Why Won't Passive Aggressive Narcissists Cease Their Antics?

[@SagittariusSweet704]

Their passive aggression absolutely does create tension and frustration, all unnecessarily so. They hold grudges forever. You can’t apologize enough. Can’t confront the issue head on. They get amnesia about what they’ve done (all while bringing up unrelated things you’ve done - no matter how long ago - to victimize themselves) and won’t admit to anything you’re trying to address. Yet they tell everyone else their issue with you (even adding in lies to smear your name) before denying there’s an issue altogether. There is literally no resolution.

[@EveIsata]

Epitome of evil

[@sreed5633]

My situation exactly

[@SUSANPOLLARD-h5n]

Soo agree they hold a grudge

[@Softtearsofwisdom...]

@@EveIsata 🎯

[@lizpetruzzi7700]

This is an excellent summary 💯 accurate

[@anniethompson1041]

"Narcissism is the absense of love." I'm going to remember that one, thank you Dr. C.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Because they get a kick out of it!

[@VgVi13]

@amandaliverpool3374 Actually, we are the ones that get the "kick" out of it. ugh. 😉

[@RobNiser]

Because they like it , they enjoy it to have the power over another person .

[@NavyMa7]

So frustrating, the narcassist in my life is deep into the discard phase and they are having trouble keeping the mask on and pretending

[@littlecupcakespuppies]

that's a good thing!!!

[@well_weathered]

​@littlecupcakespuppiesAgreed

[@lizpetruzzi7700]

Best gift he ever gave

[@josephaddition]

Prayers. Please check out Kris Reece.

[@josephaddition]

Prayers. Please check out Kris Reece.

[@SeekPeace-000]

I don't think a person can ever "win" when dealing with a narcissist. They are so cunning. In my past situation it seemed they weaponized every action and my every word.

[@VgVi13]

@SeekPeace-000 And everything you have and everything you do. Nothing is off the table with them. They'll gossip about everything from the furniture in your home to where you go on a regular basis.

[@carolentringer8836]

driven by fear, need to control, and intent to punish

[@DaisyChain44-d3x]

Thank you, this describes why my sister-in-law will always be a problem. And "antics" is right lol ...this is why hubby and I have set really big boundaries with her and limit our exposure to her; and recently we needed to tell her not to send any more gifts or they will be returned. Her *gifts* came with strings attached, so no more and no thank you!

[@rosieE121]

They sure are good at pretending to care.

[@Silvia-tj5ks]

Thank you Dr.C, you have helped me so much. Breaking generational patterns and making a better life for me and my daughters❤❤

[@manapeace]

“The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist” by Debbie Mirza is a great deep dive on this topic.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yes...I really like her work.

[@BemaSeatAcademy]

Dr C, your timing and topics seem to be always what I need in the moment. You are so led by the Holy Sprit

[@julieanna8495]

Dr. Carter, you are a breath of fresh air. You have been SO very helpful to me in awakening and understanding the dynamics of narcissism. 🙌😁. Your calm, reassuring voice alongside your valuable wisdom has helped me to disentangle myself from several of these disordered family members. Again, thank you for being you-a person of peace. ✨

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You are quite welcome.

[@deboraharies6983]

Excellent video! First time over a lot of years listening and learning, have I heard this subject expressed, and very well!! Thank you!!

[@rosieE121]

I have had both kinds of narcissists in my life. The anger comes out in one way or another. Revealing them is dangerous.

[@Softtearsofwisdom...]

🎯

[@Mehmet-rw9bu]

The most aggressive of all passive-aggressive actions is probably the constant criticism and the exclusive focus on your “negative” sides. And the most hidden passive aggression is probably the way they talk to you. It always feels like you're sitting in a courtroom being accused of something, or like you're sitting in an interrogation room.

[@Katie-v9q1t]

Thank you Dr C for your amazing content and videos!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank, Katie!

[@Cassiemom-1234]

Very good video, Thank you. Yes winning means everything to them. The sad truth is they usually win because people are scared of their rage fits and give in. This is how they keep family and friends in line. They are scary people.

[@jwilson6315]

@Cassiemom-1234 Yes they are scary because you can't tell what they're thinking. They hide their aggression then pounce on you verbally and sometimes physically. My mother hit me once, just out of the blue. Why did you just hit me? The response from her was "I don't need a reason" which is so loaded with intimidation. It was like treading on rice paper. I'm sure that's what turned me into a young person who strove to please people. I'm still in the anger phase about all that happened

[@LiveforHim73]

All the short list fits! The long list caused me to realize there is no chance to make things right. I’ll never be right. I informed my sister he will not acknowledge our Mothers legal wishes. If one of my kids did this to me and my husband they would be taken out of our wishes. Especially if they acted out the way this sibling has towards me. All he cared about was how much he could get out of us. When we figured out he was ungrateful and bad mouthed us, it was over. Arrogant Egos lose!

[@Arrtists]

This is so spot on Dr C.

[@sukiyakking9138]

Looking forward to this one!

[@Courteny283]

Why is better help therapy so expensive? I understand that Doctors need to be paid but most people can't afford it especially in the times we're living in. Having to choose between eating,rent and mental health is insane. However, Thank you for your channel and help. 🙏🏿

[@joanna0988]

All therapy is expensive 😢 I'm in Canada and my therapist is $145/hour and she's a registered clinical counselor. Psychologists are over $200 an hour. Our extended medical covers $1000 a year of therapy.

[@Courteny283]

@joanna0988 Wow! this is why I'm healing myself. I hope your healing journey goes well. God bless you🙏🏿

[@joanna0988]

@@Courteny283 There are so many good resources online that I truly believe you can do a lot of the work yourself ❤️ Thank you and good luck to you too.

[@notagain9437]

They love the "gotch game" every chance they get. I love the invalididation they constantly show to make themselves feel better. NOT! Terrible people. I can't wait to get away from this person. Highly narcissistic.

[@sreed5633]

Same here

[@Meowminx]

All 18 years of being with now I know is a true passive aggressive covert narc ex h. Seven years on after getting out, I'm still trying to come to terms with it.

[@markjayw666]

Just understand you were with an actor. Nothing was real. Once you accept that it seriously helps.

[@SagittariusSweet704]

This deeply resonates. I’m five years out and still healing from a relationship, and a year out from going no contact with family that behaves the same way. They really ruin your ability to trust.

[@JohnnyMason-p7u]

​@@markjayw666after I found out they never did love me but made me say it a thousand times game over not the same game anymore

[@aaronkwolfe]

Catching coffee with CJ this morning, will try for “Hi” at minimum.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

That's lovely 🙏👍

[@rondasparks]

Because they need the attention

[@Sharlene-x4q]

I remember a nurse I used to work with who complained that people didn't like her. When I said maybe she should change her attitude she told me she liked her attitude. Go figure 😂😂😂

[@shylohmonster]

Thanks again, Dr C. I'm happy Team Healthy has such an effective and wonderful coach.

[@Angela-ul9si]

This is the confirmation that I need. Thank you Dr. C

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad it was helpful!

[@mishko5491]

On time I made it Thanks Blessings

[@Hatbox948]

My nex was really bad about holding grudges. He'd bring up incidents from ten years ago. He'd still be hot under the collar, and most of it was trivial stuff. I want to get over it all, but even thinking about him makes me anxious. Once the fog was lifted and I saw him clearly, I realized how screwed up he truly was.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@Hatbox948 Indeed ❣️

[@taboovsknowledge1603]

I have been with an (N) woman for ten almost 11 years, on and off, move in, move out. Left her for good about 3 years ago. She begs and doesn't stop coming around. A year+ goes' by and all seems good, she's behaving. So, I move back in with her. Two years later and I am making plans for moving out. She can't change her ways. Mean, gaslighting & hypocrisy! I stop talking when I realize she's doing it again, and I just stop! Subjects are childish and senseless. I'm not codependent. I have something else wrong with me. I don't know what it's called but it is an issue. I just keep trying! Did the same thing with my wife when she went woke. With her I stuck it out for my son. I don't have kids with this woman. Why do I find it hard to leave? Her symptoms are absolute. I'm no cuck. I'm a BMF. But when it comes to family...

[@Arrtists]

They’ll completely refuse to solve anything only to sweep it under the rug only for them to bring it up again down the road with more fury

[@LiveforHim73]

And he would never step foot into a counselors office.

[@LMorningstar-yv8ou]

Its not just narcs who use passive aggression also, remember. Codependents love it too

[@elcee7800]

It’s so ugly.

[@sherrypennington6015]

No love. Only a tool at my mother’s disposal. A literal dumping station for verbal abuse and mind games. Relishes in rattling my mind.

[@danemartin5674]

You won't be able to go forward with them, only at your own expense. And they are not worth it...

[@BaraSchmidt]

Simply, THEY don't care! And Judgy-Grudgy was a bear! The subconscious mind seeks it's comfort zone, and based on THEIR schtick, this is THEIRS! Move quickly to the nearest exit! Healthy awaits on the other side. Stay Healthy!!

[@josephaddition]

Thank you Sir

[@Ford98270]

My Narc FIL - 85. Pens letters to 5 kids, ages 55 to 65. One letter to all and it’s always addressed as “My Children”. Rather than there names or an opening greeting. Is this another common check mark identifying his personality?

[@richardpurcella7206]

What is the difference between silent treatment and Grey rock?

[@michelleharkness7549]

Central Time Zone- Nortb America: btw: technical support team and admin staff: btw: thank you 😊: again: thank you 😊: San Angelo, Texas/ bless

[@michelleharkness7549]

For the record- please give Puppy 🐶 GUS an enormous hug 🤗 from me/ Congratulations 🎉: sending good vibes 😎

[@michelleharkness7549]

For the record- btw: thank you 😊, Doctor Carter: again: thank you 😊: from San Angelo Texas- SJT