Lonely Boy

[@frbny88]

I’d hate to sit here and point fingers, but it’s hard to not spot the common denominator. With all of these situations he kept running into - if people are constantly getting turned off, stop talking to you, etc, it’s obviously something that you’re doing, saying, etc. It could be that you are too forward when talking to these people, moving too fast, or it could be a plethora of other things. It’s definitely something to self reflect on, and I hope he knows it’s not hopeless. I feel for this guy, and I hope he finds someone for him!

[@hoodedy]

it also sounds like they are putting too much into the idea of a "relationship" which normally leads to you pushing them away or them leaving slowly

[@frbny88]

@@hoodedy This too! Especially with that one person who was in open relationships.

[@Oliviablackstarff14]

And dating apps are trash 😂

[@OMGKangelx]

@@hoodedyexactly his posts sound like he’s asking for a friend but then when someone responds to it he switch’s it up to becoming partners, I’d also be creeped out. Even though he’s saying he wants a friend, he’s not very good at hiding his true intentions lol. I’d also get freaked out if the guy asks what gender I am and only wants a female lmao😂😂😂

[@OMGKangelx]

His explanations give off him saying he wants a friend but in reality he wants a wife 😂😂😂

[@makeshiftriot3245]

Be comfortable with yourself first. Life is not about finding a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Honestly, stop. Find friends, have fun, stop looking. Grow and learn to be happy with YOU first.

[@markup6394]

Technically, life is about spreading your genes by making offspring, so in a way life is indeed all about getting a boy-/girlfriend XD But yeah, I see your point :D

[@darethshiral2680]

@@markup6394 idk, i've never looked at life as being all about live/find partner/have "offspring"/etc....... life is literally that....life. YOUR life. the only people who think that what is "expected" in life is to "spread your genes" .....are those who don't know that it's perfectly fine to NOT do that.....EVER....and you can love just to love....and live just to live......be it alone or with someone else. there is no "life is about spreading your genes"

[@markup6394]

@@darethshiral2680 Heh I said that with a more historical perspective in mind ;) Thankfully, today we have a choice - at least in "the West"...

[@bransonchic678]

Omg trueness preach !!!

[@shirox11]

If we were nothing but our base instincts sure, but ae have our own rhoughts, feelings ect. The things that make us human.

[@RvnWolf]

Bro is trying too hard, and being desperate is not a way to go about it.

[@kumanekoz]

This is one of the reason why i started playing the game alone because some people just don't understand that I just want to play the damn game and not date...

[@ravioliravioligivemethefor5882]

Yeah people are weird lol

[@CTN404]

Most people who find love in games aren’t really looking for it. They are just having fun and it happens. To attract love, you already have to have that feeling of already having it. When enjoying life take center stage, love will come

[@devo1984x]

So real

[@SadieEnwurd]

90% of these stories would not exist if people realized that this is in fact a game and not Tinder. Edit to add; Genuinely cannot believe this dude typed this up and submitted it himself thinking it’s some juice drama story, when in reality it’s a sad window into the absolute brainrot that plagues the casual/RP part of this community. Genuinely sad.

[@kichan]

OP needs to stop actively trying to find romance. He sizes each girl up as a potential partner, and I wouldn't be surprised if a number of these interactions that he claims were blossoming romances weren't even on the same page. I've ran into this in XIV a number of times. Guys thought there was something going on between us while I thought we were just homies. I've complimented a strangers glam only for him to find my Discord handle and proceed to start messaging me under the assumption that I was flirting. I get the vibe that OP is this inexperienced and missing social cues. Pathra was right in reminding them that people are here to play a game first and foremost and it's unfair to treat every interaction like a test run for a potential partner. You may be lonely, but you don't have to be. Make FRIENDS. Be active in your FC and not just because girls will be there. You'd be surprised how fulfilling a group of homies can be.

[@JenniferSmith-gt4kn]

I see it and hear about it all the time. I'm a woman and when I used to play a female character, I had a lot of conversations with guys that would approach me and nearly all of them have no clue how to talk to women. I could never really play the game without being harassed by the weirdest guys asking me to party up for roulettes, stop me from crafting, gathering, fishing, leveling, Novice Network, etc. I wouldn't date ANY of these guys. I started playing a male character and now I'm left alone finally and can play FFXIV.

[@thatsembarrassing7315]

this dude got a "sure" back when he confessed his undying devotion and thought it was reciprocal okay

[@MissingNo_]

Man people think Eternal bonding ceremony really means an ETERNAL BOND in real life. It's a stupid funny thing to laugh with a buddy or an real life significant other that you met outside of the game.

[@icewolf6062]

Or something you do just for the bird.

[@rjhick1]

Lol within the first minute you can spot the red flags 😂😂

[@spetsu1]

My thing is, if your biggest goal is to be in a relationship, you're not ready for a relationship.

[@lordsaladito]

exactly, a relationship shouldnt be the main dish, but the beverage you accompany the food with

[@REMfakeplastictrees]

Within the first 5 minutes he’s erping and also claiming to be anti social 💀😭

[@boonetolbert9539]

1 woman 2 woman 3 woman 4. Why can't I find a woman I can adore. My advise for OP is you want to meet people with a long lasting connection find them locally doing similar things. Go to conventions, Games shops, find a DnD group. Your gonna have to basiclly network to find friends and possibly more.

[@XWinterMaliceX]

Unless he lives in a Dangerous Place with Drug Addicts then he outta luck some places it be bad idea finding love. Honestly just play the Game dont chase for Love instead let it come to you.

[@111michiel]

I've stayed single for four years. At the beginning I was like this too, you need a girlfriend as a means of validating yourself. It's unhealthy and that mindset is what is preventing you from having a meaningful connection. Only if you can actually live by yourself and you're in a space where you actually can listen to someone and see them as an individual it will come by itself. Just take it easy.

[@kyoko16]

Being desperate will make you being rejected all the time, i run away from desperate persons for good reasons. I rather stay alone than be used or being desperate.

[@BlueDragon2207]

i think of it as a fiting story as it is men's health month

[@VegasRedStar]

I know ff14 can be a way to meet people. I met my partner playing the game and it was wonderful ♡ That being said, I can't tell you how many people I had to date before I met my partner. SO MANY BAD DATES! I met a ton of creeps and scammera in ff14. Plus Love Bringers, from my experience, is awful... It was a cesspool for trolls and romance scammers. They say they screen and moderate their servers, but I saw none of that. A LOT of creepy guys on there sending unsolicited dick pics, people with no social skills, actual crazy people rambling and trauma dumping and very few women compared to guys. Maybe date outside ff14 and meet people at irl events, where you can start as friends and maybe become more over time. It takes time, but keep at it. Hunting for a perfect partner is the hardest part, but guard your heart, so you can be safe too. Set your standards a little higher. This person should be someone who's a partner for you as well as you being one for them. If you want love you have to put in the work. Take time for yourself. That's the best advice I can give. Make a bunch of friends, focus on yourself and keep looking. Don't force it.

[@QuarrelOfTheCave]

again... I am playing an entirely different game than the people in these stories

[@dains6623]

some people treat it like a dating app

[@ikeaira8701]

Yep, quite literally! Penumbra and Mare. The worst (I'll remain unbiased for a moment: "and the best") thing to happen to XIV. One(Penumbra) allows the import of custom files into the game with ease (don't even need to reset the game to see, is all live). The other uses those files you have downloaded with-in Penumbra and allows you to sync up with other players to see each other's character custom appearance. It's gone too far imo as it's enabled a lot of people's....I am not even going to say it outta fear the ai will delete my message(again)...I can't wait for there to be a legit case study on this phenomenon happening in XIV. Just (dont) go to Balmung and see for yourself. Those people aren't just doing pushups and sit-ups on the benches in Ul'dah I'll tell ya that much.(customs reuse in-game emotes and assets naturally, hint hint.) It's not all bad tho, but seems since those two things were created it's become more and more frequent cases like these drama stories pop up.

[@SadieEnwurd]

The complete brainrot in this community makes me ashamed to tell people I play. It’s not Tinder with avatars people, I’m begging you to go outside.

[@obliviouschipmunk6539]

I'm withdrawing from lack of Pathra drama videos.

[@KhallStream]

From an outside perspective, guy sounds like he’s always glass half empty and what’s worse is he’s completely fine with it. Maybe start working on that, find happiness with yourself before you try to find it with anyone else.

[@nikachan5425]

When are you coming back? I miss your drama videos 😭

[@LunarRxse]

I met my husband off LB many years ago. Crazy how well it can work that server. But anyone else I know who has been in that server have had terrible experiences or people trying to get you to give them money. Once she said LB I'm like this is gonna get interesting 🍵

[@wingsofshadow]

Don't go through your life looking for love. It will find you when you aren't looking.

[@Kenpachi4904]

Yikes..... so, first of all, this kind of desperation is an instant turn off. I feel like OP has an unhealthy expectation in how those around them should act. He needs to spend some time alone and figure out who he is and come to a place where he loves and accepts himself before even thinking of looking for love.

[@MTausart]

i wanna say - the more desperate you are for romantic connection, the more you push people away from romantic relationships with you.

[@kyoko16]

I hate that the moment they found out you're girl, it's annoying. I don't yell it to be clear. Again when the answer is NO it's NO don't insist.

[@markup6394]

This gave me Magnai-vibes... Not to be mean, but like Magnai, OP is just way too serious with this, convinced if he just tries hard enough he will find his soulmate. But thats not how love works. If you want find true love, go outside. The internet is a fantasic tool and sometimes people find love there, but there is no better way to meet and get to know people than old-fashioned traditional face to face - at least no surprises with "oh, I thought you were a girl" or "I thought you were older/younger" or "sorry but I dont like your looks" (they wont say that usually, though...). I like what someone said in chat: "look for them to be sunshine, not oxygen". Go and find friends first, and dont treat every woman like potential wife-material, thats the surest way to make them run away. I know I would.

[@basakagundam1138]

I know the feeling op. I actually gave up looking for love and just letting life happen. It was only once I stopped looking that I found someone. Funny enough I never thought it would be someone I met in Limsa.

[@REMfakeplastictrees]

Miss you Patra 😢 hope you’re doing good

[@girlchild]

Wondering if this guy was on my server Lol, there was a dude a few years ago that would try this with every person he played with who was a female character

[@RazzyAurealis]

That's just me in general

[@ElriccTTV]

I used to be like this guy a few years ago. But overtime I learned to be happy and love myself. And now I’ve made plenty of friends. In a fc with people who care about me and the only thing missing is a partner but i never dwell on it like I used to. I know that it’ll just happen one day and when it happens then it happens!.

[@cronesage]

oh hey, I was here during this one, We listening again

[@Piretfreak87]

I don't know but listening to this story was really...strange. I do understand that some people want to find someone they can share their hobby and/or life with. But for me it sounds like OP wanted to force being in a relationship and it's not surprising to me that this never worked out.

[@vergil5566]

Turning FFXIV into a dating simulator is not the way to go fellas. Just be yourself and socialize even just strike a random conversation with a player. That's how I met my girlfriend LOL 💀

[@RideFast.TakeChances.]

Self-pity and desperation are the major red flags I see in all these encounters. Like many of these comments have suggested, OP needs to do some honest self reflection and work on finding confidence in themselves. In my opinion, focusing on how they can bring joy into their own lives will remove that pressure they constantly put on others to do it for them. Once they do that, I think it will allow them to be more earnest and approachable to other people, and hopefully those people will start responding to op with more positivity because nothing unspoken will be expected except for the enjoyment of the game and experience itself.

[@raijuu6137]

This story reminds me an awful lot of Chrischan's search for a boyfriend-free sweetheart. And if I had to guess OP must be suffering under a similar condition that stunts their ability to pick up on social cues.

[@Aingeal_Ridire]

my best relationship advice is, dont seek a romantic relationship. just be friends with people, dont be friends with people hoping for more, if that is what you are doing then you arent really friends with that person. i dont really understand why op is looking for a romantic relationship if they are not interested in sex, a good romantic relationship is just a good friendship with sex. is it the exclusivity? if that is the case then they really need to find another a-sexual person looking for the same thing and a-sexual women probably arent using dating sites/apps more known for hookups than anything else. bogging someone down in an a-sexual relationship that isnt a-sexual is simply not fair to that other person, the desire to do so shows a great deal of selfishness on the op's part. i dont know if the op is just trying to fulfill the societal pressure, or if they just need to be #1 in someone of the opposite sex's life, i think some soul searching and maybe a little therapy to help figure out what they are really looking for and the reason they are looking for it.

[@8BitElf]

Can't find love doing things to look for love. Just do what you love to do, and you'll eventually meet that one person through that same thing you love doing.

[@silviablackffxiv]

Dude sounds so desperate, I hope he can learn to find some peace regardless of other people. He also sounds like anyone would do as long as she's a woman. Hot tip: a love partner wants to feel special.

[@evrys3221]

Desperation is not attractive, stop focusing so much on being in a relationship and focus on finding a true connection. If you're just trying to rush through the textbook of relationships without even knowing the people on a deeper level, you'll never find any success. If your looks are taking away from the confidence in yourself, that's something you can work on and change. You need to have confidence in yourself before you can attract anyone else to you.

[@Archaick]

Honestly I think this person needs to work on being happy by themselves and they will naturally find someone else. I like to believe if you're genuinely happy with yourself, its better to just share that happiness with each other once in a relationship.

[@Kazuto344]

i can play this game all by myself, ive been use to this for years of playing. even when im in a FC i tend to stay to myself

[@joannanhluttrell]

He gives off a creeper aura. You can 100% find romance in game (I am currently in a relationship with someone a met in game (well sort of in game)). He needs to relax and have fun and when/if it's time then it will happen naturally.

[@apple_blossom19]

It's times like these I'm glad my charater is married to Baderon in headcannon..........

[@markup6394]

Hmmm... damn, thats a good pick :D

[@faeriekitten]

I think personally OP's hopes and expectations are too high, and they are very, VERY actively pursuing any woman that *could* be an option, and that comes off as desperate. And I get it, OP sounds very lonely and like they just want a romantic connection. But from a woman who has done the long-distance e-dating thing - you can't hope to find someone that suits you well if you can't find happiness on your own. I know that's a huge cliche to say, and people may not like to hear it, but it's true. You need to be happy on your own and self-sufficient on your own before you turn to a relationship. The only advice I could give is to stop looking at females in-game as potential partners and start looking at them as potential friends, firstly. People who are looking to get romantic out the gate are not likely to make anything pure or long-lasting. You have to be willing to be people's friend first before looking for a deeper connection. Really get to know them. Be a friend to them and stave off that expectation or hope that you're going to date them. In the future, something could happen there, but it also might not, and you need to be willing to accept that. If you're looking for something real and something that could last, you can't come out the gate declaring that you're looking for that. It's going to attract the wrong kind of people, both on the men and women side of it tbh. Most lasting relationships don't happen overnight, they *need* to be built-up over time. I know it sucks to feel like you're alone or like you're constantly being rejected, I've been there. But there is going to be a lot of trial and error in especially online relationships. Just keep getting to know people and be friendly with them and let things develop naturally.

[@nattyboop4]

Bro really typed all that out describing him as lonely 200 times which sounds more like an aesthetic than the reality. People like this always perceive things way were than they actually are. We use to just call this emo. If he really didn't want to be "lonely" he'd have some introspection on what he's doing and how he's behaving and try to change his habits and push himself. We live in a world now were loneliness really is optional. The amount of passionate romance this guy is dying to have sounds misplaced and confused and he doesn't understand what the concept of love is rather than just connecting with people first and letting the blanks fill themselves along the way. He is a chemistry buzzkill and is obsessing way too much.

[@trinitypolidori3369]

Awesome video I hope to show up for a stream when I can since I never have before looks fun!🎉

[@kevinkim8474]

Looking for something on a video game is wilddd

[@Ihatenamingnames1]

Absolutely terrifying how many people are desperately searching for more than a friendship in ffxiv rp

[@Milkjiest]

He reminds me of my one friend in my friend group. He tried ME for several years and i was always like no, we are just friends. And he is just as obsessed with getting a girlfriend as this person..

[@MassiveGhost-]

Man I keep learning new stuff so there is a discord now

[@ThatSleepyDomanCatte]

I feel that OP is looking for a needle in a haystack. Trying to find a connection but the trend and pattern from “girl” to “girl” runs like clockwork. I feel he needs to just have friends, almost like you said Pathra, because there is a lot of people on the game. A variety so. I do understand the want for companionship and a connection to play the game with, but sometimes you have to not rush and jump in to a “Hey this looks like a potential relationship!” Just to go down the slide and end up hurt. I do hope OP finds what he is looking for without being so desperate. ❤

[@IchiExorz]

Yeah in my opinion its better to not try to play the game to find someone. just be nice, be kind and talk to people casually. Be yourself. After a while some may stick around and you can see if itgoes anywhere. If not that's fine too. If you go into something thinking or hoping for more from the start you will only disappoint yourself in the end because you hoped for more and honestly 9 times out of 10 it's not going to lead up to anything. Especially online. I've met plenty of girls online over the years and honestly if i got close to 1/10th of them then that's a lot. Most ofthem i just hung around with, as i would with guy friends too, sometimes they'd leave or stick around as friends just like guy friends would. And after a while it MAY lead to more. If it does then you can have more hopes. But even then a LOT can still go wrong. You aalso have to take your time getting to know them more than just "they seem nice" and "we have similar inerests." because in actual relationships, even long distance ones there are a LOT of things that could make or break it in the end. Mostly morals & values. But long story short. Just take it easy & do what you enjoy but don't go out of your way to find girls and hope for more than just friends early on.

[@ChronicallyKiki]

OP sounds like they're clinging to ANYONE, instead of waiting for the right someone.

[@LocTsun]

Always be on the lookout so you dont push the girl away by ignoring her but dont go and push for it. Ive seen a lonely guy like this end up killing his chances with a girl becauae he played too hard to get

[@LunariLady]

Yay finally catch one as you post 😊

[@primrosegale7558]

Op said he couldn't find anyone to play games with. But didn't seem to make a effort to play with anyone, over valuing friendships. I really hope they learn to not take others for granted.

[@suparicky8889]

As a married man in irl my i was single my whole teenage life till turned 17 meet my wife while i wasnt even looking for any of those suffering like i did dont worry about it dont look let it come naturally going on a huge journey + extara sidequest for love or maybe finding love aint worth it not everyone will find someone let it come to u jus like fishing

[@Oceanstalker]

OP: "Love yourself first," "You are so naive," "Man up," "Stop being too forward," "Stop trying too hard." WELL TELL ME SOMETHING I HAVEN'T ALREADY FUCKING HEARD! Me: First of all you are NOT naive for wanting to be wanted or wanting to mean something to someone; for love and respect is a privilege entitled to EVERYONE. With that said, I grant you my validation. Your welcome. Once you have rested and had enough bullshit I suggest you try SMARTER instead of harder. Consider of these steps: 1. Keep yourself and everyone on the same level. We're all a bunch struggling reprobates after all. 2. If you have managed to hear your intuition's warning GTFO, 'cause 97% of the times your sinking gut IS RIGHT. Plus avoiding bullshit is one of the ways you could learn to love yourself. 3. Give a little of your love and trust at a time, invest small and expect small to be given back to you. Let them EARN your bigger amount. No compromise. Otherwise you limit your trust at best. And at worse... your are always free to leave.

[@DICEBOY22]

Hope this dude can find a grand happy satisfaction in life beyond women. Dude is searching for the wrong thing in wrong places. All I can do is pray for him... As a guy I can't really be mad or " OMG so cringe " at him... Because I've been their as a teen as well.

[@NymphiusE]

Op, if you read this, please stop trying to hurry love and focus on yourself, love will eventually find you. If you can't love yourself how the hell you're gonna love somebody else?

[@hipstertrash7541]

Im so confused when people treat this game as a dating app instead of what it actually is. This is a social game, I understand that, but let bonds form naturally.

[@bluezhift]

I feel really bad for OP! To echo what others have said, just relax and enjoy playing the game. If there's someone for you there, you'll find them eventually and if not, at least you're enjoying something you already love. If possible, try to make some IRL friends who also play the game. I know this can be hard, but if you can find local gaming groups or meet people at game conventions or anime or comic cons, then that might be just the IRL connection you really want. In any case, I hope that you will find happiness in whatever shape it takes.

[@sugarmilk28]

He doesnt understand what " lonely" means. A lot of his actual issues lie with his attitude and pressure to fulfill his own desires while ignoring that people are not perfect. If his intentions are constantly trying to find a mate, he will scare off people and never create a strong connection. His goal is not to have someone to play with or to talk with( you can do that with most players lol)...but someone who can PERFECTLY fulfill his emotions and wants. He definitely needs to start focusing on making friends and bonding with people without obsessing over making every girl their mate.

[@Dndstories]

I really think in order to find a healthy relationship with anyone. You need to be in a healthy relationship with yourself.

[@SplitxHeart]

I think OPs biggest issue was considering actual love to be something SIMPLE. It isn't, you can perhaps find chemistry pretty quickly, but actual love? No, listen, you need to work for that, it takes time and you can't force it. Actual love is NOT SIMPLE OR EASY. Also not a lot of people seek love in places where it doesn't usually belong. I for example really avoid it like the pest in FF14, it is extremely distracting from my desire to just play the game. So yeah, totally on your boat Pathra. Also, no hard feelings to people who found love in the game or play the game with their partner: 1. I am happy for you 2. Have a lovely time, you go enjoy that game! :)

[@richardrivera8571]

I relate with this story, like sorry i am just like being nice and social nothing more. Is a game for me no a dating simulator yeah some people can find love here but act like a stalker just because someone was nice no thanks

[@beeIovely]

i saw many people confused about OP's sexual acts when he claimed to be asexual. there's something called being gray-ace! just like many sexualities, asexuality exists on a spectrum. no one person is the same as the other and that goes beyond things such as looks and personality. sexualities can look different, too. gray asexuals largely don't feel sexual attraction the way "normal people" do. little to none, usually. although the assumption is usually "none." in my case i feel no physical interest nor need to be intimate with people whatsoever. however - when it comes to fiction? writing? artwork? erp? that's a completely different game. the idea of playing around with fantasy boundaries is really exciting! and - depending on who i'm exploring it with - it can be very intimate to the point i wouldn't want to do it with just anyone. hope that makes sense. :)

[@Fraqsu]

to add to this a little bit some asexuals can be repulsed by sexual things or be okay with it. It's just that there's no sexual attraction and the most common reasons for sexual stuff as asexual would be to show that you care about the other person or and to fulfill their needs or to have children.

[@beeIovely]

@@Fraqsu yeah, this too! i think it's wonderful how diverse it is

[@kungfuvoodoo9889]

My last long-term relationship was with an ace person, and we happened to meet via ERP. It was difficult to wrap my mind around what they got out of the ERP and by the time we met IRL we had communicated what each other's physical needs were, we both loved cuddling a lot and and they were okay with sex (they just got no gratification out of it). As of now though, I don't think I can do a relationship like that again because a large part of my enjoyment in sex comes from my partner getting gratification from it, and that's not me saying that it was my ex's fault but the incompatibility there was frustrating even if other aspects of the relationship were good. But yeah I have a lot more understanding and empathy towards people on the ace spectrum and I hope if they're actively seeking partners they find ones that they're compatible with.

[@beeIovely]

@@kungfuvoodoo9889 it's unfortunate the relationship didn't work out, but you did the right thing! the most important thing is that all parties involved have their emotional and - if they have them - physical needs fulfilled. you got to know yourself better through that relationship and formed a more refined picture of what you need from the next person you meet. i'm also glad it widened your understanding towards ace-spec people. it's very appreciated!

[@txallstarking]

Too me what he expects in FFXIV feels like he’s failing before it starts not to be mean but let it just happen natural

[@azadalamiq]

this reminds me if a short term ex I had... he delved into stalker likev behavior till i moved off server. a friend of mine ran into him at a venue and come to find out after several months he still thinks iof me ad gave off as still bring into me.

[@MekareP]

My advice is the same as Pathra: stop trying so hard. The reason so many people always say this is because it works. Not just in game but in general.

[@sneakytrip6594]

Wait. What's going on in the gameplay in the back? Are they just chillin' listening to story time? If so, that's pretty cute. Lol.

[@pathra]

That is absolutely what is happening. These stories get read live and then get edited individually to be placed on KZbin

[@biandmc978]

WOMAN ROULETTE

[@AS-wv3if]

too many people think ff14 is a dating app

[@Meka-qq1tj]

I want love but I wouldn't use mmo to find a partner. (Even though I'll marry one of my friends characters for the stuff that comes with the enteral bond.)

[@ehwick8175]

Dang, dating savage.

[@OTOBIOhazord]

My partner usually COMES when im not looking for it. 😢

[@ikeaira8701]

Penumbra and Mare Sync are the worst things to ever happen to this game's community, and no one can tell me otherwise.

[@Jamalboseman]

Facts A girl that had mods kept trying to downplay me for saying I don't need mods fr

[@Chrisderderderder]

Just today i notice i m not suscribe wtf the actual fuxk i love this channel why i dis suscribe maybe got hack 😢

[@settphel4ever]

Just like you said OP actively looking for it and seeking out bonds with people with intentions of love. I think OP needs to work inwardly before trying to seek out intimacy with others. It does suck to want a bond, but entertaining every bond with someone in the game as a means for romance can be very offputting and scary in my personal opinion. I'd also add from the perspective of a RPer--though most of my experiences is in the tumblr rp scene and very minimal in this game's rp scene--OP is also taking ERP a tad too seriously. Some do, yes, write spicy content as a gratifying concept but I know far more people who just find it a fun topic to write. So many of the people I know that write ERP are asexual and it's like an escapism thing and I also know others who use it as a means to cope with trauma. ERP is different to different people and will admit OP describing it as he did was an ick. But overall I hope OP can maybe do things to better himself including mental health be it taking a break from the game and doing something out of the norm but something that doesn't seem to cause stress and maybe return with a clearer head. Don't focus too much on finding love and rather just focus on building connections and friendships first and foremost. I wish nothing but the best for OP. Sorry this is so rambly the discussions on ERP and how it was discribed just irked me and i had to put my two cents as someone who knows plenty of spicy rpers and writers adn who has done so myself too. Simply wrapping it all in it's gratification is icky. Just no.

[@QaDri93]

Creepy Desperate Boy

[@claramiqo7691]

I met both my husbands (polyamory) through WoW and we weren't looking for love. Just sorta happened. Looking for love means you literally won't find it.

[@shaece798]

never use dating sites, they are just competitions for women to choose the best person to date or have a fling with for entertainment, you can't really expect to be on a website where a bunch of dudes are advertising themselves and not expect them to filter out and choose the best ones.

[@revolutionarymagic3459]

At least this got me to try out lovebringers lmao

[@shirox11]

The guy needs to focus on himself first, and learn how to be happy even if he isn’t with someone. Try and make some friends (strictly just friends) and if he finds something, good for him. I would never say to people “don’t date people you meet in a video game” because that would be pretty hypocritical of me considering i met my wife in XIV. Just don’t play the game with the expectations of meeting someone like that though.

[@Oliviablackstarff14]

I met my boyfriend on ffxiv and he asked me to marry him IRL. I said yes!

[@obliviouschipmunk6539]

"Asexual" is not synonymous with "down on your luck with the ladies" but a lot of guys view it that way.

[@Redfield253]

OP needs some self love yo Dx chin up little buddy, LOVE WILL FIND ITS WAY TO YOU

[@Pompadourius]

Dude sounds like me from about 4 or 5 years ago. He needs to get over himself and realize that there's more he needs to work on with himself instead of consciously pursuing relationships, and stop with the, "I'll never find love, it's not meant for me," pity party. Or at least, it reads as a pity party, because I had a similar self-defeating viewpoint some years back and it sucks to live with.

[@bransonchic678]

Yayyy, a drama story from ya ty !

[@coloxrme]

It's typical incel behaviour, and the sad part is that a lot of men are in fact that way just looking for anyone to be in a relationship with because it's just THAT hard for a man to be in the dating scene. The moment a young man doesn't have wealth and looks, they're out of the game as opposed to young women, whom, might I add, is clearly seen many times in these FF14 stories being in relationships after relationships. Paired with the possibility that OP probably never really had a good male role model growing up and doesn't know his own value as a man, as an individual, and just further sinks himself in self-depreciation to the point where he has no standards for himself as well as a partner, apart from them being a woman of course. Just look up Norah Vincent (RIP) and her books which describes her entire journey of passing as a man in society and you'll understand why incels exists. I'm not an incel myself, but I feel for these people.

[@BenkaiDebussy]

Jeez this one is exceptionally pathetic

[@kahome]

OP should delete ffxiv, go to the gym and work on themselves.

[@Tailionis]

Yes, than its alot easier to accept being alone. You have your own goals and dreams, and if someone comes along, good. If not, good.

[@Tailionis]

I see drama. I click.

[@will-9928]

bro hunts for women like a shark hunts for blood and "erps for the story". Yikes

[@1MayWolf]

I do want to say when I feel like when you're desperate and actively looking for a relationship you'll take anyone. You won't see the red flags or you'll overlook them. I highly recommend just enjoying self and doing things that are fun for you. I feel like for a lasting relationship they come when you least expect it and when you aren't actively looking. Just give it time.

[@BenkaiDebussy]

If someone is an adult who isn't still in college (or some other organized social environment) you actually do need to put yourself out there and actively look (maybe this is a little more true for men, but I think it applies to most people). If you just keep living normally and going to work, etc, years will pass without anything ever changing. So people like the OP should keep trying to date, but they should do it appropriately and honestly. Use actual dating apps that are meant for it, and get real experience that isn't just "desperately throwing your feelings at women online." Or join new IRL social groups, but without daring as a priority.

[@Midnight_Black_Cat]

I'm Asexual too Lonely OP. Wish I knew ya lol

[@kimfry4019]

FXIV is not a dating game, just play the game, don't go for love just let it be, if it happens that's great if not that's great too.

[@Discount_blackbeard]

Bro need to go to the gym

[@Qkochan3]

if ur anti-social, don't play an mmo. that's the entire point of the game. and secondly, just play the damn game. a game is for gaming, not hooking up