5 GUARANTEED Ways to Emotionally DETACH From A Man!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you receive the peace and love you deserve ❤ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉 www.loveafterheartbreak.com. This book will lead you to find peace and happiness in your life.

[@ritawalu8882]

How can I speak to you?

[@AmahreTheRose]

Yesss! To all points made. Very sound advice and wisdom. ❤

[@user-ro1hw5tr7u]

Amen. Brilliant, I would go back MANYYYY times and I realize now it was because I was over the anger stage and am very forgiving in general so I often forget the nightmare they put me through in the interest of forgiveness, then I'd reach out like the not smart person I was to an absolute abuser who I nearly lost my entire mental capacity and had to seek therapy for and this was just a situationship. It's so hard to process at times the amount of time, years of my life I wasted. I was blamed in the end when I made my final exit. I never looked back. These videos help me understand what was happening. Super grateful cause when you're in it, you're blind. You just want peace and love so you settle for unhealthy toxicity cause it looks normal until you leave, get healthy and look back. SMH

[@user-ro1hw5tr7u]

@@ritawalu8882 same question here!

[@cheburrell3989]

I appreciate this message, my brother

[@fosterjanine5112]

Don't waste your feelings on someone who doesn't value you!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You're absolutely right!

[@endearing1119]

@@hearttoheart518 I’m there with you it’s hard when you gave it your all, but as Stephen said never regret being a good woman to the wrong man . Im having faith if this is what I’m capable of loving the wrong one imagine how beautiful it will be to feel love with the right one !

[@gertaqilla7795]

They would had no chance to not value me, if I valued myself enough for to get so bad attached to them..... Who values herself, doesn't have time and doesn t create " opportunities" for the under appreciate-ors.....She would be happy either with herself only or with a man who appreciates and doesn t want to leave her go away from his left side of his chest.The problem are not them, but the non respect and ignoring of the real voice who whispers DON'T from the begining🤗.

[@estherkoroma531]

Indeed

[@ruthcarris2554]

I'm so stupid I keep doing this again thank you guys

[@shawdeejay5408]

It really sucks when you didn’t even want to walk away but they gave you no other choice . Currently trying to detach from the love of my life who had eyes for others . Have to love myself first ❤

[@zhamaiyawright8018]

Me too

[@sallyyanne]

Me too hun we can do it ❤ I’m always here for you

[@deepDarrkdeepDarrk]

Stay strong babe! You're worth it. ☆♡

[@sibongilekubheka5134]

Gosh 😔 same

[@sallyyanne]

@@sibongilekubheka5134 you’ll be ok darling hang in there ❤️

[@cmarie_tv]

Just coming to terms with forgiving myself for allowing the mistreatment for so long. Healing is so necessary! ❤

[@latoyageorge5743]

I'm with you on this same boat! What are some things you are doing to heal?

[@dr.jenniferma3914]

This is a hard one. For some reason we beat ourselves up for the mistreatment we allowed.

[@cmarie_tv]

@@latoyageorge5743 Lately I have been just allowing myself to feel my feelings. Whatever that might be in that moment. Also, I’m on a journey to relearn myself so I am exploring new hobbies and interests. I am heavy on the self care and “dating” myself. This person was in my life for almost a decade so I am creating a new life without them in it. I must say each day gets a little easier so I want to encourage you to hang in there. I am finding that this side of the breakup brings much more peace and less anxiety. I have been longing for that. I hope this helps! ❤️

[@cmarie_tv]

@@dr.jenniferma3914 Yes. I think it may be because when I shared the details with people that cared about me, their responses came with a little bit of unintentional judgement.

[@latoyageorge5743]

@@cmarie_tv it's only been a week for me but I will say I do feel a sense of peace along with the natural feeling of the pain that comes along. At first I didn't know what life would be life moving forward until I looked at my girls and told them we're going to start traveling and that is what I look forward to daily and I know God has someone better that will love me unconditionally and not treat me like I have been treated. Wish we could chat more!

[@nanali7245]

Not only am I heartbroken but I'm embarrassed & feel like a fool for telling my family & friends HE IS SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON

[@KaylaRogers-u1f]

I'm going through that right now

[@jinsepiphany]

😢 same

[@yvonnemagliocco8507]

I understand. Same here. After 6-yrs. 😪💔

[@rehanab6829]

This is me right now. humiliated and broken

[@Powerful_Akoth]

Don’t be. That’s what he made you believe he was. You got nothing to do with it❤.

[@katharden5806]

Distraction helps me. I went to the beach, watched an amazing sunset last night, danced all night to live music and met some new people. Live your life and don't sit at home feeling sorry for yourself.

[@Maelu-op9gf]

True. Love that.

[@brittneyshort4196]

I think that's what I do more going to find other income to keep my mind off of one certain person

[@Badhippy]

Remind yourself he ain’t worth it. A guy who doesn’t value you doesn’t deserve your heart. You know it’s true girl 🙌🙌love yourself more🫶Your man is still out there somewhere…AND IT ISN’T HIM!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@pinayabroad6564]

True

[@AP-mz5tb]

Yes, but many will never meet him.

[@mercynzomo2122]

May God give us the grace

[@nikkilong7377]

Umm okay I get it. I hear you. Don't yell at me 🤣 🤣

[@clarissal8256]

The heart wants what it wants and it can be very unfortunate. It's horrible when your mind is convinced that he is the one when he isn't.

[@tiheshakp]

Yes gaaaawwwwddd!!!

[@accordingtoantoinette5658]

Whew I got a broken heart being single! (Where they do that at?) We were Neva together but I prayed n labored before the throne of God bc I thought I heard God say he was the one. I asked so many times- fasted n prayed n thought the answer was YES! I waisted so much time waiting, praying, n believing but the door neva opened. (Btw he thought I was the one too). So I recently asked AGAIN while fasting n the answer was actually no. 😢 💔I wish him well but it’s harder to let go bc he wasn’t raggedy n I saw myself having a future with him glorifying God together. Welp if he was possibly a counterfeit- then Boaz is right around the corner 🙏🏾😌

[@SimplyNobel]

@@accordingtoantoinette5658 I'm sorry that it didn't work out with the man who you thought was the one 🙁 Was it a long distance connection? How long were you dating him for?

[@SimplyNobel]

@@accordingtoantoinette5658 I hope you don't mind me saying this but your story gives me a bit of hope. I developed strong feelings for a Christian man who I met via KZbin 4.5 months ago. We always knew it was a long shot, not only does he live in America and I live in New Zealand, but he's Christian and I'm not (I consider myself to be spiritual but not religious). Anyway just after Christmas he let me know that there were some developments with a Catholic woman he started talking to online (I knew he was searching for ideally a Christian wife but I was still dumbfounded because I had no idea he was talking to her for over 2 weeks). Anyway she suggested that he try intentional dating. He said goodbye for now to me while he intentionally pursues her. He wants to do right by God and her. It was a difficult decision for him! Never say never but I am in the process of moving on from him but won't close the door on him completely. It may be a case of right person, wrong time 🤷‍♀️ Am letting go now though. I know this needed to happen for me to also strengthen and grow as a woman 🙂 I'm sure we will still stay in touch as casual friends if it doesn't work out, but given the distance... I will avoid investing so much time in to him and treat it as platonic. Only open my heart to him again if we ever meet in person and it feels right. Hard to know from a distance but he was an exceptionally good one of a kind man with a good heart and good intentions 🙂 I say your story gave me hope because it shows that... even though right now they may feel like they could be right for eachother. Only God knows for sure. Time will tell. Don't mind my journal entry 😂 Will probably delete this later 😋 All the best with your healing journey. If this man really isn't the one for you, it's better you know sooner rather than later and make space for the man who will one day sweep you off your feet! 💕

[@accordingtoantoinette5658]

@@SimplyNobel Yea I heard messages when a person walks out of your life…let them go. If they come back check their motives tho- make sure you’re not a rebound. I pray that God will send you your soul mate-betta half-healthy help mate n may you grow old together 💙🙏🏾

[@CJizzy819]

“Once you understand that you didn’t belong there, there’s somewhere better that you belong. Somewhere better that God wants to put you to experience the blessings he has for you.” 🎯💯 #godsblessings

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@CocoCaramel123]

I need your help 😢

[@denisemedina92]

❤❤

[@reginag.a.4187]

Need to remember this.

[@AdrienneMoore-rr9xi]

Amen ❤

[@1fancychik4God]

You cannot control someone else’s heart; they go where they want to go

[@ms.fabulous2555]

I think journaling helps significantly because it’s like a mirror of your life and it can remind us the DETAILS about something that is TOXIC!

[@lh6784]

You are absolutely right. I am actually journaling now in an attempt to get over a guy I loved dearly but he just was not for me. It helps writing down the reasons things just could not work. There is something about seeing things in black and white on paper that brings things home.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@ashleypettigrew3108]

Definitely agree

[@jesterb0mb89bruh6]

I used to journal/write songs to expell certain emotions, but because of how messy my mind is, I basically don't anymore...I've shown some of what we wrote about to a couple ppl, and idk if it helps or not...either way I agree with what Stephan said, which is why I've been alot more distant with relationships because I feel like it'll just stress someone else out

[@jesterb0mb89bruh6]

@@lh6784 an ex-friend told me writing in blue helps to retain it to memory

[@anitaspeetos-ty3pt]

Sometimes being hurt makes you stronger and God is with you no matter the outcome

[@catchcourtcourt]

I make myself a video. I cry, I talk it out. Once I realize I’m over them I go back and watch it to remind myself how much he wasn’t worth it

[@jeanettaphillips1366]

I do the same thing 😢

[@dyanfranklin42]

I do same

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

What do u say in the video. I may do this myself.

[@mzyouknow618]

thats a great idea!

[@SC-hr4vj]

I do voice clips and play it back 😢

[@eireannmcg1135]

Walking away is never easy…I terribly miss this person but have come to realize that it was toxic and I wasn’t being treated like I should of been. I have to continuously refer to the list of all the bad things that happened in order to remind myself of the pain I suffered!

[@HappyWorkinMom]

Me too! I felt so full when I was with them but I am realizing the love I attached wasn’t what was reciprocated. The truth hurts but save your real love fir so who can really love you back.❤❤❤🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@jlady1595]

No reciprocation with my ex. I have to remind myself, of all the things he did to hurt me, on a daily basis.

[@Flufero23]

How true that is. I know the feeling.

[@lastjob2011]

Five months ago, I FINALLY walked away. Then went on journey to discover WHY I took so much disrespect. Lots of tears, lots of healing. Childhood stuff I'd never dealt with. It made me FINALLY realize my worth, and that he is not worthy of me. Bonus: prayer answered - to be delivered from fornication. To God be the glory!

[@Cal_me_lady1]

Exactly

[@joyjemmott6278]

I need this progress rn😅 I'm happy for you

[@NishaCarolynn-dd2im]

Happy for you!! I walked away today. And I'm crying like hell. Dealing with a person who treats me so bad but I love him more than I think. It's painful.

[@Milioem]

You weren’t worthy of him due to your unresolved trauma. Probably could’ve worked if you weren’t an obstacle to yourself.

[@lastjob2011]

@@Milioem it's so sad little people with small minds just leave hateful comments. It must suck to be you, huh?

[@matriceharris7039]

I am going through this now. So I really needed to hear this message . It’s time for me to let go of him and finally accept that it is really over now. It’s time for me to heal .

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Healing is definitely key and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏

[@ecaldwell9]

Why are you holding on Matrice - if u don’t mind me asking? I’m in a similar situation as well. I’m having hope about it, because I see his layers of pain. This is the core of why he keeps missing the mark. And the Christian in me is pulled to help him.

[@KristinAndre1717]

Me too. Prayers for you and us ❤

[@ecaldwell9]

@@KristinAndre1717 🙂

[@Paydro.m-wife]

@@ecaldwell9how is it going 9 months later?

[@azadeyaghubi2609]

I'm ashamed for being a fool, not just heart broken...I was naive😔

[@estherphillip]

me too...just being a fool knowing I shouldn't hurts more than the heartbreak. 😢

[@stephanied4066]

Me too and I am a lot older than you!!!!

[@voulafisentzidis8830]

Please forgive yourselves. It's far better to not presume that every new acquaintance has questionable motives.

[@FrancesElam-ep4wf]

I gave this man thousands of dollars I met him when he was on an offshore drilling rig we began to correspond through texting he sent me a picture of himself he said his wife is deceased and he has at that time his son was 13 years old and finally he started calling me Mom and I was promised the Moon I was promised that the three of us would get together and be a little family and time goes on he keeps asking me for money and I foolishly send it to him through Bitcoin can you imagine and two months ago I felt something in my gut and he started with drawing from the texting and started making excuses that he was busy his phone was missing he was on the street and didn't have any money and could I send him money for a phone and money for his food and internet so I did but keep in mind people this guy in the beginning told me he was a millionaire and that he had a hard time getting access to his bank I believed him can you imagine and anyway his picture is on the internet under the name of Steven s

[@FrancesElam-ep4wf]

​

[@RuthieWilsonMedia]

Take away points -Heal from your past; it might be from ones background. -Focus on purpose and progress. -Give to God; which is the most important. Great lessons🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@ashcatwilliams877]

Just walked away from a toxic relationship!! Thank you Lord for giving me the strength too!!

[@KittyHendrix3]

Staying single is the healthy choice for me.

[@cammac2753]

Same. People can be so disappointing, it's best for me to just stay single

[@AG-iu9lv]

Yes.

[@erikainthesky]

i keep reminding myself every day that he doesn't even like me.... anyone who lies to me, leads me on for over a year and plays me does NOT deserve me no matter how much i love him. this shit hurts

[@theap6044]

"Missing the feeling and not the person" so very true. Great video

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[@theap6044]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks 🙂💙 You're very welcome.

[@rachelsobie_22]

Wow, I never thought about it, but this statement is so true. It’s the death of a dream.

[@HaloHuntress]

13:28 Exactly my situation. He grew on me and I learned to love him. So when he left me, I was shocked because he wasn't even what I wanted at first.

[@Yikkoofficial]

💯

[@Cooniez]

Agree with the "distractions" part. You can't be busy 100% of the time, so eventually you have to be still and sit with/process those feelings. What DID work for me (which is a type of being 'busy') is working on my health and fitness. It's only been a month of working out twice a week and already I'm seeing changes in my body, but most of all, I'm feeling better about myself and not getting stuck ruminating or feeling sad over someone who didn't deserve me to begin with. He kept showing me who he was, but I didn't want to believe him. Finally, I had had enough and realized I needed to care about ME more and I walked away. Wishing anyone going through this pain {hugs} and good vibes. 💓 Things will get better in time. As they say, better to feel alone by yourself than feeling alone WITH someone. Don't let anyone take away your peace. Life is too short!

[@1fancychik4God]

Makes you more angry and delays the inevitable

[@MichelleFries-f5e]

Amen to this! So true!

[@carmellaconstancio]

I am trying to stay locked on Jesus, being obedient to the word, submitting my will to our Lord, praying in the Holy Spirit, using discernment through the Holy Spirit gut promptings, and when the crazy comes in my head ~ bind the thought, and give praise to the Holy Sovereign God of the universe. Brother Stephan, you are a very fine Pastoral Counselor whose guidance through your teachings is helping me heal and not waiver from God's Truth - with a spirit of Gratitude in all things. May our Lord continue to bless your anointed gifts! amen...

[@libbylife7161]

I pulled the trigger today. I listened to him. He told me he still loves his ex-wife and recently broken up with his fiancee. I told him this bothered my soul. I wished him the best this world could give him.

[@debbiesilva1011]

I prayed last night for relief from this pain. This is the message I needed to hear today. Thank you and thank God ❤

[@selenaperez2872]

Wow…So did I 😞

[@debbiesilva1011]

It’s a process but we’ll get there. I finally blocked his number this morning.

[@shanimathysi5068]

I can relate ive been begging GOD to take this pain away

[@veronicawilson9342]

Did last night as well

[@MsKimLorraine]

Even if you’re not casually sleeping with the new guy, just allowing them in your personal space is too much. Detox and Heal, period!

[@MeiMariie]

I've dealt with that before, even slept in the bed together sometime,; which was a huge mistake. Any type of physical contact or close proximity releases either dopamine or oxytocin, the chemical that is released when women breastfeed and bond with their babies. So basically, keep your distance unless you want to end up attached.

[@ambssbeth]

I’ve been struggling for almost 2 years trying to get over someone that used me as a rebound. Accepting that it is something that is hard to get over is the first realization that I had to come to terms with

[@laurajohnson2274]

I agree. Next week is 2 years for me also. This healing process takes a long time. I know it's possible to heal.

[@AK03705]

Powerful 🔥“You were set free because you did not belong” great insight you always deliver thank you 🙏🏾

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

My pleasure ❤️

[@kimsalerowe582]

@stephan speaks I have a crazy situation and need guidance please !!!!!

[@marwadarwich7101]

Truth! Sometimes it takes something so big to finally give us an escape route. We knew all along (deep down) the relatiosnhip wasn't for us but we stayed and justified it.... Stephan, this was powerful! I needed to desperately hear this today!

[@newnew-mv1uj]

So so true

[@kelseyloushin1343]

The pain of breaking away from an unhealthy relationship is far less painful than the ongoing pain of staying in it. It’s going to hurt but it’s going to help to heal and have a healthy relationship with yourself so if you chose another relationship in the future it will be a reflection of your healthier self.

[@poonamahir2554]

I NEEDED THIS TODAY!! I wish I saw this before..but lesson learnt. Done and Detached. No Contact..No Expectations..NO Disappointment!! 🙏🏽💛🔥💎🙌🏽♌️🦁

[@Foodbandit23]

I wish I had your strength

[@mcqueenXO]

​​@@ShayLove84Fam1st Are you there yet? My journey is just beginning and I could use some encouragement.😢

[@cammac2753]

​@@mcqueenXO How are you now? Blessings to you ❤

[@ShaquilaTyler-ns9tu]

Going threw it now we will get over it team leo

[@goddessoflight74]

When someone is forced out of your life there is no longer a purpose there. In retrospect, we can see the repeated patterns of it circling around. When that happens there is no growth there. Having the human experience means we must change, and we must evolve to become better. The movement should always be progression and not the weight of the world forcing you down. The letters work, talking about it works, going through the grieving process works. At the end of the day, you must do the work. Forgiveness is another huge step in detachment. Thank you for the insightful messages. Bringing us all closer to peace. ❣

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@Jen-ke3eh]

I have lost 30lbs, gone to therapy, keeping productive and it’s been over 2 months. He was an awesome man but had his own scars and I have trauma that I am now seeing a professional for. I feel like I really screwed up a good thing BUT I have to believe the right person will stay by my side. That is what I have continuously tried to tell myself. This was the first person I allowed to go this deep with me since my divorce and I have dated others. I just really have a hard time with this one but I know I’ll be better on the other side one day hopefully soon.

[@yurikocano3651]

I'm going through the exact same thing I lost a good men who loved me unconditionally. I keep hoping that he will come back.. but I know that I will just keep hurting myself if I keep wishing that he will.

[@healingandgrowing300]

I pray you both find your way back to each other when you are more healed and able to accept a good man

[@Milioem]

People don’t have to stay by your side to truly love you. Recognize you have lots of work to do that no one should have to be dragged along while you’re fixing it. That’s why people leave,!

[@elizabethmorales2033]

So many therapists out there but you’re words are sincerely honest & you speak from the heart ❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌

[@Iman-ve3il]

The final decision was today of letting go of a narcissist who never would see my value…. Thank you for this!

[@jocelleelvambuena6909]

This is so relatable right now. How are you holding up?

[@Iman-ve3il]

@@jocelleelvambuena6909 I’m so grateful to have seen the signs 2 mos in…. I was more so mad at myself for staying a month over, but I feel good and at peace. Guard your peace at all cost!

[@SharidaByars]

It hurts when you had life plans with a man who was cruel,narcissist,and verbally,physically abusive.although the love still remain in your heart while you watch them become a monster 😭💔

[@shalram9716]

I think this may have tipped the scale... there's only so many times you can chase someone who doesn't want you. Thank you for this. Your empathy really shows we're not alone

[@kimberleyann51]

He's already online dating. It's been 2 weeks. 😭 I'm devastated and mentally blocked at all the bad things. He is like a different person now. He is cold, distant, cocky... said we can still sleep together! What! This man has destroyed me mentally. I'm regretting so many things that I said. I could have handled things differently. However, he was not over his divorce when we met. I can't sleep, can't eat. I'm buying your book.

[@corinesimon9797]

A person needs time to heal not another headache I totally agree.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

[@ittybittybrina8958]

Literally sitting in my bed in tears living through this exact issue and I get this notification. I’ve gotta get this book! I’ll take “healing” for 300 Alex

[@SKR-rr9vy]

You’ll get through it. I promise!❤

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏

[@roseonasis7164]

You will be fine sis. You will win. Focus on healing, your health, and your soul. This is a sister I follow. She gives a lot of tips and also helps to keep the focus on our health and she aint on here naked. kzbin.infofPLLYP80ToM?feature=share

[@terriblue68]

😂😂😂 Awww great comeback. Thinking today you're in a different place. I pray you are ❤ I'm grateful for Stephan's videos and sound advice. We need to support one another 😊 🙏 ❤

[@ginsu_pd]

I wrote a list of things he did to me that hurt me and what I didn't like about him. I read it when I find myself conveniently forgetting how he made me feel and getting sentimental

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@KardashBeauti]

It took me 4 months of watching these videos to realize the kind of relationship I was in . It took me also a few incidents to detach from the person . I’ve never felt freer afterwards and I didn’t think I’d feel as happy and blessed as I did .

[@nanabella276]

That long? I don't think I can last 4 months.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@valentinadagramo9683]

You will, because there is no choice🙈

[@yummyyum1131]

I needed this

[@trishabackman9219]

This is my first day of no contact. We were together 3 years, and have been separated almost a week. 💔 This video has helped me so much!! Thank you.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@charisselewis5401]

Today will be my first day of no contact after 20 years.

[@nikkicole2952]

@@charisselewis5401Hope u are well and living your best life💕20yrs is like forever because i know i feel like my 6yrs was a lot😥

[@cynthiawalcott7356]

When you're emotional detached, for me it's easier to let go.A new relationship will have it place and in time. Healing is a process for you and for the one's that will be apart of your life in the future. A peace ao mind, spirit, and soul is the key. Happiness 😊

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@newnew-mv1uj]

Amen

[@cynthiawalcott7356]

@Stephan Speaks Thank you for opening up the conversation 🙏 we as the people, whether you are a man or a woman, have so much on our hearts and minds to share. Thanks for the platform 🙌 🙏

[@kimerickson55]

After losing my husband to cancer 4 years ago, I see breaking up in a new light. For me now, it's like going through the grieving process...you have to heal, to do the work & eventually, with God's help, you finally become whole again. Thanks for this, Stephan!

[@kmartin1550]

I just said this to my friend. I said whoever created the quote to get over a person is to get under another was dead wrong. I can’t even muster interest in someone else right now, and it’s been a year now for me.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@ParkMusic1]

My father rejected me from the day I was born because he thought that I was not his child and I was a more tan color baby so he rejected me. At age 50 my father apologized for rejecting me and for treating me so unkind. Fast forward to my current age of 57 on my 3rd divorce I finally confirmed that my father is the reason I choose terrible narcissistic men. For the first time in my life I feel set free. I’m on the road of healing and staying single. Definitely seeking God. Thank you for your service and videos. Blessing

[@ParkMusic1]

Just fyi i confirmed that he is my real father

[@ShondaD_]

The problem was that all my traumas from childhood was still affecting my life and I caused the relationship to become toxic. I was shutting down, not talking to him and was so negative to not only him, but myself as well. I had to leave to get myself together 😢 but I don’t regret it, I needed to to get myself help.

[@mrsshelton226]

I've been where you were. I'm realizing I was doing the same thing because of my childhood. I'm in the process of getting out of this relationship for good. It's not helpful to my healing.

[@ShondaD_]

@mrsshelton226 And for you to acknowledge that you must heal will definitely help as well. It will be a tough journey, but it's worth it.

[@dstone4983]

Just received this on my lunch break. This is happening to me right now. Thank you for this inspiration!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@shannonharris8206]

I'm also going through it as well this video really helped me

[@ivelinepierre7756]

This happening to me right now,thank you very much I'm very sad i feel break

[@shannonharris8206]

Thanks Stephan this video really really helped me I went through a break up last month the person broke up with me ghosted me but your video helped me clearly see I didn't belong there I kept rewinding the video back to that part to help me move forward and know GOD has a bigger plan for me, again thank you for all the great work you do to help people through stuff like this😊

[@shannonharris8206]

@@ivelinepierre7756 it will get better GOD is with you😊

[@ayshabowling5685]

I literally have tears of gratitude in my eyes right now. Currently going through a divorce and the grief has been real. Especially since my ex has moved on with someone else. I just prayed for some kind of encouragement and your video popped up. Thank you soooo much for sharing these words of wisdom. My heart feels so encouraged right now.

[@Angelica33952]

When I 1st started this journey 2 months ago, I went straight to god to get me through this time and it led me to focus on healing and becoming my best self. One thing I remember being shown was you have to factory reset yourself and date yourself. I am very grateful for Stephen Speaks videos showing up in my algorithm. It has been a confirmation of things being shown to me. It is very enlightening to hear these things from a males perspective. ❤❤

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm glad this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to subscribe and click on the notification bell to be notified whenever I release a new video

[@Lovereems]

I’m not even going through a breakup, just watching this out of reflection. All I can say is, truly listen to this guy. Now I’m finally out of my breakup & I’m fully over my ex, these tips will elevate you in this breakup. I avoided doing these & it really made me deal with things unhealthily. I don’t regret it but I do think I could’ve used my breakup as a way to grow & learn. This is important but also time heals. Trust rhat

[@meganmeservey1649]

I’m about to leave my boyfriend of 9 years . This video is a HUGE HELP!

[@Samara077]

Thank you so much for reminding me of my worth. Too many times I’ve allowed my emotions to get the better of me. My life matters , I’m loved by God and respect isn’t negotiable.

[@shann_sellers]

Sometimes you gotta do what’s best for you. Don’t really care what anyone thinks. Take care of yourself, take care of you mental and with time you will realize you deserve better and deserve someone that will love you whole heartedly. Care for you and love you.. through the ups and the downs. If you can’t see you worth nobody else will. Remember just like they are the prize YOU ARE as well. Never forget it someone will be soooooo happy to have you in their life you gotta believe it and focus on working on YOU. If they come around then they come around but if they don’t… oh well.

[@newnew-mv1uj]

Well said

[@yvenettejean4263]

💯💯🙏🏾

[@anacasaseggert9187]

I feel spoken to. I am trying to forgive myself, so that I can break free, but I love him so deeply, I still can't picture a life without him. I never thought that pain and grief could become so acute. I have to accept, that it wasn't the right time (for me) because I had to heal and work on myself. He was the right guy. Thank you for your words.

[@jacquelinebaldwin7566]

Healing from my past and deepening my relationship with God has been key to finding the peace and love I have been seeking in all the wring places my entire life! I have been asked so many times if I am dating following my divorce 6 years ago. Initially I felt so alone and broken. It would have been easy to seek validation from another unhealthy relationship. Especially when well intentioned friends continually asked why I wasn't dating. I knew I needed to heal myself first before I ever entertained a new relationship. I now would welcome a Godly man into my life however I am also very content as is. If it is God's desire for me to be in another relationship I trust He will make it so. In the meantime I am focused on living in joy and sharing my testimony with others to help them find the healing they deserve. Thank you Stephan for your encouragement and faithfilled messages

[@reneebustos934]

This is so true …. I feel the same way ❤

[@KidsvibeLLC.]

I just lost my best friend, soulmate and my world. Im currently going through the motions. I'm devastated emotionally confused. Pray for me

[@valfortkamp4576]

Journal. Ask the scriptures for answers. Advice. Know that God is always there He knows. He feels what you feel. ❤

[@marynicole983]

Yes I am a person who gets attached easily. It's not that I can't take Break up but hard to let go and not be a friend to someone you love. Heart break is the roughest emotional feeling.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@naomiphares4263]

​@Emma-Jane Still 😊

[@AB-bc9tf]

Choosing from hurt is such an accurate assessment. My ex husband was just like my dad but I didn’t see it until the end of my marriage. Then after marriage I went for the man that was more manly and not like my dad but it still yielded unhealthy results where I ended up with the bad boy. I’m believing that this coming year God will provide me a husband.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏

[@fionam3735]

Oh wow you sound just like me. Such a shame we didn’t have decent fathers

[@AB-bc9tf]

@@fionam3735 for me I had this epiphany when my dad was staying with my now ex husband and I and my ex was being verbally abusive my dad got up and walked out of the room. As of to say “let her have it”. He didn’t say “over my dead body will you talk to my daughter like that”.

[@fionam3735]

@@AB-bc9tf I totally get that. Birds of a feather flock together and misogynistic men will stick together. Do not allow bullying of any sort you are worth so much more x

[@fionam3735]

@@AB-bc9tf I totally get that. Birds of a feather flock together and misogynistic men will stick together. Do not allow bullying of any sort you are worth so much more x

[@laurena4000]

Today, the first day of my breakup I sobbed and I prayed God to send me some help and then I found you and this video. We have two beautiful little kids and I found out last night that he’s been leading a double life and betraying and deceiving me for years and years. I didn’t know, but I knew our marriage was awful and I resolved myself to staying for the kids. You’re right, I needed to be cheated on. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this and mend the family he’s broken but videos like this and people like you will help.

[@eugenet7473]

"Missing the filling, the situation vs. missing the man himself"... so true!

[@missfavoured]

Missing the feeling

[@selflovecycle]

number 1 is facts because I got attached to the guy I was "using" to get over someone else and screwed me over in the end

[@Monalisa0622]

Thank you for this. It's what I need. I am a person that when struggling with a breakup I like to go head on with the pain. I stay home and do things I enjoy at home. I cry it out pray and spend time with God. I need to cut the ties permanently

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@TheMisssy2]

My "healing from my past" was that no one ever loved me to the depth this person did, not my parents, not my ex husband, not my family or children. I was unconditionally loved...to a POINT & I struggle to let go because that was a pure authentic feeling for both of us at the wrong time. I also know I helped him with his inner child. I really enjoyed your talk.

[@taniaarmenta3485]

Thankyou for making this video i am today 2nd day going through it 😢 i know i gotta let go of him , what i dont understand why my heart doesnt want to let him go specially when it was toxic on both ends and abusive . Please pray for me . Im seeking professional help now .thers is HOPE AND IT WILL GET BETTER ❤. LOVE YALL .

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@annajula2318]

Getting back to whatever you abandoned for the wrong relationship (i.e. dropped out of uni, training etc) is the best advice ever 💙

[@july821]

"You had to be set free, because that's not where you belonged." After doing what you said, writing down what I did not like in our relationship this phrase of yours feels so true in my case..and truth will set me free. Thank you.

[@m.77her5]

I believe my root from childhood was loosing my dad to drunk driving at the age of ten years old. My breakup was five years ago and I’m still crying over this man. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@sctc7102]

Single after 2 years from my divorced we were separated 4 before that. A 15 year marriage with lots of hurt from both. One thing the lord has kept me from is getting involved with anyone else. Especially because I still have some feelings for my X. Thank you Jesus for keeping me single during this period of healing! Thank you so much for these wise words. So helpful!

[@Julie-yz5sd]

It’s hard feeling unlovable, thank you for helping me leave him.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad I could help 🙏

[@gera0685]

I’m going through this right now. This is right on time, I see it as God helping me out. Thank you!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad I could help 🙏

[@deenelson2939]

I’m done I’ve been hurt for that last time😢 I can’t my heart can’t take it

[@Cloudborneaudio]

Caught my child’s father texting another woman calling himself her husband. I kicked him out. Now he wants to give me a ring after 7 years.. My daughter asks for him everyday. My heart💔 I can’t go back again💔

[@prettygirllocs5744]

🥺

[@Amazinglilflowers]

Let the child have her dad though ❤️

[@cassandracarrington1527]

Great advice. Sometimes emotional detachment is hard.

[@cynthiaperry7878]

Hi Stephen, I thank God for bringing you in to my life at the right time. I just started listening to you about two weeks ago. I’m a 52 year old woman that have been struggling so much in all of my relationships and have been searching for help and guidance. I was at the point that I got so depressed and blamed myself for most of my failed relationships and I came across you on KZbin. I have been listening to a lot of your topics. I must say that this is one of my favorites because I just got out of a seven year relationship. I really thought this relationship would be my last and that we would eventually get married. You and the help of God with praying has really helped me to become a stronger and wiser woman. I love the advice you give also with spiritual inspiration. Again I thank you for helping not only me but I’m sure others. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! May God keep on blessing you!!! 🙏🙏🙏😊

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much and may God bless you as well 🙏

[@cynthiaziegler6558]

I am also a 52 year old Cynthia and so many failed relationships. I just want to be in a good healthy relationship

[@sireno4170]

I'm 51. Going through another end of relationship. Let's keep in hope something better is going to happen.

[@SNIPEZONE23]

Thank you, you've freed me! 💜😊 I was getting emotionally attached to someone I wouldn't have thought I was attracted to... Turns out it's only bc he had qualities I want, he's just not the person lol

[@SKR-rr9vy]

Same

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@madamedee6621]

Just ended a 10 year relationship, it’s been an on and off thing for a year but this time I have t do what’s right for the both of us.

[@karmenmouton4971]

Crazy how you know the ship is sinking but you keep trying and it gets no better, until you deep in water and it's finally time to come up for some air, it be heart wrenching but you be proud of yourself soon enough.

[@lyndsaehunter7841]

I really really needed this. I’ve been struggling with letting go and beating myself up for it. Thank you for this positive guidance!!! 🙏🏽

[@nikkicole2952]

How are u feeling now? Hope all is well and u are living your best life💕 I’m currently going through it😥😢very fresh 4 days in..I love to hear updates😌

[@lizziesalazar5188]

..."now that you have been freed, you can now focus on your energy back on, maybe there are things that God wants you to be doing, ...focus on progress not perfection" ✔️ 🙌 😃

[@beez991]

I'm 40 single with no kids, I wish I knew this info in my 20s after my first love who I was engaged too broke my heart. I never healed. I worry now it's too late for my dreams to come true, I hope I'm wrong.i wish it didn't take this long for me to learn. I went to counselors many throughout life, but they never got down to what I'm hearing right now in this video. I hope all the broken-hearted heal🙏

[@kerrydavis1544]

This is good Stephan. We didn't even get to the dating stage and here I am mentally dwelling on him like I didn't remember the things I was hoping would change about him. Smh...not I'm trying to remind myself to resist the temptation of looking at something that reminds me of him. I think he filled a void that hasn't been filled since. So I may very much be missing the feeling not the person

[@ckl5801]

There is also something that can happen called Limerence. Try to distract yourself when those thoughts come. You can tell yourself that you will think about it later. Trying to distract yourself from thinking about this person and the ruminating is a tactic to free yourself from the prison of your mind.

[@melc2978]

I got out of a very toxic situation last month and then started making a new friend last month. At first things were just platonic, but then he started telling me he loved me last week and wanted me to be his girlfriend. I put the brakes on that situation this week. I'm still very much healing from the first situation...I can't be having another situation to heal from that is back to back. We all deserve to have healthy love. We all deserve to be respected and valued.

[@bethanymitchell8537]

I watched this entire thing, going through a horrific breakup with the person I thought was “the one”. This really comforted me. Your messages are so important ❤ I realize he could’ve been, he had everything I wanted/needed and we were together for a year and a half but it started 3 months after I broke up with a 5 year relationship (that included betrayal trauma). I wasn’t healed, of course this wasn’t gonna work. It’s a bummer and disappointing that I lost out on a great guy that I want because of my past issues that popped up in this relationship. I vow to heal from all of my past, all of it, so I can be the best version of me for the future

[@tamarasuber]

Same for me

[@tamarasuber]

I’m heartbroken

[@ahayes05]

Stephon is the best coach ever and doesn’t make you feel guilty for having feelings

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that!

[@2008LadyLaura]

I feel healed. I know because I don't want to be with someone that leaves me when I really needed him. He proved his loyalty by making other things a priority and when the going gets tough the tough got going. You see when they make everything about them once they have you, they love bomb you and that's about them too because they want you to idolize them then they treat you like crappy. No thanks

[@raffianarosemin3453]

I am going to rough patch where I thought someone I knew that loved me hurt me emotionally and physically and I am trying to let go and heal asking God to help me mentally it's hard knowing the one person you trust. But If someone really loves you they won't hurt you I'm starting my healing process🙏

[@soliegonzalezDALLASTX]

Same here is like mourning a loss but the person is alive which hurts more but I’m with you just pray about it and we will get stronger by the day. Now you will feel some days that you are okay then the next day you will it all over again but is just the process of healing

[@jenniferorozco6974]

Its been long 10 months for me since my breakup. Longing, hating and being depressed over a man who has proven time and time again I'm not worth his time and unconditional love. Dumped me in the coldest of ways and claims to be already fully over me. Who values freedom over being a Dad even. Years together and a baby together. Making it harder to detach, so heartbroken I've stayed celibate since he left us, utter broken trust. But i have to move on for good and let go of the potential and the fantasy of a family unit with him, he doesn't want it and perhaps one day I'll understand and be grateful he let us go otherwise I'll continue to waste my life. So many wounds to heal. Thank you for this message.

[@millidw8070]

Tony Gaskins, RC Blakes and Stephan have helped me become the women and mother I am today. Thank you.

[@millidw8070]

*woman

[@amyaubuchon2199]

Another wonderful video. I broke up with someone yesterday and it was a long time coming. I was trying to distract myself and I have been hating myself for missing him. I kept trying to avoid the feelings. Thank you for this. Grieving is a process.

[@user-ro1hw5tr7u]

Brilliant, I would go back MANYYYY times and I realize now it was because I was over the anger stage and am very forgiving in general so I often forget the nightmare they put me through in the interest of forgiveness, then I'd reach out like the not smart person I was to an absolute abuser who I nearly lost my entire mental capacity and had to seek therapy for and this was just a situationship. It's so hard to process at times the amount of time, years of my life I wasted. I was blamed in the end when I made my final exit. I never looked back. These videos help me understand what was happening. Super grateful cause when you're in it, you're blind. You just want peace and love so you settle for unhealthy toxicity cause it looks normal until you leave, get healthy and look back. SMH

[@newnew-mv1uj]

Truth

[@SaysJulz]

This is me!

[@dianadamcknight9902]

I was running from my emotions. It wasn't until I allowed myself to hurt and cry that I was finally able to get myself together. When I start to get those"love feelings" I tell myself why I am glad we are no longer together

[@felicitygrace5113]

I must be the small percentage of people that focuses on the negatives of why it wasnt working! I do look at the positives yet remind myself of the negatives. Regardless, letting go is hard

[@fredericawinston2416]

I am trying so hard to make better decisions. I realized the need to break free from a bad situation. This is deep seated and stems from my childhood. Healing is necessary.

[@kyrianjoseph1403]

I’m going through a breakup right now,went to a dentist appointment and I had a mental break down.I needed to hear this message.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏

[@infiniteinvestigativesolut964]

Sis, I feel you on that one. I started therapy bc I couldn't see an end to those feelings. I'm doing much better..

[@bridget02761]

I did this exact thing at my daughter's pediatrician appointment. The Dr. saw it and sent my daughter out of the room so she could listen to me counsel me. She also called to check on me the next day.

[@sharimott8225]

I hope you're okay

[@kyrianjoseph1403]

@@sharimott8225 I'm hanging in there, thanks for asking.

[@playsanuzoo]

This is true. In the moment when I decided to completely detach I felt like I was dying for a couple of months. They would reach out to me and I would not respond, despite wanting to respond. But slowly it got better, and I could see more clearly. Years later they reached out to me again, and apologized for everything they did to me. I never responded and hoped my silence spoke volumes.

[@shane-leeheynes3887]

This is such hard truths. I'm holding on to my husband going thru a divorce after a 23 yr relationship. We've become toxic and the narcassitic traits became more evident for both of us, rubbing off one another. We both lived like prisoners in our heads. We have 2 beautiful children, accomplished many success and failures indeed but communication was the biggest mistake. His non verbal and isolation aka abuse, style just made matters worse for me. I want to understand and communicate. I question why 23 years later only. Then I realize more and more it was just trauma bonding for us both. I mainly struggle to let go for the sake of my kids and save them the trauma we both endured from CEN. We must both heal n move on but, I'm not ready. God, gym and my mental state for my kids and myself, is giving me courage, strength, calmness n peace. I don't know how I'm coping and I'm not suppressing any feelings,depression etc. I acknowledge, process and pick myself up. I'm getting more and more motivational inspiration info to help me manage/cope. I love your insights Stephan.. I have hope that God will heal us and bring it together again for our kids. I don't want this for them.

[@noface3928]

Point #2 was so accurate for me when I tried distracting myself from an ex. I became physically ill and tired from all the pent up stress I was trying to avoid for months. I nearly failed out of nursing school but luckily I got therapy just in time to see everything through