Stop Romanticizing Self-Care

Hi Lovlies! Today I'm talking to you about how we all romanticize self-care, but no one talks about how it can be hard and frustrating, how it can push you out of your comfort zone and force you to confront things you’d rather keep in the background.
✨ What is self-care to you? Let me know in the comments! ✨
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[@evrtmorets]

The thing is, as I read 1 week ago on instagram: People loves talk about self care, self love, yoga but they get uncomfortable talking about suicidal thoughts, manic episodes, anxiety attacks, etc and that is the problem. People is like: take a bath, listen to music, play video games, eat something well if I have a problem with some people or if I live in a toxic environment, I struggle with my mental health and nobody understands me that doesn't help. For me sometimes self care is to decide to remove some people from my life, meditate, sometimes be alone and rest, connect with nature, stop getting mad with myself

[@louisaamabel708]

Word!!

[@annaekwurtzel4805]

Hi! So I mostly agree with you, but I just feel like I have to say that if some people get uncomfortable talking about certain stuff they might have a problem with said stuff themselves, please consider that everyone have stuff going on that you might not know of. Have a nice day!💕

[@midnightsss_1989]

Agreed!!

[@salime5761]

well sai it!!

[@sunsundks3891]

I Always thought it was part of it too To try to solve your problems

[@lianadimitrova4993]

Self care is actually the more loving version of self discipline 🤍

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@faakor4671]

Couldn't have said it better..

[@The8888Best]

For me self care is allow me to cry, because in my family it was always a bad emotion and they never allowed me to, or shamed me. Like WHY ARE YOU CRYING FOR? CALM DOWN. OR DONT CRY, YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY.

[@daishukiy4870]

I relate to this, sending love and hugs

[@eriswinterr]

this is something i relate too

[@x03.m]

Same. I was shamed for showing so called "bad emotions" and now it's so hard for me to be emotional with people. I cannot properly give or receive affection because of this reason too.

[@tracy2222]

@@x03.mI can totally relate. My best friend thinks I don't care about her but I really do. It's just that It's hard for me to show.

[@hazelmatheson3830]

Thank you I feel like self care should be something where you make your life better by doing things like cleaning, unfollowing people on social media and eating healthy. Not just doing a face mask.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

agreed! think it can be a bit of both :) 🙌🏻❤️

[@personallyjoua]

To me self care is a mental love and physical love. Mentally: exercise, daily affirmations, meditate and read. Physically: dressing up, following my acne treatment, happy time with the hubby!

[@niangbawitombing]

This is so true, self love to me is firstly about my mental health.

[@AI-ch3if]

Regarding meditation, I would watch Chris Lasala's KZbin video "New Age Movement or Satanic Con??"

[@MuchLove-3]

Self care can be romantic, but yes, I agree with you, most of the time, it means that listening to yourself and your inner voices with an open heart.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Exactly :)

[@MuchLove-3]

@@ValeriaLipovetsky 💕💕💕

[@svrarararrrr]

The psychologist I decided to visit told me that I’m weak and dumb (yes, it’s not a joke, toxic therapists exist🤦🏻‍♀️). This video helped me to understand that it was the act of self-care to quit our ‘practice’ and ask to bring back my money. Through tears and courage I made it...

[@ParanoidOwlet]

Jeez I’m sorry for your experience. What an a$$hole...

[@markellak2389]

Yes they exist as in every other aspect of life where you can find toxic people. Don't give up on psychologists though, if you need help, find a good one, one that suits you.

[@MissCupcakeslover]

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your experience Svitlana! It must have been incredibly difficult to open yourself up to a professional to only be shut down like this. As an aspiring therapist and someone who is currently undergoing therapy, please do not give up on therapy! There are immensely good therapists out there who will be able to really help you with your healing process. You are immensely strong for stopping your sessions and asking for your money back. I wish you loads of help on your healing journey and am sending you loads of love!

[@svrarararrrr]

@@MissCupcakeslover Thank you so much!

[@marinaSassygUrl88]

You’re strong. this move! I would’ve never been able to do so. Sorry for your experience 💜

[@RoseColoredGlasses]

Yes!!!!! Especially during winter I feel like self care takes so much energy. But it is a discipline that needs to happen.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

agreed 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@purplecowmovement7677]

I never thought of it as discipline but that makes so much sense yes

[@linmay4632]

For me, self-care started when I realized I am responsible for my own life! Which is daunting and exhilarating at the same time- to stop blaming circumstances and whatsoever, to get deeper down and ask myself who I am(and coming to terms with it - perks and the other half)and who do I want to be.

[@imnoemit]

Yes!

[@chelsearose.4945]

100%!

[@tinybird7362]

Love this. As someone who is trying to rebuild herself from the bottom up it’s 100% a struggle. A face mask and long bath isn’t going to help me face my debt, face the fear of answering the phone, calm the panic attacks or reduce the anxiety, help me forgive those that have torn me down etc. That all requires me pushing myself and sometimes it feels impossible.xx

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

it's definitely a journey that takes time and effort 🙏🏻🙏🏻 sending you lots of love!

[@helenebottger5699]

Hi :) somehow your text resonated with me... I have been on a self discovery journey myself lately, probably a couple years to be honest, and what i found that really helps me is chakra yoga. Maybe it could help you too :)) good luck!

[@gemmarhind5640]

Ahh bless you. You can do it! Time will pass anyway so push yourself! Xx

[@tinybird7362]

@@gemmarhind5640 thank you lovely 🥰

[@tinybird7362]

@@helenebottger5699 Hey, thank you! Really appreciate the advice. I had thought of starting yoga so I will definitely look into this.❤️ xx

[@Lizara14]

I feel that Valeria and those who agree with this sentiment misconstrue the term "self-care" and have mistaken it for self-improvement and other similar ideas. Self-care is totally about giving yourself a break and treating yourself with something nice every once in awhile to boost your mood and make yourself happy -- to avoid burnout. Essentially, it's something that will elevate your mental health through physical actions and activities. It's especially true for people who have great work ethic and are working hard to reach their goals. In English, different terms have different meanings. Self-care and self-improvement have their own sets of ideas and actions. Some may overlap, but the terms denote 2 different things. I 100% support self-improvement and life-improvement. But please don't take away what "self-care" really means. Because I discovered self-care, the kind that allows me to treat myself after lots of hard work and perseverance. Just to take a short break and enjoy the little things in life. Self-care still means the same to me.

[@whimsicaldiscovery7965]

Thank you for explaining what's the meaning of self care really is.

[@lilym6882]

Yes! Someone finally said it.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

hope you enjoyed watching 🙌🏻❤️

[@lilym6882]

@@ValeriaLipovetsky absolutely!

[@vblair2857]

@@ValeriaLipovetsky love you Valeria ♥ You just keep all things so clear and show how to admire even small things of life..

[@riiiiin]

Self care is learning to hold back negative thoughts for me. Im my own worst critic and a little self pat goes a long way for me. Im kinder to others, not as self concious, and most importantly more tuned in to the real negative aspects of my environment (instead of the made up ones in my head). I can be more constructive and efficient in problem solving once Im kinder to myself

[@weshasawi]

Self care this year has been starting therapy, and dealing with all the stuff I’ve brushed under the carpet for the past 30 years, including daddy issues, grief, low self esteem, dead end relationships, bullies in the workplace!!

[@Sophia-ge7js]

My self care is going to my therapist and recover from an ed. I tell you it's not fluffy and I am annoyed by this social media thing even if it's a good direction. Thanks for saying this, it's so true! It takes courage

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Sending you so much love my girl❤️❤️❤️

[@divaszone2729]

for me self care is about choosing what's right instead of what's easy

[@MegaPerson2011]

This is so true! Self-care is about long-term happiness, not short-term. Of course sometimes is good to take care of yourself when you are really tired at a certain moment (and that includes those bubble baths and all that). But the best self-care is when you are doing something that will really benefit you in the future, and that will make you feel proud of yourself!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Yes! love this 🙌🏻

[@raashibhardwaj4721]

self care is accepting the fact that you cannot control everything. out of context here but i cannot for the life of me make these hair buns!!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

shared a tutorial on them on my Instagram recently!

[@youngee-2889]

spread this comment, it deserves moooooooore attention

[@raashibhardwaj4721]

It’s like you know beforehand what we need ah. We have a true connection I believe. Hence proved.

[@kwoneunbie_0780]

Self care is making sure your future says “Finally, I did it😌.” And die a happy human being.

[@ShakiraJonay]

When I listen to the examples you give I think about mental health and mindfulness. I think the term “self-care” has a more whimsical and fun connotation.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Agreed!

[@Lizara14]

I agree with this. I don't think she should have labeled what she was talking about as "self-care" because it means something else.

[@kavya914]

Self to me is about breaking down walls that u built in order to survive and creating new ones that that help u thrive in order to become the person u wanna be❤️

[@kavya914]

Ive started my serious journey of self care like a year ago. And let me tell ya...it's so exhausting but so worth it. I like the person I am slowly becoming and that says a lot as I've struggled so hard hating myself my entire life. Val I love u so much..

[@tristian9006]

Self care is cutting friends out of your life that are bad influences. As much as it sucks. 😭

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

that can definitely be a part of it!

[@astroallycat]

love this! I saw a quote on self-care which I think summarises it nicely: "Self-care isn't doing things that make you feel good right now. Self-care is doing the things you don't necessarily want to do, but you know will benefit you in the future"

[@kiera6326]

It can be both. It’s about taking care of yourself, in any sense of the word.

[@imontosomething2609]

Glad to see someone else talk about this. Sitting at home binge watching your favorite tv show with a big bowl of ice cream won't take away your problems. Your anxiety is still there, your guilt and grudges are still there, your toxic friends/family or bf/gf are still there and your health issues are still there.

[@melaniekaram90]

The most honest and real talk ever made on this topic, keeping it real in a world where reality is an illusion .. great one Val ❤️ self care is being yourself no matter what your thoughts beliefs societal values family friends or any external factor are.. it’s just being a person growing up in a messy but beautiful universe.. figure out whatever makes you shine and happy and keep exploring it in all ways by appreciating everything that makes you present today. ⭐️

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

so happy to hear you liked it 🙏🏻 agree with all your points!

[@wiambouziane2509]

This also makes me think of the concept of "deserving happiness". Why should we consider it as something we "deserve"? How do we decide if someone deserves happiness or not? I learned to start thinking of happiness as something that it not a given. And that like anything in life, we have to consciously put an effort into it. Would love to hear everybody's thoughts on this : ))

[@rashmiverma4597]

How do I tattoo this video on my forehead? This is so real!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

😂😅 glad you liked it!

[@partyisheree]

Make a qr code of this and then get it tattooed 😂

[@rashmiverma4597]

@@partyisheree Hahaha 😂😂

[@tanya.dibrova]

I was literally talking about this with my friends the other day! I was telling her too that it wasn't just "bubble baths and facials" it's about growing, setting boundaries, getting rid of toxic people, etc. Loved this!

[@vivarosa1860]

I love what you said that 'Self-care is not about instant gratification.' The idea of elf-care has been used a great marketing tool to promote their products and whatnot. So, it takes a critical thinker to point out it does not work that way. Thank you for empowering everyone in this platform. 🌹

[@pasitapanda]

Thank you!! Self-care is not just a physical task, it also has to do with your mental heath. Your damaging habits. It's about finding the root cause of your problems which might be things like insecurities and work on that.

[@muhdeyam6281]

Valeria!! I love this. You are truly correct. What is striking here to me is when you said, “It’s about making a conscious effort to bring you closer to the person you want to become.” Definitely recognizing this statement to be true. Please make more sitdown vids like this where you talk about a particular topic and you share insights because I am definitely here listening and learning. Much love ❤️

[@mgerhardine8098]

Taking time for yourself when the least thing you want is to be alone. That has been a major game changer for me. So unbelievebly painful but it was ALWAYS worth it!

[@shreyakiranbhuyan2817]

I always say that self care is so time consuming energy consuming hard work and soul searching. Its painful and heart wrenching at times but with time, patience and determination you start seeing the results. I have been on this path of self upragadation and self care for over an year now but all the hard work is so worth it when you see yourself becoming better in your own eyes. I agree with everything you said. Self care is extremely important.

[@devshreepatel7605]

Yes!! This is the healthy conversation we want. To be able to say that things are hard when they are hard and not sugar coating it. To consciously accept the resistance you'll receive once you get out of your comfort zone. Loved the video!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Thanks for watching 🙌🏻🙌🏻❤️

[@siennaavery6101]

To me self-care, is waking up and acknowledging all of me feelings be it negative or positive and validating them, instead of being mad at myself for not being “perfect”. It’s about me trying to understand my emotions deeply, and doing something small every day that could help me in the areas im weaker in and wanting to work on e.g cooking a meal, doing some exercise, doing some homework. Just something that will help me improve myself, slowly but surely. It’s about realising that my needs should be my priority and it us okay that I take some time away from others to focus on myself. It is understanding that not everyone in my life can or will be there for me, and instead of forcing those relationships, I have to let it go or understand that different relationships manifest love in different ways. It’s about reflecting every night before I sleep, so that I go to bed with a clear mind and wake up with a better relationship with myself.

[@imclc2229]

I think, self care is not just all about staying and thinkinf positivity in life but sometimes just sitting with your sadness and letting it all out

[@elisemedelez4422]

I think of self-care in a literal sense, taking care of my body and mind. That means eating healthy, exercising, yoga, getting 8 hours of sleep, checking in with my doctor, therapy, and journaling. I feel like in society "self-care" has become things that you do or things that you buy that give you instant gratification. My approach to self-care is doing things that contribute to my happiness in the day to day and for long-term. Side note: I wish I'd been taught when I was younger that I would likely have as many friendship breakups as romantic ones and that that's completely okay. For a variety of reasons, we're not meant to carry every friendship we've ever made into our future. Love you, Valeria! 💕 thanks for these videos. I've been enjoying your perspective on these topics

[@marinaSassygUrl88]

For me self care is to enjoy the process of the “journey”( whatever that journey is about) and also doing the work. So it doesn’t make me stressed but also work hard and enjoy it. I loved this message ❤️❤️

[@christinefrazier]

REAL TALK *clap clap clap* you are so right self care is not just instant gratification and bubble baths its the emotional & psychological work on ourselves that is uncomfortable that is also self care.

[@ninapetriskova3194]

Self-care to me is being honest with myself, my needs and meeting them myself!

[@Lillian839]

Yes! Choose your hard! Sometimes you just have to get the hard things done now, so that you make it easier for your future self!

[@hannahm.6394]

Honestly, thank you for talking about this. I’ve been working on myself, along with self-care, for a couple of years now and everything you said in this video is so, so true. Because of the pandemic a lot of people started getting more into touch with their way of caring about themselves (and that’s great!) but I’ve seen a lot of them struggle once they started and got past the first layers. The media and brands are promoting “self-care” as working out, eating junk food, doing a skincare routine or treating yourself to something you usually deny yourself. And I’m not saying that these things aren’t part of self-care, because they are, but they are not the only things that counts as self-care. Self-care to me is like you said a constant process of breaking bad habits, changing mindsets, bettering yourself, learning to let go of people or things and also moving on. It’s so much more complex then just a nice face mask or a slice of delicious pizza with a great movie to go along with. And it’s also okay to sit down and accept the fact that you might not be able to make progress on something you’re working on. It can be very frustrating - speaking out of experience - but it’s okay. Change doesn’t happen over night or after the first try, but it will eventually happen at some point if you keep going. So to everyone who reads this: I’m rooting for you and the hard work you do. You might not see it yet but eventually you’ll reach all of your goals 💕

[@Mia-wm6xj]

I love that video! That's the truth, when you really love yourself you decide to go through painful stuff, but when you actually do it, you become stronger and a better person. ❤️

[@benedettasesso5780]

Didn’t even watched it yet, and I already dropped a like 😂♥️

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@valsx7075]

I haven't watched your videos in a while and today this one appeared in my recommended and I really needed to hear this words. Lately I've been falling into all of my unhealthy coping mechanisms telling myself that this is self care ignoring the fact that what I actually need to do right now is to be the person that I want to be instead of telling myself "I can be that person in the future" while hiding behind toxic relationships and toxic habits

[@karakochevar9245]

I so appreciate you starting this conversation because it is all true and really resonated with my heart today. A yoga instructor once described the fuzzy parts of self care as the groundwork for getting into the sh**. I’ve not had my usual yoga practice during covid, so booking classes and working hard in the studio is where I’m finding the courage and strength to look at what feels dark and icky - right now it’s my boundaries with family and my finances. Thank you again lovely, you always brighten my day 🤍

[@aibaskinthusiast2634]

I think you talk about something very important here. And I really respect you for saying this. I also only recently realised that selfcare is not about letting myself do whatever I want to do, but rather admitting what is best for me even when it doesn’t feel “good”. So Thank you! And I really hope that more people will realise that through your message ☺️

[@simoochka]

I agree! It's a balance for me between body, mind, and spirit. I feel working out and taking care of the physical parts of you is taking care of your body. I feel dealing with your emotions and trauma, learning and reading, and taking time to clear your head is taking care of your mind. And lastly I believe it's important for me to nurture my spirit by practicing my faith. I'm not perfect at the balance and I fall short all the time, but the older I get the more I grow and I'm getting better. Perfection is not the goal.....just human growth. Once I realized that it took a lot of pressure off of me.

[@CassiaKenny]

Thank you so much for this video. I cried watching because that's exactly what i'm trying to do right now, setting boundaries, saying goodbye to toxic friends and relationships. I broke up with my boyfriend (after 1 year together) last week because i knew that i was the right thing to do, but it hurts. Self care hurts but we need it.

[@ninopestudio]

Your words moved me so much. I needed to hear this. I'm feeling quite good in my global life, but these days I felt exhausted, as if I didn't know how to proceed to feel better about myself. And I think you're right when you say that you have to stop doing things that immediatly bring you joy, and start doing things for your future instead. I think that's it : self-care is using this day to prepare for the next. It's quite like considering your future self as another person, that you will welcome in your life. So today, you prepare everything, so that when this person comes tomorrow, she feels good.

[@rprs5739]

for me self care is starting project way earlier than the deadline so i have enought time to do it properly and don't stress myself exssesively. it's doing things that scare but also help you grow. It's not letting judgmental people decide what you can and cannot do. It's putting yourself first

[@anablazevic3243]

Self-care is a long, long journey in which you might loose yourself over and over again but at the end of it it becomes beautiful. Thank you Valeria for making this! I feel like these days people think they will become a better version of themselves only if they make a bubble bath and apply fancy face mask. Sending lots of love😊

[@gabiboschetti2590]

wow... I've never seen self-care like this. I thought it was all about this "fast good feeling" and it is very nice to realise that I've been making good choices (even if it is hard) towards my well being. Thanks ✨

[@jukajiniret]

One of the things I like about Valeria is that she doesn't sugarcoat things And we can always depend on her to be honest and I personally truly appreciate it I agree with ur opinions Valeria Love u lots ❤️

[@ahanaroychoudhuri]

First of all even washing my hair with shampoo is such a complex and difficult task that I have to indulge in for twice every week so even that bathing and cleansing part can't be romanticized in my life.

[@andiengo8170]

Thank you so much for making this video. I find it hard to walk this path sometimes because it does come with dilemmas as well as questions about my own identity. To elaborate, I've been struggling with letting go of some certain people in my life - I keep tip-toeing on the line between "I feel a huge obligation to have them in my life and help them. If I get rid of them, does that mean I'm a bad person? Maybe if I try to have them in my life I will be a better person somehow?" and "I want out ASAP because they're toxic for my growth". I'm still struggling and unable to make a decision due to many reasons but it's very assuring and encouraging to watch this because it reminds me again that I'm not a bad person for wanting a life that's free of toxicity and negativity. May this year be full of clarity and strength for us all

[@FK-zp2fp]

❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you for being real on the topic of self care. It really isn’t easy and I’m always seeking instant gratification because I don’t know what else but the one thing I would say that’s help the most in clearing my thoughts and just processing my emotions is journalling.

[@TashJansson]

Very nicely put! I feel like the current self-care discourse is "buy this to feel better" and rarely "do the unglamorous thing that your future self will thank you for".

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Totally agree!

[@tamarindodetrespepas]

For me what you describe is self growth and learning about yourself, self care by the other hand in my opinion is more about pampering,do things to strengthen yourself, to empower yourself and do the exercise with awareness, nurture yourself mentally and physically so you don't feel like you're disappearing inside yourself and eventually been so lost that you ask yourself who am I..... obviously this is not something you do alone, it goes hand in hand with the other things. But is great that you talk about it 🙌

[@akritigupta1829]

Hey Valeria! I am not the one to usually comment, but i can not emphasize enough how spot on this video is! Self-care has been projected as this very toxic, mean practice and i have seen people change for worse because their minds are conditioned to shut out all the pains and struggles that come with accepting own flaws. They have this air about themselves, and they stop caring about others altogether! I like to write diaries when i am overwhelmed, do workout, breathing exercises and take an off from work and rest as self-care practices. Hope you share more positive content! Love it and you!

[@dianaarizmendi1820]

Valeria, you just put into perfect words what I was thinking about lately. I was feeling lost and overwhelmed with the amount of aspects in life we need to take care of and felt pressure (even at work) to "take time for myself", to do more "self care" and it just felt like an ambiguous term without clear steps. Thank you for this video and for sharing your experience. ❤️

[@desislavaanachkova9073]

Self-care for me is going to my therapist, self-care is the time in the morning I watch your videos for example and reflect on how I am relating to it, self-care is writing in my journal and trying to see things from a different perspective - me and my thoughts and dreams! Love u so much, been watching you for years now!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

yess 🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@mindfulcharlene]

i love this!! i think you made a really good point that self-care is about addressing things we typically want to keep hidden (because usually it'll just open a can of worms)... so it's not an easy process like how they portray it now! it's more than just physical care for sure thank you valeria!!!

[@Soltopmtz]

I soooo needed to hear this today. It has been hard the last year of self development. Thank you. For me self care started when i listened my body and my energy, that way i became more conscious on the things that long term made me feel acomplished

[@rhianarbuckle230]

Self care for me is journaling, writing down my emotions, figuring out why I feel this way, what are my triggers, why? what I can do to be a better version of myself

[@melissagitts]

We do this together 🤓👯🤗....I'm just happy to know the things that I do actually make sense! ❤️❤️❤️

[@danivz188]

Thank you! Everytime I see someone saying puting a mask sheet is self-care I get so frustrated because self-care for me was going to therapy and healing childhood trauma, was learning to identify and express my emotions, set my boundaries, learning to say no to things that were hurting, also getting in a lot of fights, breaking relationships (even with family) and that was SO HARD and painful, just as you described, this video was so necessary!! ♡

[@rachelgideon485]

Thank you for your precious thoughts ❤ personally I manifest self-love and self-care in treating and thinking/speaking of myself as I would (of) someone I deeply love. This state of soul fills me with so much love and energy that I automatically treat everyone else that caring and understanding way as well. It has been a very long and uneasy process which I still am working on. But it is a healing process. If every human being would do that, our world would be full of peace and love.☀️

[@dhwanibhatia2621]

Omg loving this kinda sot down videos a lot

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

🥰🥰🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@jackiek4159]

I totally agree with you! Self care is not all about bubble baths and face masks! It truly is hard work and facing things in our lives that are not necessarily easy to change but we have to in order to grow and level up! Loved this and loved the hair buns! haha 🙏🏻💞

[@tana4965]

Self-care is firstly being kind to yourself. Being honest. And mustering that courage to invest your life energy into your goals first. Personally my self-care habits in life have manifested by saying "No", "That doesn't interest me" or "I don't have the time for this". Also by standing up for myself, allowing myself to disagree with other people or isolating myself whenever I feel like I need it. This behaviour might seem selfish but in reality it is the complete opposite of selfishness. When you start loving yourself that love radiates naturally around you into the world and in the end everyone gets to benefit from it. That is self-care to me. Thank you Valeria for raising this topic

[@itsfaithtime]

Yes!! I totally agree - this is so so important and more people need to hear this! It is so easy to forget that self care has become a whole money making industry now and we forget the core of it. it's time we get back to the basics! :)

[@58mummybear]

such a great video, self-care has become the it phrase for marketers to sell things that don't really come under self-care its just something that is a short fix for now. self care to me is look after my mental health, sadly letting family members out of my life that were toxic, taking care of my mental health by reading books that really get me to understand myself and why I do things and how I can change those things for the positive. exercising to keep my body healthy but my mind more so knowing when I exercise I have more motivation to achieve the goals I have, more confidence in my self. journaling to connect to myself, see how I can improve on the next day.

[@JustDawnVanella]

Thank you for that video! 🥰 loved it! Because yes, it is hard. I always struggled with self worth and I keep finding myself falling back in old habits. E.g i keep saying to myself „I can’t do it I can’t do it. But I keep reminding myself „no! You can!“ but it’s hard work and The winter especially is really hard, I feel so much better and lighter in the summer. But I keep on trying to get to my higher self, be conscious about what I need right now to be my best self. What makes me happy is helping people but in order to do that I want to be my best self first. My traumas and experiences just keep me humble and I can also help my friends and family better because I’ve got a good understanding. But still, I still have to work on my self care and keep on establish my boundaries more and more. Anyway... keep up the good work and keep on shining ! You are radiant ♥️ Lots of love

[@martynawejman6687]

Omg girl, I really needed to hear that. It's something that deep down we all know, but you're probably one of the first people to say it out loud. We all know that eating big pizza whenever we feel like it isn't really beneficial for us in long run perspective, but self care in media now is so focused on those "simple pleasures" that suppose to make you feel good in the present. I personally don't really understand where did it even come from. Idk about others, mayhe this is really an issue for many people, but I never used to "forget" about myself, I always tried to do something nice for myself each day, it's intuition. You want to get a good sleep, you want to eat something yummy, you want to have some time in peace. Why this self care idea keeps reminding us about those things? Like ok, this is good, we also need to take care about ourselves in this way but I feel like this is something most people already do. The things media should remind us is to in the whole process of self care remember about our goals and grater good. We can eat pizza from time to time, but it is more important to eat healthy. We can have a pijama day on weekends, but we also should be active and maybe socialize. Those things are also self care, I think even more than a bubble bath.

[@melissagitts]

Couldn't agree more. I actually changed my conversations from self love to self awareness.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

🙏🏻🙏🏻 yess!

[@Downfally]

For me, self-care is taking decisions once and for all. I always feel like the decisions I make are not good enough for me. Sometimes I’m right and when I change it’s good. But a lot of times I’m just afraid of change and understanding that is the best care I took for myself this year 🎉

[@beautifulmariah6677]

Self care to me means to give care to yourself. What most people overlook is that that means giving yourself what you NEED at this moment not necessarily what you WANT at this moment. at this point in time I NEED to journal even though I hate it and am afraid of prying eyes reading my journal. At this point in time I NEED to get off my phone and do something with my hands to work out the anxiety because that helps me personally. Like you said,It’s not always about the bubble baths and face masks

[@sophiabeebeeboo4579]

This was so well put together. I actually needed this, you put everything I was feeling into words and I appreciate that. Setting boundaries, letting go of certain people and things, ignoring instant gratification and improving yourself no matter how long it takes and no matter how hard that may be. Again, I really needed this, so well said. Thank you♥️

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

❤️ so glad you enjoyed watching! will keep sharing on this topic :)

[@nadineee_12]

wow it’s a new perspective for me. 💗 Thank you very much. I’ve been trying to do my best right now,working hard to be the best version of myself and it is really difficult. Sometimes there are days that I was not in the mood to do anything,then I’ll start overthinking that I am not doing anything and I will not reach my goal. This video motivated me and made me realize that self-care is not easy and it is okay to rest sometimes.

[@MartaB198]

Really needed this. It's so true, so happy that someone is talking about this ❤️

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@dhwanibhatia2621]

I love how u said its not always about taking care of ur outer self but about taking care of inside

[@magmaska]

I couldn't agree more, self-care is sometimes so tiring, just to figure out what's good and bad in your life and to deal with it. Finding the energy to do what's best for you is hard. I'm happy you did a video about it, I felt alone feeling this way, not anymore ahah

[@klaudiakosarko5928]

So on point, thank you for sharing! Like so many things, self-care started to become the object of a superficial, IG compatible life-sharing, while in fact, it is exactly what you said here, Hard Work! But so worth it... ❤️

[@cshgdchagi]

I had to watch this twice since it spoke so much to me. I only wish I had heard this during the quarantine when I was drowning myself in “self-care” 😭 Thank you so much for the inspiration 🥰

[@noemiefontaine2507]

When I saw the title I was like “wait why?” And then I watched and wow, thank you so much for this video! I realized that I was stuck in that social-media idea of self care so thank you❤️

[@camilladecillia9910]

I definitely agree with you. For me self care is also stopping by and appreciate how far I got. It's not easy cause i always challenge myself setting a new goal, and then another.. i rarely tell myself: good job honey! A trick i use is thinking about what i would say to a girlfriend who achieve what i've already achieved, I actually use to be nicer with other people than towards myself! I have to work on it.

[@milkbread5036]

This was so well said! Self-care that we read in articles of letting yourself go forget to add balance... because self-destruction can also look like bingeing on food/movies, messing up your sleep schedule, eating junk, not working out ever, hoarding etc. just because it feels good and comfortable doesn't mean it's self-love but can be masked as self-destruction. You really pointed it out very well!

[@hell0thisisk1tty]

self growth and care isn't always pretty. its messy and painful ; this video brings awareness to that , thank you valeria.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

You're so welcome!

[@LoucaHoly]

I totally agree with you. Wow! I did not expect this short video going so deep into the material and I find it really great how you re-adress self-care. Alle the bubble baths won't help as long as more important things inside ourselves aren't figured out. Which is not to mean I won't relax over a bubble bath sometimes. :) To me self care is also about learning discipline, reflect and reconnect to fulfilling and efficient habits which lead me to leading a good life. As a communication and environmental expert and musician - on the side - for me this means time to write, to read, to exercise, practice and eat well every day. When my days don't have that, I grew unhappy over the time. I came to realise that my happiness aren't only my goals, but how I reach them. Leading a lifestyle that fits me is how I can develop new ideas and get time to practice all I want to learn. But 'a lifestyle that fits me' doesn't bring about itself. It needs discipline and reflection a lot of the time. And I feel that these two things are a huge part of living self care.

[@aidapopova3000]

I couldn't agree more with everything you say in this video. I gave myself a word to become happier and mentally more stable almost a year ago and started therapy sessions. I've had to face so many fears of mine, I've had to feel embarrassed, scared, intimidated and SCARED again. But I don't think you put much emphasis on the payoff. The way you feel after you deal with another issue of yours is like finding a precious part of you that you never thought was there. It's been a hard journey but also a rewarding one. To me the most stressful part has been to set boundaries. I still don't know how to deal with people who happen to be my family. Also it is very crucial to accept yourself at every stage of the journey, coz at times it feels you'll never sort all the shit out and it'll keep coming and challenging you day by day. BUT never will I regret having set out on this journey in the first place. I'm nearly 30 and it seems I started knowing myself and who I really am only now. I totally see your point about romanticising the thing which of course self love has nothing to do with.

[@laptiteally5371]

You really appeared on my yb recommendations the exact time I needed to hear that. I’m currently trying to figure out how I want to be & feel and I’m trying lots things to “take care” of me but I feel incredibly lost and frustrated and scared. I thought there was maybe just something wrong with me though I’m aware that changing’s not easy. But watch your video made me feel understood and more less lonely so thank you 🙏🏽

[@anjumonty08]

Wow I feel like I needed to hear this! All of it! I’m at a important time in my life and everything feels hard but the end goal is so close.. I want to reach it. I want to keep going. And the funny thing about self care is nobody teaches us about it. We get fed that having a mask/bubble bath is it. But why doesn’t anyone talk about the actual meaning? About the real struggles to reach our future self. About not just what makes us happy in the moment but what will make us happy for a lifetime. I’m slowly trying to learn this concept. So thank you for talking about it. For normalizing this process. That it will be hard but it will be do so worth it by the end.

[@myrtila]

Absolutely loved this video! It gives a much different perspective on self-care than what we see on media nowadays. I agree 100%

[@miroslavah21]

I just love how honest and transparent Valeria is, Its the only blogger/influencer that I truly believe that's trying to spread a good message. She talks about real problems and issues. I really like this type of videos where she expresses an honest opinion about this kind of topics. Glad I started following her in this pandemic.

[@bluecloudss4131]

thissssss!!!! I definitely agree that self-care is hard and was never easy to do and there was a time when I was so into the self-care where I should always be happy and that led me to toxic positivity and I was devastated when I realized that what I'm doing is completely wrong

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

100%! Glad you enjoyed watching 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️

[@Juudit110]

I agree with you. Self-care is so much more than just taking one day for yourself, is taking little steps everyday to become a better person. And that can be uncomfortable when you are dealing with insecurities. But, at the end, I guess it's worth it if you learn to let go of negative thoughts, of what doesn't serve you anymore... Personally, I think that since I added new habits to my life I'm a better person but taking this new approach towards myself and knowing myself better has made me distance a bit from some of my friends.

[@joanaferreira2870]

This is it ❤️ I really loved how you put things as they are and not as people want them to look like. I take a bubble bath and put on a mask when I want some calm and chill time, same as any other tipe of chill routines. Self care is completely about growth, personal and emocional! Is about accepting that life is a journey of letting go to receive. Most of the times letting go is exctly what we need! So thank you so much my dear Valeria, we needed this lesson so so so much! Thank you for being a QUEEN 👑 and always be here helping us to lift our own crowns!

[@janez63]

This is so absolutely true ♥️ change is harrrrrdddd! I’ve recently started mine and it really is a scary (and sometimes a lonely) place. I’m happy you’re helping educate people about this. You’re honesty and bravery is always encouraging ☺️

[@chaymaesenhaji4028]

It's beautiful, looking at it from a realistic perspective and accepting the pain and discomfort that comes with it.. instead of selling dreams with a romanticised idea of self care !

[@militsabalaoura77]

Thank you! I felt like I was having an inner smile and a big YES! THAT'S IT sense,while watching your video!! Thanks again, for pointing out and making clear the meaning of self care! Greetings from Greece.