September 12th: Reflections on September 11th From an Airline Worker

“I had this wild kind of thing in my mind that everything that happened on September 11th was my fault.”
On September 11, 2001, Vaughn Allex was working the ticket counter at Dulles International Airport. When two men arrived late for their flight, he ran through all of the security measures of the time and let them board. Only later did he learn that they were among the five hijackers responsible for the crash of American Airlines Flight 77 into the Pentagon. Vaughn came to StoryCorps to remember the guilt and shame he experienced following the attacks - and how he eventually found healing.
Directed by
Richard O’Connor
Executive Producers
Dave Isay
Rachel Hartman
Producer
Savannah Winchester
Senior Audio Producer
Michael Garofalo
Audio Produced by
Liyna Anwar
Supervising Sound Recordist
Mia Warren
Audio Mixed By
Jarrett Floyd
Animators
Ace & Son Moving Picture Co., LLC
Design & Animation By
Taisiya Zaretskaya
Backgrounds & Art Production
Natalie Greene
Animators
Emmett Goodman
Shannon Baney
Original Music
Joshua Abrams
Music Performed by
Joshua Abrams
Hamid Drake
Marquis Hill
Emmett Kelly
Adam Thornburg
Music Mixed by
Joshua Abrams
Neil Strauch
Outro Music by
“The Temperature of the Air on the Bow of the Kaleetan” by Chris Zabriskie
From the Album Undercover Vampire Policeman
Published by You've Been a Wonderful Laugh Track
Special Thanks
Vaughn Allex
Denise Allex
In Partnership with
American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress
NPR
POV
Funding Provided by
Corporation for Public Broadcasting ​
A private corporation funded by the American people.
Leading Support for StoryCorps by
Acton Family Giving
The Kaplen Brothers Fund
Copyright © StoryCorps 2021. All Rights Reserved.

[@re_animatedabby6791]

Thank you for sharing your story sir. This was not your fault. You did your job and no one can blame you for that. I'm glad to hear your back in the light. At the time of the crisis we didn't have the security measures we do now. You did your job and it's okay.

[@Griffo1709]

I think most people in his position would have done the same thing. Yeah, they showed up a little late and you let them on the plane, but that's due to your kindness. Kindness is not a weakness and shouldn't be something to beat yourself up over. You couldn't have known what those men were going to do, you were just doing your job.

[@flamiaminu5536]

You didn't let two terrorists on a plane. You let two people who were a bit late get on a plane, because you didn't know any better. The people around you should have known better, after everything was said and done. You're a good person.

[@tangogolf6784]

God, I can't imagine the weight of having to carry that knowledge. Even just hearing about it by proxy makes me feel for the guy. I know he said he's doing a lot better but I hope he knows that he's not responsible for the evils of others, especially such calculated evil that was designed to mislead people.

[@sheilaross1449]

I'm so sorry, Mr. Allex. What a difficult thing to go through. I know it's not the same thing, but a few years ago one of my kids had an accident that landed them in the burn unit (they're fine now). I, of course, blamed myself at least in part. But my therapist later reminded me that humans are just hardwired to blame. When something goes wrong, we'll blame anyone, often even turning on ourselves, because even blaming our own selves somehow feels better than accepting the reality- that sometimes tragedies happen despite our best efforts to prevent them. That humans are fallible. I wish you continued healing.

[@SitInTheShayd]

To any of the people who did blame him or shun him HOW THE HELL WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW!? He was just doing his job there's no way he could have possibly know who was getting on that flight

[@kendricklyon9633]

Fr also terrorist attacks were hardly a thing and tsa wasn’t existent either

[@LadyLeo15]

You sir, are not to blame for this! You did your job like you did every single day. No one new what was to come, you didn't, they were just two guys checking in, just like everyone else. I hope you've reached out and have gotten counseling.

[@fdiw]

I'm so thankful for him sharing his story, of course it wasn't his fault but we were all so raw I can understand how he didn't have a space that he could be accepted in for support. What a powerful story

[@Dr.juiceboxtv]

Its really upsetting considering a lot of that isolation likely came from the absolutely toxic headspace the American people were in after 9/11. We turned it against some of the airline workers as well as many innocent Afghanistan and other Middle Eastern civilians.

[@hudsonwells9451]

You're human being. You did your job as anyone would have, and although you're absolutely entitled to your feelings, you didn't do a thing wrong. It could have been anyone that made that decision but it was you. You had blame put on you that shouldn't have been because ultimately there was nothing you could have done to stop it. Even if they didn't get on that plane, they could have hurt people in the airport, or the other plane would have hit, or they would have figured out another plan. You're human and you're important to this world, and someone else's actions that they had decided to take long before they got to that airport don't equal your actions. Thank you for what you do, and thank you for bearing this burden. You are so strong, and we appreciate you.

[@PogieJoe]

What a dark episode. My heart reaches out to him.

[@grigger7000]

I hope he knows none of it was his fault. There is nothing he could’ve done other than just do his job, and it’s ok.

[@patriciazavala1991]

In tears seeing this. That was ABSOLUTELY NOT your fault. You were only doing what you thought was right at the time and no one can blame you for that. And any person in your position would have more than likely done the same thing. Thank you for sharing your story and your vulnerability to do so.

[@thee_kiwi9916]

its not your fault that terrorists killed all those people, its impossible to tell anyone intentions; especially with the lack of security airports had back in the day.

[@panfluteskeleton]

But like how was he supposed to know that in the moment? That isnt fair.

[@mw9942]

God, I don’t think I have the bravery to openly admit that, I’m proud of you, and thank you. It wasn’t your fault.

[@LARKXHIN]

"I did it, didn't I?" No sir, you didn't.

[@benk9947]

The fact that you're still here and strong enough to share your story makes you a hero to me.

[@Rascalbeans]

I can feel my chest getting tighter just hearing the anguish and burden he felt. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what that must feel like having to carry that blame around with you. I hope this gentleman isn’t still torturing himself, there were so many other factors and instances where they may or may nor have been stopped. The terrorists took those lives not you, Sending out my prayers to you for sharing your story with us. ❤️

[@norenesullivan9816]

I feel his pain in this recording. Thank you for letting him start his healing ❤️

[@krzlcve]

im glad hes back in the light now, well wishes to him

[@sl3580]

This was never your fault. I’m sorry for what you went through in the aftermath.

[@sallem5844]

It is not your fault, you do not have some otherworldly power to know who you're looking at, you did you job I am sorry that people blamed you then also to those who used innocent people to complete that horrible task.

[@madisonarsenault629]

This is absolutely not your fault, you were doing your job and doing it with compassion. You couldn't have known that they had these plans, and even if they gave any sort of indication, even if there were "signs" like some people must have said, it was a different world, you didn't know what to look out for, you didn't realise that this would happen. I'm so sorry people blamed you for this, it's completely unfair to you, you share no part of the blame.

[@brittianyistre]

❣️❣️❣️ it's not your fault. I would have talked to you. Thank you for sharing.

[@Renkencen]

While I understand why he feel guilty and wouldn't publicly talked about it but I don't blame him at all! It's too much of an "what if"!

[@audralegg6477]

It's not your fault there wasn't no way you could have known who they were.

[@BlimpCityFeeder]

I give V. Allex credit for staying around 20 years and speaking his truth, knowing he didn't have to say anything. Also give credit for him not seeing the end of a bottle or testing Guardian Angel Theory either. Sad Irony is that from his kindness, his coworkers and MOS are more guarded/defensive, less warm.. due to those will ill intentions. Wishing V. Allex and others continued strength in the future.

[@justinnguyen2605]

It's not your fault. You had no idea

[@myblasphemouslife9052]

Mr. Allex this was not your fault, you can’t know what’s going on in the minds of people.

[@idontevenknow9758]

I think it’s sad that people would treat him so poorly over something like that because of it was anyone else they would have checked people in as per usual because what happened was so disconnected from the norm in a way there was no way on earth that an average person would see this coming. Or assume some people would be capable of doing what they did. It’s almost impossible.

[@meatballmeatwad5730]

None of this was you're fault. You were just doing you're job as usual and those 2 men just so happened to get on the plane. There was nothing you could've done to change anything.

[@totesme14]

This just gutted me.

[@noahboat580]

Damn thats pretty fucked, glad he opened up about it. Its not like he knew they were going to hijack the plane, shame he had to deal with that mindset thinking it was his fault. Seems like hes moved forward from all of it, so im glad

[@Splat654]

That's not your falt.

[@bass2481]

That’s horrible! That shows just how petty people really are. With all the religion in the world, forgiveness,kindness and love are the main factors in all of them!