Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions VI

Stephen doesn't always have time to go to confession, so he wants to get his feelings about Chipotle and that thing with the employees-only bathroom off his chest.
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Stephen Colbert took over as host of The Late Show on Tuesday, Sept. 8, 2015. Colbert is best known for his work as a television host, writer, actor, and producer, and best known for his charity work teaching English as a second language on Tunisian date farms. Prior to joining the CBS family -- and being officially adopted by network president Les Moonves -- Colbert helmed “The Colbert Report,” which aired nearly 1,500 episodes and required Stephen to wear nearly 1,500 different neckties. The program received two Peabody Awards, two Grammy Awards, and several unwelcome shoulder massages. It won two Emmys for Outstanding Variety Series in 2013 and 2014, both of which appear to have been lost in the move. Colbert is pronounced koʊlˈbɛər, according to Wikipedia. His understudy is William Cavanaugh, who will be hosting The Late Show approximately one third of the time. Good luck, Bill!"

[@Sreoshi123]

Gosh! I like Stephen Colbert! some of the things he's said is going to be in my to do list esp regarding the telemarketing call! Haha!

[@devlinburgess2463]

"I'm a truther, but only when it comes to 'I can't believe it's not butter'". Margarine can't melt steel beams.

[@rednovember2205]

...

[@rednovember2205]

...

[@mariokarter13]

"Sometimes I'll talk to my plants when I'm lonely and after a few drinks, well, the talking stops." Sounds like Stephen got wood two night in a row. ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

[@guyfieri2173]

He really planted some seeds.

[@comnique939]

Guy Fieri ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@mistformsquirrel]

+mariokarter13 And then spent the next night in the ER getting that wood removed... >_>

[@quangmanhtran9994]

mariokarter13 . BRUH (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@skippiescrunch]

I hope he goes all out with the food, come thanksgiving time. ooooooo can't wait.

[@noahfisch]

The hotel shampoo cracked me up!

[@223Drone]

Colbert really likes to eat during his confessions.

[@3DNETWORK]

+223Drone Was there ever a show where he HASN'T eaten anything?

[@martinaee]

+223Drone In a few years we'll need a super-cut of all the times he's eaten something and had to stop for a second because he had trouble getting it down and laughed.

[@Mihayan1]

+martinaee that will be like one and a half hour

[@saucybackport]

+223Drone target demographics eats a lot and finds food humorous

[@duckqueak]

+223Drone hes eating his feelings

[@lowlycalvin5644]

Someone should make a clip about Colbert just eating.

[@jackschmit4696]

+Calvin Weustink Montage is the word your looking for, as we have many clips you would like to see all at once.

[@PieALaMode]

compilation?

[@Mariamkh]

Damn!!! I do more than half of those things. 😂😂

[@ClockworkMan13]

I don't think you're lazy Colbert. It probably took more effort to build that crane than picking up the doughnut with your hands.

[@SeaBassVEVO]

Mind blown.

[@554466551]

Damn, the audience is ON tonight!

[@xIsamuTM]

"...Remix." Seriously, I can totally hear the spirit of his keyboard in the background.

[@asliuf]

jon batiste (presumably), being amazing in the background

[@obk20]

omg when you said chipotle i was typing chipotle in google!

[@kenek629]

It's so weird watching all of these back and noticing how some of the old confessions have been repeated/altered in the newer ones

[@deesp0]

these hit too close to home

[@catherinehogue3656]

Better than ever

[@Technatura83]

You calling me a liar? - I aint calling you a truther!

[@graem117]

These segments are a excuse to have lunch breaks during the show, we know it's true!!!

[@darkprose]

That is one Simpsonesque donut.

[@ericabramson7136]

That last confession was a play on words about having skeletons in the closet.

[@riptylglitches5694]

the man with the donut

[@cnashford2]

I love that he says he's the regional manager so he can use the Employees Only bathroom. And that makes sense that people would believe him. He's wearing a suit. Plus, he's a middle age, white male. Every time I go into Wal-Mart, the only middle age (or older) white male employees that I see are supervisors or managers.

[@Awkwardtunity]

it's like thank you notes, but better

[@lazylion420]

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO "be right back" BEFORE HE STARTS

[@Meichie228]

He does that in every confessions to "prep" himself before spilling his sins. Either that, or it's just funny to see him reopen the window.

[@lazylion420]

yeah but it feels so forced that it's like... is there some technical reason? or something they're doing on the stage we can't see? just curious.

[@girlspooptoo8567]

+cmz8706 I think it's because he wants to say that they're not really sins. Then he closes and reopens his door and gets to it Stay Gold Ponyboy

[@tidalkingv]

Because of the bad news about Chipotle, the line to the bathroom at work is definitely shorter now.

[@cnashford2]

I was like, "Ohhhhhhhh snap!" when he brought up how short Chipotle lines are now. To me, he actually gave them an endorsement because I HATED traffic and long lines.

[@daniellaviolet6207]

*likes before watches*

[@Jkoal69]

3:03 is that yeah! voice guy the same from conan o brians show the one where he interviewed eva longoria(sex doll)

[@RealEnerjak]

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I go to the bank, get one million dollars, and shred it in a wood chipper in front of homeless people.

[@Psycho3418]

3:00 Aow Aow!!

[@gigabic7487]

Steven Colbert is gonna get diabetes at this rate

[@redstonecasey4713]

Everyone needs a donut crane!

[@zeyma1998]

"One of the reasons I voted for Villanova is because they're a Catholic school, and I'm Catholic" - says pretty much every Catholic ever

[@octoberrain3513]

1:04

[@XxSkystormxX]

I live in Missouri, your house would be damn big

[@CartoonGoat]

I am going to miss homer..

[@Eowyndra]

Am I wrong or is this show becoming more and more like Jimmy Fallons? This bit reminds me so much of "Thank You Notes".

[@Massage_Meditation]

Субтитры не соответствуют звуку

[@peteregan5974]

That last one seems in poor taste considering the recent popularity of that film 'Room'.

[@MadHatter42]

+Pzuzu Plays But if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.

[@evseay9556]

Quick question which late night talk show host has the best gimmicks personally it's john Oliver for me because he founded a church

[@jasonluong3862]

I voted for Trump even though I have no idea what his policies are, what ideas he stands for, and knowing that he keeps changing his mind.

[@humanbeings303]

im beginning to despise audience

[@juliaaa1111]

+frigginburritos same.

[@SeaBassVEVO]

Also Stephen is Catholic....?

[@RichardTheRoe]

+Seabiscuit - Mhm. Of all the talk and late night shows I think Colbert is the only one that frequently talking about faith and make a big deal out of his religion.

[@Geraldmichealraj]

+Seabiscuit btw he is not the only late night host who is catholic , fallon, kimmel, conan, bill maher are from a catholic family or at least one of their parents are catholic, but i think colbert is the only practicing one though

[@RichardTheRoe]

Gerald Michealraj - Very true. There is a segment on this show, not that long ago, where Colbert and Maher discussed religion. Colbert have suggested he got a strong faith becase of the tragedy that happened to his father and brothers while he where young. :/

[@StanleyCornfield]

He was a catholic teacher at a Sunday School.

[@artofmusic303]

Why does Colbert feel compelled to continually, repeatedly, tell us he's a Catholic? It seems he manages to work it into almost every show.

[@RareTalent007]

Catholics unite

[@maddyperezstan]

lmao

[@georgerickard5509]

Audience unsure to laugh at joke verging on paedophilia.

[@Ryan_Ek2]

+George Rickard What? The rating-the-baby-a-six joke? Six for cuteness. Get your mind out of the gutter.

[@georgerickard5509]

Ryan Eakin what's wrong with a dirty mind?

[@SeaBassVEVO]

And first like

[@Qyrnth]

early early!

[@SeaBassVEVO]

First

[@luciensegurasegura3464]

Everytime I watch a video with 0 dislikes I dislike it even if I like it, am I a sinner?

[@thepenguinftw]

Wtf yes