Stressed About Work? How to Outthink Anxiety, with Byron Katie | Big Think

Stressed About Work? How to Outthink Anxiety
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An honest inquiry into the source of stress in your life will yield some surprising results. If you're mindful, present, and inquiring, you won't be able to fool yourself, says Katie Byron. Rather than analyze the source of your stress, simply ask yourself this series of yes/no questions. Analysis often leads to defensiveness of self-justification, but investigating your own mental state will reveal a more essential truth to you: how you feel about what's happening around you.
By reorienting the perspective from which you analyze your stress, you will come to think differently about it. This is especially powerful when we realize that we experience stress primarily as a mental condition. It may be that focussing on your job as the source of stress in your life may contribute to those very feelings.
Katie is the author of A Thousand Names for Joy.
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BYRON KATIE:
Byron Katie is creator of the inquiry process called "The Work." Through this process, Katie gives people the tool to set themselves free. In 1986, at the bottom of a ten-year spiral into depression, rage, and self-loathing, Katie woke up one morning to a state of constant joy that has never left her. She realized that when she believed her stressful thoughts, she suffered, but that when she questioned them, she didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being.
The Work consists of four questions and the turnarounds, which are a way of experiencing the opposite of what you believe. When you question a thought, you see around it to the choices beyond suffering. One thought at a time, you transform the way you experience your life.
Katie has been bringing The Work to millions of people for more than twenty-five years. Her public events, weekend workshops, five-day intensives, nine-day School for The Work, and 28-day residential Turnaround House have brought freedom to people all over the world.
Eckhart Tolle says, “Byron Katie's Work is a great blessing for our planet.” Time magazine calls Katie “a spiritual innovator for the new millennium.” Byron Katie's six books include the bestselling Loving What Is, I Need Your Love-Is That True?, and A Thousand Names for Joy.
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TRANSCRIPT:
The Work is basic inquiry, and it takes one into a meditative state. Let's say if you're very stressed out you just become still. And you identify what you were thinking and believing in that situation. Let's say I'm at work and I have the thought, you know, “This job is stressing me out.”
So I would simply, now that that thought is identified, just write it down on a piece of paper. It's stabilized from mind to reality; it's solid, identified and anchored. “This job, my job is stressing me out. Is it true that my job is stressing me out?” And the first response might be “Yes, yes, yes it's true my job stresses me out. And he said this and she said that, and this is more than I can handle.” Okay, no that's not inquiry, that's a discussion. So now we slow it down, look at the paper. “This job is stressing me out. Is it true that this job is stressing me out?” Now the answer to the first two questions is one syllable, it's either “yes” or “no.” This is inquiry. Any defense or justification or story is not inquiry, inquiry is to get still and let the answer show you. It comes out as a “yes” or “no.” And so we just meditate on that until - that's why I say it could take a while for some of us.
And then, “My job is stressing me out. Can I absolutely know that it's my job that's stressing me out?” Okay. Get really still. “Can I absolutely know that it's my job that's stressing me out?” Yes. So to imagine that it's “no,” you're just guessing at the right answer. So it has to be authentic. You cannot fool you. You can't fool you. So some people say ultimately every answer is “no.” A “yes” to me is as valid as a “no” to someone else. This is personal work.
So let's say I'm at a “Yes. So it's my job that's stressing me out. My job stresses me out.” How do I react when I believe that thought? So I close my eyes; I see me taking it home with me; I see me frustrated at work; I'm short with my children, my husband; I want to quit. Then I worry about money and security, letting my family down. I blame even innocent people at work. I'm focused on work. Most of the time I'm paid for eight hours but I'm 24/7 waking hours I'm at work in my head. And a lot of us can go further with that. It's like “How do I react when I believe the thought. ......
To read the transcript, please go to bigthink.com/v...

[@pummisher1186]

As you're standing there thinking if your job is stressing you out, your boss writes you up for not doing your job.

[@frank5520]

+Josh Derak They will comment that you are "daydreaming" or not normal, etc etc etc

[@frank5520]

+Josh Derak Usually have to be an extrovert to have a solid relationship with your "boss".

[@pummisher1186]

Frank Usually.

[@jasourwnjl]

What are you doing? Get to work you worthless piece of shit!

[@tylertarbet492]

Wow, quite the many haters in the comment section. Byron Katie is one the most intelligent people I've come accross. Just because her "work" makes you uncomfrotable or rubs you the wrong way, it doesnt mean it's not effective and impactful to people.

[@michelewhite1082]

Folks, your comments made me chuckle. I believe the point is that you have to slow down to discover these things about yourself. If her slowing down, and her asking you to slow down and listen is stressing you out, you probably needed this video.

[@zacanderson7659]

this lady is stressing me out 10 times more.. like the insanity long pauses and just listing stressful things.

[@excessvoltage]

+Zac Anderson just count how many times she says 'my job is stressing me out.' NOW my job is stressing me out even though it never did before

[@IvanaGirl]

excessvoltage lmaooo

[@jtday92]

I guess if you have time to hold a whole meditating session on the clock, your job probably wouldn't cause you much stress. Perspective is an interesting thing.

[@ZacharyHand]

Im not following this. Am I really not following this? Yes.

[@TuNguyen-ec9tl]

worst advice ever. maybe meant well but it is not practical in terms of...logic

[@blane.washere4226]

Is this still hard to understand? If your abuser is dead and you’re scared of your abuser, you’re living a fantasy. Also if it’s Sunday and you’re scared to go to work on Monday because “Johns a dick I don’t want to see him” you’re living just as much a fantasy? My 10 year old nephew gets this stuff 😂

[@einsteindarwin8756]

It’s BS SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST OVER THEIR HEADS

[@payno20]

What is stressful about her job? She's a fucking author. It's easy to be still when you haven't got a million and one things to do.

[@draevonmay7704]

Being an author is an extremely difficult job, for the most part. I don't know anything about this woman, or you books, or work life, but the notion that rich people, or authors, or rich authors don't have stressful jobs don't have stressful jobs is simply wrong. Maybe some don't, maybe a lot don't, maybe most don't, but just saying: author therefore no stress is wrong.

[@draevonmay7704]

+Draevon May *her books

[@MrLunithy]

+Draevon May I'd say that they won't starve and end up homeless.

[@draevonmay7704]

+MrLunithy So your dentition of stress is "they might end up homeless"? Wrong analysis. Try this example on for size: the presidents of the United, who arguable have or have had the hardest jobs of anybody. They have very little chance of becoming homeless. Have you seen the extent of their visible aging due to stress?

[@draevonmay7704]

+Draevon May Definition. (I'm typing on a phone. Autocorrect)

[@somecallmetim451]

I like that she pauses to emphasize that people don't take enough time to stop and think before they jump to conclusions they want. Absolutely true.

[@TheTaskmaster]

My job was stressing me out but now it doesn't seem as bad as yours, Big Think. Thanks!

[@richardschiro1125]

As always,Bless you Katie! I've been practicing The Work for at least 10 years..a recent scary event ..or my THINKING it was a scary event,sent me into a short spiral or anxiety and all old buttons reactivated..Your crystal clear awareness in this video clip helped ME get Me back on track.. Thank you much!

[@aduffield]

OMG YES its my job that is stressing me out, if it wasn't then why would I look forward to Saturday's so much?????

[@Necrom4ntrix]

At 5:00 the Big Think logo wants to go, but then realizes that she isn't done talking yet.

[@aquarius2284]

this video is stressing me out more than my job. wow.

[@mizterri]

this issue is so prevalent in the workplace today - meditation and self awareness is the answer

[@yadd13]

I am exactly in the same position and I Don’t know what to do. I am a programmer and I am afraid I am not good enough at my job and I am not valued and ppl think I am a failure and I am letting my team down. I don’t think I am providing any value add to the team.

[@maryannm2876]

I have a different kind of job but I feel exactly the same way.

[@seanwebb605]

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[@lostxforxwordsx420]

+Sean Webb I fucking love you.

[@daxxonjabiru428]

+Sean Webb Unassailable logic there ...

[@seanwebb605]

Daxxon Jabiru Not my fault you don't get the reference.

[@daxxonjabiru428]

"Are you sure that's how you ..." (Yada yada ...).

[@AssNuggett]

You said it wrong, It's.......these PRETZELS are making me thirsty

[@Jedran275]

This is the strategy I use to identify ideas that I consider outside of my emotional "reactive" state. It's often I find that I have situations in my life where I create the problems by refusing to accept the objectivity of the situation as opposed to the personal, emotional part of my experience that I can directly feel. I have to come first to a mind state that isn't so muddled in my own direct experience. We aren't alone on this planet, you share it with everything else, and are usually always part of another human's experience. And yet still, I strive to build the thought pattern and habits that I need to be truly mindful about myself...it will probably always be that I feel this drive to take direct, immediate action, though I want to be able to be better than that one part of who I am and how I think/act.

[@cybersekkin]

Thinking about the stress, rather than why you are stressed, will just pile on even more stress.

[@malcolmnicoll1165]

Brilliant talk. It’s our false, negative thought patterns that create our suffering. Anytime we feel a negative emotion, we’re believing a lie. When we question our thoughts, we end our suffering. So true. Diogenes was right when he said “nobody can hurt us but ourselves.” The unquestioned life is a wasted life. Thanks, Katie.

[@Xcark]

TL;DR: It's all in your head, its not your job stressing you out, its your thoughts about your job, if you can't shut down your own mind for awhile and relax, then you are not controlling your mind, but your mind is controlling you, Great Vid!! Keep it up!

[@jpeacem]

People meditating at work instead of working, Stresses me out.

[@Euphorica]

for people with actual anxiety. ..its not even remotely this simple

[@chestbuster1987]

This video looked interesting but the pacing... then I started imaging that she's Carol from The Walking Dead and suddenly the video got interesting again!

[@5chakie]

Yess

[@roberthrodebert9263]

This woman's phlegmy voice is stressing me out.

[@yellaturd]

Mindfulness is just too difficult to hold on to in the real world. Mimicking a confident personality isn't exactly a great solution but for me it is more successful at treating anxiety. Think of an overly confident person you know and ask "what would they do in this situation?". The answer to that is usually not care what other people think and only care what you think. Certain things work for certain people.

[@quillakiller]

This was amazing. Thank you.

[@LeeboProductions]

Self-enquiry doesn't work if the problem stems from your unconscious mind, soooooooooooooo... now what?

[@michelewhite1082]

+LeeboProductions------ ahhhhh, but by slowing down and meditating, the unconscious becomes conscious!

[@LeeboProductions]

Michele White Not necessarily, and not very often. If you have managed create a conduit between the conscious and the unconscious mindv, then write a paper on it and claim your nobel peace prize.

[@sgtsnakeeyes11]

+LeeboProductions ok you're a hopeless victim, is that what you want to hear you cry baby?

[@LeeboProductions]

sgtsnakeeyes11 Where did I say or even suggest anything of the sort?

[@guersomfalcon7544]

try with Noah Elkrief

[@Acroanidd]

I suffer through stress and anxiety on a day to day basis. if only i thought to think about it being stressful, as if i didn't already know this. let me tell you anyone with true issues with anxiety and stress don't need to be told or question themselves constantly about if something is stressful. this is hot garbage and not helpful even in the slightest

[@Mikefoley2]

Disagree. As someone with diagnosed anxiety, I find it hugely helpful to be able to discern between real stresses, which are helpful, and generalized anxiety stress, which is unhelpful, unproductive, and crippling. Knowing the difference between them and understanding how to use personal inquiry to determine what the nature of what you're experience is one of the most crucial tools to manage your own mental health. Medication is also important and helpful. But I completely disagree that you are completely powerless without drugs to manage anxiety, or that this method is garbage and doesn't work; it does work, and I employ it every day.

[@Acroanidd]

+Mike Foley the brain is highly complex thing that science barely understands so for you it may help. for others it may not. I fall into the camp that it doesn't help at all and I find it almost comedic to imply that it is something that can be resolved simply by acknowledging that there are stressors. which this video suggests or at least doesn't go out of its way to tell people with crippling anxiety to actually seek help. it's bordering on pseudo science that can be more harmful than good.

[@Finnabair54]

Byron Katie is brilliant

[@darreljoseph2085]

True!!

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

I love her use of 'simply', as if that's the easiest thing in the world, all the while feeling massive pressure and stress... It's not as easy as she see,s to think it is. Has she become so calm that she has lost touch with normal working people who haven't been doing this for years?

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

*seems

[@komi-creative]

+Michael Berthelsen What makes you think that? Flagrant presumptuousness being exercised here, I believe. I don't think for one moment she's saying 'simply' as in easy. At the end of the day, the process is *simple*, any which way you cut it. But because we've convinced ourselves of everything being super complex, we assume that the undoing of that has to be equally difficult. But it doesn't. It just takes a heap loads of undoing to get to the easy/effortless part of 'simple.' She's got to this calm point because she's been teaching people about this method for decades now. If you look into her history, you'll know that she is very much in touch with every normal people and their lives - working and otherwise.

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

soulscion She repeatedly use words like 'just' and 'simply', which, in case you're not a native speaker, DOES imply her thinking that it is not a difficult thing to do. And you actually argure FOR my view when you note that "she's got to this calm point because she's (sic.) been teaching people about this method for decades now." That's my point. It's not as easy as she pretends it to be unless you've been doing it for years, like she has. For most people it would be a lot harder to do than she makes it seem. And the world IS very complicated, that's not just imagination. Just because something is simple doesn't make it easy. Otherwise no people would be overweight, smoking or drinking to excess. Her 'history' is irrelevant, since it's not other people's history. She needs to communicate with people who don't have years of experience with this process. And in this video she's not really doing that.

[@DenisZenASMR]

How can we stop ‘being at work’ in our head even when we aren’t at work?

[@MiataBRG]

I felt more depressed at the end than i did at the start!

[@morcan6304]

Yes my work is stressing me out soooo much. I need to chill and relax bro

[@danf4447]

having worked at several places over the years i can catagorically say this is crap. some places and some life situations are much much more stressful than others and simply asking yourself if you are stressed or you think you are stressed as the bullets are physically or metaphorically flying ...is in a word...crap

[@dudoklasovity2093]

agreed!

[@millionsdaily5943]

True I am stressing because of thinking to much. Well I messed up a month ago I was sleeping at my desk because I stayed out all night being stupid. The morning came I was two hours late because an EMERGENCY can up. I got to work n I just was exhausted completely. Well now I feel like I'm being set up n I need to just not think so much about the negativity n just work my hardest n get to work everyday

[@SalemElectro7]

I love that you guys used office space bobs for thumbnail.

[@RuiNetoX]

i agree in a way that ,self doubt can cause anxiety ,and them when you put the doubt in to a reality sence it can calm you.

[@Giby86]

This is exactly how NOT to do a video about this.

[@ollie511]

+Giby86 LMAO I read this while hearing her talk and I couldn't stop laughing! She seems nice though, I just didn't get much out of the vid...

[@forbol]

I can't tell if this is brilliant or mamba jahamba.

[@lauraw1767]

Mamba jahamba

[@danielhandika8767]

I'm gonna use those words from now on

[@mikiallen7733]

thoughts and attitudes don't come from nowhere !

[@ShawnRavenfire]

She reminds me of Stuart Smalley (Al Franken's self-help character on SNL).

[@Anonymous-vk5bt]

What is this sorcery! Oh man. I’m literally getting told that I’m exceeding expectations in the morning and then beating myself up all night for showing frustration in a meeting at the end of the day. Why do we do this to ourselves.

[@vampdan]

The human capacity for self-deception should never be underestimated. We do fool ourselves all the time.

[@Scooterpie-oc5cd]

the answer is no, it's the people at your job that are doing or saying things you don't like that is causing you stress, not the job itself

[@Bc232klm]

If only it were anywhere close to as simple as a "yes/no".

[@dasraiser]

+cubs0110 That was the point, if your answer goes beyond a yes/no then you are painting a picture, be honest with yourself and the answer will be, either a yes or a no.

[@GhostEmblem]

+dasraiser Wrong if you answer yes/no without inquiry then you are "just guessing" thats the whole point of inquiry.

[@dasraiser]

that point was covered, but in this case, giving an answer to the question, it is just yes/no, which requires honesty, the inquiry was refining the question from this response, ie why am I stressed here, after answering yes to does my job stress me..

[@dasraiser]

well I suppose, in fact, the whole exercise is an inquiry into yourself.

[@vapidrabbit198]

i know it's my job that's stressing me out... i've been working there for a few months, and i'm going to quit... but on days like today, i bring it home with me and stew in it all evening... how do i just let go when i get home?

[@tonysoprano9370]

We know we are fucking stressed, how do we stop it?

[@roninpharaoh]

Thank you

[@RGNSS-dp8st]

That was some serious new age bullshit. Never thought I'd have to say that on this channel. Next video: how yawning puppies can solve world hunger.

[@ryanjackson4717]

This helps me so much I work all the time and I just feel like my bosses are out to get me but I know that they like how I work

[@Seftehandle]

my thoughts about my life, study & work are stressing me out

[@aoreliasamantha5339]

Thank You!

[@paraschivlaurentiu70]

It's clear as the fucking day that she is not a nurse. 2 years of nursing and i.ve seen most of my colleagues bursting into tears in the middle of the shift or having rage episodes. Not to mention that the doctors and nurses have problems going to sleep or maintain a healthy relationship. And me aswell. 2 years of nursing and 1/3 of my hair is fucking Gray, and i.m only 26. So..yeah! My job is stressing the fuck out of me!

[@danf4447]

if you job is stressing you out you already know it. so you can skip most of this video. 6 minutes in. so you can save yourself some time here.

[@mackdmara]

Seems she is trying to get you to see something simple. Focus on the solution, not the problem. Not your feelings, not the other persons feelings, just the problem. It is the release of tension you want, but all your doing is tensing up. You would have to soul search to figure it out. I feel her delivery was intended to be painfully slow.

[@chessforfunonly1586]

This video is stressing me out.

[@mahlenm5673]

I think she's trying to explain mindfulness but I personally feel that Noah Elkrief's videos really hit the nail on the head regarding work anxiety.

[@lutfizakhour]

Takes a super long time to get to the point, then doesn't really actually help in "out stressing" yourself, only identifying (annoyingly) the source of it. Go around in circles

[@TyCuda]

Fantastic video.

[@dazs1261]

what do when it's your boss stresses you out by the way they block you from reaching performance.also treat like a piece of dirt and posture their authority over you even though they 6 inches smaller female and weigh less than half your weight..ask you to leave three times in less than a year.cause you to miss days through absences.therefore their behaviour costs you fianicially.costs the company also.what do you then.All other videos say just look for another job.what then .what would you do then.

[@ocanaangelo]

I understand her, i have this kind of problem

[@CajinVaren]

I came here because John McGinley was on the thumbnail... DAMN CLICKBAIT!!!! i miss Dr. Cox...... -.-

[@jebleshful]

this video shod be called making small think sound like big think

[@stevenaragon6606]

thank you

[@Kunosachiaka]

I watched a few seconds and don't feel like watching more but I'm curious as to why there are so many dislikes. Is the woman in the video basically trying to give people examples of how to get your mind off your troubles to lessen your stress while viewers are disliking the video because they act like stress is a disability that can only be cured by physical antidepressants because some quack doctor told them so? Is it at least somewhere in that ball park?

[@thenunujournals]

This is CBT.

[@frank5520]

+Marie Lou Effective form of counseling/therapy./

[@VeganSemihCyprus33]

02.14, just seconds before jumping off from the business building :D If there is such building :P

[@KeithAGass]

I don't have time at work to write shit on paper and to make still, meditative inquiries

[@HannesRadke]

She needs to quit her job. It seems to really stress her out!

[@shraka]

"We made the working environment super stressful for normal humans, but rather than fixing it we're going to tell you to change who and what you are."

[@lemurlicker1846]

I have an anxiety disorder and the workplace is the only place I actually like having it. Anxiety pushes me to work really hard at my job.. with it I can get a lot done and impress my bosses, and without it I'd struggle to find any drive at all.

[@theImprobableSteve]

Talk about victim blaming. I was getting bullied at work but, yeah, apparently it was my fault.

[@rjday753]

This was helpful, thanks.

[@LucasDanielSantoro]

Lol

[@apagoogoo]

her whole process really reminds me of scientology.

[@danf4447]

miss some goals and deadlines at work and you can connect with people and be compassionate...at a lower paid other job , because you wont be at your current place any more :)

[@mikehandsome]

Is this Carol from Walking Dead? :)

[@nandatou]

DR Cox?

[@jayt6454]

Umm, half way through video and I realize the video is stressing me out

[@arys6829]

I thought am the only one

[@deexus]

she is a bit confused because she is meditating on stress, instead of meditating on something positive

[@Divya736]

Replace job with acne, makes more sense.

[@epohster]

being aware people at work treat you like sh!t will stress you less out, yeah right

[@Wolf76412]

Do I think this is bullshit... Yes. Do I really think this... Yes.

[@3rdRandom]

Pro tip: watch this one in x2 speed.

[@JBALLER02]

This woman is stressing me out!!! Take this down!

[@sivaones]

Nonsense. Your specific job may not be stressing you out, but the third of the day that it, or any job consumes, is stressing you out.

[@RedSquadMike]

The FED is stressing us out.

[@J4ckCr0w]

She did not get the memo.

[@OverDose-kx7kx]

I'll take whatever it is that she was on or is

[@216trixie]

Her first name is a man's name, and her last name is a ladies first name?? Whaaatt????????

[@appychd]

this channel is like big data for psychology.

[@appychd]

dafaq I just wrote :x

[@SandeepSinha062]

Her Job is stressing her out... :P But she has figured out a way to get around just thinking about it...

[@cloudincloudout]

Is she mispronuncing the the word or wtf? am i missing something? I thought inquiry is pronounced "In-kwa-ree"

[@wuntbedruv]

If you have time to do this then you have need to.

[@tonysoprano9370]

I didn't understand a word of that.

[@216trixie]

Thought investigates itself.. Riighhhttt...........

[@tonyburton419]

Sorry,... but this is a very strange & twisted form of CBT/Mindfulness - and a total invalidation of one's feelings. It also encourages you to adapt to what are for many are in reality - highly dysfunctional work situations - and is largely waffle of the "cope with it" variety of self help. Just change your thinking and adapt - not make changes in the real situation......Stick with Becks or Ellis's CBT I think would be best.

[@wolfgangarmando]

My job does stresses me out,but you lady are completly crazy

[@Slow-wipe]

ROFL, a police officer during a door kick.... is this stressing me out? Wait let me think on that and have a discussion. "LARRY WTF YOU DOING GO GO GO KEEP SHOOTING"

[@VeganSemihCyprus33]

You should be stressed about work, it is an unnatural thing that us humans invented, for making rich people richer. Of course you should be stressed as any slave.

[@GhostEmblem]

How can you speak so slowly even x2 speed

[@stopnerfingzed3604]

she might say sh*t but her voice is so chill it's making the stress run out of me