Stop Being A People Pleaser - Dr Julie

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WHO AM I:
I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.

[@DrJulie]

Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health. For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before? 👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith

[@001Alvinar]

This makes so much sense.. I feel like crying after every video I see.. I know I need help.. But I don't know how to ask. Trying to heal with your videos. Thank you so much.

[@animeaunty]

No doubt! Now, at age 50, I'm finding that I have no idea what makes me me...what I like or what makes me happy...or what I can't stand. I lived someone's else life all these years. Add a side of untreated pretty bad depression, I'm very disgusted with myself & Im having great difficulty imagining any kind of point to the future besides just going thru the motions 😮‍💨

[@senaytnur4864]

It's somehow easier said than done

[@Stardust...4445]

Hope had seen this few years back... Lots of time has passed....i mean sometimes in family we try to make everyone happy. Infact they respect us less because we try to b.e more kind and understanding .

[@erikasuarez8653]

What could I do when I’ve already broken all my boundaries and I feel the tower has already fallen down? …. 😪

[@bloxybffs]

Thanks! I’m a people pleaser most of the time to make sure I don’t lose friends. This was pretty helpful

[@acceleratevoidsubsribe]

I feel you

[@stefanie6122]

When you say "no" to others you 're telling "yes" to yourself. Be respectful to you first. 🙂

[@marketcrorepati5729]

self centredness has broken western societies to the point of no return

[@notacountryball]

Same

[@qazedc3]

I did this and then when the boiling point came I just threw all the friends away 🙃🙃🙃 gotta love being an extremist haha. Burnout life of a people pleaser.

[@create773]

When you finally put up the boundaries, everyone else is shocked and get angry…not really their fault ; but they need to be taught that this is the real you and they must respect.

[@beyourownlight112]

You're right...n now I'm finally in that stage...don't know how I'm going to face this.....

[@mordecaiissad8529]

Some people really just can't handle boundaries and that's why they stuck around us and we need to accept to let them go and some are just shocked and surprised because you're changing how your relationship functions because that's what we taught them but they will adjust and they are really the people worth having in your life. It's hard to start but gets better.

[@RayTheConqueror]

​@@mordecaiissad8529holy shit well said man ❤

[@kylecgobel]

This brought tears to my eyes.. I’ve always put others before my needs because I want them to be happy and not have to hurt, I’d always suffer in silence. I’m 31 years old and I have no idea who I am … I have been working with a therapist to help with my boundaries I’m hopeful of finding my true self and surround myself with people who will actually care about me and not take advantage of my kindness

[@Hey99964]

I had a very clingy best friend who never let me play with anyone else other than her. She kept on saying we were best friends but we weren’t. She was also one of the most narcissistic people I have ever met and could not stand to be wrong. She had to always be better than me and it really made me feel small. After 4 years at the same school, she still made me come to the toilet with her. Yes she is a good friend sometimes, but don’t let someone hold you down. Find the people you love and stay with them. God bless

[@suvikhyasiingh6073]

plz tell her you're not her maid or leave her already.

[@JustANormalGamerr]

@@suvikhyasiingh6073she probs alr did

[@miguel9070]

This Doctor is so clever in the way she uses those objects to help communicate the message. I've never seen someone do that so brilliantly. Those short videos have helped me so much and I can't say thank you enough. I wish you all the success in the world Dr. Julie.

[@GodsSparrowSpeaks]

I wholeheartedly agree. Her visuals and her peaceful, calm voice and sincere desire to help others comes shining thru. I’ve never so easily gained understanding. Be blessed

[@qazedc3]

I love it too my inner child feels so supported

[@saigeetha7792]

💯

[@AYuxlin]

This is 99% of my life, trying to impress others to be friends and being trampled on all the time. That is probably why I'm an introvert. This helped a lot.

[@Tilly6035]

This actually explains so much! People ask me all the time how I don't know what I want, and I've never known the answer until now. I have even built myself a character, based on other people's expectations and needs, that has become my comfort zone. Sometimes I don't know what's really me and what's the character..., it becomes annoying, but it's all I've ever known and I don't know how to stop it

[@Saturns48]

This hit home, hard. Sometimes I just pretend I haven't let go of that much, but in reality I lost me a long time ago.

[@karlenejohn4904]

Carolyn Fitzgerald, me too.

[@fireflyo5660]

There may be hope still. What if for some pieces that are lost, we let them be and allow the ones around the empty space to grow enough to fill it? I'd like to try.

[@circles_3270]

Same

[@001Alvinar]

I feel you🤗

[@almondmilksoda]

You can start over right now, in this very moment!

[@Julia4453]

I was taught to be super polite and that making others feel comfortable is the essence of courtesy. So I’m always afraid of offending people. It’s quite similar to people pleasing. The trouble is that when I set boundaries or say no, I do it in such a way that others are offended. It’s easy to advise prioritizing yourself and setting boundaries, but it’s difficult to know how to do it well.

[@xB0NG0C4Tx]

I feel you.

[@AxeDragon1989]

But it can also be the fact you're so used to pleasing them, that any "negative" reaction might feel like you've offended them, when in reality it's only a big deal for you

[@small_dropin_the_big_ocean995]

Don't we become people pleaser because there is no other way to make others comfortable except agreeing to their demands all the time? Ofc, they're going to be uncomfortable if you refuse to do something no matter how nicely you tell them no. I have learned that many times, it's not your fault that others are not comfortable around you. It's them, it's their own issue that they want you to do stuff for them while you ignore yourself. They feel entitled. And it's not on your job to make others comfortable all the time.

[@mine4532]

Wow…. are you me? Aptly said

[@jenjohnson2204]

"Back in the day" society taught us courtesy and politeness. Those still exist today, however, the boundaries of self importance - in a non-narcassist way, will prove to others that you are one to be trusted and respected...even loved.

[@lohithprince]

I have my tears rolling down. I’ve recently discovered that what prioritising my own self means to me. I don’t identify myself anymore and need to get back what an understanding of what I want and to get what I really want.

[@pianta4403]

Almost 2 years ago i went to a new school and finally got some actual good friends that cared (and still care) about me in a way no one ever has, eventhough it made me really happy, it was also one of the hardest periods of my life so far because it finally allowed me to be myself again and think about what I wanted in my life, which i was not used to at all because I wanted to please everyone, I’m still struggling at times but now i know i have people by my side that will help me along the way and I feel much happier then I’ve ever been. After my parents divorced i found out my dad had basically been doing the same as i have, talking to him about it made me realize one thing. If you need to push your happiness aside just so that people will want to be around you then they are not worth your time.

[@neveson]

I actually started tearing up at this, I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life pretty much and I never thought it was a big deal until recently when I realised I changed myself so much to be like whoever I was around that I didn’t actually have a personality as myself I tried putting the thought to the back of my mind and forget about it but it only made it worse now I’m scared I don’t have a personality and never will and I’m too scared to tell anyone because I don’t want to upset any of my friends or family. This video really helped me it helped me remind myself I’m not alone

[@meryemcifci4164]

Hey Barbatos

[@peacelove4215]

Honestly ur comment could have been written by me I also wasn't allowed to hav my own personality because of overall a toxic family But slowly brick by brick I'm trying to rebuild myself and just even discover who I am sometimes il add a new block feel its not right so remove it and think of something else Us losing our personalities didn't happen overnight so regaining them won't either. But slowly but surely we can and we will. Best of luck Peace happiness and strength to u.

[@khloestaley4604]

Take a step back, breathe, and listen to your heart. Let your self come to the surface and shine as your own person. Sending love to you all, good luck💖

[@littlebeeyungyung]

I feel you.

[@jellyhouston1775]

Same but we can do it work on your self all of us need to look at us and say we I am brilliant I am amazing and I love myself thak you

[@juliguitar2958]

I’ve always been a people pleaser, but when I think it’s to much I say no. Then I start feeling guilty like I did something wrong. In the end I really didn’t know who I am.

[@joys8726]

Thank you! I may be an undiagnosed autistic person with ADHD. I may have learned how to mask and mirror people to get along with them. I have always followed what my parents wanted me to do. Study to become a diplomat. Become a lawyer. Become a military officer. But it always seems not enough to please my mother.

[@emilydearing777]

This is so true I'm starting to realize who I am actually and show that to people. If they dont like me for who I am, they dont deserve me. It's hard but it's making me realize who I actually am.

[@eotero85]

There is so much freedom I have found once I started to say no, boundaries in place, and I started to put myself FIRST on the list. Not easy and those who took advantage will be upset, but with time they get over it or they fade away and I don't miss them. It's not being selfish, it's telling myself that I deserve my life on my terms.

[@stefanie6122]

I feel you so much. It took me 30years to love myself, but now i am learning and it is wonderful✨😍

[@bbdn5123]

Amazing and good for YOU 🌌💖💫

[@80PercentScottish]

I cried with this one. For me, people pleasing stems from parents that were never impressed with anything I did growing up. Especially my dad, who didn't believe I was his son, which was why he physically and mentally abused me so freely for most of my childhood. I always inconvenience myself for others, or do things I don't enjoy for others, even reaching the point of burnout sometimes. I do sometimes feel like I just exist so other people can have an easier life, and feel like my own is empty. I will try to put this right.

[@gillianm9367]

What you have said here shows amazing insight and has really made me think about my own situation. Thank you and good luck with moving forward 👍

[@denisef1153]

ECSTATIC UK. Thank you for sharing. You helped me realize something about why I’m a people pleaser. I was in the foster care system as a child. 9 homes in 18 years. No one truly cared for us with their heart, only cared about the monthly check. One foster mother actually told me this. You grow up and still feel you aren’t good enough. I’m 62 now and still a people pleaser. Probably because of the praise I get that I never got as a child. It all makes sense. ❤️

[@mytakeonlove9594]

You deserve to be loved unconditionally, and not only loved when it benefits them or serves them. It’s funny how when you don’t give into people pleasing they will scapegoat you and make you feel like who you are is wrong

[@reluctantly_human77]

True story. I filled my gaps with an unrepentant snark and fiery rage.

[@lingeringinthedarkness9380]

I been a people pleaser since the real beginning (pre-k) and it's true, you don't know anything about yourself and you want to know more about yourself, but cannot figure anything out and that makes you feel depressed and extremely confused, I hate the day I locked myself away for the sake of others.

[@hey-cj9gp]

losing yourself is the worst. feeling lost without knowing what's happening to you and no idea what and how to fix it. set your boundaries, it'll help you in the long run

[@asai9868]

I don't know if i am one, but hearing the way you talk and the sound you used, really makes me calm and tearing up a bit. It feels like you're comforting me 🥺

[@schempgirl1]

Most of my memories of my childhood I’m a happy(sad) clown, I act a fool when people fight to distract them from fighting. I find that I still do this at work.

[@user-bu5vj2qe8u]

I have been raised to be" nice", but nice was just another word for "People pleaser.".I struggled for years and years however my life changed once I learned a very simple word :No. Say no to whatever things you don't want to do just because they are asking you to do because you used to do. Say No..No

[@carolwilsonmusic]

Its taken 40 years, but finally saw it as clear as day and started acting on it. Tough at first, takes getting used to, scary. But my god. It's the best thing ever, taking your own power back, and giving it to yourself! Rather than everyone else. Rather than feeling lost and empty you feel whole and real. You respect yourself. It feels good. It's strengthening.

[@richardbersabal7360]

This hit hard for me, I always constantly changing myself to people and I didn't realize how much it would affect me for who I am until it was too late. Thank you for this video it was an eye opener for me.

[@ANURADHA-nk7dd]

Thank you so much. Being an empath I step into people's reality and have recently totally messed up myself. Bit by bit I am building myself again.. because in making others happy, I lost my own happiness and values

[@angelc.4829]

This is exactly how I described it to myself when j finally realized all my life I've been a people pleaser and how much that has affect me and my sense of self. It came to the point I pushed everyone in my life outside my family because I was so sick of that feeling of loosing myself and now I feel so alone but like a weight was lifted because I finally have the opportunity to discover and decide who and what I wanna be without the pressure or expectative of someone else

[@Datb2]

Me too I’m alone but I prefer it

[@lukemacon1]

Been watching a bunch of her shorts very recently, and this person is one of the most intelligent creators I’ve ever come across. Maybe the most intelligent.

[@rosemaryallen2128]

Learning to DISPLEASE people who take advantage, is one of later life's great pleasures!

[@ramshaahmedghayaz9772]

I'm a people pleaser too but I hate when people bully me in return.... how can I tolerate that without breaking myself, recently I lost my mom and whenever I expect someone to be kind or mature they hurt me in many different ways 😭

[@_SIMPS_]

"you're number one . never let yourself become number two and let everyone become your number one ."

[@sairam583]

Exactly what I'm going through, thankyou so much❤️

[@grantlapointe3627]

Brilliant just Brilliant. I had to learn this the hard way but God helped me . Now he is using you to help others. God bless you Dr. Julie 🙏💖😇

[@acceleratevoidsubsribe]

My tower is gone not even there anymore

[@denisef1153]

Time to start rebuilding your tower. One step at a time

[@jamjarthecat4205]

Can you talk to anyone about it?

[@vickimcburney8977]

I stopped being a people pleaser. I am true to my beliefs, my values, my time. I have lost so many people, even family members. When I have politely decline a request or refuse to listen to cruel gossip, or stand up quietly for my beliefs, I have been screamed at and ridiculed. There is not much to do but hang up. I feel better about myself, but I'm having trouble liking many people.

[@Datb2]

Me too 😔

[@sibiraju6046]

I very much needed to hear this, thank you so much for this video ❤️ I was raised as a people pleaser and once I realised it & started making boundaries, I was seen as being selfish and unkind person. One part of me said to keep boundaries but other side of me was confused thinking I am really a bad person. This video helped me realise how important it is to have healthy boundaries. Thank you so much ❤️

[@nicholassmith7473]

So true, I started telling people I'll get back to you when I feel like I can't say no. It helps.

[@bilabbiboyfilms9558]

This hits hard as a healing people pleaser… for so long, I’ve never prioritized myself. I wanted to get along with everyone. I want to know what everyone thinks of me, and make sure it’s good. I throw away all my personal opinions and boundaries just to please the people I care about. And it’s so tiring. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Who am I? That’s what I’m trying to find out now. I’m trying to heal by learning to love myself but it’s a really slow process… I still haven’t found a reason I should love myself but I wanna learn how to love myself, because I know that I will be the most important person in my life and I want myself to acknowledge that. I’ll just keep trying. I hope the day comes I can finally love myself as a person and not want to please people all the time

[@gabztriedagain]

How are you doing now?

[@cloge555]

I realized that i was a people pleaser a few years ago, it's so much pain cause i just hurting my self so bad for people who actually doesn't deserved it. but i understand this is me, mine, my body and my soul and no one can't push me to change if that wish would make my self in hell.

[@akanehatsu3327]

Yes im a people pleaser and thats my attitude if i dont please people i cant do anything in my life people complete me thats why i please them its rebuilding me and once someone says be yourself it all comes tumbling down

[@tanvigurav5231]

I have been a people pleaser for past 23 years of my life, and this is exactly what already happened to me, I just dont know who am I anymore.🥲 Trying to rebuild and find myself again, also trying to respect my boundaries. I hope I dont feel guilty to say NO to things and people that dont add value to my life🤍

[@GreasyBaconMan]

Saying NO or having the ability to say no is it of self invaluable!

[@uditauniyal244]

Hey it’s not going to be an easy journey but eventually you’ll turn into your best version. My recommendation is read book: Good Vibes, Good Life. All the best!! Sending you all the love.

[@tanvigurav5231]

@@uditauniyal244 Hey I just start reading that book by Vex King. It is helping me a lot and bring me back from that black hole of negativity and all that self doubt.

[@uditauniyal244]

@@tanvigurav5231 I’m so happy for you!! Just wanted to remind you that success isn’t linear, it takes time. Social media is fake. It’ll take time but its 100% treatable. May you have all the strength and courage to get through 🙏🏼🤞

[@tanvigurav5231]

@@uditauniyal244 Your words bring so much positivity and hope. Thanks for sharing such kind words. Yes, trying to be patient with myself and my journey.☺️ Lots of love and blessings your way!🤍

[@chloeincopenhagen]

I love how real and authentic you are. Thank you so much for your content

[@yaileenmaldonadomendez6382]

I'm a big fan of detaching from everything that causes you pain or chips away at you. I have no problem cutting people off... At first it can be hard, but it's worth the peace. You deserve peace and if others don't bring you that, you have to move away from them. Get control over how you want your life to be, the people you want to surround yourself with and how much time you give those problematic family members you might not be able to get rid of 100%

[@ZaWarudo69]

I have social anxiety and i somehow managed to get in a friend group just so people don't bully me or insult me... im kinda trying to fit in.. and those friends ask me something they want from me, i just do it, even though i don;t wanna, and its because i want them to like me, i want to be in their good books... i am veryyy much grateful for god for introducing me to Dr Julie,!! i have brought so many improvements in myself because of her!! now i am working on giviing myself value, and hoping to stop criticising myself and not prioritising myself...

[@louiseknight4576]

This is SO TRUE. The small removal of boundaries

[@chickenchicken123]

35 years old.. spent my life being a people pleaser... I am now free! And I'm going to find myself and discover who I am! ❤

[@5acha1]

How can you know who you are, and what are your boundaries when you spent all your life and build yourself as a people pleaser?

[@gillianm9367]

Spend some time alone if possible, walking in nature or visiting a local park/gallery or zoo. Make a list of your interests, this could be anything from cooking to art or history or a sport you enjoyed when younger. If finances allow, book a short trip or even just a day trip to immerse yourself more in these interests. I did this recently, returning to a place I visited many years ago. It reminded me of who I really am and how to move forward. I didn't realise how much of my true self I had lost by always putting others first !

[@crystalannwoodham]

Becoming aware of your own needs, feelings, and values is an important step in breaking out of a pattern of excessive people pleasing. Here are some steps that may be helpful: Practice self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Pay attention to what triggers your people-pleasing behavior and what needs you are trying to meet. Set boundaries: Start to identify your own personal boundaries and learn to communicate them effectively. This can involve saying "no" when you don't want to do something, or expressing your own opinions and feelings even if they are different from others. Engage in self-care: Take care of your own physical, emotional, and mental needs. This includes engaging in activities you enjoy, setting aside time for self-reflection, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist when needed. Practice assertiveness: Assertiveness involves expressing your own needs and feelings in a clear and confident manner, without being aggressive or passive. Practicing assertiveness can help you build confidence and break the pattern of excessive people pleasing. Seek support: Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide guidance and support as you work on becoming more self-aware and assertive. Breaking out of a pattern of excessive people pleasing can be a challenging process, but with patience, self-reflection, and support, it is possible to reclaim your sense of self and establish healthy boundaries.

[@wolfwolf8942]

That's exactly who I am. Empty, dont know who I am. As a mom I never have any time to myself so I cant ever figure out who I am. I love my kids but I do need time for me.

[@cazwilson7366]

💯

[@Peaches95]

I always tried making everyone happy because they always made me feel they was number 1

[@david22591]

So true. Been a people pleaser all my life and have lost myself. Starting to get myself back.

[@BombShot]

I've recently finally started to fixed this flaw with myself, and it's been great, I'm wearing clothes I like, I'm being more open, I'm standing up for myself, and I finally feel like I can look at people and know who I am, I still have a lot to go, but I can confirm this is accurate,

[@ishii-00001]

It took me 24 years to realize that I should prioritize and focus on myself. Saying "no" is not a bad thing. Also fuck what other people say, just do you.

[@GLIXTH]

You are amazing, this is so true. Something that a lot of people don't understand is that just because you're taking care of yourself doesn't mean you're selfish.

[@jocelynford4209]

This was great to hear! I recently started carving out more time for myself and began to say No more. I can’t tell you how peaceful my life is beginning to feel! I never realized how much I jumped to doing what everyone asked of me in hopes to please and be there for them. I noticed the constant asks started to feel dreadful like a chore to me instead of feeling enjoyable. If I’m not centered, feeling depleted, and putting myself last, I simply can not give my best to others. Hope my comments helps another. Don’t allow others to run you dry, using you as their daily support system. They have to also work on building themselves up internally vs running to people to feel better. 💛

[@puupy]

I found out the hard way but now I'm slowly rebuilding myself

[@tmkpctlo1488]

I have spent 20 years trying to please people sometimes by spending money sometimes by listening to everything they say.

[@gillianm9367]

Unfortunately all that results is being taken for granted and you just find yourself doing/giving more and more until there is nothing left of YOU. Spend some time alone building up your resilience and rediscovering who you are and what you want/need from life.

[@chambersjc85]

Thank you so much! I super struggle with this at the age of 36. I woke-up last week and told myself I was no longer going to do things that I really didn’t wanna do, or stay silent just to be “liked”. My girlfriend broke up with me this morning. It hurts, but it feels better to listen to my inner self… much better than always sacrificing myself to get through the days with her. So this message came right on time! Thank you 🙏🏽 🤍✨

[@AnthonyCarrick]

Sending care. Hope better now

[@a_butterfly2493]

I am at the stage of rebuilding now and it feels amazing. I never felt more alive and happy in my own skin

[@cocoamonroe6312]

That’s me now. If only I had the time and person to work this out with. I’m in the process of leaving the state because I’m stretched so thin by people that don’t respect me as a person or my boundaries. It’s been this way my whole life and I have no clue as to who I am or what purpose I have other than servicing others. The stress of it all has me in pain, physically and mentally and I don’t know how much longer I’ll make it like this if I don’t leave.

[@ratattarat]

i would love if you could do a video on how to go about confrontation

[@brightadvice8745]

It’s like I have a therapist from a distance! Thanks for everything❤️

[@SophieFoster130]

Im a people pleaser and every time I take the courage to say “No” to something I am so surprised that other people don’t get angry and just say “okay”. It feels so relieving

[@user-onyoutube868]

Very valuable visual aid. The question that always comes to mind is this; when we stop people pleasing, which of them are going to drop out of our lives? There's really only one way to find out.

[@f.r.28]

This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you ❤️

[@zsh7951]

I cried with this video, thanks 💔

[@n_.p]

Yes I'm a people pleaser and i realised that when my friend told me to stop being nice to Everyone and start caring for myself even a little. I always thought it was supposed to be this way being to nice to everyone.but in the end i lost all directions, i kept changing myself for people to the point in which i didn't know what i wanted anymore. I adjusted my likes with the poeple whom I'm with for being liked by them. I regret it so much. Thank you for your videos. It's really helping me understand how bad i was treating myself all these years.

[@sreejas6890]

Ive been told from a young age that putting myself before others was selfish and rude and ive litreally just realised that im supposed to have boundries

[@injisalman3114]

I've always been a ppl pleaser n I tried so hard to make friends n then when I did I just gave them my all and did everything they said n be super nice just so they would noteqve me then i got betrayed n realized that I don't even know who I am n I'm completely lost in this world so I decided to take care of my self and respect my boundaries n I started to say no to things that I don't feel like doing n it felt great.

[@jenjohnson2204]

The part where the gaps happen, that's me, more so when I was younger. Knowing I can rebuild brick by brick is new insight. I'm grateful to understand your speak. It gives me the words to speak to my loved ones.

[@j.m9189]

Thank you Dr Julie, I was a people pleaser , doing things to please my family and friends and they took me for a ride but when the pandemic happened and the world went into lockdown . That was the first time I had time to re-evaluate everything. Come 2021 the depression came back . Then 2022 I cut ties with my family and its been draining .

[@damienabbott9805]

Dr Julie is so amazing!!!!

[@surayaabdullah281]

u r not only smart but the way u narrate and share your msg.. you just seem to be such a kind person Dr Julie.. God bless u

[@ourfamilystephens3851]

I'm not much of a people pleaser*, but my brother is. I'm gonna show this to him so he doesn't end up like what you said, thank you!

[@btsfangirl2025]

Thanks

[@ishi7845]

How can we rebuilt i am trying I don't have a clue it sometime feels so hollow that every single minute i just wants to cry. And when i am trying to fill backs those hollow people around me gets angry and upset because i have made their expectations so high and these people are my family members. I don't know what i should do anymore only thing, I know is that i don't want to take a step back because one day block by block I will be shattered and i am just 21.

[@zzulm]

Don't give them access to you and let them fix their own problems, I'm working on this too, good luck

[@peacelove4215]

Look ur 21 and you've realised this I'm 37 it's hard but u can do it. I know Islam health and therapy have helped me a lot Good luck

[@ceterisparibus8966]

@@peacelove4215 Wow! Can you please tell me how Islam helped you?

[@gillianm9367]

Spend more time developing your interests, reading, artwork and listening to music/podcasts. Practice self care and treat yourself with the same kindness you have been showing others. Is there someone you trust that you could speak with confidentially? Sending love and best wishes x

[@denisef1153]

@@ceterisparibus8966 I want to know too

[@yuki5383]

This made me actually cry, you actually help me. I just don’t really know who I am anymore..

[@sanatasneem9481]

I used to be people pleaser , then I realised they don't deserve it

[@a.k.3110]

I like those story's with the pictures a lot. They help those parts of mine to understand what i try to comunicate them with thoughts without the usual resistance. This eases up a lot for me. Thank you 🎉🥳

[@ilovetosingx3]

I’m putting myself first 🙏♥️ and I trust my intuition and I’m never giving up in my life and I set healthy boundaries with myself and I’m a kind woman 👩 and I’m focusing on myself right now .

[@laurablake777]

Thank you so much. I do this a lot and I need to prioritize myself more than I do. Sometimes I pay more attention to what others think about me and it is slowly tearing my mental health down.

[@eminem.E]

Thank you for remaindering me to be my self and make my self happy.

[@maheenibad2004]

I actually can relate to this. I did have friends at first and I started to change my self to make friends.but after some time I realized that I don't have to change my self and after I realized that and stop changing my self I feel happy. you are always so right Doctor ☺️❤️💕💞

[@jessIe76468]

I love how you're not the type to say "don't like for others, live for yourself" but 'live for yourself *as much* as you life for others." Now that's a full life! My fav psychologist, thanks! ❤

[@Someone_on_YT]

Thanks so much for this!! This really helped me. I’m a people pleaser most of the time. I’m always changing to fit in. I also do it because I don’t want to lose friends. Thank you for this message!! Have a great day!

[@meisucksatlife8837]

I don't know who I am anymore or who I want to be or how am I, I changed so much for them and yet they still hurt me and make me feel worse

[@JerzyslavBak]

When I saw this, only that quote came up to my mind: "Look at you, comforting others with the words you wish to hear"

[@1311018]

This is one of the best, if not the best, explanation how people-pleasing is harmful to oneself. Geez, thank you.

[@pumpkinpurple9]

Always been a people pleaser and I am making steps forward to become my own person. Had to cut off some friends, but now im feeling more confident. Also thanks to this video ❤️

[@aqsasohail5657]

your videos are very helpfull.stay blessed

[@DrJulie]

So nice of you

[@tahiranaveed8108]

Excellent point. That's me and I don't even know how to become myself anymore.

[@BQ900]

I used to do that but the past few years as I healed; I found myself fiercely protective of my boundaries & most ppl it cause conflict. My new friend just says ok when I express uncomfortable. He’s a great addition.

[@luna-tl9jq]

One thing I've learnt from life is become self confidence and aware ✨ 💯 Trust me this has helped be be the best of myself

[@TinTin-ir8wx]

Awareness, consciousness, Good effrts, self controlling fr overall goodness, fighting fr good n soon ok nomore n pay back .. etc.. all r shits..useless.. just fr othr evils .. only fr othrs.. n as usual all over, frevr.. nothing n no need as uselss ..

[@lemonfestive]

I’ve come to learn that I’m a people pleaser recently through a psychology vid. I tried so hard to fit in but in the end I only feel exhaustion bcs I follow others and squeeze in to a place that never gonna fit for me. Usually like this when making friends. One time I try to make myself as sociable as possible when I’m actually not and that’s the most emotional draining thing I’ve ever done. Moreover, people that I’m trying to befriend with seems to treat me as outsider of their circle, ouch 😔

[@kcal4525]

Facts! Im living proof of this..smh..gotta rebuild myself

[@wanderer9115]

When I stopped being a people pleaser I became arrogant.I am not now able to forgive myself

[@Ella-ph1si]

ur amazing

[@snowdrop1414]

U make my day better thank u so much 💙

[@Abbie-ri5pv]

She's right, It is doable I had to rebuild before I fell slammed down.