STOP Being So NICE!! 🛑🛑🛑

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About MJ Harris:
Malcolm “MJ” Harris helps you live your best life emotionally, romantically, and financially - and he makes you laugh alot! MJ is an internationally recognized lifestyle and business influencer who has been featured by Oprah, USA Today and Black Enterprise. He has a global reach of over 20 million people each month - across social media and TV. In addition to this, he is the CEO and founder of National Care Financial Group, which is one of America's largest African-American owned financial services firms. MJ’s rise began when he started creating empowering and aspirational digital content about lessons learned from his path of achieving success after overcoming a childhood surrounded by abuse and addiction. Through his videos, online courses, and live events, he created a loyal global fanbase and quickly became a powerhouse in the self-improvement industry.
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[@relly.b3an]

You’re nice to everyone else but you’re not nice to yourself. - THAT part.

[@Officially_LaMarcus]

That hurt 😣

[@lex-rf3cz]

hell. yeah.

[@olgaignashova6736]

😭

[@user-jr9gw3gl7z]

I felt that on spiritual level

[@presleecarson532]

Facts

[@leilani3070]

“If everybody likes you you’re doing something wrong”

[@jojobrown2504]

Being too nice AND patient can take a toll on you over time because people take advantage of that . No one expects you to say ‘no’ or do as they do. I have a naturally soft voice and have been called delicate and sensitive in relationships when I finally stood my ground. It seems like you cannot win. Family and friends have treated me like a doormat too. I done people pleasing !

[@khayymeshell4244]

“You don’t have to please everyone to have a happy life” me at 25 finally realizing this!!! 100% AGREE.

[@aysyaw6038]

You definitely ahead of the game sis! Peace and Blessings✌

[@khayymeshell4244]

@@aysyaw6038 ugh. Thank you for saying that. It doesn’t feel like it 😅 thanks for the love ❤️

[@mqbtv]

I’m 29 and finally understand

[@kheleecebrown1799]

Same just realising this 😢 too.

[@towandalomax3295]

I fully understand and I agree, when I stopped trying to please EVERYBODY I became happier myself and whole. It's Liberating

[@dawnshort5215]

Sad to say I lived most of my life that way. Although thankfully I did stand up for myself and I protect the underdog to this day. I just was extremely observant. I knew when to pick my battles. But you are right. I learn to leave my baggage at the train station in order to grow. I love who I am becoming even at 59. I love watching your vids. Thanks for the lifts... hugs darlin

[@glammagurl572]

You are so right, good for u hunny!!!

[@MSGJD2]

RIGHT!!!!

[@jackseve]

I was so happy when I learned to stop people pleasing. They never get enough. You can never do enough for those people.

[@ew0711]

Now that's the damn truth. People are never satisfied. They'll take as long as you're giving to them.

[@shirleygonzales5284]

I agree.

[@kewannaYaady]

I’ve always been the nice quite child n now I’m most hated to the same ppl bc I start to speak up for myself and things I believe in lol . When people can not control you they dislike you and that’s so selfish but that’s just facts .

[@bellanovia1648]

I love that he’s not one of those “omg how rude this chick is interrupting my video” instead he choose to acknowledge her and be polite.

[@Danielleej]

I’m only realising this now at the age of 20 years old, where I feel as though I have put a lot of my energy into people who don’t deserve it. I feel like I’ve done a lot for the ungrateful and sometimes it’s never given back and at this point in my life, I am at a stage where self reflection is more important then keeping other people around. Update: lol i’m from the uk 🇬🇧, i didn’t think this would get that many likes and it did so thank you🤣🤧

[@Steph_Said]

YES!

[@peterssister421]

👏👏👏👏

[@Kimberly-ks6uu]

Amen I became nice because I was overweight and insecure and only thought I was a nerd. I'm a little better at my disease to please now. Thank you mj you spitting realness.

[@caribbeanbeauty88]

Amen!

[@v.michellej5982]

Amen!!!

[@TaKyraMoonlight]

So glad you posted this. The reason I’m so unbelievably nice is because I know what it’s like to feel left out or disrespected.

[@felicianwilliams3139]

I agree... I've been there. The thing that saddens me now is that I see my son doing the same thing. He's autistic and just wants to make friends, but kids can be cruel so they're nice to him but don't want to be friends with him. He tries to please his peers to make friends and it hurts me because they take advantage of him at times. So I began saying affirmations with him to help him realize he's unique and that is his super power❤🙏🏽

[@CeceNaturalful]

I'm in my 30's and in the process of correcting this and finding my voice. Many people arent pleased by the changes but I feel lighter

[@Gladiator_in_a_Suit]

Girl same! we rised up and wised up!

[@jackseve]

The most liberating experience was embracing my ability to authentically say NO and YES. Then knowing that my reason for my answer does not need to be justified or rationalized. My NO, is answer enough.

[@AlexAnder-ze4qu]

Facts!

[@zanelengcelwane2536]

This just hit me to the core!!! This was directed at me...I just need to re evaluate my life and decisions.

[@user-sp4vq6et7w]

Big Facts !

[@tonisettles6739]

Omg 😳, so so true!!!!!

[@stephaniepetion6100]

Wow! That's me! I have the disease of overly nice🙄. And people take advantage of my kindness! Sometimes they ask," how can you be so nice! Or I haven't met anyone as nice as you"! I am in my 30's, I am learning so far this year to sa no sometimes and not worried about friends, co-workers or family dislike me!

[@carmencatalina9086]

I use to want to be wanted and liked by so many but now I don’t care. I only care about pleasing God. But others I don’t care. I’m developing thick skin.

[@sabrina77769]

“You’re nice to other people but you’re not nice to yourself “ I felt that one 🥺 Such an eye opener

[@michelleb2249]

I have been pleasing my family friends loved ones at the expense of my happiness. Thanks MJ

[@tjzofficial1]

Wow the way something hits your spirit when you can 100% relate. MJ these words couldn’t be more true 💯

[@maryluvsmusic9298]

Agree with u 1000%!!!

[@aestheticchillvibes]

I always had relatives who did not like me but pretended to love me, and they cannot stand that now I don't deal with some of them. I keep things to myself, and I practiced self love and self care. It is sad because I genuinely care so much, but I cannot let people walk over me. I stopped trying to please and explain myself. Especially when relatives make side comments. I have become so much happier!

[@ashleybriggs750]

Thank you. I've silenced myself just to keep others happy but that repression becomes depression. Now I'm learning how to express anger (when it's appropriate)

[@kw6724]

Yes, Ashley! You worded that perfectly 🤍

[@kemageorge2194]

I agree!!👏🏾 I am currently reading a book titled "Not Nice". It's pretty much the instructional to undo being nice which is purely about people pleasing.

[@teena5723]

Me too 🙌

[@accesstotheredcarpet]

Who is the author of the book. I’m gonna read this

[@kemageorge2194]

@@accesstotheredcarpet it's a great one. The author is Dr. Aziz Gazipura

[@peachykeen4242]

That's so true MJ. I've finally learned my lesson after my last toxic relationship. I heard Iyanla tell someone that she had the "Martyr Syndrome." Always concerned about hurting someone's feelings or trying to make others happy at the expense of my own happiness. That was me all the way. But never again...LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!

[@chloecobbs512]

I’m a child and already learning about how people can be form YOUR VIDEOS!!!!!

[@marchellegodsangel9601]

That was my issue! I wanted everyone to like me or speak highly of me but even I noticed I had a lot of people still saying bad things about me regardless so my need to please everyone changed, I say regardless of what you do in life good or bad people that is unhappy in their life will always say negative things about you.

[@Gabriela323]

I’m overly polite, and lately I’ve been getting ignored a lot. Sometimes I’m walking with someone, and it’s literally like talking to a wall. I stopped talking to them, but I don’t know what to do. It’s not just one person, it’s like I’m going through a period in my life where, for some reason, I’ve got to endure loneliness. It’s not the first time this happens, so I don’t know if I need to polish my social skills or if it’s just something else 😪 it is hard, but I’ll try to learn my lesson

[@sandrawright3988]

Don't worry sometimes the lonely period separates you from people that don't have your best interest at heart. The people that are meant to be in your life will come just continue to be you and be kind to yourself.

[@QueenOfPrinciple]

One I'm going thru this as well. The invisible woman almost. But maybe it's not all you,,...not us. We need to show how valuable we are as well by how we handle and treat ourselves. Even if that means happiness alone.

[@sandrawright3988]

@@QueenOfPrinciple absolutely

[@sandrawright3988]

@@QueenOfPrinciple let our no be no and stand on that. I have found that sometimes we go out of our way to do things for others that they wouldn't do for us. We must put ourselves first with no apologies.

[@karbiethapelo4589]

You're not alone. ❤❤❤

[@JonelleNara]

Yes as an adult you don't rock the boat and let things slide and the moment you stop, ppl say "you have changed, I don't like you no more"...I used to do this but seeing ppl be abused pulled the activist out a me. I just can't allow bullies to thilrive so I had to be strong, I had to speak out and have ppl look at me and stand in the attention I absolutely HATE!...now I will confront anyone once I've decided its worth it.

[@rosemarielee4216]

Amen to what the brother says.

[@len1045678]

Yes im moving towards that same part in my life

[@pinkbutterfly213]

My grown children have been taking advantage of me because I am so kind and giving. I would put myself in the red just to help them. It became a cycle and until recently I said NO and offer no explanation. This video was confirmation.

[@chs75]

Congrats on that shiny new spine!

[@MysTaria87]

Totally!!! 💯 I stopped pleasing folks.. and these ppl are hot messes anyway.. no need. Does that mean I’m going to change who I am as a person, naturally? No.. but I do treat people accordingly, yes! 👏🏽👏🏽

[@purposedpatience6597]

You are so sweet! I always look at the way people treat servers in a restaurant because it speaks volumes. You’re genuine love ❤️

[@LarennPBel]

That’s an awesome way to be. Thank u for the reminder 🥰🥰

[@itsapriviledge1055]

The person that told me I was too nice abused me the most. Physically and mentally. 😪 That was most valuable lesson that I ever learned.

[@ambersnow9601]

Wow, I agree with you 100%! I finally decided recently that I am tired of putting everyone else first and being nice to everyone except myself.

[@chynnamichele6776]

This is so helpful for me because I had it bad and I’m changing and dealing with people now telling me “you’re mean” when I KNOW I haven’t done anything but be honest

[@eugeniaperry4278]

When I learned this, I have never been the same, I use the word “NO” like the Mississippi River 🤣🤣🤣🙏🏾💖🌎. It’s just continuing flows out my mouth when I don’t wanna do something.

[@Ebeezy272011]

😂 facts

[@amazonlegs5504]

Lmao

[@adarijohnson]

It’s so hard when you have an emotionally abusive mother.. what she says goes.

[@charmainephasoana6850]

And you live with her!!!!!!!! I honestly can't wait to get out and find my own individuality outside of this dysfunction

[@keepingupwithchanel4232]

I had too move out my mom house she loves me but super argumentive

[@keepingupwithchanel4232]

@@adarijohnson I'm engaged and have a family now!! I'm at peace God will guide you! I had too move on from both my parents and get my own space they weren't very supportive but I still love them both. It feels good when they can come over and eat my dinners and relax on my comfy couches 🛋 😌 She knew she couldn't get in my head anymore so she doesn't Fuss as much!

[@zzp1758]

@@keepingupwithchanel4232 dude same😓

[@keepingupwithchanel4232]

@@zzp1758 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@len1045678]

I agree with everything you just said, specially when you said, it was a survival mechanism to stop people from saying bad things about you, that is so true, also keeping too much inside when i know i have a lot on my mind, and when i do i lash out. Also growing up in a conservative christian home where they teaches about forgiveness that will keep you around the same kind of people instead of separating your self from them

[@Ejejesksjs]

Me being at work with my job having the “The customer is always right” mentality caused me to be overly nice. It was due to the fact that I couldn’t afford to get fired.

[@glamupbeauty2686]

This hit home for me… I’m known as the Giver with a Big heart, and can keep you laughing!! My time, my money, my home, my peace and I’ve been like this my entire life… In my heart I feel like God would be disappointed in me if I didn’t do the things I know I can… However, it drains me, but God continues to bless me. I LOVE making people smile and giving to others but I need to learn how to say NO and stick to it. THANK YOU MJ for this you TRULY read my soul. It’s childhood trauma from me wanting to always please my parents

[@myaccountability3080]

Amen. Being a Pisces... it is a trait we learn to use sparingly overtime from being taken advantage of.

[@wendypope9668]

Do Pisces people sacrifice their happiness to make their partner happy?

[@myaccountability3080]

@@wendypope9668 I can't speak for anyone else.. but I have in my current relationship of 6yrs. Pulled back on doing so after communicating with my lady. She expressed that me doing so wasn't a requirement of hers. Love on you first... or else you'll never be your best for whomever you choose to love on. 💯

[@SaraeRaveen]

THIS! 💯

[@MetalBere]

@@wendypope9668 yeah 😔

[@TheNaughtyBarberess]

@@myaccountability3080 mebe you should disappear like a few weeks and see if you still want that relationship that does not reciprocate and see what your lady does.

[@R3n33loves]

I AGREE! finally discovered boundaries and decided i will not longer be a doormat, my family ain't too happy about it and continues to gaslight me

[@LifewithCharlene140]

You made me realize, I am carrying something that makes me always feel like I have to please people ALL the time. I loved this video.

[@ladylenise807]

OMG, I am a 50 yr old woman and this is hitting me hard because it is totally the roll I assigned for myself and it is done.

[@cartesiajones1598]

I'm with you I'm a 52 yrs old African American queen I'm learning to love myself, be truthful, and be happy within myself. Tired of pleasing people who dont deserve my love, attention or my time. I'm living my best life loving God and myself.

[@ashafarah6052]

Me too sisters.

[@Scorpio12348]

@@cartesiajones1598 same here

[@kikataye6293]

You are a gift! This is the story of my life. Been bullied my whole life

[@tirzahcarswell1903]

Understand, same here, not taking me for Granted anymore, Family, Friends, or anyone in Society. All the things I've been through and ungratefully appreciated about, TRUST ME, BY ALL MEANS, this is NOT A DREAM, I'M not Repeating a DAMN THING!!!

[@AuthenticallyMe6837]

Ouch! My husband always tell me, even to this day that I am always too nice. Allowing people to say things and I don't speak up or do things I don't like, then I beat myself up about it because I didn't speak up for me! Thank you so much MJ for breaking it down for me! No more being nice to please others! I have to love me despite of what others think of or feel about me. As long as I am happy, then their thoughts and opinions are irrelevant.

[@jennifercedre9407]

I was in therapy a long time ago. I realized that peoples approval of me is no longer necessary in my life . Now I honestly care what ppl think about me. Or if ppl hate me. I have great friends and family members who love me for who I am. And they are the best.

[@virgolady5032]

This IS a WHOLE word MJ. I wish that I was close to you yo give you a hug. I had the disease and lived with until I was in my late 40's and I realized that everyone around me was happy, but me. I've changed that behavior and I have felt so free ever since. Love you for the realness 💙

[@queenlyvibes1605]

Definitely experienced it, because I was smaller/shorter than other kids...but once I realized that they were the problem not me...I was good ✌️

[@senam1394]

But I realized that too late I became so introverted really affected my social life .

[@chelliebradshaw8721]

it’s different when you’re genuinely nice … I put me 1st. I can be kind to you but not at a fault to myself. Really catch me outside! Oh & you have a beautiful smile 😃

[@_iamsarahi]

This is so true. I never thought about being overly kind to people despite them constantly compliment us backhandedly. I have pinpointed why I am a people pleaser, it stems from how I was raised. For example, if you’re raised in a toxic household, you have two choices, rebelling, or making decisions to please your parents in order for you to not get in trouble, etc. A word to the wise, if you desire to have children, please please please be considerate of their thoughts. Let them express themselves for who they are. Let them be free, but be smart about it, also don’t not punish them if they’re wrong. Be fair, because you’re molding and harvesting everything you grow. 🌻

[@queenam7477]

Everything you touched on hit home for me. I have always been the nice person and realizing people pleasing is not the key to life. Thank you MJ

[@jackiemurphy5303]

Idk … I feel like I do like to be nice all the time … even when I’m mad I always want to be nice ..

[@Studio-eu2bz]

Me too. I’m a butterfly 🦋 and I have never seen a butterfly near poop (negativity). She’s always just floating around bringing people joy. I find the more loving and kind I am it comes right back. Maybe that’s corny but that’s me.

[@ms.amelia5416]

I agree so much. I developed the disease to please as a child as well. It took till this year at 45 for me to find a cure for myself. My current boyfriend freed me from this disease. He has taught me to say no & find my happiness. I am so grateful for God bring him into my life.

[@charlenewilliams7320]

You can never be too nice, in the realm of your kindness u have to up your Grit...once the Grit has gotten got or a break thru to success, niceness is there to reward..judgement is there for a moment, mercy ( throughout all that judgement) endures forever!

[@KayyDeanne]

So empowering!!!

[@dyoung2739]

💯True,MJ ❤️. I've come to realize, almost too late in life, that my disease to please is over gifting to others. Ive wasted so much time and money on gifts to people who didn't truly appreciate me or the gift(s).

[@AsiaKellyyt]

Ugh talk about perfect timing! I’ve always considered myself nice but never realized that what I was engaging in was people pleasing until last week and from then decided no more! Then I get on KZbin and your video pops up and you just told me EVERYTHING that I needed to hear. No more nice girl and it is what it is!!!

[@bettytorrence4110]

Yes , that true I agree ,it good to be nice. don't take my nice for granted. Don't take my nicest to be a weakness. ❤

[@shoricelong2091]

MJ, thank you for giving me one of the biggest revelations about myself that I have ever had. You are 1,000% correct when you say that my DISEASE TO PLEASE is a trauma response rooted in the fear of being rejected. I can now live my life as my authentic self, regardless of how someone else will feel or think. God bless you. ❤️❤️

[@missleflore1333]

Omg i totally agree with this, it took for me to get into a narcissistic relationship for 4 years to finally realize this was my problem.

[@Hello-iz9hl]

Omg thank you soooooo much for this video for me it was my narcissistic parents that made me have to be like that in order to survive my childhood and adolescent years but I carried it into my adulthood now I am working on myself to stop being fucking nice all the time because it hurts me sometimes thanks MJ.

[@glammagurl572]

Wow he's done it again! My son's father always would say "Amber nice don't get you no where"....well that was 12 yrs ago and he was right also, I stopped trying to please everyone and I realized people around me would still hate or be unhappy either way so you have to do what makes you happy, forget what others are thinking forget trying to please them when I start pleasing myself I felt so much better, thank you a lot of people needed to hear this!

[@kristinawaghorn9432]

I have this so much. I was brought up to be seen and not heard. I'm 48 and need to say no more often.

[@Merdenoms]

Yes ma'am 👏 And no is a complete sentence.

[@Haterzarefans]

@@Merdenoms that last part had me like😂😂😂😂

[@holygrailrose]

I learn so much from you. Sometimes I play your videos out loud so other people can hear them too lol

[@floycesmith9983]

My God, I just turned 55 and you just called it for me. Tomorrow is a new day. Thanks for sharing. Shenell from Boston. Be Blessed.

[@isiacfrost5922]

I understand that that’s why I’m so mean to everyone certain times! I try to still be a good man!❤️❤️

[@mycuprunnethover8655]

I agree. Another reason for being overly nice is when someone has experienced rejection or has had trouble making friends. The person will feel if I’m nice it will please the person who I want to have a relationship or friendship with and they will accept me instead of recognizing God accepts you and God is the majority.

[@QueenOfPrinciple]

This is right on time because I just caught onto this 'too nice' thing!!! And, I'm excited because I've always been very nice.eveb though I get really rough and can fight if need to. I was picked on as child as well had a crazy mean father. Then, I thought God made me that way. I now have decided to be kind,...but not nice. God said love is patient, love is KIND. Nice is doing too much

[@LyssieLysse]

So true! I grew up saying yes because it was so much easier than saying no and getting backlash for it or having to fight. Now, I don’t care and say no in a minute. I tell people I’m not nice, I’m courteous and respectful.

[@Apples_forlife]

I am only 15 going on 16 and I've realized my need to please. Over the years of wanting friends and wanting people to always like me, made me forget about my wants and needs. I was always told how nice and polite I am and how I am always happy. Most of the time I did that so that people didn't have bad things to say about me or not want to be a friends with me, but I am now realizing that some people aren't meant to be our friends or our s/o and that we should be more concerned on our selves and people that genuinely care for us.

[@yolanda4664]

What an eye opener. Now I can put a label on it : the disease to please. Thank goodness I have broken away from it to a degree. There’s still a little bit of it inside but definitely not like how it was in my younger years. I feel there’s different categories/ layers of the “disease to please”. Ex: saying yes to people all the time, making yourself readily available, Being the financial go to person, making commitment to things you’re not ready to take on or do not wish to take on, always being polite, always being respectful (even to those that don’t deserve it) and the list goes on and on.

[@Caprice33]

This was a great breakdown since it’s true that there are billions of people in this world and it’s not worth caring to please everyone...👌🏾✨

[@SM-cg5uy]

100% accurate. Was raised by a narcissistic, disapproving mother. I became a Super Pleaser for her and everyone else and it has NOT served me well in adulthood. It has been a learning mission to stop being such a pleaser.

[@ilyskittles132]

MJ, I don’t know how much you knew that I needed this but I really did. I have learned so much about myself this weekend and this was the one video that added to that knowledge. I’m not going to be the same person anymore. I am surrendering and releasing myself from my disease to please!

[@naijahsky8080]

His really hitting home! What he's saying makes my heart cry! I never thought I would ever hear someone speak to how I feel

[@ladye8686]

Oh my gosh I so agree I'm a little long in the tooth to finally come to this realization MJ so thank you so much for giving me that Clarity that gift of knowledge. Stay safe

[@mariahg4561]

It’s so important to not only hear this message but to let it sit. Then make changes in yourself.

[@tracydahl3984]

You hit the nail on the head this is soooo true I never knew that I was using my niceness to please others and all the while neglecting my feelings... thanks for the eye opener 🥰

[@whawkins3914]

Thank you so much for this MJ, people pleasing is a huge flaw for me. I always thought being nice all the time will help me get through life, but all its doing is making me more into something you walk all over. Yes, I'm traumatized from all the bullying I put up with for years. I just pray that sooner a change will come for a better mental health.

[@newmove7068]

That's why I phucks with you MJ.. you are so down to Earth. You're dope. Period 🥂😘❤️🙏🏽

[@lisapardue8886]

I agree because people would take advantage of me and figured that I was weak I really didn’t know that I was killing my self being nice and people pleasing but now new tune for a different song thank you for sharing 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

[@tiffanyrobinson615]

I’ve realized that some months ago. How I always felt like people was running over me but I allowed it by giving all of me and some to them. Changing my ways that people didn’t like, but I noticed i was not happy with myself and the way others treated me. Now I understand and standing in my power. Saying yes or no as I please and loving me bring happy in my skin, thanks MJ

[@garymotley8196]

Thank you, I really needed to hear this! I always find myself doing stuff for other people and I end up resenting the hell out of my actions! I need to stop being so quick to say yes, not return with a decision until I feel that the answer will benefit me, long-term!

[@lindaxati3581]

U just told my life. This I need to learn. I agree

[@sincereiam]

I became nice from watching others treat people mean. However, I do understand what you're saying. People always tell me that my name fits me.

[@ericawilson6242]

OMJ!!!! MJ, you have hit the nail on the head.. You described me!! I realized the more I gave and did for people. The more people took and asked for things. They still talked about me and dogged me. So I have learned to say no, and if you don’t like me for me, you can get out of my life. Thank you for helping me realize why I was overly nice. It was from child hood trauma . I only try to please God, and not man now.

[@s.m.davids5142]

Thank you for sharing the wisdom. I will no longer allow the darkness of others who try to envelope and extinguish the goodness of light that shines within me. I see your spiritual light and it is beautiful!!! Continue to shine. I know that I will. ❤

[@ericabethany6214]

When I tell you, you really BLESSED ME WITH THIS. I feel like I want to cry. I never looked at my disease to please as a defense tactic but it’s true. All of what you stated is true. I’m trying to do the work now. I explained to my coworkers today that I’m warring with myself so much because of this. I’m going to save this and listen to this everyday.

[@decaturdtp]

I agree. After going through therapy this past year I confronted this about myself and continue to every day. It's freeing too. Get free ya'll 💙

[@josephquan1859]

That's true I'm 40 and until this age, this right year I made changes and place boundaries to everybody that is toxic and think that you're an easy target to bully, because your nice. Not anymore!!! Thank you beautiful approach.

[@gaystewart7844]

This is so on point! I need to listen to this over and over again!!!!Thank YOU💯

[@ebonystewart5445]

Hi iam ebony iam looking for my family I was wondering are you in the NJ

[@theteacherstouch]

I absolutely ❤️ this! Your authenticity is priceless!!!!!

[@kathleeng1592]

That is me and I didn't ever know it till you said it. My mother was and always is the biggest problem and until I cut that relationship off. I was being constantly abused and just was forgiving and smiling but burning the inside. Thank you for the message 🙏🏾☺

[@CareBlair222]

I cut my mom off too for same reasons. I'm proud of u.

[@brittanyguyton3987]

This was me as a child. Since last year, I have been learning to unlearn negative habits and way of thinking and this one had to learn to let go. I developed this defense mechanism from past trauma, from family and school. Everything you said related to me. I am learning to put ME first and making sure I am taking care of. My cup is full before I pour into someone else. Let my no be no and yes be yes,without guilt. Great message.

[@divergentsr_us341]

I needed this. It’s crazy because I was just wondering what life would be like if I told the ones I love and who say the love me “NO” would the conditions of the love they have change? Chances are yes ! People pleasing is literally the worst. I love you for this message. Thanks so much

[@nmc5778]

This is honestly so true. I’ve started to open my eyes more. I’d always here from close ones “you’re so nice” all the time, whilst they were taking advantage of me.

[@jenniferlynn7712]

Amen! I had that Year's ago! I realize it's about loving ourselves and everyone isn't going to love us. It's okay, God and myself love me!💃🏽❤🙏🏽😊

[@olgaignashova6736]

This is true. I'm one of the nicest most forgiving people you will ever meet and I still get treated like trash.

[@thetruthsideswiththeoppressed]

Thanks for being so transparent. I can say the same for myself, always being the one to care for and help others. As the years progressed, being the nice guy only made me miserable because ppl expect you to be and do (for them) despite the fact that they are/have NEVER been there for me. I had to cut everyone else off and live for (hopefully God) and myself. You definitely hit home with this one. Appreciate the video.

[@Sheperdsdaughter]

This is my sunday gospel! Thank you MJ!

[@maritzabonilla6660]

MJ you are 100% right. Alot of us don't realize it. But alot of us are just like that. What we once had to learn for protection, for some it has negative impact. We need to re-learn our very own self-worth in the world, and teach the world to really see us because we are worth it!

[@jaytibee]

People pleasing can be very detrimental in all types of relationships because it can be placed as a higher priority than DISCERNMENT. Bad intentioned people bank on that to use you, make your life hell, or project their toxicity onto you. Protect yourself, that way you can genuinely be nice to people who actually deserve it including yourself!