The Joke Is On The Narcissist Once You Recognize THIS

A foundational ingredient to narcissism is the insistence upon being in control. They simply cannot stop themselves, and it can you leave you wondering: "Is this some sort of cruel joke they are playing on me? What kind of person feels the need to elevate oneself by controlling another?" But Dr. Les Carter helps you see behind the scenes to identify how they are actually kidding themselves as they seek this pattern of life. The joke is not on you, but on the narcissist.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
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[@akgstone]

The narcissist's life is a joke because being an immature adult is extremely sad

[@Rubbaduckie1975]

What's even more Sad is that they don't even see it, they have no capacity to self reflect.🤷‍♀️

[@tranquility9325]

@@Rubbaduckie1975 for sure

[@peterknyk1942]

Unfortunate! 😔

[@amorfati8084]

So true. They come on all nice until you say no! Then watch out!

[@ashleythibault5434]

So very true!

[@mariaawake4502]

The joke is on the narcissist once you recognize you are not dealing with a psychologically healthy person , get educated on this disorder and gain your emotional stability back.😊

[@ruthrodriguez7694]

@maria awake go girl!!!!!

[@kathyadair8552]

"Narc. 💪Warriors," ALL! 💜💛💚 ~ 💞 💫 It may be⚡Time to ⛈ ROCK 🌬 *their*🌀 Boats! ~ | 🇺🇸 🌊 🛶 🚤 🛥🌀⛴ 🛳 🚢

[@cmaggie5748]

Just git away from one. Instead of telling him I wanted to leave I should have left when hevwaa sleeping. He couldn't control me so he got so mad and did damage to my car. He seemed so kind fir so very long. No. He's cruel and mean

[@SteeleMagnolia]

Yes, the joke is on the narcissist, but DO NOT retaliate against one. Any action other than just freeing yourself from their existence will have severe consequences for you. Once you've discovered the monster within them, carefully plan your exit, and go no-contact for the remainder of your existence.

[@claddaghclare22]

It's so mentally and emotionally draining. The 'no contact ' helped me get clarity on all the games. Now there's no going back. I'm educated, now!

[@ChristChickAutistic]

When someone shows you who they truly are, believe them. Good or bad.

[@ld3418]

Maya Angelou, a quote in my daily reminders surviving abusive malignant narcissist mother and son

[@SRose-zb2so]

You are so right! It's a shame the narcissist quoted that when we first got together. I should have listened and wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now😣!

[@anniebrowning7354]

@@SRose-zb2so Don't blame yrself when its abt a narcissist. They lie all the time and they are good at it. I knew a female friend whom I thought was bad to me. But I was already in love. And she was not late to bring something beautiful she knew I wanted, so I stayed. You don't leave someone who overthrough you a lots of nice presents. Not in the beginning of the lies. You're only human.

[@karendixon401]

Except don't believe lovebombing if it is mixed with abuse.

[@ChristChickAutistic]

@@karendixon401 of course, that's where intuition comes in, lol! Too bad so many people don't listen to theirs.

[@CandiGiampi]

For me it's like their spirit or energy gives off chaos and negativity just by entering the room.

[@justmichael6628]

( TRUTHFUL )

[@lorrainem8234]

For real. My narc gave one of my teen sons and his friend a ride somewhere. My son said that his friend told him it was one of the most awkward vibes he had ever experienced.

[@harrietthornton5328]

Morning dacharmon7 I often Wondered why I felt so drained and stressed around them. I'm exhausted. Trying to Feel better now that I realize They actually do drain you.

[@CandiGiampi]

@@harrietthornton5328 it's hard to see it that way when of fact that's what is happening. Good afternoon 🌞

[@CandiGiampi]

I would assume people who are remotely on the spectrum of "normal" may sense what is off.

[@CreoleLadyBug]

Belittling, triangulation, silence, rage, I could go on and on. Honestly it’s not worth the mental anguish.

[@niccole8530]

🥺🙏

[@dsaylor36]

You got that right. When they say you should run ( if the narcicisst is at the severe end). They will try to kill you and look like they are helping and that they are the victim. How SICK is that??!!!

[@natinamack5123]

It's not at all.

[@ItsMe-ke6qw]

I agree..peace of mind is much more worth than sick narc environment

[@song8777]

No, it's sure not. Thanks. 💛

[@houseplantnerd2872]

I think it's fair to say all narcissists are bullies.

[@prunelle9051]

Ignore, move away and move on. You know you go. No need to engage with nonsense.

[@AmyInArizona]

I did that. Moved from Oregon to Arizona, but it didn’t help totally, not when the controlling narcissist is your mother.

[@meganlambley6429]

Makes it hard when you have children with a narcissist to do this....

[@ime7918]

Moving away and moving on is good until the narcissist mother comes to visit and spreads her doom. They never get the hint that you want out.

[@AZDC99]

Yep! Every bit of JADE (justifying, arguing, defending, explaining) is definitely giving them supply with 20/20 hindsight. I used to think it was a authentic argument from them. But now I see it as a satanic chess SETUP. Take the so-called "L" instead. Let them get the last word and laugh walking away instead. Let them be the pigeon that shits all over the chess board and then declares victory ("I win!). Just set yourself free. As Kevin of The Royal We said, "Let them be seeing your backside be the last thing they ever hear from you!" Naturally you're going to DEER (defend, excuse, explain, rationalize) a little at the end if you're many people including myself. Ultimately just say GAME OVER, or act out a GAME OVER maneuver where you no longer deal with their crap anymore!

[@keplermission4947]

You'll be trying to build a friendship with a narcissist only to find they want you to suffer and if you give them something just for a test, you'll see them toying with as they would with a nice new whip they've been gifted in the mail, unwrapping it and sniffing the aroma of the new leather. Then uh ... they'll strike you with it ... yes they'll beat you with it right away - this person that you've been trying to befriend. All the narcissist wants is to enjoy your suffering, if they can bring it about, they will. So you have to learn to identify them and you know, get rid of them like diseases or pests in your garden.

[@imnoel8214]

"The whole pattern of narcissism is built on illogic and dysfunction." The joke's on them, and they'll never get it. But we get it, and the last laugh is ours in freedom.

[@xannaxanna9854]

Wow this great way of putting it. 👏

[@lollipop3136]

ILL-ogic

[@cindybuntain9361]

Well said

[@hopeinhumanity.]

It is truly therapeutic to have someone articulate with great detail the chaotic nature of these humans. They take away from life rather than adding to life. It’s sad. Thanks Dr. C 😊

[@denicehaley9902]

I’ve always said my narcissistic husband is a life leach not a life giver. Perfect analogy!

[@rachelmartineau8102]

I Agree! He has helped me tremendously in understanding my narc sister.

[@susansheldon2707]

My husband and his siblings all learned from their family's chief narc, their father, to pick people apart - to always look for anything negative to say but NEVER to find anything to compliment or build up. I'm strong, but sometimes I feel I'm just keeping my head above water, little better. I've had to be self-supportive because he doesn't give support but he DOES act as a bloodsucker, day in and day out. No matter what questions I ask him, like those Dr. Carter spells out, it never makes any difference. He simply will not examine himself and answer those questions. The result? after 40+ years, no growth, no improvement, at times not one hint of humanity.

[@denicehaley9902]

@@susansheldon2707, we’re in similar boats-both my father-in-law and my dad are narcissists. Father-in-law is covert, dad overt, husband combo. I’ll pray for you, Susan. I feel your heartache since we’re walking on the same hellish road.

[@susansheldon2707]

@@denicehaley9902 And I will pray for you, too. The LORD is my real hope, but even so my effort at endurance wears thin at times.

[@NATALIEKING1976]

I have said this for years to my grandiose malignant narcissist mother.......... “you are in charge of Jack and shit,, and Jack left town years ago”. I’m the scapegoat of the family and a happy little grey rock. I learned as a young child not to be afraid of monsters under my bed because my mother is way more scary of a monster than anything Hollywood can ever come up with.

[@AtWhatRedLight]

Mine too sweetheart mine too.

[@joeboxter3635]

You are in charge of Jack shit, and Jack left town years ago and left his shit behind and that's you ... Lol.

[@DavidFraser007]

We scapegoats are the survivors because we can see through the fog. But the price we pay is just being blamed for anything and everything.

[@kellymackie4836]

Bwahahaha!! I love how you worded it 😆😅🤭🤭

[@sirtedricwalker2979]

Wow....I KNOW it's not funny but I really laughed at your comment!

[@JessicaJLandi]

So true that there is an obvious lack of peace in the narcissists. Lack of joy, too.

[@shelley7975]

They are miserable unless someone is entertaining them.

[@michellewall6748]

Absolutely no joy!!! Just miserable horrible monsters!!

[@travismcdaniel2034]

💯

[@emmas2771]

True, no joy at all, their fun is mocking other people. Lucky the one that can entertain themselves by looking at their own self. There is no end of material then!

[@fahrgast237]

My spouse would be quick to blame me for her lack of peace. How can she feel peace when she is married to an incompetent boob? That's pretty much the narrative.

[@brianlane9534]

A couple years ago I said to a friend that I feel like I'm the subject of some cruel social experiment. The things she would do are so far off the charts that it couldn't be real. That her actions were a test to see how much I could take before I lost my mind. I really did share that with a couple people. I also said it feels like I'm living with a two year old. It wasn't until I discovered narcissism as a real thing six months ago that it all started to make sense. It didn't make sense, but it made sense why it didn't make sense. It was nuts.

[@harrietthornton5328]

Morning Brian lane, I absolutely feel that Way with two close Family members. I finally let them go. They think I'm a game To play. My kindness and Love are treated with Contempt and name Calling. Unbelievable. It has taken me years To believe they could Hate me so much. As the song from The 70s I believe it was That said "I can see clearly Now the rain is gone".

[@sonjabrady1032]

Yes I'm over 21 years of this sucking The life out of me .LOVE ❤️.

[@lynneleverton8825]

I used to say that to my x husband. Oh my God it's like having a conversation with a two year old! lol.

[@margareth1504]

Love how you said - it made sense that it didnt make sense. I understand what you were saying.

[@JennieNMoya]

OMG you took the words out of my mouth. I felt like I was going nuts because this was so nuts. Nobody seeing this? He is extremely good at making me look nuts. Thank God for videos like this to get educated.

[@lauriej.5706]

My mother was a narcissist. I am 77 years old now and she's been gone for 20 years yet I have never recovered from having her as a mother.

[@traciesommerville3819]

You heal day by day.

[@littleiodine9480]

If we continue to BLAME- we never take the reason nor steps for self growth. It is OUR choice.

[@user-wz4bz2fn6s]

Iam so sorry. But you are not alone.

[@pamelaself5030]

The narcissist that I was married to never knew me at all, he was so busy controlling me and dominating me that when I finally broke his hold on me, he was so dumbfounded and stated that he never knew me like he was in total surprise. How sad that I wasted 37 years of my life on somebody that was so clueless.

[@jennifermoore4246]

That is so sad :( I'm sure you are a wonderful person worthy of getting to know! ❤️

[@pamelaself5030]

@@jennifermoore4246 Thank you, I'm an older woman, blessed by the Father, He brought me through that dark time and I'm living in His light and very thankful for His love.

[@jennifermoore4246]

@@pamelaself5030 Praise His name! I too, have found in God the love and approval I craved but was never able to earn/receive from a broken person. May the Father wipe all your tears and heal all your wounds 🙏

[@gailrosenberg48]

Trying to please the unpleasable, reach the unreachable. 35 years. Negative, toxic, claiming faith in Christ. Crazy-making. I will never be the person I was before, but I lean hard on the Lord and know He loves and approves of me. Our momentary light affliction in working in us an eternal weight of glory. See y'all on the other side!

[@kimwilliams5014]

I have been married to a covert narcissist for 12 years, and I realized recently that I could either get out now (since reconciliation didn’t work after he ________), or I could wait until I was in my sixties. But I imagine that will be much harder, so I am preparing now. I was so afraid to leave for so long, but God has strengthened my faith in Him, promising that He would supply ALL my needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus! Woohoo! This won’t be easy, but it’s God’s job to take care of us… hallelujah!

[@user-onyoutube868]

The narcissist is out of control. The number one factor the narcissist likes to fob off on you is that you are to blame for their problems, whatever that entails. The thing is, they had severe problems before you entered their life, and continue after you leave them in the dust.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

Said to the narcissist… “You are free be whomever and whatever you want to be. You’re just not free to be mean to someone else or to ME. I am free to be me. And if you’re mean to me, i am free to not be around you. Buh bye.”

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're on it, Kelly!

[@sage9836]

That's crisply said. How to take the high road!

[@62WILDCAT]

The time he said to me : I can speak to you anyway I want to ! My reply was : yes you can ,you may not like what happens next ! I simply stopped reacting to his hatefulness & most of the time just removed myself from the room & often from the premises !

[@tonygriffiths9907]

Are you free to be with me?🌹

[@LindaC616]

@@tonygriffiths9907 away with you, bot!

[@tranquility9325]

I realized that too, that one looney individual lives to control others but yet can't regulate her own life.

[@crtuakoi]

😅😢 exactly 💯

[@lisarochwarg4707]

Never ask questions of a person who has a severe case of arrested development. No seven year old is capable of answering the questions posed in this video, and neither is any narcissist. They're light years away from providing a thought out answer.

[@DmitryDaren]

yep, I just thought, has the doctor tried to ask those questions to those ...

[@Voirreydirector]

But they aren’t just child ish, right? Isn’t it more like a diseased mind?

[@mqua4610]

@@Voirreydirector I think you are right. It’s in the DSM as a personality disorder, not a disease but from my point of view, it sure looks diseased. I had a friend years ago who told me she was diagnosed borderline personality. Things were fine with us until she got in with a crowd, who eventually swindled her out of money. I warned her nicely but she exploded and I could hear her over the phone, “gerrr, gerr” and “ I hate you, I hate you.” We didn’t speak for a year then I got a letter from her telling me her therapist wanted her to apologize or reconnect or something. She told me that she gave money to this organization (cult in my book) and she was sorry for having yelled at me. We became friends again until the next explosion. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that these people can’t process these questions Dr. C. is stating, he’s telling us they can’t like a normal person would. Their brains are not normal in my opinion, but this is just my opinion of these people.

[@lisarochwarg4707]

@@Voirreydirector Definitely. It isn't just immaturity---it's much much worse.

[@budogacha]

These questions must be posed in court or in front an audience otherwise it backfires.they cant reflect on their action they just honour the law of stupidity.

[@bronwyntanner4501]

OH wow - you are describing my entire 14 year insane marriage to the passive aggressive covert narcissist. I was soooooooooooooo confused for so long. Divorced and left June 2017. Happy joyous and free from all of that awful stuff. Illogical! Unreasonable!! Irrational!!!! I call it mentally challenged

[@nicolamills8003]

I'm where u were... Argghh!

[@nancymcguinness6440]

Enjoy your life.

[@Mr-C-Codes]

How did you get away safely?

[@psiinc]

@@Mr-C-Codes , Be very calm, cool & collected. PLAN wisely without saying a word to anyone unless you would trust them with your life. Go “gray rock” and do not respond to the narcissist’s hysterics and psychosis. Soon enough you will be free to heal and find what you deserve- peace and happiness. 💜🙏🏽♥️

[@barbarastrayhorn4667]

Same here. Took a while to figure it out. Dad was an in your face narcissist. Ex was covert.

[@published2809]

Narcissists are so two faced that it makes me sick. I wonder if the others realize this. I certainly hope so!

[@susannakotoff7095]

covert narcs don t show their true colors with everyone. they r charming chameleons

[@joanb8489]

“The entire pattern of narcissism is built on illogic and dis function”. This is absolutely true!

[@Shepherdmom]

I'm so messed up mentally and emotionally from 30 years of being in a relationship with my narcissistic husband. I left October 2020. We have adult kids. We are sharing custody of our German Shepherd. The first 6 months apart was the worst, now it's a little better since he doesn't have control of me anymore. Unfortunately I cannot trust anyone anymore. I live alone with my cat, I've totally turned into a recluse. At least I'm not being used and abused anymore.

[@suzannegerhart8818]

There's nothing wrong with being a recluse, while you heal, but I hope you will recover soon and find good people who are honest and trustworthy. It was important for me to look for the good in some men after a very toxic marriage. I didn't want to hate all men because of what happened to me, so I prayed for an honest man to come into my life. I believe it's important to keep hope alive and know that there are still some good men out there and even good women.

[@alicecoppers8980]

Same here! As an introvert I do not like to be around more than two or three people. After the narcissistic abuse I don’t wanna be around any people. I have chosen to rescue animals instead of people. They will never turn on me unless I run out of food.

[@rozdoyle8872]

@@alicecoppers8980 19 nears ago I started rescuing old manky houses instead of manky Narcs , the houses look great when given lots of TLC and the buyers are always pleased with their new home ,Imaging putting a renovated Narc up for Sale ,one has to laugh at their lunacy.

[@Voirreydirector]

Oh my dear, you are in my prayers. Let’s here it for quiet and reclusivity! I went from having a two story home to a 12 x 60 camp, it’s a good way to leave the past behind. Plus therapy.

[@amandaroberts5111]

@@Voirreydirector Was it hard to adjust to a smaller place? l have considered it too.

[@Gracie-dz1qq]

When I finally came out of denial, I felt so sad and angry that my better qualities were used against me in some sick twisted game. I felt like they made a joke out of me and my desire to make this person feel better was weaponized against me. All they have is my reaction, and this channel has taught me to work on my reaction to them by basically not responding.

[@sage9836]

High-five. I went through this thing where I just decided (this was really dumb) to be an a-hole because liars and jerks seemed to win. Luckily I was bad at that. I later got myself situated among better folk who are worth emulating. I know I was super awkward and over-earnest, but what kind of people would humiliate someone over that? I am so eager to hear this video because, though I caught on and got out, the humiliation still stings.

[@krisztina442]

The denial you are writing about is very difficult to defeat. I think the solution is different for every individual. E.g. I remember that when he showed me his real face, I woke up immediately, I was not in denial because reality was too harsh to deny but I struggled with my anger for a while. 'How could I be so stupid? He just used me and my kindness was weaponized.' etc... I know that many people deny for years and when they finally come out, they collapse. What can help someone 'pierce' the shield of denial? What needs to happen? I want to understand that as I can see this problem all around.

[@Gracie-dz1qq]

@@krisztina442 I think what needs to happen to pierce the shield of denial is completely accepting that EVERYTHING is on the table as an option for these people to get their way. And I mean EVERYTHING. That is to scary for me.

[@FixItStupid]

@A S Good That How It Is So I GONE From ALL YOU PEOPLE

[@jloggy7643]

Yes, working on yourself is soooo important. Do not get discouraged when the moments of doubt and denial creep in on you. Remember that the damage done to you by a narc did not happen overnight so do not expect to be healed overnight. This community here is great. Each of us here are either still healing or now helping guide others through the healing process. I am still very much in the healing process after leaving my narc of 23 years back on 3-8-2021. Hang in there.

[@Lolkillah5]

I just told my father who has been absent for the majority of my life ,how I feel about all that happened and how it hurt me and he really has the audacity to put the blame on me ,his son he abandoned ,these people are straight up delusional ,it’s crazy.

[@iys6890]

They are emotionally immature !!

[@eurokay4755]

So sorry you had to experience it in person, but now you can clearly see hmthat it's impossible for the NPD person to acknowledge, much less accept, responsibility, for their conduct. It's waste of time, energy and breath to talk with them about how ot affects you. Besides, they actually like hearing how they hurt you because it confirms that they matter.

[@killadjango6995]

agreed 💯🎯

[@classicaltutor2370]

Yeah, good luck getting an honest answer from a narcissist. In forty years of marriage to a covert, manipulative narcissist I NEVER got an answer to ANY of my questions, let alone an honest answer.

[@tallguy8937]

When you have narcissist parents and sibling, all with different hateful, controlling agendas, there is no winning. They leave families, relationships, and people in their wake a complete mess…..and there’s a lot of them 🙁

[@heatherwood6446]

There is no winning in you family of origin BUT there is still winning in life! You can start a new family dynamic with your spouse & children & later your grandchildren. You can do amazing things in life without them! You must use boundaries to succeed BUT it is doable! My dad= malignant narc-sociopath, no contact for 7 years. My mom= covert narcissist, finally moved to live near her golden child a year ago, extreme gray rock method used, only communicate 30 min. a month, Video call for my kid's sake. Otherwise only respond in a group text with my hubby. (Her mom was a grandiose narc.) My sister= recently recognized she is a narcissist, probably covert. She has ghosted my family because 5 years ago I fully addressed the abuse she/my siblings/mom did to me my whole life...then I went from the sister to always lean on to "crazy" & can't communicate with her family. My brother= narcissistic tendencies but I believe he isn't an actual narc. Has brainiac tendencies, struggles with gaslighting if wife is present, & poor communication skills BUT he believes my story & even remembers some of it. We talk sporadically. My sister= covert narcissist who follows in the pattern of my mother by superficially "friending" those who will help her get where she wants & then drops them when they're no longer needed. This year she's phoned for 1 minute & texted me 2x. I employ gray rock with her.

[@ld3418]

@@heatherwood6446 I thought that too and knew what NOT to do raising a son by not doing what my narcissist mother, weak father did. Tragically, my son began showing signs, in retrospect in his teens, but I only recognized him as malignant narcissist at 32 when he became highly abusive. Genetics plays a role.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

@@ld3418 I think it almost gets passed on like folders moving onto others on computers. Learned behaviour?

[@Aurora-ht3jx]

You are so Correct. My daughter is a narcissist and had 3 little children. They children are going through hell with her emotional and physical abuse

[@heatherwood6446]

@@ld3418 I'm sorry to hear that about your son. None of my kids show signs of such & obviously I broke the cycle, so it CAN be done. Therapy plays a HUGE role too! EMDR is a life saving healing therapy!

[@ralphstadler7373]

Narcissists seem to be in DENIAL of there reality and the situation, you can tell them but they don't listen!!! And the Rollercoaster ride , pattern, cycle continues, it's really hopeless, these people are sick

[@VC_333]

Truly sick.

[@spaideman7850]

narcs are mentally sick, they totally need mental doctor but they won't admit they have issue with their mental, hence they won't consult a doctor but continue to torture people around them.

[@nancymcguinness6440]

I was my narcissists source of stress, just because I exerted my independence. Between the constant comparing me to others, the revolving door of cyber ladies and daily insults, I got away, haven’t shed any tears and have never been more content or happier.

[@Yatukih_001]

You refused to feed Morbius. Its your life and your heart stream.

[@treelover1050]

YOU HAVE THE FREEDOM TO BE YOURSELF.

[@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723]

Ditto! Me too…. Once I figured it out, I was GONE. With a No Thank You and Never again…. This “problem”, that was “ruining everyone’s lives” (what he told me on repeat), walked out of that door, and never got sucked back in, I did get sucked back 2 x before but the 3rd time I knew what this was. I was OUT! We were fini’! My life is now mine and I’m free to be me I focus now on myself and our mutual adult child. Even she has said it’s ultimately been a gift. She said we were not good together. First she was Angry at me for leaving but I knew it was ok for her to be where she was I did not poison the well with her perceptions of her dad, she is half him/half me. She came to her own revelations it just took time and patience.

[@mmommo-hx4dx]

me2

[@patriciawhite5355]

They will drive you nuts or make you think your that way lol

[@s.hicks7213]

The crazy thing is is that they can be in a room of 100 people and they still insist that they are the most important, the most special, and better than everyone there. Including their so called loved ones. It’s insane.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Does the word egomaniac register?

[@s.hicks7213]

I feel like the only way I can get some sort of peace of mind and insisting on setting healthy boundaries with my covert introvert narcissist MIL and still keep my dignity intact is by not loosing my cool and staying calm while she’s literally doing everything in her power to try to make me react out of hurt, anger, and frustration so she can say, see look you’re the one who’s a problem, not me.

[@traceyculyer5811]

That's very true. My father was very ill in hospital and while visiting him, the first words from my mothers mouth were , are you not going to ask me how I am then, I will never forget that.

[@mickryan2450]

Put 100 narcs in room 2gether ģrab a seat sit down watch the shitshow

[@polarbear5905]

"YOU DON'T RESPECT ME ANYMORE" my ex said to me with such contempt, disgust and narrowing eyes when I began to try to stand up to his manipulation and control. It took me some years after to reflect on our relationship and realise that he never actually respected me. This also allowed me to realise that I lacked so much self-worth and never knew I had the right to have valid opinions to stand my ground with. That's the sad result of such a controlling, blaming, guilt-tripping dynamic. Thank you Dr Carter

[@susanm.4100]

YES!!!! Same exact experience. And he looked at me with such contempt and disgust.

[@Devilicious.]

I have been right there with you. I'm so happy for you! Your strength is inspiring! ❤️

[@rosemaryraplar8]

My brother exactly!

[@Rumplegirlskin]

Whoa! I went though recently this with a communal narcissist with BPD. Actually, I go through it once a year now that I think about it. He flips out and gets sooo angry.

[@rosemaryraplar8]

@@Rumplegirlskin hmmm....I'm wondering if one can have BPD and be a grandeur narcissist? 🤔

[@Picca65]

For me it's been the moment I realized they always have to protect their fragile ego. Everything in their lives is obly build around that.

[@carolwinch-buist2356]

You are helping me with my husband of 40 years, I chose not to be divorced and have had many illnesses because I was a victim. I no longer tolerate his narcissistic control and I feel free and he has become very quiet. I believe at 71 he has worn himself out with keeping up the performance, because he has retired he no longer has a place to practice narcissistic lying and deceit. Because myself and our family have learned to shut him down and call him out he cant function on the narcissistic level. This works most of the time but sometimes he will just explode with something so narcissistic and crazy I now just laugh and say “ you must be kidding or whatever “ . It’s all good about 80% of the time and depends on my reaction which I’m learning to control. Thanks for helping me see I am not a victim I am not his slave I am not a verbal punching board and I will no longer be treated badly, also God doesn’t want this for me either. So thank you and praise God for your wisdom and giving me new strategies for life, I am free.

[@ChrisPyle]

Wow. You just described my future if I hadnt caught her cheating. I guess it’s a blessing after all

[@SendItForward]

---> Carol I am so glad you shared bc I too am still married 😬to my NH and he is older now. True we don't live together but he still comes around and tries to "do his thang". He isn't near as bad as he used to be and I believe it is bc as you said, the ppl available to him are not around anymore since retiring. But woe to those in the stores and on the road which is why I rarely go anywhere w him. He's embarrassing and he'll be wrong and cause a loud scene. I go w him on occasion (to certain stores) bc he'll get confused and start acting out as if HE is not the problem it's this or that, so, sad to say but I do believe the adage that a N will never change. OH oh his favorite lines are "if they woulda did it THIS way" or "if you woulda SAID it this way" I WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD. Yeah RIGHT!!!! It's always finger pointing out not in.

[@Devilicious.]

Thank you for your channel. We in the comments really need to hear that we ARE NOT the crazy, irrational ones. You're an important ally to us! ❤️

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

This means a lot to me, Ophelia. Thank you.

[@ellik1817]

Totally agree.. Thankyou Dr. C Love you & Gus…💛🤍

[@leapingjoseph8462]

@@ellik1817 , I agree. I have depression and live with a narc wife. I have only been outside a few times in almost 4 years and that's mainly to go to doctors appointments. She gaslights and does things to upset me then gives me the silent treatment. I don't know what to do.

[@rue258]

@@leapingjoseph8462 I pray you will leave that toxic marriage it's not healthy.

[@amandaroberts5111]

@@leapingjoseph8462 If the only person you see is your doctor, confide in them maybe? There is support, that's all l can think of. Or get a hobby that gets you away from her.

[@barbaramedlock4337]

when narcisstic is losing control they threaten unreasonable when u refuse. please be careful u dont know how ruthless they can be lock ur doors take protection of u and family they are unstable mentally

[@pamelaprivette5361]

You are so right, doc! A Narcissist is a pathetic joke---but it is too dangerous to show empathy to a Narc! Thank's for spending your time and energy helping us to get out and STAY out from under this toxic control! God bless you! And to the one who replied: Narcissists are created, they are not born---my own personal experience causes me to question that. I was raised by one, and I chose not to be broken by him, and become like him. I also strongly believe in pastlives and there are people who can follow us throughout different lifetimes with the intent to create negativity and chaos in our lives, even death. We must live in the light so we are guarded!

[@matrixmatico695]

I believe that too. But it's hard to prove because now days biotechnology shows that indeed people are born with chemical unbalanced brains and affects behaviors.

[@tonifonseca9178]

Me too!

[@pamelaprivette5361]

@@matrixmatico695 I have found the behavior of chemically imbalanced individuals to be somewhat different---and I have spent alot of time around them, as well as Narcissists, and detect a difference---especially when you compare their bi-polared behavior with their more balanced behavior on meds (meds that generally work for them). Narcissistic behavior---overall---carries a feeling of malice, a sadistic, covert tone to it---that would indicate a more threatening difference (not to say that bi-polared individuals cannot pose a threat, especially off their meds). With a Narcissist---you would have to know, first and foremost, that you are in fact dealing with a Narcissist, that you have spent enough time being around them to know their "norm", as abnormal and disturbing as they actually are. After you have spent enough time around a Narcissist---and only if you are very perceptive, you will have learned their triggers and how they will react to certain things.

[@matrixmatico695]

@@pamelaprivette5361 My father is a violent Narcissist. And I became an expert at identifying his "kind " when I left home ( ran away) at 15 yrs old . I always thought I was the black sheep . I can even play with Narcissists sometimes . I know their games and patterns. They always fall in the trap and never suspect me of being the one setting them up cause I play the fool around them and they like that ..Being superior to others.. I read a book and in there a shaman wrote that a Narcissist ( Tyrant despots) are good to temper your spirit and tame your own ego .Also the movie " Revolver "(Guy Ritche) sheds a light on them....and quotes " You only get smarter by playing against a smarter opponent "

[@pamelaprivette5361]

But always remember: It is when a Narcissist outsmarts themselves that the tower will come down around them---because there are beings of Light that are smarter than they are! Judgement Is Justice! May love and light always guide you!

[@timlaw1452]

This paradox is hidden to us codependent/empaths. We’ve idolized the Narcissist. We believe they do know better. Even if it’s patently obvious they don’t (especially true for covert narcissists). They are the “crazy” our trauma has been looking for! I love this video as it lays bare in all its nakedness that the Narcissist is not in control it’s all smoke and mirrors. The Wizard behind the curtain. The paradox is the empath is feeding the narcissist while they themselves are hungry. The Narcissist is out of control and we should stop feeding them.

[@timlaw1452]

I should add this is an awesome video - clear as a bell

[@killadjango6995]

bingo 💯🎯

[@susannahschannel6643]

I've actually asked, out loud, "Who died and gave you the right to be oppositional-defiant against everything that makes sense but running straight into something that is utterly CRAZY?!"

[@killadjango6995]

bingo!💯🎯

[@michaelobrien5891]

I believe that they draw the conclusion that our feelings and needs are unimportant because of their pride and arrogance towards us.

[@killadjango6995]

agreed. most cases they were psychologically abused as kids so they really have low self esteem. making u feel lower than them is their COWARDLY defense mechanism. I know my narc father's story but if its someone u meet later in life, u may have no clue how they became that way.

[@anitarushlow4022]

You nailed it! Illogical and dysfunctional in every way. Abusive in every way. No contact is the Only Way!

[@rickrussell6188]

Narcissist's, appear to lurch from one drama to another, it never ends with these folks.

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

But narcissists don't get jokes. Their hearts are not light enough.

[@Georgia.O]

The narcissists are a joke! 😂 Also, you've hit comedy gold there.

[@emmatador7947]

They’re constantly annoyed at everyone but themselves, lie, steal, cheat, belittle, patronize, rage, expect any & everyone to cater to them, but do nothing for others unless there’s a return. In their contrived stories they’re either the victim or the hero.

[@SendItForward]

well summarized!!! Finger always pointing out.

[@cazjay017]

Absolutely

[@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723]

One thing I constantly heard when I brought up double standards, was, “but that’s different….” The comment was correct, albeit a twisted difference the story was the same but, when you ask a narcissistic person to be accountable for the things they hold you accountable for, that is different! They expect you to comply to their needs, and they will not comply to yours! It’s nonsense extraordinaire! A kind of perception the narcissist will have is, “you have to_____but I don’t, because I am Me!” They are like radioactive waste, So TOXIC, if you are around them, get yourself a Geiger counter because eventually you will get sick from overexposure.

[@rozdoyle8872]

Best description ever " Radioactive Waste" so very true

[@mday3821]

My covert mother could say & do whatever she wanted, but if I did it I would get backlashes & if I brought it up to her she would say, "well, that's different!" Ugh!

[@susannahschannel6643]

THIS!!!

[@ime7918]

Narcissism as toxic waste is a great analogy.

[@justmichael6628]

( TRUTHFUL ) Narcissistic Traits passed on from one generation to the next , leads to Generational Degradation in the world . Narcissists are hot and cold ; making them Lukewarm . Which is why being around them can sometimes cause one to experience nauseous symptoms , causing one to spew from the mouth ' their mental illness they try to place in you .

[@Stretesky]

Very accurate. These people are walking talking tragedies that want to take every down with them. 💔

[@killadjango6995]

misery loves company! ruuunnnn!💯💨💨💨

[@douaa1934]

When you recognize your own power Thank you Dr. Carter and team healthy

[@vcmay626]

I have found the perfect answer to my narcissist's bad attitude and him putting me on the spot. "I do not have to answer to you". It just deflates him and he laughs and turns back into my friend.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That's gray rock!

[@snowbear1877]

It is indeed a life of alternative reality that they create. Whenever I've said anything they have just laughed it off, or reacted with rage.

[@anniebrowning7354]

Yes. Like little kids. Yr first time with these peoples denials, it's hard to believe it! Talk about absurd.

[@give_peas_a_chance]

Your healthy and reasonable questions really highlight how insane narcissists are.

[@haveaniceday23]

5 dates and he took his mask off. And of course it was done the night before a holiday. So typical lol

[@lisafrankenstein3657]

Ah man, mine really acted up on holidays. They must be jealous to not be the center of attention for the day

[@haveaniceday23]

They hate your peace. He definitely didn't destroy my peace. I'm solid in my foundation now

[@martyprivate4373]

no matter how difficult the subject matter, it always warms my heart to see Gus on the couch.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Gus is my buddy.

[@damariscampos8066]

Oh wow. With my narcissistic ex- husband I was not even able to finish a sentence without being interrupted, cursed and screamed at . He never, never let me speak!!!! It was a waist of time even to try to ask a question, Much less have a conversation !

[@jemmajames6719]

If I try to tell my husband something if he actually listens he tries to guess the end of my sentences if I pull him up on his behaviour he goes in a nasty rage. He also sets you up so he can rage at me of course it’s not around our grown sons, he gives me the look the I want to kill you look.

[@marmaladesunrise]

"What's at stake here is my DIGNITY." EXCELLENT Dr. C.! Gus is AWESOME!

[@marmaladesunrise]

@@sh6460 From what I gathered, the statement is for self only.

[@mikeseitz2792]

These people can turn the sun into darkness, just looking at them !!

[@thomasstanford80191]

I am thoroughly shocked but mostly mortified and horrified that there is anyone out there suggesting there be "healthy narcissism"

[@PENH5428]

Dr Les has a way of making the narcissist less scary and more pitiful . The more I listen to Dr Les , the more I see my narcs as out of control toddlers in adult bodies . It def takes their power away and I’m at a place mentality where I can see things as they are and can laugh at the sad and pathetic narcs. They can’t control me anymore . ❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Keep learning!!

[@rebeccamay6420]

Toddlers in adult bodies. Excellent comparison. 👍 The tantrums, the "not my fault," the redirecting attention toward someone else's shortcomings, the "you made me [do such-and-such]" ... 🎯

[@goldalevin869]

The best way to avoid a fight with them is not to ask any of those questions.

[@istateyourname4710]

Gus is so doggone cute!! (Pun intended) :)

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Woof!

[@zenaidaoftarsus]

I have a friend whose husband fits this video perfectly. She feels trapped and feels so diminished. This has been going on for 30 years. So very sad and frustrating to see her suffer. She is afraid to take action to save herself.

[@tranquility9325]

Her health will take a serious toll as a result of this continued abuse. She needs to get away, and fast.

[@NATALIEKING1976]

@@tranquility9325 I’m sure it already has and is

[@npn7564]

Praying for her

[@zenaidaoftarsus]

@@tranquility9325 it already has sadly

[@sirtedricwalker2979]

@@zenaidaoftarsus My sister stayed and died. She was the ultimate people pleaser/enabler and allowed everyone to walk on her. Trained by my mom. She was an empath. Wished I could of helped her then but I hadn't been educated in Dr C's videos. Rescued my twin though.

[@elizabethhuang9789]

Narcissistic ex said he was just being “funny” or “joking” when he’d say stuff like it’s ok for him in his 40s to legally marry an 18 year old. I looked at him and admonished him: just because it’s legal doesn’t make it appropriate, ethical, or moral; and then I called that pedophilia. He backtracked and said he was joking. I asked him what the punchline was - he went silent.

[@Connor4x4]

That's not pedophilia but it is weird

[@whitewings2363]

Sounds kinda mean to me. Not saying he wasn't a narcissist, but even common people can be mean at times. Just be glad you're not in a relationship with someone you don't like anymore.

[@memes.1114]

I agree, it may not by law be pedophilia but these men know it's close. It's like waiting for a 17 year old to be 18,so you can make your move🤔 in other countries were the age of consent is lower men continue to show their true colors narcissist or not. Yes, they always have mean hurtful jokes. I told my husband jokes are meant to be funny and make you laugh not cause pain in others.

[@elizabethhuang9789]

@@memes.1114 Exactly. What is funny about marrying a girl that makes the guy old enough to be her father? That’s predatory and pedophilia; not humorous.

[@elizabethhuang9789]

@@Connor4x4 A real mature man would not even suggest anything along the lines of predatory behaviour.

[@jacklarson6281]

the joke is on them. because one day they will wake up and wonder why you no longer want to be around them

[@carolann2445]

Another insightful video. Love when Gus makes an appearance, visual or auditory. Dogs also provide therapy. 🙂

[@treelover1050]

BESIDES DOGS ARE SO LOVING AND. FUN TO PLAY WITH.

[@dm3144]

YES 👍 I got my puppy about 2 months bf going No Contact w my abusers. The very best decision I’ve ever made! She is adorable,sweet,loving and my best friend (which I’ve never had ) 🤗🦋💜

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

My ailing brother gave me his dog after I left my narc. Grady looks like the black version of Gus. Dogs bring the love of heaven to earth.

[@allenone6970]

"If i want a friend in this town, i will get me a dog". President Harry Truman, in reference to Washington DC.

[@alyssaleatham8544]

I remember in the beginning and one of the ends of our on again off again relationship, I found out about narcissism. I went to him, excited that we could face our issues together, now knowing what they were, that I had a name for his suffering- narcissism. It was, in hind sight me suffering because he didn't feel a thing but I didn't know that. It is laughable now to think back but at the time, I had no idea how insane that notion was and I thought I could help him.

[@stayce751]

Wow….this is my story too. I wasted so much time trying to keep the relationship afloat-never realizing that it could never happen. It takes two people to make it work, not one person putting in twice the effort.

[@waterox73]

I'm obsessed with your vids right now. They're all wonderful and, honestly, more helpful than 35 years of therapy and 3 "mood stabilizing" medications!! As are the comment sections. Thank you sooo much 👏❤️💋

[@trish8399]

It sucks that asking those types of questions, no matter how they're posed, results in them simply denying all of their behaviour and at rhe same time claiming to be answering your question. I guess the denial is their answer.

[@Natalie82170]

Yes exactly and it doesn't matter how much detail/evidence you give them.

[@trish8399]

@@Natalie82170 yep. It's mind-blowing how adamant (surely they're not THAT stupid...) they are in their denial, in the face of clear evidence. I wonder if they feel embarrassed and that in turn makes their determination stronger because it's yet another negative emotion they're trying so hard to not have to face.

[@Natalie82170]

Maybe so though it seems they are too full of themselves to feel embarrassed though it would be nice to think they have at least a tad bit of insight. I think they are just delusional like a high functioning schizophrenic or something. This is a great channel. I also like DoctorRamani ..

[@sunnybein1]

Narcissisms root is deflection of shame..and shame must be deflected at all costs to uphold their mask of 'normalcy.' They were taught that 'vulnerability' is weakness by parents/caregivers.Deflection is their armour..without it they'd collapse.Its an ingrained survival mechanism from childhood.

[@alphaomegaambassador4978]

Illogic and disfunction - the fruits of a liar.

[@maximinoblas1171]

Narcissists are doomed to be alone 😔 🙁

[@lisafrankenstein3657]

My favorite thing is they are delusional and can't self-reflect

[@AnneWilliamsonanneliesecreates]

Narcissists can drain the life out of you. Thanks for your help! By the way I love your dog in the background! So cute!

[@shantellcobb7067]

Caregiver mother 😖 40 diagnosed with MS at 16 and I have a son 19. He hates her!! I had to get a social worker because I wanted to physically hurt her!! DRAINING ISN'T THE WORD. DEATH TO A SOUL 🤦

[@anythingflows7381]

These are the questions that keep me up at night! racing through my head at all times of the day. I wish i could ask them but we all know that would not go well at all. they would freak out. "Why do you think it's up to you to control me and my life? who are you again? and all these double standards? i will make my own decisions, thanks." thanks for your videos, Dr. C!

[@andreabaldwinporter6901]

@AnythingFlows So many unanswered questions like these keep me at night too or I wake up angry at my mother. It's torture. Try to distract yourself- that's what I do because I will never get ONE answer much less many questions answered. My Dad passed away right before Christmas and no one even told me! They are so horrible and cruel!!!! My faith gives me comfort. It's a very painful journey because you can never close the book. I just want to dump all this abuse and emotional damage in the garbage but it doesn't work like that, unfortunately 😔 Love and prayers for you 🙏 big hugs ❤

[@virginianesbitt7777]

Eventually that stops no contact helps if you can manage it...low if not.

[@ss-321]

No Contact. Works till you are decived by a another person who calls about them self,and turn conversation about No Contact trying to be the go between. I should have never answered the phone. Now they will be no Contact also if the boundary is not respected.Just a web of sickness

[@anythingflows7381]

@@andreabaldwinporter6901 Wow i'm so sorry, that's awful! I wish we could get rid of it all too, I find myself ruminating and wasting so much time because of this treatment. And no one else seems to see it... i try to distract myself as well like "i'm thinking about it again... focus on something else." it's so hard. Love and prayers for you as well, thank you

[@anniebrowning7354]

When they deny even obvious proof you have, they told you a real nasty lie in a textmessage or mail. You know these people are not going to admit anything they did wrong. The best you can do is to leave them. Don't let them know what you think and feel, just leave. Don't give them a clue. It took me some time to understand how hopeless they are. But never again. 😇 (the narcissist)

[@janeylynn5934]

My narcissistic sibling is highly controlling of our family whenever we're all together. She sets the agenda for everything we do, and if she is challenged in anyway, she always uses her kids as an excuse. She says that everything controlling she does is because of the needs of her kids. Anyone who doesn't have kids is gaslighted and told that they simply don't understand, because they've never been parents.

[@killadjango6995]

that's the narc "I'm special and you're not " classic! I'm glad u caught on!🙏🏽💜

[@brightpage1020]

Just venturing a guess based on the title: is the answer “that you are responsible for your life situations, not them?” I imagine that is a freeing thought for some, a terrifying alternative for others. Best of luck to all!

[@ellisburton8733]

The ex is a charismatic drama addict (unsurprisingly an adrenaline junkie too). His life approach is capable of massively overwhelm your boundaries as you try to keep up with the dramas. 6 months free after waking up, and not laughing....... Deepest thanks to the Dr for all his videos.

[@sharontalley2155]

The narcissist in my life screamed at me that to receive respect you have to have respect for others. This was when I mentioned that it's good to have respect for other people.

[@kimwilliams5014]

Ridiculous, right? Yup, I have a thousand of those crazy examples.

[@SendItForward]

Oh my, I'm so glad to hear this, it's validating me for allllll the years I've had to listen to "you can't take a joke", (HIS cruel jokes, that is) never ceasing. I picture him as an automatic water sprinkler head that waters a 4 ft area from right to left then cuts off as it returns to it's preset start.... "can't take a joke, can't take a joke, can't take a joke ch ch ch ch can't take a joke, can't take a joke..." And how everyone dodges and walks WAAAAY around it to avoid the spray!!!!

[@leilagomulka5690]

Cruelty is the optimal word

[@hissyfitz7890]

1. If your way of life is so much better than mine, why do you need to force your agenda onto me? 2. How did you draw the conclusion that my needs/feelings are unimportant/irrelevant? 3. Why is one person’s differences so threatening to you? What is it about diversity that blows you away? 4. Why am I supposed to respect you when you absolutely refuse to show any respect at all toward me? 5. When you’re so critical & condescending toward me, what are you saying in your mind at that moment that allows you to justify your presumed superiority over me? 6. If your so certain that you’re the better person why is it that there is such an absence of peace in your life? 7. How did you arrive at the fact that my agreement, my conformity, my compliance toward you is so is so essential to your sense of stability? (To be continued… maybe 🤔)

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Good notes!

[@hissyfitz7890]

@@SurvivingNarcissism - Your wisdom!

[@snuggledog5050]

You are extremely correct. Your summing up of a Narcissist is perfect. I love your videos.They are like Alien beings with no Hearts. They are Evil and distructive beings they deserve to be left alone totally. It should be more exposed that these people are just sick you can never reason with them because they are cruel and heartless individuals.Like a Preying Mantis personality Dont get sucked into their charm..Please any one who has met one of these people dont ever think you can change them or feel sorry for them they are total control freaks. Almost merciless reptiles Animal minded. They dont have feelings towards any Human they hurt . But that is there psychological food. I Love these videos exposing these beings..that inhabit our Earth.. To Love one another is not in their emotion mentality. They see kindness as a weakness.

[@sandrabellerue2836]

His disrepectful answer: "non sequitur" to dismiss any question. Dead on, Dr Carter.

[@priyankasingh-nx6ju]

My-ex manager would call me for 1-1 and attack me continuously for 15 minutes. If I say anything the attack would only increase, if i cry , I am being sensitive. She has a verbal diarrhoea. When she left the team, we all felt relieved, my new manager read those reviews and apologized to me. During 1-1 i was shocked , straight for 15 mins no insult, only appreciation, i had tears.

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

Lose control to gain control

[@johngaulding3710]

My narc wife is raging right now. Been married a long time. I discovered NPD 3 years ago. I now have control over my emotions and the big joke is definitely on her now. I told her what she is and it's her world that has changed, not mine. She will always be evil and a nasty person to me. So my relationship with her won't change, but her relationship with me will never be the same

[@mariaawake4502]

Good that you found out about NPD, it is a life changer. My narc husband has no flying monkeys and seems to lack the ability to obtain new supply. So sometimes I watch him raging on like a Tasmanian Devil, usually for no or minor reasons. 🙄

[@robertbrown1839]

Remember that, many times, these people are the product of a traumatic childhood, they are victims.

[@emmaharper860]

Accurate to a T. They are not worth the time of day. It's just sad we had to go through it, but a lesson at the same time.

[@saddam9507]

If your spouse, friends, or co workers treat you great, but are quick to treat others bad, Remember, they will also treat you the same way one day.

[@georgeharris7448]

Blessings, Thank You Dr. C

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

I have a brother who jokes continually, I call him; "serious conversation challenged." If he does get serious it is always to intimidate, mock or disregard whatever I say and do. His jokes are not funny, they are childish and they never stop. If I answer the phone to him he never says "hello", he begins with a joke always. I have felt for a long time that he was controlling people through his joking, it places people in a position of having to laugh even if they don't feel like it or think it is funny. They aren't jokes about me, they are just "second grade." One time at a family function years ago when I was in my 50's he grabbed my neck under his arm and thrust me over to rub my head with his knuckles. I was mortified at the disrespect but he laughed and no one corrected him for it. This is something twelve-year-olds do to someone. I have avoided my family for many years because of things like this. Thank you for saying there is no such thing as healthy narcissism.

[@izawaniek2568]

It is a very cruel joke! Really! It is at times impossible to believe! So many people’s dignity has been negatively affected! Incredible! Thank you for your helpful support dr Carter.

[@eaglespackpro9792]

I married a narcissistic woman, back in the day i didn't even know the concept. after a few years of ''not getting it'', I started to research and wow, i am trying to help my kids, a boy and a girl, i am trying to help them not get entangled in a vicious cycle. You have helped me on the way immensely, I want to thank you for that.

[@Nicole_elizabeth1561]

You have just described the experience I've had with my mother. It's truly crazy making! I didn't like the person I was becoming when I was around her. After going to therapy for some time I realized it's not me it's her. Still didn't know she was a narcissist until I started setting boundaries and she blew her top. Not I'm three weeks no contact and adjusting to life on the other side. It's wonderful.

[@killadjango6995]

agreed. went no contact with my father. they're miserable and misery loves company. let them drown in their own misery!💯

[@Kittykat79NY]

There's no such thing as "healthy narcissism!" So true!! Sick individuals! Thank you Dr C! ❤ Gus! The best assistant ever!

[@bron9674]

Gawd, don't ask those questions unless you expect rage and have your running shoes on.

[@elpacho....9254]

It’s true; my girlfriend makes all the worse decisions, but never accepts responsibility for anything, yet she insists on being in control.

[@kimwilliams5014]

Get out! Do not marry her if you enjoy peace and happiness…! Run safely and swiftly, friend!

[@elpacho....9254]

@@kimwilliams5014 I’m not going to marry her.

[@rabbiberelscharf8585]

Howdy Les! Thank you for making the narcissist's intentions so transparent! I personally wouldn't ask the narcissist any questions as it is all a big waste of time and energy! Be well and all the best! God bless you!!

[@ld3418]

Absolutely! No point in engaging. Disappear quietly and when you can no longer provide supply in boosting ego, covering their back, giving them money, you are worth nothing to them, this from both my malignant narcissist mother and my malignant narcissist son, abandoned by both when I had to pull out to survive.

[@rabbiberelscharf8585]

@@ld3418 sorry to hear what you are going through! 🥺 Stay strong!

[@ld3418]

@@rabbiberelscharf8585 Thank you for your encouragement! I am grateful for the many blessings I do have.

[@iamgoddessoflove]

One way to know that you're dealing with a narcissist is when they take, and take, leaving you feeling depleted. Whereas, you'll receive less, and less or nothing in return. 💙KZbinr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[@moebanshee]

I just would remind everybody that that joke we're calling the narcissist can get dangerous. We can look at them and think they're very immature they're pathetic they're acting out like children but it can turn ugly really fast. It can start out with the love bombing hey I'm going to cut your grass I won't take no for an answer I'm a nice guy you got your hands full and then it can turn into violence. Joke isn't a word I would exactly use when discussing a narcissist they're sick people they're dangerous people their predators.

[@tyelia1]

I agree

[@sherriolson5033]

You are absolutely right. More attention needs to be paid to this. These are ruthless people, full of treachery, who do not care about anyone but themselves.

[@anndra1160]

Yes, dangerous people indeed!!! Never underestimate the level of "low" a narcissist will stoop to in order to inflict harm on another person - especially if you've caused them some narcissistic injury by exposing them, standing up to them, leaving them, etc.

[@kennethlapointesongwriter3330]

Some narcs are just blowhards who really are pathetic controlling cowards if truth be told...but others can be borderline sociopaths or really evil-intentioned bastards, violent etc. You'd have to size up each one on an individual basis methinks.

[@lucypalsgrove9210]

I agree, it can get dangerous. I ran for my life one night, he came in the house and I was having a drink, he threw the drink at me, threw some other things at me, hit me and said, he was going to kill me! I ran to a neighbor and called the police. He took off. A relative came and helped me leave. Oh, he stole my wallet and my phone . I pressed charges.

[@alicecoppers8980]

I recently told a narcissist that if he could not get along with his mother because she would not allow him to control her what is going to happen when he needs a woman that he really loves? If that woman is smart she’ll run like hell. Because the number one thing in a marriage is how your partner was treated by their opposite sex parent.

[@drea4195]

Amen to that. If I had really understood this back then, I would have seen the big red flag from how he treated and talked about his mother.

[@aviatoraw]

What I am hearing from you is that they seek control because they are out of control and their secret self knows that. But they cannot admit to that and subsequently cannot cope. A constant need for control in their physical world because they are simply lost and scared.

[@SteveLindsley7]

At the end of my 26 year marriage after strongly suspecting of my ex being a narcissist (they will never agree to a psychological profile even if you agree to one), I said to her, “You know I’ve always wished for your happiness but never once have I heard you wish that for me.” Her response was, “I didn’t know that (your happiness) was important to you.” Wow, wow, wow!

[@SteveLindsley7]

@@zoeymckeown3194 Thank you, Zoey. I did wait until both our kids had left the house. And, I feel sure that I added years to my life. Unfortunately, she was a horrible partner but to the rest of the world, she was so smart and pretty and CHARMING! Behind closed doors, she was an emotional vampire.

[@kimwilliams5014]

So many mind-bogging statements!!! I get it!!

[@kimwilliams5014]

All the time, those “wow wow wow”s happen when you’re around a narcissist…. I once told my husband, very calmly, “I just want to be loved.” His reply? “What is that insatiable need to be loved about? Is it due to some brokenness in your family?” Wow wow wow…!

[@SteveLindsley7]

The narcissist always will turn the tables. Your partner tried to guilt trip you into thinking you were the needy person when, in fact, he needs you to remain his “supply.” My experience with a narcissist is that they have an addictive personality. Their addiction is to their ego. Unfortunately, their addiction, like most addictions, take down relationships and families all the time. And, tragically, there is no 12 Step program for narcissists… because there is no “bottom” for them. There is always someone else to blame.

[@malikak9384]

@@SteveLindsley7 I need your help please I broke up with him yesterday, but I am so confused that I doubt myself,I sometimes question my behaviors and my anger if I am not a narcissist too.

[@dmix2263]

Oh my- I’ve recently been reunited by phone and social media to an old bf from my 20’s. It blows me away how much he is exactly the same maturity level. Every other word is f this and f that. He was all excited and way ahead - wondering if I believed in second chances. Only selectively remembers our time together. So very full of himself and self absorbed. Angry I couldn’t video chat with him or drop everything in my life to go spend a weekend with him. Tells me to get my shit done and go visit him. Said I needed to get over the recent death of my Mother. All I can say is thank God I stood up to him each time he tried to control me. He comes off as so happy go lucky as he messages me to tell me everything he did in a day, without even asking me anything about mine. He clearly abuses alcohol and seems so proud he sent me photos of his cocktails. One day he had messaged me and I had Siri say, I was driving. He kept sending me photos and emoji’s and lol’s. I’m driving, it’s ok to text but I can’t see photos. More photos, emoji’s and lol’s. I’m driving and I can’t see photos, more photos, emoji’s and lol’s. Yes I began to ignore messages until I got home. He clearly had zero ability to listen and was oblivious. I asked him to take a minute the next day to review our conversation. So Next day, I ask if he had a chance - nope ! Why? Because he deleted them. So I send screen shots- He responds with how great a day he had and he had a few drinks. I literally had to explain what had happened.