"He Will WANT MORE With You!" - Stop Chasing & Do This Instead... | Matthew Hussey

[@LisaBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@SultanOfThrones]

I know a man that still wants to marry a "woman" that cheated on him with 3 different guys. I dont understand anything.

[@esmediamond]

girl ever heard of cultural appropriation?

[@katiethepro]

Don't worry Lisa. We can hide in plain sight anywhere - just kidding xx;-)

[@Melanin_so_sweet]

Exactly!

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

​@@SultanOfThrones 😢 bless him

[@charlieaugust1715]

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and move on

[@allenie5910]

Sounds simple but hits deeper 🤗

[@Gm36909]

😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤👏👏👏👏Short and deep

[@happym3008]

life is not personal m took years to get it Ppl just do what is good for them Its always about them Let it go

[@keritho5578]

😂

[@PeterPan-je1oq]

​@@allenie5910your so beautiful

[@outroseok]

it's crazy how much power a man you didn't even know 3 weeks ago can have over your emotions and mental health.... I was fine before I met him, I'll be fine without him.

[@tiffanyyisrael7989]

It's crazy.

[@clip012]

Don't be like me. I let it slide for 14 years, until one day in 2021 he made it clear he will not marry me. I was so heart broken, I cried for 2 years. Only now, getting back to dating scene, I am learning knowledge on relationship I could find now. Trying to do it the right way this time. But still emotionally I have mini heart break here and there. This kind of video, make me not stray from the right path. If there is one thing I learned from 2 years of crying, is that I don't die from heart break. I will be fine.

[@jesscateyesquad]

I have been with my 18 years. I marriage it sucks

[@mitchalvarez3038]

Exactly the situation I'm in now and same thinking..😂😊😢

[@fmckenzie106]

I want divorce

[@gulpari8222]

If he wants you, he’ll make sure you know. If he’s playing around and making you feel confused, he isn’t serious with you.

[@nimfall]

wrong he is testing you

[@Thriftyabundance]

Explain. Please.

[@Thriftyabundance]

@@nimfall explain

[@nimfall]

@@Thriftyabundance if woman are chasing rich and handsome man then they will not take you seriously

[@nikevabrown6614]

@@nimfall and why should a woman deal with being tested? Who has time for games?

[@kaicanyonellis]

2:30 "Instead of watching the story unfold, we've created the story before it's happened." That's fire right there.

[@sassenachdragon]

Ain’t that the truth?? I’ve had these conversations go through my head when a guy cancelled on me, I held it in and lo and behold he reached out later that evening (it was prime time and he was talking to me). So yeah the conversations you have going into hyperdrive in your head can drive you nuts!! His reason for cancelling was real and we’re planning to make up for that date this weekend. But like Matthew suggested I’m leaning into the building we’re building not the narrative in my head and we’re getting closer!!

[@kaicanyonellis]

@@sassenachdragon that's great to hear! Always trying to get better about that myself. Good luck to you on building your building together!

[@mihaelagadinceanu977]

True

[@Radeo]

Young people have the luxury of coming to such conclusions as "watch the story unfold"...because they have time to watch the story unfold. Then when the young who have "watched the story" unsuccessfully unfold several times already have become older, they experience less and less the sense of "watch the story" unfold, and more and more some sense of a biological imperative to "get this done".

[@noticeyourneighbor8649]

Yesssss! 🔥

[@nikevabrown6614]

Men are simple. Men go after women they want with true intention. If a woman is confused about where she stands with a man that’s all she needs to know. Confusion means he’s not interested….period! Men do not need help pursing women they ACTUALLY want. Take heed!

[@Nikki.....]

take into account the love bombers. they make you think that they're so into you and love you but when they get you and you've fallen for them, it all changes. it needs to be consistent.

[@WernTheDRUID]

You don’t know a single thing about human psychology do you.

[@PhoenixAurelius-138]

Problem is, the confusion is really a sign within the woman that she has issues she needs to look at and be honest about. Sometimes we create our own outcomes in relationships by being jealous, confused, overthinking, reading too much into a man's actions - but the first question a woman must ask is: why do I feel this way? ... If she looks deeper into that question and sees that the man's actions are inconsistent or questionable, that's one thing. But what if she's actually acting from her own subconscious fears, doubts, and past relationship trauma and putting that interpretation on the man's actions?

[@nikevabrown6614]

@@PhoenixAurelius-138 very valid points here!! Thanks for sharing.

[@ag197906]

I needed to hear this as painful as it may be. Thank u

[@kaylaxx2037]

Heavens!! Ladies, all we need to remember is: if a man likes, you will know it. If he doesn't, you will be confused. It is that simple.

[@jendabekCZ]

As a man I am telling you it isn't. There are many reasons why a guy can struggle to be clear with his feelings and telling you directly what he wants.

[@serimanulusoy6511]

@@jendabekCZgood to know 🙏! Thank you !

[@abhishek2026]

you are stupid in your thoughts.

[@lifewithjesseneemachase5404]

@@jendabekCZwhat are some of the reasons?

[@jendabekCZ]

@@lifewithjesseneemachase5404 Low self-esteem, shyness, fear of rejection, the presumption that he will impress with disinterest, insecurities, phobias...

[@Elson2Entertainment]

And just because a man wants you does not mean that he's good for you or he wants you for the right reasons!

[@acd1168]

This. 💯

[@SexyBlackkk]

🙌🏽

[@missykasi8248]

When I met my husband I literally "interviewed" him to see if we were compatible. Values, beliefs, moral standards are what keeps you together through all of life's difficult moments.

[@מלי-ש4ג]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@shellyjohnson7964]

May I have a copy of ‘said interview’?😅

[@Z-gg3fc]

We all need to do this , why waste time not having these important conversations . See it’s her husband now, Months later you realize you guys are not a match. Need to know before proceeding if you are compatible. I’m trying now to ask more questions. ❤

[@BugDrivenExplorer]

Could you share these interview questions😅

[@kasiswanson6012]

They should teach this in schools!

[@og6920]

How about instead of "reading into things" or overthinking and worrying about what the other person is thinking or doing or feeling, we just be honest with each other. Jesus christ, the games people play.

[@Alieortwo]

Thing is.. most men promise a lot but lie.

[@hawkeyesonthewallwatchmanf9032]

And you couldn't say that without cursing God, hmmm

[@Lina-cy2yc]

in theory. I've tried all the ways. Was honest and open and the truth is.. old and simple as that: if he's into you he is, and he will find the way to be be with you. If he isn't, you can find million of reasons, and that's not gonna change the fact he's not into you. Also most of the ppl are not ready for being super open. I think as adults we've developed more subtle ways of telling ppl things, and it doesn't have to in the verbal ways.

[@ellyrenee]

@@Alieortwo then they’re not the right man for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@pinacolada1393]

People want to have someone on the side while they wait for someone better. When playing the field you must keep your guard strong.

[@GodHelpMe369]

Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on. It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the damn illusion/fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period.

[@afihaileywibowo1095]

So true...so true

[@Julie60-l9g]

I love it...thank you😊

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

What if you did something bad…😮😢

[@Vibrantlifestyle]

Love This ❤

[@RoseBlack-n7v]

That's just words tho, perhaps you are a slob in reality. Not saying you are, just making a point

[@louisenglish8069]

This conversation alone is exhausting

[@KgwittheTEA]

It IS😅

[@hslntshrndz1795]

Ditto😄

[@crystalanamericaninsicily]

Love is not what you say but what you do.

[@KgwittheTEA]

Easy!!! Yes❤😊

[@Joshualuv13]

I find as a woman that often guys give mixed messages because they throw u enough attention to get u into bed, but then not enough for pursuing a relationship, which becomes clearer as it unfolds but gives one hope initially.

[@juliafisher5844]

No change there then!

[@osolvholts]

🎯

[@tabbylove86]

Yeah

[@DaddysBoyOtis]

It's not about the man here in this case it's about women knowing what they want and not tolerating mixed messaging the clearer you are with yourself the better and healthier it will be

[@tinyking11]

💯‼️

[@phoenixrising8860]

I think it’s easier to get over someone you haven’t slept with .

[@DivestedConfessions]

💯💯💯💯

[@Jenny-np6ht]

Of course

[@desireevandermei]

Absolutely

[@wrangelinhabitant161]

No😂hell not😂

[@ang-a]

No. It's worst if you made an emotional connection. And you can make that without having sex if the conversation flows

[@cherylross393]

If a man wants you,you'll know.....period if not you're not the one!😮😢 Don't chase people who are going away have some respect for yourself. It hurts but chasing isn't the answer

[@Creating2413]

I have trouble on the other end. I second guess what I have. I have been with my boyfriend 3 years. He doesn't like to talk about the relationship and when I bring something up he acts like I need to relax.

[@Katiejones-h9e]

It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.

[@user-fy3mh3yj9y]

I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.

[@Katiejones-h9e]

Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.

[@user-fy3mh3yj9y]

I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.

[@Katiejones-h9e]

I promise you will not regret it.

[@user-fy3mh3yj9y]

I just searched for Father Akunna online. impressive thank you so much one again ❤

[@BreNichols94]

I let my ex leave and live his life and I went on to live mine. I learned to accept that I may be alone for ever and became ok with that. 2-3 yrs later, he came back and showed tremendous changes in behavior from the way he was treating me before. Turns out he went and dated someone much worse than me and realized how good he had it with me. Now he’s doing everything right.

[@dustymauve8636]

I wish you all the best! Does he still carry on with his good behavior or was it just hoovering? Please let me know!

[@Z-gg3fc]

Oh hell no! He went around sticking his Thing in other women and he’s probably not a good man so nobody wants him and he decided to come crawling back to the sucker that would only take him. Now he’s Doing everything right?? After he is done having his fun, that will not last. Don’t be so pathetic

[@Z-gg3fc]

@@user0m170 if your okay with knowing he felt like you were not good enough for him in the first place and went around with other women and sleeping with them and Then came back to you? Low self esteem. Have some respect for yourself. Also he will do it again guaranteed. I would never even take back an ex unless it was a shorter period with no body else involved.

[@BreNichols94]

@@Z-gg3fc I never said he cheated or left me for another woman. I said I let him go. 2-3 years is a long time. I lived my own separate life and he lived his. There's no rule saying you can't date when you're single lol like what..? And it wasn't me that wasn't good enough, but he wasn't mature enough at the time for an adult relationship. We were like 24 or 25 and he still had a lot of growth within himself to overcome. Your preference of being broken up but not exploring what your personal needs are or expecting the other person to do the same is unrealistic and shows signs of much lower self esteem/fragile ego than my situation for sure.

[@BreNichols94]

@@user0m170 I was definitely apprehensive about it and struggled a lot in making the decision to take him back for the same exact reasons. But I've been doing this thing where I completely disregard the advice of people who are single, traumatized, or bitter about very specific personal experiences, because their experiences are not my own and I cannot hold my potential partner responsible for the mistakes of someone we don't even know or are completely uninvolved in our romantic relationship. Don't let divorced parents, aunties, or single friends put their pain and anxiety onto you to scare you. Make your own mistakes. Have your own journey. Learn your own lessons. I wish you the best too!

[@AntonioBerger-b6j]

It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.

[@user-fy3mh3yj9y]

I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.

[@AntonioBerger-b6j]

Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.

[@user-fy3mh3yj9y]

I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.

[@AntonioBerger-b6j]

I promise you will not regret it.

[@user-fy3mh3yj9y]

I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤

[@cynthiagomes2979]

I'm going to wait on who God has for me. It will happen the way God wants it to. I will stay in my place as a woman, a child of God. He directs ALL of my paths. Our paths will cross when God wants them to.

[@tamasapatra397]

❤

[@charlottebruce979]

I did that. It took me 20+ years to find him, but all good things in God's time.

[@cynthiagomes2979]

@@charlottebruce979 I know!! 27 years for me!! I know who he is. In God's PERFECT timing!!

[@ElizabethReyes-np1kq]

My friends tell me, I have to do my part, God s not going to put your future husband right on front of you, you have to act as well. But I know God can make him happen just like that! Nothing is imposible when we believe in his power .❤️

[@cynthiagomes2979]

@ElizabethReyes-np1kq yeah, your friends are directing their own path. Making decisions for themselves. Walking with God and allowing him to direct your paths doesn't involve making decisions for yourself. Listen to your spirit.

[@virginiastrother4098]

Dudes smart. He knows exactly what’s up. Expectations are a killer. It’s really this simple… if they want you they make it happens.

[@stinabo77]

Good points and so true! Have to keep these stages in mind. 1. Admiration 2. Mutual connection/ chemistry 3. Commitment/ both saying yes 4. Compatibility ❤

[@cindys2995]

I agree with his steps, but I would rearrange it a little. I see no reason to commit and then assess compatibility. I need to check for that EARLY. Admire, compatible, then connect, then commit, for me.

[@cheekymonkeygirl3378]

Most people have problems with commitment and compatibility because they have a hard time committing and they want to do their own thing so they are not compatible.

[@svilenaninetta9838]

We had it all but not commitment from his side.

[@Enjoycapetownbysara]

@@cindys2995me too! But sometimes you don’t have the entire picture of compatibility before commitment

[@cindys2995]

@@Enjoycapetownbysara True

[@clip012]

5:02 slow down the story happening inside the brain by valuing the work that has been done in real life, don't value the potential. 5:38 4 stages of importance in potential relationship. 1) Admiration- not important, 2) Mutual Connection/ Chemistry- not important, 3) Commitment, saying yes to be in a relationship- not important, 4) Compatibility- important

[@thechildlessmillennial1538]

Actually he said stage 3 is important

[@Frederiekje221]

All true - untill you meet a borderliner.

[@hajji1509]

They are all important surely. Because for example if you have compatibility only without chemistry (sexual compatibility) that's just a friendship. That's guaranteed hurt down the line.

[@moka91808]

all my romantic relationships have been built on stories, fantasies of what I want the other person to be and not reality and its taken me 40-years to realize this. This was a great video to show me the process that relationships need to go through to become something real. Thank you!

[@anitachojnacki4512]

Mee TOO I'm not writing the story anymore....come and hunt me c%$#@

[@elgajones7028]

Exactly

[@priyanarain5705]

O my goddddddd exactly!!!!😢

[@kathyokelley9916]

Love this, "if my reaction is hysterical, then it is historical". Stay present, let the real story unfold, without filling in the details. Simple truths can change everything!!! Love this!

[@kisskiess]

❤❤❤

[@PhilippaBarnett-ny7pd]

Sometimes we have to say it to ourselves lots of times b4 we hear it, this don't we?! 🐾

[@o_m8717]

This guy is just so WISE. Thank goodness for his existence!

[@matthewjamesturner8]

Amen ❤

[@dawnowens1951]

If he or she disappears- leave that individual alone.

[@guitarsoundsaround]

Understood ✔️

[@dawnowens1951]

@@guitarsoundsaround although it’s difficult to leave them alone if they periodically pop up in your life. when they do that, it gives you a glimmer of hope and a dose of happiness. And you want more of it.

[@Goodwillwinoverevil1984]

@@dawnowens1951 Nah, you just know you're sloppy seconds at that point. Stick with your self respect. I'm doing that and I am definitely happier for it! 🙂

[@lizsue1031]

I love how you listen to the men. Nodding, Eye contact, Occasional murmurs of agreement, fully engaged, but no interrupting! Letting him talk and share his thoughts and ideas. Great bonding and safe space building. Well done!

[@therarebreed6195]

Why is this me? I am so in my head about dating anf finding the right person that my entire life revolves around it. I do make a story, get attached to it, and then get hurt when it doesnt unfold right. I genuinely miss being a child when none of this was a factor in my life.

[@niyantagupta1329]

U are not alone ...same here also

[@philipcallado5693]

Mark Manson put it simply: if it’s not a f-k yes, it’s a no. If you shoot your shot and they make excuses or show hesitancy, then it’s no and time to move on.

[@EmilyMarcello-vz7jr]

Yes!!! Hesitation and non-communication IS communication.

[@jessicasinclair323]

Come from nothing with no expectations. Dance in actual face to face conversations you have with them, (not on the phone or on social media). Expect nothing and enjoy being present in the moment. Leave your fantasies behind. If you both truly appreciate and enjoy the present interaction with one another, you may very well become platonic friends which is so much more rewarding than sexual relationships in general

[@RoseBlack-n7v]

@@jessicasinclair323 I appreciate one point that is incredibly powerful, 'Enjoy being present in the moment ' However another point, 'expect nothing' seems to manifest, nothing. We certainly shud expect abundance, in a natural faith in the universe. The "expect nothing" Comes from a negative perspective, the universe law, practices a grateful abundance expectation, manifests easy and swiftly

[@RoseBlack-n7v]

@@jessicasinclair323 I appreciate one point that is incredibly powerful, 'Enjoy being present in the moment ' However another point, 'expect nothing' seems to manifest, nothing. We certainly shud expect abundance, in a natural faith in the universe. The "expect nothing" Comes from a negative perspective, the universe law, practices a grateful abundance expectation, manifests easy and swiftly

[@jessicasinclair323]

@@RoseBlack-n7v Often expectations are unrealistic. But, when you expect nothing. You can create in the moment.

[@RoseBlack-n7v]

@@jessicasinclair323 ??? I don't understand

[@jessicasinclair323]

@@RoseBlack-n7v when you have no preconceptions it is easier to dance in the conversation and create what you have together in the moment

[@agnesr.4664]

Four stages of a relationship (around 5:20): 1. Admiration. 2. Connection/Chemistry (mutual admiration). 3. Commitment (Saying yes to each other). 4. Compatibility. -> This was a revelation to me. I guess, I am at maybe stage 2 - now we need to see if it is worth moving forward. And it would not be a DRAMA to decide if that is not. Basically, my take from this: Don't write the story before it happens by forbidding things to develop without pressure. THANK YOU, Matthew. There's clearly wisdom in what you are saying about this topic. Appreciate it.

[@rehemaparmena4714]

Shouldn't stages 3 and 4 be switched ? I think compatibility should come before committment.

[@otaku4Gaijin]

​@rehemaparmena4714 Right. Or more accurately, compatibility (I), commitment, compatibility (II). There are some things we cannot know without actually taking risk and being in a relationship with a person; however, many do-or-die questions regarding values, beliefs, lifestyle, past relationships, upbringing (attachment style), mutual future direction in life should be known before commitment is made. Then, go from there to see whether you're TRULY compatible.

[@Sfw20brinoue]

When he got to stage 2 he said he feels too emotionally into me he wants less meeting time and less talking time to get clarity

[@Jdancejoy11]

It’s more than that. Our nervous system craving safety we don’t have within ourselves.

[@tinyking11]

This interview was amazing. He’s spot on. I’m definitely the one that overthinks or catches feelings from great chemistry & conversation bc I don’t connect with too many men. It’s rare for me.

[@Hmy87]

Same for me. I feel weird sometimes around other people because I can’t move on easily as I can’t see many people. It’s so overwhelming for me.

[@gumaber_]

Same for me. It’s hard to connect so I get attached so easily when it happens.

[@tinyking11]

@@gumaber_ You just described me. I’m picky af when it comes to men but when I find someone I’m actually attracted to on all levels I become head over heels bc it rarely happens. In the end I always get played or love bombed. Now I’m currently dating men I’m not attracted to or don’t like bc I always benefit in the end. 🤦🏽‍♀️😐 I hate dating bc it never works out for me long term. The feelings are never mutual. Most mehn I’m attracted to only Lust for me they don’t genuinely like me.

[@gumaber_]

@@tinyking11 i was a victim of love bombing too. I hope you find the right guy for you so you can be with someone you really like.

[@tinyking11]

@@gumaber_ Thanks so much for the positivity I receive it. I wish the same for you as well. 🙏🏽❤️

[@amanac5403]

I was needing to hear those words today. Stop chasing and be the chased. Thank you ♡

[@guitarsoundsaround]

Yeah, hard pass. That’s a time waster. Get out there and chase ladies! One will want your company eventually.

[@nscales20]

I’m just glad I’m not the only who does everything he described. I thought I was so crazy. I’ve done this all my life and I would feel so ridiculous.

[@janataylor6869]

I know, right?! 😅 Even some men do this

[@staejaye1910]

Same

[@aeliciaallen8268]

Me too❤

[@rhiannon-bv9rk]

It's about wanting to be in control and NOT REALLY GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER!!!

[@samaracharlotin]

I unfortunately just did this. I went on a trip to a different state and although the trip wasn't for this guy, I intended to hang out with him AND we planned to see each other, yeah well he completely ghosted me and it was our 2nd time hanging out (it legit was an amazing time and he was acting like I wanted as in it was a dream ) and its crazy bc I legit created this story in my head before even meeting him. I pursued him instantly and although everything went perfect both times we hung out, he only saw me one day out of the trip. I was so heartbroken but then when I got back home like this is our 2nd time hanging out and yes he was definitely going along with telling me he feels the same and blah blah, but I calmed down when I got back home after blaming myself for so much. moral of the story, just realized I shouldn't of romanticized so much on this person when we barely even know each other. my toxic trait is wanting these things so bad, so already creating a script of our lives and then get heartbroken when this person doesn't think the same, lol yes im insane but im a lover girl and when I feel the connection its like the thing to me. idk crazy/ Matthew soooo spot on, needed to vent this out.

[@burnerinsyd]

I hear you! That's me too unfortunately. And even though I'm aware of it now I still fall in the same trap. I just claw myself out of it faster now.

[@shaunajones3244]

No your not. I used to do this too. I learned my lesson though.

[@y.e.9907]

Did this as well lol

[@CrockyDile15]

I'm like this too girl 😂 I realized I need to chill, and simply let the man lead.

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.

[@Ameryarina]

I learnt the hard way that saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult when a 12-year relationship ends. But I was unable to let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counsellor, and he was able to assist me in getting him back.

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

Interesting-sounding! How can I most efficiently get in contact with a spiritual counsellor that you recommended?

[@Ameryarina]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@Ameryarina]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤

[@julietruesdell.371]

Love is a choice to do everyday..it's not selfish or single minded..settle disputes quickly before the wrong outcome effects to the point of not continuing and growing..nurture each other..love all his or her insecurities and fears..please communicate!

[@indigenouscuisines1446]

Dont want to chase and dont wish to be chased. Learn and Practice self love is most important for women I feel..❤

[@DayaMcCarthy]

This man gives amazing knowledge that doesn't just apply to romantic relationships but friendships as well

[@cindys2995]

Experience has taught me that COMPATIBILITY is FIRST or SECOND. Why get involved before that? ASK tough questions and do that work EARLY! Once you're in, you'll be way more likely to ignore flags!

[@Jackyguty]

This is soo true . You’ll definitely ignore the red flags cuz you want to hold on to the relationship

[@DaddysBoyOtis]

Compatibility will never be first because in order to start talking to someone you have to have the initial attraction

[@cindys2995]

@@DaddysBoyOtis I'm not talking about attraction. Obviously you have an initial interest. I said what life has taught ME about getting involved further.

[@k-luffydev1686]

I know its a long shot in the dark for anyone to read this or for him to come back to me, i had a rough childhood and never felt safe or seen neither from family nor friends, when i met and he hugged me for the first time in my 32 years or living i felt it, i felt safe and that i could let go and be who i want to be, and he treated me with utmost care and gave me all the hints he wants to be with me, but only to say lets end it before someone gets hurt, i get it.. but i wish i could feel it again, i wish i could be with him but i dont want to force it, i will be fine, just a little tired.

[@joannegomes5099]

I feel a weight lifted.. by this message.. I want a man.. but he does not want me... I have been building my and driving my self nuts story.. . thank you for this message

[@i.I.j]

I am seeing this guy and we have a amazing connection that we both have noted. I've been celibate for a few years we did the "dance" amazing. After I felt a little confused on what "this" was and I might have traded in my celibacy for uncertainty. Well without me even mentioning anything( as it's my problems) he told me how he felt, he made his feeling completely clear for me. We now know what it is❤❤. When a man wants something with you he will make his feelings, plans and desires very clear.

[@TeenWolfFan1011]

Wow, that’s exactly what I’m dealing with as well. I am seeing a guy, I have also been celibate for a few years. We have an amazing connection and have a lot in common. Then we did the deed on the second date and I also feel confused and I also feel like I should have waited and that the ball is really now in his court since I gave it up. Now I feel as if he is not talking to me as he used to, there are really no “good mornings” anymore. So it feels like he is distancing himself from me.

[@ritaportus]

O​@@catharinamariatheresia1626

[@PhilippaBarnett-ny7pd]

It comes from shame that I colluded in. .. ....I used to be involved with someone who was initially together with his partner, living together with their children & i feel so much guilt & shame about it as it was the story of my childhood that one person left the other & it broke them. .....

[@guitarsoundsaround]

I’m exchanging celibacy for certainty. I’ve waited way way way way too long as is for a conversation. It’s not a joke anymore.

[@guitarsoundsaround]

Note to self: incompatible. Got it. Loud and clear.

[@alexandra2536]

Some people say we fall in love fast with specific people because of our connections from past lives.

[@jennyrenaud2411]

I believe this as well.

[@joannemenon4901]

1000% truth.

[@Inca1122]

Better than any therapy. Listen on repeat!

[@user-yf1qm6hm5f]

chemistry, connection, commitment, compatibility

[@olayinkacredle]

You forgot the first one, admiration

[@ann-mariecapaldi3909]

People who are truly are into you allows others to patiently let Devine timing to take over

[@ConradKurtMorgan]

How true is this ?

[@yomiseno]

I do not want him to come to me, I wanna be left alone and be happy.

[@cynthiakila1161]

He’s answering illogical questions logically . This is truth. ❤

[@starbright2683]

It is not "insane" to feel heartbreak after three weeks. Many people get engaged or married in three months!

[@preciousmousse]

My self confidence, independence, ease with myself and my sexuality are at nuclear levels. It took a lot of working on my independence, dreams and mental health, and I can tell you that looking at things from this side, men are used to being begged for, to play games feeling confident that they are the master manipulator in the game, and, ultimately, used to being this version of themselves that wastes their own time on b*s* and ego boost. I'm not drawing any quality comparison between sexes (I've never dated women nor will), I'm just describing what I observe from the bright side. Thank you for your work, Matthew, it’s definitely been part of my journey! 🙏

[@sheilazimmerman3905]

I began to value the friendship more than anything, and I’m so happy I did🌸

[@patriciapeeters7]

Selflove is key!!!!!

[@teresapesce8432]

Douglas and Zeta-Jones were first introduced in 1998.”I had been told Michael Douglas wanted to meet me,” the Chicago actress told Larry King in 2001. “I was a little nervous because I didn’t quite know what he wanted to meet me about.” Douglas and Zeta-Jones were first introduced in 1998.”I had been told Michael Douglas wanted to meet me,” the Chicago actress told Larry King in 2001. “I was a little nervous because I didn’t quite know what he wanted to meet me about.” Meanwhile, the Falling Down actor knew immediately that the duo would have a future together - but worried that a cheesy pickup line might have ruined his chances. “I said to her after about half an hour [of hanging out], ‘You know, I’m going to be the father of your children,’” he revealed during a 2016 appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show. “It sounded good, and she said, ‘You know, I’ve heard a lot about you and I’ve seen a lot about you, and I think it’s time I say goodnight.'” To correct his mistake, The Kominsky Method star sent her flowers and an apology, which seemed to work. He proposed to his love in 1999 and they said “I do” nearly one year later.

[@starbright2683]

I am SO tired of hearing people say that if something hurts your feelings, it is because you must have unresolved trauma in your childhood. How about being ghosted by someone you are consistently talking to, dating, and possibly sleeping with, at any point in a relationship, is traumatic and horrible! Stop invalidating the feelings, experiences, and expectations of women!

[@desi9358]

Well said

[@RomyaRana]

Th3 other day i was thinking, These idiotic sitcoms like Himym and friends has destroyed the idea of GRIEF, these mofos are laughing among their friends, hopping in bed with someone in the next episode. Real life sucks! In real life being apart from someone hurts like shit, as if someone has punched you in the guts, you cry, cant think or work properly... idiotic hollywood dramas. Fck em

[@sallybella8824]

Invalidating the expectations is logical and reasonable when the expectations are based on pure fantasy. It's called grow up.

[@takentoday]

Both of those things can be true. Being attracted to someone who isn't confident about how they feel with you can be a trauma response. It's not invalidating to say that - it still matters and it's still important wherever it comes from

[@winspiff]

You are saying that someone who already was invested in building suddenly left. Being upset about that isn’t hysterical, it is understandable and valid. Hysterical would be if someone you’d never met ghosted you in the first date, and you were upset for weeks mourning what could have been. That’s what he’s talking about.

[@chrisgervais2985]

I find the most beautifulest relationship to ever come is when two people are just being together instead of always getting into that duality of the Mind and be actually just present and live the moment with no expectations no attachments and let the universe bring the Beautiful blessings instead of want do and have why don't we just be have and do life would be so much simpler without any questions doubts or answers we like to complicate things so much for no reason

[@lucianadosanjos4070]

Compatibility is so important! Couldn't agree more with Matt

[@tk28001]

Comparability needs to be discussed first and foremost, not after the commitment

[@Chrissy.H]

He is good. There is a reason he is top of his game.

[@SharieFoster]

The magnificence of your clarity on this VERY IMPORTANT subject is PIVOTAL, educational and life changing. THANKYOU Matthew! And thank you, Lisa for hosting him.

[@Ill06Taco]

Telling men and women to do the exact same thing...this should go well

[@TopZsi]

in july i met a toxic guy. he triggered exact those things: why didnt he answer for a day? why isnt he asking me for more dates? i always felt insecure when i was in touch with him, then i let him go.. now i met someone new and im so hoping we go on dates! he is triggering the complete opposite: we didnt even exchange numbers and im SO GLAD we only can meet in person (we studying in the same building) - not asking myself why does he not reply? shall i text? will i annoy him? no, just complete oldschool. if we wanna meet, we need to go to the classroom we are working in. fingers crossed i can finally have a healthy relationship

[@YGb-127]

Imo, compatability must be identified before going into commitment. Yes, you need flexibility and leniency. Just dont compromise on compatability.

[@ainenicsuibhne4835]

A M A Z I N G! You’ve just cracked it for me. I was one of those women who had a fixed outcome in my mind and wanted things to play out as I had envisaged it should, instead of focusing on what was actually playing out in real time. The 4 stage process makes a whole lot of sense. Will apply this in all future situations/connections. Thank you 🙏🏼😊

[@waterlilynymph]

It’s very confusing and frustrating when a man makes promises, says they love you and want to be with you and talks to you more than just about sex. So she is absolutely right. How are women supposed to read behind all the mixed messages and emotions guys give out? We aren’t assuming anything, we are taking them at face value for what they are actually telling us. Because one of the most important foundations is trust.

[@DaddysBoyOtis]

Because men have issues n traumas and insecurities just as much as women. It's about learning to stand up for what you want and have boundaries and if someone doesn't meet you where you're at then they're done

[@spyderqueentrading]

Instead of watching a story unfold we try to create the story instead.... THAT was great!!

[@joancarol1970]

This video will help us all to grow up and to stop hurting ourselves

[@StarLightPlanets]

Relationships Is The Prosses Of Building A Soiled Foundation Based On Actual Values And Principles,Morals , Of Love And wisdom, Understanding, Honesty. Compatible Is Most Important Brick Of This Foundation First.

[@anonanon8974]

Holy moly. This was terrifying to watch. Mind-blowingly accurate.

[@insightful_fairy8743]

If men were just honest and up front with how they feel then women wouldn’t have to wonder all this! Lol

[@sallybella8824]

But they are! If they want you you will know and feel it in security and stability. If they don't you will feel confusion. That's it.

[@brennam954]

@@sallybella8824If they play games with you, love bomb you, then you won't necessarily know. It's only something that's revealed with time.

[@888alp]

Yes, this is true

[@taytaybaby6]

I love Matthew. He has real answers and he’s very genuine.

[@ConradKurtMorgan]

Most people get caught up in a situation where they fall deeply in love with someone that gives them all they’ve been looking for in a relationship, they feel that comfort and security whereas the person does not actually love them. How can you get out of such situations?

[@patricialantigua]

You’re so right!!! I never want anyone in my life that can’t pick up a phone and call me. I’ve worked too hard on myself to not just heal , but made Whole by GOD YEHOVA THE CREATOR. And trust me, my brain took me there once and I learned and realized I was the problem. I had to ask my self ,”what do I need to deal with internally that I thought it was okay to be treated that way?” If anyone doesn’t like me, want me or celebrate me. Be it a lover or friends or family. I dust my feet and go. I don’t get offended or hurt. I just go 😆 now and theres so much peace in that. I want and need the stages one to 4 and a future.

[@coachtammyspeaks]

OMG! If the reaction is hysterical, its historical. That is epic!

[@sarablackwolfdancer9359]

I got a little too excited about him confirming attendance at a party, asking if he should bring something, showing up just a LITTLE early carrying something to contribute even though he was told he didn’t need to. It wasn’t even my party lol. He told me months ago he wasn’t in a place in his life to get involved with anyone, so I remained friendly but detached and recently his behavior has changed. Doesn’t mean he has any intention towards me, could very well mean he’s lost some of his control, but it doesn’t feel that way. I caught myself wanting to offer to be his friend, whatever he wanted, but realized I can’t do that to myself again (historical). So I will keep going on with my life, being friendly, and if he eventually decides to come alongside me, okay then.

[@sandramirekuayim1161]

Well sometimes we do create stories before they occur by the help of our instincts. More often than not, whatever we envisaged wasn't so far from the truth. Some men can be really toxic!

[@karamhrich2]

Admiration, connection, actual commitment, compatibility (way/ stage of life )

[@priscillarose_]

On point we create a story line and when it doesn’t happen frustration follows and because we expected something.

[@aeliciaallen8268]

😂❤ true indeed

[@angiep8217]

That was me

[@naomydorah8773]

❤

[@tinydream]

Expectations kill joy

[@nemzzzy]

totally off topic, just wanted to say Lisa has one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen in my life... just mesmerizing!

[@rubyru8007]

Long story short : live in the now , in the moment not in the future not in the past

[@CA-hl4hi]

Sometimes there are reasons why he or she cannot invest at present. It needs to be your choice if you stay or not. Timing is everything- it may not be the right timing for both of you.

[@myrrh9420]

Wow this man is so spot on! Thank you for breaking down how we create stories instead of allowing the story to unfold. Gave me such clarity! 🙌🏾

[@jadestewart7499]

Honestly I think if you feel desperate for a relationship this is what happens, you over think it

[@sandramirekuayim1161]

I strongly agree cos what more could make us victims of such unpleasantries...

[@c.h.5559]

Spot on ! This bloke is as super into m after 1 meet up .., he didn’t even ask me Q so he doesn’t really know me .. I would think I looked attractive to him without trying hard I mean . Then as the week progressed I felt uncomfortable as I couid tell in his communication he was sold / done thinking I’m all in ( even tho he didn’t actudlly check in with me) and he didn’t show any effort to plan ahead .. kept asking me to Calll and drop in .. kept asking wjtnni finish woek wooah dude .. invest more !!!! I can be trim if to help too straightforward but he wasn’t reading my little signs . I was getting stressed . it ended up resolving unexpectedly easily when I did something important to me but usually wouidnt so early … I asked if he’d listen to a little something on health & wellness I was listening to that was fascinating and I’d like to share . I said in text that health is trying to be the most healthy and hsppy is important to me …. He said “ good luck to you “ and dropped communication 😮. Well clearly he wants to keep drinking and regularly visiting the pub snd run from any hint of health .., so not my guy !! I’m glad I was “me “upfront

[@spleenog]

What to do when no sign of a relationship comes to you though? You end up looking for it.

[@juddyrichards416]

True that's a lesson I learnt the hard way to a point I was the one buying them things I went ahead to beg that he becomes my friend which he refused and blocked me then we met by chance he reached out but I gave him the silent treatment I rarely replied to his texts least calls he drew the line over the sand and I am glad he did am not an option not to him not to anyone.

[@nidhichaubey7581]

Admiration Connection/chemistry Commitment Compatibility

[@zinedinezidane4771]

Agree all this dating tips give me anxiety.. can't we just be real and honest. Is that too much to ask. We are all too broken anyways to hold meaningful relationships it's literally a lot out here when it comes to dating.

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

Exactly all these stupid games al the time

[@sandramirekuayim1161]

People are just mean, bleeding on those that didn't cut them. Cos why should mutual love be this complicated...

[@TheMisssy2]

It sucks that it is so true that compatibility ends many relationships...I was a day person, he was a night....I never thought anything could break us....

[@nevenaprokic]

Great video.. I realized that I overvalued 2nd and hint of 3rd stage in early phase of my last relationship. After 5 days of great connection and time we’ve spent together (we live in neighbouring countries) He started “playing games” in messaging. Hot n cold behaviour. He was also loving and full of compliments but still provoking me in messages. I couldn’t stand that. Like he wanted to push my limits. I didn’t trust him at all and we fell apart. He was a wrong choice.

[@samijust8689]

Sadly, this was super helpful. After 20 years of marriage I’m single and super annoyed with myself for catching feels and seeing a potential future with a man that wasn’t as into me. Thankfully, I figured it out quickly, but I still find myself morning a happy ending when the prologue wasn’t even written. Now, what’s my freaking story gonna be? Can you hear that song playing, “I need to know”? I guess in the mean time I’ll count my blessings and enjoy what I’ve got going on because one day someone is going to wonder what was wrong with that character that didn’t make it into my plot and he’ll be so fortunate to be my hero.

[@ranikster9955]

Yes!!! Let the guy go, and see if he comes if after you. If he does, then maybe he deserves you.

[@laetitia9652]

Nope! If he comes after you it’s because you’re now an option.

[@anhpam9205]

Matthew sure tells it like it is. Word for word! He is so skilled. How I wish I'd known all of this long ago! Thanks to you too Lisa.

[@supfreshes36]

It's true, us men will try and be direct and let you know we're interested especially if we're serious. But a lot of issues we run into are related to women making it difficult. At the end of the day we will pursue those we're interested in and make those intentions known, but if a woman makes that difficult for us, we're going to move on to something more effortless. That's something I see a lot of today.

[@helenlockwood1354]

He's describing limerence. A lot of people, especially women do this and often seek men who are unavailable in some way, either emotionally, geographically, etc. So that the rejection has already happened and there is nothing left to fear. Then sadly the brain fills in the gaps with stories created from tiny pieces of information, a fantasy if you will. Recognising this and discovering healthy relationships where both of you are fully available means you can move through the four stages Matthew mentions, and build a tangible future together.

[@Jenna-op9lx]

If the reaction is hysterical then it is historical. That is brilliant, Matthew! ❤❤❤

[@Lisa.pizzza]

Compatibility should be after connection. Makes no sense for it to be last.

[@irenehurtig266]

Yes we have no castle

[@AmberExista]

I love this so much. It makes me realize that in my past relationship I valued stage 2 so much when stage 4 didn't even exist - nothing was built because he would pull it down 10-30 percent in and we'd restart again and again.

[@khanyimasombuka]

"If the reaction is hysterical then its historical" wow ❤