Moonfall - A Man-Made Disaster

Moonfall, yet another disaster movie directed by Roland Emmerich, may be one of the dumbest films I've seen in my entire life. So let's have a bit of a laugh, shall we?
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[@JohnSmith-cn4cw]

Honestly, the government cutting the program for budgetary reasons is the most plausible part of the movie.

[@revcrussell]

What? I have never known a government to cut a program for budget reasons. Government expands to use all available resources.

[@stoneg.barrow9991]

I think they might have been shoving the proverbial Overton Window straight through the Fourth Wall, there, in describing the government's cutting of the actual "Moonfall Movie" program. In any event, just like any other example of questionable government spending, this movie likely will be set to pay for itself once the Bank of England goes belly up. That was a joke.

[@TheChadTI]

Pretending to be in space is pretty expensive I guess. (NASA not this film).

[@wilverbal]

Didn't something like that happen in George Lucas's THX?

[@jefferydraper4019]

@@revcrussell no...they cut what the current leaders can to steal for their own programs. Thats why I totally buy this explanation.

[@MirrorMonolith]

I was at a friend’s house and he has a lot of kids. They’re high energy and low attention span. He had Moonfall playing on loop in the background and the big flashy images and noises kept them distracted allowing him a couple hours of peace. That’s the sole purpose of this movie.

[@wickedlester5320]

That whole generation are going to continue to make films like this. Sigh

[@gabbyn.3049]

@@wickedlester5320 look on the brightside, atleast it ain't wokeshit lol.

[@nenmaster5218]

I was surpised just how bad the Film was. They had a C-Theorist as an 'underdog' and there were so many Plot Holes but most of all: Technobabble? The Thing that not only Samantha Carter but Sci Fi OVERALL makes Fun of?!

[@hotcosby4249]

Thanks for the tip

[@Oseremen2]

@@wickedlester5320 Nah they will grow and they will learn. 😂

[@SuperWaterbottle12]

I watched this movie on opening weekend in a full theater and it was honestly the best theater experience I’ve had in years. By the half way point, the whole theater was roaring with laughter at just about every line of dialogue and plot point. Brilliant movie if you watch it like a comedy.

[@harveyboi3917]

Dude same. I could not take this movie seriously. it almost felt like this was a satire.

[@tisbonus]

I completely agree! Once I saw the moon scraping the Earths atmosphere, I cried to hysteria. Damn near needed an inhaler! All those satellites destroyed and NASA and the Air Force all operating like normal. Why would ANYONE attempt to take this movie seriously? It's absolutely hilarious.

[@daywalker3735]

Yea you can't go into this movie expecting a serious masterpiece

[@earthwalker7992]

@@tisbonus Sharknado on steroids!!

[@tisbonus]

@@earthwalker7992 yep. Guilty as charged brutha! Ian Ziering, lol.

[@quuu42]

To quote Mark Kermode (admittedly when talking about a different film): "This film is so stupid it makes Geostorm look like a subtle yet hard hitting documentary about climate change"

[@pysq8]

Was he talking about Sharknado? 🤣

[@the_w4nd3r3r5]

Moonfall is kinda like a different version of Armageddon… a version whose mother was also it’s sister and was raised with thin oxygen.

[@finlaymcdiarmid5832]

Fetal alcohol syndrome edition.

[@connordorman117]

This really specific but also, really accurate.

[@kuhanblock9380]

Moonfall's biggest problem is that it doesn't have enough Aerosmith

[@Gameprojordan]

MY MOTHER'S MY SISTER

[@robmelton3552]

Role TiDE lmao

[@SingularityMedia]

I love this film, it`s almost genius. At every step when I was trying to predict just how stupid they would go, it surpassed my predictions and went even dumber. It`s amazing.

[@zacharywoloszynski4258]

I would rather have this movie over a boring movie any day

[@threeboardsfour]

Agreed. I couldn't stop watching it. My personal favourite is how the moon gets to 80% of the earths gravity, which somehow lifts things off the earth (which is by default 100% gravity), but doesn't effect all things equally or even consistently. Pure magic.

[@tonylovell3589]

I found the silliness refreshing

[@williamharrison2591]

I agree. In Fact, I am disappointed that Alex Jones or a character based on him was not in it. I look at it as the moon burned down all the Leftist shit holes before AntifA could! winning! And it shows the levels of retardation in Commiefornia! But, I will admit I find the Irish myths talking about life and an age before the moon arrived interesting in itself. Plus, if God is real and he had Watchers, where else would they be besides the moon? Which is hollow by the way. We shot an impactor missile into and record it "ring."

[@K0m30ng]

It's just so bad it's absolutely entertaining to watch

[@dhaz4455]

Is amazing how Emerrich really combined all his previous movies in one, aliens, disasters, big monster and ancient civilization and fail in every single one

[@jonathanathor117]

Moonfall is essentially halo but you remove the forerunners, the flood, precursors and covenant and just focus on humanity.

[@raydafuq3570]

@@jonathanathor117 or rather that's the easiest way to wrap your mind around it probably.

[@paulocapelo4271]

might have worked back in the 90s but he hasnt changed his tune in 30 years one trick director :P

[@shammy8703]

emmerich movies were my guilty pleasure, mainly for the first 45-60 minutes, the set up... once he stopped doing that and went straight to the action it all went to shit... everything he made after and including 2012 sucked balls... this is the worst. i mean they could have at least tried with the dialogue right? they had some good actors!

[@blockbuster-em9bo]

I think "Big Dumb Disaster Movies" might be my official favorite genre. I enjoyed the hell out of 2012, Armageddon and Independence Day among others. I saw Moonfall and thought it was an ok movie but then I realized about a week later I couldn't remember ANY of it:/

[@johnwayne9828]

😂😂😂all I remember were odd cuts and horrendous acting, especially from the kids.

[@PewKittens]

Those older ones seemed to still have memorable moments. I wonder if it is because they were the first ones or were actually good is why they are remembered. Because I don’t want to close my eyes

[@PaxIesus]

There's something so pure about a movie that's bad for reasons BEYOND spreading The Message, it almost makes me want to watch it out of spite....almost.

[@davidhughmiller]

I'll admit, I liked it when I saw it on the big screen.

[@huszaratraktor]

I saw it and it's so freaking bad, it's actually quite entertaining. The only missing thing from Moonfall is a Princess Leia style CGI Leslie Nielsen as a support character.

[@philipn832]

Ah yes the good old days

[@Fridaey13txhOktober]

Tis was okay.

[@kuhanblock9380]

Dew it

[@jamesrichards2980]

The "Mark Ruffalo is an insufferable twat" line made me choke-laugh on my food. Then happened again at the term "thinking meat" to describe your brain

[@meatpuppet5036]

That tweet though, interesting that Israel is the only issue that can make him back down. hmmm.

[@davidjstreader]

@@meatpuppet5036 That's the tweet of a man who received a very serious phone-call about his future in Hollywood

[@reallyhimongod]

Nah it was funny I laughed hard too😂

[@JadeRunner]

I was playing pool and fucked up my shot laughing at that. 🤣

[@JadeRunner]

@@meatpuppet5036 I mean, his apology wasn't wrong, he just can't seem to apply the same logic to his rants on MAGA Republicans. 🤷‍♂️

[@gigabilly1160]

I loved the scene when the moon said: "I guess i was the Moonfall after all..." and monfalled all over the bad guys, very emotional, another great adaptation of Tolkien's work

[@kilmone]

Stunning and brave

[@wheeliebin18]

"It's Moonfall time!" made me tear up.

[@Fridaey13txhOktober]

This does.... Bring a smile to my face...

[@Phisherman86]

Muh guhl Gladrielelele

[@darthXreven]

when the Maverick said to the iceman "you can be my Moonfall anytime" powerful moment...

[@spittinvenom9843]

The Ruffalo cut was savage AF 😂

[@jean-lucgasly5008]

When this movie came out I was waiting to hear back from the job I really wanted. To distract myself I ended up buying a ticket to this movie. Halfway into the movie, were everyone is inside the hotel, I got a call that I got the job. I was the only person in that theater and I was so excited that I got the job that I ended up watching that entire movie. So now this movie has some type of emotional weight for me. Crazy

[@sgt.thundercok4704]

That's how people get over-invested in crap. Some emotional thing happens while this song, movie, whatever is playing. So it bonds them to it. Very normal.

[@jdunnatl]

Congrats on the job!

[@Brekfastmachine]

I took a girl to a movie for a first date and we watched Battlefield Earth. Ugh. Then we got married and now I have an emotional attachment to that steaming pile of garbage.

[@jdunnatl]

@@Brekfastmachine Yikes, lol! Did you both become Scientologists? 😄

[@sgt.thundercok4704]

@@Brekfastmachine LOL!

[@kendrickdelosreyes5381]

Moonfall is SO bad that it is WORTH watching. You just spend the whole time laughing at it and roasting it with your family. Trust me, it's one of the best rides of your life. Just watch it with a group of friends/family and don't take it too seriously.

[@fixman88]

Sounds like prime Rifftrax material.

[@Aedrion-]

Exactly, this movie is so good it's bad. Very watchable! :D

[@alanmckinnon6791]

Like Plan 9 from Outer Space then?

[@danielluna7648]

I laughed so hard the entire movie. It is by far the worst movie I've ever seen.

[@Leptospirosi]

Like Independence day! 😁

[@simonfenton56]

Quite possibly the greatest film ever made, we just aren't ready as a species to appreciate this film.

[@albynoman]

You get lost on your way to a Morbius film review mate?

[@bigdreams5554]

So this isn't a parody? Thought maybe it was satire like Starship Troopers , which was panned at the time but is fantastic.

[@BazukinBelyugovich]

I liked when the main character said "Oh yeah, it's Moonfallin' time" Greatest line ever

[@cjyoung7372]

It can't be better than sharknado

[@SpruceCampbell]

@@BazukinBelyugovich Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element....... "It's Korben time"

[@MikeRMProductions]

The part where cows jumped over the moon to say "It's milking time" brought me to tears

[@sneakertsar]

The morbin' meme has been beaten dead and buried let it go!

[@gianna526]

@@sneakertsar ?? Memes will never be dead, they've been a thing forever, just in different formats.

[@1000sofusernames]

I liked the bit where the moon AI says "it's mooning time"

[@personunidentified7672]

@@gianna526 think theyre just talking about that meme specifically

[@FreedomAndPeaceOnly]

I like it when the bad A.I assembled all the infinity-brainchips Elon Musk created and snapped the Glove after saying _" I am inedible. "_

[@rebeccabirnbaum1868]

I still, to this day, refuse to believe that this movie was meant to be serious. This is on of the greatest satires ever. Period.

[@JohnDoe-td3xx]

; )

[@KevinSmith-gu7fb]

I think the filmmakers do claim it's supposed to be a B movie, but as with The Happening, there's really nothing which it makes it obvious that the movie is tongue-in-cheek like you get from Sharknado or Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. There needs to be a certain obviousness to a B movie, and I don't think Moonfall had that obviousness, as evidenced by the fact that there's even a debate over whether it's supposed to be a B or not.

[@danield5166]

Exactly! It belongs in the sharknado category

[@KC_Smooth]

I agree... It's a fun silly movie. I enjoyed it.

[@Writeous0ne]

@@KevinSmith-gu7fb how can it be a B movie it had a budget of like 100 million+

[@billybadass3056]

Catwomen & Die Another Day so draw your own conclusion??? Oh Drinker... You've CLEARLY Forgotten about B.A.P.S.........

[@owenogletree6374]

B.A.P.S.???

[@caiusmadison2996]

Black African Princess'S

[@caiusmadison2996]

@@owenogletree6374 started Hally Berry.

[@owenogletree6374]

@@caiusmadison2996 Goccha.

[@williamharrison2591]

Yeah, you both forgot about that bad hacker movie with Travolta and Wolverine star Hugh Jackman... at least he got to reconnect with his daughter and high tail out of there!

[@6EndlessNameless9]

"In space no one can hear you cringe"; THE CRITICAL DRINKER

[@Chanksss]

This movie is the embodiement of "That escalated quickly, I mean that really got out of hands fast"

[@johnstrawb3521]

Remember when Hollywood understood that if it wanted to lure you in, it needed to give you some hot women, preferably not wearing all that much, to help you glaze over during the worst of the crap it's churning out.

[@JadeEyes1]

All that was missing were horses and a man on fire.

[@incurableromantic4006]

It says something about modern Hollywood that just "not being obnoxiously woke" now makes me regard a film as being at least "tolerable". That's how low they've set the bar over the last 10 years.

[@owenjones7522]

@moonFall shut up

[@richarddimeck4578]

Aye. That was my take. No woke = bearable

[@MrSeedi76]

@@richarddimeck4578 the good thing is, Roland Emmerich is German and we Germans think, 'woke' is a Chinese frying pan.

[@Lonovavir]

Even meh films from the 2000s would be considered good now. I feel like even average films and series now are made by accident, I mean if you crank out 100 stories one will be good, right?

[@eddiebendigo7317]

Maybe that was the plan all along 🤔

[@hanklestank]

So about that “landing the space shuttle by hand after computer failure is stupidly impossible”… Buzz Aldrin actually had to do almost exactly that on the Gemini 12 mission - their guidance computer failed about 74 miles away from the Agena docking vehicle, and he actually did the rest of the calculations needed with his bare goddamn hands and a lone sextant. Those early astronauts were just built different. (Side note, you can actually purchase the hand calculations Buzz completed, they’re literally up for auction right now at Sotheby’s if you’ve got $30,000 kicking around).

[@xxxaragon]

TIL. also, that's badass.

[@daveyjones7391]

*trained differently.

[@timothystinson9292]

Cute that you think we ever landed on the moon

[@g00nther]

Tell Scott Manley 😀

[@chilidogcats]

@@timothystinson9292 Cute that you think you're sentient.

[@ReasonablySkeptic]

Have you ever watched a movie and suddenly it ends and you realize you were so absorbed in the movie you didn't realize how much time had passed. Like you were almost PART of the movie? I recently wanted an older movie and had this happened to me. Then I realized how often it used to happen in the past and how seldomly it happens to me now in the present with modern movies. I just can't watch a modern movie without them doing something so offensive or uncomfortable that I get completely pulled out of the experience like every 2 minutes. NO IMMERSION.

[@dbsommers1]

Moonraker. An average movie for Bond by any measure, yet it kept up such a pace that it was only at the very end that I realized nearly two hours had passed. It actually threw me that a middling older film could do that.

[@klyxes]

Which of those movies do you like?

[@TheGililgi]

Damn..so you feel that way for Inception? Dunkirk? Uncut Gems? Good Time? Hereditary? Get Out? Logan? Geez man. What kinda movies are you into?

[@josephmayfield945]

@@TheGililgi look - you can name a handful of moves, and say “see movies are good stills” No one’s saying that no good films are made; it’s just that they are not the norm. Pick a year, any year in the 70’s and 80’s, and google films released that year, an get blown away by how many damn classics were made. I’m serious - do it. We’re lucky if we get two films a year that we will be talking about twenty years from now.

[@ScottReed]

I watched Top Gun Maverick and felt that exact level of immersion, it was great. But there's few recent ones to that level. I can always watch the Martian and feel that way too, just love that movie but genuinely difficult in the shitfest of CGI blockbusters to get that.

[@SubBrief]

This movie has achieved meme status. It is among the best of the worst films ever made.

[@tommske]

whats a meme?

[@johnstrawb3521]

Oh, boy. Post-peak Halle Berry by 20 years. Who could resist?

[@LittleMopeHead]

The logic and physics in this movie is phenomenal! I'm talking about the final moonfall scene and how the wooden shed negates the moon's gravity while everything outside it are pulled up from the earth.

[@hazardeur]

quality build structures from the olden times

[@The_Modeling_Underdog]

If it was built by Mr. Chickadee, it ain't goin' nowhere.

[@WaterspoutsOfTheDeep]

It still is better scifi than what we got in the halo tv show rofl let that sink in.

[@michaellane5381]

@@WaterspoutsOfTheDeep I mean honestly what was that show better than in any category?

[@notallthatbad]

My favorite part was when that kid was stuck under the tree and his friend came to help him after he fell 9,000 feet into a canyon. Of course, he's unharmed, just stuck under a big assed log. Then the moon "rose" and his friend says "the moon is helping us!" - which is super brilliant writing, by the way - and the tree gets lifted off of him but he stays on the ground. And of course, every other object - including trains and building-sized boulders are flying all around them but they are standing around like they are chatting in the parking lot of 7-Evelen.

[@chemergency]

This movie feels like a relic of the late-90's/early-00's in all the *worst* ways.

[@chasehedges6775]

Indeed.

[@comradesam3382]

Ikr? The way he described it I would tell you I saw iz Like 10 Yeats ago

[@ADRIAAN1007]

I wish they made moonfall a 10 episode miniseries, they took liberties with the science but to me it was a very interesting premise, they could have made an entire season just on finding out the moon is a ship, a second season on all the obstacles of returning to the moon, and going there, and a third on fighting the AI. There was just too much going on.

[@simonpetrikov3992]

Honestly the Ai and moon ship premise is enough for a movie or game because an Ai that’s powerful enough to crush an advanced interstellar civilization that’s several magnitudes more advanced and powerful than us easier than skynet ever could,that’s older than the solar system could easily be considered a cosmic horror. Any official would cover up the nanites existence because it would realistically be the child of skynet and a Reaper from mass effect. You can’t overcome but only put it back to sleep

[@MAGAMAN]

"divorced and estranged from his son" Why was he married to his son?

[@Smoke3380]

Reading comprehension is becoming more and more rare.

[@machupikachu1085]

@@Smoke3380 IKR?? How does Drinker know the son is strange? LOL

[@livilasun]

Each year, for my birthday, my sister drops around to watch a movie with me. This year we had both seen adverts for this movie and kept texting each other about how excited we were for it, since it looked like the sort of glorious ridiculousness we adored. Oh, we were not prepared for just how amazing it would be. The movie just kept escalating until we couldn't stop laughing about it. One of the best birthday movies I've had in ages. :D

[@mustardnbiscuits5338]

My sister and I took my parents to see "Mamma Mia" when it came out and absolutely could not stop laughing. My parents are both not with us now and we get together at Christmas and watch this once a year. It's hilarious to watch all of these A-List actors not known for their singing ability hired to sing. Highly recommend...

[@chaddsteinberg3758]

It sucked but I burst out laughing when they jerry rigged A FVCKN SPACE SHUTTLE INTO SPACE WITH 3 PEOPLE IN A HALF HOUR LOL. Don’t forget when the kids wait for the Tsunami, TOO OUT RUN IT in a Car Commercial 😄

[@BalrogUdun]

I’m still perplexed to this day how Roland Emmerich directed one of my all time favorite movies The Patriot.

[@ironhead2008]

I'll wager Mel Gibson is the reason for that. I imagine he slapped Emmerich upside the head when any stupidity reared its head.

[@alexandererhard2516]

I've heared it was Roland Emmerich and/or some writers who dialed British war crimes up to Nazi Level warcrimes and Mel Gibson was actually kind of against that... Which would be hilarious as Roland Emmerich IS german.

[@ironhead2008]

@@alexandererhard2516 I can see that too.

[@justinlast2lastharder749]

@@alexandererhard2516 I dunno, Mel dialed them up in Braveheart prior to The Patriot.

[@justinlast2lastharder749]

Mel Gibson's directing side hustle and reputation confirm he had a lot to with it. This was Prime Mel and the movie resembled one of the Prime Mel movies like Braveheart and We Were Soldiers. Roland might as well have just been a name on the bottom of the Poster.

[@ProfEngywook]

I think this is my favorite Critical Drinker review so far. I was laughing so hard.

[@blockbuster-em9bo]

Nothing will ever top The Drinker ripping on Game of Thrones🤣

[@SezarOroo]

I liked the line where he tells his son "I want you to have a world you can grow in, so you can be a better man then me" - well yes, this Guy is an Astronaut, saved his fellow crew member, was betrayed by Nasa for doing nothing bad, yea he's a real evil person.

[@CerealExperimentsMizuki]

That's how the people in the movie see him, you're correct, just repeating what the others said already.

[@SpruceCampbell]

Maybe he meant it as an actor. "Be a better man than me, and not star in the worst overblown movies of your day."

[@sgt.thundercok4704]

White man bad.

[@c1ph3rpunk]

He’s male, of course he’s evil, he’s male. His son will be better than him when he grows … wait, he’s male too. Meh, plot.

[@paulman34340]

@@c1ph3rpunk his son's young enough to change his gender so he's safe :-)

[@repawn3610]

This movie was the definition of " It was a movie aight "

[@chasehedges6775]

💯💯. This is a movie that exists

[@owenjones7522]

@u know me shut up

[@ngultrum1]

Truly was the most movie of all time.

[@kathleenhensley5951]

moving shapes. Yep, it was a movie.

[@pandaman1331]

One of the movies ever made

[@fafnir7149]

5:08 "peaceful intergalactic empire" Does Hollywood really believe this? No possible empire could ever be peaceful

[@spiderlily7058]

I remember reading a book in middle school about the moon getting knocked out of orbit and brought much closer to earth. It was a YA novel, so nothing too deep or thought-provoking there, but at least the author had the good sense to make it an asteroid that hits the moon rather than some weird, acid-fueled story about the origins of humanity, black particle AI, and the moon being some kind of base. I'd rather watch a horror movie where the moon turned out to be an egg for some eldritch space monster. Yeah, that's still dumb, but at least it's less pretentious.

[@tommymarco]

amen !

[@FarginBastiges]

Dr. Who already did that.

[@joeconnolly89]

was a show called space 1999

[@thehermitman822]

They say the moon is hollow so...

[@CerealExperimentsMizuki]

I am still glad with what we got.

[@dannya8614]

After watching this film for about 20 minutes or so, I gave up and returned to my alcohol addiction I gave up for a few years. At least we have The Critical Drinker to safely say: I don't want to live on this planet anymore. My dear Jameson, you were missed.

[@dannya8614]

@just i c e How about I thank you now instead?

[@blackleague212]

@@dannya8614 The drinker, and other rage youtubers are feeling confused now since they cant hate on House of The Dragon...

[@A.N.A8]

I really loved this movie despite the obvious draw backs. It was entertaining as hell.

[@macphail8]

For me, it felt like The Asylum was give $150-million (which Moonfall cost) and told "Show us what you've got!".

[@samblack5313]

😂😆

[@YouTubalcaine]

Nah, _Shark Side of the Moon_ is way better than this.

[@samblack5313]

@@YouTubalcaine SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOOOOOT!

[@CaptBarbosa77]

The pitch meeting for this movie is absolutely hilarious, you can sum it up with “Sure that may as well happen!”

[@vormina9808]

"Jumping a front heavy, slow SUV from floating patch of ground to floating patch of ground like Fast and Furious is tight!"

[@xcw4934]

History Buffs did a video on how Emmerich actually did a really good job portraying the start of America's involvement in WWII in Midway accurately and in a way that wasn't all just spectacle and set pieces. So he can still make movies talented cast and crew can be proud to put their names to. But he can also make something that sounded like a 6 year old pitched a movie idea to their drunk studio exec father.

[@uros.u.novakovic]

I finally managed to forget about this movie, thanks Drinker for reminding me.

[@shawklan27]

I knew this existing again through amazon

[@enteroblivionar]

I think this movie is so bad it’s good. I laughed all the way through and how bonkers the ending gets was really enjoyable.

[@rishg134]

@moonFall If I’m being honest, bot spam detracts from anything. Go away now

[@trevorthornley8835]

@Kurtis you too

[@keithsj10]

The part where the guy refuses to help save the planet unless someone went and rescued his dumb kid really got to me. Wait, that wasn't it... 🤔 Oh yeah. He refused to help save the planet unless his dumb kid was released from jail. THAT makes more sense 👎

[@brainrich1358]

Sounds like a good time with some buddies, grab some brews or smoke a bowl and enjoy

[@FrankZR1]

I did too! I turned off my brain and somewhat enjoyed this shitstorm

[@Bahamautzero]

The weird thing is I can’t completely cut out Hope in Emmerich. He managed to redeem his s-t show ability to deal with history with Midway. So maybe just maybe he can redeem himself. I mean I could also be a North Korean jet pilot

[@paulie.walnuts2838]

I loved that no matter how bad things got in this movie , their cell phones still always worked? I can barely get a signal 90% of the time

[@olliehopnoodle4628]

RIght, at the end they are using satellite phones. I looked at my wife and said 'There wouldn't be any more satelilites! Same with 'I hope that's a tracker' and a helo shows up 2 minutes later. But still a fun movie to watch. We laughed during the last 1/2 hour.

[@MrJoshspo0ngrez]

Moonfall prompted the return of the Sam Neill scream. Therefore I'm grateful for its existence.

[@mikegc3816]

Because you lowered my expectations so much, I watched it tonight and actually quite enjoyed it - Merry Christmas!

[@overgrowndwarf1628]

Patrick Wilson reminds me a lot of Christopher Walken. He literally just says "yeah, fuck it" to every script that comes his way. If video games still had FMV sequences in video games, he'd be in half of them.

[@pysq8]

Just recently saw Walken in Family Fang and Stand-up Guys... Probably my favorite 2 characters of his ever ☺️

[@DMS-pq8]

So ancient humans could build the moon powered by a white dwarf but couldn't come up with an EMP?

[@logansymmes2193]

It’s absolutely going to become a cult classic in a few years

[@berengustav7714]

Truly one of the most movies ever.

[@themightysudds]

"thought this was a parody" further proof that this movie would have been amazing if it starred Leslie Nielsen. Let's face it, every Roland Emmerich movie would be.

[@daveyjones7391]

The world lost a lot when he died, especially the world of absurdist parody movies and TV...

[@johntabler349]

Remember though before taking up the comedy mantra Leslie Nielsen did star in one of the all time classic science fiction films... Forbidden Planet... Where he played what is likely the prototype of James T Kirk

[@themightysudds]

@@johntabler349 Shirley you cant be serous.

[@Anonymous-iw4hx]

i kid you not sir, i had the same thought

[@randyjones3050]

@@johntabler349 Yes! And he was really good in it. Forbidden Planet is still one of the best classic science-fiction films of all time. For a movie made in the 1950s it holds up remarkably well in the modern era.

[@brettrace]

Its amazing that Wilson actually looked like he gave a care for all those sharknado movies and then called in for this garbage

[@clementfermn6711]

This is the most beautiful movie that i have ever seen. It's like a fever dream that you're desperately trying to control but the dream just keeps fucking you up. It's so beautifully stupid just because it/they can

[@Kilgore6549]

I agree with just about everything you said about Moonfall, but I loved it. The outrageous set pieces, super science, and existential philosophy reminded me of the ridiculous action films we enjoyed in the 90’s.

[@freewheeler8924]

Yeah! At last someone who understands it!

[@stecaton1541]

Ah the 90’s 🙌🏻 what an ere 😂

[@darkglobe406]

well this movie was exactly like from the 90s with modern effects but even dumber compared to actual 90s apocalyptic movies . it kinda felt like worse and discounted version of armageddon . all the nonsense stacked up in this movie would not be believable even in the 90s and we came a long way since then (well not as a society but at least in terms of technology)

[@Yaboi89]

This movie took me 4 different sittings to finish 😂. Acting was BRUTAL, and just the fact that they made this movie shows you how willingly they are to give us straight rotten movies.

[@pysq8]

Halle has been in some real stickers.

[@johnwayne9828]

Halles "son and ex" were the worst. No emotion whatsoever from either.

[@elennapointer701]

The "triumphant" ending of this film, complete with unmentioned-but-inevitable societal collapse and extinction reminds me of another movie with a similar extinction-level end that absolutely nobody considered when it was under production, that being 'Alien Resurrection', which has for its heroic finale a ship bigger than the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs crashing into Earth in order to destroy a handful of Aliens. Jupiter would have shrugged that off like it was nothing, but for some reason they decided obliterating all life on Earth would make for a happier ending.

[@Gameprojordan]

Reminds me of the movie 2012. Billions of people dead but atleast protagonist got back with his ex wife 5 minutes after her husband was crushed to fucking death by some giant gears

[@mattdamutt5681]

@@Gameprojordan You must understand, the plot didn't need a pilot anymore.😃

[@stevenscott2136]

Don't forget the end of Independence Day and the Endor Holocaust.

[@butthz8850]

Jupiter still has atmospheric "scars" from when it was pelted by shoemaker-levi 9.

[@OwnerOfTheCosmos]

How about this: A film that starts with a 5-10 minute sequence where you see celestial bodies and star systems drift towards the largest black hole you have ever seen, and then we switch to some well-written drama / character play on Earth (which is, of course, also soon to be falling towards the singularity beyond the event horizon). This constant emotional background could spice things up quite a lot. Could even be a bank heist movie. Just to try something new. If it's well done, it won't feel gimmicky but will instead give us, yet again, some emotional music we've not yet experienced.

[@Auswos101]

i watched this with a few of my friends and not one of us could remember the scene before the last. and we now have a joke that we haven’t even seen the movie because we couldn’t remember one goddamn scene

[@morgenstern2603]

I've seen the movie a few weeks ago, and now that you are saying it, I can't remember a specific scene. That's weird... and kinda creepy.

[@Prototype-357]

Oh God this is gonna be a second morbius, where everyone is making fun of it but nobody actually knows what happens in it

[@Auswos101]

@just i c e i really just got potato wedged huh

[@SpaceJawa]

Having see the movie, the problem is that you have scenes like the Moon passing right over New York, and those are the kinds of scenes you go to see a movie like this for, except there aren't nearly enough of those kind of scenes in the movie, and most of them aren't long enough either. So it's a disaster movie with a major deficit on disaster scenes.

[@themulattomaker2602]

Halfway through Moonfall, my take on the movie was "This is like if the guy that made 2012 met the guy that made Day After Tomorrow and decided to make a less realistic version of Armageddon." Then I saw Roland Emmerich's name, did a quick IMDb sanity check, and realized this dude's high school science teacher must've committed hara-kiri by now 😆

[@nixonagnewreviews7206]

The part where you talk about this feeling like parody is on point. It really felt like Emmerich satirizing himself before anyone else could get around to it.

[@deltavictor8369]

If you want a "moon gets destroyed, causes cataclysmic disasters on Earth" story that's actually *good,* read Seveneves by Neal Stephenson. Or at least the first two-thirds. Gets a little weird post-timeskip.

[@andyhobbs8865]

Wow i have the audiobook great story really interesting look at what might happen

[@turtek12]

"Moonseed," by Stephen Baxter, also does that plot pretty well.

[@nautdead3197]

If you want the moon is actually a giant artificial structure check out mutineer's moon by David Weber

[@ChristianPauchet]

Moonfall had to be an enjoyable experience under an induced coma from consuming unfathomable quantities of isopropyl alcohol 99%. I laughed so to avoid crying for humanity's future.

[@wheeliebin18]

We were drinking whilst watching it and had a brilliant time laughing at it.... I feel that's how this movie needs to be watched.

[@richardhambel648]

I do think the idea of the moon hiding a giant machine that was built by ancient humans from some forgotten time is really cool

[@smokingcrab2290]

"the script actually expects you to buy into the insanity getting hurled at the screen" Bro you described EVERY movie and show that's come out since the early 2000's

[@Exildeutscher]

You gotta approach this film with the same level of total suspension of disbelief as the Sharknado films for instance. The sheer ludicrousness of it and its total disregard of even high school level science makes you just marvel at either the absolute balls to produce such glorious bullshit or the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel desperation Emmerich felt for a paycheck. Mindboggling either way.

[@AdrianneCurrytv]

my husband made me watch this. I left at the end. i had NO CLUE what happened...and continued to live my life NOT caring to ever find out. However, I had to watch your review

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

You left your husband over this movie? I don't blame you.

[@raydafuq3570]

Someone too dumb for it it seems. How is it the movies fault if YOU don't get it if everyone gets it?

[@dimesonhiseyes9134]

Let's be honest if a man has judgment so bad they watch this movie they should be left.

[@VanquishedAgain]

I had literally no idea that this movie was about aliens when I first saw it

[@ratboygenius]

I hope this isn't what is known in Hollywood as "predictive programming" like so many other movies by the same director.

[@th3azscorpio]

There's a chance it likely is. Especially given the growing talks of ai as of late.

[@bretthines1020]

Raised on Irwin Allen, I’ve come to despise Disaster Movies. As millions are crushed, burned and obliterated to forward the Plot, why should I care about the Protagonist and his lovely family as they scurry off in their miracle car? (looking at you, John Cusak)

[@mauriciomagalhaes181]

Hey drinker , i can recommend a good low budget movie if you like sci fi,its called "UPGRADE" and its pretty damn good.

[@2percentright]

Upgrade was fantastic. Saw it 3 times in theater which is very rare for me

[@dr.emilschaffhausen4683]

Upgrade was great.

[@Powermad-bu4em]

Damn good flick.

[@tadpolegaming4510]

The movie that Venom shamelessly ripped off

[@charettepierreyves]

Thanks for reviewing this! I tried to like it but it still pushes so many crappy cinematic mistakes that it deserves it

[@GoodTimeBikes]

I owe a great deal to this drunken Scotsman. Thank you Drinker for all that you go through just so I don’t have to watch the steaming piles they call movies these days. These reviews are worlds better than most modern movies! Carry on my inebriated, scrupulous, friend!

[@masaharumorimoto4761]

Except he's wrong on this one, it's a fun movie, he watched it on a miserable long haul flight across the atlantic ocean...

[@Magneticlaw]

The Drinker has saved me sooooo much time, for which I AM grateful. 👍

[@forrestbehr8778]

And still, with everything wrong the Drinker lists, the most unbelievable thing about this movie is that someone made it on purpose (but here we are.)

[@collincutler4992]

I loved Moonfall because it was SO FUCKING stoopid lol. Like....I found it hard to concentrate on it for thinking "well, that's not how THAT works"

[@kev._._._.]

@@quercus3290 He probably is. Being able to enjoy shit for being stupid is what makes parties fun

[@jayboy2kay7]

Sam Neill’s Event Horizon “aaahhhHHhhhhhHhhh” NEVER gets old. Bless you Drinker.

[@bracken7794]

The best thing about watching Moonfall was knowing it would get the drinker treatment!

[@FoNgThOnG]

This movie went from "Oh snap, natural causes is destroying the earth" to "Oh snap, the moon is an alien tech and it houses a fucking A.I. that is hellbent on destroying life".

[@FallingSport]

Surprised there wasn’t a mention of how the camera didn’t stay on one shot for longer than 5 seconds the whole movie. Insane amount of cuts and jumps at all times

[@tigerwarsaw99]

Don't usually notice it in movies but boy are you right. Cut cut cut.

[@applejuicecity]

This movie was so loud dumb and stupid that I couldn't help myself from liking it in it's own way

[@incurableromantic4006]

Yeah - it sounds like "2012" and "Armageddon" and those kinds of massively OTT disaster spectaculars that were really popular about 10-15 years ago. Loud, dumb, stupid, implausible: but pretty harmless compared to the cultural poison they spew out now.

[@Sun_Downer]

This was still a vastly more enjoyable time than most identity politics driven movies nowadays

[@ToiletBread1651]

You didn't see all of the identity politics throughout this piece of tapeworm infested feces?

[@magicmulder]

:D “Identity politics” 😂 “OMG the villain is white, and I think I saw a black person!”

[@paolo69]

thats the reason why i enjoyed It

[@R0bot4]

@@magicmulderYeah that is tOtAlLy the way this works :)

[@matthewmosier8439]

​@@magicmulderName 5 movies that don't have a w villain.

[@stevekjr9563]

I've always like Patrick Wilson. He's just a likable actor.

[@landofthelostzRo]

Bone tomahawk was good

[@viktorpejcinovic1269]

Can't wait for Moonfall 2: Sunfall

[@WasatchWind]

The fact that the general public still thinks that the space shuttle is in service displays a shocking amount ignorance about spaceflight. The band aid the film tries to put on its mistake is just as dumb. Taking a shuttle out of a museum does not get you to the Moon faster. One only need to look at NASA's current Space Launch System for evidence that reusing old shuttle hardware does not make things go faster. Ironically however, if NASA needed to get to the Moon crazy fast, they'd probably be using SLS. Alternatives would likely be flying Orion on a Delta IV heavy, and refueling in LEO, or doing something similar with a SpaceX Falcon 9 and an upgraded Crew Dragon. But Drinker's point that "its something that the audience recognizes" - is sadly correct. For some inexplicable reason, the public thinks most rockets look stupid and prefer the overpriced death machine because it looks "futuristic."

[@piotrd.4850]

@captain patriarchy First shuttle flight took place in 1981.... so I'd say, 80s and 90s...

[@WasatchWind]

@captain patriarchy.... the space shuttle flew from 1981 - 2011. It was not used in the Apollo Moon program. I hope that this goes without saying, but anyone who reads this and didn't know... the shuttle didn't go to the Moon. It could not go to the Moon.

[@seanlarabee6300]

@captain patriarchy First shuttle flight: April 12, 1981 Sticking in this area, you might want to look at what's going on in space right now. SpaceX setting the record for most consecutive successful launches in a row with Falcon9. It also still being the only reusable orbital class booster. That rocket alone is boosting about 2/3rd of the world's total functional payload mass to orbit. SLS, expensive as hell, but about to become the most powerful booster ever launched. (lord, please don't let that sentence age poorly) Two different suborbital space tourism companies launching from US soil. Webb observatory sending back amazing data while Hubble is still going. US has three Mars rovers operating simultaneously. SpaceX is getting closer to first full Starship orbital launch. ISS still going with US as the major partner.

[@LazyLifeIFreak]

The Spaceshuttle is indeed an icon, an icon of folly and expense.

[@joni1405]

@captain patriarchy America still dominates and excels at spaceflight lol. All of the companies driving down the cost of rocket launches are American companies, like SpaceX (headquartered in Hawthorne, California). America is the dominant technological development society in the world and it's weird how doomer right-wingers just pretend that we suck at everything now

[@zaskarclf]

It was better in my mind, cuz a degrading moon orbit had the makings of an awesome apocalyptic survival movie. But these days, we don't get what we want from Hollywood.

[@camerongooch9606]

I actually went to see this film with my mate, he paid for the tickets. By the time the climax started I was so bored I just walked out with him.

[@thespalek1]

It was in theaters?? Daaamn.

[@badkittynomilktonight3334]

I loved Moonfall, for its own shear lunacy (pun intended). Its was such an insanely crazy movie that it was a lot of fun to watch. The plot was straight out of a 1950s George Pal movie or Robert Heinlein novel but with crazy A level special effects. I was a hoot full of fun.

[@Rikipedia2023]

Interesting, I was looking over Moonfall yesterday and my boy Critical Drinker comes out with a review of it. This is a great way to start my morning.

[@jonathankozenko]

What I expected was a dumb movie about the Moon falling toward the Earth for pretty much no discernible reason. What we got was even worse..

[@darwincity]

I’d say even funnier, in a morbid way.

[@jonathankozenko]

@@darwincity Can't argue with that

[@Paul_Colton_]

Moonfall was exactly what I was hoping it would be...Beautiful, Brainless, action packed and no message. Halle Berry's best role is Swordfish, because BEWBS...

[@MrRuffntumble9]

can't forget "Monster's Ball" for that one...more than just bewbs in that one

[@sidwhiting665]

After seeing the world destroyed 100s of times by asteroids, zombies, planet-obliterating space ships, etc. it's kind of difficult for that to be at all surprising or satisfying any more. Thank you, Michael Bay, et al. Modern writers need to craft a story first....THEN blow something up that we actually care about.

[@kuhanblock9380]

The only way another disaster movie will ever blow anyone's minds is if Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay team up.

[@debbiehenri345]

Yeah, these disaster movies wreck the Earth in such ridiculous ways. What do you think they'll do next - sun unexpectedly goes supernova but somehow the nations of the Earth team up, bolt every hairdryer in a ring around the planet and calmly blow it through outer space to find a nicer star? I didn't go to see this movie, after watching trailers and stuff I've decided I'm done with the disaster genre. No way could the Moon get that near without ripping the planet to pieces.

[@LittleMopeHead]

Don't forget by "THE MESSAGE" too.

[@xxxaragon]

@Sid Whiting just mentioned this in my other reply: while "Independence Day" was also a "turn your brain off" film, it absolutely had memorable characters. which is the biggest difference to "Moonfall" (or the ID sequel). you might now know that Will Smith's name was Stephen Hiller - but you are quite likely to remember his character in the movie. (which of course makes us root for him more when something happens to him or when he goes out to kick alien butt)

[@anttt7993]

I love how these characters take it in stride...."oh ok, everything i learned is wrong. The moon is fake. Humanity used to be golden vaguely Asian wonder species. Earth has been pummeled into oblivion. That freaking sucks man! Anyway hope we get home soon!"

[@raydafuq3570]

Well you do know the moon sounded like a bell when something heavy was dropped on it? Why do I get the feeling most people hate this movie because their knowledge about these things sucks ass and they simply don't understand it?

[@dukeminty]

@@raydafuq3570 this dude really thinks Moonfall was a historically accurate thriller

[@raydafuq3570]

@@dukeminty this dude just doesn't know shit about the moon. Research it. Oh wait that needs brain capacity. The moon rang like a bell that's actual fact and you can read up on it.

[@sainsburyshopper]

The movie is half ridiculous sci-fi fever dream, half unintentionally satirical disaster movie, and I loved every minute of it.

[@derkeheath5172]

If you want to see an underrated Patrick Wilson movie, I recommend "Stretch" (2014), a dark action comedy with Wilson playing a limo driver trying to get out of debt with some mob guys. From the writer/director of Smokin' Aces and The Grey. It's pretty damn funny.

[@texxstalker]

Thanks!

[@AJX-2]

This honestly sounds like a really fun movie to watch with the boys while drunk

[@spiicypotato]

Bad take! This movie was the defining cinema masterpiece of a generation. The scene where one of the side characters on Earth exclaimed “Look out! It’s a *Moonfall!”* just blew my mind. In fact, I was sent into immediate shock. I was wheeled out of the theater that night, crying tears of pure joy as I was taken to the hospital. Bravo..

[@michaelnash2138]

When they said "Moonfall" Peter Griffin lost it.

[@LazyLifeIFreak]

Too bad you didn't stay at the hospital to treat that dementia of yours.

[@jaypaul15]

I cried when the Moon said it's Mooning time

[@tylerskiss]

I once wrote a screenplay about an asteroid slamming into the moon and knocking it closer to the Earth which caused people to go crazy titled Lunatics. It was a new take on the zombie franchise, but 28 Days Later… stole my thunder. Anyway, after the first draft was done I started doing research and it didn’t take me long to realize this is not possible. So what did I do? I stopped the project because I assumed the audience was too smart to accept such foolishness. I guess everyone involved with Moonfall didn’t see things the same way.

[@joeyj6526]

"The AI has gone rogue and is killing everyone!" "OK, I've got an idea... We build another AI...."

[@trustmeimaphysiologist]

I watched it on my flight to America a few weeks ago. I kind of liked it in a "this is so terrible it's gone through awful and come out the other side comedy brilliance". Kind of like a Nicholas Cage performance.

[@brdg4276]

The dialog in this movie was so cringe and they kept trying to push “China Good” on the audience so hard lol

[@TheZackofSpades]

I remember seeing the trailer to this and thinking that the only prompt was “what if Samwell Tarly wanted to go to SPACE instead of the WALL” and built (horribly) from there