How to Understand Why Narcissists Develop Hostility Towards You

Ever wondered why a narcissist who initially liked you suddenly can't stand you?
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[@AlexWhiteUkraine]

Two more types of personalities that narcissists hate: the one who tells the truth and the one who exposes narcissists for who they really are.

[@ReRe_642]

I did both.

[@Houseitch]

They’re basically A holes!😊

[@ruthtavarez8302]

It's sounds to me like the POLITICIANS government around the world.

[@dfinite1111]

YUH!!! That’s me and I trigger narcissists everywhere I go!

[@Positivevibes6238]

Yes,agree.

[@Wildchile]

Being hated by a narcissist is basically proof you’re extra cool 💗

[@aquariusalldayeveryday4483]

True dat! ❤

[@cinderellatalaei]

Best comment on here

[@GordonPavilion]

You win the internet today!

[@opticalman6417]

your light energy their dark

[@michignamymichigan]

​. I get your english. It wants me to translate it.

[@stillerseas5985]

The more a narcissist hates me, the more that I know that I’m doing something right.

[@DonnaPiaVocci]

Yep!

[@JavierBonillaC]

Go get him Jack.

[@DJRenee]

Interesting

[@GODSGrace555]

AMEN AMEN AMEN

[@johnmcmillan59]

They know you're doing it right and that's what they hate.

[@steadypace1262]

Narcissists hate people that try to make them accountable for all the inappropriate words and actions they do. If you expose a narcissist for the fake person they are you will become their number one enemy.

[@resilient8788]

You nailed it. They are their own karma. No need to expose them as it will only be flipped back (gaslite/ blameshifted). As they age, they only get worse, lose their looks, can't hold up their mask, self reflect, etc.. so they eventually end life alone. Sad, but no excuse for the abuse. Also, most people with npd also have drug or alcohol issues. It's their way of self soothing their own internal misery, which only makes it worse for others. Took me forever to get his squatter self out of my home. Even with eviction papers, he drug it out for 5 months. He won't ever hoover this woman, I'm finished.

[@steadypace1262]

@@resilient8788 Thanks, yes narcissists are all the same nothing but trouble, the more you do for them the more they hate you.🤷‍♀️

[@steadypace1262]

@user-vl6xt2rt7p Yes not a good idea to expose the scoundrel, it just gives them an excuse to be a bigger narcissist.👹

[@ElephantInTheRoom777]

yes 👍 they always got a plan B lined up for when they try to destroy you. Someone said to get away silently, I agree.

[@ElephantInTheRoom777]

@@steadypace1262 they secretly are in competition with you. They want your gifts but then get jealous of your kindness because they don’t have it in them. They are hollow shells and i believe in demon possession after I saw my ex become a completely different person in the blink of an eye.

[@miker4430]

Being hated by a narcissistic means that your confidence and empathy balance is correct

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

Not really. They need someone to destroy and have fun ruining others, like a cat they keep mice around for playing with. The people they keep on the narcissist DL are the enablers. Cluelessly in a Cult of one.

[@RippleDrop.]

nicely put

[@deletewindoze]

You could be hated for another reason, because doing better than them will hurt their fragile ego, and their criticism just rolls off your back. So who cares what you, the narcissist, think.

[@miker4430]

@@deletewindoze it’s good to care, but once these energy and life suckers are revealed, out of sight and mind. I don’t wish them bad but their being this way is punishment all by itself. Karma is an okay thing

[@deletewindoze]

@@miker4430 Right, they are their own worst enemy.

[@DeedeeLisha]

It's true, they want to break you down because they envy you for being authentic and real.

[@valiizajames925]

Sad But True

[@cathyswaney5080]

Yet they walk around talking about how “real” they are. Boy, they sure do a lot of talking, don’t they? 😄

[@DeedeeLisha]

@cathyswaney5080 if you can walk it l8ke you talk it's OK. The liars should keep quiet as they're sneaky anyway

[@leeboriack8054]

Narcissists are easily threatened by people, who like themselves, liked by others, talented, smart or intuitively kind. Because you remind them of what they are not.

[@NN-re7cy]

🎯

[@andiincali.4663]

Spot on.

[@valiizajames925]

That crazy...they can't see you add value to the relationship!

[@jakeballou5147]

People who like themselves are usually called narcissist..

[@jakeballou5147]

Everyone in these comments think they understand something that they really don't. Everyone in these comments sounds like a narcissist while talking down to them.

[@donaldsayers7257]

Starting to feel like there are way more narcassists out here than a lot of people think. People literally just out here trying to destroy people's lives for no reason at all.

[@fainitesbarley2245]

There are lots of people with high narcissist traits or a narcissistic style who aren’t true narcissist’s though. That’s what I thought I was dealing with for a while. In the end it was quite shocking to have accept this friend was actually the real deal.

[@Yehoshuasministries]

No ShXT!!....

[@PM-vd2fs]

I can't get my head round how so many people will defend the narcissist when the true victim starts telling the truth etc. All the hanger ons are literally so p***** that someone has come along and disrupted everything. They will happily be nice to you and look the other way when the narcissist does what they do but as soon as you stand up for yourself and reject the bs they will turn on you and defend the narcissit to the death. I just don't get it. It's sad. For me that made me more angry than the reaction from the narcissist as that was to be expected but how others can then turn on you for no other reason than speaking the truth (not my truth but the actual truth) I don't think I could ever stand by and watch someone being bullied repeatedly. How do these people sleep at night. Another thing I found hard was the sense of guilt I had for standing up for myself after over 15 years of abuse. My emotions went from being ultra angry at what I went through and the injustice but then would worry about what I had done by speaking up etc and actually felt guilty and still do from time to time almost 2 years later.

[@lindaallotey6257]

By their fruits ye shall know them, if they show narcissistic tendencies and behaviors I’m not pampering them they are straight narcissists, true very very few empaths out here, more narcissists and psychopaths, empaths are one or 2 in a whole generation of kids so to speak

[@asnark7115]

About one in 15, 20. Not rare at all.

[@sabrinapetersen5358]

Narcissists hate the truth about themselves because they can't face their own reality of their own behavior and actions! And that they hate you because you can!🤥😔

[@ltv7268]

Narcissists hate people who take responsibility and accountability because Narcissists both can't and refuse to do so

[@NFSMAN50]

They see you as a challenge, they hate you, because they want to be you, they are jealous and insecure about their own shortcomings, and they see you thriving, happy and enjoying your time in life and are doing good, it makes them mad, and they try to one-up you and try to make themselves superior, but they ultimately fail.

[@nexult5733]

You know how true you are! Amazing! They are always trying to clone the everything you are, that they are not!

[@generationalcursebreaker5397]

Yes so true

[@rosebeauty700]

True 😂

[@hhsg11]

Mine did that, we had fallen out and I was sitting in the kitchen with my headphones on watching a KZbin video and laughing my head off. He came in and started an argument, unknown to me he was recording me shouting back at him then played it back smirking. I started secretly recording him until he had the money to buy my share of the house, by the time I left I had 135 of his rants, rages and threats and gave them to the Police. He’s now on the national database, if he starts it again with another woman and she reports him, he’s TOAST, I will make sure I’m the first witness called. 👍

[@fjj310]

The more insecure and unconfident someone is, the more the narcissist likes it because such person is easy to control. This control boosts the narc ego and confidence at the expense of the low self-esteem person. Most important thing is to be assertive with these people.

[@Atreidez]

Especially assertive in what you do not accept in behaviour... can't believe how fast they look for an exit plan.

[@amethystfeathers7324]

The absolute opposite was true of my narc husband. He hates me because he couldn't control me, ever. He's just tried to come back after 15 years of divorce. He will NEVER win with me and I tell him the truth about his behaviour.

[@positiveMindset665]

Golden words!

[@msingh9634]

I hope I never experience another narcissist in my life. They are energy vampires.

[@cl9826]

The depression lifted almost as soon as I got away

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

RUN LIKE a MOTHER

[@isaackihoro5396]

It's true they are energy vampires 🧛‍♀️

[@Frip36]

They're often intelligent and entertaining. So maybe don't keep them out of your life. Just keep them at a distance.

[@clincpb8903]

Bad advice@@Frip36

[@brianrozcicha4014]

There is nothing better than liking a video about why people dislike you.

[@anne-louisegoldie]

😂

[@SB4E.2]

😂

[@melodienaber3238]

Nice 😆

[@hellbentholland1008]

😅💯💥

[@annacanale9780]

BECAUSE YOU ARE EVERYTHING THAT THEY ARE NOT AND COULD NEVER BE!

[@jakeballou5147]

You sound like a narcissist

[@jakeballou5147]

How special are you ?

[@annacanale9780]

@@jakeballou5147 I am as special as God makes me to be! So yes I am extremely special!!

[@attackhelicoptercat]

one of the kinds of people narcissists hate are people who are individualistic, thinks for themself, and has boundaries.

[@Prlvrboi1]

The narcissist hates and loves you because they need your energy to survive.

[@ladyvirgo013]

I could always feel a level of resentment from my husband of 12 years but never understood it until recently

[@ReRe_642]

He was jealous of you think about it.

[@ladyvirgo013]

@@ReRe_642 that's sad,I always thought we were on the same team but he was against me

[@vmwilliams9198]

Please say you severed and burned all connections to your ex & those connected to him.

[@ladyvirgo013]

@vmwilliams9198 he discarded me and I've gone silent

[@Swiss-s4b]

@@ladyvirgo013Please know you are not alone in that experience♥️ It’s really sad when your spouse or friend is competing against you. It’s difficult to process that. One never gets satisfactory answers to that, always asking “but why?” Why would they see me as an enemy and subtly wish me ill :( :(

[@mikeykpe6123]

Thank you . I am male. I lost everything I had worked for at 47. She took 75% and I gave it to her. I was so done and empty. I needed to go. I didn't think of my ex wife as a narcissist until my dear sister told me so. I was actually shocked. So then I really had to think about it. Yeah. You are right. It's a hard road.

[@melinaowen2668]

You are not alone my friend

[@mikeykpe6123]

@@melinaowen2668 Indeed. Men and women can be narcissist. It's often not their fault. But they are dangerous. We can only learn to be better.👍♥️🌻

[@mikeykpe6123]

Thank you. It's not a war between men or women. It's a belief that one must take all. If you look around, it's politics too. It's life and we can only grow from it and become wiser and better people.

[@mindbodysoleil]

Bam! Spot on. I was raised by a narcissist, so I know how to spar with them. I had to learn after many years to disengage, and that seems to be the thing that gets me slammed with their passive aggressive wrath. The more you stand in confidence, the worse it gets. Let them spin out; it’s fun to watch. They can’t argue with my integrity.

[@rachellemccraw5510]

It really is fun to watch. Sometimes I laugh so much to myself on the inside that it comes out.

[@northsideyanks]

I was also raised by a Narcissist. But she also has Anxiety and Bi Polar issues. So I don't know if she can help herself.

[@bohotumbleweed8319]

Integrity is the God's gift. Truthfulness will set you free.

[@bohotumbleweed8319]

@@Mms4117 I call it " worm fying " .

[@easycharlie6739]

My late father in a nutshell. 😂

[@tommycoyote3258]

6:45 let the narcissist know you've grown a pair." 😂 Perfect.

[@suzannethepatriot8049]

I am the reason a couple of narcissists quit their job. They were relentless and made the atmosphere unbearable for all. They did know that I am stubborn and was NOT going to put up with their crap. Ahhhh! We are all happier working now that those people are gone. 😊

[@shelchel9168]

Can relate to this. I was a people pleaser, bowing down to whatever they wanted and believing everything they said which led to me making choices that had a negative impact on my life. When I did this they were constantly asking me to spend time with them and I just agreed, being easily manipulated and feeling awful after every meeting or interaction. Now, through working on myself, I’ve taken back my own life and the invites are pretty much zero now. I’m better for it and I’m proud too of how far I’ve come. Thank you for your videos, they’ve helped me on my journey.

[@GODSGrace555]

GOD Bless you

[@debbievoss3496]

However, sometimes they attack when you stand up to them. Ever been mauled by one. Much safer to go grey rock & slip away.

[@shelchel9168]

@@debbievoss3496 Thanks for your reply! That’s essentially what I did. It’s impossible for me to not have some kind of contact but I’m limiting it where I didn’t before. It’s been hard because of who they are and how they’re linked to me, but I’m doing it. When there is contact and they say something (now I make sure I’m never alone with them) I either counter it with the truth - which the other people present see is correct and have actually agreed with - or I walk away. The person is less likely to say something awful back or make a scene when there are others there, and it’s far better to have witnesses because there have been situations where I’ve been alone, relayed the incident to someone and they’ve not believed me. The more I do it, the easier it’s getting. I’ve also been working on not taking what they say as truth and internalising it, that’s been another big part of this whole journey! Thank you for your comment again because you have helped me reflect further on it.

[@michignamymichigan]

They are afraid someone will notice the contrast between them and you, the beautiful, kind and caring person.

[@arigold3333]

My narcissistic mother is a fair weather fan. Conditional love, if things are going great for me they’re there but as soon as some adversity comes around, they throw me under the bus, gaslight, and backstab me to the many flying monkeys in my family. It’s so difficult to think they have changed when times are good and then boom they turn into demons in a split second. It’s so hurtful and difficult not react to their lack of empathy and lack of love and understanding 😩

[@januszdworak4780]

It feels like it was about my life. :) After I got married, my wife brought another narcissist to my life, her younger sister.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

That's my mother, too.

[@lans2226]

My mom too but today I have finally decided to cut her completely in my life.

[@vee5694]

Wow that same thing happened to me. Really showed me her true colors and the mask came off

[@andrewsmith3257]

Agreed

[@andy.hello.6602]

Feeling like walking on egg shells is a sign of narssissim.

[@cathyswaney5080]

After 16 years, my feet hurt! 😆

[@chellotrevino7323]

To continue to walk on them is a sign of being a punk lil b*****

[@chellotrevino7323]

@@cathyswaney5080glad it happened to you YOU COULDNT FIGHT BACK BECAUSE ???? your a punk oh Alr 😂

[@fionataylor4269]

So true ,and that's why they love the discard to hit your confidence. Narcissists are sad, pathetic people deep down. Great video !

[@discopotato675]

My ex resented the fact I was so positive and saw the "silver lining," in situations... And the boundaries I finally put up 6 months in didn't bode well

[@c.6812]

Dealt with 2 women at a job for many years who were like this. I was young and naive and stayed in that environment entirely too long, it ended up making me very sick. They attacked me for every single thing, one came to my doorway one day and told me she was jealous of me. Imagine being 50 something and saying that to a 20 something at your job unprovoked? Jealous of what? That I got a job and worked there same as her? I didn't know what to say. I was happy, healthy and comfortable when I started there and left sick and depressed. Women in offices can just be so extremely toxic for no reason at all, it's just a job, a way to survive.. I'm not there to cauddle adults. I just left as soon as I could.

[@emmabrooker166]

When they recognise you’re not like them, they go on the attack. Them = right, You = wrong To the extent they don’t want you to exist.

[@PS-nv2qp]

Or maybe YOU are the narcissist

[@mariasophialopez9249]

@@PS-nv2qp Sounds like a nerve hit a narcissist :(

[@PS-nv2qp]

@mariasophialopez9249 maybe, but only one of us is an idiot believing she can't be a narcissist

[@mariasophialopez9249]

@@PS-nv2qp HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

[@divinegoddess386]

​@@PS-nv2qpExplain how you got narcissism out of the OP comment because I don't see it.

[@SweepDailyWin]

This was a life changing video for me tonight. 9 months no contact w abusive natc mother and sister. .. I am the person that is empathetic, kind, been through so much, I will never tolerate abuse from them. Mentally I have buried them both and trying to rebuild my life.

[@kurthanke5788]

That's awesome. Good for you. I am the same way with my sister. The one good thing is, that she lives over 800 miles away lol

[@amberinthemist7912]

I had the same combo of narcs in my life, mom and older sister, it made it seem like there was no escape. So cruel how they'd work together to control me. Now sis is cut off and mom had Alzheimers and isn't capable of abuse anymore. It's like getting a brand new life handed to you. Now I've just got to figure out how to live.

[@AnnAndNala]

I have a narc mother-sister duo as well. I stopped all contact with them about 5 years ago when I finally, kindly stated my boundaries to them. They went ballistic and it was the best thing that ever happened for me. Am rebuilding my life now the right way, without the evil bit**** in it. I feel so free now, but it takes a process of literally deprogramming oneself from a lifetime of abuse with them. Sending you love and light in your journey forward.

[@sharonmarsh3728]

Do that. Keep away from them!

[@famouskate9071]

Me, too, same with my mother, finally, at 64 and two previous 'no contacts" which failed because I gave in, I am done. She is 86 and STILL wants to hurt me! She has accidentally let it slip that she wishes she could be more like me and when visiting, would be surprised that my phone rang so much and complain that no on ever called HER.

[@elliot9828]

This video is absolutely spot-on. In my situation, yep, I wanted to be the rescuer to a woman who seemed to have been treated harshly by life..and while I was like this, and while I put her first, I could do no wrong in her eyes. But the longer I was with her, the more I began to see through it, and I began to suspect I was only wanted while I fawned after her and reinforced her belief in being a victim. As soon as I tried to properly help her by showing where she was accountable in it all and also when I started to assert boundaries and expressed my needs..it all did a 360, the shaming and devaluing began, the circular arguments became routine, projection, gaslighting..and then I was discarded.. ..then surprise surprise, the hoovering began, time after time, for more than a year after the break up..pulling me in, then spitting me back out. Vying for attention, yet never showing any interest in me. Again, as soon as I stopped reacting, she disappeared.. To be treated this way by somebody who you naively thought was ‘the one’, is completely soul destroying.. But this video helps me see that to be discarded by a narcissist is actually, in some ways, a compliment to our personalities..

[@allieeverett9017]

Lovely insight...thank you!

[@Carlos72797]

Not a personality trait, but narcissists hate smart people. The narcissist needs to be perceived as the smartest person. (Don’t confuse confidence with competence. Dunning Kruger effect.)

[@jaanaprall9961]

Feeling that hatred and cruelty from someone I thought loved me has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but I am now starting to realize the "why" behind the behavior which has been helpful to healing. Thank you for this clear explanation. Your videos have been very helpful in the process of understanding what has happened and working on healing and moving forward.

[@littlelamb7890]

Being hated because you’ve overcome a lot REALLY hit home with me; still blows mind how those that have more than I hated my guts once they learned of the obstacles I’ve overcome…. BLOWS … MY … MIND

[@timorthelame1]

Your triumphs over tragedy dwarf their own, and they feel threatened or bested by it. This causes them to resent you.

[@angieholt736]

Thank you for your dedication to bring awareness to Narcissistic abuse. Keep up the great work. ♥️♥️

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

ditto 🙏❤️

[@MonicaGunderson]

Lol..... So this is why they got so pissed off when I let them know they can be comfortable with being authentic around me. As soon as I said the word, "authentic", it was like the world fell apart in their eyes...... Took it as a threat. I was like, "Whoooah.... Woah."

[@cmondevils]

They hate people who see through there bs and have called them out. Anybody who doesn't submit. My father is a raging narc

[@Brummiebythesea]

Yes 100 💯 I have had 2 narc relationships and can see them a mile away ! In co workers and family members! I also have all 6 of the traits but I’m so much more wiser now to the toxic narcs in the world 👍

[@freshmanjeans]

Yep😂 with their goofy selves

[@dmark2639]

Finally explains why my 20 year marriage blew up. I was married to an abusive covert narcissist and couldn't understand her behavior when i finally started standing up for myself and my boundaries. It also explains why I struggle to find deep relationships with people in today's highly narcissistic society...

[@aldelgado9343]

I was broken down as a child i became very cold and bitter but very emphatic towards others pain, now that ive realize that i cannot change people im more aware if my surroundings and treat people as for who they are.

[@lesleyhumphreysjones5957]

A woman latched onto me when she moved here and she made my life hell, stole my friends took over different arrangements in my life and left me out of any plans for social gatherings, at first phoning me to see where I was and who with, complaining if I didn't include her. Complete nightmare. When I broke away from her she complained VERY LOUDLY. I never ever want to see this witch ever again.

[@hhsg11]

Like the movie Single White Female. I had a couple of them, one drank herself to death and the other got so stressed she ended up with a severe nervous system condition.

[@genxx2724]

Hijacking friends.

[@1truthseeking8]

Seems like a biological tendency among women as a "base level" ..then it just depends on upbringing and chronic nutritional deficiency and social acceptance of behavior

[@freshmanjeans]

😂😂😂 witch

[@nexovec]

I want to have a guess before I watch this. I think a narcissist will hate people who are objectively better than them(in ways the narcissist perceives as meaningful), or those who refuse to play their game.

[@RC-eb5hq]

Took decades for me to realize that they can tell I see through them and they resent it

[@brg2743]

They do resent it. It is a compliment to you if they dislike you.

[@truthh8597]

@@brg2743*dislike

[@famouskate9071]

This describes why my mother has always hated me! What a great podcast. She describes my personality expertly and explains why the narcissist hates it. Makes perfect sense now!

[@margaret934able]

Yes same here😢

[@famouskate9071]

@@margaret934able This proves that we're both totally awesome!!!

[@solomonkudus6747]

Of course narcissist will hate you for no reason because they don't even love themselves they think you are better than them

[@Evilmindy12]

I was raised by a covert narcissist, and It’s disheartening to know my mother decided to dislike her own child. I would love nothing more than to have a solid relationship, but it’s not worth all my healing. I hope both my mom and sibling heal before life passes them by, they’re missing out on the beauty of freedom

[@hearsayfiles]

beautifully said, 100%

[@JamieDobbs-gu8mj]

I was also raised by a narcissist mother

[@JamieDobbs-gu8mj]

How do I start at in my recovery and being raised by narcissistic mother

[@Evilmindy12]

@@JamieDobbs-gu8mj I started with educating myself on dysfunctional families, roles and where I fit in that family. I cared for me like I was a child, having conversations with myself and doing some of my favorite things I did when I was a child. Journaling, working out, anything in the arts, meditation, listen to others stories about being the scapegoat all helped. Getting to know you is the most important part of healing ❤️‍🩹. Sending you so much love ✨.

[@bettydoughtery3920]

Bravo

[@saratemp790]

I like how you said you are portrayed as always complaining just because your bar is higher.

[@lendumore]

Both of my parents are like this. Any praise from them always came with a backhanded compliment and any of my failures come with laughter, them shaming me, and gossiping about me on social media. It’s a shame because I’ve developed massive trust issues into my adult life.

[@melodygardner]

Once you trust yourself, you can open your heart and maintain boundaries at the same time. No one else can control that relationship with yourself. No external permission required, just do you. ✨

[@BobbiGail]

Wow. This just made me realize that I am glad my Covert narc mother doesn't use social media. I cant even imagine... thanks for the insight. 😮❤

[@EddieJarnowski]

One thing that helped me was acceptance. It's a lose lose situation. They will never apoligize. Stop waiting for it. It won't happen. It's hard to admit but that's just who they are. We all have these dreams in our head of them coming back and saying sorry like the movies. Well this is real life. It's impossible for them to do that. Accept it. Not in a bad way. Just accept that this is a fact. Their brain is hard wired to be the most selfish (insert adjectives here) that ever lived. Stop thinking about it, think of something else and move on.

[@lendumore]

@@EddieJarnowski That’s some tough love, Eddie but I needed to hear it just like you said it. Thanks bro 👍

[@EddieJarnowski]

@@lendumore no problem i'm glad i can help in any way. I studied it for a long time. Our bodies operate in 2 ways. Chemical and electrical. Every time our bodies exchange chemicals a very small electric charge is created. That's why we can touch a car battery of 12 volts. Our resistance is about 42 volts i think. I did a deep dive into stress and concluded that what i thought about was creating these bad chemicals in my body because our body has the ability to do that. Changing what you think about can potentially create different chemicals and actualy make you feel motivated and energetic instead of using our energy to feel terrible. It's the same amount of energy expended in the end. Those are just my findings and i like to investigate things. The paths your brain forms get easier to go down the more you think about them. Never give up the struggle. Seek and you shall find.

[@mariposa1933]

My narcissistic sister goes around telling people she is my narcissistic mothers favorite like its a prize. I’m the empath and saw this as her trying to take digs in the most public way possible in the past and was humiliated for some odd reason….but then one day I blurted out “I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR YOU IF YOU ARE HER FAVORITE. THERE IS NO FOMO”. (Fear of missing out) Pure crickets! Mic dropped! 🎤😄

[@Feinrizulwur]

Typical slander. Good indication on a narcissist.

[@kaimar83]

Do you know the reason why your sister became a narcissist?

[@sarahdean6441]

Makes so much sense, my x husband used to say to me "I love you but I hate you" now I understand. Married for 14 years, 2 children, divorce, 11 years of chronic illness, unravelling the abuse and now healing. A long journey but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like a different, empowered woman.

[@Wanda711]

The "having overcome adversity" point really resonated. My husband and I have 3 kids with autism, and for years life was very, very hard. But in the last 4 years or so, things have gotten much better. One son is in a group home and is doing wonderfully, much of the stress was lifted, we were finally able to fix the damage to our house - we were actually happy! And that coincided with an increase in constant needling by my narcissist sister, until we had a confrontation 2.5 years ago and I went no contact with her. I never realized until now that the pressure from her increased as our home situation improved, but now I think they might have been connected, even if she wasn't conscious of it either.

[@SBassett1944]

Thank you for this. You have helped me see my traits as a self confident, giving individual who cannot be easily manipulated. There is a narcissist in our building who hates me. Wow! You are so right about this person. Thank you again, so much.❤

[@januszdworak4780]

Well. I needed this information. I was somewhat aware of most of it, but it is always good to have someone lay it down in an organized manner. From my childhood I have been under despotic control of a close family member. My wife brought her controller to our marriage. We were both victims of our families. My controller had always a panic attack if I became successful in any way. I put everyone on edge after I emigrated to the United States. When I was waiting for the work visa for three months, I obliged my wife and children not to tell anyone. When I let both families know two days before my departure, it was like dropping a grenade in the middle of a room. They started moving with the speed of light to sabotage my plans. It was too late. :) :) :) I knew nothing about narcissism back then, but I had good male intuition and a great guardian angel that advised me to conceal my future. It is not the end of the story, but I should stop now.

[@vintage6346]

You told a great short story! My mother-in-law always sabotaged every plan I made for myself. She always found a way to "insert" herself into every occassion, meal out, or gathering. My (now ex) husband would not fix any boundaries, nor would he keep our plans secret from her. After a while... what marriage?

[@drebugsita]

Wow congratulations! Especially impressive given you didn’t know yet about narcissism. I also know I can’t share my good news/plans with my sister or mom without the risk of facing a backlash and/or sabotage. It’s sad but essential to accept it

[@Mainecoon_Izzy]

Narcissist are always jealous…when they know people are noticeably ‘smarter’, ‘prettier’ better in general, all the way around, better than they are. I grew up with a few, I learned early, how to deal with these people. They’re not hard to ‘figure out’ anymore. I actually like to “mess” with a few family members who are narcissistic… once in a while 😁

[@Brummiebythesea]

Very true 👍I can see straight through them now I’ve had 2 narc relationships and have co workers and family members 😂they think we are stupid not to see who they really are 😂

[@BLACKWOLF-1911]

Narcissists don't like anyone that figured them out. They move on to gullible targets that they can get over on. That's why they don't have any relationships that last very long, once their found out they move on.

[@Truthseeker0926]

My daughter is the Narcissist in my life and she told me that she hates me but shows me even more.

[@virtualmorality]

They hate calm logic. Especially when they bait you and you roll right past it. Like walking away from an explosion whilst puttng your sunglasses on. Being nice to someone who is an asshole is the only way you can make them suffer. The whole time they hate your guts, think your so stupid you don't realize they don't even like you. Whole time I'm just watching them squirm. Wish them well and roll out smiling.

[@shielsy1]

My mother is a covert narc she has all our family and the wider community fooled apart from me, and she hates the fact that I know who she really is, her 'pillar of the community' doesn't fool me one bit, always the victim and always triangulating siblings against each other, she pitted my brother and myself against each other from the very start which is quite sad.

[@teresestopka2577]

I have a narc daughter. I cried many tears. Realised my ex is also a narc. I am so glad that I am on my own.

[@sunshinejenny777]

Good one! I always wondered why my ex hated me! I kept thinking "I am not your enemy." But in his thinking, I was. It feels better to be away and free than to be despised for 27 years.

[@juliegarthwaiteclark168]

OMG I am all these things. My narc husband must really be irritated by me and he doesn't even know why. He even blames me that he is so irritated. I am just a happy person. It is OK to be happy!!

[@HughJC]

Brilliant, 100% right, having lived with a text book narcissist wife for 25 years, she hated the fact "I needed no one" in her words, btw that was her way of insulting me.

[@lonniebaines1720]

THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU MAKE THEM HAVE TO USE COMMON SENSE.....AND KEEP THINGS SIMPLE....THEY HATE IT.....

[@steadypace1262]

True. Narcissists don't do the obvious it's too simple for them they like to complicate things or go the long way around. They don't talk straight.

[@johnjosiah8839]

Knowing the truth I know I should move on & be by myself 💯❤

[@gingerrivas5354]

Authentic is the worst for them

[@amethystfeathers7324]

I was assertive and confident when I met my narc husband. I think he thought I was a competition he'd eventually win.

[@davidmorrison1086]

Many thanks, may your inner light continues to shine girl. Very well said❤

[@elipotter369]

My narcissist friend got very uncomfortable because she discovered when i stayed with her that i was neater, more hygenic (with food & cleaning), not a heavy drinker & wore better quality clothes etc etc - i didn't have to say anything. I was so polite, but me being a perfect & lady like house guest infuriated her. Up until i stayed, she had gotten away with pretending to be an upper middle class British lady. I did everything i could to make her comfortable, & keep the stay pleasant, but she hated & bullied & harassed me & crossed boundaries- even after i left (managed to finally escape), so i terminated the friendship.

[@BobbiGail]

7:10 this is sad... 😢 but it makes sense as to why trying harder and harder to connect or even to just not annoy them does NOT work. I never considered myself a threat. I feel small.

[@gramab]

Thank you.Putting forward for people who are not in a man women connection.Just being a person who has chosen not to entertain the. Madness of the mentally disturbed.People have no idea.🎉

[@daniellehall9679]

Do exactly what they want you to do and they won't hate you, but will treat you like their doormat; put up boundaries and reject their brainwashing attempts and they will despise you. It up to you to choose between being disrespected or hated.

[@GodsChosenMekAmoR]

It definitely was a love/hate relationship. He would act like he was so impressed in awe of me but had a secret disdain or resentment towards me. This was because I didn't need him. I chose to spend my life with him. I left 3 years ago and he still hates and loves me. Tries to be friends but I put him on NO CONTACT as soon as I left and found out what he truly was.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

You were the substitute mother, a representative of the primary caregiver he both loved and hated....laugh

[@GodsChosenMekAmoR]

@@melisentiapheiffer3034 you are def speaking the truth. I felt this when I first met them but because he does so many back-handed compliments I was thrown off. He would always try to say I'm like his mother when I am not like his mother but then to him I am. Also, because he played the no one ever loved me, I've had a hard life card I did not care for his mother from jump because I thought she hurt him. He acted like he didn't like her and guess who he lived with after I left him...HIS MOTHER, lol. He would play me against her too. They are all a bunch of enablers and I'm so thankful I am NOT in the family. It was a blessing to leave them to themselves. I hate that my kids have some of the genes but then I try to celebrate whatever is good.

[@brightpage1020]

People that get along well with others Or make money Are upwardly mobile Are generous Are caring Are friendly They need you but it makes them hate themselves more for it. They feel competitive and shamed by your success, therefore deeply angry or jealous toward you. You have a comfort level with joy. Like it’s part of who you are. “How could you?” They might think, offended and aspirational at the same time, without being inspired instead or challenged to improve their own attitude or status.

[@d.c.9854]

This is the greatest narcissist exposing channel in history!!! Where have you been all my life?!! 😄I've spent decades being utterly confused and disheartened by so many of these gaslighting tactics. NO MORE!

[@conniecostello3072]

You said several things that really caused a light to shine in my head. You used the words "manipulation" and "control," as the major goals of the narcissist. And then you said that the narcissist is always saying, "Please see me as a victim." I have heard many people talk about this, but somehow suddenly I understand the person with whom I am dealing. Yes, manipulation and control are first. And he must be a victim at all times. Thank you.

[@positiveMindset665]

Damn! Didn’t realise what exactly she meant until I read your message. Thank you so much!!!!!

[@chadfletcher1681]

Their capacity of deception, dishonesty, unfaithfulness and cruelty is unbelievable, I was so nervous around my so called partner, I am a male and a lot bigger physically, but she scared me, she didn’t rage, but would get silent and have a vacant stare, I called it silent rage, I knew when this happened, I was in for big trouble, I went no contact, but she continues to harass me, even though she is cheating and being with others, but we all grow stronger, stay strong, never look back

[@cathyswaney5080]

Thank you so much for this video. I’m really struggling with the “how?” and “why?” almost 2 months after a 16 year relationship & started overthinking & getting really sad & then this popped up in my feed & it nailed everything that’s going on, as if you were talking directly to me. Then after reading the comments, I felt less alone but also sad that there are sooo many of us going through the same thing! Keep these informative yet uplifting coming! We all need to heal & believe that this is happening to us for a reason, because something better, something meant to be, is waiting for us. 😊

[@sds6303]

My ex narc (who I believe also has borderline personality disorder), is a closeted gay woman and she would project her insecurities out on to me. She told me that over time she would resent me to the point of hate. She was jealous that I have a supportive family, she doesn’t, I’m comfortable with who I am & she isn’t. It’s why over time she’d make excuses for us not to get together when we used to spend a lot of time together. I would always tell her that I don’t deserve to be punished because she’s insecure. She’d refuse to get back into therapy to work on herself. She would always lie about everything. She was very aware of her behavior & how she treated me.

[@EddieJarnowski]

The problem is, i called it out, i was sick of it, now everyone is against me. Even though they know i'm right.

[@hughlindsay540]

Because the narcissist lied to them about you. Twisted all the lies she had told and the whole family believed their lies. They are blinded by the gaslighting.

[@ilovetosingx3]

@@hughlindsay540😢💔

[@648ak]

It’s very difficult.. when the narcissist has triggered you into acting crazy and all people see that but not their actions..

[@Hypericum23]

I love this,my daughter says Im the strongest person she knows, my daughters are themost important women in my life.❤❤

[@CBONITA333]

What you described is exactly what I experienced from a former boss. Even the way she complimented my skills was eerily foreboding. I ended it by walking out after she attacked me through a narcissistic employee, whom she kept calling the entire day to carry out various assaults upon me and my work. It was so bad the patient was intuitive enough to step in mid-abuse and stand up for me.

[@nikkibenz7187]

oh my this woman is a carismatic genius , the way she breaks this craziness down is nothing short of a gift from God, so thankful I found this site, I try to watch her as often as possible especially the narcissis stuff and the respond dont react!! Anyway she was really dead on with my 3 sisters, im the youngest but am still an older woman, Im the only female veteran in my military family of twin brothers , my sisters and I have about 20 years in between us up to my oldest sister, what really hit home watching this is that when i was alot younger and naive, my sisters treated me like gold, but now that I can truly see thru their fake personas they have totally turned on me, the hatred came out of left field, a shock! and was so harsh i had to cut them off totally which is and was extremely hurtful because I looked up to them and still love them but dont like them one bit, they talk about me like a dog, lie to my one brother about me and he just believes whatever they say and have never once asked me my side, hes a narcissist too very stuck up, they are all narcissist, but i do have another brother that is a kinder narcissist, he just is in love with himself but doesnt try to hurt me, except to tell me they pick onme because im weak, but im far from weak, he also told me that my ring leader sister has been a liar since she was a child, i was too young to know that about her but like Ms. Stephanie said she was crazy about me until i saw her for who she really is. Im a natural people person and never meet a stranger, im outgoing fun, loyal an really care about others, it took me many years to see my worth because of the subtle put downs all my life, i speak my mind and want the same done to me, but they live behind dark mask and look down on others if theyre not wealthy or dressed in what their idea of being dressed up in is its pretty pathethic and im so glad im not like them, i love to be creative in my dress and my whole out look and their soooo boring like they have boards up their backsides, they cant relax or enjoy things, uptight!! I will never forget how one sister came to visit with her grandson way before i cut them off and she got jealous because the baby wanted to be around me so much, because I got on the floor to play wih him, children love that and I love them, we took him to chuckie cheese, but were only there 10min because she started tripping, she was ready to go to go buy some stupid curtains, she is so self absorbed, i was so upset because i could see on his face how disappointed he was , he only got to play a few videos, any way thats alot of my story, i will pray for all going thru this type of thing and if you can pray for me to forget and move on with my life, its appreciated! Oh and thx and thx to Ms. Stephanie.

[@jtvloggin]

Wow, this video was incredibly validating and puts into perspective that I really am not crazy.

[@katedowning5100]

I’ve learnt a lot about narcissism over the past few years, and now you’ve just placed the cherry 🍒 on top of the cake - thanks, Stephanie x

[@woodbrassandglass]

If someone finds out you're watching these videos and has a full out temper tantrum, they might be a narcissist!

[@vee5694]

😂 They dont want you to know the games they play

[@jannamartens9806]

Yes I’m very comfortable in my own skin and confident yes I have a glow about me of happiness . This is interesting to know .I’m all about boundaries love setting boundaries it’s a healthy thing to do . I didn’t used to do this .

[@BCHODOSH01]

Thanks for a very informative video. You always do an outstanding job of communicating the topic you are bringing to us. Take care.❤

[@munequa81]

I remember hearing that a narcissist that I kicked out of my life hated me because I was confident.

[@freshmanjeans]

Wow

[@JavierBonillaC]

Narcissists have a special view of the universe: it’s called “double standard”.

[@ilovetosingx3]

I’m not a narcissist God .

[@mistiblu9133]

I'm convinced my partner of ten years has always hated me.. it's all making sense now! I'm truly blown away by this video and information 😳🧐 This man has Spent ten years trying to water me down and trying to turn me into somebody that I'm not keeping his narrative so that I will listen to him so bad things will stop happening 🙄

[@yvonnes7412]

Yes, as I started to see patterns and learn, I started to get more confident and assertive and hold boundaries. His rages just got worse until the end of the marriage. He hated it. My experience definitely fits this. I still have some healing to go and learning about boundaries etc…

[@walkingwithAbraham]

Its really interesting how good this chanel is. Thank you for adding good knowledge to my healing. One thing that I want is to work on myself, not just blame the narcicist. Instead I want to grow within

[@joelevans6387]

Truth, I have all these traits. This is why I never meet them. I filter these traits out and women who are narcissistic avoid me like the plague…. Good stuff. Forwarding to a friend who needs to watch this.

[@johnjosiah8839]

Fear of being harmed & no trust ‼️

[@McD-j5r]

My narcissist daughter left me alone when I started to be objective and assertive. The king years stepping in egg shells are gone. I am being very confident exposing whatever in public or not. I am feeling in peace now and enjoying my life. It took a real long time to decide to put a boundary in there because I always knew that would be the end of any contact. The fact she is strong in her life now, liberated me as a mother. Life has perspective to me now.

[@Jeanninecomeau]

I love this video. I've watched it several times. This explains a lot. Shine on beautiful people.

[@maravilloso002]

Yep everybody likes you a lot w/o you even having to try to get them to b/c everything that makes you stand out is genuine and authentic.

[@mayolasbones6831]

Your understanding is very good. Thank you.

[@damienwelch9067]

Comfortable in own skin

[@carlacochran8721]

Your sessions have helped me so much to realize it is not about me it is about their insecurities. I have set boundaries but it is hard because some I love is involved and I don’t want to hurt them. THANK YOU.

[@damienwelch9067]

Enforce boundaries

[@capeletscareers8104]

Perfect summary of personally traits that dismantle the ego of narcissists. Thank you.