Steven Seagal fights sitting down. He barely moves in this | So Bad It's Good #41 - Contract to Kill

Uncensored, full-length reviews ► / jasonbrant
When Steven Seagal stops giving a crap about his movies, you get CONTRACT TO KILL. He spends the majority of this 'film' sitting down, mumbling nonsensical lines. The fight scenes are almost nonexistent. This is one of the worst movies we've ever watched.
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[@Bobbypinker]

He delivers every line as if he's being injected with an incredibly powerful sedative and is moments away from nodding off.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@Ezekiel903]

this guy is surely under some form of sedative, they way he speaks, hardly audible, this are typical symptoms, we have many cases in our hospital! that's why he looks so bloated

[@jojogpt]

He was pretty comfortable delivering his lines.

[@samholdsworth420]

@@jojogpt he was pretty *high* delivering his lines

[@lenger1234]

I want what he's taking! Lol

[@Idaho278]

I had a flight instructor who had to fly Seagal on a rented private jet. Apparently he stacked his luggage around himself like a little fort and when they told him to stow it away in case of emergency, he completely seriously said “if anything goes wrong you just leave it to me.” Or something along those lines. The dude is on a whole other level.

[@JasonBrant]

That's hilarious! Oh man, this dude never ceases to amaze me.

[@floydlooney6837]

He's on something, for sure

[@joeysanchez5926]

🤣

[@northscene]

😂😂😂

[@rayromero815]

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂☠☠☠

[@flipadavis]

This line from a review explains it well: "Overall, he gives the kind of performance traditionally associated with stars who died during filming. And yet, Seagal is in almost every scene."

[@ajdoyle9559]

LOL

[@deerlord2363]

LMAO 🤣🤣 freaking hilarious and accurate!👌

[@facetiouslyinsolent8313]

The actress that played his love interest had a body double for her sex scene with that dumpster fire. Good for her!

[@JasonBrant]

Smart actress!

[@totallylooney8292]

...that poor body double. Unless it was inflatable. That's the only acceptable situation.

[@megamanxhunter]

Why did she do her body double dirty like that 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@MrT67]

The body double got paid more than the actress.

[@JDoe-gf5oz]

And it was clearly because of Seagal since she got plenty nekkid in a movie a couple of years before.

[@miraculousismyguiltypleasu9372]

"He's litterally fighting, sitting down." Seagal has reached a new low.

[@JasonBrant]

This is rock bottom.

[@eric20ike]

@@JasonBrant He can still go lower. Don’t be surprised if at some point he does a fight scene while laying in bed. :-D

[@miraculousismyguiltypleasu9372]

@@eric20ike I would *pay* to see that.

[@JasonBrant]

@@eric20ike Sadly, that wouldn't surprise me. And I'm sure we'll watch that movie, haha.

[@yvesheinrich5013]

@@eric20ike Six feet under.

[@nathansharma87]

I think the biggest problem with Steven is he stopped playing characters like 30 years ago and has been playing Steven Seagal in the same type of movies ever since.

[@JasonBrant]

Good point. He's playing a character he wishes he was.

[@minmatenx]

This is all he's got left.

[@xxuser0200]

😂😂😂😂

[@AnnWahlquist]

There you go.....

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

He's like a fanfiction gary stu come to life.

[@HarryFlashmanVC]

'Sounds like he's ad libbing' HE IS! I saw an interview where he said that he belives that scripts interfere with his 'acting' and in his movies he ad libs his lines because they are apparently 'better and more natural'... Someone tell William Shakespeare!!🤣🤣🤣

[@JasonBrant]

Jesus Christ. What an ass.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Jontron: Oh my god, Steven Seagal is such a dickhead 😆

[@walmorcarvalho2512]

Holy shit that gets even worse considering HE IS THE WRITER OF MOST OF THESE SCRIPTS! He's ad-libbing on top of shit he wrote himself!

[@doe8939]

He even dubs himself!!!

[@Circuitssmith]

“Iss pur-latinum, I goddit from the…. Faaaahnest girl I ever met….”

[@253Monty]

It's like he just had all you can eat biscuits and gravy and is fighting off a food coma

[@ErikSmith57]

You know it's a great movie, when 14 of the 20 people listed in the cast, don't have IMDB profile photos.

[@JasonBrant]

That's always a good sign.

[@Mitsoxfan]

It means when there's an open casting call for one of his movies, we all have a shot!

[@alexc6582]

Like how do his movies even get green lit lmao

[@ongkhuongduy3498]

He controls the traffic light. And Amazon prime is going to publish any trash they can get their hands on .You would be amazed of the amount of trash movie you can see on prime. My roommate and I makes a competition every week to take turn to see who can find the worst movie on prime, and we have yet to run out of shitty movie.

[@greyman6353]

Seagal should get his double chin credited as a cast member

[@aidanlastname0187]

I recommend Sniper: Special Ops. Not because it’s a good movie but because it’s one of Seagal’s worst. He never even stands up in that movie

[@JasonBrant]

Oh God. You're going to break me with these Seagal movies.

[@fmfdocbotl4358]

The body double stands up for him

[@JasonBrant]

@@fmfdocbotl4358 Oh, boy

[@deadsoon909]

It's true, he literally sits in the same chair 99 percent of the movie 😆

[@boringpencil2271]

Don’t you mean “Sniper Special Ops” (there’s no colon)

[@jonathanlane6130]

I genuinely feel bad for these poor actresses who have to feign interest. It's about one step up from a weinstein casting couch.

[@JasonBrant]

It's really horrible. He's gross.

[@princessmonicakhaira]

I’m no

[@joshuaa.c.newman7430]

It's zero steps up from a Weinstein casting couch. The dude has more rape settlements than he has self-financed movies made while living in Russia.

[@bobobsen]

They get paid well

[@HA-rl4fz]

it's not like they are forced to do it

[@ANNAKKi]

Segal is the only senior man in the world who still going through a midlife crisis and it is not getting better or ending any time soon.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

And considering his long running feud with JCVD that becomes even more obviousl. Van Damme has grown up and isn't that young, hotblooded kid anymore, but makes serious movies and even stuff that parodies his on-screen persona to a degree. Seagal is still in the mindset that he is the greatest action star in history and a master in all forms of martial art.

[@GoldenChuricken]

The film was shot in Romania, which you can tell just by the perfect Spanish/Turkish/Arab/Russian accents of the actors. What’s unfortunate is most of these actors usually put out decent to good performances in other movies, but no one escapes the Seagal effect.

[@spejic1]

Yeah, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, and Wesley Snipes have made movies in Romania and they've all been quality. Well, except _Second In Command_. But Romanians were not at fault for that one.

[@ongkhuongduy3498]

i don’t fault the guys and gals at all. Work is work. And sometime you have to work with unpleasant people to put food on the table.

[@untroubledwaters2137]

@@ongkhuongduy3498 Yes! Segal is to blame entirely-his bloated ego, his bloated body, his bloated bank account.

[@justinmacarrhur1924]

There is no arab or turkish accent in romania , unless gyspies witch are not native romanians.

[@GrumpyBearRawr]

@@ongkhuongduy3498 but that poor girl. Imagine you finally get a break and get to star in a movie but it involves getting in the sack with a fat nasty old man and praying he doesn't roll over on you.

[@turldog345]

Next movie: “Steven we need you to sit down in a chair” “Fuck that, green screen”

[@JasonBrant]

He won't even get out of bed, haha.

[@jimmymoss3240]

@@JasonBrant These days, his bed covers are probably green. You know, JUST IN CASE...

[@toxsickdog]

Producer: But Steven, We will have full catering services, including dunkin donuts.... Steven: What are We waiting for, Let's do This.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

''sit down bitch.''

[@EZ-D-FIANT]

Yea he'll just be in bed demanding the strippers come let him touch them....

[@zzzeus78]

Random Japanese here. I took aikido lessons when I was a student, and I do have a first degree black belt so I have somewhat of an experience/knowledge. Since Mr.Segal DOES have a 7 degree black belt, me and my aikido buddies used to watch his earlier movies. Putting his terrible acting to the side, we were genuinely impressed with this aikido skills. Point is, even with the acting/plot/ etc being bad, his martial art skills were real. Sadly this was more than 20 years ago when he was 50 pounds lighter and had no problems taking his shirt off. But now? Sheesh. He doesn't need aikido, all he needs to do is fall on everybody and crush them.

[@usedsweatpants799]

Seagal transcended from aikido to 7th degree diaper Sumo

[@dizzy1369]

😂🤣🤣😂

[@TheGirugamesh1000]

Well considering Aikido is fake and useless it adds zero credence.

[@SPRVLN27]

A 7th degree Aikido blackbelt loses a fight to a decent high-school wrestler or someone with a year's worth of boxing training.

[@bobobsen]

He could do sumo

[@pedrovara4712]

Director: "Ok it's time for the sex scene. Where is the stunt double?". Seagal: "No need for him I do these." Director: " Ok, then do this then wait a bit. We need to record an action scene". Seagal: "No, sex scene and Im out for good.".

[@CsykKrit]

He wants to be a godfather, a ninja, a director of national security, a monk, a ladies man, a secret agent and another type of secret agent. He will film his next movie from his bed and have it cgi'd into something where he wills himself to gain superpowers and single handedly saves the universe just to have a peaceful afternoon with his totally normal 25 year old girlfriend.

[@JasonBrant]

That's a brilliant idea. You should send it to Sensei.

[@rickc2102]

25 sounds a bit old for Seagal.

[@luccirobbins6675]

@@rickc2102 Katherine Heigl did claim when she turned 16, Seagal said, “Ya know Katherine, I have girlfriends younger than you.”

[@MrEazyE357]

Don't forget "a black man." He wants to be that most of all.

[@sadboy1122]

@@MrEazyE357 for the n word pass

[@mdmagnusson]

"He's foraging for food; he's hungry" ROFL

[@JasonBrant]

🤣🤣

[@roryslaine7896]

😂😂 I lost it at that.

[@tommyjohnson1066]

Like an extremely out of shape bear

[@alaric_]

The thing is, i don't think he has the stamina to walk into the bush! He was most likely having some snacks from the catering. I bet the insurance company also forbids him to walk into any 'dangerous place' because he might trip, not get up and die of hunger.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

That's his secret. He's always hungry.

[@timeshark8727]

_"I wonder how many cows had to die to make that leather jacket"_ I mean, cows are pretty big... probably no more than 4 or 5

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@gregorystone8141]

Every time I hear him talk its like he's a crazy old guy that thinks he is giving the cashier at Walmart a profound life lesson

[@starguy2718]

Steve is TWICE the man he used to be. Literally.

[@JasonBrant]

At least!

[@onlythetruth4039]

@@JasonBrant I shared with this video with a Russian friend but he told me that your channel in blocked over there. That's mean that Segal have been watching your channel once or more LoL 😂. They passed a law in Russia for not making fun of any high-up politicians or allies of Putin and unfortunately, Seagal is part of that clict. I guess Putin is helping him for not looking bad in Russia, where he is teaching Hikido and still making bad movies.

[@JasonBrant]

@@onlythetruth4039 I just checked the analytics and I am getting views in Russia, but not many. For whatever that is worth.

[@onlythetruth4039]

@@JasonBrant Am glad, maybe his internet is bad. I concluded that Segal must had exchange a word or two with his power friend in the Kremlin 🤣. Am glad that I was wrong,but am curious of what Russians who watched your channel may say about that guy, because he is Russian now. He live in Russia and have young girlfriends there. He married many times and I think that he had more than ten children in total during his life.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Steven Seagal is Greasus Goldtooth in Warhammer the movie.

[@reptomicus]

Seagal sounds medicated, like someone shot a poison dart at him and he's struggling to stay conscious.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣🤣 That's a good description.

[@themark443]

Yeah he does lol. He must have been on some really powerful downers or something because its like he forgets which low budget movie he was in and he slips into that weird New Orleans accent half the time.

[@luccirobbins6675]

“Sthay don bish...”

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Hè sounds like he's struggling with sleep inertia.

[@evilformerlys4704]

I highly doubt poison can move through that blood type of rocky road, but anything is possible with that God King.

[@mikem.6340]

What’s really sad is that he actually believes he is every “character “ he plays in movies, in real life. Imagine being one of his 7 children nowadays.

[@brazy702seang6]

They are not on speaking terms

[@mikem.6340]

@@brazy702seang6 Can’t imagine why. I would be ashamed to be related to him and change my name.

[@j.jmilan551]

Let's not bring those poor kids into this. They've been through enough crap already.

[@mikem.6340]

@@j.jmilan551 Yea that was kinda my point. It was metaphorical bcuz I do know what they went through from the sources available. But who knows what’s fact from fiction on the net.

[@mhxrrxl]

"Alright Steven, I need you to look fat." 🤣

[@CoryShowtime]

I feel like I should thank you for your service after sitting thru this.

[@JasonBrant]

It was rough. Didn't think we had enough beer to make it.

[@CoryShowtime]

@@JasonBrant They didn't cast Seagal in The Expendables because he would've exceeded the weight limit of the plane.

[@JasonBrant]

@@CoryShowtime 🤣🤣

[@dontcare7086]

I watch anything seagal. You should listen to the cumtown breakdown of seagal and you'll appreciate how good a bad movie can be.

[@JasonBrant]

@@dontcare7086 I'll give it a listen.

[@Nummymuffincocobutter]

Sounds like Steven is half asleep...like he just woke up from a long nap and the director told him it was time to shoot a scene and he popped a couple of valiums before he left his trailer..

[@JasonBrant]

He's so low energy it's crazy. The man clearly didn't give a damn during the entire shoot.

[@thatoneguychad420]

💯

[@redblaze8700]

Fun fact: Segal has a body double for everything in his life, even when he’s eating, sleeping, or even taking a bath/shower.

[@Ben82077]

Director: We need you to run down a tunnel. Seagal: F-k that. 😆 😆 😂 😂

[@wakkowarner7391]

It's great to hear Seagal wheeze his way through all of his lines, like deflating air bed.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 haha

[@crabbasket1270]

3:31 His most explicit display of interest comes when he mentions Turkey. No, it's not turkey meat, Steven; it's a country.

[@JasonBrant]

He does lean forward at the mention of turkey... but that's a pretty lean meat for Sensei Seagal...

[@crabbasket1270]

@@JasonBrant I think he likes anything with breasts and has the potential to be maple glazed.

[@nickirmen6671]

@@crabbasket1270 Especially one you can easily fatten up on a club sandwich with mayonnaise and bacon and honey mustard

[@llamaczech]

Fun fact, in the movie Segal was in before this (iirc someone else wrote and directed) the other martial arts lead in the movie did a fight scene sitting down, but because there was a bomb on the chair that'd be triggerd by him standing up. The fight scene involved him being knocked over and having to hold the chair against him as he moved around, and hopping the chair around while fighting and shit. Basically a creative martial arts scene. Segal obviously decided he needed to do it better.

[@xNTwoDeep]

Director: "Man we need you to run down a tunnel" Sensei Seagul: "Fuck that!" this shit has me weak as fuck lol

[@GPgunner91]

At this point, his movies are so lazy and low energy that I half expect him to suffer an actual heart attack that no one bothers to edit out.

[@JasonBrant]

That's in the sequel, Heart Disease to Kill.

[@CL-vz6ch]

or anyone notices...

[@DamnMixes]

My favorite Seagal movie of all time is Executive Decision, because they get rid of him in the middle of a movie. That's his top notch performance right there, falling out of plane.

[@JasonBrant]

That's actually a good movie. You're right... they ditch him early on and it helps a lot.

[@mkendall8393]

I read that he was supposed to make it on the plane and last most of the way though the movie but he came on set day 1 making demands and being a total prick. So the director and producer just paid him his money and killed him off early. They tried to have a more violent depressurizing death where his head exploded but SS refused saying that he would never go out like that and his fans wouldnt appreciate it so they just had him sucked out of the plane. You can tell he was supposed to be one of the big stars of the movie because he was dual billed on posters and ads with Kurt Russell.

[@beans301]

@@mkendall8393 yes its funny bc i was a segal fan as a kid until that movie. I didnt know any better then....never recovered after his movie with DMX....ridic

[@refinedsugar]

He got physical with John Leguizamo on set and initially refused to film his death scene. Never heard talk of him being in the movie longer.

[@chrisidoo]

It's so weird how good his movies were like, 30 years ago. He could move and wasn't, at that time, always playing the same roll. Now the good rolls he has are the ones on his stomach.

[@villematiashaukia9633]

"So Steve, we need location, is Turkey good?" "Yes, Turkey!" *After few days Steve is confused why they are flying and where is his Thanksgiving sandwich

[@gregkamer3754]

You two guys crack me up. Please don't lose your hard on for Segal.

[@JasonBrant]

It softened a bit after this movie. But I'll keep going, haha.

[@chrisf8855]

How dare you make fun of Hollywood's greatest actor of all time. This man was robbed. Robbed of numerous Oscar awards that he clearly deserved.

[@JasonBrant]

He's the best at everything. Of all time.

[@jonpato]

Hogwash. Nobody can rob Steven Seagull.

[@toxsickdog]

This Movie could be candidate for best comedy of the year.

[@beans301]

How dare you blaspheme nic cage! We will not have it!

[@ituC1008]

​@@jonpatoYeah, he'll break their arms

[@alexstrouse6333]

Steven Seagal’s mumbly tired voice should be used for a sound machine to help people sleep. 😂 Steven’s line delivery sounds like he’s doing an interview, making up words as he went along.

[@kaykutcher2103]

It's like that tired joke of a character being on the phone and then altering their voice saying they're in a tunnel and the connection is breaking up

[@saniiti_1103]

2:50 "We need you to run down a tunnel" "Fuck that" that had me cracking up 😂😂😂

[@abaddon_the_annoyer3084]

It almost sounds like he was even too lazy to talk and they got an impersonator to dub his lines XD

[@JasonBrant]

The laziness reached a new level with this one.

[@mwont]

Seagal is today 69 years old. The actress is 33. In what parallel universe this would make any sense?

[@JasonBrant]

Watching him paw at her was gross as hell.

[@michiganman9599]

@@JasonBrant While fully clothed🤦🏾‍♂️

[@nicolasoliveira4903]

In real world happens alot

[@michiganman9599]

@@nicolasoliveira4903 doesn’t make it any less disgusting

[@CL-vz6ch]

any rich male celebrity.

[@TheGMan91100]

I saw a recent interview with seagal. He wanted to give special thanks to Jason Brant fans for purchasing his crap for you to watch. He said it single handedly saved his career and his taco bell order for the rest of that day.

[@killeralltires]

I'm in a shit place in life right now. But what's been getting me through is watching you guys make fun of Steven Seagal. I love it.

[@stephenmccandlish6041]

"Fuck that, Set up the green screen" I honestly laughed so much i dropped my beer. i am really enjoying watching your videos

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 Glad you're enjoying them. Lots more on the way.

[@thethunderbird87]

I bet they had a specific person whose job was to poke Steven with a stick to wake him up every 5 minutes, it's like he's about to start snoring any second lol

[@JasonBrant]

No doubt!

[@angelsky7483]

When Steven devours a huge plate of pancakes he looks down and at his stomach and says "Sthay down bith"

[@blondboozebaron]

He's been brilliantly acting as an actor his whole life. He deserves a lifetime award.

[@Pdotta1]

So much about this guy can only come out after he’s passed on. Gonna be mind-blowing, unimaginable even given what we all can see.

[@JasonBrant]

I can only imagine. I hope we hear about it all.

[@TheCrazyHedgehogLady]

Right!? Dude is so openly cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, can’t even begin to imagine what he actually tries to hide!

[@tpmnrcks]

Yeah like did he really shit himself after he got choked out by Gene.

[@sukhoifockewulf9371]

@@tpmnrcks That's fact, Gene don't lie, that man's a saint.

[@DZNTZ]

He’s not dead already?

[@totallyalpharius507]

"Okay Steve, I need you to look fat." "I'm gonna finish this beer and take a Seagal." I swear, I'm never drinking beverages while watching your videos again.

[@JasonBrant]

😆 😆

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

''Stay down bish.''

[@AcidGlow]

9:40 I guess that was the end result of their Love Making session 😆🔥

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@tanya4534]

I wish Jason would do more movie reviews with this man, his laugh alone combined with Seagal's delusional antics was so hilarious.

[@DonaldBulley]

i have not laughed this hard in a while.i have a lot going on at home.my wife had brain surgery 3 yrs ago.now in crisis for mental break downs.my son has autism & was hitting me earlier.he is 15yrs old 5'8" & hits like steel.was just sitting here blanked out in tears.saw your video on time line.feeling better now thank you.subbed for sure.

[@JasonBrant]

Damn, man. I'm sorry to hear about your hard times. Hang tough, bud. If watching us shit on Seagal gives you a few laughs, then we have several videos for you. We appreciate you!

[@baabaabaa2293]

Sorry to hear that mate & lm happy for ya that you can get a laugh out of something... Best wishes mate.

[@marioyamasaki1925]

Things get better.

[@davemeads859]

Hope you're doing alright mate sounds rough really hope things turn around for you👍🇦🇺

[@interestedparty7523]

May god be with you, friend.

[@hammbone8184]

Director"Steven we need you to get up from the table when you see the 2 thugs enter the room" Steven"I think this scene calls for me to impose my will sitting at the table" I've gotta see this

[@JasonBrant]

Just warning you... It's bad.

[@jackquentin1950]

When Seagal said "dhshs a hub. A port. With a history of trafficking andshdhsj." About Istanbul, I really felt his delivery.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@kodadelarosa2055]

Them roasting the hell outta Seagal is honestly way funnier than the movie itself 😂

[@Nrkade]

Soon we’re going to see Steven verbally battle a thug instead of fighting sitting down

[@JasonBrant]

Hearing him slur through an 'action' scene will be a new low.

[@pandabanana2593]

When his alpha gets so alpha he alpha beats people down with his alpha aura. He has to fight then sitting down because his alpha has made them too beta to be fought standing up. A true master samurai ninja warrior.

[@The_ZeroLine]

“He said it so fat.” Classic. BTW, he literally sounds like he’s falling asleep during these takes. I wonder if he’s on heavy sedatives. It looked like he was trying to hold in diarrhea while driving that car. “Still wearing a Rolex.” They copied the gun drone thing from Money Plane. Another hilariously bad movie you guys should check out. It stars Joey Lawrence!

[@JasonBrant]

Haven't heard of Money Plane... I'll have to check that out.

[@phillipwattsjr.4714]

I think the word you're looking for is "Fatly". 🤣🤣🤣

[@JasonBrant]

@@phillipwattsjr.4714 We drink a lot during these 🤣

[@muhammadal-khwarizmi6933]

@@phillipwattsjr.4714 "Fatly going around corners"

[@pladampa]

Gene Lebell gave Seagal his diarrhea problem.

[@dreyslayking154]

Budget for this movie: $5,000,000 (estimated). Gross Worldwide at the box office: $7,048. No, I didn't leave any zeroes off.

[@thesilverrook3502]

My friends and I have kinda made a tradition of watching hilariously-bad movies for phone. We meet up every month or so, to order some delivery, and watch a cheesy bad movie. The last Seagal movie we watched was “General Commander”, and it was a turd. Yet a joy to laugh at.

[@JasonBrant]

That turkey is on our list. Not looking forward to it 🤣

[@doriangreen3231]

Poor, poor Jemma Dallender. She was great in _I Spit On Your Grave 2._ That movie was intense but not as intense as seeing Jemma have to be within five feet of Seagal and not throw up.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣🤣 She deserves a medal.

[@michaelblaine6494]

Thanks for giving the name🔥😜

[@wongjefx980]

She's hot.. but a B actress... I Spit on Your Grave2 isn't a movie you'd expect any actress other than porn actress to star in so, a bit brave.. but she deserves an Oscar award for letting Seagal touch her fine-ness if that wasn't a body double. Seagal putting the moves on her was prob the most exercise the guy got in years.

[@Ukraineaissance2014]

@@wongjefx980 she started off in Hollyoaks, i.e she has absolutely no standards

[@adnaanu]

Had a feeling I've seen her somewhere before but couldn't put my finger on it.

[@dumbasamoose3382]

There is no shortage of terrible Steven Segal movies... this is gold lmao 🤣

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks! We're working our way through his oeuvre of crap.

[@megs8498]

What has happened to the middle of his head? He moves with all the grace of a 3 seater couch 😂

[@mikeparry4095]

The love/hate relationship for sensei seagal is a firm but fair approach! Again you’ve outdone yourselves! Kudos

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks!

[@chesterstevens8870]

These guys: "Is he about to do a sex scene with her?" Me: "No, please. Not like this..."

[@JasonBrant]

He does it in all of these damn movies...

[@topochicooooo]

@@JasonBrant He probably does it in real life too

[@doggo_87__60]

It breaks my heart to see Russel Wong in this movie.I mean, that guy has so much potential.. the looks, trained in martial arts, decent acting. But his image got trapped in many B-movie just like Mark Dacascos

[@ethanmorrissey8277]

Hey man mark maid it into the John wick series

[@doggo_87__60]

@@ethanmorrissey8277 but only for 1 episode. With his age now, I hope it is not too late for him to get a main role in a proper movie like Liam Neeson in Taken

[@transcendentalarts5942]

Russell was great in Romeo must die. Yeah too bad his talent almost wasted

[@michaelworthington4454]

Brilliant, love it when you both burst out laughing at exactly the same time.

[@Brian_tim]

It sounds like the audio is slowed to .75 when he's talking.

[@JasonBrant]

His fat tongue only works at 75% speed.

[@JamieEvansBooks]

Love this. I noticed this about Seagal's movies (I was a huge fan and own all of his films up to Maximum Conviction) If he has facial hair, the movie is horrible! no facial hair... you have a chance at a decent movie ...even if it is in the so bad it's good category;).

[@JasonBrant]

I never made that connection, but I think you're onto something here...

[@jonaha.k.ashazam2535]

I was screaming laughing at this during my lunch break so much my coworkers had to see what was so funny

[@kieranoconnor5854]

He full on makes his lines up on the fly. Its absolutely classic

[@torarinvik4920]

Seven Segal has become the David Carradine of martial arts :-D. This is insane, even the most blind layman can see he is just reading lines half drunk/ asleep. He was probably forced to do this, money for some unpaind back taxes or something.

[@JasonBrant]

Haha!

[@robpelick7460]

Nice to see Seagal streching his acting chops by taking on new roles

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

His acting pork chops.

[@Headhunter_212]

Still waiting for Seagal's Hamlet...

[@TheDevilinThePaleMoonlight]

The keyed in drone with the dangling assault rifle was one of the MOST magical things I've EVER seen in my 30 years of watching movies, simply and utterly AMAZING! Somebody put that in a movie and said "yup that'll work".

[@TheIcarusSystem]

02:30 - 03:00 actually had me laughing out loud :D

[@JasonBrant]

"Stay down, bitch," kills me every time.

[@alexanderandrade7176]

Great job guys. I hear that Segal is under the Fitness Protection Program.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 🤣 Nice!

[@stewartmurray8487]

i love that its so clear he improved every single line

[@JasonBrant]

Mumbled and ad-libbed his way through the entire movie.

[@TheJoeshExperience]

Sifu's index finger nail at 9:02 is uncomfortably long

[@Squirrelconga]

"he's foraging for food..he's hungry" You guys remind me of Mystery Science Fiction Theatre 3000! 😂😭

[@ericrecano8557]

Sensei Seagal is at a point in his career where it seems laborious for him to even speak his lines.

[@JasonBrant]

Staying awake seems to be a struggle.

[@Tigerhawk1978]

I don't know why, but there are few things in life that are more entertaining to me than Steven Seagal being terrible at his job.

[@JasonBrant]

Haha.

[@chuntoon1]

Fell down a Seagal hole online and found you two .. reminds me of a good friend in collage that I loved to watch bad movies with .. had me laughing right along with you guys 10 outa 10, I'll def check out your channel

[@ACDCROCKS135]

Steven Seagal puts the ice cream in team 😂

[@mrbigsasmr8188]

He should be given Oscar for his acting.he makes the best movies of all time.he does his own fights he sings which has the best voice,plays music instruments oh and he’s from every country he gos to.what more do you want.he would said about himself any way.

[@JasonBrant]

I can't argue any of your points. He is the ultimate man.

[@MrEazyE357]

He's also black.

[@TheWaffleman54]

He's the ultimate Renaissance Man.

[@kitten-whisperer]

I decided to look up some goofy Steven seagal fight scenes to laugh at and found your channel. This slaps.

[@JasonBrant]

Oh, we love our goofy Seagal crap around here.

[@drb2k580]

11:54 Cruising in the Camaro with the green screen behind him like Toonces the Driving Fat.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 🤣 You're killing me.

[@joebob8713]

Just found this goldmine of a channel. All the best!

[@Schmidt54]

Good old Steven Seagal doesn't want to stand on set so they wrote the scenes with him sitting down. A classic. Also, why is he still making movies. He should start a KZbin channel and live off his own meme.

[@JasonBrant]

I would die if he made a KZbin channel.

[@insanitypepper1740]

I love Sensei Seagal and Seagalogy! Keep up the good work!

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks!

[@jlcomte]

Been sick for 2 weeks…you guys cheered me up. Thank you

[@JasonBrant]

Glad to hear it!

[@warpeace8891]

"Five stairs" broke me, I can't keep the tears back..... so funny.

[@pandabanana2593]

Stevie looking shredded as ever. Pure warrior samurai ninja master race.

[@JasonBrant]

Shredded to the bone. Dude could win a bodybuilding show.

[@pandabanana2593]

@@JasonBrant damn right. Aikido pose with knife hands pointed like a drill sgt instantly switching to the flapping of a ninja seal.

[@Havoc800]

You guys deserve purple hearts. Ifeel like you were wounded in the line of duty.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks for appreciating our suffering.

[@christopherwiley01]

I'm addicting to watching you endure Steven Seagull movies. Love your channel. Keep up the great work!!

[@existenceghost9701]

This channel is classic! All-time gents absolutely love it, reminds me of a low-budget mystery science theater and it works!

[@michaelsinger4638]

Seagal looks like he’s about to topple over at any moment, he’s in that terrible shape. No wonder he has to fight sitting down. Just standing up must be agony for him. And he’s mumbling so much I cannot understand what he’s saying a lot of the time.

[@JasonBrant]

It's crazy that they're still rolling him out as some kind of action star.

[@beeinthehive]

I avoid his crappy movies at all cost, so I'm not sure why I'm watching this, but you guys are hilarious.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks! You can watch his garbage through us, so you only get the high (low) lights.

[@beeinthehive]

@@JasonBrant That was one of the best parts. Why torture myself when you guys endure that pain for me? 😀 You two are strong! Thanks for taking the pain, man.

[@JasonBrant]

My pleasure 🤣

[@AllknowingUnknown]

I've been watching Segal movies lately with my wife and coincidentally I just found your channel. You guys are effing hilarious 😂 SUBBED

[@Higgy_ZA]

Just found you guys and your epic commentary is epic - +1 follower here, please keep it up, eating up the Seagal commentaries 😂

[@zeeox]

I enjoyed that. And also the fact that I didn't need to actually watch the film, myself. A hard day at the office, there. Good work, guys.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks!