Answering Your Relationship Questions! A Marriage and Family Therapist and Her Husband

[@NDObeats]

Thanks for having me on the show 😂

[@StephAnya]

Thanks for joining, Boo!

[@itzr.b3204]

What's your KZbin channel need some help creating beats

[@nikkirotundaful]

“The problem with another person being your peace is that while they’re your peace, you become their pressure.” Dang! I needed to write that down. That one hit me. It helps me finally understand Satir’s self-esteem concept in regards to how it can effect a relationship. I was having trouble wrapping my head around it just this week. This was so well timed and helps me understand my own journey ♥️

[@ZP916]

Right?? The truth of that line hit hard🥺… I’m going to start taking notes here 📝

[@ilhuicatlamatini]

That one sentence right there was major epiphany for me. Really wish I’d known this as early 20s gf 😅. Regardless, it’s still so helpful even now. I wrote it down too lol.

[@SM-zy5kv]

It’s so inspiring to see two people grow together and accept the changes as they come while being understanding with one another!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you!

[@Artandnatureloveeee]

The way he looks at her when she is explaining stuff ... gosh I wish everybody to find somebody like that for them

[@LiashaBoo]

Your hubby is such a great communicator. You'll are great together❤❤💯🥰

[@StephAnya]

He is! It’s taken work though. Thank you! ♥️

[@rmy_Youtube]

You and your hubby are the cutest!! I really enjoyed it. I vote for you two to make another couples video!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you! Will do!

[@lovelylydi5504]

Rachel Y I second that vote!!

[@chelseawilliams8588]

This is so wholesome 😢. I love the way you guys shared openly and honestly about the real challenges you’ve faced and the love is still so evident. Thanks for sharing this video.

[@StephAnya]

Thank you so much!

[@cookiesncream994]

Hi Anya! In case you happen to see this: would you consider doing a video on that emotional dependency you talked about? I realized I'm this way in my relationship and like you said, it's been creating pressure on my partner I didn't even realize. I would love to learn ways to lessen or overcome this to be a better partner. Thank you! Love your videos

[@StephAnya]

That is a great idea! Thank you!

[@cookiesncream994]

@@StephAnya Thank you for the reply! 😍🥰

[@daisyconsuelo]

I would also appreciate a video on this topic.

[@Londya]

@@StephAnya Oh my gosh, yes, this was the downfall of my last relationship. It's so cool to see that you were able to work through this and continue on in your relationship. I would love to see a video on this as well. I'm currently seeing a therapist about this and focusing on my relationship with God has been helping. I am also preparing to document this process and start a youtube channel about this within the next few weeks.

[@KeketsoN01]

I love this so much , it is so refreshing to see black love and young black love

[@uncannyxjess]

Really enjoyed the format of this relationship questions video! It's so important to hear other couples speak honestly about their experiences. It's also interesting to find out what your viewers are asking.

[@StephAnya]

Glad you enjoyed it! Picking the format can be so challenging, so thank you for that. If I'm not mistaken, I think that one of your questions was in here. If so, thanks so much for asking something!

[@uncannyxjess]

@@StephAnya Haha yes, thank you for answering! 😊 I'll be watching this again with Charles.

[@Polyglotgoddess]

Excellent!! Can you or do you have a video or recommendation about picking good friends and having good intuition about people?

[@kalki3060]

love seeing you together, your chemistry is just chef's kiss ♥️ and great advice too!!

[@StephAnya]

Aw thank you so much ♥️

[@kayrup3712]

Beautiful couple, y'all are so emotionally healthy and like minded. I think that's very important in a relationship .

[@StephAnya]

Aw thank you ♥️

[@ImKnotMyHair]

Awwww this was sooooo adorable !! I love seeing y’all connection....thanks for the video

[@StephAnya]

💓 That’s so sweet! Thank you for watching! 😘

[@RobandSijay]

Beautiful couple I can't believe I'm just seeing this. One thing I love that you two did was capture the moments in photographs, your college years, your husband putting gas in his first car for the first time. 12 years in and I'm starting to get better but I wish i had pictures from years 2-9

[@ritav793]

This is insightful as a single person. I think I have worked a lot On better communication skills. So I think I’m a lot better but I’m not sure really until I’m in a relationship with someone LOL. I know that I have gotten better in communicating with my children

[@StephAnya]

I feel like improving as a communicator in any area will bleed into other relationships. You’re right though about not fully knowing until that relationship happens. Looking forward to hearing more once you’re in a relationship!

[@yhineidy131]

Don't consider myself to be the best communicator. During my last relationship, I realized that I needed to work on my communication skills.

[@selfhealingbabe]

This was so great! I was smiling the whole time watching! Great tips!

[@jamiliahrivera5986]

Very mature conversation and even when you want to be mature sometimes pettiness arises I like your videos

[@banszkiviktoria]

He's so lucky 😊💗

[@StephAnya]

Aww thank you! I know this will sound corny, but please believe me when I say that I'm the lucky one.

[@amerisweetheart]

My favorite couple!!!! Great video!!!! Please do another video!!!!!! This was awesome!!!! 💕💕

[@StephAnya]

More to come! Thank you sooo much!

[@DADO33566]

omg it is lovely how they look at each other there is so much love awwww

[@victorianobles9938]

You both are precious

[@StephAnya]

♥️

[@pia_om]

Thank you for role modelling an honest genuine caring relationship

[@yhineidy131]

Learning about your relationship and the challenges you faced together gave me a glimpse of the type of relationship my ex and I could have built. We had a similar beginning to yours. I was in college. We were broke and carless. Once I got my car, I was the one driving to see him. Unfortunately, we didn't get the same ending as you two. BTW, you two make the cutest couple 💑 I would love to see more videos of two together.

[@MamandDamian10]

I’ve been looking for positive and educational and at the sAme time entertaining content. And I found it! You’re a breath of fresh air! Love your videos so far. Been watching a few tonight. ❤

[@singingjustice]

She is. I literally binged watched 4 of her vids. So informative. Tone of her voice is soothing and helps me to accept the things I may need to change!

[@erikajamila]

You two are adorable 🥰 thanks for sharing. I could use the advice. BTW, I love watching your videos

[@StephAnya]

Thank you so much 🤗

[@chelseawilliams8588]

Not me being immediately distracted by how lovely y’all look together. I love this!!

[@zeezy17]

Wow…this literally word for word sounds like me and my husband! We’ve been married for 5 years. We haven’t grown as much as you two but WOW we watched this together and learned so much. Thank you for this insight. It has helped more than you know ❤️ wish we found this when it came out 2 years ago!

[@StephAnya]

Aw, so happy to hear that!!

[@taliagula]

Wow you guys are so complementary. Love both of your vibes 😍

[@loa9863]

I love the way you guys look at each other when the other is speaking 😢

[@sandteedal9022]

It gives me joy to watch any happy couple.

[@wiserliving4840]

Subscribe to your husband's channel and was surprised I wasn't already because what he does is 90% of the channels I'm subscribed to do. He is amazingly talented and I love your advice.

[@daughteroftheking01]

Question: tips on accepting your partner as they are or finding a partner that you can accept completely without trying to change them

[@SM-zy5kv]

When you started taking deep breaths and cracked your neck, Steph! 😂😂 NDO’s reaction was exactly how I’d react! 😂😂

[@dummydes]

Keeping bullet points and notes with each question you both covered. So much good content from you! The peace and pressure concept 🤯 also would LOVE more of these types of videos and also the more niche topic of sex in relationships. Love your work here ❤ I truly seek out your videos/knowledge and find that when Im feeling most needful of guidance (away from my own therapist) I come here. Thank you again for creating this wonderful safe place accessible to all who seek it

[@StephAnya]

♥️ I’m so glad that this space provides guidance for you. I have 2 other Q&As like this one and would love to do more!

[@thewise2443]

the beginning was exactly why me & my x broke up, he felt smothered ! I can honestly say , I was so happy to finally have a great man and I just wanted to be around him all the time!, we've been broken up for like 3 weeks, so I just use this time to get back to me, I hope this growth period can better us as people and we get back together. I love that man, I know he loves me too.. right now, we just need time apart

[@StephAnya]

I can totally relate! Best of luck on getting back to you!

[@bananali2676]

you dont know how im thankful for this video

[@deborahrichelieu549]

I really enjoyed the video! Especially breaking down the early years of dating challenges in college to the early years of marriage! As a marriage and family therapist, I do challenge my couples also! But its a great way to spice things up! Thanks for sharing I love your videos!

[@loa9863]

I’m a new sub and I love this video. I will be saving this for when I’m in a relationship because these are great tips.

[@StephAnya]

Welcome!! Thank you :)

[@tabitas.2719]

I love what you did with the app for chores after moving in together - my husband and I had a similar experience - we just posted a paper (in foil) on the living room wall and would check things off with our initials. :) I still have my personal app to keep on top of what needs to be done next (as I struggle with executive dysfunction); but it definitely was an exercise for me to a) be less hard on myself, and be more realistic/less perfectionistic about my doings; and b) be more grateful for my partner.

[@StephAnya]

I love that! And honestly we need to start using that app again. Thank you for sharing 🫶🏽

[@cyanedavis]

Their difficulties in the beginning of their relationship was the same for me and mine

[@user-dq1ri4bd5z]

Awesome video!! So insightful 👏 And would def love a video about sex, especially when a couple has different sex drives! Thank you!!

[@egyptianlicorice844]

I had no idea you were from Georgia! I also went to Emory University :)

[@MegsWorld222]

I really enjoyed this video! ❤️

[@StephAnya]

So glad!! ♥️

[@truckingwithking3825]

Hostile venting! Excellent term

[@gregreeder4626]

You guys are beautiful! I love to see black ❤️. Great insight and advice for relationships.

[@tyronemelvin6905]

Love to see my cousins do their things.

[@bluebutterfly5062]

Beautiful couple 💗pray you guys are still going strong!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you ♥️

[@irinaifraimova4541]

You are Hollywood couple my friends and you're perfect couple with each other

[@mariawilliams4737]

Hey beautiful, am new to your channel…. Your so well spoken, beautiful and intelligent… I enjoy all your wisdom and am here to stay…. God bless your union

[@beehazel4712]

im learning a lot just from watching ur videos 🥰 thank you

[@tedroyclarke6473]

Thanks for sharing. Wonderful couple.

[@StephAnya]

Aww thank you ♥️

[@MrsMutterCourage]

Omg you two are such a beautiful couple! #couplegoals!

[@StephAnya]

Aw thank you!

[@irinaifraimova4541]

Where are you getting married to each other which country you fall in love

[@StephAnya]

United States!

[@BM0RESquare_XTherapist]

Awww this is so cool, lovely!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you! ♥️

[@gingerbarker8230]

my boy best friend asked me out and i didn’t want to ruin the friendship by saying yes and then breaking up and if i said no then we’ll that would obviously ruin it. i did like him. but i said not right now. he has stopped talking to me. like we still “talk” but not on the same level. i’ve now started to almost simp over him because i want him to want to talk to me again

[@aubreyjames8795]

Just work on your life and let it go. If he’s angry or hurt enough to end the friendship, then give him time to not feel rejected. Plus you don’t know him fully- he could be vengeful and take you back just to hurt you in return. Focus on yourself. Dati g is more than liking someone, and the butterflies. One needs a plan for the relationship.

[@omarianyabwile7302]

Lit video!

[@StephAnya]

Thanks for watching!

[@irinaifraimova4541]

What do you rate what kind of books on magazine

[@JennyoftheAK]

Such great content!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you!

[@TakidaJ]

so good more couple videos

[@StephAnya]

My favorite kind! ♥️

[@irinaifraimova4541]

How are you today my friends

[@sportsfamilytherapist]

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️

[@jennasweightlossjourney7921]

What if he says I’m his peace… and he’s very much my peace too?

[@irinaifraimova4541]

Where do you meet

[@TheMadsonblfanatic]

You guys are so cute 😍

[@GirlTawk101]

Curious if you have any advice/suggestions for how to handle this situation. I have been in a 6-year relationship and since year one my partner and I have not been able to have future-based conversations. Due to fears/trauma, they have around marriage. However, in the last two years, we have grown a lot in how we communicate and are able to speak more about the future, as it relates to engagement. My partner says that keeping me in their life is a priority for them and engagement is possible. But now I don't know if I should stay or leave because it feels like it's too little, too late. I believe they will pop the question but it doesn't feel good, to me, that we are currently where I wish we were years ago.

[@charklat]

Hmmm here's my two cents haha 😅 I definitely think this is something you should bring up to them eventually, and perhaps come to a compromise, to me it seems a bit of a waste of six years if you leave only for this reason haha. You can express why marriage is so important to you and talk it out with them

[@GirlTawk101]

@Charklat your two cents is appreciated. Other than him being more negative than myself and how differently we handle fear, not having the physical ring on my finger is my main hang up. But I know there must be some trauma in that for me I should explore

[@sallyjane8274]

Perhaps due to fears of abandonment kept you hanging in there for so long and now that they are showing more willingness things are relaxed. You don't worry about him not wanting you so you are free to consider that maybe, you didn't want to be with someone who would take so long to express that. Sometimes we are so scared to be unwanted that we hang on to someone who is not actually who we would choose if those wounds didn't exist.

[@thewise2443]

how do y'all feel about having x's as friends or opposite sex friends ?

[@stephenyates4749]

Great video awesome answers to the questions but what’s this challenging sex stuff lol

[@StephAnya]

😂 Bye, Dad!

[@rmy_Youtube]

😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️

[@casandraramirez1736]

Yes to the video about sex please! Have been enjoying your content, watching these videos with my boyfriend ✍

[@irinaifraimova4541]

Where are you from

[@SONGbyrdRYzing]

Girl, he CAHYUTE. I see you...

[@StephAnya]

Haha well of course I agree!

[@irinaifraimova4541]

Are you good cook and if you open your own restaurant do you going to have a KZbin or TV show cooking

[@martinkawaisantos7761]

How can u be contacted personally

[@jefferyjackson8644]

What is the purpose of going to therapy, when the actual therapy has been weaponized?

[@lenanayashkova]

If you guys would want to have kids at one point, it would be interesting to see how you answer the spicing up question then. I know all the classic advice on how tk do it, but maaaan is it annoying when you are actually parents of young children😄

[@StephAnya]

We’ll definitely do a follow-up. I can only imagine!

[@irinaifraimova4541]

How much kids do you want to

[@irinaifraimova4541]

Where are you born

[@irinaifraimova4541]

Praying for my Friends goods healthys Stay healthys Always healthy Blessing healthys blessings healthys goods healthys Stay healthys Always healthy Blessing jobs blessings money's blessings jobs blessings money's blessings jobs blessings money's

[@irinaifraimova4541]

Godly Christian do you go to

[@vivienleigh1361]

6 years?!?! Why did y’all date so long?

[@NDObeats]

We were in our early twenties and still in college for most of the time we were dating. We still lived with our parents saving for a home and at the time I only had a part time job and freelance. I didn’t want us to get married until I knew were in a good financial place to move immediately into our own home once we were married. And that’s what we ultimately did. If I landed my full time career job as soon as i graduated like I envisioned, best believe we would have been married 😂 but life didn’t work out that way. Had to keep grinding until I landed something but took a few years after graduating.

[@politereminder6284]

This video finally solved the mystery of why it sounds like you are mispronouncing your name. 😂. I assume this is one you got from your husband. (no shade, I mispronounce my African name all the time as an African who grew up in the US. I dunno where your name is from though. No assumptions)

[@breamoako9945]

Dammmm u married an African that’s wassup