How the Narcissist Explains Your Break Up

#mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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[@casperinsight3524]

When the narc can no longer control you he/she will control how others see you

[@KM-jp6hm]

That one! 👌🏾

[@smerk429]

CORRECTION... ( SHE )

[@wellfleetscottyl]

*They

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

He/she

[@badihassan9873]

U mean “he/she”

[@marycauchon4314]

My ex narc would tell people..."whatever I did I could never make her happy." How about spending time with me, helping out around the house and communicating when we had issues without flipping it around and pointing the finger at "me." I walked away when I couldn't take it anymore. The grass was greener because he has moved on. Have not missed the lies, cheating and manipulation. Making a new life for myself and know my self worth!

[@Eg-jd9zt]

Lol yea what they did was the bare minimum

[@Ahsiyah101]

Hhmmm, Funny, he said the same thing "no matter what I do I can't make you happy." I was like "HUH?!?" how about you stop sneaking around and being manipulative?!?! 🙅. How about you take responsibility.

[@zacharykassner9002]

That's what my ex said. She could never make me happy. I don't remember complaining? When asked for an example of what she meant she couldn't give me one except for one time 5 years ago where I asked her to wash the dishes off before putting them in the washer because some of the dishes were not getting clean. Here is a woman that I am finding out during all of this that she had multiple affairs and lied and put us in tons of debt and she is standing here barking at me that I always put her down and controlled her life? That she was never good enough for me. And that was the problem in our marriage was me not her having affairs and lying. I literally had her in my phone as "Awesome Wife" she meant the world to me and it broke my heart. I eventually got into her google account a few times and Then I found the texts she had sent to her friends and family. Just nothing but exaggerations of things that I did in a few arguments we had throughout the years where I did unfortunetly name call (she never once talked about how we made up usually a couple of hours after and all was good and all the apologies I made that she said she forgave me). She had filmed me and convinced people I was a emotional abuser and that was how I acted every single day. Some of the affairs and her friends said terrible things like hoping I died or got arrested and put in jail for years. She would go on about how she just couldn't believe I had become this awful person. And then literally next day be talking to the same friends about how she was having affairs and they were all just laughing it off saying I deserved it.

[@marycauchon4314]

@@zacharykassner9002 it is never fair being on the other end of the relationship. One thing to realize that when you sit back and analyze it , when you personally thought you were the "crazy one" it was them being deceitful and lying. Im so sorry you had to go thru that. It takes along time but you will learn from those lessons and know that you are worth so much more to someone who really cares. Im still searching and scared to death to trust again. I had never heard of a narcassist before and god knows will pay attention to the "red flags." And to my gut. I wish you the best!

[@casperinsight3524]

They always paint a picture of us in the most unflattering negative light.

[@terianag]

He told me EVERY EX cheated on him🙄 it was actually the other way around.

[@RacyDeko]

This is actually one of the first things he started telling me to. Kinda hits hard when I hear someone else say these things...

[@nadiaelads]

Same, it's a little bit insane.

[@suealexander6865]

My ex told me his ex cheated on him. That's reason why they broke up.

[@askkathi]

Omg so true my ex RTR was / is a habitual cheater

[@phoenixrising8007]

They are blame shifting Twisting the truth to play the pity card

[@lipstickjunkie1081]

*Omg... THIS MESSAGE!!!! THEM CONVINCING US WE CHANGED BUT IN REALITY WE DIDN'T, WE JUST WOKE UP!!!!!!!!!!*

[@godisgood5302]

Amen

[@melissabornbach2188]

We may have changed. We became even healthier and that wasn't acceptable.

[@bookerlo1977]

Facts!

[@lipstickjunkie1081]

Growth.. Always beautiful..!

[@HealingHappyAli]

100%☆☆☆

[@onyx8924]

I take pride in whatever story my ex is telling. I know who I am and anything he says about me says a LOT more about him than it does about me. 🤷

[@lebogangkgangkenna]

Exactly!!!!!!

[@salonsavy6476]

Spot on 👍👏

[@phoenixrising8007]

Good attitude/perspective 👍 Narcs are just twisting the truth and projecting onto others

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

I’m assuming u left him?

[@bronwyntanner4501]

Yup - me too. The truth set me free.

[@webuysellhousesaptscashoff9453]

You know they have someone way before you realize they have. They were always there.

[@theignorantgenious5392]

They have multiple people, not just another one.

[@hondo74rdking]

She had someone months before I my intuition warned me and I just ignored it or justified it .

[@brookenewsome8591]

That’s funny I knew way before I told him I didn’t love him anymore and wanted a divorce. A piece of advice break it to them gently. 5 1/2 years later man is still stalking me and his wife too!!!! WTH? Hacking all phones and tablets and has a army of folks that don’t even know me abusing me too! I am to the point of taking all the evidence in and get them all thrown in prison. Never again! When we split I realized I had so many narcissistic people in and out of my life I finally found out most of my relationships were with narcissistic.

[@ms.bubs4fun506]

@@brookenewsome8591 Are you safe now?

[@brucecavanaugh2306]

So much gravity behind who we thought we were married to and who they actually are. My friend kept having her interrogate what she was doing after work and it wasn't anything other than errands and shopping for whatever. So one day when detailing her car se found a tracking device. She confronted him and he denied responsibility. Her take was she was not trusted by him. Well come to find out he was involved with another woman and wanted to stay on the sly about it.Making sure he didn't get caught. She was in denial about it for months.Cmon it's so obvious

[@marionmjones3415]

The discard was truly a blessing in disguise for me!!!

[@ammararafique5237]

@ Friends. God guided me

[@forgivemore4488]

Me as well!

[@tluangteiichhakchhuak2985]

Oh and he admitted himself to me as well saying "i am giving you a gift" when i got thrown away like a piece of trash.. He knows himself so well... 😀

[@kimberlyadams7709]

Going through this now but some of my friends are supporting him now! Makes it hurt even more!! His new supply and flying monkeys!!

[@maruja2023]

Yes 🙌

[@woopiemiddleman8232]

It absolutely runs in family. Their whole family is narcissistic! So true.

[@buzzingbee9499]

Yep

[@cadenadelreino1442]

I got an Empath mother and a Narc Father. I am definitely more like my mom but I feel my dad in my veins too now and then. (I realize it and feel bad though)

[@RecreationalUseOnly]

You should look at yourself too, or else you are the real narcissist with NPD, probably covert. How did you end up there? What is your family? Severely codependent? A “codependent” is a Covert Narcissist who is upset they were dumped. Plain and simple. Codependent and Narcissist are two sides of the same coin. Stop being a victim.

[@woopiemiddleman8232]

@@RecreationalUseOnly true, there is a reason why this person is my ex. That being said "Im free"

[@gailbryce7492]

@@buzzingbee9499 jw,

[@stilljocelyn4166]

Yes I’ll be whatever he needs me to be just as long as I never see or hear from him again.

[@salonsavy6476]

Hallelujah 🙏🙏🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊

[@jonnieblues6726]

I wish I can say that 😔 I have two kids with him.And Co parenting it’s so hard 🤯.

[@rahilaferoze9099]

Same Feelings 😂

[@araliyaflowers3681]

@@jonnieblues6726 OMG! It feels like a death sentence having to co-parent with that crazy fool

[@Justadudeman22]

😄 Truth .

[@myrna4445]

He says “you are mean” “so much hate in you” “you are changing for the worse” Me: I am no longer blinded by your actions or intentions.

[@jamestaylor909]

Yes, they do put the blame on the emotional state they put into play. Twist their abuse to make you the abuser. This is how you know they know exactly what they are doing.

[@spacegirl226]

My ex said to me, "Wow. You are so angry!" Yeah, because I got away from you, the spell was broken, and I realized what a truly nasty person you are. I'm angry at what you did to me, what I allowed you to do because I didn't know any better.

[@kimlynch209]

I treated him the way he treated me, i mirrored him, and became indifferent. Sent him into a narcissistic rage. For me, it was empowering. After being separated for 5 years, i finally stood up for myself.

[@rgch-raw729]

My ex told me the same to me

[@michaelgoodwin6754]

My narcissist was cheating for months.. she was trying not to get caught and ruin her reputation but now everyone knows what a liar and munipulator she is. Lost her best friends over it.. I've been blessed by having friends coming outa the woodwork and holding me up and keeping my feet planted..

[@diningroomfish5470]

Stay strong, you will make it,

[@MichyGW]

I have never cared about what any of my exes have to say about me, whether good or bad. By all means they can say whatever they want as long as they don't try to contact me.

[@araliyaflowers3681]

Exactly! I don't care if he calls me everything but a child of God. Just long as he stay as far away as possible. Cause I try not to mention him at all... I asked God to erase him from my memory.

[@Andromeda_M31]

When they spread rumors about you to ruin your reputation, try to get you fired from your job or ruin your career, it matters s lot.

[@MichyGW]

@@Andromeda_M31 I won't dismiss that and I sympathise if that happened to you but I still wouldn't care. If the people around me are accepting of their lies then that means they were already looking for a way to hurt me and mess up my career.

[@Eg-jd9zt]

Exactly it’s just to manipulate the new person anyway.

[@Eg-jd9zt]

Andromeda you are letting them win by letting that get to you though. That’s what they want!!! I had a horrible covert one at a job and she lost her sh** when I didn’t care what anyone thought anymore and would her ignore her childish vindictive attempts and looked at her as the pathetic miserable and jealous person she was (bc they are pretty pathetic). They lose when you don’t care. That’s their biggest fear= being insignificant. If you get mad they get supply, energy and they feel relevant. Don’t give that person that level of importance to get to you.

[@maryclebeau]

How can someone have no empathy and they are empty inside. It’s so mind blowing.

[@DarleneScangarello]

Mary, they are broken likely from childhood neglect, and do not love themselves, so they erect a Fake Persona which is dark and deceptive and exhausting to care about (empathic soulful good people are their targets)

[@DarleneScangarello]

They are totally empty inside you’re right, I call it “vacuous” they suck your energy like a vampire until you wake up and run, and never look back

[@jamestaylor909]

Yes, it is mindblowing. I was raised in a loving family. Educated. Everything my partner didn't have but pretended to have. I watched my mother in law whither away to the grace trying to please her man. Horrible end to a beautiful soul. I'm still in this marriage. Sad. I'm hated for my independent personality. For that I was almost place in an institution. If not for those who knew me well I would have been locked up. I've been thru much. I could not have done it this far if not for God, family and education. We are old now. He's getting weaker. I'm not sure how this will all end. I do know I won't leave my udenity to serve one in madness or sorrow. I will not die like my mother in law

[@lilc5353]

​@@jamestaylor909 update?

[@secheclare]

And a gut punch.

[@surfboysydney]

My narcissist father told everyone that my mum completely changed after going through the menopause.... translated, my mum got stronger , got better boundaries and left him. A greater indicator that a parent is a narcissist, is that everyone else is in therapy other than the person who should be in therapy.

[@lisapanaro1703]

So true!

[@jambajoby32]

Idk man menopause is hard to deal with & women get so fuckin mean & finicky &outlashing from it..... so he prob isn’t wrong but he may have been mistreating her

[@jennifervierstraete7987]

Nailed it!

[@eabeloth7035]

Jambaboy so ypu are always in the menopause i see. Especially with this vile and unproven ridiculous comment. Sexist.....

[@lebogangkgangkenna]

This is so accurate New supply✔️ Because of how you treated me✔️ My partner didn't want to change ✔️ Grass is always greener✔️ Spin the truth✔️ Family enables the behavior✔️ My goodness!!! This is all my ex.

[@nightswell]

Basically finger pointing. Flip the victim card. You are the problem not them. In a word: self-centered (selfish).

[@CJ-dx1oh]

So true! I was blamed for not wanting to change....I was always angry, etc etc etc. He cheated and tried to turn it around on me saying it was me. He’s crying playing victim, but people are seeing through his crap

[@baatsebasedumedi1583]

This is my husband.. 😳

[@lebogangkgangkenna]

@@CJ-dx1oh this is sooooo my ex!!!! 100%!! My anger ruined my reputation hey?

[@lebogangkgangkenna]

@@baatsebasedumedi1583 omg. Pray about it.

[@oooweebaby4483]

3:20 Nails it - "you just didn't let me abuse you"

[@everythingroxy3582]

My ex Had the Nerve to tell me... “Just take it.”

[@Paul28057]

Yesssa, the narc hates me because I scaped before he cheated on me another time

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

I got chills!!!

[@jakeclark66]

When someone speaks this poorly about an ex, I’m inclined to think, ‘wow... sounds like this person has a broken picker’.

[@phoenixrising8007]

When you split, they will tell others with the same consideration and respect that they showed you when you were together. Smear smear smear, judge, criticize, demean, discount, slag and put down. They continue to blame/shame you while looking like the hero. Good cop bad cop. Same ole same ole whether you’re with or without them.

[@hemanvirdi]

The behaviour is certainly a reflection of their family and upbringing 👍🏻

[@Nicole-kx9vg]

Yessss lorrrd. So TRUE.

[@kellyellis6080]

My exes dad cheated on his mother their whole marriage! And used my ex as a scapegoat ( he is the youngest of 4 siblings )! I found out my ex intercepted phone bills from the mailbox for his dad so his mother wouldn't see the other women's numbers! This was long before any cell phones when numbers actually showed up on the bills!

[@canttouchthis5729]

No. Narcs are born evil. Good only exists because there is Evil. - Lao Tzu

[@MrsDavis-vm8tq]

@@kellyellis6080 Wow !!😦

[@lt8558]

@@canttouchthis5729how are baby’s born evil? Let’s be realistic and use the science of psychology as our guide, not illogical insults backed by quotes which do not reinforce your comment.

[@phoebe5063]

My ex literally told everyone I was the narcissist. I lost everyone I loved because I began to stand up for myself, he took everything

[@ladyvirgo9514]

I'm pretty certain, my husband of 12 years is flippin all the truth too

[@leilagomulka5690]

I’m so sorry to read this.

[@lakendramontgomery5826]

My ex told his parents that I was looking at these videos to learn how to be a better narcissist 🙃I can laugh about it now but that really hurt at the time.

[@BrillPappin]

My ex person who suffered from BPD, also accused me of being a narcissist. So I went to a therapist to find out. Turns out I don't fit the criteria, it's good to hear confirmation.

[@IndigoChild-lg4gh]

Same AF . These people are terrible

[@chantelblankenship454]

Our relationship didn’t end abruptly... it was always off and on. But the final discard all happened very quickly. So did his new relationship

[@natureandphysics403]

You're lucky. I found my car covered with mysterious scratches and dents.

[@Gerald321]

@@natureandphysics403 It's not a competition. I had the worst abuse post separation. We are all sufferring

[@Morgan2118Sum]

Same!

[@phoenixrising8007]

Wise people will take the narcs story with a grain of salt. Those that know the narc well can connect the dots. They’ve likely heard this song and dance before.

[@Sunsn7]

Accurate statement.

[@christinewarren8134]

Bingo

[@kellyellis6080]

🎯

[@Jackgritty28]

The proof is in the pudding,if the facts don't stack up,then do the math,someone ,somewhere has told a lie and got the story wrong,do not believe everything you hear,a lie or a misconception could twist the story,if you weren't present when an event occurred and it's not on camera,don't be sure about it💥❌🆘✔️

[@morningsong8077]

Truth!

[@miguelfluendez88]

This helped a lot. I’m dealing with a breakup from a narcissist now. This is exactly word for word what I’m going through especially the end. “Accusations from a narcissist are really confessions”. Found this quote today and it’s really opened my eyes.

[@donaldchair77]

I know of a great powerful man who can bring your ex back, he was the one who helped me bring my ex back if you want your ex to return through

[@donaldchair77]

[phone]

[@rachaelcohens1512]

They always tell on themselves by projecting or blame shifting. Just believe it for exactly what it is and get gone as quietly as possible, sooner rather than later! It will never change, and it's not at all your fault.

[@miguelfluendez88]

@@rachaelcohens1512 i did exactly that. Been 2 years and Best decision i ever made. she still tries to reach out like nothing happened from time to time but i completely ghosted. Have zero time for these people

[@michellelester243]

No joke! As my husband was sleeping with the neighbor and emptying our bank accounts he was telling the neighbors (and everyone else) I was guilty of just that. They definitely know how to make you look and feel insane.

[@Sarah-np9yb]

This is exactly what is happening to me right now.. word for word.. I'm so disturbed at how I dealt with this manipulation for so long

[@maryhamby2631]

I totally understand how you feel Sarah! I'm actually more upset with myself than I am at him, for accepting his treatment for so long. #staystrong

[@lizcohane5]

Me too

[@cassielee1114]

Doesn’t it feel like waking up from a spell?

[@lillyandtheghosts3597]

Same girl 🙄

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

18 years for me! ☹️ I’m like I’m intelligent how could I let this happen? I was so mad at myself!

[@starchflamingo]

my experience is that when the narcissist says you're crazy, people believe them, even people who know you. they have crafted it that way, they've made you reactive so you look crazy and they look like they did nothing wrong or irrational because they stay calm and composed.

[@solidcatink]

He just threw me out like trash. He just deleted me from his life. He gave me no closure at all. No explanation. He just deleted me and moved on. It's incredible !

[@raffidermegerdichian9194]

This exact same thing happened to me very recently. No closure, no explanation really. Blocked and deleted from everything. All because I started asking questions as to why she would scream and yell and insult over things most people would simply brush off. She flew off the handle and would get easily offended. I found myself often walking on eggshells fearing her rage. I was then accused of gaslighting her and being the narcissist. Wow talk about projection. Idealized, devalued and then discarded.

[@solidcatink]

@@raffidermegerdichian9194 It really affected me in a very bad way. I've never cried harder in my life, I thought I was literally dying of heartbreak. They disrespected us in the worst way. Tore out our hearts and threw them far away to hurt us. Why? Why??

[@raffidermegerdichian9194]

​@@solidcatink I am so sorry you went through this. I know how it feels to be so coldly and callously discarded. It really does feel like you are dying of heartbreak. I know this all too well. Discarded for no real reason other than they felt like it in the moment. They are very damaged people. Very little if any empathy or compassion toward others. All the good times, promises etc mean little if anything once they reach that point in their warped minds that you are no longer complying with their demands or expectations. Please know that you are not alone and there are many of us here that know what you are going through. I don't often comment much but I wanted you to know you are not alone and I can really empathize with you and many others on here. I don't have very many people to talk to about these things so it's probably a good idea for me to talk more and comment on the topic of toxic people.

[@solidcatink]

@@raffidermegerdichian9194 thank you so much. it feels good to be heard and understood. likewise, i am so sorry that you have experienced the same. it is truly horrific abuse. we did not deserve it.

[@crazysexycool4361]

@@raffidermegerdichian9194 My entire soul feels you. Your reckoning is on it's way

[@zeldapolk1980]

True the new supply believes they have struck gold at first.

[@MavSpic]

Yup, I did!

[@nickroget708]

When I first met my ex I thought I hit the jackpot. She was so into me and did everything and wanted to always do things. The first time I met hwr she introduced me to her daughter so that should have been a red flag. Once we got married she completely changed and my close friends saw it instantly. She started not working as much and quit her job and started sleeping alot saying itw because of her mental heath but would never actually go get help for it just wanted medicine for it.

[@deanapatterson8410]

Omg. So true! New supply brags all over the place what a wonderful great man she has and shes so lucky! Wow

[@newday2905]

My ex narc said “you never loved me” LOL like really the moment I stood up for myself he said that.

[@kitteng139]

OMG he said exact same words to me. Then followed it with, “ I don’t think I can ever make you happy” I was like wow!!!

[@robertelizondo4499]

Mine said “ thanks for giving up on me”

[@georginafronda496]

Ditto my ex said the same thing. I laughed in his face and said yes I never knew who he was

[@over-comer]

My wife said that, but she's not a narc; she's being manipulated by narcs.

[@shannonkingston2658]

Forget the narcissist... What's your skin care/make up routine!!??? Your skin is amazing!!!!!

[@Rockstar-kw7bz]

Exactly lol 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@jonathanomahony688]

So true change the subject. What's the news today ?

[@user-uj6sc7ls9y]

I was being love-bombed by a real creep (I was fooled for about a month). He said to me, "I was in love with this girl in (town). I gave her everything. I was there when she needed me. I always had flowers ready for her when she came out of work, I called her, I dedicated songs to her on the radio. She rejected me and her brothers picked me up one day in a van when I as on my way home from work. They dragged me in, beat me up, dumped me on the outskirts of town and told me to never talk to their sister again or come back to town. She was cold-hearted and evil." Of course, it turned out that he had been stalking her. Later, he did the same to me. Incredible, the spin some people can put on things.

[@dariagerig9176]

R I love her brothers!

[@user-uj6sc7ls9y]

@@dariagerig9176 I know, right??

[@dawna4185]

i am sure he will say the reason we are no longer together is because I could "never let things go" or "i live in the past", or "i never get over it"....ummmmmm.....that would be because i would bring up really horrible stuff he did/said to me over the years hoping to talk about it and let him know how it made me feel and hopefully be understood and watch his horrified reaction for causing me such pain.....and maybe get a simple "OMG i did all that???? i'm soooooo sorry, please forgive me".....HA!!! ya, right....all i got was blamed and silent treatment.....evil!

[@dariagerig9176]

Dawna, yep. And the past never ends... the same abuse is in the present if we are living with them. I've had so many well-meaning friends, family, even COUNSELORS say, "Let go of the past." Uh, hello! IT'S HERE IN MY KITCHEN RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

[@dawna4185]

@@dariagerig9176 ....they have no clue what they are talking about...and those counselors lack qualification for their field, sadly....letting go is a process not a one and done...be well wishing you all the best xo

[@audreyfernandes4814]

Me to in kind of glad their is an explanation and that I'm not alone but it sucks so bad

[@dawna4185]

@@audreyfernandes4814 yes, it does...it will get better, though. you just have to heal and then change your beliefs....

[@audreyfernandes4814]

@@dawna4185 quickly a question is he trying to get a rise out of me by texting my son telling him hes moved on and I have moved ..my son has no clue about what's going on he always stayed in contact with my son but never text him random things and this happened after me going silent for only 4 days

[@dougs5406]

Record some of their rage episodes. Just for your own reflection when you start to doubt your decision to get out.

[@kikataye6293]

absolutely! I did it...Keeps you from from wanting to go back and shows others who they REALLY are

[@laurawilliams7407]

I absolutely did that. Left last Aug ‘19, went zero contact, after 41 yr marriage. Have hundreds of recordings and cannot believe that I didn’t leave sooner. He was so cruel, so demeaning, always pointing fingers and blame at me for his unhappiness.

[@laurawilliams7407]

@ELF Think. Think about it. They might have come few and far between. Mine were about eight years apart. Once he hit me because I told him the truth about a situation that he caused. Once I came home to find my whole bedroom completely turned upside down, the bed literally torn apart, the headboard completely knocked down and drawers pulled out and emptied. Another time I found he had thrown out all my clothes, and a lot of family heirlooms, irreplaceable items. Then I discovered he threw away all of my cookbooks given to me by deceased relatives because he felt he wasn’t being “supported enough.” I could keep going. 41+ years I finally said enough when came after my little dog who tried to protect me from his anger. The anger came less frequently in early years and grows to be incessant. But they convince you that it’s all your fault until you get tired of all the blame and say, “no, not anymore.”

[@witchypoo13]

Wow. I did this!!! It helps. Him cussing me out and saying I deserve the way he treats me. The sad part is I didn’t realize how awful he was until I actually left him. I always made excuses for him.

[@laurawilliams7407]

@@witchypoo13 I did the same. It totally helped me for that reason as well. But isn’t it something that - while we were in that situation it didn’t seem as bad as it actually was - until you hear it now - in this healthier, safer space. It’s shocking to hear it now. I often wonder how I put up with it for 41 years. I cannot for the life of me figure out how I endured that abuse.

[@lanceyarbrough233]

Tears running down my face. You spoke so much of what she saying to my children family friends and strangers. I realized that she chose me 25 years ago. I was chosen for a purpose of her madness

[@SuperEmpath22]

Absolutely true!! They are masters of manipulations!!! 👏👏👏

[@Jackgritty28]

This comment isn't necessarily true,fool🆘

[@natsdaley9615]

8 years married 2 years together 10 years with a narc. When that mask fell I ran. He was engaged 5 months after the divorce was finalised and yes he gave our marriage 3 months for me to 'make up my mind '. This video is spot on. You literally saved medurning my darkest days. Thank you for your work really appreciate it ❤

[@MrsNsf74]

8 years and we broke up 4 months he is in santo domingo meeting up with a 20 year old at this moment. It hurts

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Natalie Daley,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

[@garycordle5295]

They will play the victim as always, the feel sorry for me trick, just to have people feel sorry for them,and they get attention from that and that gives them supply any way they can get attention they will,they right check's there toxic azzez can't cash,once you wake up from there lies and B's that's when there your a deal breaker 🤣 you woke up and realized you deserve better, take care of yourself and be blessed everyone.

[@yvonnes7412]

Yes, the hidden message of “you just didn’t let me abuse you” is SO TRUE!!! He was always saying I was “disrespectful” which made no sense because I’m a military veteran so respect is brainwashed into me lol 😂… I finally figured out that “disrespect” meant he was mad that he couldn’t just completely disrespect me, insult me all the time, rage at me, abandon me when I needed him, and completely dismiss all of my feelings, thoughts, and opinions, without me pointing out what he was doing… it also meant, he was mad that he couldn’t 100% control my every word, feeling, thought, and hand motion (he got mad if I moved my hands)… so essentially, he was just upset that he couldn’t abuse me without any repercussions… It is not disrespectful to have self-respect. Every person needs to have respect for themselves and others. It’s a two-way street that goes inwards and outwards. The duty of self-respect is to be the gatekeepers for our own hearts and minds as far as what we allow to enter.

[@elizabethbreeden6212]

It's so confusing bc when my husband and I are arguing we can ping pong between responding codependently and responding narcissistically throughout the argument, back and forth. So I'm always checking to make sure that I'm not the narcissist. I just want to make sure that I'm doing all that I can to be healthy for my kids. If there is something that I can change then I want to do it. Then one day I came across a comment that stated something like "if you've ever wondered if you are the narcissist, if you've ever researched it, if you have ever tried to make changes to be more healthy, then you are not the narcissist". You are reacting to the narcissist in a narcissistic manner is what I got out of it. Its important to remember that everyone has narcissistic traits depending on the trigger, situation, etc. Such an eye opener but also just so confusing. I'm so glad I'm leaving the marriage. I feel like I havent reacted like myself in so long that I have forgotten who I am. It's important to stick to a life that makes sense instead of this chaos so that you can also consistently and peacefully remain yourself.

[@pattypurks6127]

Our son going through this

[@Uknurse464]

It’s normal to mirror a narcissists behaviour back at them. You end up doing this either consciously or subconsciously after a while. narcissists don’t reflect on their behaviour and employ self awareness like you have done.

[@bayroyalty]

I have learned that when a guy says that their ex is crazy- they are normally the person who drove them there.

[@Barbara_Banks_1]

Great video- But when the shoe was on the other foot... I’ve had 2 friends ask me what happened, after an ending of my friendship with a narcissist. I answered, “I found out we are completely different people.” One of them pressed on, “Yeah, but what happened.” I simply stated, “We are very different people, with different lifestyles. So, let’s just leave it at that.” Then we moved on to talk about other things. Idk what the narcissist has to say about me, and I don’t really care. (Within all of their malicious gossip and lies)... I don’t allow a narcissist to define my reality. I’m not allowing myself to discuss the details with anyone, who may have the potential to be a flying monkey, and stir drama. Nor do I feel the need to try to explain, the actions and mindset of a covert narcissist. Many people just don’t understand what a narcissist is. So, sometimes, the less said, the better off you are! :) Thank you for your videos! I appreciate decent people like yourself, who are empowering others in their lives. ❤️

[@MichyGW]

I couldn't have said it better.

[@salonsavy6476]

Awesome 👏

[@fernfractal]

yeaaa ... I have a friend who's a social worker + doesn't believe covert narcissists exist bc she didn't see it in the DSM-V manual. your approach is SO much healthier than wasting my breath on ppl who haven't been thru it before.

[@jennjackson3772]

Well said!

[@casperinsight3524]

🎯 Truth! Those that speak negatively speak volumes.

[@markthomas6436]

Absolutely spot on! My narcissist wife said I was "95% responsible for all the problems in our marriage." Also, she indignantly said, "Don't you make out that I AM hard to get along with!" She has convinced our four children that I didn't want them, so they have nothing to do with me. I met, a few years ago, a woman who knew my wife in high school (1960's) This woman said "Paula was the most self-absorbed person I have ever met." I left my wife through divorce in 2010. I am just now realizing how toxic and manipulative she was. Thank you for the hard truth. I am healing!

[@skynjaydensdaddy]

Are your kids still not talking to you? My wife took my kids two states away 3 years ago Father's Day weekend, now they want nothing to do with me. From my research it's only a matter of time before they see who's who and the script gets flipped and despise the parent that did that to them.

[@markthomas6436]

@@skynjaydensdaddy I keep praying and hoping my kids will come back to me, but nothing yet. It's been 17 years for the oldest daughter.

[@skynjaydensdaddy]

@@markthomas6436 I'm sorry to hear that, that sucks! I don't understand how someone could even think about doing something like that, let alone carry it out, especially to someone they "love". My oldest daughter is 21 and my youngest is 17, they know they mean the world to me, I've been by their side since day one. There's not one award ceremony, parent teacher conference, Dr. App, etc... I can recall that I haven't been there for until their mom took off with them three years ago. I couldn't imagine going 17 years, my heart goes out to you, hopefully they come around sooner than later.

[@skynjaydensdaddy]

Also, I just ended a relationship with yet another one, best decision I've made this year. She's done a lot of damage but no kids were/are involved, just hateful shit trying to get me to react. Thing is she's not worth me even thinking about it.

[@markthomas6436]

@skynjaydensdaddy All over the country, men are walking away. MGTOW is now a thing. Feminism has done tremendous damage. Hang in there, brother!

[@kelseymfoster]

So mine knew he couldn’t smear my character, so instead he told everyone he made up feelings for me and couldn’t live a lie anymore. Double win for him, he gets a pat on the back for being “honest” and gets to tell the new supply he really loves her not like his ex wife and they feel sooo special bc they won his real love. Such bullshit I’ll never believe it. The true story is “I don’t like that I can’t abuse you so I’m leaving.” He’s a complete joke of a person. Sad.

[@NYK115]

Kelsey Foster I wish my ex wife did that , I would have been very happy. I asked her for mutual divorce with co-parenting since We have a kid but she went and filed divorce falsely claiming Domestic violence and saying I took a huge amount of money and her jewellery and told me she needs a lump sum money as security to live with me and alienated my kid from me. She even changed my kid’s second name to get under my skin .Divorce is done now and she reversed all other cases when asked to submit proof but she is playing mind games with the kid. She thought she just had to shed crocodile tears and the judge is gone to turn against me like her parents and family. Luckily I had proof which I had actually made to convince my own parents that she is violent ,narcissistic and a compulsive liar. She has a baby face and can shed tears in matter of seconds and laugh under it. Even now she is trying to bait me and claims that I don’t understand her and only reason she filed for divorce was I didn’t provide security. She is expecting that I will beg her to come back if she dangles the kid. I have done that before the divorce but not anymore . I missed my kid really bad in the beginning and felt guilty for no reason but things got better and I had an awakening and have a sane and peaceful life now. I know I will get to see my kid soon and enjoy a good relationship with him. I watched the movie “Gone girl” . I could so relate to it. I don’t understand how they are super dumb ,unbelievably cunning and absolutely fearless at the same time. I mean some of her schemes were outstanding and they can do little things perfectly to get you but only for time being as When their stories start falling it usually falls like dominos.

[@kellyellis6080]

Yep! Like mine was too much of a coward to break things off with me so instead , he sold his house and moved back to another town he used to live in ( he's lived everywhere so many times! ) knowing I would not go because I still had a teenager who had not graduated yet! He flipped it on me and told everyone that I walked away and left HIM heartbroken! 🙄 These people are unbelievably deceitful! Oh , and come to find out , he was sneaking around with his ex behind my back and things were starting to unravel quick for him! THAT'S why he ran away!!

[@BCHODOSH01]

Stephanie, excellent presentation! Every word that you said today is absolutely true. The relationship i was in with a BPD/NPD individual was a most toxic situation,and the time after i broke it off has reflected exactly what you talked about in this video. Thank goodness i know who i am, and how i acted in the relationship,and i knew that she would play the victim, and i am the bad guy who CHANGED and DIDN'T MEET HER NEEDS AND EXPECTATIONS! She hasn't and probably never will recognize how her behavior affected me and our relationship. She never would own her part and accept responsibility for her behavior. I'm strong, i will survive,and i sure learned valuable lessons along the way. Thank you for your help, guidance and wisdom. I look forward to your next presentation. Take care, be well.

[@joellenwalker9830]

ROBERT CHODOSH I totally get what you are saying! My ex had these same personality disorders (undiagnosed because it was not his problem but mine)! I’ve heard all these things about me that I am terrible and crazy etc. But in reality everyone who matters to me knows that I am the most balanced person who has tried everything possible to get him help but he didn’t need it! The kids all say that I was the glue in the home that kept it all together. I’m done with him and all his flying monkeys.

[@BCHODOSH01]

@@joellenwalker9830 it's sad that we were subjected to this abusive and hurtful behavior when we were the partner that gave 150% to the relationship, and then trashed after the relationship was over. I'm glad to be out of the relationship that was so hurtful. I wish you the best.

[@mokgalomatloa4313]

@Robert glad to hear comments from another guy who's dealing with this

[@BCHODOSH01]

@@mokgalomatloa4313 good luck in your personal situation. Take care of yourself.

[@rhysweaver7178]

Hey Robert. It rang the bell of truth.

[@christienagel9605]

I'm trying my damndest as an empath to break the curse of being with narcissist boyfriends / husbands, & it certainly is not easy! ..

[@carefulobserver1166]

You'll get there. I'm getting there, but it takes time. We've been living in crazy town.

[@thorvaldmelum9877]

Stand firm to your boundaries. No margin for error, butt forgiving of mistakes. You will have peace always. " words not matching actions is called manipulastion, and not being accountable for it us called gaslighting." Walk tall and remember, Changing one letter gives you peace. You can be bitter or you can be better. Keep the attitude of Gratitude.

[@jalynnmarie4218]

Start praying and planning to leave the situation. Everyday choose to forgive the other person. Start self Loving affirmations. You can do it! Trust me I did after I almost lost my life. Just don’t wait until it’s to late and your dead.

[@tetonshadows]

“I Changed after we got engaged”...YES, I did. He did too. I started standing my ground. Verbal and Emotional abuse is not acceptable. When I walked away, it became physical. YES, I CHANGED!!!

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

Did u also verbally and emotionally “abuse” him? Did u provoke him? Or were u a sweet little angel he just wanted to bully cuz he’s a horrible human being? (whom u chose to be with in a moment of temporary insanity?)

[@smerk429]

You sound like TCann acting like the victim but probably annoyed the shit out of him with your immature silent treatment after you caused many arguments ?

[@dariagerig9176]

@@albertodeulofeu5277 YEAH, it's always something or somebody else. NEVER, "Oh my gosh. I DID THAT TO YOU???? I AM SOOOO SORRY. Can you ever forgive me?" Uh, only in my dreams.

[@joeyszalkiewicz8052]

Goodbye earl.

[@newyorke172]

Too late.. I already acted crazy when his entire family cut off me and my (our) daughter knowing I was having trouble affording groceries. They continued to rally around him😣

[@brightlights9615]

E Moore, well, that's understandable, being cut off would be a huge challenge in emotion control. Big hugs. I hope things are better now and you can separate yourself from him emotionally so you can find your peace. Baby steps.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

E M,you are absolutely charming!

[@lisabowden402]

Yes! They will attack you when you are down. Your children, family etc. they have no boundaries!

[@Sarah-np9yb]

Can you please do a video explaining how to stay grounded and confident while all of this happens? How do we get over the manipulation and continue to trust ourselves while all this happens?

[@myrna4445]

His brother said “why do you do things that make him angry.” Thanks to that comment, I decided to end my marriage. I realized I was in an abusive relationship.

[@shellisapp]

Yesssssss!!

[@AwesomeMe47]

Yes please!

[@BLITZY261]

@@myrna4445 great move.

[@zephlaron1750]

Sarah, I believe she has a video on this earlier in the channel. Take time to heal, recognize you've likely been through a lot of abuse, personally I think therapy helps a lot. Confidence will wander some, but work on yourself and remember what they were doing.. who they are.. has nothing to do with you! Focus inward and strive to be the best version of yourself, and be grateful they have shown you the importance of NOT ignoring red flags while setting you free from their abusive behavior.

[@pinkrainbow1]

It's a valuable reminder to hear that people will ultimately judge me based on ME.. what they see. Not necessarily about what someone says about me. Always good to remind yourself of that.

[@user-fm3wn2dg8n]

its so funny and also sad for me because when i realised what was going on and started standing up for myself and defending myself and explaining why her actions hurt, thats when she started telling people i was manipulating her, because i was for once done with apologizing for things that werent my fault, when i stopped taking insults and silent treatment, thats when i became 'manipulative'. i literally stared at a wall for 2 days because i could not believe what i was experiencing. me, confused, broken and walking on eggshells everyday, and somehow i was 'manipulative'. something changed in me that day and idk how to be the same. its so cruel and horrible that such people exist.. and hardly anyone sees the full story.

[@karmagal8067]

My ex’s family is VERY enabling. The narcissist cheats, discards you and dispute you’re best efforts moves in with the new supply. When you accept the reality, they run to their,”Enablers” and cry about their loss. Your told they don’t want therapy, church, to live with you anymore, to come home and it was all your fault. Okay. Go in peace.” Now HE and HIS family are upset and suffering? My Dad always said,”Believe 1/2 of what you see & None of what you hear.” Good advice.

[@d2svpcfp]

Oh...my...God! This is exactly what’s happening in my life. Stephanie...thank you for this video. I wish I were able to do a sesh with you. Even good therapists don’t have the insight on this that you do. I’m done with it.., but still in disbelief and processing..

[@rickhammar1636]

It takes a while but hang in there. It does get better

[@karmagal8067]

Daniel Evan Davis I understand what you mean. Can’t find anyone in my area who can wrap their head around what happened and how it went down. I was married a long time, had two sons then my husband became more involved with his family, work, and hooked up with a girl who came to date our son! Now, I’m single, trying to get my balance, be a good mom and reprogram myself. We can do it. Just keep breathing.

[@genevivefernandez650]

My narcissist it's only with me becauseThere's work to be done at my place means hes gonna get paid . But unfortunately he doesn't know that I'm going to leave him. He is a promiscuous man and when he does it I could tell because I get the brunt of all of it he thinks I'm stupid. A woman knows when a man is no good. Mine called me pathetic and I am a loser.. I've never heard those words before He is getting really cruel and I will never Have anyone treat me like that ever again you become a loser because you're with one. Thank you so much for your video. Everything you said on the video was right on..I can write a book what this man has done to me.. His brother hung himself and he never shed a tear but he went to the funeral.. That's the attention that you were talking all about him. I can't believe that I've been with this man for 5 years and it's always been the same.. He is with me because I support him sometimes what a dumb lady I am..

[@Kitty-rj9sx]

Honestly. I’m going through this right now and every night I watch you to just have a little bit of healing. Thank you! ❤

[@ladyvirgo9514]

Me too Kitty. This is brutal

[@maryanndelatorre5492]

same

[@danilosantos2217]

“New supply” was me listening he saying all these things about his ex to me... haha

[@shawnturner4292]

🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭

[@Jackgritty28]

People have to describe their ex,if they have one✔️⛔❌

[@christoole1488]

They drop hints of " this person has problems " your entire relationship. Just incase they need a excuse.

[@ablankslate6339]

Yup.

[@Paul28057]

''You don't know how to love'' he used to say to me after abusing me for more than a year 😒

[@chrismcclellanthejoyconnector]

I didn’t hear from a single person in his family or our friends when I left the narcissist, my fiancé. I was devastated. Now, I’m getting back on my feet and walking toward a brighter future. It was really helpful to hear this video. Thank you! I have no doubt he played the victim to his family. I bet he played the victim to some friends and colleagues too...new supply was a full blown relationship by the time I left. I think he was asking her to move in as I was moving out. Your videos give me healing and sanity. I’ve been working on myself, healing codependency and never again will I lower my standards like this relationship.

[@eaglespy72]

CONTACT EAGLE SPY ON Whatsapp : Whatsapp :[phone] to help you too. I am here to talk about my Experience, we were married for about 10 years. we were so in love and so close to Each other and we were blessed with 4 kids, we struggled so much to Make money in the early stages of our marriage, finally God blessed my husband with a very good job with lucrative offers. Few months after, i started noticing some changes on his acts, it was a struggle for him to do so many things in the family, he cared less for the kids, the most annoying of it he started to keep late nights and sometimes not even come home. i was so curious and really worried with this attitude of his, so i was forced to look for a way to get into his phone to really see what he does, Someone referred me to a phone spying company EAGLE SPY, they are simply Amazing they were able to clone his phone for me and provided the password to all his phone and Social media in few hours , i have access to both deleted and incoming messages then i found out my husband has Been keeping a family aside from i and my kid, it was really Sad and disastrous for The few weeks after i knew the reasons for his depression but trust me i live very fine and happy with my kids now. you can contact him on ( Whatsapp :[phone] ) to help you spy on your narcissist spouse or abuse now to have evidence on them.......]]

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Chris McClellan,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

[@Shad0wC0mpany2]

Thank you so much! I can’t explain how much I needed this... This was just like an answered prayer! To everyone reading these comments, you are never alone. We are all in this together and we will get through this!

[@theelevennineteen1222]

Wow. Every single thing said here applies to my last relationship. My ex even tried to claim I was a narcissist.

[@lakendramontgomery5826]

My ex told his parents that I was watching these videos to learn how to become a better narcissists. He was enraged when no one would believe his stories and accusations. God bless everyone who has survived this and I'm saying a special prayer for those of you who are currently going through this 🙏🏽 ❤️

[@diningroomfish5470]

Yup mine said the same thing, everything I say to her,she says back to me

[@Mookiezbadazmach]

That was so powerful Steph, absolute brillient how u broke the whole thing down and how the narcs succeed through enablers through sympathy card and how the dysfunction actually runs in the family. You are Amazing Steph. Thank you.

[@meagankerr4140]

yep .. said I was crazy, used my upbringing against me

[@natureandphysics403]

Told me a physical illness I had was me manufacturing an incident to lay blame on her, and then she took credit for causing me my illness anyway, then said "you're just a loser with bad genetics."

[@kathasfaith7643]

So spot on! Thank you! I can just hear the stories he is telling people about me, especially his primary supply that he has been with for almost 40 years. Unfortunately a couple times I did the react instead of respond behavior so that twist he puts on the story will have a shred of validity. Live and learn....sometimes the hard way. I have me back and that's what matters most! So sad, too bad, bye bye tell your stories to someone who cares and God help them!!!

[@davescott9062]

Oh my God! This is exactly what happened to me, step by step! This makes me feel so much better, thank you so much for making this video! Mind blown.

[@susanficenec1633]

" you're no better than me, you're no better than me". When I stepped up and stepped out to do work for the a not for profit and won state awards. He was angry when HE could not have a baby and I could! I learned to not care what he said; and he said plenty. I am thankful he never spent time with our kids. I gave up arguing after trying to make things better by standing my ground and trying not to be walked on or abused so I quit trying to change things and just kept my mouth shut. I focused on my kids and am glad I did. We do heal

[@TheKrazyRedShow]

what blew me away was not only everything you say is on point complete with blatant lies but my narc is sound healer and life coach. They literally make their living lying to people about how in tune they are in and can heal people. It's sickening.

[@brianboyd5910]

"Looking at and listening to your voice. Is pure music"!!!

[@geauxtigers2714]

Stephanie, you have changed my life and many others, more positively then I can ever explain. Just signed my final divorce papers yesterday and I’d been in a dark place until about 2 weeks ago. I found your videos and life improves just a little more each day, and that’s all I can ask for and it’s all because of you!

[@brightlights9615]

Geaux Tigers , Keep up the good work! Congrats on your signing...it's tough but you did it! Things will keep getting better slowly with time and healing. Lots of self care because there can be lots of grieving involved in a divorce even if it's for the best. Big hugs. I went through mine 2 years ago. Xoxo best wishes

[@ry4n315]

This is so unreal how spot on you are; how what you're saying is exactly what I lived through.

[@mochabeauty09]

I love you!...you worded and hit every circumstance on the head. I recently just gone thru this and I just know in my gut this is the way he relayed it back to his family & friends. As time moves on, I'm so fortunate to be out of a toxic situation and can see clearly now from birds eye view who I was really giving my heart too. Lesson Learned! Thank you!🙏

[@christel1434]

You have literally described my life right now. And I want to thank you for helping me get through this!

[@eaglespy72]

CONTACT EAGLE SPY ON Whatsapp : Whatsapp :[phone] to help you too. I am here to talk about my Experience, we were married for about 10 years. we were so in love and so close to Each other and we were blessed with 4 kids, we struggled so much to Make money in the early stages of our marriage, finally God blessed my husband with a very good job with lucrative offers. Few months after, i started noticing some changes on his acts, it was a struggle for him to do so many things in the family, he cared less for the kids, the most annoying of it he started to keep late nights and sometimes not even come home. i was so curious and really worried with this attitude of his, so i was forced to look for a way to get into his phone to really see what he does, Someone referred me to a phone spying company EAGLE SPY, they are simply Amazing they were able to clone his phone for me and provided the password to all his phone and Social media in few hours , i have access to both deleted and incoming messages then i found out my husband has Been keeping a family aside from i and my kid, it was really Sad and disastrous for The few weeks after i knew the reasons for his depression but trust me i live very fine and happy with my kids now. you can contact him on ( Whatsapp :[phone] ) to help you spy on your narcissist spouse or abuse now to have evidence on them.......]]

[@jessicape2275]

Thank you for this ...this is exactly what im experiencing right now ...its good to know im not the "crazy" one

[@michaellangley7205]

Wow! A beautiful and compassionate woman. I'm pushing 70 Steph and thanks for assuring me and giving me hope for the future.

[@812irishblue]

You are the absolute best life coach ever. Every word you spoke on this video was the absolute truth, which helps me make sense of a senseless situation. 🙏🙏🙏

[@Andy-mm2us]

The reason for my discard was so ludicrous that my ex started telling people that I cheated on her because it was easier than trying to explain the real reason.

[@scoesixtray2457]

At least she didn't say that the breakup was because you were "doing drugs!" 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah this actually happened & the 4 years prior to being informed about this narcissistic slander, my dumbass was believing this same lie about her ex!

[@thenewlife7588]

Narcissists are master protectionists. They tell on themselves. What they tell others about you is exactly what they were doing.

[@scoesixtray2457]

@@thenewlife7588 So true.

[@mayralopez8371]

This is exactly what I dealt with. My ex had has family to enable him! Sooo sickening bc it runs in his family!! It’s crazy and sad what we go through as their partners!

[@TheJoshGalt]

Great presentation Steph! I’m very proud of you for how successful you have become over the years! Just awesome!

[@davida.maclean2297]

Wow! Unbelievable! Nailed it!! This is my situation to a tee. All 16 mins of it. I’m blown away. Her new supply, her friends and her family (enablers!). Thank you thank you for educating me with such clarity and confirming what I thought was happening.

[@michaelbarna1840]

Wow! I can totally see my wife saying all those things to other people(especially my circle of family and friends) if I were to leave her, as if I’m the crazy one. This is kinda hard for me to hear though, because if people were to come up to me and ask why we got divorced, I would have to tell them the truth even though I would rather just not say anything because I don’t think they would believe me anyway. My wife has a lot of people in her social circle and she has done a very good job of making sure they only see a certain side of her, not the abusive side that I’ve seen these 18 years of marriage. So, I kinda feel like I would end up sounding like the narcissist.

[@lovehonesty]

Before I understood he was a narcissist or even allowed myself to research (because I thought it was an overused term), I expressed to him that I recognized that our problems began when I began standing up for myself. Thank God for your and other channels for educating us. Thank you

[@ladyvirgo9514]

Same here. My husband of 12 years just discarded me and my daughter 2 weeks ago. So cold and brutal. I hope you are doing ok. I'm still not sleeping well

[@DP-hn6rl]

This is a great video not only to help people who are still raw from their toxic entanglement but also as a future preventative because once you know how they describe the narrative of the break ups if you ever hear someone describing a break up in that fashion in the future you can cut and run before any damage is done

[@carolinesand9711]

He never truthfully apologizes ....never changes ...

[@777thewatcher]

O' My you are so right! Amazing video! I can say one thing you are right about they almost always have someone in there life that they are having either an emotional or physical affair with. I noticed that is the only time we had major problems, in our marriage. And when they have that supply that is connecting with them on an emotional level, they start to make you out to be the Villain in their story. It helps gain control over that person and when that person falls for it, they will do anything for them because they are the victim! I have watched other guys buying her gifts and supporting her every need. I have watched this play out 3 times now in a 20 year marriage. These are very broken individuals who most likely had childhood trauma in their life, that they have not dealt with. OR they have a family member who has done the same behavior and that's what they know to do, to get attention and get their needs met in physical goods or just getting everything taken care of in their life. They want the respect of kings/queens and the accountability of a toddler. I still believe they could get help and past their issues and become a better person, BUT that takes coming to grip with the trauma and dealing with it. That is the hard part when their whole lives all they do is run and blame others.

[@crsh2007]

Mine has burned so many bridges with his family (as an alcoholic) that I’m not sure they would believe anything he told them about me, especially if the story is true that he hasn’t been hiding his new supply from them - we’re still married while he’s off gallivanting with her 🙄 Even if they did believe him, it wouldn’t matter. I know my truth, and God knows my truth, and anyone who really knows ME, knows my truth.

[@sheilascuncio3425]

This is spot on!! Love how you truly understand, exactly what I went thru. Great advice....learn to not act how the narcissist describes you. Great video!!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Sheshe3 S,you are too pretty to be with a narccisst!

[@no89lan3]

Absolutely what just happened to me, you are on point. I felt I grew as a person but my narcissist NEVER changed.

[@markmark2469]

You hit the nail on the head with your analysis! Thanks! Can't believe I fell for a narcissist!

[@4swzb]

Be gentle with yourself...they are very good at making you feel so special in their lives....it was a very slow but steady winning of your heart....which in the end gets discarded ruthlessly.....I have empathy for such sad lost minds....and until the experience did not even know such personalities plagued our world.....

[@qianahightower1127]

You literally summed up the toxic 5yr on & off again connection with my ex. Last weekend he did this very thing & I responded out of character because I just couldn't believe he lied & I allowed myself to be manipulated. It literally unfolded before my eyes and I was so upset and hurt. Such a painful experience. I'm sure he spins the truth. You have literally described our exact situation. God help me this hurts. I have not been okay. Thank you for sharing this.

[@sugrandspyce]

Wow wow wow. This gave me so much clarity. Spot on!!

[@rickhammar1636]

I had a big long story typed out until you got to the point about it ending abruptly. This video is spot on I hope anyone still going through this crap finds this video.

[@rubensalazar9619]

Thank you for putting it all into perspective. I miss my ex's parents. They love me as well and I know they did. I showed them my heart and went out of my way to do loving things for them. Not for points but because it's who I am. I'm empathetic unlike their daughter. But she is their daughter and no matter what I know they will take her side. I have told her father all along that I don't want to tell you the truth about her because it will hurt you. I hope he remember those words as I'm no longer around and as she cries her crocodile tears and plays the victim. She was awful to me. It hurt really bad. And the sad thing is I knew I had to walk away from somebody I loved but I didn't understand what was going on and now I do. I walked away from somebody that didn't love me at all. Kicking myself for loving somebody like that. All the things I caught her doing and the lies she would tell. I guess it just took a while for my mind to believe what my heart already knew. But I think they know the truth about her and after 2 years I'm not going to even say goodbye to them. I told her just before no contact that my revenge is not to tell anybody about her, who she really is, but allow her to live her life the way she does. That is my smile on the inside as I move on. The next guy up had better learn as quickly as I did and pay attention to the signs. Thank you for these videos they help.

[@adamfriedman2866]

I am thankful for the enlightenment that you share, it's helping me understand & perceive what's been happening over the years. No matter how bad it is, I'd rather believe the truth rather than a lie. Thank you stephanie.

[@jeradpittman2734]

Very well explained! The worst thing you can do to a narcissist is stand your ground speak your truth, Know Who You Are get your power back and simply tell them no more! That is how I became my ex narcs worst enemy! And how I saw her true mask finally come off and it was a nightmare for a while especially since I have a daughter with her. But in the long run it is for the best they feel no remorse they really look at people in their lives as possessions and objects it's truly sad, and seriously thank you for the good work you do!

[@laurenh4198]

You have been a GodSend to me, I listen to your videos on my way to work. I had so many why's in my recent seperation and you have guided me to peace and a understanding. Thank you!

[@noname_biggame3108]

Literally happened to me she hurt me so bad I completely lost it.. I should’ve known she would do anything to me when I saw how she treated her father once..can’t believe I got caught slipping like that I loved her and that’s why I have trust issues now and I just lock up. I don’t understand how someone can pretend to love you that much only to cut you that deep. I never saw it coming thought everything was good then one day she just makes my heart sink into my stomach this is also in the middle of me suffering the loss of my Aunt and youngest sister to cancer so I was already a total mess. Dating is a wash in this day and age

[@searchbulletseo]

Thank you explaining this. I went through a 5 year marriage wondering what was going on with my ex-wife. You've described her to a tee! Now I understand why we got divorced.

[@sabrinapetersen5358]

As a victim of narcissisric Abuse and lies you will learn from all of your mistakes and make sure that this never happens again 😢

[@camstatik]

I was with one for about 3 years. Horrible experience; terrible person. He was all of the above and of course, in the end, me being the only one who ever worked...paying for everything.....Trying my best, he had broken 2 bedroom doors, the back door, punched holes in walls, broke my dishes, destroyed my kitchen island, stole from me, beat me, choked me, broke my nose.....IT WAS ALL MY FAULT? circle the flying monkeys, gaslighting, blame shifting, you name it. In the end he had already moved on and had been moving on (several times) with another woman. The he did the same to her, go figure. I am glad he is out of my life. Forever.

[@yummybubblecake7303]

Thank you for this.

[@Yeathattravis]

This is crazy my girlfriend cheated on me for the last year and I looked crazy af asking her not to disappear in the night and blame it on drinking. Everything you’ve mentioned has been part of our last few arguments 🤯

[@empowermentthroughtrials6673]

This is an amazing video! TOTALLY on key! Feels good to have others back up how your marriage was! I am finally becoming brave enough to share my story on my youtube page. Thank you!

[@paitenshipp7935]

This video is saving my life right now. So glad I found it. Intense gratitude.