Super Fast Love

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#FFXIV #FinalFantasyXIV #Drama

[@XxTaiMTxX]

There’s a lot of red flags here with op. “You don’t understand my feelings” and never made an effort to understand his. Yeah, Sam dodged a big bullet here. Sure, that may be mean, but when you throw off red flags at every step of the relationship, then maybe you should be the one who changed. I mean, they fell in love with Sam because, “he made me laugh after I was on a rebound.”. There’s also a lot of signs here that OP is potentially co-dependent and looking for something like that in a relationship. OP needs some actual time to be single and sort themselves out. They’ll find better relationships after that.

[@ozziethedivine]

The part that was the most glaring was when the OP kept messaging after the breakup, basically escalating how hurt they were without ever getting a reply. To me this feels like they were trying to guilt him to replying.

[@kierropi]

He literally said he wasn’t interested in a relationship after seeing their physical appearance even though op said they were trans beforehand 😭

[@Naoto-kun1085]

Yeah, they handled the break up horribly. Sam was super mature and respectful, not wanting to lead OP on and being honest that he wasn't ready for a relationship, but OP got angry at him and didn't respect his feelings at all. OP's reaction was super immature and unkind.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

Anyone else have an issue with how they described their s*xuality and it changing? Or how they described being ace as them choosing to be single??

[@tiopapichulo2136]

Op sounds too thirsty but honestly and as harsh as it is, after he got the recent pic from op I think he just didn’t like what he saw. Unless you’re gonna keep it strictly inside the game on some roleplaying type stuff people gotta slow down and remember they’re online in a video game

[@holy9781]

Most people are thirsty in this game

[@RvnWolf]

@@holy9781 trust just as bad in Wow

[@aiu941]

Given OP said they were trans, maybe they didn't quite pass and Sam lost a part of his attraction and didn't wanna say the reason since that's understandably quite a crushing thing to tell someone. It sounds like they exchanged pictures and then shortly after that he left to raid (if that actually happened) and then he broke it off? When you online date there's always a risk that the physical appearance doesn't match the rest of the dynamic unfortunately and some people care not at all, others care a lot about it.

[@holy9781]

I feel like they probably said they were trans after getting to know each other.thats always how it happens

[@Wastingsometimehere]

I'm not going to judge on what one considers "passing", but yes certainly exchanging pictures is a risk. Sounds like this guy was being phony just to see if they were hot.

[@soldierorsomething]

I mean i would also be shocked if my love intrest would not be a dragon girl in real life

[@Eliyanyx]

OP mentioned that he was 3 hours ahead in eastern time. So if I'm right he is middle eastern with conservative beliefs, religions and family. It would have been impossible to be together with both culture and law and will probably have to break alot of bridges with family to be with trans. It's unfortunate but alot of eastern countries are very conservative sadly

[@Wastingsometimehere]

@@Eliyanyx Eastern is what we use in the US. I'm eastern. I'm sure it's eastern/western time zones.

[@DJ_Benzy]

The instant irl pictures are exchanged, the fantasy ends. Even if you both were completely open about your looks with every little detail. It doesn't matter. It's a rare case to ever live up to that mental image; their head canon, their fantasy, that they created for you. It's extremely easy to get caught up in this kind of fantasy. Here is some friendly advice, if you find yourself in this situation and starting to catch feelings. Exchange pics asap, because that ends the fantasy and makes it real. ❤

[@devo1984x]

@@DJ_Benzy yup, saying i love you before even seeing a pic of each other is going to result in this

[@utafumi_s3244]

I can't be the only one who thinks it's weird to ask whether or not you can talk about your own feelings to your own friends.

[@utafumi_s3244]

Also....after two weeks? That's unhinged, codependent behavior

[@BadaBadger]

@@utafumi_s3244very quick, yes.

[@xReaghan]

I mean it is weird, but at the same time i had the same stuff happening to me with my boyfriend after 10 days which i normally i'm against these types of stuff. And we met in FF aswell we have been together for 3 years now so yeah it's a hit or miss.

[@holy9781]

I never seen a community so desperate looking for relationships.the ff fan base really think its a dating sim

[@amoxcillicpsychosis2967]

@@holy9781 I mean literally anything can be a way to start a relationship. FF isn't special for that.

[@amberpierce2044]

Op made it weird. The end

[@zzlai6235]

I'm sorry but OP sounds like a bundle of red flags. Feels like Sam was just being pushed around ad dragged along for the most part. OP's parting message kinda adds to it tbh.

[@Naoto-kun1085]

I agree, everything the OP says sounds like "me, me, me", but they don't seem to care much about Sam or their feelings. It's all about how Sam makes the OP feel, or what the OP shared with them, but nothing about Sam. It feels like they are way too self centered for a relationship.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

Agreed, including with how they spoke about s*xuality so incorrectly

[@fries1492]

My therapist taught me when you're hurting awknowledge why you are hurting and understand it, once you understand that think about the positives, the positive what ifs ebcause ignoring your negative thoughts makes it WORSE and your sadness needs to go somewhere. Dont wait until you're having a break down, confront the situation right there

[@jolteon8213]

OP sounds like he is toxic af lmfaoo

[@RvnWolf]

So Yeah Op did go to fast really, Sam's responses about love and relationships is a dead give away. So Sam for lack of a better term, is a doormat probably. They might have felt pressured into it, and we're too nice to say otherwise. Until it backfired and Bit Sam in the ass that he would end up hurting Op more than intended. Of course there is the other angle, the Raid group picking on him for the kind of Person Op was. Hence the not be friends anymore.

[@holy9781]

Maybe the person they like were put in a awkward situation by saying they loved them 1st.alot of people take playing a game with some and "spending time" to seriously.i play games with people,spending time is totally different.ff14 community is just desperate for love and its sad

[@masonblair3182]

OP is a bag of cats. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@moonprinses]

OP was way too quick to opening up to someone she just met. Sam was just tagging along with OP in basically everything. And when OP said "after a long time" is it over 5 yrs? THAT is long time, not a couple of months or a year. Sadly, most ppl get freaked out when someone is so open and pushy. I don't think OP was pushy however it can feel like that since OP always started everything about like, love, couple and stuff. Yeah u can crush hard on someone but please try to read the person before bombarding them with your love. It helps u get less hurt for being open with your feelings.

[@DICEBOY22]

I don't think I want to be in a relationship anymore Me: insert Count Dankula clip "Oh no!.. What Happened?"

[@holy9781]

How about dont play a game looking for love

[@DevoutSkeptic]

insert Jeremy Clarkson clip "Oh no!.. Anyway.."

[@markup6394]

Well... I dont really agree there. Every step in their "relationship", OP was the initiator. Sam only reacted. When OP said "i love you" and the like, he would just echo that statement. when op wanted a relationship, he also just echoed it. Add to that the enormous distance between them... I dont think, Sam saw this as a serious relationship at all, and when he realised what was happening, he pulled the line. Not wanting to trashtalk anyone, but lets not forget: we're talking about a pair that in some coundtries dont count as legal adults. Im sorry about what happened to op, but... yeah, we all make dumb mistakes, especially when we're at that age ;) dont get it get to you. you'll find true love eventually, and even if not, being in love is nice, too - or so they, i have no idea XD

[@kellyyaaa]

OP sounds mega mentally unstable

[@MekareP]

OP: you're really young. You don't need to decide anything. Not about yourself, not about other people, not about anything. Thats one of the biggest lies you tell yourself when you're that age. If there was one thing I had understood as a young person it would had been this. It would have saved me so much heartache. So much changes over time and genuinely gets better just from the passage.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

If you're talking about s*xuality and gender identity, neither are choices, and they don't magically change like OP suggested. They acted like they're just choices to make, but they aren't.

[@fenrisharel]

13:54 I believe is the reason for their change of heart, I'm surprised you overlooked this @Pathra The OP told us at the start they have changed their self identity and preferences several times, but not how often within a certain timeframe. If OP was sending 6 year old pics, then most likely they looked more attractive to the person before they changed their appearence with time or physically changes in support of their new identity and sexual nature. Seemed way too obvious that after they sent them a recent pic shortly before a raid with the FC, they didn't get much time to look properly at the pic and probably, during a break in the raid, they took a better look, maybe even shared it with a friend in the raid and began to realise thats not the same person they been falling for with the 6 year old pics.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

OP doesn't understand how s*xuality works. It doesn't just change, you have always been that s*xuality, and it just takes time to figure yourself out.

[@windenbird]

i feel like sam thought OP wasnt attractive and thats why he went cold😪

[@JuggaletteNJlex]

What happened, gets pictures this person picture, is not how other said person was imagined. I mean the kids just turned 21….

[@tidepoolpotions]

Alright, so I am 37 years old I grew up in the age of dating online - I've dated many online and many turned to physical and some didn't. I've felt the same way in the passed, because I've been suddenly without reason being broken up with..but for me some just plain disappeared..without closure. But the thing is, this person seems to be young, and I was there too - I'd go fast or get excited about someone and it just didn't work out. Most people who react the way this person did, are so young..niave..no real life experience. This isn't coming from someone who's being judgmental, but someone who's literally BEEN THERE. When you're in your 20s you're still basically developing and growing up, changing..when you're in your 20's your just not there yet..you are still LEARNING. Going through relationships, regardless how they start, where they start is all a learning experience that is so important for developing and figuring out exactly what you want. I've been there, so many break ups, moving around the dang USA too. Trust me, if you are reading this and this fits the bill - take your time, enjoy your life the best way possible..and don't let a bad relationship ruin it for your future. I'm with someone that I love so deeply, he treats me so well, the best I've ever been treated..his entire family seems to like me too! We also met, online..and we live together with our animals..happy as ever. Sometimes things take time. Don't ever give up.

[@harmony4528]

This is going to sound completely out off the box… However, as a Trans woman myself, stating that OP is transitioning from MTF (Male to Female) Knowing it’s a very long and hard journey anyway, which I’m thankfully done mine including my bottom surgery. Anyway, I felt that Sam was fine with OP being Trans. However I felt like ever since they mentioned about doing a Raid night with their friends. It may of been mentioned by Sam that he is chatting and getting to know OP and how OP identifies as Trans. Knowing that FF community is fairly LGBT friendly. Some people still show some harsh remarks on someone’s gender identity. Knowing this, again knowing this is a very out the blue idea to why Sam stopped being in contact altogether with OP. Is that the friends may of caused some sort of issues that Sam is dating/speaking to a trans woman. I’ve had this exact experience IRL and other encounters where the guy you talk to is open about dating you being trans etc. However there friends will belittle them and call them “Gay” for dating someone who is simply figuring out they truly are. Again, this might not even be the case. But it just seems odd that after a raid night with friends Sam suddenly loses interest in OP. But I wish OP every success in your transition. It’s certainly a hard one, many years of waiting of therapy, medical therapy and surgery. Even when the surgery is done it’s still a life changing experience with after care. But I shan’t disclose that. Just use this time to embrace the new you and make yourself happy before worrying about someone else’s happiness. I’m thankfully blessed to have myself a man who just accept me and embraced the journey with me. Which you yourself will find one day ♥️

[@Eliyanyx]

OP mentioned sam comes from +3 eastern time. Eastern countries are very conservative and majority aren't open to lgbtq views unfortunately.

[@wethril]

Think eastern meant USA eastern time zone. Cause I live in the USA and I'm EST ​@@Eliyanyx

[@mohbar4198]

Another early-ish bird to the vid, here! But tbh, i could see Sam just sparing OP of a relationship that'll feel way too one-sided.....realizing the difference is what each other wanted out of the relationship and that he just could not emotionally meet her in that middle, so he had to basically "do what must be done". But they young, they still got time, and i wish 'em both the best of luck in findin' their one and only (PS: Might be speakin' from experience from Sam's POV)

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

Ok, OP, you didn't change s*xualities, choosing to be single is not what being as*xual is, being as*xual is the lack of or very little s*xual attraction, dating is still an option. And frankly, you don't "change" s*xualities, if you're pan you were always pan, you just thought you were something else when you weren't and just figured yourself out. Jeez, this bit was just insulting, as an aspec person myself..

[@IzzetNilson]

was at the gym when I heard this story so I couldn't comment. Two theories I have, which could be one or the other or both: 1. OPs excitability could be seen as borderline obsession, which can be problematic, which was what Sam probably saw. They spent so much time together that its possible Sam needed a break, or some some time alone. I've gone through something like this in the past, in OPs position. The heart is there, but distance and time are key to early relationships. OP said they opened up, but no mention of letting Sam open up, which is sort of another big thing. 2. Sam was probably gushing about OP too, talking to his static about it. However, he could have possibly mentioned the trans part, and might have gotten bullied about it, because a lot of people really REALLY don't like trans people for whatever reason. So it was likely the "you dump them or you get kicked from the static." Sams long response can be seen as either "I want to avoid OP" or "omg i'm faced with a complicated situation and idk how to approach ah." OPs explosion did not help her case if it was the latter. (OP mentioning removing all of Sams friends from friends list indicates that there's some interaction going on with others, a kind of loose thread, but it could also mean nothing since I know social interaction is sorta not a thing many people do in MMORPGs lmao) I really hope its just the first one, and assume this is the case as there hasn't been any mention of being harassed, as is the want. In which case, all you need is to learn to take time for yourself rather than your partner. A little faith in each other goes a really, really long way. ❤

[@totalrko]

Bruh, Straight to Bi to Pan Asexual trans. Walking red flag. Hell, the definition for red flag.

[@FuyunobanaMitsuki]

that's not really a red flag imo, lots of people don't know who the are. especially since op is still young i believe

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

​​​@@FuyunobanaMitsukiSure, but OP described it as if the s*xuality actually changed, and acted as if being ace is just choosing to be single. I get figuring yourself out and thinking you're something else for a bit. It's just the way OP worded it that was problematic.

[@kaganstrayer9309]

My thoughts is he saw the recent picture of OP and lost all interest.

[@bransonchic678]

Yay, what a great way to start the weekend hearing a story from ya! I feel sorry for the op they never got closure that sucks. True if u say u love someone u can scare they away

[@NymphiusE]

Maybe Sam wanted to have that *feeling* of being love and then after they had enough they were like "yeah, time to cut it"

[@morbadaso]

how does one "discover(ed) that i was trans in the process"?

[@maryhernandez4858]

Wow this sound like what happened to me. I was talking to a guy in my fc for over a year then we exchanged pics, and he became distant.

[@holy9781]

Looks are important and now its hard to tell if someone is truly trans .alot of yall wanna look like men and claim to be women to be creeps

[@xReaghan]

I mean looks are the first thing a person gets attracted to, if the person wasn't interested that makes sense they do a step back.

[@maryhernandez4858]

That's true. But we talked and are friends. I learned never date an fc member after that.

[@quellyquell08]

I tank dungeons a lot, and I wish someone would tell dad jokes the whole time 😂

[@moonfiend9259]

100% op is not the only one with relationship/friendship drama. As an introverted cis het woman not using FF14 as a dating app other people have so tried to get me into a ldr relationship. 😅

[@SuthanNagesu]

My personal opinion to OP...... they are both around the same age around 21. Plenty of time to heal and meet new people. Life changes and we also learn to grow up and be better people. Trust... you'll meet someone better along the way.

[@ねこ男の子]

The way trans guys of this generation are almost always emo girls obsessed with their favorite anime men, has a lot of the gay community on ffxiv precautious. OP entirely in the wrong.

[@bbsuika]

op needs to learn how to be alone

[@foxypyro]

omg... i had someone in my fishing thing telling dad jokes... almost sounds like the same person lmao

[@oatstealer5075]

everyone is dogpiling OP in this one when usuallly they are supportive of the OPs. Huh, I wonder why :)

[@malifex9922]

Haha, I was replying to a comment on this video and noticed my reply wouldn't attach. It seems like Pathra removed the original comment. Hopefully, making a response is okay still. The comment was basically that they wished people would stop claiming trans just to get some girls, which is such a shit take. My response: I'm not trans myself, but this is honestly a pretty shitty take. It's incredibly common for trans people to drift through sexual identities before realizing that what they're feeling is gender dysphoria rather than a shifting sexual orientation. The idea that there are people out there "faking trans" to "get closer to girls" is actually ludicrous, and I bet you can't provide a single example of this. Why would anyone adopt a sexuality that's incredibly divisive to somehow increase their romantic odds? That makes no sense. Even your average gay man tends to first identify as bisexual because society prefers heterosexuality, and it makes bisexuality seem like a compromise where you can alert others to the fact you might have same-sex relationships, but you're still moderately viable to heterosexual normativity. This is exponentially higher for trans people, who are often navigating sexual orientation in addition to gender identity. This OP also mentions asexuality, which is a third spectrum dealing with sexual expression. It's not at all surprising that someone may land on different self-labels before arriving at the one that fits best.

[@pathra]

No I was sleeping since this vid has come out I didn’t remove anything and don’t usually remove any comments. But good thing you posted anyways. My guess was it got downvoted a lot or the person who wrote the comment deleted it.

[@mori6905]

Wooo more drama vids

[@aussiedragonz]

people are blaming op when sam was going just as fast as op. if he changed his mind after photos, sam is definitely a person who goes for looks and not personality. bullet dodged, op.

[@BenkaiDebussy]

I think that's just normal? For most people physical attraction is just a necessary part of a relationship. Though that's kinda why you shouldn't form relationships before seeing what someone looks like, but I think it's excusable for people as young as both the OP and this Sam guy.

[@jolteon8213]

ty for ruining heavansward for me 🙃

[@negeo1234]

2nd!

[@raze467]

OP dodged a massive bullet, Sam seems like a douche

[@diabetickakashi]

I was so happy I made this one! 🫶🫶🫶🫶 I ended up falling asleep at my desk while listening to your amazing storytelling, it was a nice cozy way to end the evening and found it really cute how some of us were getting in pajamas getting all comfy/settled for the night 😸🫶 thank you for always hosting these reading events! And looking forward to future ones!

[@bewitching3763]

Everyone is entitled to their OWN feelings and their OWN opinions. They were both going too fast and haven’t even met each other in real life to know if they REALLY loved each other. But they’re also very young. Maybe when they both get out into the real world (Relying on paying their own bills and stability), they’ll learn that a real relationship coming from online needs to be built on a healthy level of communication and thorough planning. This is just another learning experience to add to the book for OP. They both did nothing wrong. This is just something to take into consideration next time when you change a friendship to a relationship. And to be fair.. this was OP’s first relationship after taking a break from dating. This just shows OP needs to find their self out in the world and don’t station yourself to just one person. Enjoy life and meet people. **Be yourself**. Someone’s going sweep them off their feet again, and it’ll be done the right way that meets both of their needs for a healthy long-term relationship.