A Return to Salem's Lot - The Cinema Snob

[@SirAsdf]

I like how the vampires went from the most terrifying demonic force on Earth in the miniseries, to what is essentially an evil Homeowner's Association in this.

[@matthewmccoyd2578]

'Evil' Home Owners Associations seems a bit redundant...

[@ashleybrooke2087]

A powerful malevolent force dominates a community, draining the life from the neighborhood & enforcing their vile will on the populace. Also, they happen to be vampires too.

[@matthewmccoyd2578]

@@ashleybrooke2087 It's like Frieza being a galactic real estate speculator, it just kinda works

[@Hambie76]

I agree totally true. The first movie practically defined vampires for me but the sequel was such a step back that The Lost Boys were more terrifying!

[@dubuyajay9964]

There's a difference?

[@kevinislas3103]

That delivery of “Shit! We’ve been had!” Is amazing 😂

[@LostGeburah]

A return to salem's lot + Cinema Snob = dear diary, jackpot!

[@cleverlydevisedmyth]

LOL that's my favorite Quagmire line!

[@Void_The_Sinner]

25:53 lmao hit him with the ol' "CALL AN AMBULANCE!" 💀💀💀💀💀

[@rodrickwells2746]

FOR YOU 😂😂

[@777JonT]

I had an old vhs of this one as a kid and completely loved it. Thought about it a lot as an adult. Finally found a copy a few years ago, and now it's a comfort movie several times a year. Long live A Return to Salem's Lot.

[@celeboria]

R.I.P Lance Kerwin & David Soul

[@HurricaneDDragon]

22:39 That might be the best line delivery I’ve ever heard from a child actor. 😳👍🏽

[@JeonardShadby505]

In the same genre of "based on (characters from) the story by Stephen King" as PET SEMATARY TWO, SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK... FOR MORE, and THE RAGE: CARRIE 2.

[@BlackAdam1231]

The Nazi hunter was the best one in the whole movie who was driving the bus like Mr Six in the Six Flags Commercial

[@ZION73082]

I thought I was the only person alive that remembered this movie let alone kind of liked it for its batshit insane chaos. ☠️🤣😜😏

[@john_blues]

"What did you think was gonna happen?" 🤣🤣

[@lasertaster]

I knew this movie existed and could have sworn I’d seen it before…but wow no I definitely had not, I think I’d remember that batshit plot. This was a fun episode

[@orinanime]

So neat bit of trivia: Ricky Addison Reed was the first/original choice to play Dick Grayson/Robin in the 1989 Batman before that idea was scrapped. Then Marlon Wayans was the follow-up choice. Before the character was written out of Batman '89 and Returns entirely.

[@FrenchPaul1988]

You're skipping the Rob Lowe one ? Lloyd would so disapprove.

[@locnar1]

Maybe he's doing them in release order? But then he'd need to do the BBC RADIO version too.

[@sfighter0085]

I sure he'll get to it sometime. This was just an inbetweener for this "franchise".

[@tinkerer3399]

I remember some years ago I watched this at home and just as it was wrapping up my ex came in and asked me how it was. My response was: "I... I don't know..."

[@DarlingNikki2]

Sounds legit lol. The movie had potential but it went off on so many unrelated and stupid tangents not to mention the effects were laughably bad and the acting was all over the place. It would have been a better TV series I think with a chance to flesh the characters out and get in some better special effects because the premise wasn't a bad one, just the execution of it.

[@ChaosTicket]

I saw Return to Salem's Lot only a few years ago. I found it while trying to find another film where vampires take over a town, Children of the Night. Its got a very interesting premise of a town completely converted to vampires and how they sustain their lifestyle.

[@Robjr83]

Was hoping for one "Return to Shittin Cup" reference.

[@jacobmatthewcrawford2120]

11:48 Man, Larry Cohen really seems to love killing his own kid... Amazon cannibals, child marriages, vampire cows, and Samuel Fuller... And I thought HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II was a bonkers sequel!

[@bensneb360]

If it’s a Larry Cohen film, you know you’re in for a good time

[@KLegyyn]

Amen to that! . .

[@PatrickMoore-yw6lu]

Bet Larry got the idea of vampire cows from Howard the Duck, as the comic series had a vampire cow character.

[@willday980]

There was a 1950s horror comic by Marvel (then Atlas Comics) that had a story with a whole herd of vampire cows. It was reprinted sometime in the 70s, but I can't recall what title.

[@guillaumebabey4484]

It needs the unorthodox ways of Brad Jones to want to make me check out A Return to Salem after all the worst reviews this sequel got!! Hurray for Larry Cohen!!

[@SpookyouKnowIt23]

I made a Phantasm reference at the same exact moment

[@michaelryall5752]

Wait a movie where a quite small town is kept that way by a conspiring HOA group killing troublemakers and vagrants. Ok seriously did Edgar Wright ripoff this movie to make "Hot Fuzz"? Just remove the vampires and father/son bonding plot and add the "greater good" chant.

[@louisduarte8763]

THE GREATER GOOD!

[@NebLleb]

@@louisduarte8763 See as much as I appreciate your wild theories, Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of him being... an appalling actor. -APPALLING!

[@AliceBowie]

On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival, some travellers moved into Callaghan Park. Before you could say 'egyptsy scum' we were knee-deep in dog muck, thieving kids and crusty jugglers. We lost the title. And Irene lost her mind. She drove her Datsun Cherry into Sandford Gorge.

[@DarkmanPoe]

True story - Ricky Addison Reed almost played Robin in "Batman" (1989)...back when Robin was still going to be in the movie.

[@peterkrug4124]

Now I want to see the Snob review the 2004 SALEM'S LOT🧛🧛‍♂🧛‍♀

[@altonyoung3734]

The kid driving🤣🤣🤣

[@andygreen5609]

Really needed St. Elmo's Fire playing on the radio though.

[@williambeckett6336]

I'M IN. I had to see the review that was declared a BETTER movie than "Megalopolis."

[@Rahshu]

I can tell you had a great time! It showed. I also really enjoyed this movie. It is fun, it is interesting, and it does have some very interesting ideas. I own it for a reason! I enjoyed this episode more than most, too. Your energy really made it as the film gave you so much to go off of. I love seeing you happy. :)

[@michaelryall5752]

30:00 "America!" OK this movie is so hilariously insane I can't believe it's not a "bad movie night" classic.

[@LucyLioness100]

My mom couldn’t stand the OG miniseries cause the book freaked her out so bad. She was so mad at me picking your review of the ‘79 series one time. Glad I got to chat for a bit tonight after “Caligula”

[@enlightenednormie242]

This movie is bankers!! And I freakin' luv it😅

[@melanieparker]

I remember TV Guide gave this movie three stars in the 1990s.

[@ProBreakers]

I randomly watched this a few years ago. It was on while I put up Halloween decorations in the house.

[@jeffreybarrow9788]

That does look like the bus from those Six Flags ads.

[@squi12elnuts]

Custody hearing? "I don't want him, you take him" 😂

[@coreyhendricks9490]

Cool video as always Snob 💯

[@patrickmullowney4220]

i loved this movie when i saw it on hbo as a child. thank you for covering this!

[@daveandreahoward8203]

Larry Cohen, master of AND THEN!

[@dubuyajay9964]

Can we have some fried rice?

[@BehindtheMapleCurtain-v4h]

OMG. I’ve been waiting for this review for a while. Thank you!!!!! now time for the Early 2000s remake with the beloved Rob Lowe!

[@aliasfakename3159]

This feels like a prequel to True Blood

[@bilwisss]

i really love the 1979 Salem's Lot. a favorite all time film for me. . . . . . .. . .. . . . .

[@knightnday10]

This was a great vampire comedy movie .. not sure that it is a Salem's Lot sequel, but it is just great and your reactions to it made it work. Thanks Snob!

[@Launchpad05]

Vampire cows? Did the makers of this movie read 'Howard The Duck' comics in the 70's?

[@Jonas-lj8ul]

Who didn't?

[@narcolepticchihuahuaproduc1801]

16:54. I thought that was Brother Theodore from The Burbs at first (Uncle Klopek).

[@AliceBowie]

Brother Theodore was amazing. I regret never going to see him do his stand-up tragedy in NY. He performed at the same place for decades. He actually was in Auschwitz when he was young, before moving to New York. His guest appearances on Lettermen were always great. He would just rant until they cut him off, every time.

[@pyrodiscoflash6115]

This is Already a Winner with Michael Moriarty just Showing up, always Laughing all the way through

[@johnoneil9188]

There is actually a German children´s movie called The Little Vampire that has vampire cows in it. I have not watched the original movie or the review if Brad made one but I can tell the tone of this sequel is weird as hell, I dig it though.

[@adamcammack3534]

Please do the 2004 series nobody talks about it

[@kylejohnson423]

30:13 it makes sense that sometimes the gun is way too accurate, and other times, it misses at point blank. It's the same gun megatron transforms into.

[@markabboud4855]

The actress that plays Cathy is also in Its Alive 3

[@christianninsananda9626]

I remember an old Howard the Duck comic where he was fighting Bessie the Hellcow... drawn with a black Dracula cape and a cowbell chain.

[@madahad9]

The 2004 version was unspeakably bad and had some of the most unintentionally hilarious CGI effects. It ruins my favourite scene from the novel. It happens when the town school bus driver is awakened in the middle of the night by someone blasting the horn of his bus. When he goes out to investigate he finds the bus filled with vampire children. It's a genuinely chilling moment in the novel. I'm surprised that it didn't find its way into the '79 version. Perhaps it was sacrificed to keep the running time down, but you're probably only looking at five minutes of actual screen time. The 2004 remake takes more liberties with the novel than the '79 version. The only positive thing that I can say about it is Rutger Hauer as Mr. Barlow. He's closer to how he's described in the novel than the speechless Nosferatu type.

[@eckoschreiber]

Lovely! The coffin thing reminded me of Elvira's cooking;o) And thought vampire bats went for livestock/cattle, something of a vampire myth origin + risk of zoonotic diseases? Uncle Sam - I want you dead? Campy af (unitentionally!?), war glorification turning towards social commitary and also quite an odd kid^^ Anything by Alex de la Iglesias like Brujas de Zugarramurdi (Witching and bitching, gotta love alt. titles)? Bloody Mallory? Al about Evil? Unpleasant dreams!

[@thatcottagecorevampire]

love the Grandpa Munster reference

[@taylormademyself89]

This is a classic 😅

[@sfighter0085]

I caught this movie on the pre-Syfy Sci-Fi Channel. They showed this along with the 1979 "Salem's Lot" miniseries. It's definitely less a "Salem's Lot" sequel, and more in name only sequel. I will say, I do dig the theme for the movie by Michael Minard, really eerie. :)

[@enlightenednormie242]

Brad has to review The Thing, at some point this October! It's the greatest Sci-fi horror movie of all time!

[@goldreplicant2032]

Twin Peaks. My all-time favorite. I know it's a long show, but it would make one hell of a series on this channel. Older seasons still hold up. But uh don't make the mistake of stopping at the Twin Peaks restaurant in TN, I went there with my girlfriend looking for Dale Cooper or TV show memorabilia. That is not what we found lol. Not unless they took inspiration from One Eyed Jacks.

Which Twin Peaks in TN, the one in Brentwood or Madison, Nashville?

[@AliceBowie]

Yeah, Twin Peaks is a restaurant chain. Almost 10 years ago there was a biker war in one. The series is great, although the second half of season 2 is terrible until the last episode. FWWM is amazing, and The Return was really good. It was fun watching the internet get obsessed with it, and then being extremely pissed off after the finale. People wanted answers, and they wound up even more confused.

[@JaycRam]

Sam Fuller is amazing in this lol We've should've gotten a full movie with just his character.

[@perm3227]

What a hilariously crazy movie 😂

[@03bgood]

The father and son moving to a new town was done a lot better in Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice than it was in the one.

[@AliceBowie]

I think the blonde girl is Tara Reid. She was 11 or 12 when this came out. 28:21 on the left

[@HARLEYMK69]

I love Michels epic acting in The Stuff lol

[@tremorsfan]

You should do a review of Larry Cohen's Q: The Winged Serpent.

[@jostockton.]

Grandpa Snob in the thumbnail 😆

[@DavidDrouant]

The bus scene was actually pretty cool

[@d.bcooper7819]

Speaking of vampires, I’m really looking forward to Brad’s review of Nosferatu!

[@mammajamma4397]

WAIT! You HAVE to review The Stuff!!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!

[@angelica6645]

`Specially since the recent release of The Substance.

[@mammajamma4397]

@@angelica6645 omfg that's perfect 🤣

[@KLegyyn]

How... the hell am I this early?! . .

[@thespacebat]

Ok so I'm a big fan of the original novel and I'm pretty excited for a new adaptation of it, the lastest version of IT and Pet Semetary was great IMO.

[@willday980]

"Shiki" (corpse demon) is an anime that is pretty much Salem's Lot in Japan.

[@dbsommers1]

Rip off. Total rip off. I was so annoyed I wasted my time.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

20:45 "can your bible have cannibals in it?"... the standard bible does, multiple times, and these are vampires. Their whole thing is cannibalism, often explicitly in parody of christian cannibalism. I'm pretty sure the book will have cannibalism in it, probably in every chapter.

[@RaoulDuke77]

That old Nazi hunter guy is awesome, he should have been in more of the movie

[@buxzw1945]

This looked like a really fun film, but I got a feeling it was better to watch it this way.

[@Chilanta24]

Kinda miss on the old intro. Good reason to go back and walk the older eps. 👍🏾

[@Mr_1Ballwhale]

I need to find that episode of matlock

[@MundMoriginal]

I miss the analogue camera mic buzzing.

[@michaelthomas5433]

Of course! Pink milk comes from vampire cows!!

[@charlesbronson4282]

The original Salem's Lot is the greatest vampire film ever made...

[@todd8398]

For a second there I thought he started watching Krippendorf's Tribe by mistake.

[@adamo6250]

No, they did make a sequel with vampire cows, it's called Little Vampires

[@Quinntus79]

Okay, but do these vampires connect to the Shine vampires in Dr. Sleep?

[@hankw69]

Wasn't this an X-Files episode at one time?

[@mikespearman1414]

A couple episodes, actually.

[@schumanhuman]

18m43 Why does he sing the line 'Serve? Be a slave you mean!' was this going to be a musical at one point?

[@snoo333]

thanks

[@darthrowsdower3554]

I dont know why i expected this to be a top tear vampire flick when i first viewed. I should of had my expectations low and my alcohol level very high. By the way, I would love to see you review vampire circus 1972.

[@MrCjosue24]

I watched the movie months ago! But I think the first one is better

[@cannabiscovepnw]

Time to do the Rob Lowe version, then the new Max edition!

[@AmariieMaerthos]

I need to know the opening theme song

[@ser6Ijvolk]

If you want to see vampire cows, you'll need to watch The Little Vampire.

[@nathaniellevesque2782]

I hope you'll cover Halloween Ends this month

[@JoeyJ0J0]

Jeremy is awesome

[@funkyweapon1981]

I liked the original miniseries and the book better. I need to revisit both next month.

[@boldbearings]

Aw good pick. Childhood fav.😂

[@SMlFFY85]

The vampire hunter also being a Nazi hunter came as no surprise, I was half expecting it.

[@zombiebassman]

They probably couldnt do a vampire cow sequel for fear of Marvel suing them over similarities to thier own vampire cow character Bessie aka Hellcow (yes thats a real Marvel character, first appearing in Giant Size Man Thing # 5 in 1975)

[@YY-mi9rf]

I thought the rubbery masked vampire was Rawhead Rex.

[@Legather]

Must....watch.... Twin Peaks... in its.... entirety.

[@AliceBowie]

The trick is to watch the entire series from start to finish, while eating only cherry pie and black coffee.

[@mercenaryknight5419]

Would love to see you tear into the 2004 adaptation TBH.

[@seamonie48]

Why did the cinema snob have to censor the word fuck from the kid at 6:07?

[@louisduarte8763]

10:41 OOH! Review THAT movie please! There's a lack of Nick Cage movie reviews on your channel, sir! 11:54 Must make for some awkward family dinners. 17:17 What? Really?! 25:47 There lies where most of the effects budget went. 30:05 AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!