are saying how right she was? Only someone of the left could right such an obvious villain with no morals, but say she was right.

[@lingricen8077]

Watching the lads at Red Letter Media discuss their favourite franchise being butchered is a sick pleasure of mine though.

[@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSea]

Disp!!! Do Emilia Perez!!! It’s nominated for 13 Oscars and it’s absolutely abysmal. It’s on streaming too so you won’t have to go anywhere

[@jamesgoss1860]

Almost as long as the "movie" itself, yes here we go

[@Lurker_Z]

I'm only 10 minutes into the video, and wow, if I was to seriously attempt to watch this movie, this is the moment I'd x the window or change the channel on TV. This is such [s]chizo virtue signal of "the Terran Empire is as evil as all our ideology in Hollywood". It does bring to attention that nobody in the reviews Disparu read in the last videos brought out this obvious fact. Emperor's New Clothes still going on even in critics.

[@ThinkingManCounter]

Princess Bride is the movie where Wesley built up an immunity to iocane powder by taking small doses over a long time.

[@thomasglebe1273]

Paramount, you need a writer? I'm available... 😸

[@MSgt5J071]

Paramount called. Sorry, they won't hire you because you're not diverse enough -- you're a dude. Try again when you have a va-jay-jay and a different gender identity.

[@MSgt5J071]

First comment deleted. Apparently KZbin didn't read the Executive Order...😂😂😂

[@hectoraccented5312]

Are you bad enough?

[@dudepool7530]

Remember Madam Gao from Netflix Marvel? Now THAT was a villain! Coulda had a scene with her, sipping tea on a balcony, in the middle of the Battle of NY and I totally would have believed it. I honestly wish that scene existed.

[@advert1489]

Benevolent dictator: Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus When a Roman consul got himself surrounded by an army, the senate approached a retired Cincinnatus on his farm and appointed him Dictator. He raised an army and forced a bloodless surrender of the enemy army in 2-weeks. Immediately surrendered his dictatorship. The second time he was made dictator, he thwarted an overthrow of the senate in 3-weeks. Immediately surrendered his dictatorship. The morale of the story? Cincinnati may suck, but its namesake was a hero.

[@kadourimdou43]

It’s not Star Trek.

[@archstanton9073]

The Count of Monte Cristo is where you've heard of that "taking small doses of poison to build up an immunity" thing.

[@SusanStreich]

Love your style of doing things, you're unique!

[@MINKIN2]

The most Star Trek thing about S31 was keeping up the tradition of pissing off the Irish!

[@irishnotsane9365]

Or making us laugh at just how bad everyone else is at being Irish

[@midlifelab]

11:32 Is Kurtzman trying to bring back the Cheronians, or is it just a lack of originality? Sorry, answered my own question there!

[@knarftahw]

Thank you.

[@James-ou4lo]

Oof, never thought I'd sympathize with the guy who wants to blow up a quarter of the universe, but I guess I did.

[@rudiruttger]

Ach, this is pain by osmosis

[@miller42]

10:55 Alex Kurtzman ripping-off the diva scene from The 5th Element. 17:21 Alex Kurtzman ripping-off the little aliens in a suit from Men in Black.

[@theequalizer9154]

Is that, "Ghost" from the tv series, "Power"? A Vulcan robot with dyed blonde hair, with an American's version of an Irish accent... Nice going writers... JUDAS PRIEST!

[@ekij133]

This film was so bad that even Disparu's review wasn't all that interesting.

[@MSgt5J071]

How scary are 62 year old martial artists? Depends on the martial artist. Don't underestimate them.

[@theequalizer9154]

YES! I CONCUR! Especially dangerous when they're on the checkout line of store, and they demand a discount because, an item was on sale the week before.😂😂😂

[@thetruth45678]

HAHAHAHAHA!!! widdle doggy bork bork! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[@burgertim7878]

Just a reminder that Herr Kurtzmann tried to get this thing filmed for almost a decade.

[@cologne2792]

Kurtzman was once at least a half decent writer. His work on Alias with Roberto Orci was pretty good 20 odd years ago.. What happened to him?

[@whos-the-stiff]

Turns out Orci was the brains. That's why Klutzman back stabbed him.

[@ieatpeopleand]

Is he working with Roberto Orci anymore? Maybe Orci was the talent.

[@NoahGooder]

i heard this show could be a replacement for sleeping pills.

[@theequalizer9154]

...or, a laxative.

[@NoahGooder]

@@theequalizer9154 true because trying to focus on it will just make you focus on your own discomfort. Like sitting in an uncomfortable chair after drinking too much coffee.

[@ArchTymeWizard]

Bae wake up! That pale Brit is covering the death of the franchise I loved.

[@ZiaAnnouncer]

SkyDance needs only to buy Star Trek Continues and release them first as their “relaunch”.

[@charlesjmouse]

6:35 It's Sleletor! So... just from the clips alone I have to ask how any (semi)sentient being could look at this and think, "I did a good thing"..?

[@barnbwt]

I really have to wonder what it's like on these sets...I'm getting vibes of something similar to meth or cocaine induced mania (but obviously not coke since that has proven to reliably make good entertainment). It feels like you have an entire organization of people geeked to the moon on drugs, that /think/ they're producing amazing art, when in reality it's a bunch of disjointed bullshit slapped together with duct tape and feces. I dunno, high-dosage Adderall & LSD microdosing, maybe?

[@marklinzeit]

You have given me so many smiles over the years. Well done mate. Now a member. 🎉

[@OcarinaSapphr-]

If they were intelligent people- history, would have been where they'd have got it- an ancient king dosed himself daily, but in war- he lost against Rome & tried to poison himself, but his dosing was effective & he survived- so he had to a have servant slay him instead. But you _know_ they pulled it from 'The Princess Bride'...

[@lurkyb0i602]

An hour? We're eating good tonight!

[@Ancientreapers]

13:57 Oh look it's the Deltan Lieutenant Ilia. How original.

[@ShannonCarter55]

Ilia was at least likeable.

[@stewrmo]

That dress should be called "bingo wings".

[@nickdirienzo2849]

Phase tech would only work in zero gravity, otherwise you and said object would just fall through the floor...

[@RobinaRay-hw8gx]

You always surprise us, thank for your presence!

[@MajorSmurf]

I really think a lot of writers need to read some actual gritty and immoral characters because to me it really feels like most writers are only able to write for teens and younger. I'm not talking about being edgy like gore, sexual themes or any of the things that most people go oh this is for adults. Like I'm not a huge star trek fan but Section 31 definitely seemed to be the kind of people who will as evil as necessary for the sake of greater good. If a good person has to die or has information and needs to be tortured to get it out of them to complete their mission and that will save lives than they'll do what is required. A Section 31 story should be here's the situation and the reality is X character has only a few limited options (all messed up) and by doing these evils things, it saves good people having to. They need to be hard as nails, straight faced (Nothing can bother them because they've already done it) and they're not looking to be moral, follow normal rules or waste their time looking for another solution to protect themselves from the horrors or their own ideals. Their only ideal is does this action complete my mission and protect the federation, if you ask them to kill a child. They don't say no, they ask what kill method. Yes you could have characters who waver, question them/themselves or trying other things while Section 31 is doing their own thing but we should see them doing messed up things. It should not be them being a quirky little group, but people who have seen hell and will wade through blood and fire when required of them. People who gave up their humanity to allow others to keep their own.

[@bad-people6510]

Can we talk about how temporally baffling this is? We have our Hunger Games rip off which should reasonably take place (in so far as it should take place at all) somewhere around 2200 to 2210. However, two of the characters from it are in a plot line that takes place apparently in 2326 (Although if gives a stardate that corresponds to 2266) It also features a character in Rachel Garret, who was born in 2290. Large portion of the plot revolve around a Mirror Universe that operates more similarly (although less Machiavellian) to the pre-2267 Mirror Universe. So if it's taking place in 2266, one character shouldn't be born, and if its taking place after 2266 two of the characters should be dead, and the Terran Empire should either be in the midst of its reform, or has been dismantled. There is no time period in which this story can occur.

[@erichtomanek4739]

I thought Deltans' effect on Humans was due to their very potent, naturally produced, pheromones. So being bald is not an issue, it's irrelevant. An example in nature is some orchid species that mimic female wasps. They don't look very similar but the smell they produce is very, very close to the real female wasp. And it drives the males crazy! . New Trek is Not Star Trek. Section 31 is just another bad instalment.

[@Joemantler]

Wait. The robot Vulcan is a robot. Which means, every time it giggles, he's PUSHING A "GIGGLE" BUTTON!