How to Get Even with a Narcissist! (Stephanie Lyn Life Coaching)

[@tbd5082]

Don’t tell them how you feel. They don’t care and they WILL use it to hurt you. I promise!!

[@KeishaRose]

Lori B big ol facts

[@carolinehuxtable7268]

I feel gratitude and grief at the same time. Deeply hurt that my adoptive mother is narcistic and that payback was impossible anyway. A.I.D. Angel In Disguise perhaps.

[@karenhousen2920]

Lori B true !!!!

[@marwahassan4464]

Lori B so true

[@angelk8118]

Lori B ya i agree i felt this many time.. They hurt after knowing wat hurt us the most

[@eliciagarcia3601]

To all the people who came here because they are suffering. Good luck! You can move past this. You really can.

[@angelawilliams9088]

Thank you so much for your advice! It really helped me to unload a bad decision in my life.

[@stephenhymesjr.9996]

Thank you. Worst time of my life

[@rodrigo100kk]

You can and you will. I did.

[@Anna-hu9we]

It is soooo hard to deal with the anger inside me. I just fully (or almost fully because it is still too painful!!!) realised who did I give 10 years of my life. Who did I chose to be a father of our child. I am so weak and he does EVERYTHING to provoke my reaction. I see it but it it is still very disturbing. Is there any practice I can use to build my strength? Some kind of exercise to transform my anger so it won’t be out of my control when he approaches me. It is awful, unpredictable and I am scared of his provocations. I feel as if I want to scream into his face! I want him to suffer as me. I want to punish him so badly!!! So I want to be free and healed. How to start from those overwhelming emotions? Not to show him. None of what I feel. Truly learn the skill of being on charge if your emotions an boundaries? Thank you for encouragement🙏🏼. I NEED THIS🧡

[@tinaadjadj4986]

Dear @@Anna-hu9we , I am so sorry you have to deal with believe me I completely understand. I just wanted to tell you the only way I was able to move on was: 1) I had to fully & honestly acknowledge what happened. I accept what happened to me. I reminded myself that I am human & shit happens sometimes regardless of how awful it was, I choose to believe his words not his actions he showed me who he was. I forgave myself. I dont need anything from him not validation nor acknowledgement I know what I went through. 2) I had to remind myself who I was not who he told me I was. I started to document everything for myself reality was infront of me but his lies deceit & manipulations made me question everything. 3) I had to understand that I can't reason with a narcissist nor make sense of any of it, I accepted that narcs are just evil & there antics are intentional just bc they know they can be destructive. 4) I had to show no emotions good or bad they seek attention positive or negative it's the same to them. I trained myself to be neutral believe me it isn't easy but it's so funny how mad they get when you don't feed into bs. Also if he said something was my fault regardless of the truth I would tell him what he wanted to hear I'd say "yes, your absolutely right it's my fault it's all my fault I take accountability for it" I'd say it with no emotion & then I'd document the truth for my sanity. 5) I had to know that when I was sleeping or when I wasn't around he will go through all my stuff just to try & blame me for something . 6) I had to put myself first I am worth so I began hiding my money my valuables in fact I trusted my mom to hold on to it so when I was able to financially leave him I did & he didn't see it coming. Basically I had my ducks in order as much as I could attorney restraining order some money etc so when I left I was able to go no contact. Lastly, just a small example my narcissist controlled me with my meds after I had surgery he would punish me hold it over my head I had to stop showing him how much he affected me. If your Narc is controlling you with something please don't let him you are strong enough your good enough & you are worth it you mean something you are someone please know it's temporary it will pass you will take your power back & you will be in control of your life. This is what I did I hope something I said will help you & if you need anything I will be here for you. I will sent prayers your way. God is love, Tina

[@toyabandz4992]

"When you live your life as if they never existed is the best way to get back" wow best advice yet & it works

[@narona]

I actually met up for a closure, even tho they prefer having an upper hand, I basically said that I wanted to restore my dignity and take everything back as if it never happened nor existed. As if he never existed in my life. Delete. Made them feel very uncomfortable.

[@Shad0wC0mpany2]

Well said Toya!

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Love that too💫

[@candidorivera7922]

How do I do that if it's a parent?

[@anthonymurguia7702]

From experience, this does work. 100%. And if they block you it’s even better. 💯

[@mortsnerd6053]

"If you know someone has avoided you, never disturb them again " Buddha.

[@lorenzoarceo5637]

Narcissists cant understand this for sure

[@shawnblakeslee9993]

I love this saying, thank you. That hit hard

[@OneWhoKnowz]

Facts

[@kandy-p6k]

Profound & deep.

[@JuliaGooliaOnGoogle]

"Living well is the best revenge." Also, I think they discard you once you've actually demonstrated that you have standards that they can't penetrate or manipulate away. It's actually a compliment to your strength. They did a cost-benefit analysis and found that it would be too risky for them to try to maintain their facade with you. So good on you, and you ultimately WON their absence.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

jillian woods perfectly said! Absolutely the person that gets discarded is actually the winner!

[@casse1458]

jillian woods yes indeed

[@christophermosley5885]

jillian woods great points!

[@crystaljean522]

Yes, so true, but so so sad when it's the father of your children and you have to explain why he hasn't asked about them in over a month! Because we caught him with multiple other women when he was supposed to be in recovery for sex addiction!!😢

[@JuliaGooliaOnGoogle]

Crystal Rolfe sad indeed. It seems you and I actually have a story in common. 😑 My ex left me at 3 months postpartum after cheating on me with multiple women. I've been in recovery for narcissistic abuse ever since. It's been a long two years but I've recently crossed a threshold and I'm finally healing. His antics as a parent are still bothersome to me but nothing like how it used to hurt me to the core of my being. I'm now more focused on the quality of MY relationship with my kids and let him hang himself with his own rope. Leaving me was the best thing he did for our relationship. It's like the apology I never got. Haha. Because now, after lots of introspection and deep work, I'm manifesting peace and happiness for me and my children in a way that I couldn't do if him and I stayed together. Keep doing the work, love. KZbin has been like my BFF!

[@electricjellyfish375]

The thing that I found with most narcissists is that you're not really dealing with a fully formed person. Or a fully developed human being. You're not really dealing with a person. You're dealing with an under developed, emotionally stunted, screwed up (to the point of clinical retardation) individual. They are broken. The problem that I have found is that we expect them to respond to us or react or act as we do (coming from hopefully a more healthy and emotionally developed and whole perspective). And we treat them or react to them or interact with them thinking or believing that they see or percieve things like us. We believe (consciously or subconsciously, subtly or not) or would like to believe that they are like us or see things in the same way. Then everything would work out! Or you could have your revenge. But they are not and they do not. They are broken individuals. They are so screwed up that they literally have to compensate by taking their dysfunction out on those that are around them in order to make themselves feel better. They are subconsciously compensating for their own severe pathological dysfunction. Most of them don't even really know what love is. You are basically dealing with a crazy person. Or an extremely f****d up individual. It doesn't matter what you do. It doesn't even really matter if you take revenge on them. They do not perceive things in the same way. The best thing to do is to get away from them. Have nothing to do with them, do not interact with them. Don't take it personally. And defend yourself if you have to. Protect yourself, but do not interact or take it personally and have nothing to do with these things. Or see it for what it is. It doesn't even really matter and it isn't personal. It's their problem. Edit: I'm not trying to dehumanize them. Although in my opinion they aren't fully developed human beings. And it isn't a good idea to treat them equally or expect them to behave or perceive things like you or a normal fully developed person. They are emotionally underdeveloped or infantile. And that's how they'll behave. It helps me to realize that. You're dealing with someone that has the emotional developement of an infant. Mentally they may be a mature adult. But emotionally they may be infantile. Infants function and interact with others differently than a mature adult. They don't really understand boundaries, or the difference between self and others. They will lie to defend or protect themselves - like if you ask a kid what happened when they accidentally broke a lamp or just stole from a cookie jar or something. They will get really angry or throw tantrums (narcissistic rage in an adult). I'm not sure if they really have a fully developed conscience yet, or a sense of self. And there's nothing wrong with that, that's just the level of development of a young child. They have to learn and grow. But if an adult is like this they will compensate and not function or interact with others normally. A lot of it is exploitive and manipulative. They have the intelligence of an adult but emotionally they are infantile. Or they might just be totally screwed up or a bad person or crazy and there is no explanation. Just stay away, don't take it personally (because really it isn't - I'm sure they're like this with alot of people - you just unfortunately got involved), and be willing and able to defend yourself if you have to. Sometimes you need to assert yourself and unfortunately sometimes you need to be an a**hole. Ignore them and if they harass you call the police. But they're usually cowards. Sneaky manipulative worthless spineless and gross. Usually they aren't even worth it. Worthless. Especially if you see them for what they really are. Pity is all they are deserving of, if even that. They will take advantage of anything else. I guess one of the main things that's important is boundaries. Protect yourself, love and respect yourself, and do what's best for you.

[@genericdenizen1]

Absolutely agree.

[@margaritam.9118]

This comment is an explanation I was looking for browsing through the videos. Thank you.

[@fortheloveofmusic7786]

Thx

[@Jessicajsaylor]

Sooooo on point! Very nice explanation! ❤️

[@hitokirir.s2689]

It sums up my situation that I just had last night after losing 6 years trying to make it work with her. But she always blamed me and never wanted to commit into nothing serious such as getting married or planning a family. She wouldn't even admit her fault EVER. But now just trying to recover, thanks for sharing this comment 👍🏻

[@UncoventionalMe]

The best revenge is to move on with you're life as if they never existed 💖💖💖

[@bambithomas6094]

Thanks I have a child with one who has been absent and hoovering I plan on going no contact..

[@stilettomaab]

Bambi Thomas but what do u do day to day. What about the no contact then they ask to see the child

[@bambithomas6094]

@@stilettomaab This one only wants to be in the child's life when it is convenient.. Denies his deaf daughter when he can't get around me and uses his new supplys .. Wouldn't even answer in a emergency.. My child has had 16 surgeries.. I gave him plenty of chances its not in him.. And its not fair to her for him to ignore her calls. I'm done 🙅.. I told him go to court he has 6 other children same thing . I pray for him .. But I'm done ..

[@stilettomaab]

Bambi Thomas that is ridicules. Grown men who act like children. It’s really not fair for the children but as long as in the end they know mommy was there it will pay off. When they grow to be successful they will always know u were there! After sooo many chances u have no choice but to move and find your happy!! I hope you are okay. The day u disappear he will try to look for u. And I would shine on him!!!!

[@thegreatouv]

SK J which is nigh on impossible when they are the other parent of your beloved children

[@sophiaharrison215]

Indifference, no emotion, calm voice when speaking to them, and wish them the best. They will HIT..THE..ROOF!

[@shavvonekle8050]

Sophia Elaine I did that once and she wanted to hurt me and was chasing me and did not care about her son I ran to my boyfriend and he blocked her from hurting me she acted like a duck in demon.

[@MrSilus2000]

It's not indifference when you are secretly hoping they will implode. That's just another form of evilness. You are just continuing the cycle. You can't lie about the energy that is motivating you.

[@phoenixkali]

I was totally calm and wished him the best when he told me of his new love complete with kids he was manipulating against her. He went APESHIT cos I didn't want him back.

[@devonhicks4450]

Sophia Elaine I love this stat

[@CrystallineKnowledge-zv3gk]

Sophia Elaine That is the Gods honest truth! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 They can’t handle that. It overloads there system. They NEED and crave, a reaction! And most of the time, they’re actually “bating” you, specifically for a reaction. To use it against you. To prove whatever “smear campaigns” they’re claiming against you. Be it, “She’s crazy! She’s got issues. She’s disrespectful. Etc..” So they literally WANT you to react, to use as proof against you. And when you don’t react. You act indifferent, kind, like you could care less, they will show the psycho they really are. It’s great😹 THAT is the best revenge you can EVER get, on a Narcissist.

[@iaagpiaasasp3236]

She's absolutely right! Silence is the best revenge.

[@dawnmarie4864]

When I’m silent then he says I’m acting different and an argument starts

[@PandaLAG]

... that & living well!

[@JoeSanders-xk1xq]

Jesus loves you 🎨🎇🎣🎷🎆🎑💄🎺🎍🎋♥️🧸🪗🪟🎊🪁

[@bigchase2759]

It is! I finally learned that a couple years ago.

[@lizzwaceraofficial8307]

Thank you 💕

[@Alesia411]

Why do these abusers get to get away with destroying lives with no repercussions, it pisses me off

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

The repercussion is they never will be able to feel like a normal human being. They are not capable of having a loving relationship with anyone. That is what is sad for them. They will live their entire life never truly connected to anyone.

[@SyMoane75]

Because it's not illegal to be a narcissist. Karma does get them eventually.

[@michealb8868]

Their lives are shit they have nothing but enemies and they live in constant fear of their actions or they move arround to avoid the people they hurt

[@queentrayce2851]

Me2

[@Underestimated_Majorly1111]

They haven't gotten away at all God will repay them and Karma is always an Ugly Bitch he will play them back more than we ever could wish them well and get the best success you can ever ever have

[@bumblebee5926]

Trust me, they never change. The lies, triangulation, smear campaign, discard, silent treatment, hoovering. I experienced it all. I had to study each of their characteristic traits and paired each of the definition of how I was treated. There’s no mistaking I was a victim of narcissistic abuse. I’m done, I know what he is, I’m gone. Absolutely, no contact.

[@xarablack]

Bumble Bee did you have kids?

[@bumblebee5926]

Xara Imogie Thank God no. We were just dating.

[@angelk8118]

Bumble Bee i need ur help

[@juliepanter8320]

Bumble Bee yes they lie

[@michelemoneywell5474]

Bumble Bee or anyone: What does triangulation in regards to a narcissist mean?

[@c11xitlaly]

In my case I noticed keeping screenshot, voice recordings, and even videos was the best decision I made. Narcissists are afraid of the truth. They are afraid of being exposed.

[@emmakatanu9317]

I just took few screenshot from his fon..he has no Idea of what's coming

[@ashlucero]

I just exposed mine on social media and man was he pissed. Lol

[@zashiworld]

period ! i wish i had done that w most things he had done but i’ve got a few

[@JoMama123451234]

Yeah i have all the evidence of her cheating at least 3 times and recordings of her verbally abusing me and admitting that she hit me. The only reason I keep it is if one day shes crazy enough to make a false charge against me (she tends to threaten adversaries with legal action as a means to silence them and get them to comply). Shes a bully at heart and surrounds herself with sycophants that give her unlimited narc supply

[@spookywitch0x0]

That's a very good advice thank you ♥

[@trevortractor]

They tried to tear u down and ruin your confidence so the best revenge is to build yourself up and focus your anger on making a success of your life.

[@shantzmtl]

Beautifully put.

[@Brightestlightt]

trevortractor 1000 like on this comment if I could

[@tophat314]

DON'T PLAY THEIR GAME! AND YOU WIN!

[@mariamistretta3860]

So agree with you not playing their shit game I win against the narrastic man 😁🙂 freedom from bullshit to the narrastic men online and not the other way around. Those online are narrastic men online and not the other way around

[@reenasingh-id9zh]

How ????? I always end up being part of their shitty game . I get upset ,furious ,freak out and get revengeful . And i feel my mind has become slave to that person ,always focussed on them . Its got terrible for me . How escape when living with them 24*7 . No ,i cant leave

[@RocKaiGaming]

@@reenasingh-id9zh Try meditation. And don't react to what they say or when they throw insult at you. Just tell them they are being very angry/unreasonable and just walk away. Talk to them when they have calmed down.

[@reenasingh-id9zh]

@@RocKaiGaming thank u so much for your answer . Yes i have started meditating recently .

[@miaevans8725]

I am APPALLED that I just seem to be drawn to these people.. I'm on my 3rd right now. And I KNOW their traits.. why do I do this?

[@dannyatkins813]

I've learnt something really important, i.e., narcs suffer from inferiority complex and this is why they feel the need to make another person feel inferior.

[@dannyatkins813]

@Life Advice BecomeOne Me neither. Jezebels the lot of them

[@befree8812]

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”

[@sthomas7211]

Yes but when you do that it helps you see all the ones that have been hidden in plain sight. The ones that are really good you never would have thought would hurt you. I never thought my mom was a narcissist until after my dad passed away.

[@kostasplafountzis6602]

absolutely true but revenge is so sweet when you have to deal with monsters

[@phoenixrisin2269]

Neitche

[@jamesorcutt599]

Amen

[@amazingcola2479]

I'm maybe a monster but i'm goku, and she's freeza

[@marywolfe6598]

The Lord said, Vengeance is mine! " "I will repay!". Wow! Let Him do it!

[@lovelykeeya532]

Preach it girl

[@laurieadornetto7749]

Yes. God is just and ultimately I will be rewarded. No vengeance. Unconditionally love and move on.

[@laurieadornetto7749]

Move on. They were never genuine in the relationship to begin with. Hurts when it’s your child but the fact remains.

[@cindyann4474]

YES ❤️❤️❤️

[@kieshamiller8255]

He did! I saw them all get their karma

[@girl123interrupted]

*"you wouldn't have loved or respected me, you don't know what either of those things are."* Burn, seriously but so true

[@jesseenixon]

my husband uses what hurts me the most and no remorse he does it over and over again and then laughs when i have anxiety attacks from being ignored for weeks

[@josephinenm7932]

I woke up one day and blocked him from my phone, all social media and everything else. One month later he wrote me an email saying he wanted to hear my voice and I felt so good. I ignored the email and once in a while I wonder what he is thinking but I have not turned back. I am thinking of him less and less for the last six month. I got rid of all his pictures as well.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

🙌🙏💪

[@makindreamscometrue5792]

Josephine N M i got rid of EVERYTHING...jewlery..( the whole 2 pieces he bought me) clothes his mother bought me ( her style of clothing) the last discard i kept the things...his excuse to come back....i threw away his timberlands n his jordans....ALL in the trash...it felt so good NOT caring if he got pissed about his precious THINGS....

[@noneofyourbusiness7787]

Josephine N M I did the same sort of thing. One day I had just had enough with my ex and her narcissistic tendencies. I would call her out for things and try to work on them with her but she never actually would adjust her behavior... I felt a ton of guilt for abruptly ending it the way that I did but in reality, I was just trying to put an end to the manipulation and I realized she would have some garbage excuse to explain her behavior per usual.

[@charwest9449]

@@noneofyourbusiness7787 You did the right thing. If you try to do a humane breakup and explain why they will just use it to make excuses and reel you back in. The only way to break up with a narcissist is to go no contact. You'd been calling her out all along so she can't claim she doesn't know why.

[@noneofyourbusiness7787]

char west that's a great point. Thank you. I actually checked her Facebook to make sure she's doing alright and she had a rebound within a week. Literally was in a new relationship. My gut feelings were so right. All of my guilt for blocking her was gone lol. She's from hell, but she's no longer my problem to fix. I learned a lot of lessons from our 8 months together and it's empowering to walk away from such a draining person for good. I'm glad I got out after just 8 months because I can go full no contact with her. No kids, ect.

[@Kimosabe-]

They feed on your emotion, your attention. Starve them to death.

[@emyh.s344]

True ... and when it happened they flip on you like crazy and everything your fault.

[@euginiamosigi3179]

I did this and my mother-in-law is starving to death with what to say to the community.

[@scarthecheetah]

Starve them biiiiiiihes

[@aleciaupson9977]

Yep!! It works i know personally

[@southcac24]

This happened to me a week ago. I loved this woman with all my being and soul. I supported her when nobody else was and once she was settled. She discarded me like trash saying she needed space. Then I find out she is hanging out with someone else. It absolutely broke me. I trusted and loved her. I saw my life being with her. It was all a lie. I'm still heartbroken and now I'm moving to VA for a reset and spiritual journey.

[@diningroomfish5470]

Sorry to hear that, women are selfish and mean, I'm going through the same thing, my wife treats me like shit,and thinks nothing about it, her day is coming

[@lizzwaceraofficial8307]

My Hurting story too.l loved and cherished my husband. supported and invested in him.but what i got in return is a pure betrayal by cheating with my sister.

[@diningroomfish5470]

@LIZZ WACERA OFFICIAL I wish that was my case, my wife is a cold woman, I gave her love and friendship and I got shit on for being a good husband to her,

[@lizzwaceraofficial8307]

(hugs).wish you quick healing

[@diningroomfish5470]

@LIZZ WACERA OFFICIAL thanks 🙏

[@lorrainesmith4279]

Narcissists are the unhappiest people on earth........I should know, I was married to one. He put me through hell and I hated him.....but then I did some investigative work on his childhood.....and what I discovered broke my heart. Beatings, rape, psychological abuse.....he went through it all when he was a little boy. My heart broke for him. I no longer want 'revenge.' I just wish I could heal his soul, but I guess only God can do that. Peace to ALL of those people who have been brutalised (especially when they were kids). My heart and prayers go out to you.

[@felypc7325]

lorraine smith what did you do to find all this things about your narc? Investigative wise?

[@walkyria1]

Just because he suffered as a child doesn't justify what he did to you. You don't have to pay the price for something you didn't do.

[@shopsquarestore]

I agree we don’t have to pay but doesn’t meant that we can not have compassion. What is most difficult is separate both feelings. We need God to guide us because us to difficult to leave when we discover things like this in them childhood. Same happened to me and now I’m trying to leave without him to know but at the same time I feel really bad abandon someone that has no one in his life any more. He lost the last person in his life, his mother. Lord help me 🙏🏽.

[@walkyria1]

@@shopsquarestore So you have compassion for a Narcissist? That's part of their game.

[@gapeach3741]

Empaths and Narcissists are magnets to each other.

[@oz6369]

She is more experienced than every psychologist that I'ver seen.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Furkan Öz thank you for the compliment!

[@jusayenso8186]

Furkan Öz ....."Golly gee whiz!!! ...I wonder why sarge?"

[@shubhisharma4261]

Narcissist can only hang out with other narcissists they cannot have real relationships...they r devoid of emotions n empathy. God ! An experience with a narcissist is so freaking stressfull.

[@MrMkayultra]

Count yourself blessed if a narc discards you

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

linda from ga absolutely!!

[@manyfacesrunsquickly3782]

Blessings hehehe goodbye Abbie

[@ARichardP]

"They're not about the facts and what's fair and what's right. They just want what they want whenever they want it." Right on target. Thank you. Excellent work.

[@ravenmoore2886]

Your “Narcissistic” videos have given me MAJOR closure for sure. I’ve always have wondered why narcissistic person people think the way they think and do what they do. You literally nailed it! I always describe narcissistic people as one that ransacks they come into your life and destroy anything that is of good energy.

[@joereidoutdoorsman.3136]

Who would hurt you.

[@demigaines5644]

After Being Emotionally Abused For So Many Yrs The Best Revenge Is Jus Moving On Loving Urself.

[@kishorieweingart2387]

My ex discarding me right in my third trimester of pregnancy (he literally just left me and never came back since after me finally putting boundaries up), was the best blessing I can ask for in our relationship. Now, I won't have to co-parent with an unreasonable, narcissistic individual and my son will benefit.

[@racheltshule359]

Thank you i am in the same boat as you and i am glad my child wont get to meet him

[@nora53ful]

Im currently in my second trimester going thru the same thing. Its soooo hard. How did you get thru this?

[@ashleystevens8431]

Same here! I was left as soon as I found out I was pregnant and he had a new girlfriend and now my son is two! I take my child support and keep it moving. He said he left because, of me 🤷🏽‍♀️ I told him thank you because, I didn't have the courage to leave you! It was a very toxic relationship and I was proud he left. I went to therapy and that helped me even more! Now, I'm like a new women 💃🏽

[@Brightestlightt]

Kishorie Weingart lucky

[@Brightestlightt]

Lenora Hawkins pray

[@kiralevenson1706]

Still married. Just started seeing these videos. I am learning so much. He is exhausting me.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Kira Lavenson,hope you are not with a narc 🙄 cause you are too precious! 🌹🌹🌷🌷🥀🌹

[@reclaimyouuniversity]

They will leave you exhausted

[@HealthyLifestyled788]

Wow , good luck .And keep taking advise about narcissism.

[@Mrs.Green712]

Me too. I'm with you

[@ricardoturner3045]

Seriously you'll never win. They emotionally exhaust you, and can take you from being a confident high self esteemed peron to wondering is it me what the hell is going on.

[@steppib.4598]

As long as you think about revenge, the narcissist has power over you 😑

[@narona]

Sad but true.

[@runangierun]

Sad but true but I still think revenge....

[@jeffwright1722]

Great point SB!

[@rochelleb1338]

I think that everyone thinks of revenge especially when you've been hurt so bad and you just want revenge but the best thing you can do is put it in God's hands

[@davidoaikhena4380]

Keep your Mind and your heart in check when fighting the Narcissist and their gangs!

[@myrianvalenzuela9199]

No. Dont take revenge. Just avoid and ignore them. They will leave you eventually

[@jesseenixon]

my husband ignored me its was the worst pain ever I asked him to please do not ignore me and he did it over and over again

[@bluespace1721]

@@jesseenixon leave him

[@kelliamaya2724]

Spot on! I unfortunately married a narcissist who took me through absolute hell for 12yrs. I didn’t understand how I gave him “supply” by defending myself against constant verbal and emotional abuse by simply responding when the best thing to do was not respond. I had to learn and it took me years. This was great advice. I’m now on the other side and it feels great. Do not give them supply!!!

[@saintmarybulicek567]

I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app [phone] or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger

[@jerrys13]

You are absolutely right! No contact and move on is the best revenge. I was married to a narcissist for 11 years and didn’t know until after the divorce/discard, I began watching these videos as a form of self therapy and discovered what I had been dealing with. It was then that I understood how these demons target and try to destroy an empathetic person. It’s a sick insidious assault and it’s not our fault. For this reason, be thankful you got away.

[@mishacampbell7336]

Jerry S those people are possessed with evil I’m so happy you got out

[@tomtommorrow8930]

Way to go Jerry! I was in for 19 years and feel your pain. No contact works. Keep on keepin on brother!

[@starr6850]

Same here my story...exscept no divorce

[@marye5335]

darnell anderson Yes

[@fitandfabulous]

Jerry S Thank you

[@HannesJac]

Things I have learned while co-parenting over the last year 1. You need to remind yourself of who your dealing with 2. You need to consistently refresh your way of thinking, falling back into the ruts is very easy. 3. Keep your cool then your mouth. Respect is a 2 way street.the hurt tends to make us say things that provides then with "supply" 4. Posting to social media is a big NO 5. All your accounts needs to be super private 6. Record every conversation. it feels "stalkerish" but it has helps control the lies that happens over multiple days 7. Do every thing by the book.Life will reach equilibrium at some point and keeping your side clean keeps your head clean to do the right thing 8. Life is a marathon not a sprint ,patience grasshopper 9. Allow them to move on. 10. Deal with your own issues

[@Mrsweetheart81]

Yes!💯 currently coparenting with this “thing”

[@gidgetsellshouses3446]

Wow this hits home after 30 years and 3 kids tons of cheating I just moved out. I never understood but after watching all these videos I now have an understanding of what has happened my whole marriage.

[@Babu-kr3cr]

It is good to be discarded. Just walk away. Nothing could be better than to have that trash out of your life. That means you beat them, that they can't use you any more. Any attention you give them they use to boost their opinion of themself. That is all true.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Babu it is a huge blessing when you get discarded.. I 100% agree!

[@juliepanter8320]

Babu absolutely

[@jwcarroll9105]

Discarded the connection like it had no value...and then I put the brakes on...I wanted value...the narc had none..I had to go with the good energy I had left over to build on..thanks..I know it's a better way to love me..so I began with me again.... thanks 😎

[@mariahconklin9345]

Babu you’re absolutely right! Because I reacted to the narcissist I got in trouble. I was ignoring her for days at the shelter I’m at. We lived in the same house but then I was moved to a down stairs house at the shelter and I over heard her talking about me to staff and she was doing it in front of people. So...I totally reacted which wasn’t cool so staff had to talk to me. But I asked staff to shut the door next time. I also told my advocate at the shelter (she’s above staff) that I do not want to talk to this lady and that I need to focus on my program and meeting with this lady and my advocate is not focusing on my program. I also sent stuff that she’s done to me to the program manager. This lady just has been reaching and reaching to hurt me and I’m done with her.

[@alexam5336]

@@mariahconklin9345 yes me too!! I reacted at a party with a whole group of friends who involved themself in my situation of leaving quietly and then afterwards they were all hating on me, like I had a/ was the problem in the first place!! Even though this has been going on for years and that night, involving different people in the friendship group! (He said, she said, you did this, you did that) Thankfully they're not my friends I've chose in life, they are my best friends, (who is an empath and not a narcissist) friends, so I'm moving forward in my life and will not put myself in that situation again! I will stick with my friends who love me! None of us need people who bring us down! 🙏

[@dariasterle1861]

Moving on ist the best solution because they realise that they can't control you anymore =)💗

[@Brian-qc7rr]

From what I have read so far that's defiantly true, if they see you aren't getting to them anymore then you win. Trying very hard at the moment to rid myself of one.

[@maryw3989]

daria sterle I have to ask have you ever been involved with a narcissist? because sometimes and with some of them moving on doesn't work. I know because I'm being gang stalked by several unknown individuals because I went no contact with a narcissist more than 2 years ago.

[@dariasterle1861]

Mary W they you have to go far away from them because they are very dangerous

[@maryw3989]

daria sterle So give up everything my job, home, family and friends and start all over again. why not just get a big vicious dog?

[@dariasterle1861]

Mary W because your life is in question ;)

[@Gud2B_Blessed]

MY GOODNESS. This is crazy how on point this is. I dealt with a Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist for alittle over 3 years and everything almost to the T... was this man right down to immediately going straight to the next relationship. I knew something was off in the very beginning. I knew it. Wow. I thank God I recognized before I was all in. Praise God.

[@justxjxskmxjjdijdjdk8560]

it takes years to get over a relationship

[@lovepod2323]

Silence speaks in volumes. Don't block, don't delete, don't engage, don't react, don't entertain.

[@goodnews5082]

I had to block. Sometimes you have to.

[@aprilg3299]

Don't block? Yes iam .boundaries

[@YugoStrange]

Blocking shows immaturity. You're showing them you're still hurt

[@goodnews5082]

@@YugoStrange not hurting but it's called boundaries and they crossed them. If they are crazy, they won't leave you alone to heal. That's how they work. You clearly have never experienced it. I can move on from them without them gas lightening me. Not immature just done.

[@YugoStrange]

@@goodnews5082 I'm currently experiencing now. My ex is my boss. I'm her right hand at work. So imagine my struggle.

[@ryt7878]

Some people are threatened by others who display happiness on their sleeve...It makes them feel inadequate and their ego takes a hit because they wonder why they aren't happy. Dont worry about others just do you!!

[@sarahmaycruz9493]

Thank you so much Ms. Stephanie, i've just been discarded last yesterday by a narcissist ex. Im really so down already have low self esteem. I go thru hell, gaslighting, walking on egg shells and everything. I suffered so much. Im so lonely and depressed and down right now. Thank you for your vlogs it help me to feel better and understand what i am going through right now.

[@nonhlanhlajones319]

Hope you’re holding up well 2 years down the line. I survived. Many others like us have survived. You will survive too hun. Keep your chin up 😊

[@genevivefernandez650]

Keep yourself busy I'm in the same situation think of all the things you went through write them down get out. I will not compare what hes done to me because I try not to even write it now. Is the worst narcissist I've ever been with and you have to think do I want to stay with a monster over a real man that's going to love me love yourself Pray and go to the gym. Good luck may God be with you

[@janscott9495]

I was codependant

[@dianemalk1574]

Just got dumped on Valentine's Day . . . :(

[@Noname-cm9hn]

I hope you are feeling a little better by now! Valentine's Day, your birthday, Christmas, or the day your dog dies are popular days for toxic people to throw you off. Why? Because you're supposed to think about them on that day for the rest of your life. And because on such days it hurts even more. And it's supposed to hurt you, that's the whole point. Big Hug

[@juliahart721]

My narc messaged me and I was like "who is this?" And he was like "I'm sorry I cared, I'll delete this number as well." He was livid. I dumped him

[@safehaven3949]

Yeah my Nex said and did the same when I told her I was not gonna be held in limbo.

[@heatherlynn3438]

How many times have we prayed to the Lord to deliver us from evil? That’s the way I look at the discard now. Thank you Lord for delivering me from evil! Amen 🙏

[@zashiworld]

period ! i had actually prayed for it so many times because i knew i wouldn’t be able to be the one to leave.. then God did what had to be done

[@heatherlynn3438]

@@zashiworld YES!! THANK GOD! We DO NOT “Belong” in Narc🌎!!!! Praise the Lord! ❤️ Now we can FINALLY HAVE SOME PEACE!!

[@anthonyjohnson5647]

Amen Heather

[@kynathomas4809]

Amen.

[@itahayes6165]

Prayer is powerful, binge watching Fr. James Blount and you’ll soon realise you are not alone. I started 2 years ago with Our Lady’s mantle 46 day Novena 🙏

[@alainac.8183]

Sometimes we want revenge because we want our dignity back. But the best revenge is to live your life to the fullest, they don't like to see you happy without them. If they hurt you badly don't let them see your pain, nothing irks them more when you act unbothered. laugh it off cause they feed off your pain, and then cut them off. I dealt with this for more than 10 years, i met this narcassist in high school. I never realized how emotionally manipulative they were till one of my friends pointed it out. At that time I was an emotional ball of mess because of my relationship with this person. I was so innocent then and i think they realized that. I had no emotional support from my family and felt lonely and they knew i didn't have a stable home. They made me feel I can trust and confide in them with anything them, and love bombed me. It felt great, they made me feel special, they were charming, funny, attentive and I instantly gravitated towards them, then they pulled the rug from my feet. I was so confused and I never understood what I did to deserve being treated like that, i was always nice and loving towards this person, they accused me of cheating, when they were the one cheating, they made it seem like the relationship was in my head, or that I was the crazy one when i would confront their behaviour, and in the beginning i often found myself apologizing for no reason. i suffer from depression and ptsd now and I finally cut this person off 2 months ago. I refuse to let them have power over me again..

[@sagenosnibor9173]

Vegenance is the Lord's... Its amazing how life plays out for them when karma catches up. Trust👌

[@florinasimo5098]

Well said

[@MG-ze3lf]

Sometimes karma doesn't work fast enough. Lol

[@rosiev4985]

Thank God that I'm actually seeing how karma is being played out on him ...he looks dark n empty

[@carlajohnson9369]

I'm waiting for that day...

[@notallgarbage]

Karma or God? You can't believe in both... karma is from boudhism...

[@cr4228]

I've learned to not care or love a person who does not deserve my attention or affection. A person who says one thing and covertly does the complete opposite is not worth one second of my time. Boundaries and self respect first. What I have learned? absolute waste of time or effort, empty, bottomless, colander for a soul.

[@SIRACH26N1]

Clear Clear I love your comment it means alot

[@charwest9449]

YES! That's the gift the narcissist inadvertently gives us. We love based on character, not on attributes.

[@duakhan7408]

Wow just the best.:)

[@solutreanswerethenatives3954]

I was ignored by a narcissist who was always to busy and said one thing but done another hes the one that wasnt worth my time though. Yep Iknew a narcissist who said he wanted to marry me but he broke up in the end saying I gave him a hard time for the week when he was bragging to me about a female from school he was hanging out with and I told him how upset I was and it seems like he has more time for them mentioned it one day in the week. He also had female coworker over after inviting me over and not telling me. He put others before me and was a big momas boy extremely close to his mom. He wanted girls to cook and preferred if they paid for dates. He wasnt even that attractive yet wanted a high degree for attention from others and wanted to be a ladys man. He fooled many to think hes Christian. He didnt want to be a priest in the past cause of all the pretty girls. Claimed he wanted to wait but kept seducing and pushed away playing games. He said in the past he wanted to be a ladies man. Also manipulating people into fights. He put others down sometimes to even those who are struggling with jobs and bragged about his many job offers. When he broke it off he said he wasnt ready for relationship but never thought it would work out was also suprised it went on for as long as it did. Even said he has problems and gets turned on looking at other women in tight outfits when walking in the mall. He thought I broke up with him first had a tantrum; then when he found out I didnt, he broke it off with me the next day just tell people he broke it off.I had low self esteem at the time to and asked him for another chance when he was breaking things off I didnt even know what I did. He told me it wasnt worth it his excuse was he was too busy. Yet that made me feel even lower like I wasnt worth it. He always put plans with me off saying hes to busy. Yet had time for family and friends even female ones. He played hot and cold leading me on and pushing me away. Leading me on with poetry, opening doors, seducing and being romantic. In the end I saw his true colors.

[@solutreanswerethenatives3954]

He treated me like I didnt deserve any attention or anything but in the end it was the other way around. Mine also said made me promise using God and his sons name that if I ever told people about some messed up things he done in past that something bad will happen to me and my family. He had me repeat those things before he told me and other stuff I dont remember. I didnt keep my exs promises he made me say after he threw me away like trash I decided to mention the truth about him. No real Christian should make another person make promises like that or something bad will happen. Thats sick.

[@ladyhawk6999]

I solved my problem with these types by leaving social media and out right telling them to never contact me in any way again. The drama is gone and my life is peaceful. It was hard to do because I always try to see the good in others and that attitude has drained me for years made me a doormat more times than I care to admit. It was killing me in a literal sense. Also being around those types sometimes made me question my own sanity and I wasn't any good to those who were real in my life! I finally got my life back

[@katrisianobrien8497]

Hello to whom it may concern in an refer you to consommé that helped me get my ex back and he can also render you help as he did mine oo

[@katrisianobrien8497]

Whtspp him

[@katrisianobrien8497]

+234,.815,..689,,,6436

[@kristenwest6941]

Your advice reminds me of my favorite quote, "that's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life." - Chuck Palahniuk

[@christianpulisic7784]

Kristen West,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌺, hope you are not with a narc 😈!!

[@ferindies1]

this is exactly the information i was looking for, no need for revenge i just want to feel safe again now that i've moved on

[@ReLOVEution2012]

That exactly how this video made me feel

[@TheBobbyBrake]

This is exactly what I needed to hear to move on from my divorce. I am done giving her supply and thankful that I don’t have to put up with her abuse anymore!

[@starfire8110]

Oh my god girl!! I feel like you were talking directly to me!! It feels so great to have my feelings validated!! Thank you so much for your advice!!

[@jaycee4515]

star fire

[@lynnking555]

you are so right, revenge will never work. just leave gracefully.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Lynn King,hope you are not with a narc 🙄 cause you are too precious!🌹🌹🌷🌷🥀

[@katelynbarber7554]

I’m divorcing a narcissist and this is amazing advice. Following you. Thank you.

[@christianpulisic7784]

Katelyn Barber,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

[@justxjxskmxjjdijdjdk8560]

lol want to make a friend with one haha

[@You.m685]

😂😂😂😂

[@jimmynix5399]

I think that a narcissist forms relationships with the intention of turning on that person one day. I think that from the day they meet them they are just waiting for the perfect opportunity. The stress of maintaining the facade weighs so heavily on them that when they finally have an excuse to turn on them, no matter how insignificant the trigger seems to a rational person, they take joy in being as extremely hurtful as they can be. The only thing that gives them more joy than inflicting that extreme pain, is how little the victim sees it coming. They spend months and sometimes years building trust, just so they can blindside them. And then they move on to the next victim...

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

That is true.

[@markb7311]

I think you are right. I may post my story sometime.

[@jimmynix5399]

Mark B - Please do. I’d love to hear it, plus it’ll help you to talk about it.

[@markb7311]

@@jimmynix5399 This was a male friend I met in 2012. We met on a business forum, and found we lived nearby. He put on a big show on the forum about how successful he was, yet when we met he was anything but. First clue I totally ignored. At any rate we struck up a friendship. While I knew we would never be close, nor did I have a desire to be, I had absolutely no idea what would be coming… I’m still not 100% certain if this person is a narcissist, or just a crappy/irresponsible person. For instance, I purchased material from him and not realizing I had overpaid, he caught it and handed it back. Was he honest? Or is this a narc’s way of building trust/setting up the fall? Other times he has apologized for whatever. Again I think it was to gain trust and set me up. Then again he was always blaming everyone for his circumstances… Yet other times he was a groveling mooch, wanting a $20 to get beer and chew, other times it was diapers. I caved a few times, and wish I hadn’t. Few years go by, we’re still casual friends, so why I agreed to the following is beyond me. Maybe it’s that slick charm I hear about in so many videos. Oh, by this time he’s married. I just hope she wakes up soon. Unfortunately she had a kid with him. Plus her 2 from another relationship. He came to me wanting to buy a car, but didn’t have any money. We can all see where this is going… I had a car for sale, he had a job lined up in Washington (or so he claims, since I’ve found out he can’t hold a job for any length of time) and needed a vehicle to get him and his family there. Perhaps I was feeling sorry for the family. Who knows. So I write up a simple agreement and he swears up and down he will pay me back. In hindsight I can see he had no intentions by how pushy and insistent he was. He just needed to get out of state because he had burned all his other bridges, I was his last hope and would soon burn ours. Part of the reason he came to me is he had a blowup with his dad. I basically bailed him out and allowed him the opportunity to escape. I regret being the catalyst. So he messages me to let me know when he is settled he’ll start making payments. Then I don’t hear from him for a while and message him. Tells me things are rough but he’ll send money asap. Not too long after I get a letter from an impound yard. The POS didn’t put the car in his name like he said he would. I go to message him on FB and I’ve been blocked. I message his wife. Blocked. I message both from a 2nd account. He tells me he has no idea what car I am talking about, that he has no room for negativity in his life and had the balls to tell me “quit being a victim” and blocked me. This from someone who at one point said I was his best friend and he always had my back. Ha! I think he is jealous of me. While I am not well off, my home and vehicles are paid for. He’ll always be chasing a dollar, never getting ahead. He’s entitled and saw me as someone he could screw over. Again, I regret allowing myself to be taken advantage of. A year has passed since this last encounter. I was starting to get over it, then a month ago it came flooding back with a vengeance. I want to forget I ever knew him. I suppose it takes time. He claims to have been molested. That is horrible, yet I am not sure I believe it. Also claims to have cancer, but I have heard that’s a sympathy ploy of a narc. Though I don’t have any insight to his life right now, I am pretty sure he is struggling since he’s been sued by multiple people (landlords, car lots) and a title loan company is after him, plus the fact he can not hold a job longer than 2/3 months and imagine the stress is absolutely overwhelming. This is childish but I take satisfaction in that. On another note, I see many comments about narcs aging rapidly. This fool is 28 and almost bald and just looks awful overall. If he is a true narc, why not bail on the wife and kids? I know there’s no way to understand a narc, but I wish I knew why they think they can treat people this way. I’m embarrassed it took me until after all this happened, but it dawned on me the only time he ever came around is when he wanted something. His wife didn’t like his drinking, so he’d beg to come over and hang out…yet drank the entire time and played with his phone. As I learn more about narc’s, this behavior seems to be one that is constantly running from their demons. Can’t sit still, always have to be doing something. Some days I wish he’d return to Idaho, and I can corner him and have him read all the messages he’s sent and explain why he is a manipulative worm and pathological liar. But he’ll just spin it somehow. I am now more cautious of those who “want to be friends”. And I definitely will not be loaning any money to anyone again.

[@jimmynix5399]

Mark B - Sorry that happened to you. Just remember that we always have a choice who we allow into our lives. No offense but it sounds like he was a negative influence and you chose to be around him. Surround yourself with positive people, be a positive person, make positive choices and good things will happen. One book that really helped me was The 7 Habits and learning to be proactive instead of reactive. Not to sound preachy but it really helped me.

[@Danuta628]

You’re so great ! Thank you . I’m 54 yrs young - how I wish I could’ve had all this helpful content of knowledge 30 yrs ago. It really is remarkable to be woke to all this shit. Keep it up

[@garycordle5295]

The best revenge is no revenge, invest in yourself, take care of yourself, live your life like nothing ever happened, block everything about them,go on with your life like nothing ever happened, remember one thing your special or the narcissist wouldn't of picked you, don't think about them even, don't talk about them only maybe a true friend, don't feed them at all, there's so much power in just walking away and don't look back,even if there toxic,ask yourself what do they bring at your table, nothing at all, they will disappoint you like no other, control your emotions, they can tell and feel you out,there little demons.take care of yourself and be blessed.thank you Stephanie for helping out and really explaining everything.

[@creator2149]

Super!!! It's all fun and games until we need to recover from narcissist abuse. Some people say you may not have been involved with a true narcissist. Whatever. I didn't just take up narc abuse 101 as a hobby. I was trying to figure out why my ex was so angry. Then, I stumbled upon the checklist to see if my ex was a narc and he was pretty much 8 out of ten characteristics of what a narcissist personality is. The lack of empathy and the mind games, gaslighting. The smirk. The excuses and pure exhaustion. The life sucking force, that is narcissism, and not to forget the rage!!! The rage is scariest at the end of the relationship. You could be murdered. I thought I came close a couple of times. The rage is like looking at a crazed monster on sterioids. love your channel. thank you.

[@hyacinthbucket593]

"The lack of empathy and the mind games, gaslighting. The smirk. The excuses and pure exhaustion. The life sucking force that is narcissism, and not to forget the rage!!!" A beautiful, perfect, and poetic description.

[@casse1458]

corrolla yes I was lucky at the end blessed to be here

[@rubapakyntein2724]

Your last lines are very true. They could murder you if you don't go away when they want you to leave

[@ricardocarrau8568]

My Brother and on top that he is Narcisist he take Testosterone and Tranbolone Steroids..... I Hate that Monster!!!!

[@nikkiwood1510]

creator..... I just went through the rage faze with my ex. He choked me in front of my kids and when I told him I couldn't breathe he said ” SO” and held on tighter to my neck when I got lose from him he spit in my face. I wanted REVENGE!!!!! I wanted blood! But I calmed myself and walked away from it all.

[@judygarner3316]

The best thing to do is walk away and no contact. Trying to get revenge shows your no better than them

[@larryjeffryes6168]

Judy Garner ouch yeah but ouch

[@frisbeeshawn5356]

Yes and they are so desperate for any attention they will take anything. It's best to learn from it and not take it personal. Just a life experience. They are very sick individuals. For my spiritual growth it's better for me to set a healthy boundary and pray for them. As opposed to having a resentment being vengeful which only makes me sick. I've come to realize people are who they are. I'm not the judge and or jury. ☮️❤️

[@dashaondo5546]

No contact and moving on is the best revenge

[@narona]

I am an adult and i have never seen this resentful side if myself ever. I am better than that and yet I really wanna see them exposed.

[@judygarner3316]

@@narona move on

[@Maria-ln6pw]

What you said about a covert narcissist, thinking "did you just say that"? So so true! Happens almost daily. I love your videos! So therapeutic for me. Thank you! ❤

[@suisydking885]

This has helped me so much!! The best revenge is to do nothing and live

[@PBXVIILY]

Excellent advice. Narcissist have no feelings, you have been duped. Narcissist are attracted to people who are the opposite of them, who possess traits the narcissist does not have. The biggest revenge is cut them off. Most narcissist will complain about their ex, nothing is their fault. No contact with a narcissist they’re criminals similar to pedophiles, they groom their victims the same way. Narcissist are very insecure they are shallow.

[@Jessica-eq4fm]

This video may be 5 years old but has answered my internal feelings like no other video has done for my mind. Thank you.

[@user-ix4er4ck7p]

The discard is a blessing in disguised ! I am new to your channel and I already love you girl! Women empowering other women. Realize your worth, and then you will become unstoppable!!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

ESMERLYN LIRIANO thank you so much for your comment! The discard is absolutely a blessing!

[@StaceyHeathxoxo]

You are right. They hate that they can't get any attention. My ex narc keeps trying to get attention from me and I act like I don't care.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Stacey Heath Exactly it is essentially a little child begging for attention… And the more attention you give them the more they will abuse you. When you disengage emotionally from this person they go away. And that’s how you get revenge by taking your power back!

[@marjorieculp6860]

Stacey Heath does he know you are just acting?

[@amandadasilva675]

Maybe he knows your acting honey .

[@juleso9797]

Totally agree that the Narc finds out your weaknesses and then uses it to hurt you, totally evil!

[@marjorieculp6860]

After an especially brutal character assassination I told him...whoa! I almost cried right now but then I remembered you aren't worth one single tear.

[@marjorieculp6860]

He did not like that very much he never text back.

[@marjorieculp6860]

And that was five days ago.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

What were you feeling that brought up a tear?

[@sharonursi6968]

I just said this to myself yesterday. Save my tears for someone who actually cares!!

[@anthonyjohnson5647]

Welcome to the smear campaign club.

[@elizabethd.2398]

Eschew being the narcissist's chew toy. If you were discarded by a narc, see yourself as the little bird that escaped the malignant cat's claws--even if the cat released you in order to pounce on another bird. The cat now has a new chew toy. Is the new bird luckier? I think not. Poor birdie.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Peace Joy What a great analogy!

[@jackbonning]

Wow perfect analogy

[@truthflynn9633]

Yass! 👏♥️

[@jmad71]

Chew toy. Good way to put it.

[@jwcarroll9105]

Thanks....I'm a free bird...waiting to mount up..like wings of an Eagle...thanks Narc sadist🤔

[@donnadaniels5095]

You absolutely right Stephanie 💕women need to learn the power ,of walking away.🚶‍♀️

[@bevhayden9663]

I was married to a narcissist abuser for 15 years. He abused me for 13 of them, physically, emotionally, financially and mentally. I finally read books about Narcissism and took abused women's group courses. Being charming, evasive and financially successful are actually warring signs. I didn't date my abuser long enough, and if I had, his pouty little rebellious toddler would have come out and had a temper tantrum. It is true that this is not about you, that the damage was done in his childhood by a 4 year older brother who beat him up and overpowered him for the first 18 years of his life. His father was passive and mother too controlling narcissist herself. Narcissist are pathological liars, always focused on themselves, no empathy, no talking things out, always have to win, and have quick and deadly tempers. I was hit, kicked, pushed into doors, choked, strangled, thrown down on my own floor, and my lips, face and feet were smashed by this 6'1 abuser, and I am 5'4. If I went to court and filed against him, and got a restraining order, he would be on my couch that night, smiling, having taken the back door off the hinge, and let himself in. Whatever they do to you, they say you did to them! It's truly sick and they have no ability to love, self analyze and connect. What a huge competition and game playing act it is. He abused me so I literally couldn't think or do math, which was part of my job. These Bullies will kiill you literally, if you don't leave. I divorced him, sold my house and left the state. No contact is the best thing to do. They don't deserve your love and commitments or anything from you. They can't keep promises and the best place to be is far away with no knowledge of where you are, and no way to reach you! My one year anniversary of leaving and saving myself is 2-26-17. I am 65.

[@CH-in8dm]

Bev Hayden ....except for the age...my story is so similar...but haven't broken free yet...he discarded me but is back..to punish me some more....my problem is am currently so mentally emotionally and physically weak from it I can't seem to get strong enough to let go and leave

[@bevhayden9663]

Thanks so much for your response. I have been there, and went back to a horribly sick, dangerous situation, too many times. It doesn't get better! The best thing you can do is go to an abused women's center and plan to leave. I read the book, "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans, in two days, and that gave me all the info I needed. Plan to leave, safely, quietly wisely, and do it! He will never change and/or admit what he did. My ex is in construction, builds homes, lifts tools every day so he was super strong! All I do remember when he slammed my 5'4", 140 lb body up against a door, pinning me and quishing my heart/body against the door....I had the thought, "Is this how he is going to kill me?" He could have very easily. It's my responsibility to take care of myself. He isn't a safe person and has proved that innumerable times throughout our marriage. The BEST feeling is when you are driving away, out of state, and will never have anything to do with him again. It is true that the best revenge is taking your own power back, and being anywhere else that he doesn't know about! My family helped me pack up and move too. Everything can be done through an attorney....Take pictures and make police reports and LEAVE....Never talk to him again and only have a PO Box in a State. Set it all up in advance and get the heck OUT of there!. I believe we are Daughters of God and have to take caer of our selves and children. I have an awesome Attorney who waited to be paid, and was so wonderful to work with in Court. I am so thankful I am out of this horrible situation that could have killed me. With much love and support to you! Thanks to you, Stephanie for all these videos! They are empowering! Bev

[@esmeraldamontenegro2969]

I am happy you manage to cut off and found freedom. You are a courageous woman. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@AnimalFarm341]

Good for you!!

[@emskeeeee]

Congratulations on your triumph & success. You are an overcomer! 💪🏼👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@redroses8025]

Discard ? I wanted to go no contact..and he got worse. The narc is my dad..but after a while he stopped. The solution: don't react..think like the person doesn't exist.

[@ifeelprettyohsopretty806]

That's called going "grey rock" be blah, when you don't stimulate them , they get bored and go find a different person to "play the game" with I know it's a funny concept but now I rejoice when I look "ugly" in pictures where he is around or in them (we have four kids together) and I have had to be around him on family occasions like weddings and graduations etc. I look at the pictures and say to myself "Oh I look awful! Then "hey that's a GOOD Thing!"

[@thefirstjustin]

I had to do the same with my own father, and in order to do that fully, I had to sever ties to his side of the family as well. He's also not the only narcissist amongst them. At first, it sucked and was difficult, but I'm much better off and happier without them. Having been through this myself, I applaud anyone who has been able to completely cut off narcissists.

[@digitt2]

telling you to clean your room is abuse?

[@simplyrise930]

Athena K Dad or not. He goes. Good on you.

[@simplyrise930]

@@thefirstjustin I don't severed with the kitchen knive any more. I use a dedicated insinkerator lol🤣🤣 I had a spare just in case it breakdowns

[@FitsumEndeshaw]

Stephanie you are amazing person. You have no idea how much your words helping me to realize the truth especially the way explain the traits I swear to God it feels like you talking about my wife. She called me every evil and rude name you can think of and am tired of saying sorry for the mistakes I didn’t do. Being narcissist on the expense of our son… what a personality!!Enough is enough! I feel powerless, helpless, misunderstood, disrespected and unloved!

[@daniellegates1354]

also not arguing with a manipulator is great. when you don't argue, you can break them

[@fnqoz]

Revenge only makes you what they are. There’s no accountability on their part just cruel behaviours. I write my thoughts down when I feel the pain and stay true to your values. You are so right Stephanie, your videos help me through the thoughts that bombard me. I walked away and although damaged I’m recovering and drew up a scale that at the bottom is pain and at the top is happiness. In between are betrayal , guilt, courage, reason and peace. Observe the process and you notice the journey is actually happening and you win the peace not the war.

[@Shad0wC0mpany2]

Steph, I was recently discarded and lost, but this video helped me in so many ways. I could never explain the level of clarity and understanding that I got from this video! It came at a time where I really needed it the most and I am forever grateful for your time and effort to help us all. God bless you!

[@charlotteclark6061]

... Be happy that they left! You're better off! ❤

[@janm9610]

Yes 🎉

[@renitaholiday4005]

how to get revenge on a narcissist you just simply discard them as well without no contact

[@warznemesis4189]

I was will a narcissist on and off for a time she broke up with me several times I was always honest loyal caring and loving with her she even cheated on me once had a one night stand and then cried and told me about it sometime after we got back together she was living in bad conditions with her mom and I decided with her to go buy a house 10 days before the closing and buying up the house she broke up with me the only thing I can say is thank God we weren't married but I want up with a house that I never picked that I never wanted to eventually I had to rent it out and I'm waiting now for the the house to be my possession for 3 years so I can sell it you don't know how much time and effort it took to be with her she was never happy she was always looking at the negative there is no pleasing a narcissist believe me I've never felt so much love in my life from a narcissist but it's all lies it's all bullshit they can never truly loved anyone except for themselves they see themselves as a good person but in reality they're not they're horrible they think they are great parents and reality they are horrible they see themselves as good partners and in reality there demons in disguise

[@charwest9449]

@@warznemesis4189 everything you're saying is so true; it's good you realized all this before you got married. You are lucky you got away. Now there is room for someone good in your life, and you probably will be more able to recognize the signs of a narcissist better next time around.

[@heatherlynn3438]

When they leave, DON’T “Let them” come back! EVER! Then you leave them in GODS HANDS! Then take EVERYTHING (ALL of IT) to God and TRUST HIM! You’ve just had your prayers answered that you prayed All of your life! .....”but deliver us from EVIL!” Jesus is The Way because HE IS The Prince of PEACE!!! ❤️🙏❤️

[@heatherlynn3438]

Are You Saved? Wow. I’m sorry. Without pressure, judgment or anything else but love, hope and prayers, and FAITH is to say that “God Will Make a Way where there seems to be no way!” He said it! If I could, I would deliver you and your 7 children myself! Start praying the 91 Psalm everyday over your home .. Learn strong boundaries. Step by step God will lead you! Just keep having faith in Him! One day you guys are going to look back on your lives.. I spent 20 years in Hell with Satan and my boy watched his Dad tear me to shreds and blow up everything. I got very sick in there and didn’t know it was from the Narc Abuse. My little daughter came along 9 years later and it was SHE that told me, “You got to get away from Dad”.. So God made a way, and he has to pay for it because I was a stay at home Mom. I’m still disabled in body because my entire family was taking turns treating me the same way for 51 years. (It was normal to me) It’s only been a year since I couldn’t take the last 1 for 1 more min 🤢🤮 My 16 yr old daughter and me are on lockdown together and this is the first home in my life that’s filled with love, joy and peace. I hope my body will get well now! So far I couldn’t work if you paid me! 😂 I had 2 Narc Husbands . First 1 I married to get out of the Narc house! (18 ) That lasted 5 years. Next one 20 years. After that the WORST Narc boyfriend who I knew as a totally respectful friend and former co worker that I knew for 11 years of respect and boundaries FLIPPED into the WORST ONE after the love bombing stage of dating after the divorce. He is still Hoovering me 3 years after the final discard.. I think of my daughter every time he tries to get back in so I can stay strong. She is doing better than I could have ever imagined! I wish I would have known about this when my son was born! Just keep learning as much as you can every day and pray for Gods GRACE and to Lead you in the way you should go! God bless you guys!

[@dlabit527]

I would not have made it if it wasn't for Jesus in my life. My narcissist discarded me after the most amazing world wind romance...or so I thought. Then he hovered over me for 2 years. I finally moved to get away from him. It was only God who gave me the strength to do this. It was very difficult but he made the way, opened doors and even blessed me with my own home. It was not easy and the pain is something I dont want to experience again. The Holy Spirit was my comforter during my most painful moments and I know that God carried me through this and I am so thankful for Him.

[@heatherlynn3438]

D L That’s Awesome!! Thank you for sharing that! I don’t know how people do life without Him? He is my Everything! Nothing is impossible to those who believe!! Look how much He Loves you! 😂 Thank you Jesus!!! ❤️

[@albandiku6320]

@@Lovefrequencyenergy Yes

[@dianeorr8937]

Gratitude of your comment Heather. Heartfelt GRATITUDE!!!

[@MissMJJanet]

Truly getting over a narcissist and healing is the absolute worst you can do to hurt their ego.. And the funny part about it is that when you have gotten over them and healed, you don't really care about getting even with them anymore 😍

[@amandamariateamg8602]

No need for revenge I'll kick back and watch karma do its job 😃

[@michaelalguire419]

Amanda Maria Team G Sure, but you may have to wait awhile. Also, how will you know when it happens?

[@sandbabe2245]

I saw my mom get beat , my brother and all our pets by my narc dad ! Now I’m 62 and he’s rich and threatened taking me out of his will . He demands me to clean all the rental properties and won’t allow hired help or up keep . He’s a slum lord so to speak. Now what do I do ? He’s living across the street and my mom passed away so he’s targeting me !

[@mariamistretta3860]

So agree with you 😁😊🤗lol.lamf

[@anitacarter8060]

Amanda Maria Team G .... YES!!!!!

[@andreasleonlandgren3092]

Exactly

[@shelly-annjohn9634]

Do things you like returning back to yourself .

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Shelly-Ann John absolutely! 💗

[@stephaniekaymarie4]

Shelly-Ann John Amen!!! After 22 years of being in a miserable marriage with my ex-narc who was abusive in every way.. I'm so excited about getting my life back God Is Good

[@mbsapnu]

This is what I am doing right now. Going back to my old self before I met him. And I must say that it is working! ❤️

[@richardweiss326]

Just live your best life for you. Go no contact unless you absolutely have to talk to them. If you have to interact, keep things light and distant. Don't let them close emotionally and let them know that they never will be allowed in again.

[@carlogambino1979]

I was angry and revengeful after i got discarded i wanted to kill dead things i was that angry at the way I got treated. But then I thought to myself if i go and do something to hurt her life then i am no different than her. And i'm not like that i dont want to go about hurting people I just want a drama free easy life like anybody. I'm free nearly two years now these videos really helped me recover. After I left i vowed never to speak to her again didn't have much of a choice I was treated like well if you are a victim then you understand the hell i went through. I went no contact stuck to it and now after two years she is hoovering me driving past my house liking fb posts shit like that. I must admit it does feel a little sweet seeing her try and get a reaction outta me, it feels even sweeter ignoring her I bet it drives her crazy. You don't have to do anything bad to these people, life will catch up with them and they will have nobody and will die in a dark room by themselves because anybody that ever cared for them they treated like shit. Ignore them its the only way forward.

[@stephenjoseph899]

I'm so proud of you Stephanie! Your channel is blowing up! Keep it up, your work is very unique and needed in today's world.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Stephen Joseph Thank you so much! You were one of my first followers and I’m so thankful to have you here!

[@stephenjoseph899]

Thank you Stephanie, I know it's not easy raising children and running a business but you "make" it look easy! Thank you for all that you do for us!

[@juliepanter8320]

Stephen Joseph absolutely

[@ferguscahill2765]

Just found this channel and find everything on the covert narcissist so useful. I went no contact with my sibling and while at times I crave to hear from her it's so reassuring to know I'm doing right by moving on with everything life has to offer without these type of people.

[@SpiralMoss]

Dont worry, the narc isnt happy when they move onto someone else. They make it look like that, but theyre using that new man or woman as part of the game. They just get sicker and sicker, a narc will date a millionaire or working class they dont discriminate, like cancer eating away at an organ similarly they'll spiritually or psychologically impair someones reality. I had been with a narcissist before, walked away from the next one with grace and maybe 90% contentment...the other 10 % was me being mad with myself for not walking away sooner. It usually takes 12 weeks for the narcs party time.....its down hill agter that....

[@Kris-jk9mq]

Wow man!! You NAILED that 12 weeks/3 months to a key! Well spoken, they eat anything with a good heart as that is the only thing they care about.

[@charlescastro5788]

Dude,my ex gf after discarding me for someone else, cameback after exactly 3 months, you nailed that. This time i was the one discarding her, and Man she did not take that easily, anyways, that was 2 months ago, i hope she wont comeback this time

[@SpiralMoss]

@@charlescastro5788 Well I'm delighted you hit that nail on the head, I'm after meeting a good woman and we're going well. We have a tiff now and again but she's responsible and loving. It's worth dating a few narcs, to find someone with a warm spark 👍

[@kirbyaugustine761]

The best revenge is to learn from the experience and move onwards to becoming your best self. The narc points to a character weakness within their prey. Without discovering this weakness and healthily working thru it you are doomed to repeat the lesson within a different set of circumstances. In a relationship, unhealthy people can only choose other unhealthy people. Like attracts like.

[@NancyMcInnis18708]

Absolutely... I have learnt (with a lot of trial, error and therapy) to NOT engage that person... not only does it have positive impact on "me" it also helped me moved on and completely deflated that person and the negativity... great for both my mental health and my blood pressure! Love the positive reinforcement. Thank you.

[@tonijohnson7804]

My feelings can't help but to be blah towards this narcissist,i guess cuz I'm tired. But it kinda tickles me that as I go blah, I noticed all the temper tantrums coming up,it fascinates me that I gave in to these so long. I feel me getting stronger, now all I worry about is my safety when LEAVING, I'm talked to some hotlines to find a way out.that was my first step thank you for this channel

[@hyacinthbucket593]

Toni - hang on to that blah! It's your shining beacon of hope. I, too, was concerned for my safety when leaving a 14-year marriage to a narcissist with a gun fetish, made more difficult by the fact that I wasn't physically leaving - I was trying to get him out. In hindsight, I believe that my salvation was in the fact that I was absolutely matter-of-fact about everything - no yelling, no tears, no drama. It's not that I was "wise"; it was an ironic result of the fact that I was emotionally dead after all those years of being gaslighted and abased! I did not seek assistance in getting out, as you are wisely doing. Please be careful, and hold on to a dead-calm resolve. I pray for your safety.

[@tonijohnson7804]

Hyacinth Bucket Wow 14 years of that awful abuse,im glad u made it out. Thanks for your encouragement, I have daily set backs but like I said I'm getting stronger. Thanks again

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Toni Johnson yes! You definitely look back and think “why did I ever deal with that behavior” BUT you had to in order to learn the lesson!

[@anthonyjohnson5647]

Toni, congrats.

[@ytcoleman]

My ex wife always talked about her first ex husband being a narcissist. Turns out she is the narc. And her kids. The whole family has issues.

[@nicolasschaede9907]

😂 same here , but was girlfriend .

[@kaezkhronicles2063]

Right!! I can totally relate..

[@TheEwmoon]

Ugh same. Now I know thats a red flag.

[@reclaimyouuniversity]

Thats gow tbey get you down talking their ex

[@misstmemrs]

Narcissists tend to play narcissism experts. They can really fool people. Imagine a child learning from this woman. It’s like the fruit from the tree of good and evil. It’s all the rigid rules and rigid roles the narcissitic control freak teaches. They use the knowledge to be even more abusive. Most abuse victims have significant issues themselves.

[@itzanonmoose8328]

The greatest form of revenge is success.

[@godisamazingcandilove7270]

The best revenge is pray for them wish them the best go no contact completely block them or change your number "" and work on self love move away quietly " stay to your self and act normal "" runnnnnnnnnnnn

[@lesedimsiya2954]

Thank you so much ,it's great to know that the problem is not with myself and that all the things that were said to me are just a reflection of the other persons selfishness and really really low level .its truly shocking to see how hurtful and manipulative one person can ,it's disgusting.im glad I got out of an abusive relationship really early and learnt alot of things that I can now share with other ppl.thank u it's good to know that I won!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Lesedi Msiya 🙌💗😉

[@connymathews9389]

It took me 2,5 years to get out and just recently I could put my finger on the problem. Felt it from the start and left many times just to get sucked back in. Until you lived this there is no telling someone how you feel. It is the worst feeling of betrayal, abuse, brokenness, depression.

[@jonathanomahony688]

Move on is so true with your own life. My narcissists husband and me were together for 35 years. I discarded him, went no contact and asked him to leave the house. Had enough of his crap. I took afew weeks to heal for myself. 4 months on now this are very good for me. New life and new woman. Self love and doing things for me for a change. Weekend's away, concerts, hairdressers, lots of shopping, dining out and booking trips for me. I just discovered the meaning of life. Life is to be lived and to have a purpose. Well come to the new life without the narcissists.

[@PNBBikes1977]

Life is your revenge and how you now get to live it, now is with freedom! I love this channel. Thank you for these extremely helpful tips and advice.

[@curlytopkitty2468]

No revenge. Pray. Set a guard over my mouth o Lord watch over the door around my lips. Be happy.

[@stephanieduncan9023]

I want to refer you to a great hacker who will help you hack your cheating partner's devices and you can read his or her messages anonymously. He will help you out as he did to me. He has all the solutions to the answers you seek. You can text/call or reach him on Whatsapp [phone] and also write to geniustracker701(via)GMAIL

[@janecooper1425]

Oh wow you made me cry - I’ve never looked at my 22 years with a narc in such a positive way. I learnt so much and I’ve avoided loads of them since ,in every aspect of my life. I always looked at the marriage as such a waste of a huge chunk of my life but the way you put it ,is absolutely fab. Thank you.

[@christianpulisic7784]

Jane Cooper,You are beautiful 🌹🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

[@heyfunny3036]

Rule #1: the narcissist is so much better at their game than you will ever be. No matter what you try to do, they are steps ahead and it will not impact them. Your best revenge is living your life, and self-care.

[@amy-leescott6061]

You’ve changed my life

[@amberp5207]

I just wanted to say, “Thank u so much!” I have tried to explain these things to my husband and it’s been so difficult. U just have summed up so much valuable information in a short vlog. I showed my husband one of your videos and I’m definitely going to have him watch this one too. I’ve been telling him for so long that it’s not him w/the problem, it’s all narcissists that he’s had to deal with. It’s been a very painful process for him to accept, but we’re making a lot of progress and your video is just going to reaffirm everything to him. I can’t tell u how grateful I am that I’ve come across your channel!!!

[@kathiejl1]

Amber P showing him the videos is a codependent behavior. You will find that he will not change his behavior if he is true NPD. He will use the videos to gain information on how to manipulate You even more.

[@CarlosMendoza-hu7uf]

This is incredibly helpful. My ex blocked me after I brought up some things he did that upset me. I had very little rules in our relationship and he violated them. After watching these videos I’ve realized that I’ve been in an abusive relationship with him. Thank you so much. Even a few days ago, I considered staying in this relationship if he wanted to. Not anymore